WarriorWomanLV: Lexapro withdrawal symptoms shows up 6 weeks later

[WarriorWomanLV]

Hi all, I thought I'd give an update, but first a quick recap:
 

About 6 weeks after my last dose of Lexapro, I had to get teeth extracted for my braces.  I was given anesthesia, then amoxicillin, had a severe rash from the amoxicillin (even though I wasn't allergic to it before), then given a steroid shot to treat the rash.  I had no indication that I was in withdrawal prior to these events so I didn't realize what had hit me until it hit me... and hard.  I reinstated a tiny dose in October 13 and currently on .30mg. 

Anyway, it's been about a month and half since i reinstated. I'm glad it went well because after reading many stories on reinstatement, things can get really bad.  Reinstatement brought me from a level 10 (10 being the worst) to a level 8.  The first 4 weeks of reinstatement, the improvements were noticeable. Everyday it seemed that my anxiety went down from level 8 down to 6, 3, 1...and i even noticed it at its dullest (i once rated my anxiety as level .25).  Funny thing is, no matter how dull the anxiety is, it still is the most uncomfortable thing in the world. The improvements aren't exactly linear either. i have an ok-day then bad-day pattern. THEN, here's the kicker.... i get panic attacks every Mondays or Tuesdays. The panic attack symptoms are: electricity on my arms, feeling weak, hard to breath, feeling that I'm going to faint and thirsty.  Each week these panic attacks have been milder and milder.  In fact i keep thinking to myself, "Well, since this once felt so mild, surely next Monday, I won't feel it anymore!" Nope.  I feel everything even at the dullest.  For example: week 1's panic attack was an all day horrendous event, week 7 felt like i was fatigued, weak, and my arms go numb, but i can manage to walk around the store. My theory is that it's actually not withdrawal that I'm experiencing.  It's the steroid shot that's being released out of my system each week and I'm so sensitive from being in withdrawal that I can actually feel it! I think the steroid shot has actually left my system by now, because i have finally gotten my normal period since the i got the steroid shot. And when i did get my period, the anxiety was so bad it brought me back to acute days, but maybe just a degree milder. As my period decreases, my windows are also getting better.  In fact, I have many "ok" days... not necessarily feeling bad, but days where my bouts of anxiety or depression last about an hour or two. I think the thing that's making this really hard for me is that in this whole withdrawal process, i have used my parents as my crutch.  I am afraid to be in my own home with my husband and son, because i get so much comfort being under my parents care... especially with cooking food. I have never been a good cook and always either bought food or if i did cook, i had to use recipes.  Since one of my symptoms is hypoglycemia, i constantly need to eat every 4 hours.  They also drive me around to wherever i need to go.  Although, I've been able to drive many times, most of those times, it gives me so much anxiety to do so.  I realize at this point, I just need to accept my situation and allow the assistance that I'm lucky enough to get.  I sure do hope that over the course of the next few months, my symptoms will subside enough to allow me a bit of courage to at least drive around or be comfortable enough in my own home.  I seriously have so much respect for people going through this and still working, living alone or having to take care of their kids!!!  

Also, I am still wondering when i can start tapering the .30mg in my system?  I know i have to wait to "stabilize", but what exactly does stabilize mean, because to me that means feel normal, and I don't think that's happening until after I completely come off this drug.  Any suggestions?  

[ChessieCat]

8 minutes ago, WarriorWomanLV said:

i get panic attacks every Mondays or Tuesdays. 

 

If you follow a routine and do the same thing every Monday and Tuesday then I think it would be anticipatory anxiety causing this. 

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)
 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes
 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

 

These sites have some good stuff:

 

https://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/looking-after-yourself

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/anxiety.htm

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/socialanxiety.htm

 

13 minutes ago, WarriorWomanLV said:

but what exactly does stabilize mean

 

Withdrawal Normal

[WarriorWomanLV]

Thank you so much, CC! Reading the Withdrawal Normal entry by Brassmonkey is very helpful. After reading his journals, I've been inspired by his attitude. He continued with his life even as far as traveling out of the country while tapering and in withdrawal. I'm trying my hardest to work on acceptance and continue with my daily tasks.  It's very hard.  I know I'll heal one day. I'll keep on fighting!

