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elizabeth11: Must learn how to survive: neurotin gabapentin melatonin withdrawl


elizabeth11

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I went on to neurontin aka gabapentin to deal with a stressful situation that resolved itself earlier this month. The situation was so bad that I knew I needed something at the time.

 

I've been taking 100 mg twice a day plus melatonin 6 mg at night. Have been on it for little over a month. Halved my melatonin for one night which was a big mistake. Am back on 1 3mg and 2/3 of the second pill.

 

Had needed the neurotin for a stressor which has resolved.

 

Now am suffering from anxiety that I know is completely irrational. It is like my subconcious is massively search for something to panic about. I want this back out of my life. I'm also so tired in the morning that I cannot get out of bed.

 

Has anyone else had such side effects?

 

Can neurotin cause this or is it the real me shining through because I'm on such a low dose? :o

 

I maybe going through menopause as well. :(

 

How do you safely get off of it?

 

:blink:

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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  • Administrator

Hi, Elizabeth. Thanks for joining us.

 

Neurontin is not known as an effective medication for anxiety.

 

From Official FDA information http://www.drugs.com/ppa/gabapentin.html

Adverse Reactions

Cardiovascular

 

Hypertension (at least 1%); vasodilation (1%);

 

CNS

 

Dizziness (28%); sedation, somnolence (27%); headache (15%); ataxia (13%); fatigue (11%); hostility, nystagmus (8%); tremor (7%); asthenia (6%); emotional lability, irritability (4%); abnormal thinking, depression, feeling abnormal, feeling drunk, hyperkinesia, vertigo (3%); abnormal gait, amnesia, dysarthria, incoordination, libido decreased, nervousness (2%); balance disorder, lethargy (less than 2%); anxiety, confusion, malaise, paresthesia (at least 1%); abnormal coordination, hypesthesia, twitching (1%); aura disappeared, occipital neuralgia, sleepwalking; movement disorder (postmarketing).

A 2% incidence of "nervousness" is high for an adverse reaction. Fatigue at 11% is very high.

 

Fortunately, Neurontin comes in a liquid solution, 250 mg per 5 mL (50mg per 1mL). Get the very tiny 1mL oral syringe to taper it gradually.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I take 200 mg gabapentin in the evenings because it does make me drowsy ... I used to take 400 mg by taking 200 mg in the morning and 200 mg in the evening, but dropped the 200 mg in the morning because it was contributing to drowsiness ... I will be tapering down on the gabapentin by 10% every couple of weeks when I get to that particular drug ... right now I'm trying to get off of Effexor and Xanax.

 

Karma

2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax

200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg
Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg
Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor


I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers

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I'm really in need of help and advice. I've had a massive return of the depression, the nothing is worth living for or getting excited about, wanting to sleep all the time blues.

 

And it is ALL SO MUCH WORSE DURING THE DAYLIGHT hours.

 

I'm still taking melatonin (5mg) to help with sleep. I have lorazepam available but have been trying to avoid using it.

 

I'm coming off gabapentin quit last week and in Nov was taking wellbutrin and celexa.

 

What causes the daylight hours to be so miserable ?

 

It really makes me wonder if I need to be back on something, but I have not been off gabapentin for a week yet.

 

How can I get out of it? I'm so tired from feeling so crappy.

 

Thanks in advance

 

-a very desperate soul

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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Hi, Elizabeth, I'm so sorry you are having such a miserable time. I think most of us have been where you are and we know exactly how you feel. It is really scarey! All I can tell you is that tomorrow you may have completely different symptoms. Probably also very uncomfortable, but nevertheless very different. I guess that's how I've managed to hang on throughout ths ordeal. I think true depression repeats itself day after day with very similar symptoms.

 

How is your appetite? How are you sleeping? Anyway, if you're very early in withdrawal, I think you're going to go through a lot of uncomfortable days. I wish I could tell you otherwise, but my experience tells me it may be "easier" to take each day as it comes. Learn meditative breathing, eat right, and get some exercise when you can. And try not to stress over this too much. I know this is really, really hard! Keep your eye on the prize--no more drugs!

