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Bayboy - healed and moving forward


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ADMIN NOTE Bayboy's Introduction topic is here.

 

Hi, 

 

Its been a year since I jumped, so I thought I'd return and quickly leave an encouraging note of success and healing.  In 2014, I came to this site in distress and looking for answers after horrible withdrawal from discontinuing a benzo, and subsequently trying to escape from the clutches of mirtazapine used to mask that withdrawal.  I was desperate and running out of options as conventional medicine was offering me no relief.  I experienced many of the symptoms discussed on this forum throughout my journey, but these began to dissipate as I SLOWED down and understood it is a process and not a quick fix.  It was, and remains a spiritual journey, and like all real meaningful healing, these things take time.  Once I accepted that and listened to my body, I began to own it and no longer cared how long it took.

 

I won't get into too many specific symptoms but I know sleep is a significant concern for many, as it was for me.  Although, I still get the odd night of broken or shortened sleep, for the most part, it has normalized.  If I wake up in the middle night, I don't really mind, I relax and drift off again eventually.  The cortisol rushes that so many of us experienced or still do, completely resolved and have never returned.  As my CNS began to recover, so many things improved that I lost count.

 

A very special thank you to the members and moderators that I connected with at that time.  I am so very grateful, you have all literally saved my life.  Dave10, Rhi, Wulfgar, dalsaan, mamma P, to name a few off the top of my head, these people were absolute beacons of light and hope.  As I learned to navigate this forum and extract meaningful tools and hacks, I could mitigate a lot of the symptoms.  It is because of the people behind the monikers that I can sit her confidently and write that I have healed from the experience and happily live drug-free.   As we know, life continues to throw curveballs at all of us, but I deal with it much differently now.  Of course I wish it never happened, but in some strange way, I have grown exponentially from it.

 

Finally, thank you Alto.  Without you, this beautiful community would not have been established and I'd still be stuck in some conventional medicine's world of quick fixes and broken promises.  I have and will continue to pay it forward, as I offer assistance where I can to those facing similar experiences in my own community.

 

Wherever you are in your journey, continue to remind yourself that anyone who has healed from the harm these drugs can cause started out just like you.

 

Take Care - I will check in a few times in case anyone has any questions

 

BB

 

Edited by Altostrata
Added admin note

<p>Dec 2012 - Some benzo's, some AD's for PTSD induced anxiety and insomnia

August 2013 - things go south with benzo (Klonipin), tolerance withdrawal, REALLY SICK, AD's (effexor/citalopram) added for "reset"!?!?, EVEN SICKER

Dec 2013 - RESEARCH begins…located Ashton manual (first breakthrough), my A-HA moment = benzo + too fast WD of other meds caused this mess...

Jan 2014 - convinced to take Mirtazapine 15-30 mg to help with Klonipin/ temazepam/ Citalopram taper, hit with wd symptoms but powered through

Feb 2014- stopped Klonopinipin (too quick taper but was destroying CNS) -, more wd symptoms but masked by Mirtazapine

March 2014 - silly ct attempt of 30mg Mirt , HORRIBLE hwd, no sleep, lasted 1 month, found this site (second breakthrough), armed with new knowledge, began proper slow taper of Mirtazapine and doing exponentially better, roughly 10% of each dose, and some long holds!

April 2014 - reinstate 7.5 mg Mirt, (30 day hold then slow taper for rest of year, took months to stabilize)

Jan 2015 - 3 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2016 - 1.87 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2017 - 0.37 mg (slow taper continues)

Aug 27, 2017 - 0 mg (JUMPED from 0.12 mg) - DRUG FREE!

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  • Administrator

Thank you for coming back and authoring that lovely success story, Bayboy! It will help a lot of people.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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@Bayboy THANK YOU for coming back and telling your story. This journey is scary and your story give hope to so many of us. 

 

I have been working through this for, almost 16 months. While I can look back and see that I have improved, quite a lot, it is amazing how many symptoms I still have and how strong they are. My toughest, dizziness, anxiety (cortisol spikes) and sleep. 

 

From what I have read in success stories, people tend to notice the most improvements after a year and a half to 2 years. Can you please shed some light on your journey with that? When did you start to feel like you had turned in the right direction? I keep thinking, sooner or later, that my system will start to recognize normal feelings and things and begin to lean more, in the right direction. I guess that is the windows/waves thing? I am one of those people, that have never had a wave symptom free. But, in windows, things seem lighter. 

 

I have accepted that this is where I am right now and that healing is measured more in patience, time and faith. I go day by day and, at times, hour by hour. I am fortunate in the fact that I can still work, part time and I can go about most of my day normally. It just takes a lot of positive thinking. 

 

Bless you for the light you share. 

Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017

Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017

Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017

Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018

Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018

Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018

Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018

Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone,

Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone 

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Congratulations, Bayboy!  Thank you for posting your success story.  From your signature it sounds like you've been through a lot....you have accomplished so much!  Your story gives hope to those of us who are far from the finish line.

