John667: Twelve years on citalopram

[John667]

Hi,

 

I've been on citalopram for 12 years. Started at 10 mg. for anxiety (+-2 years), then up to 20 mg. (+-6-7 years) and now 30 mg. I'll be 40 years old soon and I feel like I had a lost decade. My main problem is that I don't know what is the consequence of citalopram and what is not. I've got a terrible chronic anal fissure that won't heal which is caused by constipation (one of citalopram side effects) and I am terribly sleepy, all the time, because of poor sleeping time. I sleep at night, but never very deep and rarely feel good next morning. But I don't know if the problem is from citalopram or something else.

 

I work at a job I hate, in which I need to serve customers all day long. I am an introvert person so this is very difficult for me. Having two kids, I can't lose my job so I need to feel "good" so I take my 30 mg. and sometimes I took some more when I feel down in the day. But I need more and more and more...

 

I stopped citalopram for a year a couple of years ago. I was at 20 mg. and took 1 month to stop it correctly. Then, it was the worst year of my life, with a back hernia, terrible back problems, terrible couple problems (that's when I lost my wife) and terrible social problems at job. I don't know if its the consequence of tappering off citalopram or maybe my former self. That's the problem: I don't know who I am without this drug.

 

Anybody can relate?

 

Thanks

[Gridley]

Hello, John667, and welcome to SA.   

 

You tapered the Citalopram very fast, which would account for the terrible withdrawal symptoms you experienced over the next year.  How are you feeling now?  Here is some information on withdrawal.

What is withdrawal syndrome.

 

For future reference, should you decide to taper again,  we recommend tapering by no more than 10% of current dose every four weeks--or less.
Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

You mentioned that sometimes you take more than your regular 30mg.  It is very important to take the same dose every day.  Your brain needs stability and varying your dosage as you described is destabilizing to an already sensitized nervous system.

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

Many members find omega fish oil and magnesium to be helpful.  Try them one at a time and at a low dose.

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

 

Edited August 15, 2018 by Gridley

[John667]

How can you taper by 10%? I can only buy pills at 10 mg., 20 mg. or 30 mg. I can try to split them but it isn't precise enough.

[SkyBlue]

1 hour ago, John667 said:

How can you taper by 10%? I can only buy pills at 10 mg., 20 mg. or 30 mg. I can try to split them but it isn't precise enough.

 

Here is info on making your own solution:

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/2022-making-a-celexa-solution-yourself/

 

[John667]

I take citalopram 30 mg. and already tried to taper and failed a couple of years ago.

I was wondering if there was a way so I could try again tappering by 0.1 mg each week for +-5 years. How could it be done so each dose is as precise as possible?

Thanks

[John667]

I've been on citalopram for 12 years. I constantly feel fatigued, exhausted, tired. I don't know if it's normal or not because I don't know who I am anymore without this medication. I was wondering if people who stopped or reduced citalopram got more energy. Thanks

[ChessieCat]

I've moved your posts to your Intro topic which keeps your history in one place.

 

You may have missed the responses that the other mods posted above.  I will give a list of the important links:

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Tips for tapering off Lexapro (escitalopram)

 

Making a citalopram solution yourself

 

Some members prefer to taper by less than 10%.  You might like to consider the-brassmonkey-slide-method-of-micro-tapering

 

 

11 hours ago, John667 said:

I've been on citalopram for 12 years. I constantly feel fatigued, exhausted, tired. I don't know if it's normal or not because I don't know who I am anymore without this medication. I was wondering if people who stopped or reduced citalopram got more energy. Thanks

 

There are many existing topics on this site.  You can use the site search or google and add survivingantidepressants.org to the search term.

 

severe-fatigue-tiredness

[John667]

Thanks for the information.

Here is what I will do.

For the first week, I'll take a 20 mg. pill + 10 ml. of mixed citalopram and water (60 mg. for 60 ml. = 1 ml for 1 mg.)

Then, I'll try 20 mg. pill + 9.5 ml. and so on.

How much time should I stay at each level before going down 0.5 mg/ml ?

[jozeff]

Hi John, welcome onboard.

 

Read your story and it's quite familiar to me. I'm 42 years old, quite introvert and have been taking psych meds for 20 years on and off. I'm on 18 mg citalopram at the moment. Came from 25 mg and it's really hard if you go too fast. Unfortunately I discovered that recently. I'm absolutely no expert here let that be clear but I can only give you some tips.