I started withdrawing off remeron in August of 2009, with the help of a holistic physician.The reason for the withdrawal was a year or two of off and on nausea, deterioration in my thinking, and more depression. It took me a full year to work from 135 mg down to 45mg. At that point, more drops were causing more depression. Unfortuately, the nervousness that I was also feeling for the last year continued with the 45 mg. Thirty one days ago, I stopped the remeron. I am still feeling the nervousness every day and the last week, I am feeling what I think is depression but not sure. In bed in the morning, I'm already dreading another day feeling this way. I am intensely unsure of myself and find it very hard to do anything. I was a practicing veterinarian for 29 years until I found I could not practice anymore. First of all I couldn't think, or remember, and I had absolutely no confidence in anything I did. These were things I did with relative ease for twenty+ years. So, this feeling of no confidence has been during the time I was on the AD(the last 2 years) and today. I take no other medication other than my blood pressure meds. I tried supplements with my holistic dr. but they seemed to make the intense nervousness even more intense. Anyway, I truly feel stuck.

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I'm really in need of help and advice. I've had a massive return of the depression, the nothing is worth living for or getting excited about, wanting to sleep all the time blues.

 

And it is ALL SO MUCH WORSE DURING THE DAYLIGHT hours.

 

I'm still taking melatonin (5mg) to help with sleep. I have lorazepam available but have been trying to avoid using it.

 

I'm coming off gabapentin quit last week and in Nov was taking wellbutrin and celexa.

 

What causes the daylight hours to be so miserable ?

 

It really makes me wonder if I need to be back on something, but I have not been off gabapentin for a week yet.

 

How can I get out of it? I'm so tired from feeling so crappy.

 

Thanks in advance

 

-a very desperate soul

 

I was in this condition a couple weeks ago. Can you post your taper schedule? I would like to see what meds you were on and for how long. Probably this episode will not last long. It takes time to heal. You may be able to heal faster if you do certain things like eat right, reduce stress, look for any underlying issues like hormones, sleep good, etc. I have come to realize that these horrible times do not last and that time is what we need. If you feel tired then sleep. Being able to sleep is much better than having insomnia.

Various SSRIs/SNRIs 7- 1/2 years

Went Cold Turkey from Celexa 2011, Stayed Off

Psych Drug Free and Loving Life (over 6 years and counting)

 

How I Stay Well: Diet, exercise, meditation, supplements, etc

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I'm really in need of help and advice. I've had a massive return of the depression, the nothing is worth living for or getting excited about, wanting to sleep all the time blues.

 

And it is ALL SO MUCH WORSE DURING THE DAYLIGHT hours.

 

I'm still taking melatonin (5mg) to help with sleep. I have lorazepam available but have been trying to avoid using it.

 

I'm coming off gabapentin quit last week and in Nov was taking wellbutrin and celexa.

 

What causes the daylight hours to be so miserable ?

 

It really makes me wonder if I need to be back on something, but I have not been off gabapentin for a week yet.

 

How can I get out of it? I'm so tired from feeling so crappy.

 

Thanks in advance

 

-a very desperate soul

 

Hi Elizabeth,

 

As an FYI, melatonin can cause depression in some people. It definitely did with me.

 

Could that be an issue?

 

Hang in there.

 

CS

Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010
Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006
Finished taper on June 10, 2010

Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016

Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week

April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia

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I feel like I am dying all over again.

 

The pdoc said to quit the 100 mg twice a day of gabapentin. Did that by last Sunday.

 

I rotated back to pnurse-she has a license for meds and she told me to do the standard 1/2 a .5 ativan when needed, exercise, all that stuff that you really cannot do when you feel so low.