-1/06 - 3/07 Cymbalta. Fast taper; withdrawal symptoms after 4 mos (didn't realize was WD)

-10/07: 100 mg Zoloft; 1 mg Klonopin - tapered off Klonopin
-Tried several times to slowly taper Zoloft by 10%, then 5% every 4-6 weeks; could never get below approx. 40 mg - spring 2012 experienced major WD symptoms due to stress; tried to updose but no relief, back on Klonopin 1 mg.
-Switched over 5-6 mos from Zoloft to Citalopram. Finished Zoloft 1/13; Citalopram 35 mg and 1 mg Klonopin.
-8/13: 27 mg Citalopram; 1 mg Klonopin

-11/14: 12.6 Citalopram - began to have bad withdrawal symptoms; out of desperation increased to 1.25 mg Klonopin at the beginning of December.  12/13/14 16 mg Citalopram - going to stay here to try to stabilize; stabilized on 16 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

-7/15 - 3/16: reduced to 15 mg; ~ 2 months later w/d hit hard (probably r/t stress); 6/16 updosed to 20 mg Citalopram and trying to stabilize. Updosed to 1.5 Klonopin as well. Stabilized on 20 mg Citalopram after 4-5 months

8/17-9/17: feeling withdrawal symptoms at 20 mg Citalopram (due to stress) - slowly increased to 25 mg. No change in symptoms after 6 months (? tolerance ?)  - decided to start citalopram taper February 2018 (still on Klonopin 1.5 mg).

Supplements: fish oil; magnesium; vitamin D3; curcumin

Citalopram taper:  2/2018 - 12/2019: 25 mg - 11.03 mg I 2020: 10.89 mg - 7.9 mg

2021: 1/3/21: 7.8 mg (1.27% drop); 1/24/21: 7.7 mg (1.29%); 1/31/21: 7.6 mg (1.17%); 2/7/21: 7.5 mg (1.19%); 2/14/21: 7.4 mg (1.34%); 2/28/21: 7.3 mg (1.25%); 3/7/21: 7.2 mg (1.25%); 3/21/21: 7.1 mg (1.25%); 3/28/21: 7.0 mg (1.25%); 4/25/21 - 5/5/21 : generic clonazepam switch; 5/16/21: 6.9 mg (1.25%); 5/23/21: 6.85 mg (1.25%); 5/30/21: 6.8 mg (1.25%); 6/6/21: 6.7 mg (1.25%); 6/27/21: 6.6 mg (1.25%); 6.5 mg (1.25%); 7/11/21: 6.4 mg (1.25%); 7/18/21: 6.36 mg (1.25%)

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Congratulations! Thank you for coming back to offer encouragement it is very uplifting!

2016 - Oct -Daughter started Risperdal (for steroid induced psychosis that never went away after stopping prednisone)

Nov - dose increases stopped at 1.5mg in Dec

2017 - Jan- weaned from 1.5 to 1.0 in 2 weeks then 1.0 to .5 in two weeks and then off. Feb. 3 weeks of increased psychosis, pacing, insomnia, other awful symptoms so late Feb  - Back on 1.5 mg Risperdal. May  - decrease to 1.25mg, two weeks later 1.0mg - symptoms started again. June - held steady at 1.25mg for 6 weeks and switched to liquid (3 ml syringe). July - started 10% taper every 3 weeks, October -  .8 mg, December - .7 mg .

2018 -Jan- 0.65 mg,  Feb- 0.59,  Mar-0.50, late April - .40mg, July- .36 mg, Aug - switched from 3 mL syringe to 1 mL syringe for more accuracy (her dad and i were not sure we were giving her the same dose when in between the 'dashes' on the 3 mL syringe.) Aug -.30 mg (3mL syr)/.44 mg (1 mL syr) difference due to med in the tip of both syringes). Sept- .28 mg (3mL syr)/.42 mg (1 mL syr). Oct - .16 mg (3 mL syr)/.30 mg (1 mL syr). Nov.- .06mg (3mL syr)/.20 mg (1mLsyr). Dec. - tip only/unmeasurable (3mL syr)/.10 mg (1mLsyr)

2019- Jan -.06 mg (1 mL syr), Feb- .025 mg (1 mL syr), Feb 27, 2019 - jumped to zero!!

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Thank you for sharing your story Batboy.  It is so good to know that you made it off of your meds and are feeling well. 

 

Congratulations on staying the course! 

 

 

 

 

 Sept 2013-Apr 2014:  After death of my mom put on as series of meds. Zoloft 6 days, Lexapro1 day, Nortriptyline 10 days, Liquid Prozac 1 week, Cymbalta 1 week.

Got off Clonzapam: 1/2014-9/2014. After given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs

Completed Remeron taper: 41.25 -0.025mgs  1/2015-4 2017. 