[brassmonkey]

Hi WWLV-- with the underlying attitude I see in your posts you'll have no trouble healing.  It's going to be a long bumpy ride, it is for everyone, but you'll make it fine.  Because you have a very fast taper just a few months behind you it's going to take some time for your body adjust and heal so it can stabilize.  The small reinstatement looks like it is taking the edge off of the symptoms, which will really help.  One of the hardest adjustments we have to make is giving in and accepting the help that comes our way.  We are all fighting so hard to survive that it becomes quite hard to "give up" the small amount it takes to accept the support. But that is exactly what we need to do.

 

ADWD is a very selfish process.  A person is the only one who is experiencing what they are going through and has to make adjustments to their life to accommodate what needs to be done.  With luck their support group understands this and can be tolerant of those adjustments.  Communications with ones support is key to keeping the peace, as is letting them know how much their support is appreciated.

 

As you've already noted, acceptance and distraction (daily routine) are very important to the healing process.  I always pushed as much as I could and when ever possible pushed a bit more just to maintain that routine.  I found it very important to not become my WD, but rather keep it as something I had to do while I maintained as much of my life as possible.  I think that is a key that many people overlook; "I am withdrawing from ADs while continuing to live, not withdrawing from ADs is my life". It can get very hard at times and the WD will get the upper hand, but those waves will burn out and you'll be back in control once again.

 

For hypoglycemia, rainbow trail mix is your friend. And even my wife, who teaches cooking, uses recipe cards.

 

Brassmonkey

[Miracle123]

On 12/1/2018 at 1:19 PM, WarriorWomanLV said:

About 6 weeks after my last dose of Lexapro, I had to get teeth extracted for my braces.  I was given anesthesia, then amoxicillin, had a severe rash from the amoxicillin (even though I wasn't allergic to it before), then given a steroid shot to treat the rash.  I had no indication that I was in withdrawal prior to these events so I didn't realize what had hit me until it hit me... and hard.  I reinstated a tiny dose in October 13 and currently on .30mg. 

Hi Warrior , Thanks for coming into my threat. Even myself 14 months off of lexapro im still hit with hard waves just one tetanus injection. im couldnt believe that and feel terrible. im agreed with you that our CNS is really super sensitive to everything. im hope you will take more caution when trying anything new or take small dose to see how your body reaction. We mostly here trial error and learn from our mistake. Wishing you well and good in your recovery and healing. Take care. Warmest hugs.🤗

[WarriorWomanLV]

Hi all and thank you for your messages on my thread. You're all very inspiring to me. All the suffering we're going through yet you all still go out of your way to help others. 

 

Just an update: it seems that my high anxiety has lifted for now. The only thing I've done different is that I've been eating every 3 hours. I also make it a goal to finish my plate within 15 - 20 mins. I've been losing a lot of weight. I've always been skinny and i continue dropping weight which is scary. Even as i eat every 3 hrs, I'm losing weight.... but it seems to "feed" my anxiety. Ever since i started doing this i experienced a 3-day window. Then i had 1 day where i felt fatigued but the anxiety was gone. The next 2 days after were also windows. Not 100%, but it's a big relief. The only troublesome thing I'm experiencing in the past 2 nights is when i lay down to sleep my chest/ ab muscle seems to be super weak. I can't even explain it. It feels extremely uncomfortable to lay down like my rib cage isn't supported and hard to breathe. Yet this morning,  i woke up and that feeling was gone! 

 

For now, I'm enjoying these windows. I'm monitoring myself and nervous about how I'll do on my next period. The last one was horrible for like 2 weeks. Hopefully, it's a bit more manageable this time around!

 

[Miracle123]

Hi Warrior, 

Im happy your withdrawals lifted and keep stable now. Its a good sign you got a few days windows. Hope you can hold a bit longer until you feeling more stable and much better. Take care and hugs.

[WarriorWomanLV]

Update:

