Tanha Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 The doses I’m on now are almost the same as last March when the whole Desaster of agitation started. (Mirtazapine was on 30 mg though) so i am very keen to leave this uncomfortable zone soon, although I know that my body/brain/situation has changed a lot since then. This is dangerous irrational thinking as I do it all the time. I know that yet it is so powerful. And doing „nothing“ during holds seems unbearable. It is the same thinking that drives one to say: I want to get rid of these drugs immediately or I cannot live without the drugs calming me. Judgement is so impaired in wd process and by the meds. It is terrible. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 Which one is the more potent sedative: 200 mg quetiapine or 4,2 mg diazepam? 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 4, 2019 Administrator Share Posted March 4, 2019 On 3/2/2019 at 10:47 AM, Altostrata said: Your drug interactions https://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=862-0,1979-0,1640-0&types[]=major&types[]=minor&types[]=moderate&types[]=food&types[]=therapeutic_duplication&professional=1 Do you see "Central nervous system- and/or respiratory-depressant effects" among all 3 drugs? That is what causes many of your symptoms. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 10 minutes ago, Altostrata said: I don’t get it. Do you mean that even the tiny bits that i can take off the diazepam every few weeks or more are doing the job as effectively (reducing the paradox interaction) as do bigger cuts off high dose quetiapine? 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 4, 2019 Administrator Share Posted March 4, 2019 2 minutes ago, Tanha said: even the tiny bits that i can take off the diazepam every few weeks or more are doing the job effectively (reducing the paradox interaction)? CORRECT This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 4, 2019 Author Share Posted March 4, 2019 Yes. You make my day!!!!! 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 5, 2019 Author Share Posted March 5, 2019 Can one see any reason in the daily schedules if any of my meds (specially diazepam) gives me extra trouble besides the paradoxical reaction of the combo of meds? Dp and nervous overstimulation are almost permanent (are Diazepam or quetiapine doses giving me spikes with that?), numbed by mirtazapine in the evening but then I feel a little Less estranged.. It mean I cannot bear doing anything, even sitting is too stimulating! I urinate a lot. Anxiety and depression are with me all day. If I note it in the schedule than it is really bad. 1. march 51 days since last cut of quetiapine 107 days after last cut mirtazapine 125 days since cutting levomepromazine to zero 12 months since ct cymbalta and promethazine and Wellbutrin 19 days since last cut diazepam 1. March. 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine 5:30 am. woke, 7:30 am. meat, cucumber, hemp protein Vitamine d fish oil 7:35 am. 1 mg Diazepam 50 mg quetiapine 8:30 am. almost Delirium, severely sedated, like loosing my consciousness 9:45 am. any stimulus unbearable (nervous overstimulation) 10:30 am. 150 mg magnesium 11:30 am. burning skin badly, bad physical agitation like drug craving very severe, all way too much through the roof noon meat, vegetables, hemp protein, fishoil 12:15 1 mg Diazepam 1 pm. burning and craving and nervous overstimulation and physical agitation same intensity!!!!!! 1:15 pm 50 mg quetiapine 1:40 pm burning almost gone, restlessness physical, agitation better 1:55 pm feeling awful, mental pressure, restless, depressed, any stimulus too much little better 2 pm mild but distressing flue, fatigue, depressed, mild nausea, feeling really ugly/sick, cannot do anything (feels painful), severely depressed because of that feeling and not be able to do anything nervous overstimulation all day 3 pm restless (akathisia?), painful depression/emotions, restless, sedated 5 pm emotional pain unbearable, restless, no self/cannot identify myself 5:30 pm meat, cucumber, oats, hemp protein, fishoil 5:45 pm 1,5 mg Diazepam terrible pressure on mind, emotional pain through the roof, any stimulus too much worst!!! 6:30 pm 50 mg quetiapine calorieshake any stimulus too much even worse than ever 7 pm same intensity!!! 7:25 pm not much better, pressure on mind, si die to agitation cannon calm myself extremely restless and tired 7:45 pm 16 mg mirtazapine 8:30 pm little better but still mirtazapine helps 8:44 pm 50 mg Quetiapine 2 eggs 9:45 pm 1 mg Diazepam worse!!!!! Very physical 11:25 pm.woke, sweat, feeling like delirium 52 days since last cut of quetiapine 108 days after last cut mirtazapine 126 days since cutting levomepromazine to zero 12 months since ct cymbalta and promethazine and Wellbutrin 20 days since last cut diazepam 2. March. 