Completed Lamictal Taper: 200mgs-0.05 mgs 7/ 2015-11/2018. 

Clonazapam  December 2018. 0.625 Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping and not thinking straight. 28 March, 2019  4% taper Total: .625mgai   26 May, 2019  4% taper Total: .575 mgai,   24 June, 2019 2.5 % taper  10 Clonzapam tablets weigh1.999 mgpw  Average  200 mgpw.  0.0073mgai 9AM, 0.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai, Total: 561mgai,  10 July, 2019 (Compounded pills) .0073mgai 9AM,.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai,

Total .561mgai   26 August, 2019 (Back to regular pills due to bad reaction) .0078mgai 9AM, .01075mgai 3PM, .360mgai PM, Total: .545mgai   26 Sept. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .1mgai 3PM, 0.350mgai PM: Total: .5275mgai   31 Oct, 2019 .0750mgai 9AM, .0925mgai 3PM, 0.340mgai 930PM, Total: .5075mgai,   30 Nov. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .0825mgai 3PM, .3325mgai 9:30PM, Total:.490mgai   31 Dec. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM,  .080mgai 3PM, .3225mgai 9:30PM,  Total: .4775mgai   31 Jan. 2020 .0725mgai 9AM, .0750mgai 3pm, .315mgai 9:30PM, Total: .4625mgai    29 Feb. 2020  .0675mgai 9AM, .0675 3PM, .305 mgai 9PM Total: .440mgai 31 March 2020 .065mgai 9AM,  .065mgai 3PM, .2925mgai 10PM, Total: 4225mgai  30 April 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM, .2775mgai 10PM  Total: .4025mgai 31 May 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625 mgai 3PM, .2526 mgai 10PM, Total: .3775mgai  30 June 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM  .2175 mgai 10PM Total .3425mgai.   31 July 2020 .0575 mgai 9AM .0550 mgai 3PM .180mgai 10PM Total .2925mgai  31 August 2020 .0475mgai 9AM, 0.045mgai 3PM, .01475mgai 10PM Total: .2375mgai  30 September 2020 0.0375mgai 9AM 0.035mgai 3PM 0.110mgai 10PM  Total: .1825mgai 31 October 2020 .0325mgai 9AM .0350mgai 3PM  .0725mgai 9PM

Total: .14mgai  30 Nov. 2020 .03mgai 9AM  .0276mgai 3PM 0.450mgai 9PM Total: .1025mgai 31 Dec. 2020 .02mgai 9AM .02mgai 3PM .02mgai 9PM Total: .06mgai  5 February, 2021 .0150mgai Stepped off of Clonzapam, Benzo Free

 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs,  Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Magnesium Glycinate

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5 hours ago, Bayboy said:

ADMIN NOTE Bayboy's Introduction topic is here.

 

Hi, 

 

Its been a year since I jumped, so I thought I'd return and quickly leave an encouraging note of success and healing.  In 2014, I came to this site in distress and looking for answers after horrible withdrawal from discontinuing a benzo, and subsequently trying to escape from the clutches of mirtazapine used to mask that withdrawal.  I was desperate and running out of options as conventional medicine was offering me no relief.  I experienced many of the symptoms discussed on this forum throughout my journey, but these began to dissipate as I SLOWED down and understood it is a process and not a quick fix.  It was, and remains a spiritual journey, and like all real meaningful healing, these things take time.  Once I accepted that and listened to my body, I began to own it and no longer cared how long it took.

 

I won't get into too many specific symptoms but I know sleep is a significant concern for many, as it was for me.  Although, I still get the odd night of broken or shortened sleep, for the most part, it has normalized.  If I wake up in the middle night, I don't really mind, I relax and drift off again eventually.  The cortisol rushes that so many of us experienced or still do, completely resolved and have never returned.  As my CNS began to recover, so many things improved that I lost count.

 

A very special thank you to the members and moderators that I connected with at that time.  I am so very grateful, you have all literally saved my life.  Dave10, Rhi, Wulfgar, dalsaan, mamma P, to name a few off the top of my head, these people were absolute beacons of light and hope.  As I learned to navigate this forum and extract meaningful tools and hacks, I could mitigate a lot of the symptoms.  It is because of the people behind the monikers that I can sit her confidently and write that I have healed from the experience and happily live drug-free.   As we know, life continues to throw curveballs at all of us, but I deal with it much differently now.  Of course I wish it never happened, but in some strange way, I have grown exponentially from it.

 

Finally, thank you Alto.  Without you, this beautiful community would not have been established and I'd still be stuck in some conventional medicine's world of quick fixes and broken promises.  I have and will continue to pay it forward, as I offer assistance where I can to those facing similar experiences in my own community.

 

Wherever you are in your journey, continue to remind yourself that anyone who has healed from the harm these drugs can cause started out just like you.