I have made some significant improvements! When i got out of acute WD i was better, but worse in other aspects.  The anxiety and negative thoughts were not as constant, but they were still there, plus i felt extremely weak, depressed and agorophobia became my new worst symptom.  I've lost so much weight and was experiencing muscle weakness.  Even though i was eating large meals 3x a day, it seemed it wasn't enough.  So one night i decided to eat dinner at 4pm, then another meal at 7pm.  That same night, it was like a switch was turned on... i had energy! I did the same thing the next day and ate meals 3 hrs apart.... another window! Now, this was no easy feat because I've had zero appetite.  The sight of food made me gag. I gagged at every bite.  But i still made it a goal to eat every 3 hours, and not just that... i made sure i had to finish what was in my plate within 15-20 mins  (because my appetite was so bad it would take me an hour to finish a meal).  I had to drink a gulp of water after every bite.  It literally felt like what a hotdog eating contestant must feel 40 hotdogs in lol. On day 2 of the experiment, i had another window! Not just that, but eating became much easier to do. I no longer gagged at the sight of food, i actually had appetite!  Most importantly,  i started to be able to drive.  I've been so afraid to drive because every time i did i felt like I was going to have a panic attack and pass out. I also was experiencing agorophobia.  Literally on the same night that i ate dinner twice, I was able to drive. A little nervous, but nothing like before and no feelings of panic.  After experiencing 3 straight days of windows, I knew this is something i need to keep doing.  

So i decided to up my game a bit, and i purchased a vegan protein shake.  I'm not vegan. i've been eating a lot of healthy meals of chicken and fish protein, vegetables and rice for my carbs. I figured the vegan protein shake will help provide additional nutrition from vegetables.  Plus the shake contained probiotics.  After drinking my first of glass of shake, i felt another degree better! I'm no longer nervous driving... i can now drive on autopilot and not constantly on fight or flight mode.  The one con of drinking the protein shake is that it has made me constipated (sorry tmi).  So i bought myself a bag of dates and a bag of pitted dried prunes and eat about 3 pieces per day.  This has worked like a charm.  I now have normal bowel movements.  I can feel my gut healing.  No bloating and no constipation. My skin has improved as well since all this!

It has been 10 days since this significant improvement.  It seems that I get a good day every other day, and a wave day on the others.  On the good day... it's like i'm completely normal... dare i say, almost 100%! On the wave day, I'm functional (which is great!), but i experience negative thoughts and goes away by 11am... then from about 4pm to 8pm i experience either fatigue or brain fog.  My good day, bad day pattern is very odd... but the good days have given me so much hope. I even got to go to a Christmas party with no anxiety issues.... that 's a miracle considering a week prior i was feeling agorophobic!

 

[Tom37]

Great to here of your improvements!

 

Its crazy the cycle in which symptoms go through and everyone is unique in how they recover but the end result is we all see improvements in time and then recovery. 

 

I too am trying to stabilise and I’m more week on week off with waves and windows although seeing improvement in this wave. But only a month after a crash so probably a few months to go for me.

 

Been fortunate not to have anxiety so far but I know how debilitating it can be. Chemical physical anxiety is crazy when your mind is clear yet the anxiety is there, it’s ridiculous but you can learn to deal with it and it’s ‘only’ a feeling that will not harm you. Easier said than done though and practice needed.

 

All the best.

 

[WarriorWomanLV]

Tom, thank you for your message. I know how difficult it is and it seems like you're coping well. I truly believe you will be one of the people who will heal faster because of your positive attitude!

[WarriorWomanLV]

Guys, i need some help please! After my last window update, I've hit a wave... of course. My anxiety was much much better but was replaced by deep depression. That was last week, this week it's been insomnia. I am cycling through symptoms and to be quite honest, they're all equally awful. The one thing i need advice with is that i am still losing weight. I suspect I have hyperthyroidism. I plan on seeing the doctor next week. I am afraid of taking medication for it because I'm so sensitive to everything. Will thyroid meds mess with me if I'm going through withdrawals?? I know lots of people on here have gone hypo, but i can't find anyone who went hyper. I want to know if anyone has successfully gotten on it even with a sensitive CNS. Thank you so much!

[ChessieCat]

There are many existing topics on this site.  I like to use google and add survivingantidepressants.org to my search term.

 

Until you have the test/s done you don't know if it is a thyroid issue.  One thing at a time.  Get the test results and then if something is prescribed do your research.  Other members take thyroid drugs.  I do know that you need have a regular blood test to check to see if the dose needs to be adjusted.

 

thyroid-symptoms-hypothyroid-hashimotos

 

thyroid-problems-misdiagnosed-as-psychiatric

 

Many members have found that their withdrawal symptoms have increased over the Christmas break. Q:   Have you considered that it may be one or more of the changes you have recently made which you posted about on 20th December, which was only 11 days ago.  If you make too many changes close together it can be hard to know what or if anything is causing an issue.  If it was me, I'd be stopping the last thing you introduced (protein shake I think) and not using it for a couple weeks and if things improve you could try it again to see if things worsen again (it may be coincidence).

