littleball: I want to go back to what I used to be

[Melissa5000]

I read on wikipedia about vulvodynia. This is a lot about pain in your privates right? It is very likely to be another withdrawal symptom. In withdrawal we get pains everywhere in the body so it can also emerge in our private parts. It will probably fade when your other symptoms fade. So it is very likely to be temporarily. Did you talk to your doctor about a solution for sex? Maybe you can use lidocaine cream for sex? If that doesn't work just focus on all the other things you can do to make love. Don't let this pain lose all the intemacy! When you can't do something because of withdrawal explain it to your boyfriend so he understands. And then suggest something else you CAN do. Jus a stupid example of my situation: I can't go for a long walk with my boyfriend so I explained that I cannot walk a lot because of the nerverpain. Then I said but I CAN sit with you in the garden. My boyfriend lives far away but there is always skype, phone and whatsapp!

 

If your job does not suit you then change it. It is not worth it that a job makes withdrawal even worse.

 

Your boyfriend might get bald, but many men are. Nothing to worry about. If he doesn't like his appearance there are many beautiful hairtoppers that look very real. I'm losing hair too at the moment. It is a pity. But it is just hair. It is one of the last things to worry about now. Maybe in future I'll need a wig, maybe the hairloss stops. It is just what it is. I can handle that. Don't be too afraid about that. It must be neuro anxiety. 

[sadandconfused]

I'm so sorry you are dealing with this! This withdrawal is such a frustratingly horrible long process and normal anxieties on top of it just make it that much worse. I think I've talked to you before and I'm dealing with similar issues. I feel like the most shallow person because ever since quitting Lexapro cold turkey I notice all of my boyfriends flaws. It's strange because I know that he's incredibly handsome and a lot of other people do, but I definitely hear you on noticing little things that bother you and I always end up feeling guilty for thinking the way I do. I don't know if it helps, but I've been talking to some couples who have been happily married for a long time and they told me that if all I'm doing is chasing that fairy tale feeling, then I'm never gonna be satisfied. I don't know if that's completely accurate or not but it has helped me a little when these thoughts start. 

[littleball]

Hello folks, I changed my job and I am happy with this choice. My sentimental life is a complete disaster though. All the symptoms are still there at the same intensity, neuropathy is tearing me apart, but I am trying to focus on my new job, which is keeping me busy and away from dangerous thoughts and Google searches. Best wishes to all 😊

[arbor]

Hello @littleball  How are you doing?

[littleball]

Hi, I wanted to send an update after 3 years and a half. 
Well, long short story: one disheartening breakup, 2 cross-country movings, 2 new jobs.
Now I work in Belgium for a multinational company in IT and I live with my boyfriend who I met last year. 
 

Many improvements thanks to therapy and my new BF: I started taking singing classes, I started working out seriously, I cut off social media almost completely (they used to cause huge distress). 

 

I am afraid to say that the symptoms (mood swings, neuropathy etc.) are still there but that’s because I still have OCD and I started therapy only 3 years ago. Previously I overlooked my OCD, I thought it was just the Effexor and that I wasn’t really suffering from OCD. Turns out my OCD is quite severe! I can’t expect to feel good while my OCD is still so bad. 
 

I am writing now because I feel quite bad after a stressful vacation and I am a bit discouraged. This time I am just sitting down and waiting for the wave to pass. Also now I am able to keep trace of my symptoms and I can say this crash is related to my hormonal cycle. 
 

Takeaway: focus on your happiness and on treating your underlying condition, learn how to handle stress, do therapy, meditate, journal. You will heal and feel renewed as I’ll do when I recover from OCD. It’s a long journey though. You need to put some effort, just like someone who wants to recover from a leg injury. 
I know you don’t feel the energy to fight. That’s why you need a therapist. They will guide you to that point.