 

Yesterday I found out that I did not get into a graduate school program that I had been working on for a year. Was a pretty big blow, but I think the problem was they didn't look at the entire picture, didn't consider where I went undergrad (seven sisters) verses other applicants from the local state school. I'm sure that those who did get in deserve it, but it is hard to learn that after having hoped for a year it would work.

 

I'm not really eating. I just have no appetite. I don't want to do anything, be anywhere, do anything with anyone.

 

This is such a core, to the soul sense of pain for which I want, I need relief at all costs.

 

Is this who I really am? :o I just want to curl up in a ball.

 

Any advice would be so appreciated!!

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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How long have you been taking the gabepentin?

gabapentin has a withdrawl also and should not just be "stopped"

 

Per Wikipedia:

 

"Gabapentin should not be discontinued abruptly after long term use. Abrupt or over rapid withdrawal may provoke a withdrawal syndrome reminiscent to alcohol or benzodiazepine withdrawal.[34][35] Gradual reduction over a period of weeks or months helps minimize or prevents the withdrawal syndrome.[34]

 

Side effects upon discontinuation of gabapentin that have been reported in medical literature include insomnia, restlessness, agitation, anxiety, disorientation, confusion, light sensitivity, diaphoresis, headaches, palpitations, hypertension, chest pain, and flu-like symptoms.[34][36][37][38] In at least one case, abrupt cessation of a high dose of gabapentin triggered a seizure in an individual with no history of epilepsy.[37]"

 

 

I get SO sick of these doctors who don't know what the "H" they are doing to us!!!

 

Could you get a second opinion?

Becky

 

After taking Cymbalta 60 mg/day for 5 years for generalized anxiety disorder, decided to wean due to immediate withdraw effects after missing one dose. Weaned maybe to fast. Starting Early October, 2011, I went from 60 mg to 40 mg/day for 2 weeks then 20 mg/day for 2 weeks to 0. Within 2 days of 0 Cymbalta my life changed in ways that I am afraid I will never get back. I had intense rage, panic, tremor, dizziness (which was mildly helped with over the counter dramamine). In addition I had trouble getting words out and many moments of disassociation. On top of it all, during the time I was weaning, I started having constant pain in my pain and hip. I went to see multiple specialists (ortho, neuro and spine), had 2 MRI's, went to physical therapy and a chiropractor. Not one specialist can find a cause for my pain. The Neurologist did convince me to at least go back on a SSRI (instead of an SSNRI) and I agreed (I'm scared.... I'm a mother of 3 - a 22 year old, a 21 year old with autism and a 13 year old with anger problems. I am also a wife a a man with Muscular Dystrophy. I am the sole financial provider) to Prozac 20 mg/d. The crying spells continue (call it guilt of all that is going on in my household - not being able to mentally handle it) and the pain continues. My daughter is to the point where she doesn't know if she wants her son left with me because of my nerves (I don't blame her). My next step is a pain management specialist. I have yet started taking any narcotic pain meds cause (being in the healthcare field myself), I know the stigma behind it. I'm scared and I really need support.

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  • Administrator

Hi, Elizabeth. I merged your two topics. Only one topic to a customer in the Intro forum.

 

As autimom pointed out, abruptly stopping gabapentin can indeed cause a withdrawal syndrome. I suspect that underlies your exaggerated response to your recent disappointment.

 

If I were you, I would reinstate 100mg of gabapentin immediately to reduce withdrawal symptoms. As Karma suggested, you might take this in the evening.

 

6mg of melatonin is a very large dose. As cs suggested, it could be contributing to your depression.

 

Did you titrate up on the melatonin from a low dose? How did you arrive at 6mg for your lowest effective dosage?

 

Very few doctors or nurses understand that people must taper off these medications, although they all have warnings about abrupt withdrawal on their labels.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi Elizabeth:

 

I was briefly on Gabapentin for migraines. My body did not like it at all, I became severely depressed.

 

Tell me, are you taking capsules or tablets? This will make a difference in how you taper. I believe tha Gabapentin is typically dispensed in the US as a capsule, with powder and the lowest dosage available is100 mg.