 

The other thing to consider, have you been overdoing things because you have been feeling improvement.

 

Keep it Simple, Slow and Stable

 

[WarriorWomanLV]

Hi, CC and thank you for the response! That is actually how i google it. Www.survivingantidepressants.org + *topic*. I've found minimal posting on hyperthyroidism but many on hypothyroidism. 0 results on the medication for hyperthyroidism. 

 

The shake is actually helping me keep anxiety at bay. I hit a wave because of my period. It's like the devil said, "oh you found a shield for your anxiety? Here's depression this time!" It's awful. I have not overdone anything at all. I've actually separated from my husband and toddler son so i can be with my parents and be taken care of. I miss my family and I'm angry what these meds have done, not just to me but my family!

[ChessieCat]

1 hour ago, WarriorWomanLV said:

Guys, i need some help please! After my last window update, I've hit a wave... of course. My anxiety was much much better but was replaced by deep depression. That was last week, this week it's been insomnia. I am cycling through symptoms and to be quite honest, they're all equally awful.

 

15 minutes ago, WarriorWomanLV said:

I hit a wave because of my period.

 

That information was not provided and I responded to what you wrote.  You do know why you are in a wave.  What you wrote was dishonest.   "I hit a wave because of my period."

 

You commenced your post starting with  i need some help please!   That is catastrophising and dramatising.    Like the boy who cried wolf.  It wastes moderator time,  the initial post plus follow up.  We take what members post very seriously and the way you posted was inappropriate because you already knew the cause yet made out that you didn't.   We do not know what is happening in real life and respond to what a member writes.  Please be more considerate when posting in the future.  Thank you.

[WarriorWomanLV]

Hi, I'm so very sorry to upset you! I'm not in the right frame of mind so my writing is all over the place. My ask for help was in reference to hyperthyroid/thyroid meds experience while in withdrawal. Which you DID answer and I'm very grateful for all your help! You've always been a beacon of light! My apologies for the confusion. 

[ChessieCat]

Thank you for your apology.  Next time you need assistance, please reword it so that it does not come across as being urgent. 

 

This:  Guys, i need some help please!    would have been better posted as:   Guys, I need some advice please (with no ! )

 

There is a huge difference in how the two different ways of writing this come across.

 

You also didn't state straight away what you were wanting assistance with.  The first 1/3 of the post was about (until you clarifed) an inexplicable wave.

 

And then you posted about the thyroid issue which seemed like a separate issue altogether.

[WarriorWomanLV]

Will do, Chessie. I recognize where i went wrong in my writing. I'm going through a panic attack at the moment, if that explains anything. Thank you again for all your help. 

[ChessieCat]

I'm glad you understand.

[ChessieCat]

On 12/31/2018 at 5:42 AM, WarriorWomanLV said:

I'm going through a panic attack at the moment

 

It sounds like you need some tools to help you cope.  I've listed them in the order to them check out, so start from the top and work through them as you are able to.  But make sure you read the bottom quote AAF.

 

Audio:  First Aid for Panic (4 minutes)

 

The diagram in this link shows the ways that anxiety affects different parts of the body.  It is helpful to be able to recognise these so that we don't get frightened by the feeling in our body and end up with second fear, or fear of the fear.

 

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/AnxietySelfHelp.pdf

 

Anxiety Stuff - all kinds of stuff about anxiety attacks and things that help ...

 

Claire Weekes was a doctor who suffered from anxiety and learned and taught ways to cope.  There are lots of videos on YoutTube.

 

Audio:  How to Recover from Anxiety - Dr Claire Weekes

 

Claire Weekes' Method of Recovering from a Sensitized Nervous System

 

Non-drug techniques to cope

 

On 4/28/2017 at 4:03 AM, brassmonkey said:

 

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.  I hope you give it a try.

 

 

 

[WarriorWomanLV]

Thank you, ChessieCat.  I have been listening to some Dr. Claire Weekes on YouTube and her techniques are very helpful. Her voice is so soothing as well. I have to keep practicing how to accept and float. Hard to do at times when the symptoms are bad, but it truly is the only thing we can do to get through it. 