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine no broken sleep 5:30 am. woke, 7 am. very severe physical agitation and nervous overstimulation and mild burning Sensation pressure on my mind 7:30 am. meat, cucumber, hemp protein 50 mg quetiapine 1 mg Diazepam Vitamine d fishoil 150 mg magnesium 8:30 am. 50 mg quetiapine feeling hot, burning veins 9:10 am. same agitation, more pressure on chest cold chills, feels little like deliium is close 10 am. distressing pressure on chest and body, estranged painful self, feeling sick 10:20 am. 150 mg magnesium incredible bodysensation (pressure, flue, restless) unbearable, noon meat, vegetables, hemp protein, fishoil 1 mg Diazepam 12:40 different kind of restlessness/agitation (toxic) 1 pm. 50 mg quetiapine 1:33 pm arousel better but feeling fatigue and sick and desperate 2:28 pm same, brainfog all afternoon, utter despair, weird emotions, bedridden, less Agitation but pressure on my mind and body Nervous overstimulation bad 2:45 pm painful estranged self and emotions, extremely bad, restless but not as bad 4:36 pm restlessness/agitation suddenly getting much worse, nervous overstimulation worse 5:30 pm meat, cucumber, oats, hemp protein, 5:45 pm nervous overstimulation through the roof 1,5 mg Diazepam 6:30 pm 50 mg quetiapine caloriedrink shake symptoms same, utter despair 7 pm overstimulation really worse 8 pm fishoil, 2 eggs 16 mg mirtazapine little better 8:15 pm little better but feel restlessness. is only numbed 8:53 pm 150 mg magnesium 9 pm much better but agitation numbed bad heartpounding, mild physical agitation, numbed restlessness 10 pm 1 mg diazepam 10:16 pm suddenly overstimulation worse than ever at this time 11:15 pm woke in delirium feeling, sweat 53 days since last cut of quetiapine 109 days after last cut mirtazapine 127 days since cutting levomepromazine to zero 12 months since ct cymbalta and promethazine and Wellbutrin today last cut diazepam 3. March. 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg instead of 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine 5:30 am. woke, immediately feels like getting into delirium all the time, mild difficulty breathing 7:15 am. same 7:30 am. meat, cucumber, hemp protein 1 mg Diazepam Vitamine d fishoil 150 mg magnesium 8:06 am. delirium feeling bad, but more arousel/agitation 8:45 am. 50 mg quetiapine 9:15 am. agitation really gets bad and oversensitized nerves 9:46 am better, but feeling little flue 9:50 am 150 mg magnesium 10:08 am. sick, nervous overstimulation for a short moment can I feel myself but too real/distressing 11 am. agitation/arousel worse, earringing worse noon meat, vegetables, hemp protein, fishoil 12:08 0,5 mg Diazepam instead 1 mg physical agitation distressing, mild pressure on mind/body 12:22 anxiety, fatigue, depressed, numb, no self 1 pm. 50 mg quetiapine pressure on chest 1:30 pm. still pressure on chest and soul, less agitated, nervous overstimulation all day, anxiety, estranged self, mild painful depression, Body like being squeezed pressure, unbearable vertigovertigo/floating dear. 2:15 pm difficulty breathing mild, fast heartpounding, very dizzy 2:20 pm. 150 mg magnesium, fruit juice body like lead, vertigo, hr 100 2:40 pm hr 95 3 pm hr 115, bad heartbeating 3:40 hot 4 pm hr 130 after walking and 4:03 pm hr 95 in bed 4:30 pm. hr 95, body sensations less, anxiety, depression, brainfog, dysautonomia (hr Crazy) 5:15 pm Dysautonomia anxiety dp Depression, agitation, all day nervous overstimulation 5:30 pm meat, cucumber, oats, hemp protein, fishoil 50 mg quetiapine 5:45 pm. nervous overstimulation through the roof 1,5 mg Diazepam 6 pm. same, no self, utter despair, longing for life 6:13 pm arousel/ nervous overstimulation suddenly worse 6:30 pm calorieshake 50 mg quetiapine symptoms same, utter despair 7:30 pm 150 mg magnesium little better but still bad and anxiety, cannot do anything 7:45 pm 16 mg mirtazapine 8:45 pm. 50 mg quetiapine 9:35 pm. 1 mg diazepam 2 eggs 54 days since last cut of quetiapine 110 days after last cut mirtazapine 128 days since cutting levomepromazine to zero 12 months since ct cymbalta and promethazine and Wellbutrin 1 days since last cut diazepam 4. March. 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine 5 am. woke, fear flooding me constantly 7:30 am. meat, cucumber, hemp protein 1 mg Diazepam Vitamine d fishoil 7:35 am. same fear 8:30 am. 50 mg quetiapine bad dp, no self painful, fear 9:05 am. same unbearable, light sensitive 9:15 am pressure on soul, no self distressing, agitation 9:30 am nervous overstimulation , pressure on mind/body and chest badly, Bad dp, no self very painful 11 am. little better, less fear, strange self and strange emotions badly, but clear mind and bit more myself in spite dp 11:15 am agitation and all too much worse, pressure on soul same, fear getting more again, agitated noon meat, vegetables, hemp protein, fishoil 12:10 4,2 mg Diazepam physical agitation distressing, mild pressure on mind/body 1 pm 50 mg quetiapine 1:15 pm very mentally restless, anxiety, akathisia, overstimulation , despair, depressed, cannot