 

Take Care - I will check in a few times in case anyone has any questions

 

BB

 

 

Congratulations Bay Boy! Wishing you all the best in your future! Have all your WDS symptoms subsided?

Take care, Hopefull.

DRUG HISTORY:

 

November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction).

January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey).

January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering.

October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg.

September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed.

September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised.

February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. :(

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Thanks for the well wishes,

 

Mirage - It appears as if you are doing everything right, keep going.  In terms of healing in my particular case, symptom improvement began while I was still on mirtazapine, because I went very slowly and held in between for extended periods when required.  That's how I knew, I was doing things right.  By the time I jumped, most things had resolved already.  But every month that passes, I can say that my CNS continues to settle down.  An example would be my inability to watch stimulating movies and shows when I first hopped off, that took about 6 months to resolve, but I can now.  Hope that helps.

 

Hopefull - Nice to hear from you again!  I hope things are progressing for you.  In terms of symptoms, I still need to work on sleep a little more and I have a strict routine built around that but I'm not complaining, its pretty good.  The only remaining symptom which I know started when I CT'd the benzo is the eye floaters.  But interestingly, they have either started to dissipate or I hardly notice them as much, they are a non issue.  Unless..., because I know they are tied into cortisol, if I experience a stressor or a poor night of sleep, they are more pronounced for sure.  That's it, everything else is mostly gone.  Some people can return to pre-withdrawal baseline in terms of lifestyle, but I have a built a strict template around lifestyle, nutrition and sleep and adhere to it, because it helped me so much during WD.  But, I am so comfortable now in that space that I would never return to my previous bad habits.  If I do slip up with too much caffeine, alcohol, stay up too late, poor food choices etc., believe me, at this point, it is still self-correcting.  A reminder that I still have work to do.  Hope that makes sense.

 

BB

<p>Dec 2012 - Some benzo's, some AD's for PTSD induced anxiety and insomnia

August 2013 - things go south with benzo (Klonipin), tolerance withdrawal, REALLY SICK, AD's (effexor/citalopram) added for "reset"!?!?, EVEN SICKER

Dec 2013 - RESEARCH begins…located Ashton manual (first breakthrough), my A-HA moment = benzo + too fast WD of other meds caused this mess...

Jan 2014 - convinced to take Mirtazapine 15-30 mg to help with Klonipin/ temazepam/ Citalopram taper, hit with wd symptoms but powered through

Feb 2014- stopped Klonopinipin (too quick taper but was destroying CNS) -, more wd symptoms but masked by Mirtazapine

March 2014 - silly ct attempt of 30mg Mirt , HORRIBLE hwd, no sleep, lasted 1 month, found this site (second breakthrough), armed with new knowledge, began proper slow taper of Mirtazapine and doing exponentially better, roughly 10% of each dose, and some long holds!

April 2014 - reinstate 7.5 mg Mirt, (30 day hold then slow taper for rest of year, took months to stabilize)

Jan 2015 - 3 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2016 - 1.87 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2017 - 0.37 mg (slow taper continues)

Aug 27, 2017 - 0 mg (JUMPED from 0.12 mg) - DRUG FREE!

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@Bayboy Thank you for answering me. I truly appreciate that. 

 

I am holding at 150xl of Wellbutrin until I get stable. I was on 30mgs Remeron and 300xl Wellbutrin. I weaned completely off the Remeron and from the 300 to 150 on the Wellbutrin. I, originally, ct 300xl Wellbutrin in June of 2017. That is when my journey began. My dr reinstated the Wellbutrin at 150xl but when that wasn't working, we added the Remeron and increased the Wellbutrin. Nothing was working. After finding SA, I realized my cns has already been compromised and the meds were making things worse. That is when I decided to wean. My symptoms are rough so I decided to hold here until I can get things balanced and then I will start over and go very slow. 

 

I know healing is taking place. I am remaining faithful and positive and you coming back to share your journey, is uplifting. Just can not thank you enough. 

 

 

Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017

Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017

Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017

Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018

Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018

Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018

Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018

Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone,

Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone 

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11 hours ago, mirage said:

@Bayboy Thank you for answering me. I truly appreciate that. 

 

I am holding at 150xl of Wellbutrin until I get stable. I was on 30mgs Remeron and 300xl Wellbutrin. I weaned completely off the Remeron and from the 300 to 150 on the Wellbutrin. I, originally, ct 300xl Wellbutrin in June of 2017. That is when my journey began. My dr reinstated the Wellbutrin at 150xl but when that wasn't working, we added the Remeron and increased the Wellbutrin. Nothing was working. After finding SA, I realized my cns has already been compromised and the meds were making things worse. That is when I decided to wean. My symptoms are rough so I decided to hold here until I can get things balanced and then I will start over and go very slow. 

 

I know healing is taking place. I am remaining faithful and positive and you coming back to share your journey, is uplifting. Just can not thank you enough. 