 

However given the short amount if time you were on the drug, plus the low dosage it shouldn't take an extended amount of time.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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*topic moved from symptoms forum

 

I thank the stars for this site. :) I've already posted under newbie. I've been off gabapentin for one week and melatonin for 2 nights. :D I was only on 100 MG 3 times per day gabapentin and had already dropped to 200 mg total per day when I quit that one week ago. Pdoc told me to take more but I felt to doped up. I was on for less than 60 days. Had an incredible stressor going on in my life that resolved. Due to the GREAT advice on this board, I went off the melatonin too which has done wonders to help lighten the morning anxiety. Plus I added eye-shades--an idea from this board too. But I still wake up with the I'm worthless, I haven't accomplished anything in life, sort of depths of despair. For the life I me, I cannot get going doing ANYTHING and just want to stay in bed. I know I should exercise but just cannot move. I feel better as the day goes on. 1. So, did YOU HAVE A DEPRESSIVE/suicidal REACTION to going off/tapering your meds? What was it like? Did you ever consider going back on? 2. HOW LONG did it take for that feeling to leave you? I know everyone's story will be different but I'd love to hear yours. Thanks!

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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  • Administrator

elizabeth, I saw your question about whether you should "go back on something" to deal with depression resulting from too-fast gabapentin withdrawal.

 

You may have missed this:

....As autimom pointed out, abruptly stopping gabapentin can indeed cause a withdrawal syndrome. I suspect that underlies your exaggerated response to your recent disappointment.

 

If I were you, I would reinstate 100mg of gabapentin immediately to reduce withdrawal symptoms. As Karma suggested, you might take this in the evening.....

 

If the symptoms you're calling depression abate when you take a low dose of gabapentin, that indicates your "depression" is indeed withdrawal syndrome.

 

The "cure" for withdrawal symptoms is to taper slowly, not to take another drug for "depression" that may not exist.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Administrator

If you have withdrawal symptoms from Neurontin, what you should "go back on" is a low dose of Neurontin, see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1844-elizabeth11-must-learn-how-to-survive-neurotin-gabapentin-melatonin-withdrawl/page__view__findpost__p__18281

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks for the reminder.

 

Is anyone else having the same situation, depth of despair in the morning :angry: and feeling better in the afternoon and later? :)

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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Elizabeth,

YES. Exactly as you describe. It is different than any 'depression' I experienced previously. It's difficult for me to stay in bed when I wake - i will lay there and ruminate, so I do manage to get up and have coffee and watch some TV. I have to be careful with what I watch because most things trigger negative emotions, particularly from Matt Lauer on Today Show or the travel experts saying that a hotel room is 'only $289/nite and whatabargain!' I throw this in because it is a new sensitivity that I developed during withdrawal.

I feel an incredibly painful lack of worth/reason to go on/purpose/interest and am often 'frozen' (as in fight, flight, or frozen). It feels beyond my physical capacity to walk to the next room at times.

It isn't a desire to die or escape some horror, but a dread of the nothingness and lack of knowing what I'm here for. It's a very hard distinction to describe and i hope my descrption makes sense. An existential-îsh lack of purpose, 'where did my life go?' torment..

Definitely worst in the morning and noticeably less by mid afternoon. Have not considered reinstating -

Im about 10 months past last dose but I was on for 18 years so very different situations-

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • Administrator

Cortisol naturally peaks in the early morning and declines until the afternoon, when the calming nighttime hormones take over. The cortisol effect is exaggerated by withdrawal and hypersensitivity.

 

To answer your original question, elizabeth, I had the "black holes" for about a year post-Paxil.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I hope I follow your pattern„ Alto -

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Hi Barb,

 

Im also 10months off after 14 plus yrs use, and i have this also, im so sorry to hear others struggling with the same,

Alto -----hope i follow the same pattern you did regarding this issue too.

Dont know if our the same Barb, some days are better than others with this, some days its just NOT there, other days

it takes some shifting.