 

If you are at 30 mg my advise would be to take 29.25 mg to begin with. This is a 2.5 % taper according to brass monkey who's tapering method and explanation I really like. Maybe hold it for a few weeks and see how it goes. If that is going well reduce bij another 2,5 % and take 28,52 mg. 

 

Make sure to take the percentage of your last dose each time, NOT of the initial dose!

 

I am an analytical chemist and I make my own solutions using a volumetric flask and volumetric pipette ( everyone can do this by the way....). Can be obtained at Amazon and well, very well worth the investment if you want to taper for a few years.

 

I would dissolve 30 mg in a 50 ml volumetric flask. Add a bit water. Dissolve the citalopram which takes about 5 min. Add water exactly to the mark. Shake the flask. Take out 1,25 ml with the pipette. Drink the rest. You now have taken 29.25 mg citalopram.

 

This is really the easiest way to take a very exact amount of your meds.

 

Please post if you think this is too hard.

 

I think others are much more experienced to advice your tapering strategy but starting with a 2.5% reduction for 2 weeks or so would be pretty safe.

 

I tapered by 0,1 mg per day and went to 16.5 mg from 25 mg in 85 days. This was much too fast for me. I didn't know about brass monkeys method unfortunately when I started my own taper. I will be following his taper from now on. It takes maybe 5 years but I want to be gentle to my brain!!!

 

Good luck!!

 

 

 

[jonnypeters1234567]

Take years to taper if you have too. Trust me. I CT, had it is VERY tough

[jozeff]

Best advise ever given to anyone!

 

You know, I've been reading a lot about tapering. My wife takes sertraline and she wants to start tapering soon. I hope she listens to me and not to her gp. I learnt the hard way a couple of years ago with effexor. I forgot how awful it was and tapered citalopram a bit too fast last months. Effexor gave me a lot of electricity in my limbs and head. Citalopram has given me much worse symptoms to be honest. Panick attacks, heart racing, anxiety and much more....

 

 

Doesn't mean you will get that john667 but slow is key here. Listen to these people here and you'll be thankful

[jonnypeters1234567]

how long were you off effexor before you started Citalopram?

[jozeff]

Have been on effexor 3 times in the last 20 years. Last time didn't do much except kill my libido( that's what it does best) 

 

Started citalopram a few months after tapering effexor. Didn't know much about tapering, I accidentally tapered because each time I halved my dose it felt horrible immediately so I decided to take a bit more. Even in the end I felt electricity and took some beads each day.

[John667]

Thanks, I will try to taper very slowly. I went from 20 mg. to 0 mg. in three weeks 5 years ago and the following year (before I came back to 20 mg. citalopram) was the worst year of my life or close to.

Do you think I will have more energy has I taper or totally unrelated?

[jozeff]

Good decision, I think you had to take citalopram again because of WD symptoms from the first time.

 

Take it slow indeed!

[John667]

I took 1 week 30 mg. with 20 mg. pill and 10 mg. in water
Now second week : 20 mg. with 9.8 mg. in water

So far I feel pretty bad, with more anxiety, feeling depressed and somehow like everything is not real. It started last week so I wonder if maybe switch from pill to water could cause some reaction or maybe the dose isn't as precise as what I believe it is. Anyway, I got withdrawal symptoms but it's difficult to believe with only a 0.2 mg. tapering! I hope it'll get better soon because it's not easy at work.

[SkyBlue]

On 8/20/2018 at 2:16 PM, John667 said:

Do you think I will have more energy has I taper or totally unrelated?

 

Hi John,

It's possible that you will have more energy as you taper. Certainly as you heal from the drugs. 

 

Can you help us see your history at a glance by creating a "drug signature" using these instructions: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/18343-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

Your most recent changes are most important. Thanks.

 

[Bellisimo]

On 8/14/2018 at 8:13 PM, John667 said:

Hi,

 

I've been on citalopram for 12 years. Started at 10 mg. for anxiety (+-2 years), then up to 20 mg. (+-6-7 years) and now 30 mg. I'll be 40 years old soon and I feel like I had a lost decade. My main problem is that I don't know what is the consequence of citalopram and what is not. I've got a terrible chronic anal fissure that won't heal which is caused by constipation (one of citalopram side effects) and I am terribly sleepy, all the time, because of poor sleeping time. I sleep at night, but never very deep and rarely feel good next morning. But I don't know if the problem is from citalopram or something else.

 

I work at a job I hate, in which I need to serve customers all day long. I am an introvert person so this is very difficult for me. Having two kids, I can't lose my job so I need to feel "good" so I take my 30 mg. and sometimes I took some more when I feel down in the day. But I need more and more and more...