do anything, earringing 2 pm akathisia worse, earringing 3:11 pm. very dizzy, vertigo hr 72, body pressure like yesterday, akathisia same, also like close to delirium, almost loosing consciousness 3:30 pm. hr 100 in bed 4:12 pm. sweets 5:30 pm meat, cucumber, oats, hemp protein, fishoil 50 mg quetiapine 5:40 pm. 1,5 mg Diazepam 6:30 pm. 50 mg quetiapine calorieshake 6 pm only little better 6:20 pm like physical drug craving, mild flue, restlessness 7 pm same und Agitation and hyperarousel, 7:35 pm not better still akathisia 7:45 pm 16 mg mirtazapine 8;45 pm. 50 mg quetiapine 9:35 pm. 1 mg diazepam 2 eggs 55 days since last cut of quetiapine 111 days after last cut mirtazapine 129 days since cutting levomepromazine to zero 12 months since ct cymbalta and promethazine and Wellbutrin 2 days since last cut diazepam 5. March. 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine 5 am. woke, fear flooding me constantly 7:30 am. meat, cucumber, hemp protein 1 mg Diazepam Vitamine d fishoil 7:35 am. same 8:30 am. 50 mg quetiapine bad dp, no self painful 9:05 am. same unbearable, light sensitive eyes 9:15 am. pressure on soul, no feeling of self distressing, agitation 9:30 am overstimulation, pressure on soul and chest badly, Bad dp, no self very painful 11 am. little better, less fear, strange self and strange emotions badly, but clear mind and bit more myself in spite dp 11:15 am agitation and overstimulation worse, pressure on soul same, fear getting more again, agitated noon meat, vegetables, hemp protein, fishoil 12:10 0,58 mg Diazepam instead physical agitation distressing, mild pressure on soul 1 pm 50 mg quetiapine 1:15 pm. very mentally restless, anxiety, akathisia, overstimulation, despair, depressed, cannot do anything, earringing 2 pm akathisia worse, kopfrauschen 3:11 pm very dizzy, vertigo hr 72, body pressure like yesterday, akathisia same, also like close to delirium, loosing consciousness 3:30 pm hr 100 in bed 4:12 pm sweets 5:30 pm meat, cucumber, oats, hemp protein, fishoil 5:40 pm 1,5 mg Diazepam 6 pm not better 6:20 pm 50 mg quetiapine feeling of physical drug craving mild flue, restless 7 pm same, agitation 7:35 pm not better, still akathisia 7:45 pm 16 mg mirtazapine 8:45 pm. 50 mg quetiapine 9:35 pm. 1 mg diazepam 12:23 pm. woke with feeling of delir 5. March 56 days since last cut of quetiapine 112 days after last cut mirtazapine 130 days since cutting levomepromazine to zero 12 months since ct cymbalta and promethazine and Wellbutrin 3 days since last cut diazepam 5. March. 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine 5 am. woke, agitation, akathisia, anxiety 7:25 am same 7:30 am. meat, cucumber, hemp protein Vitamine d fishoil 7:35 am. 1 mg Diazepam 8:05 am. like delirium, Rest same 8:30 am. 50 mg quetiapine deathly fatigue, like delir, less akathisia, anxiety 9:10 am. dry mouth, same 9:30 am painful depression/emotions, akathisia, fatigue like delir, anxiety, si 9:35 am akathisia getting worse, still delir and painful emotions, depression, anxiety, si 9:45 am more anxiety and arousel, fatigue better, light sensitive eyes, si painful depression and painful self, painfully emotions 10:30 am too much emotions, nervous overstimulation better 11 am. crushing depression noon meat, vegetables, hemp protein, fishoil 0,58 mg Diazepam 12 - 1 pm could rest a bit but not at ease 1 pm freeze, same, but more akathisia 1:10 pm 50 mg quetiapine 1:40 pm same, akathisia almost bearable, but pressure on soul and body (is this pressure Depression? Akathisia?), nervous overstimulation not as bad as could be 2:30 pm overstimulation through the roof (was better in the morning), akathisia worse 3:15 pm akathisia bad, overstimulation through the roof 4:15 pm same, bad akathisia 5:25 pm same, dizzy, nausea mild hr 90 5:30 pm meat, cucumber, oats, hemp protein, fishoil 1,5 mg Diazepam 6:05 pm akathisia better, little less overstimulation, cannot recognize myself (distressing) 6:30 pm 50 mg quetiapine calorieshake 7:45 pm. 16 mg mirtazapine 8 pm. nervous overstimulation worse 8:30 pm. 2 eggs, 150 mg magnesium do i get a stable and bearable self back? 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 6, 2019 Author Share Posted March 6, 2019 Dear @Altostrata I just noticed since I shifted the quetiapine away from the diazepam doses I take it very irregularly (4x50 mg) 8:30 am 1:30 pm 6:30 pm 8:45 pm Evening and night dose only 2 hours apart. at night 11 hours no quetiapine. must I change this or change amount of dose? I am in acute Diazepam wd. Cannot take the night dose later (too sleepy and exhausted and mistakes happen. cannot change the diazepam times. didn‘t sleep last night. diazepam 7:30 am 1 mg 12 0,7 mg 5:30 pm. 1,5 mg 9:35 pm. 1 mg i am such a fool. i am sick of changes, need stability. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 6, 2019 Author Share Posted March 6, 2019 2 hours ago, Tanha said: Dear @Altostrata I just noticed since I shifted the quetiapine away from the diazepam doses I take it very irregularly (4x50 mg) 8:30 am 1:30 pm 6:30 pm 8:45 pm Evening and night dose only 2 hours apart. at night 11 hours no quetiapine. must I change this or change amount of dose? I am in acute Diazepam wd. Cannot take the night dose later (too sleepy and exhausted and mistakes happen. cannot change the diazepam times. didn‘t sleep last night. diazepam 7:30 am 1 mg 12 0,7 mg 5:30 pm. 1,5 mg 9:35 pm. 1 mg i am such a fool. i am sick of changes, need stability. And on top of that at 7:45 pm. 16 mg mirtazapine and 100 mg quetiapine all close Together. no wonder that I wake at 11:30 pm with feeling of delirium. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted March 6, 2019 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 6, 2019 Hi Tanha, Thanks for updating the most recent parts of your signature. It is easier to read. I can just echo Alto's words that the best way through this is a continual gradual tapering of your medications. What have you tried and found useful as far as being soothing or calming? I see that @ChessieCat asked questions a few days ago--please answer those. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 7, 2019 Administrator Share Posted March 7, 2019 6 hours ago, Tanha said: I am in acute Diazepam wd. What do you mean by this? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 7, 2019 Author Share Posted March 7, 2019 Dear @ChessieCat sorry for answering so late. yes, since yesterday it is clear that I will leave the clinic and go to dayclinic. Thank you for thinking of me. I am not in best shape so getting home is a touchy topic at the moment. But I guess that is normal. How are you? 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 7, 2019 Author Share Posted March 7, 2019 18 hours ago, SkyBlue said: Hi Tanha, Thanks for updating the most recent parts of your signature. It is easier to read. I can just echo Alto's words that the best way through this is a continual gradual tapering of your medications. What have you tried and found useful as far as being soothing or calming? I see that @ChessieCat asked questions a few days ago--please answer those. Thank you SkyBlue for for your kind thoughts. It is really important and encouraging to hear the slow and gradual mantra over and over again. I am serious. Please never stop to remind us of that! 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 7, 2019 Author Share Posted March 7, 2019 I have intense emotional pain and I think it is from the meds. I wish i‘d knew which one. It is beyond belief. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 7, 2019 Author Share Posted March 7, 2019 Dear @Altostrata Is it any good to take quetiapine and diazepam 1 hour apart? Or is that peanuts? And making things only difficult? i lost my sleep totally since three days ago (maybe because I take the evening meds too close together?) i want to shift 8:45 pm quetiapine to 10:30 pm to help this. Next dose would be at 8:30 am. Hope this helps with sleep and doesn’t upset my system more. I just cut diazepam on Sunday. Cannot shift the diazepam unfortunately because I get the meds from the nurse, this procedure will continue when I am in dayclinic. i have this almost delirium like state (oversedation?) now more often. Also when I could fall asleep I recently woke 2 hours later also with this delirium feeling, too. I have it mostly in the morning, alternating with agitation, emotional pain and crushing painful depression (mostly in the afternoon). The nervous overstimulation which is constant all day has improved in the mornings and early afternoons a bit since two days (yet they spike around 2:30 pm and 8 pm as the last daily notes above also show). 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted March 7, 2019 Administrator Share Posted March 7, 2019 Please answer my question in your benzo topic. Do not post the same question in both Intro and Benzo forums. Thanks. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 8, 2019 Author Share Posted March 8, 2019 I know and feel how the drugs degenerate my body and mind over time. i am very concerned about the high dose quetiapine and the benzo. I am so desperate to come off but can only taper one at a time of course and very Slowly over many years while the other drugs continue to damage me. I have to get these toxins out but cannot soon. Acceptance is not an easy thing with too much agitation within me and no break 24/7 (drugs make me pass out for a few hours rather than sleep). 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 8, 2019 Author Share Posted March 8, 2019 Slept 5 hours last night but have intensified symptoms today. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 9, 2019 Author Share Posted March 9, 2019 My emotions are much too strong (if I have them). Same with physical sensations. This gives me great despair because I have to keep myself in apathy in order to endure this. I know it is bad for my depression and healing but the emotions are really tooooo strong. I know the concept of „i have an emotion but I am not the emotion.