Began taking 30mg Seroxat on 15th Jan 1997 for grief issues. Remained at that dosage until Dec 05, did doctor ct, akathesia set in along with being non functional and overly emotional, brain fog. Doctor prescribed prozac, propranelol and diazeapam to counteract side effects, and told me to ct those 3 after 2.5/3 months use, induced wd seizure on 2nd day after ct. Was reinstated on seroxat 20mg in april 06, remained at that dose until Nov 07 and began a very slow taper lasting 56 months, finally DRUG FREE on 11th may 2011.

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Hi Barb,

 

Im also 10months off after 14 plus yrs use, and i have this also, im so sorry to hear others struggling with the same,

Alto -----hope i follow the same pattern you did regarding this issue too.

Dont know if our the same Barb, some days are better than others with this, some days its just NOT there, other days

it takes some shifting.

 

Thanks, Angie. Mine is unrelenting in the mornings. The days vary some, but I have a ton of stressors that are effecting me. The last few mornings I've woken with rage and my mind running thru all of the doctors who mistreated me over the years. It must be working through in my sleep because my mind is racing before I really feel awake.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Mornings are always the worst time for me too.

 

Elizabeth, I had a terrible depression when I CT'd 1200 mg of Neurontin in 2009. I became extremely suicidal and also very motor-retarded, unable to eat, barely able to move, and overwhelmed with a desire to die.

 

Just to let you know that you're not the only one to have this type of reaction. But you were on much smaller doses for a much shorter period of time.

 

I reinstated to 300 mg at that time and have been gradually tapering since early 2010 (along with other meds).

 

From what I hear and what I have experienced with Neurontin, the withdrawal period isn't as long as with a lot of other meds. You can either reinstate to a low dose and taper from there or just ride it out. I think you will probably be feeling much better in a few months.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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I dont lnow how you did it Rhi ~

Q-did you have help or own your own -

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I've been off ADs now for one year and four months. I still struggle with depression, but it could be my original condition to some extent, mid-life crisis, hormonal changes, etc. I feel suicidal off and on. At best I have a mild desire to keep going and occasional glimpses of possible future inspiration. I feel really lost in general, unmotivated. I'm often overtaken by envy, regret, and anger. Lack of desire and energy play a big part. It does tend to get better in the afternoon.

 

A bit of my lack of desire and failure to find happiness was around before I quit meds. It could just be getting older, but I thought it could be due to the meds as well. When I first went off them, I felt like I was coming alive. Then I progressively felt worse and worse, and then started having problems with anxiety.

 

Right now I can definitely say I am better off than I was about a year ago. Less depersonalization and anhedonia. I can actually enjoy things now, even if it's not as easy as it was at other times in my life. Usually what I enjoy is spending time at home doing something simple like cooking or reading. I don't have a whole lot of interest in socializing, but that could also be because I haven't been around people that really inspire it. Maybe it's also that I'm older now.

 

In any case, I try to concentrate on the progress, as gradual and erratic as it has been.

'94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.
6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.
11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.
9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.
10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?
11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever.

1/13 Best I've ever felt.

3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows.

4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I dont lnow how you did it Rhi ~

Q-did you have help or own your own -

 

Just struggled through on my own. Came very close to harming myself. Not really sure how I got through it to tell you the truth. But I did end up on the Celexa and Xanax that I'm still tapering, during that time; I guess they may have helped, although I'm not sure.

 

Like a friend of mine says, "you never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left."

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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A friend of mine told me to ask myself every morning regarding the AM blues/anxiety....

"how is this servig me?"

 

I am not sure why, however when I wake I have been asking myself that question, and it seemed to help.

 

I started to tell the anxiety off after I ask that question :angry: You know, get angry at it.

 

Hope this helps:)

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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I've been off for two weeks.

 

--I've been having feelings going from it is the end of the world in the morning to okay maybe I'll make it in the evening.

 

--I cannot sleep. I've been following the good advice of using eye covers.