 

 

Mirage did you not cold turkey 

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I did cold turkey in June of 2017. Was on Wellbutrin 300xl for 8 years. In July of 2017, my dr reinstated the med at the dose of 150xl. That wasn't working so it was increased back to 300 and another med, Remeron, was brought in. Nothing was working, of course. I was already too far into withdrawal. The meds were making things worse. 

 

I started weaning from the Remeron and completely got off of that and weaned from the Wellbutrin 300xl. I got to 150 and I am staying there to stabilize. My body is just too upside down to keep going. Both weans were too fast. I was already in withdrawal when I started the weans and things just kept getting worse. Once I get back to a balanced state, then I will continue and complete the wean. 

Started Wellbutrin 300xl mid July, 2009. Stopped Wellbutrin 300xl cold turkey May 8, 2017

Started having symptoms started June 2, 2017. Started Wellbutrin 150xl July 7, 2017

Started Remeron 15mg August 15, 2017. Increased Remeron to 30mg October 4, 2017

Increased Wellbutrin to 300xl November 24, 2017. Lowered Wellbutrin 300xl back to 150xl January 8, 2018

Started weaning off of Remeron 30mg. Cut to 22.25mg January 11, 2018

Cut Remeron to 15mg January 18, 2018 Cut Remeron to 7.5mg January 25, 2018

Cut Remeron to 3.5mg January 30,2018. Stopped taking Remeron February 1, 2018

Currently taking: Fish Oil, Magnesium, Calcium, Vit D, Progesterone,

Hormone Replacement Pellets-Estrogen Testosterone 

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did  you exercise ?  

buspar  7/16 to 4/17  does  45 mg, 30 mg , 15mg then 60 mg  stopped did not like the side effects  tapered 

paxil    10 mg 10 /16  11 / 16 bad reaction  stopped  

xanax  .25 mg as needed   10 /16  30 days  only stopped 

ativan  1/17 1 mg 30 days supply  tapper off   the best i could  1/16/18  stopped 
prozac  4/16 to  1/17    20 mg start   then 6 months 40 mgs then down  10/17 to 20 mgs   off 2/17 bad reaction  stopped 

 klonopin  .5  three daily   as needed  took .5 for 30 days when getting   on Prozac 5/1/17 stopped   then started again  1/2/18 to 4/10 stopped by tapering over 30 days down to .125 a day. though time, but  better now stopped 

Mertizipine   11/16 to present started 15 mg  at 7.5 mg  4/17 to  7/18 ,  7/4/18   3.5 mg  skipping does  the plan was to go off it while on  Prozac  but  it never worked    back on 7.5 mg 

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Thank you so much Bayboy for coming back and sharing !  You are an excellent writer and it was a pleasure to read your inspirational story.

Dec 1, 2016. 10 mg zyprexa for 1.5 month. Started taper mid-Jan. 2017. Cut 1.25 mg every 2 weeks; smaller cuts 2.5 mg down. Stopped at .6 mg. May 7, 2017: zyprexa free. 
Zoloft: Dec1, 2016, 200 mg. Started taper: Jun12, 2017: 197.5 mg; Jun19,:195 mg; July 2:185mg; July 9,:180 mg; July16,: 175; July 23: 170; July 30: 165; Aug6: 160; Aug13: 155; Aug. 20: 150; Aug.27: 146 mg; Sept3: 145 mg; Sept10:143 mg; Sept17:140 mg....Nov5: 122 mg...Dec3:112.5 mg; Jan14, 2018: 95 mg...Jan28: 90 mg; Feb21:80 mg; Mar11: 75 mg; May2:70 mg; May15: 68 mg; May28: 65 mg; Jun9: 62 mg;Jun25: 60 mg:July22: 55 mg; Aug25: 45 mg. Aug28: 50 mg...Oct 28: 38 mg; Dec.4: 30 mg; Jan8,2019: 25mg; Feb6: 23.5 mg; Apr1:17.5mg; May1:1 mg; May 5: 18;  May 18:15mg; June 16:12.5mg; Sept 10:11 mg; Sept.16:10 mg; Oct. 1: 9mg; Nov. 27: 8mg; Dec.5: 7mg; Jan.1,2020, 6 mg; Feb1: 5 mg; May 1: 2.5 mg; Jn 1: 2 mg; Jy 1: 1.5 mg
Spreadsheet: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1pw4tjImAJ92OIVyRvZoZYjqxiKMk7wvp-ljiIi1olRo/edit#gid=0

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Hi Batboy,  

 

What did your pattern of holding look like?  

 

Right now I am trying to stabilize after a cut in June and while it was okay at first with a string of okay days, it now is one day okay, one day horrible.  

I've also had to major stressors in the past two months, which have affected me greatly.  

 

Did you have times of quicker windows and waves in your holds?  

 

Hibari. 

