Tanha: never stabilize under diazepam but want to taper

[erer]

On 4/2/2019 at 8:04 PM, Tanha said:

since yesterday, 14 days after the reduction, I get bad airhunger daily for many hours. You had that too, right? 

How did it develope during your long Diazepam hold and olanzapine taper?

 

I have it for 2 years now. I cannot really say how it developed, but it eases with reductions and every time there is something that makes the drugs leave my system faster, my breathing gets better.

 

On 4/2/2019 at 8:04 PM, Tanha said:

before your successful olanzapin taper you were holding for 6 months. Did this help to abate the anxiety/fear or depression? 

Did you have nervous overstimulation like doing seeing hearing anything is too much to bear?

I think it helped my system to stabilise more from the Cymbalta and sleeping pills CT. I had very many debilitating symptoms still.  But the fear was slowly lessening I guess. Just very-very slowly. 

Overstimulation - YES, a lot, and I still have that, but it has got much better.

 

On 4/2/2019 at 8:04 PM, Tanha said:

i have many symptoms spike now 1 hour after taking meds (quetiapine and Diazepam four times a day). Did you have this, too? Did it get better?

I chsnged from liquid to pills diazepam and I think this started it.

 

I did not use to notice that because I had so many different symptoms throughout the day and the worst for me was always the mornings and the day. Evenings were usually a bit better.

I do notice my breathing getting worse sometimes after taking my meds in the evening.

 

On 4/2/2019 at 8:04 PM, Tanha said:

Why on earth was I cutting further when a lot of experienced people told me to hold hold hold as did my body?

I don’t want to hurt myself.

i panicked when I got airhunger the first time and thought this is the diazepam and thus made another cut too fast. 

 

We sufferers need knowledgeable guidance! Listen to your body doesn’t work when I am having these terrible restlessness and pressure and airhunger most day.

 

i am so afraid that I messed things up for a too long time.

Tanha if you are alive there is still time to take all that good advice into consideration and make better decisions. But most importantly now you don't only have to rely on other people's advice, now you have your own experience and deduction from it that something you did made you feel worse. Just go with that! Your own lesson learned. That is the best you can do. Nobody else can stop you from making choices that make you feel worse, but if you yourself have the experience now that rash decisions were not the way to go, you can base your future decisions on that.

 

All the best to you, Tanha!
I am here if I can help you in any way.

[Tanha]

Erer, thank you so much. Times are ruff at the moment. 

I am holding definitely for a while.

 

so sad that you still deal with airhunger.

[Tanha]

12 hours ago, Altostrata said:

What do you think the answers are, Tanha?

I don’t know. That cutting quetiapine is not helping against low bp and airhunger until I got it out of the system?

 

I hope that sedation and paradoxical drug interaction between quetiapine and diazepam is not the same / has not the same effect in my case. But:

As I lowered the dose (diazepam and in January quetiapine) then the airhunger started.

 

I only know for sure when agitation/overstimulation is getting better then sedation is getting too bad which never leaves me In a comfortable zone.

 

i have to hold now anyway even if the airhunger and exhaustion are terrible. 

 

Cutting diazepam or quetiapine give me bad akathisia and overstimulation and cutting diazepam gives me terrible burning nerve pain and anxiety, too.

 

not to mention the flue.

[Altostrata]

I'm sorry, Tanha, I've given you my best guesses at what to do. I've explained over and over that you appear to have paradoxical reactions from too much Seroquel plus diazepam. I don't know what mirtzapine is doing.

 

As I have explained this many times, please do not continually call my attention to your topics. There's nothing more I can contribute. The rest is up to you, we cannot solve your problems on this Web site.

[Tanha]

On 4/4/2019 at 11:21 AM, erer said:

On 4/2/2019 at 7:04 PM, Tanha said:

before your successful olanzapin taper you were holding for 6 months. Did this help to abate the anxiety/fear or depression? 

