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Abandonment Depression


fefesmom
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What do others know of the concept of abandonment depression? I first read about it years ago in Alice Miller's The Drama of the Gifted Child and it resonated strongly with me. I am wondering if that is what I "have" instead of clinical depression (they are not the same apparently). I never thought I was clinically depressed after my mother died but was sad and cried a year later when I was "put" on ads (I did go along with it and it certainly numbed the feelings). Now that I am off ads for four months these are the same feelings I had back then - loss, grief, aloneness, regret etc. I do feel terrible at times and also feel somewhat hopeful that now I can deal with these feelings, old as they are. So, do any of you out there know of this idea - abandonment depression - and what is your experience, information etc. I googled it and got lots of sites but am very interested in hearing of this site's people's experience. Many thanks.

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Fefe ~

I didn't find that specific terminology in Drama ~can you give a page or chapter number --

She addresses abandonment in several ways that I suspect many of us will relate to -

Thnx

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Hi. I do not remember that term in the Drama either.

 

It is however a book that resontated deeply with me.

 

Before I chose Dr. Polypharmacy to address my issues, I was in talk therapy. My therapist and I used do practice something called rebirthing. Essentially, you breath in a very deep and concentrated way and all this trapped emotion and memories come up. And wherever you store stress in your body, you will feel it. For example, I store all my stress in my neck and during some of the sessions I could feel all the emotions literally get lock there, I was in terrible pain and I was directed to breath and cry and scream and the pain moved up and out my mouth.

 

ANYWAY, how this relates is this: during one session I had an intense memory. All of a sudden I got chillingly cold. And I remembered being a baby in my crib crying out for my Mother to come get me warm. She wouldn't come. I literally felt the fear of my Mother not coming to warm me. I felt the abadonment. I was crying like a baby. I relived the movement in rebirthing.

 

Rebirthing is weird wild stuff.

 

But, it lent credibility to what the author was saying in the Drama of a Gifted Child. That these fears are set inside of us as babies. My Mother cannot show love physically and she has a ton of baggage and fear. She told me that when she gave birth to me that I looked at her as if "this is what I am getting for a Mother?". I have always had an attitude and been precocious, but I kind doubt that the minute I came out of the birth canal that I was capable of assessing her potential as a parent. So I know that her feelings of inadequecy where transferred to me as a baby when she held me. Also, I was not breast fed.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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Maybe it isn't Miller who writes about abandonment depression : I don't have the book so can't refer to it. I also read a book by Masterson (maybe James) about the true self and maybe he mentions abandonment depression. I thought it was Miller. Sorry.

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How would you describe it, Fefes?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Yes-- that would help me to understand since I don't have that book.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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My understanding is that the abandonment depression has to do with separating from the parent(s) as an adult and going beyond the literal or figurative abandonment the adult experienced as a child and has never dealt with adequately. It is quite Freudian I think and relates to Borderline Personality Disorder. At any rate you can google: Masterson abandonment depression definition or abandonment depression Masterson six key elements. It is way too complex for me to even try to explain it. My understanding of it is very rudimentary - more a gut level attraction. That's why I was hoping someone on this site knew about it and could explain it. It may not be appropriate here anyhow. So, for what it's worth that's the information I have.

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