 Sept 2013-Apr 2014:  After death of my mom put on as series of meds. Zoloft 6 days, Lexapro1 day, Nortriptyline 10 days, Liquid Prozac 1 week, Cymbalta 1 week.

Got off Clonzapam: 1/2014-9/2014. After given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs

Completed Remeron taper: 41.25 -0.025mgs  1/2015-4 2017. 

Completed Lamictal Taper: 200mgs-0.05 mgs 7/ 2015-11/2018. 

Clonazapam  December 2018. 0.625 Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping and not thinking straight. 28 March, 2019  4% taper Total: .625mgai   26 May, 2019  4% taper Total: .575 mgai,   24 June, 2019 2.5 % taper  10 Clonzapam tablets weigh1.999 mgpw  Average  200 mgpw.  0.0073mgai 9AM, 0.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai, Total: 561mgai,  10 July, 2019 (Compounded pills) .0073mgai 9AM,.0073mgai 3PM, .415mgai,

Total .561mgai   26 August, 2019 (Back to regular pills due to bad reaction) .0078mgai 9AM, .01075mgai 3PM, .360mgai PM, Total: .545mgai   26 Sept. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .1mgai 3PM, 0.350mgai PM: Total: .5275mgai   31 Oct, 2019 .0750mgai 9AM, .0925mgai 3PM, 0.340mgai 930PM, Total: .5075mgai,   30 Nov. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM, .0825mgai 3PM, .3325mgai 9:30PM, Total:.490mgai   31 Dec. 2019 .0775mgai 9AM,  .080mgai 3PM, .3225mgai 9:30PM,  Total: .4775mgai   31 Jan. 2020 .0725mgai 9AM, .0750mgai 3pm, .315mgai 9:30PM, Total: .4625mgai    29 Feb. 2020  .0675mgai 9AM, .0675 3PM, .305 mgai 9PM Total: .440mgai 31 March 2020 .065mgai 9AM,  .065mgai 3PM, .2925mgai 10PM, Total: 4225mgai  30 April 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM, .2775mgai 10PM  Total: .4025mgai 31 May 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625 mgai 3PM, .2526 mgai 10PM, Total: .3775mgai  30 June 2020 .0625mgai 9AM, .0625mgai 3PM  .2175 mgai 10PM Total .3425mgai.   31 July 2020 .0575 mgai 9AM .0550 mgai 3PM .180mgai 10PM Total .2925mgai  31 August 2020 .0475mgai 9AM, 0.045mgai 3PM, .01475mgai 10PM Total: .2375mgai  30 September 2020 0.0375mgai 9AM 0.035mgai 3PM 0.110mgai 10PM  Total: .1825mgai 31 October 2020 .0325mgai 9AM .0350mgai 3PM  .0725mgai 9PM

Total: .14mgai  30 Nov. 2020 .03mgai 9AM  .0276mgai 3PM 0.450mgai 9PM Total: .1025mgai 31 Dec. 2020 .02mgai 9AM .02mgai 3PM .02mgai 9PM Total: .06mgai  5 February, 2021 .0150mgai Stepped off of Clonzapam, Benzo Free

 

Additional Support:  Armour Thyroid 75mgs,  Vitamin D, Vitamin C, Magnesium Glycinate

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I am  in the same boat  as you just got out off.  I got off   K   five months ago  and  basically c/t off with fast taper it was a tapper. just recently i tried to get of  mert. got down  3.75  mg fast taper over  6 weeks   and crashed went back  7.5 mg my original does I am back 7.5 mg week now  thing at stabilizing . can you give tips how you tapered off  mert  dry cut  and or home made liquid what to look for.

things you did keep clam   and  keep a positive spin . 

buspar  7/16 to 4/17  does  45 mg, 30 mg , 15mg then 60 mg  stopped did not like the side effects  tapered 

paxil    10 mg 10 /16  11 / 16 bad reaction  stopped  

xanax  .25 mg as needed   10 /16  30 days  only stopped 

ativan  1/17 1 mg 30 days supply  tapper off   the best i could  1/16/18  stopped 
prozac  4/16 to  1/17    20 mg start   then 6 months 40 mgs then down  10/17 to 20 mgs   off 2/17 bad reaction  stopped 

 klonopin  .5  three daily   as needed  took .5 for 30 days when getting   on Prozac 5/1/17 stopped   then started again  1/2/18 to 4/10 stopped by tapering over 30 days down to .125 a day. though time, but  better now stopped 

Mertizipine   11/16 to present started 15 mg  at 7.5 mg  4/17 to  7/18 ,  7/4/18   3.5 mg  skipping does  the plan was to go off it while on  Prozac  but  it never worked    back on 7.5 mg 

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Congratulations Bayboy! Sounds like going slowly and taking long holds worked well for you. How are  you doing with regards to the histamine issue?

Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission.

Current Medications:

Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium. What has helped me most: qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats..

My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282

Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself.