 

I stopped citalopram for a year a couple of years ago. I was at 20 mg. and took 1 month to stop it correctly. Then, it was the worst year of my life, with a back hernia, terrible back problems, terrible couple problems (that's when I lost my wife) and terrible social problems at job. I don't know if its the consequence of tappering off citalopram or maybe my former self. That's the problem: I don't know who I am without this drug.

 

Anybody can relate?

 

Thanks

Hello John

 

I can relate. I took citalopram for severeal years and after I quit it I had to find myself again, it took some time and still sometimes I can feel unsecure in myself but it gets better and better. I have been free now over 5 years 😃

[TikkiTikki]

Hi John,

 

Welcome to SA! I read your thread because your experience sounds very similar to mine.

 

Citalopram at 40mg (and up to 60mg) for 11 years, with several attempts to "taper" which ended in misery.  Like you, I cut down as a doctor suggested, even a little slower, but still way too quickly. As Gridley said above, your awful symptoms were undoubtedly due to withdrawal.

 

Good news: it is possible to slowly taper your dose down, and eventually be drugfree. This site has all the info you need.

 

As to wanting to regain a better sense of self: in my experience, I have absolutely become clearer, more motivated, more energetic and so much more in touch with the 'real me' since lowering the drug. I'm at 4mg now, and honestly, I feel unmedicated. I've had a lot of time over the last year when I felt really down and bleak, with increasing anxiety, and wondered if it was depression coming back. I questioned whether I was doing the right thing in tapering. But I am learning to cope with those feelings without panicking, and to build a life – with good connections and purpose – that will protect me from the worst of my negative thinking. Brassmonkey and Rhiannon both wrote wonderful posts about the benefits of slow tapers in helping you adjust psychologically, when you're feeling up to reading around here.

 

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now, and I'm so sorry that you feel more anxious and depressed. Just hold, hold, hold – it will get better. Your brain needs time to adjust to each little dose reduction. Know that it is an effect of the drug, and not your own feelings. I know that doesn't always help (because feeling bad just feels bad!!!), but I keep it the tucked in the back of my mind when I start questioning myself and thinking that I'm broken.

 

Best wishes and healing thoughts, John, and I hope you have a good day. 🙂

 

Tikki Tikki

[John667]

Thanks a lot... Does everyone here began to take these because of depression?

 

I had depression but also lot of anxiety and its been that way for years. Before I took SSRIs I wasn't that organized. OK I was younger, but I had trouble with keeping my house clean, etc. Now I'm so organized, everything is cleaner than ever (well, from my point of view... SO may disagree) and I fear that if I stop citalopram my old self (whatever it was) might come back. Anxiety might come back, sloppiness might come back, etc. Sorry for my poor English, but is it possible that what changed positivitely will continue to exist after I stopped?

[TikkiTikki]

Hi John,

 

I think there are a lot of people who are prescribed ADs because of anxiety/ depression, but sometimes it can be 'appropriate' sadness – like a death or major life-change, that earns people a script. There are still more who have non-mental symptoms – things like migraine and other chronic pain conditions – and that's how they end up here.

 

7 hours ago, John667 said:

is it possible that what changed positivitely will continue to exist after I stopped?

 

It's hard to say, but I would think that changes like being more organised etc have probably become a strong habit with you now, and you also know how to do it, so it will probably stick. And as you say, you were younger then, and so many things change as we get older and establish ourselves.

 

When you tapered 5 years ago, you had a terrible year, and that must be colouring your feelings about this. I think it's important to note that 'you in withdrawal' does not equal 'you unmedicated' (and because most doctors have no clue about withdrawal, they mistake is for relapse). How you felt 5 years ago is not the real you.

 

The best way to find yourself again, and sort out what is you and what is the drug, is a slow, steady taper. That way, you don't throw your nervous system into crisis mode, and, importantly, you can develop coping techniques and strategies for things like anxiety if they do occur.

 

In my own case, I think I am an introspective, sensitive, 'over-thinking' type of person who is very susceptible to negative thinking, anxiety and basically second-guessing everything about the world I live in. So yeah, a depressive type – if you believe in that sort of thing. And the ADs dulled that a bit, so being without them means learning to manage myself in different ways. 

 

And remember – you're feeling tired all the time with no energy, and when that begins to lift you may find yourself with new capacities you didn't know you had.