“ Doesn’t work. Too intense is the arousel that comes because the emotions are tooo real, too intense. I hope it is not a sideeffect of any of my meds. i need my emotions. They are an important incentive to do things. Grrrr. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 10, 2019 Author Share Posted March 10, 2019 And again today my emotions are much too strong. Anxiety through the roof. Day 7-10 in diazepam taper are my worst. i am glad that I slept last night and that the notorious heartrate problems didn’t show up yet. But I have bad intrusive thoughts like in a scary movie. i have to slow down definitely. Learned my lesson today. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 10, 2019 Author Share Posted March 10, 2019 Dear @erer I know you are not as often of SA but some time you might come by and see this question: you wrote to me that you had terror of fear for a whole year. Can you remember what started it and what stopped it? Did it only stop after you cut olanzapin to zero (as I think I recall what you wrote about the end of your fear) or before? You wrote that you felt better at 1,4 mg or so. Do you have anxiety with diazepam cuts? When did your depression get better? You wrote that is was terrible during cymbalta taper and I would have expected it to get worse after the ct but after that you didn’t mention it anymore. actually all my emotions are way too intense and often very painful. This is very strange and exhausting. What are you busy with these days? 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
erer Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 54 minutes ago, Tanha said: Dear @erer you wrote to me that you had terror of fear for a whole year. Can you remember what started it and what stopped it? Did it only stop after you cut olanzapin to zero (as I think I recall what you wrote about the end of your fear) or before? Tanha, it started with me cutting off 1/4 of an olanzapine pill. I tried to hang on for a week, then updosed, but that did not work. It lasted well into 2 years and I'd say started to only gradually subside after 1,5 years. It was psychotic fears. Not psychosis, but psychotic fears. I still have (3,5 years in) some of that left, but they're more or less gone. You could also be referring to the panic state I was in after my CT of Cymbalta which was about 3 months before I tried to cut Olanzapine. The panic started early in the morning and lasted every day for many hours straight up until about 16.00 or 17.00 when it eased up and I felt better in the evenings. Every morning started with sheer terror again. So I would never (ever-ever-ever) recommend someone to try and rapidly taper Olanzapine. I had only taken it 3 months before I tried to reduce. 54 minutes ago, Tanha said: Do you have anxiety with diazepam cuts? I only have some and it is manageable. 54 minutes ago, Tanha said: When did your depression get better? You wrote that is was terrible during cymbalta taper and I would have expected it to get worse after the ct but after that you didn’t mention it anymore. The depression was extremely intense for about 1-2 years after my CT of Cymbalta. Together with the overwhelming physical symptoms and psychotic fears, I was just hanging on for my life day after day for 3 years. I regret cutting olanzapine. The depression was overwhelming. I could not bear any single second. It was torture second after second. I'd had similar before, but not as intense and unrelenting. 54 minutes ago, Tanha said: What are you busy with these days? I work outside of my home 3 days a week and do some from-home work on other days. I am a therapist for children with special needs and also a copywriter. I try to find a way to reconnect with people whom I'd lost during my fight for life and still work my way through tapering and the physical and emotional effects of all this. 2,5 years of slowly tapering down Cymbalta from 60 mg. Then tried going from 8,44 mg to 1 mg in 8 days. (April 1st 2015). That's when the real hell started. Reinstated. Didn't help. I was added Ativan (2 mg 2 times a day for relentless akathisia that started with jumping Cymbalta). For years had been taking Zopitin 7,5 mg and Stilnox 10 mg for I had not been able to sleep naturally since the 1st day I started Cymbalta). Used to take Xanax occasionally. All of the above were stopped cold turkey when I was hospitalized in the beginning of May 2015. Prior to that I have been on and off the whole spectrum of different AD-s for 15 years (since I was 17). My introduction. Tapering: Olanzapine (starting point 2,1 mg): Jan 2016 /---/ April 2018 0 mg. (From 2,1 mg to 0 mg in 1y 3mo). Diazepam (starting at 5 mg) : switching to liquid May 2018; 4,6 mg (June 2018) /---/ 0 mg (Feb 2020) (From 10 to 5 - nobody knows, from 5 to 0 in 1 y 10 mo) Valdoxan (starting at 25 mg): switching to liquid (Feb 2019) /---/ 0 mg (July 2020) Link to comment