 

“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.”
Mary Oliver
 

 

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Bayboy,

 

Thank you for sharing this update about your success and recovery.    Your words are an encouragement.  

 

I'm finding that Mirtazapine is quite a challenge to come off of.   When I slow my taper down and listen to my body and symptoms things do get much better.

 

God bless you!

2010:  Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg.   Mirtazapine (Remeron) 15 mg. 

2011:    Tapered Mirtazapine: 5 month successful taper.  Then tapered Lexapro:  4 month successful taper

May 2011 to August 2017:   No medications, full recovery

September 6, 2017:  started Mirtazapine (Remeron) 15 mg  - due to severe sudden insomnia (I believe caused by statin use)

November 16, 2017:   started Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg

January 1, 2018 to October 30. 2020 -- 34 month taper off of Mirtazapine 15 mg to 0.00 mg

June 16, 2018:  Started slow taper of 10 mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)

Current (mgai):    1.31 mg  Escitalopram

Supplements:  Fish Oil, Curcumin, bio active B vitamins, zinc, magnesium glycinate, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, saffron, citrus bergamot

 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34

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Hi,

 

Just stopping by to quickly answer some great questions.  I hope I didn't miss anyone.  After I jumped off, yes the histamine issues did correct themselves within a short time frame (thanks for asking Freespirit).

 

As far as holding/ tapering patterns, if you look at my signature, it basically took me just over 3 years to get off 7.5 mg of Mirt after I was stable enough to even begin.  I would generally follow a 6 week pattern before I reduced by roughly 10%, but if I still had symptoms (mainly cortisol and sleep issues), I didn't budge.  My longest hold was 4 months, but , I finally stabilized and resumed the taper.  I was worried that I would never stabilize but it did eventually happen and I knew healing was happening (thanks Hibari)

 

Finally, by taking the 3 years and a bit to jump off safely from a smallish dose, I could function relatively normally and keep the "positive spin" on things.  I knew I was going to make it, if I stayed the course.

 

Thanks PH1 for your kind message.  All the best to you, you will make it.

 

BB 

<p>Dec 2012 - Some benzo's, some AD's for PTSD induced anxiety and insomnia

August 2013 - things go south with benzo (Klonipin), tolerance withdrawal, REALLY SICK, AD's (effexor/citalopram) added for "reset"!?!?, EVEN SICKER

Dec 2013 - RESEARCH begins…located Ashton manual (first breakthrough), my A-HA moment = benzo + too fast WD of other meds caused this mess...

Jan 2014 - convinced to take Mirtazapine 15-30 mg to help with Klonipin/ temazepam/ Citalopram taper, hit with wd symptoms but powered through

Feb 2014- stopped Klonopinipin (too quick taper but was destroying CNS) -, more wd symptoms but masked by Mirtazapine

March 2014 - silly ct attempt of 30mg Mirt , HORRIBLE hwd, no sleep, lasted 1 month, found this site (second breakthrough), armed with new knowledge, began proper slow taper of Mirtazapine and doing exponentially better, roughly 10% of each dose, and some long holds!

April 2014 - reinstate 7.5 mg Mirt, (30 day hold then slow taper for rest of year, took months to stabilize)

Jan 2015 - 3 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2016 - 1.87 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2017 - 0.37 mg (slow taper continues)

Aug 27, 2017 - 0 mg (JUMPED from 0.12 mg) - DRUG FREE!

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I did a slow taper off abilify. I have been off of this awful drug for 8 weeks. I started having sinus problems and excessive burping at about 5 weeks. Can this be a side effect of weaning off the abilify? Has anyone experienced any of this symptoms? 

Lexapro 2m Feb 2000

Ambien cr 6.5 April 2006

Abilify March 2016

Abilify taper started Feb 5 2018 

started taper at 1.5  now at 1

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  • 2 months later...

Congratulations, Bayboy, on getting off of Mirtazapine!    I really enjoy reading your posts.  Thanks for sharing your journey.    I tend to want to go faster than I should, which I know is a common temptation.    Your experience in taking it very slowly at the lower doses has been very helpful and a good reminder for me and I expect for many others.    It's amazing how powerful these drugs are and how they affect us even at such low doses.    Hope all is well with you.

2010:  Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg.   Mirtazapine (Remeron) 15 mg. 

2011:    Tapered Mirtazapine: 5 month successful taper.  Then tapered Lexapro:  4 month successful taper

May 2011 to August 2017:   No medications, full recovery

September 6, 2017:  started Mirtazapine (Remeron) 15 mg  - due to severe sudden insomnia (I believe caused by statin use)

November 16, 2017:   started Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg

January 1, 2018 to October 30. 2020 -- 34 month taper off of Mirtazapine 15 mg to 0.00 mg

June 16, 2018:  Started slow taper of 10 mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)

Current (mgai):    1.31 mg  Escitalopram

Supplements:  Fish Oil, Curcumin, bio active B vitamins, zinc, magnesium glycinate, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, saffron, citrus bergamot

 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34

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  • 1 month later...
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi there,

 

The staff at SA are wondering how you are.  We'd love to hear how you are doing now.   Would you mind dropping by and giving an update?