 

Hope you feel better soon. 🙂

[PoetJester]

Hi John

 

i did have increased energy when i stopped sertraline in 2014.  i was always tired on the pill for years and rarely left my apartment due to the fatigue.  i found out later i had  iron-deficiency anemia and may have gotten it from the sertraline.   when i stopped the drug (and olanzapine) in 2014, i had lots of energy and felt better about myself, but the sleep issues of stopping these drugs are hell.  in my case, i went from sleeping all the time for 10 years, to barely sleeping at all, but my energy levels did go up and  i became more active going, for nightly walks of 5-8 miles, only the  lack of good sleep thing became  a constant torment.  

 

i also had pretty severe rectal bleeding when i was taking sertraline.  i had daily diarrhea for years from the sertraline and about once a week i would have around a tablespoon of blood in my stool.   the diarrhea cleared up and i now hardly have blood anymore in my bowel movements since quitting the drugs 4 years ago.   i did later develop intestinal problems in wd, but the problems from the sertraline did clear up after stopping the drug.

 

i can also relate to the being an introvert and not liking a job serving customers.  that's how i got put on sertraline in the first place in 1998.  i had been a cashier in a clothing store and hated the job.  all i did was sit behind a register, and bag clothes and was supposed to talk to customers.  i have never been a "meet and greet" type person and it didn't feel like i did any work at the clothing store, i just sat behind a cash register all day.  i started drinking because i hated the job and ended up getting depressed and put in the hospital and started on the sertraline.    i always did better at jobs where i worked behind the scenes, like in warehouses or in kitchens of restaurants- places where i didn't really have to deal with customers all that much and could just work instead.  i am better at talking to people now.   being off the drug has given me more confidence.

 

anyways, 

 

Poetjester

[John667]

Thanks TikkiTikki and PoetJester.

TikkiTikki: I can totally relate to been " introspective, sensitive, 'over-thinking' type of person", that's totally me. So that's why I am fearful that stopping ADs will only make the real me come back, a "me" that isn't totally adapted to this world. As you wrote, the ADs dulled everything so everything that normally would make me anxious don't make it anymore. However, ADs do hurt creativity and I don't remember who said it but is major authors had ADs back in the days a lot of classics wouldn't exist!

PoetJester: I can relate with blood in stools as well, and one of major reason why I want to stop. Constipation is awful on citalopram.

I'm going for 29.8 mg for a second week in a row and I hope I'll feel good enough to go for 29.6 mg. next week. Slowly, but steady!

[Ather]

On 8/31/2018 at 9:04 AM, PoetJester said:

Hi John

 

i did have increased energy when i stopped sertraline in 2014.  i was always tired on the pill for years and rarely left my apartment due to the fatigue.  i found out later i had  iron-deficiency anemia and may have gotten it from the sertraline.   when i stopped the drug (and olanzapine) in 2014, i had lots of energy and felt better about myself, but the sleep issues of stopping these drugs are hell.  in my case, i went from sleeping all the time for 10 years, to barely sleeping at all, but my energy levels did go up and  i became more active going, for nightly walks of 5-8 miles, only the  lack of good sleep thing became  a constant torment.  

 

i also had pretty severe rectal bleeding when i was taking sertraline.  i had daily diarrhea for years from the sertraline and about once a week i would have around a tablespoon of blood in my stool.   the diarrhea cleared up and i now hardly have blood anymore in my bowel movements since quitting the drugs 4 years ago.   i did later develop intestinal problems in wd, but the problems from the sertraline did clear up after stopping the drug.

 

i can also relate to the being an introvert and not liking a job serving customers.  that's how i got put on sertraline in the first place in 1998.  i had been a cashier in a clothing store and hated the job.  all i did was sit behind a register, and bag clothes and was supposed to talk to customers.  i have never been a "meet and greet" type person and it didn't feel like i did any work at the clothing store, i just sat behind a cash register all day.  i started drinking because i hated the job and ended up getting depressed and put in the hospital and started on the sertraline.    i always did better at jobs where i worked behind the scenes, like in warehouses or in kitchens of restaurants- places where i didn't really have to deal with customers all that much and could just work instead.  i am better at talking to people now.   being off the drug has given me more confidence.

 

anyways, 

 

Poetjester

 

I agree blood in the stool stopped after I quit Sertraline and Smoking,

But I disagree with the fatigue thing, Zoloft and Cigarette is such a combination that made me feel very active,

Me too, I am not a "meet and greet" person, I wish good for everyone but I am not a social animal I guess  its the internet where I socialize specially this website now