erer Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 And Tanha, I get email notifications when someone posts in this thread 2,5 years of slowly tapering down Cymbalta from 60 mg. Then tried going from 8,44 mg to 1 mg in 8 days. (April 1st 2015). That's when the real hell started. Reinstated. Didn't help. I was added Ativan (2 mg 2 times a day for relentless akathisia that started with jumping Cymbalta). For years had been taking Zopitin 7,5 mg and Stilnox 10 mg for I had not been able to sleep naturally since the 1st day I started Cymbalta). Used to take Xanax occasionally. All of the above were stopped cold turkey when I was hospitalized in the beginning of May 2015. Prior to that I have been on and off the whole spectrum of different AD-s for 15 years (since I was 17). My introduction. Tapering: Olanzapine (starting point 2,1 mg): Jan 2016 /---/ April 2018 0 mg. (From 2,1 mg to 0 mg in 1y 3mo). Diazepam (starting at 5 mg) : switching to liquid May 2018; 4,6 mg (June 2018) /---/ 0 mg (Feb 2020) (From 10 to 5 - nobody knows, from 5 to 0 in 1 y 10 mo) Valdoxan (starting at 25 mg): switching to liquid (Feb 2019) /---/ 0 mg (July 2020) Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 10, 2019 Author Share Posted March 10, 2019 5 minutes ago, erer said: And Tanha, I get email notifications when someone posts in this thread Erer, thank you for your honest and detailed reply. I am so sorry that you had and have to suffer from all this. For me it is really helpful that someone can relate to what I am going through because he/she experienced the same. My wife is very encouraging, too. But it makes a difference if she says hang on or someone on SA. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
erer Posted March 10, 2019 Share Posted March 10, 2019 Tanha, it is definitely worth hanging on! 2,5 years of slowly tapering down Cymbalta from 60 mg. Then tried going from 8,44 mg to 1 mg in 8 days. (April 1st 2015). That's when the real hell started. Reinstated. Didn't help. I was added Ativan (2 mg 2 times a day for relentless akathisia that started with jumping Cymbalta). For years had been taking Zopitin 7,5 mg and Stilnox 10 mg for I had not been able to sleep naturally since the 1st day I started Cymbalta). Used to take Xanax occasionally. All of the above were stopped cold turkey when I was hospitalized in the beginning of May 2015. Prior to that I have been on and off the whole spectrum of different AD-s for 15 years (since I was 17). My introduction. Tapering: Olanzapine (starting point 2,1 mg): Jan 2016 /---/ April 2018 0 mg. (From 2,1 mg to 0 mg in 1y 3mo). Diazepam (starting at 5 mg) : switching to liquid May 2018; 4,6 mg (June 2018) /---/ 0 mg (Feb 2020) (From 10 to 5 - nobody knows, from 5 to 0 in 1 y 10 mo) Valdoxan (starting at 25 mg): switching to liquid (Feb 2019) /---/ 0 mg (July 2020) Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 11, 2019 Author Share Posted March 11, 2019 Erer, how on earth did you find out that the olanzapin is giving you the anxiety problem. it started when you cut too much of it. Woupit have bern logic that the Body missed olanzapine and that this caused the anxiety? We’re there other hints like anxiety getting worse after taking a dose olanzapine? Didn’t you cut diazepam at around the same time, too? Did the long hold help to figure out what is the problem? You said it was just but a gut feeling. I have a severe agitation and anxiety problem and cannot figure out what makes it so bad. I always thought it is from diazepam cuts or cuts in general. But the symptom never abates with time. And it gets worse the lower I get with diazepam (well at least this happened in summer but then I might have cut too much too fast). I am not sure if this specific symptom got worse with quetiapine cuts, though. I have many kinds of agitation which is confusing (nervous overstimulation, akathisia, agitation, ...). Going up with quetiapine helped though but gave me other problems. but at the moment even quetiapine doesn’t ease the symptom (the normal dose, i never go up with meds). 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 14, 2019 Author Share Posted March 14, 2019 Going home tomorrow. scared. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
