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Mac2018: Trying to heal without meds


Mac2018

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Hi - I am new posting and wanted to ask if there are many members that were given antidepressants for clinical depression and were able to get off and heal.  

 

My first depressive episode was when I was a teenager. I had no idea what was wrong with me but I was able to work my way out of it .

 

10 years later I had 2 small children and had a full blown anxiety attack with intrusive thoughts which sent me into a deep and horrible clinical depression. I was given Zoloft and fortunately it worked very well.  I was told I would need this for the rest of my life.  I had endured a horrible abusive Childhood and I never put the breakdown together with my past.  9 years later the med stoppped working and I could not tolerate it. I was given Ativan and that helped somewhat.  I eventually found out I had thyroid disease.  I was put back on Zoloft and also thyroid meds. It took a long tine but I did get better. I weaned off the Ativan and got my life back but I was never 100%. I guess I would describe that I didn’t have great sense of well being , but i def wasn’t depressed or anxious and I slept well and loved life but I just wasn’t totally 100%. I was also still foggy which I attributed to the thyroid disease .

 

Then 6 years later same thing happened again. The Zoloft stopped working and i couldn’t tolerate it.  Had to get off of it again and got back on Ativan.  Since that time I have been on Ativan and it’s been almost 4 years.  I went tolerant on the Ativan and have started tapering 6 months ago. I have most likely another 8 months of tapering.  I am in cbt therapy , accupuncture and I am trying to do all that I can to stay stable. I have exercise intolerance due to the heart issues that have come up with the tolerance to Ativan. It has been a nightmare.  And It’s been 4 years since I have taken an antidepressant. 

 

My question is has anyone had similar circumstances where an antidepressant did work for them at one time. And then stopped. And also has anyone healed without meds ?? I cannot tolerate them now. At all.  I know I have a lot of healing from the past and into adult life but I am scared. I have taken psych meds for 25 years. My hope and prayer is that I can heal and be my authentic self without them.  Thank you in advance for any suggestions and for anyone who may share their experience.  

Zoloft 100 mg. 1995-2004. Stopped working became sensitive to it . Was extremely depressed 

Ativan 1 1/2 mg 2004-2008 weaned off with no problem 

Zoloft 100mg - 2005-2014. Stopped working again , became extremely depressed. Could not tolerate it anymore . 

Ativan - 2014 to current.  2 mg. Went tolerant in 2017. Started taper in March 2018. Am currently down to 1 1/4mg. 

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  • ChessieCat changed the title to Mac2018: Trying to heal without meds
  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello Mac, and welcome to SA.

 

The answer is yes, people are healing all the time from these drugs. Even people who have taken them 20+ years. 

 

Almost invariably, there are circumstances leading to psychiatric diagnoses that are more related to situations, nutrition, stress, etc., rather than any underlying "chemical imbalance" or organic brain dysfunction. Of course, it's up to each individual to work that all out! But the overwhelming theme is one of hope.

 

It's great that you are in CBT therapy (cognitive-behavioral, in case anyone is reading who isn't familiar with it) and doing things to try to stabilize your nervous system. You've certainly been through the wringer with psych drugs, and you are in good company here.

 

A word about acupuncture: make sure you tell them that your nervous system is destabilized, and make sure you don't receive a "detox" or stimulating treatment.

 

There are many stories of healing in our Success Stories section. 

 

At what rate are you decreasing the Ativan?

Can you tell us a bit more about yourself and your history by creating a signature using these instructions: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/18343-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Current: 2019: 0.04 mg Paxil!! This is real. Soon, after taking Paxil my entire adult life, I will be free.

Long story short: After 18 years on Paxil, "tapered" almost completely off over a month, at doctor's advice in July 2015.

Self-care includes magnesium, reasonable exercise, mindfulness, this forum and nutrition/eating enough food.

Also on 100 mg Zoloft unfortunately!! (which I now will have the knowledge to taper properly)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Longer version: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety & depression caused by (undiagnosed) under-eating / eating disorder.

Doctor kept increasing dose, up to 60 mg; it never really helped but said it really was the best "med" for me.

Rapid doctor-led "taper" July 2015, down to 5 mg, with Zoloft as a "cross-taper" = Essentially a cold turkey. 

Severe withdrawal but didn't know it; believed it was my "underlying condition," and kept tapering, 5mg to 4 to 3  to 2 to 1.  

Feb 2016: Found SA! As of June 2016, tapering from 1mg at rate of 5-10% per month, Brassmonkey Slide! 

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Thank you for the reply. I added my information to the signature.  

 

Yes my accupuncture doctor is very aware of what’s going on. Also my thyroid doctor and is very supportive and helpful during this Ativan taper. 

 

I am hoping some other members will share their experiences with becoming med free after so long.  Also I am almost halfway through my Ativan taper. It has been extremely hard. I have had so so many different side effects. Even some heart related that I see a heart specialist .  I did not have any of these issues until going tolerant. I am exercise intolerant since tapering. It’s very stressful and disheartening. I am still trying to walk everyday.  Some days depression is very hard. I am thankful that I haven’t been on ad’s for 4 years so I don’t have the stress of having to taper those as wel. Thank you in advance  to anyone who can share your experiences. 

Zoloft 100 mg. 1995-2004. Stopped working became sensitive to it . Was extremely depressed 

Ativan 1 1/2 mg 2004-2008 weaned off with no problem 

Zoloft 100mg - 2005-2014. Stopped working again , became extremely depressed. Could not tolerate it anymore . 

Ativan - 2014 to current.  2 mg. Went tolerant in 2017. Started taper in March 2018. Am currently down to 1 1/4mg. 

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I was wondering if a moderator will review all posts and if so how long does this take ?  I was hoping for more responses. Not sure if I’m not posting correctly.  Thank you for any help. 

Zoloft 100 mg. 1995-2004. Stopped working became sensitive to it . Was extremely depressed 

Ativan 1 1/2 mg 2004-2008 weaned off with no problem 

Zoloft 100mg - 2005-2014. Stopped working again , became extremely depressed. Could not tolerate it anymore . 

Ativan - 2014 to current.  2 mg. Went tolerant in 2017. Started taper in March 2018. Am currently down to 1 1/4mg. 

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