 

Thanks.

CC

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from July 2021:  Pristiq 0.13mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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CC,

 

Everything is fine, thank you.  Still drug free, roughly 1.5 years now.  The late fall and winter are always challenging, but it went well for the most part with a few "bio hacks" here and there.  Sleep is better but not where I'd like it to be, but, I continue to work on that, go to bed early, sleep 7-8 hours and feel rested most days.  Like most, I do well when I mitigate a compromised CNS, through diet (low carb), careful exercise, meditation, etc.  

 

Truthfully, I can't believe how well I am doing considering what I experienced, but like many others, I can't slide on following a very healthy lifestyle or I'll feel things start to creep back in.  As much as I hated having to endure it, I have used the experience for the best and find myself in a position to help others who are trying to heal or recover from a health crisis.  

 

Take care, and I'll update again at some point.

 

BB

<p>Dec 2012 - Some benzo's, some AD's for PTSD induced anxiety and insomnia

August 2013 - things go south with benzo (Klonipin), tolerance withdrawal, REALLY SICK, AD's (effexor/citalopram) added for "reset"!?!?, EVEN SICKER

Dec 2013 - RESEARCH begins…located Ashton manual (first breakthrough), my A-HA moment = benzo + too fast WD of other meds caused this mess...

Jan 2014 - convinced to take Mirtazapine 15-30 mg to help with Klonipin/ temazepam/ Citalopram taper, hit with wd symptoms but powered through

Feb 2014- stopped Klonopinipin (too quick taper but was destroying CNS) -, more wd symptoms but masked by Mirtazapine

March 2014 - silly ct attempt of 30mg Mirt , HORRIBLE hwd, no sleep, lasted 1 month, found this site (second breakthrough), armed with new knowledge, began proper slow taper of Mirtazapine and doing exponentially better, roughly 10% of each dose, and some long holds!

April 2014 - reinstate 7.5 mg Mirt, (30 day hold then slow taper for rest of year, took months to stabilize)

Jan 2015 - 3 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2016 - 1.87 mg (slow taper for rest of year)

Jan 2017 - 0.37 mg (slow taper continues)

Aug 27, 2017 - 0 mg (JUMPED from 0.12 mg) - DRUG FREE!

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi bayboy, I'm pleased that things are going well for you.  Thank you for updating.

 

2 hours ago, Bayboy said:

I'll update again at some point.

 

Yes, this will be very much appreciated.  Thank you.

NEW!!!     INTERVIEW with Altostrata, SA's founder    NEW!!! 

 

Plodding along inch by inch:  12" = 1',  3' =  36 " or 1 yard,  1760 yards  = 63,360" or 1 mile

Current from July 2021:  Pristiq 0.13mg

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering Oct 2015 

My tapering program   My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)  My website

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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  • 1 month later...

Was looking for a beacon of hope ....i fast tapered Sertraline 11 months ago but for the past five weeks have been taking 15mg Mirtazapine....did it help you how long were you on it and why did you come off ...thank you in advance..

Jan 2016 SertralineJuly 2016 stopped

Feb 2017 sertraline 50mg

Aug 2017 Sertraline 150mg

Sep 2017 Sertraline 100mg

Nov 2017 Sertraline 50mg 

Feb 2018 Sertraline 25mg

March 2018 Sertraline 12.5 mg 

April 0mg  5mg Diazepam  dec 2018 very infrequent  24 oct 5mg felopidine 

Dec 2.5mg felopidine feb 19 5mg felopidine 

jan 2019 mirtazapine 15mg  reduced to 7.5mg stopped 3 may 19 .4 may 19 citalopram 20mg stopped 12 june .2mg Diazepam as and when needed .omega 3 

 

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  • 6 months later...

How’s it going Bayboy?  Hope all is well.

2010:  Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg.   Mirtazapine (Remeron) 15 mg. 

2011:    Tapered Mirtazapine: 5 month successful taper.  Then tapered Lexapro:  4 month successful taper

May 2011 to August 2017:   No medications, full recovery

September 6, 2017:  started Mirtazapine (Remeron) 15 mg  - due to severe sudden insomnia (I believe caused by statin use)

November 16, 2017:   started Escitalopram (Lexapro) 10 mg

January 1, 2018 to October 30. 2020 -- 34 month taper off of Mirtazapine 15 mg to 0.00 mg

June 16, 2018:  Started slow taper of 10 mg Escitalopram (Lexapro)

Current (mgai):    1.31 mg  Escitalopram

Supplements:  Fish Oil, Curcumin, bio active B vitamins, zinc, magnesium glycinate, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, saffron, citrus bergamot

 

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."  Matthew 6:34

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