erer Posted March 14, 2019 Share Posted March 14, 2019 Wishing you all the best for going home. It can be scary, but you can do it. 2,5 years of slowly tapering down Cymbalta from 60 mg. Then tried going from 8,44 mg to 1 mg in 8 days. (April 1st 2015). That's when the real hell started. Reinstated. Didn't help. I was added Ativan (2 mg 2 times a day for relentless akathisia that started with jumping Cymbalta). For years had been taking Zopitin 7,5 mg and Stilnox 10 mg for I had not been able to sleep naturally since the 1st day I started Cymbalta). Used to take Xanax occasionally. All of the above were stopped cold turkey when I was hospitalized in the beginning of May 2015. Prior to that I have been on and off the whole spectrum of different AD-s for 15 years (since I was 17). My introduction. Tapering: Olanzapine (starting point 2,1 mg): Jan 2016 /---/ April 2018 0 mg. (From 2,1 mg to 0 mg in 1y 3mo). Diazepam (starting at 5 mg) : switching to liquid May 2018; 4,6 mg (June 2018) /---/ 0 mg (Feb 2020) (From 10 to 5 - nobody knows, from 5 to 0 in 1 y 10 mo) Valdoxan (starting at 25 mg): switching to liquid (Feb 2019) /---/ 0 mg (July 2020) Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 19, 2019 Author Share Posted March 19, 2019 I got strong dp/dr and anhedonia today. This is bad and good news. Because it makes me acknowledge that this has been much better in the last months. I reduced quetiapine a lot so this might have helped. And i was holding my diazepam taper for a long time. Now unfortunately it is back with my second small cut of diazepam. Of course it gives me panic. Akathisia for me seems to be caused by upsetting the cns too much. So distressing that this is back. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 21, 2019 Author Share Posted March 21, 2019 Day three of switch from liquid to diazepam tablet (which I dissolve in water). The brand I got the liquid diazepam from (ratiopharm) looses effectiveness if mixed with water (this is not necessarily the case with liquids from other brands). My wife contacted the producer. (I am in a special situation where a nurse prepares my single doses with water and is not allowed to do it without water. The diazepam liquid stays in that mix throughout the weekend so I might get very different doses and cannot stabilize). I cannot reduce by less than 0,5 mg with this liquid. Getting another brand is not possible at the moment. I am so sick of these changes. Messes me up. Akathisia is bad yet compared to as it has been in summer it is not persistent throughout the day anymore. Is this a glimpse of hope? 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
erer Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 1 hour ago, Tanha said: Akathisia is bad yet compared to as it has been in summer it is not persistent throughout the day anymore. Is this a glimpse of hope? I would say definitely! 2,5 years of slowly tapering down Cymbalta from 60 mg. Then tried going from 8,44 mg to 1 mg in 8 days. (April 1st 2015). That's when the real hell started. Reinstated. Didn't help. I was added Ativan (2 mg 2 times a day for relentless akathisia that started with jumping Cymbalta). For years had been taking Zopitin 7,5 mg and Stilnox 10 mg for I had not been able to sleep naturally since the 1st day I started Cymbalta). Used to take Xanax occasionally. All of the above were stopped cold turkey when I was hospitalized in the beginning of May 2015. Prior to that I have been on and off the whole spectrum of different AD-s for 15 years (since I was 17). My introduction. Tapering: Olanzapine (starting point 2,1 mg): Jan 2016 /---/ April 2018 0 mg. (From 2,1 mg to 0 mg in 1y 3mo). Diazepam (starting at 5 mg) : switching to liquid May 2018; 4,6 mg (June 2018) /---/ 0 mg (Feb 2020) (From 10 to 5 - nobody knows, from 5 to 0 in 1 y 10 mo) Valdoxan (starting at 25 mg): switching to liquid (Feb 2019) /---/ 0 mg (July 2020) Link to comment
bheb Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 5 hours ago, Tanha said: Akathisia is bad yet compared to as it has been in summer it is not persistent throughout the day anymore. Is this a glimpse of hope? Yes Tanha!! That’s the definition of hope. Very good to hear! Aug-Dec 2015 Prozac 20mg / Dec 2015-Feb 2016 Prozac 15mg / Feb 2016-May2016 Prozac 20mg May 2016-June 2016 15mg June 2016-August 2016 10mg October 2016-January 2017 15mg, alternating agitation/akathisia sets in --> cold turkey January 2017 Clonazepam .5mg February 2017 Clonazepam 1mg (for a week) then .5mg morning and .25mg evening for about a month. Came down to .25mg morning and evening. May 1, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .125mg evening. // May 20, 2017 Clonazepam .25mg morning and .0625 evening (.3125 total). early June .28125 // early mid june .25mg // mid june .21875 // late june .1875 // early july .15625 // early mid july .125 mid july .09375mg // late july .0625 //early August 2017 down to .03125mg once a day, hopped off in mid August reinstated at .0625mg late August // Oct 16 - updose to .07mg and switch to oral Rosemont solution Nov 17 2017 reinstate Prozac .5mg // Nov 21 2017 prozac 1.6mg // Dec 18 2017 3mg prozac / fast taper off the reinstatement -- probably completely off early Oct 2018 June 2019 begin tapering off .07mg Clonazepam, Finish taper December 2019 Link to comment