 

--Have an utter lack of motivation.

 

With your experience, have you had the sudden realization of the issues that the antidepressant may have been dulling for you to are now alive and staring you in the face?

 

Feeling that the AD may have let you glide through life too easy to date?

 

Incredible feeling that the AD was a crutch you needed to walk and without you might tumble and fall thru life?

 

For me the issues are since stopping the AD are my age (40), family (no kids or significant other), grad school coming (yeah) which is now going to require me to move 5.5 hours away to a small town is frightening, plus +++++ These issues have vividly come alive and are scary as heck!

 

I'm sure we all have our own private list of issues.

 

--Did using a psychotherapist to help you get through these issues? Any other coping strategies?

 

I had been seeing a young therapist in training who would just repeat "so what does this make you think" instead of giving me feedback. She also wanted me to sign a document in which I agree to keep compliant with meds. (I said no + I'm off them!) She thought if we got to the route of my anxiety it would just magically melt away. I've told her, politely, that it wasn't going to work, but am still stuck in overall inertia to find someone else.

 

Experienced advice would be so appreciated. The horrible want to just throw in the towel thoughts for some peace (no plans to act on them) are lighter but still there in the mornings. My self-confidence just seems so tattered.

 

I hope it is from the changes of so much being "new" since coming off ADs.

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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Hi Elizabeth...

 

Two weeks off of meds is very often when the issues you are experiencing crop up. I call it Protracted Withdrawal ~ (Discontinuation Syndrome).

 

The way it has been explained to me is that the brain is now without the medication and is trying to adjust. This can take a long time, and then again you may be fortunate to get on with feeling well in a few months.

 

I recently got off of a tricyclic (Imipramine) and after about 2 weeks all hell broke loose, feeling like you do now. I went onto Celexa, however, for me w/d is stronger and supercedes the effects a new med. For a good 6-7 weeks I went thru hell and this past week it broke and I am fine.

 

I have had the opposite reaction than you interms of feeling things I may have not felt before (emotionally). I never had that 'blunted' effect on a/d's. I felt my feelings, sometimes too too much. I am hypersensitive.

 

However, I have read many posts over the years about emotions cropping up after being numbed.

 

Please believe me, you are not alone. Hang in there and it may be a good idea to comb thru posts on this site re: people who got off meds, what they experienced and what they did to ease their symtpoms.

 

Hugs

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

Link to comment

I've been off for two weeks.

 

Hi Elizabeth, I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. I remember how I felt at two weeks off, so I understand much of how you're feeling

 

--I've been having feelings going from it is the end of the world in the morning to okay maybe I'll make it in the evening.

 

--I cannot sleep. I've been following the good advice of using eye covers.

 

--Have an utter lack of motivation.

 

These are very common (but very difficult) symptoms in the acute period of withdrawal. For me the feelings were the worst, followed by the insomnia. I isolated a lot so I don't have anyone else to ask what I was like during this time. But I was very anxious, a terrible anxiety. And I couldn't sleep, a condition made worse by my sensitivity which led to abnormally potent reactions to stimulants I was accustomed to, like coffee.

 

With your experience, have you had the sudden realization of the issues that the antidepressant may have been dulling for you to are now alive and staring you in the face?

 

Feeling that the AD may have let you glide through life too easy to date?

 

It may feel like that, that you are seeing the world again, unmasked from AD blinders. It probably feels this way. I think a better explanation after two weeks might be that life feels more vivid, intense because you are experiencing withdrawal effects.

 

However, as time has gone by I've realized I see and deal much differently off ADs than I did on them. But, for me, this wasn't apparent so soon.

 

--Did using a psychotherapist to help you get through these issues? Any other coping strategies?

 

Sadly, not for me. The right therapist can help, though they likely will not understand your withdrawal symptoms so their advice should be doublechecked through the more informed.