[ChessieCat]

Yes the non drug techniques to help cope are very strongly recommended.  They are good for withdrawal but also general life situations.  There will be times during withdrawal that will be tougher than at other times and sometimes we just have to learn to sit with the symptoms and not get caught up in them.   Acceptance

[WarriorWomanLV]

Journal /Update:

 

From December 20 -30, my wave was horrible. Severe depression and ideation, Insomnia, DP, etc... I couldn't stop crying.  After that wave, my window began and it seems that my baseline has improved. I began to fully sleep, my ribs stopped hurting, I didn't feel extreme weakness in the mornings, no cortisol spikes,  and best of all I no longer had this cloud of anxiety and depression that lingered over my head. I am now present when conversing with people again! 

Then, yesterday, it seems I got a new symptom.  My heartbeat was beating fast at 107 BPM. This happened before I needed to drive somewhere. The drive was horrible and I wanted to turn around and go back home, but I focused on accepting and floating the feelings off.  Once i got to my destination (my other home), it took me awhile to calm down. Later that evening, I wondered if my anxiety  and fast heartbeat was due to anticipatory of having to drive or if it was coincidence. So, I decided to test myself.  I drove to the store by myself which was only 3 mins away. I was able to go there, pick up some stuff and drive back. At the store, I felt like i was experiencing DP... walking around like i'm not in my own body. I did it anyway, and drove back. Once home, I felt horrible... an adrenaline dump... like i just used up all my energy for driving and grocery shopping.  It took me a while to calm down again. Right now, I don't actually know if I'm experiencing chemical anxiety or if I developed real anxiety (something I never experienced before withdrawal).  It seems that I can drive fine if there's someone else in the car... I feel fine going to the stores with someone there.  But if I have to go do things by myself, it takes every ounce of my energy. Then at night, insomnia greeted me again... and with my new symptom- fast heartbeat. It's crazy. It's like my symptoms keep changing from one to the other. I guess for now, I should just focus on my improvement of being able to do things without that cloud of anxiety or depression. 

[Altostrata]

Hi, WW. Sounds to me like you're still having wave and windows. Mutation of symptom pattern is common, "normal," you might say.

 

Anticipatory anxiety is the worst and can definitely kick off a wave. A good time to practice meditative breathing!

 

But a window with good sleep -- hurray. Your nervous system wandered into that territory and will do it again.

 

Are you taking fish oil and magnesium supplements? See
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/ http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

These can be helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

[Tom37]

Hi WW,

 

Can definitely agree on the symptoms mutating into different forms. Just when you think they are gone they come back but in a different variation. So frustrating. 

 

You had a great window though so that is encouraging. Just have to ride out the next wave and then hopefully your baseline will improve even more.

 

Take care.

[WarriorWomanLV]

Thank you, Alto and Tom! You're both right that I need to focus and be encouraged by the improvements. Had a great day yesterday and was even at the dentist for cleaning and braces adjustment. I was there for an hour and a half and did not feel anxious at all. Funny because just over a week ago, i was there for 15 mins and i was so anxious that i needed my mom to be in the dentist room with me.  

 

While yesterday was a great day, this morning i woke up with a sore right eye. Right eye has been blurry all day (combined with an overall feeling of discomfort- mild). I know this is withdrawal because i was just at the optometrist 2 weeks ago and everything was normal and healthy. I'm still amazed at my ever so fast changing symptoms. I like to think that my brain is "testing" and "readjusting" parts of my body, turning things on and off as a necessary part of healing.

 

I'm still tapering lexapro at .28mg. Im so tempted sometimes to just do .01 cuts every week instead of every 2 weeks and let my true healing begin. I'm hoping though that healing can also happen while tapering. 

 

Ha! As i finish writing this, my vision came back. 😂 

[Tom37]

Good work on the dentist appointment and the lower anxiety. One of the best things I have always found for anxiety is ‘avoidance’ as in not a avoiding the anxiety creating situation. By that I mean avoiding the situation that causes the anxiety is only going to reinforce the anxious feelings. With medication related anxiety though it’s hard if the physical anxiety is always there but best to still try to go about your daily life otherwise you then may think your avoiding things due to anxiety. Don’t set yourself up for failure and do to much to soon. A little at a time and keep working on it. The vicious cycle of anxiety.

 

These ever changing symptoms amaze me too and you do wonder what could possibly come next. No idea what it means in terms of healing but definitely a sign the body isn’t happy with where it’s at. Just try to enjoy the good days and when not good trying to accept them is the best way to deal with it as what else can you do? I struggle with doing that myself and can be very scary.