Tanha Posted March 27, 2019 Author Share Posted March 27, 2019 My wife found a pdoc with some kind of slow-wd knowledge (he is into Peter Breggin). After reading about my symptoms and my ordeal since December 2017 he wrote back that in his opinion I am still dealing with protracted wd from the ct cymbalta then. Now I am wondering if healing is possible on 200 mg quetiapine and My drugcocktail. My poor body must get very confused with each new dose of those poisons. Well, at least it feels like that. I am so desperate because all these terrible symptoms never ever let go. After messing with doses of diazepam in the last weeks it seems that I now found a way to stabilize that. But this definitely left a scar. Sleep is ok. Anxiety a little worse. depression is on and off which is better than before but distressing. Dp/dr is on and off, too, which is an improvement but very distressing. nervous overstimulation is a bit too much and incapacitates me in a very bad way. akathisia and restlessness are on and off but too intense. staying at home alone is a real problem. Dealing with daily tasks is often too much for me. After the long time in hospital I have to relearn all the normal things again and this is Harder and drpresding than I imagined. I think I need a little help with that. So my wife found an organic farm where psychiatric injured people can live for a few weeks or months and it is near our home. Hopefully it is affordable. I love nature. She has put me on the waiting list. It is an alternative project with lots of easy tasks to do without being alone. With depression and bad wd it is difficult to tackle daily tasks alone (when my wife is at work). Well, I am really struggling because there is no calm inside of me. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted April 2, 2019 Author Share Posted April 2, 2019 Dear @erer i am holding my doses as best as i can. Tapered a tiny bit of diazepam 2 weeks ago and my system is ruined as ever. Bad mistake. since yesterday, 14 days after the reduction, I get bad airhunger daily for many hours. You had that too, right? How did it develope during your long Diazepam hold and olanzapine taper? before your successful olanzapin taper you were holding for 6 months. Did this help to abate the anxiety/fear or depression? Did you have nervous overstimulation like doing seeing hearing anything is too much to bear? i have many symptoms spike now 1 hour after taking meds (quetiapine and Diazepam four times a day). Did you have this, too? Did it get better? I chsnged from liquid to pills diazepam and I think this started it. And the flue is back every day for hours. Why on earth was I cutting further when a lot of experienced people told me to hold hold hold as did my body? I don’t want to hurt myself. i panicked when I got airhunger the first time and thought this is the diazepam and thus made another cut too fast. We sufferers need knowledgeable guidance! Listen to your body doesn’t work when I am having these terrible restlessness and pressure and airhunger most day. i am so afraid that I messed things up for a too long time. sorry for this cry for encouragement and sharing your memories with my misery. I wish things would be different. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Tanha Posted April 3, 2019 Author Share Posted April 3, 2019 Dear @Altostrata is the sedative effect of quetiapine (and diazepam) something different to the cns/respiratory depressant effect of the paradoxical drug interaction of both meds? Or are their effects similar? in other words: airhunger/difficulty breathing and low bloodpressure and exhaustion, sedation ... ... can these symptoms get worse at lower, more(?) sedating quetiapine doses or is the lowering of the dose giving me relief from the cns/respiratory depression and hence reducing my symptoms? (Isn’t sedation exactly this cns depression effect?) I have to hold for now. Then I would like to reduce quetiapine before I taper diazepam but if this is worsening my oversedation I have to do the veeeery slow diazepam taper first. Aren’t my 16 mg mirtazapine also adding to the oversedation or agitation? that this drug gets more sedative the lower the dose irritates me a lot. I don’t know what this drug is doing for me all together. It used to calm me in the evening but this seems to wear off a little bit. 2010-2018 sertralin, venlafaxin, cymbalta 120 mg, march bupropio, Lorazepam 4 to 0,5 mg qetiapine 200-400 mg Apr mirtazapin 30 - 45 mg, lo tapered, to 0; Apr switch to diazepam 3 mg; jun/jul 15mg, taper to approx. 4,5 mg, Aug: 200 to 400 mg q, 50 mg levomepromazine, m 45 to 30 mg; since tapered q 400-230 mg, m 30 to 15 mg, 1dez m to 16 mg, 4dez 250 mg q, 31. dec 200 mg q March 1, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,5 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 3, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,0 mg diazepam, 16 mg mirtazapine March 4, 2019 - 200 mg quetiapine, 4,2 mg diazepam,16 mg mirtazapine, june 5, 2019 - 100 mg quetiapine, 3 mg Diazepam, 12,185 mg mirtazapine Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted April 4, 2019 Administrator Share Posted April 4, 2019 What do you think the answers are, Tanha? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
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