 

There are other coping strategies. Here are a couple threads on therapeutic coping strategies:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1101-best-cbt-techniques-for-anxiety-andor-depression/

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/846-change-the-channel-dealing-with-cognitive-symptoms/

 

Also shown to help: certain supplements (use caution), gently exercise, proper nutrition.

 

I don't know if I'd take supplements so early after discontinuation. I certainly wouldn't introduce more than one at once (this is still my general policy after 24 months off ADs).

 

Are you feeling quite sensitive (overly sensitive; "hypersensitive") to foods/drugs/herbs you used to tolerate fine?

 

I had been seeing a young therapist in training who would just repeat "so what does this make you think" instead of giving me feedback. She also wanted me to sign a document in which I agree to keep compliant with meds. (I said no + I'm off them!) She thought if we got to the route of my anxiety it would just magically melt away. I've told her, politely, that it wasn't going to work, but am still stuck in overall inertia to find someone else.

 

Experienced advice would be so appreciated. The horrible want to just throw in the towel thoughts for some peace (no plans to act on them) are lighter but still there in the mornings. My self-confidence just seems so tattered.

 

I hope it is from the changes of so much being "new" since coming off ADs.

 

I'm sorry about your experience with that therapist. I've had similar experiences and find that most therapists are not very good at accomplishing what you pay them to help you achieve.

 

I have found that certain therapists in certain modalities are much more fruitful than others though.

 

So hang in there, Elizabeth! As bad and unpredictable and intense as things feel right now, they likely to improve with time.

 

Finally, what was your taper like? How did you reduce? What medication were you taking and for how long?

 

Remember that feelings pass and you'll learn that even though there is not easy cure, there are a lot of things you control that will empower you as you overcome this challenge.

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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  • 3 weeks later...

I went on Celexa orginially to deal with ruminations which I could not stop. But after years on it, I felt like I could deal with life. So with a fertility attempt, on a lark recommendation from the Dr., I went off in August 2011.

 

Also tossed in a bit of neurotin Jan to Early March 2012.

 

----

 

4 weeks out, I'm having a really hard time, in a weird way.

 

I have no desire to get out of bed in the morning. My get up and go is so not there.

 

I finally have been able to get some sleep by combining 1 melatonin with 2 valerian capsules. I've actually had dreams for the past 3 nights, which I would say is better than before.

 

***When I wake, my heart is racing. I feel as if my emotional brain is separate from my thinking brain, the emotional say panic and the thinking brain cannot calm it down.***

 

I live for the end of the day, when a switch changes in me and I suddenly start to feel like myself. By the time I go to bed, I'm like yeah, this is me here.

 

But I still feel so fragile, and a lot of what I need to do is not getting done. Maybe I have too much time on my hands? Maybe I'm giving myself an excuse to spend too much time looking on line for ideas.

 

My confidence is not there. I have 2 big things coming up, a final ivf attempt and grad school/relocation. Feeling the emotions so strongly makes me want to run, in a way that is not good for me. I want to blunt the pain...maybe due to old bad habits.

 

My feelings of why am I here?? are very strong. My therapist suggested I'm dealing with a spiritual crisis. I consider it an existential thing, as in why am I even here? What am I meant to do?? This is something I was not having an issue with before I quit.

 

Would something like 5-htp help to calm things down? Rescrew the head on?

 

When I quit the wellbutrin and celexa, I felt like I could deal with the world. That ability to deal is completely gone. Rebound? Something else? Just growing up at ripe ol' 40? My Mom now says I remind her of how she was when she went thru her divorce. Geeze Mom,...:)

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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I would look into 10 mgs of Inderal to take upon waking. You need a prescription for it. It is a beta blocker. It takes the edge off and I took it a few times when I was in WD and it was helpful.

 

As far as supplements there is Kava Kava, which works for some. Also GABA and Magnesium.

 

Keep in mind sensitivity while in WD. And since supplements are not regulated you never know what you are actually getting is pure. Although my husband and neurologist claim Sogar brand is good as far as purity.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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I would look into 10 mgs of Inderal to take upon waking. You need a prescription for it. It is a beta blocker. It takes the edge off and I took it a few times when I was in WD and it was helpful.

 

As far as supplements there is Kava Kava, which works for some. Also GABA and Magnesium.

 

Keep in mind sensitivity while in WD. And since supplements are not regulated you never know what you are actually getting is pure. Although my husband and neurologist claim Sogar brand is good as far as purity.

 

Whatever-

 

What was your experience like when taking inderal? Any side effects on mood or energy level?

 

I also was on Celexa. Can I ask what your experience was like on it?

 

Also I admire your story. It is pretty amazing where you are now compared to what you went through. What was best for you to find the strength to complete your amazing journey?

 

All the best!

Years:150mg Wellbutrin (to concentrate) 20-30 mg Celexa (rumination).

CT 8/2011 during a pregnancy attempt under MD orders. (Idiot!!!) Pregnancy hormones allowed it.

Felt great with 6 mg of melatonin per night to sleep plus preggo hormones-didn't last:(

Best time of my life. Botched IVF in Dec 2011.Stress.

Bone chilling exhaustion and told to go back on celexa and wellbutrin.

4/9/2012 Back on celexa wb for some relief, wb gave me heart palps so dropped and only need 6.6 mg celexa and 1/4 melatonin pill...IMPROVEMENT because my doses are much lower!

REMEMBER to get your thyroid and hormones checked/out of whack ones can appear LIKE MOOD DISORDERS!!

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  • Moderator Emeritus

There's a discussion of 5-HTP going on here

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1993-dsn13-natural-remedies/page__pid__19541#entry19541

 

that you might want to check out. To my knowledge, this supplement has no use whatever for withdrawal from antidepressants. As you'll see in the posts, some people have experienced increased anxiety from taking 5-HTP.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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When I took Inderal while in WD it was like taking Xanax for the very first time, in otherwords it worked very well.

 

I still take Inderal for migraines and anxiety. I have found that in low doses 10/20/30 mg non-long acting version the only side effect is cold extremeties. I have taken high doses in the long acting version of 80mg, side effects with that were depression and weight gain of about 10 pounds.

 

Celexa was the last SSRI I took in a long series of trials with others ADs. As with the others if made me jumpy, manic, effected my judgement, made me numb and gave me insommnia and anxiety. This is why I was on other drugs to counteract the symptoms.

 

Thank you for the compliment. I do not know what makes me so strong. But, I think the fact that I refused to feel sorry for myself and knew that what happened to me was not my fault so the wrongs had to be made right - that gave me drive.

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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Elizabeth ~

You describe my day EXACTLY -it's like im 2 different people from morning to night and mornings are lasting well into the afternoon again -i dont know if the season change did something -

I'm certain this is a biochemical thing it is so pronounced - I did get some propanolol recently and will try tomorrow AM -

It's also been suggested to changemy sleep schedule but that sounds like itcould cause more problems -

I think about going to ER but know they won't do anything and might try to put me in psych-

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Barb-good luck with the Inderal/Propranolol!

Withdrew cold turkey from six medications: Celexa, Zyprexa, Depakote, Ativan, Ambien and Phentermine in 2002. It has been 10 years since I told polypharmacy to take a hike and have joined this forum to let others know that success is possible and to hopefully save people from experiencing the suffering that I did under psychiatric "care".

 

MY STORY

 

"TENSION is when we try to be who we think we should be, RELAXATION is when we are who we really are."

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Thanks Whatever -

The worst part of this pattern is how it messes with my mind every single day - true Groundhog Day -

At night I feel 'normal' and motivated and functional - make plans for next days and then WHAM - spend the next day doing the same thing -

Husband and I actually had decent nite last and LAUGHED together for the first time ever and I felt positive and hopeful going to sleep - we agreed in AM to drive to Vegas to see his family but then he said he was too tired about an hour later so those plans came and went quickly - not blaming him as I wasn't feeling able either -

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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