Did you have nervous overstimulation like doing seeing hearing anything is too much to bear?

I think it helped my system to stabilise more from the Cymbalta and sleeping pills CT. I had very many debilitating symptoms still.  But the fear was slowly lessening I guess. Just very-very slowly. 

Overstimulation - YES, a lot, and I still have that, but it has got much better.

Dear erer,

 

so good to hear that you made it down to 2,1 mg diazepam. Why do you stop the taper and start valdoxan taper (just curious).

 

what helped you to continue with your hold if things were so ruff? You knew it was an adverse reaction that gave you anxiety, right? 

 

[erer]

On 4/6/2019 at 5:17 PM, Tanha said:

Dear erer,

 

so good to hear that you made it down to 2,1 mg diazepam. Why do you stop the taper and start valdoxan taper (just curious).

 

what helped you to continue with your hold if things were so ruff? You knew it was an adverse reaction that gave you anxiety, right? 

 

 

Did you read the 2,1 mg diazpam part from my thread? I think it is okay to ask about it there too. 

I wanted to taper Diazepam down to some extent because I believe it is a big culprit in my air hunger problem and also I am way more worried about the long term effects of Diazepam (for example of my cognitive function, I can feel it decline on Diazepam) than Valdoxan. 
On the other hand I want to reduce my meds somewhat together because I believe in the synergy between them and I don't want to disrupt that too much. Also I wanted to try and reduce Valdoxan while I still have some buffer (sedative and calming) effect from having Diazepam in my system.

This was a long explaination but I hope it answers your question.

 

What helped me continue with my hold. Well, knowing that by changing anything in my meds things can only get worse and I needed to stabilise (even if that meant stabilising to a very s*itty baseline). So stabilising for me was not having a window or having my symptoms lessen considerably, it was not having averwhelming all-over-the-place scary new symptoms coming about every minute. 

And no - I don't believe I had an adverse reaction. Where did you get that? I had the horrifying panic due to the CT in my opinion. It started with that.

And the psychotic fears came later from trying to cut too much Olanzapine at once (1/4 pill). That was a horrible horrible mistake I made.

[Tanha]

Oh erer, 

seems that i mixed up things. Sorry. Wasn’t it 2,1 mg diazepam? Anyway...

I can totally relate to wanting to hold to stop new symptoms popping up like mad. And you endured a 6 months hold so you must have been in a really bad place then.

 

reducing the overall drug or toxic burden seems a very reasonable goal. 

Sorry for pulling your details into my thread. Didn’t think about that. 

 

I don’t think that diazepam is helping me with sedation after 9 months of use anymore. I understood that together with the quetiapine it has some kind of cns depressive effect though. I take it to prevent withdrawl symptoms only but am not sure if all this is true. My notion is that taking it makes me more depresded, anxious and agitated but who knows - I am on a drug cocktail for Fortune Tellers to sort things out.

 

 

The worry about longterm effects ...

always there if i cannot distract myself .... 

after my latest symptoms I can only say: stupid me, should have never gotten to know that such symptoms exist ... 

yet i hope this bad experience helps me to hold hold hold! Never managed to do this before. I realize only now that I have done nothing but cutting the whole year. Well I kind of knew before that this is not advisable but I didn’t really get the message or have a choice - reducing the quetiapine substantially enabled me to have feelings at all and that I can feel my body parts. I had terrible movement problems on high doses and I am still on a high dose.

Just the tapering time ahead is daunting me as it does fore everybody.

 

Spring is really breaking up now and I regret sitting inside because I am so overly sensitized that a walk is too much most of the day. 

 

1 hour ago, erer said:

And no - I don't believe I had an adverse reaction. Where did you get that? I had the horrifying panic due to the CT in my opinion.

You are right. I just thought because you wrote that the fear subsided after stopping olanzapine. But that doesn’t necessarily mean it was an adverse reaction. 

🙃

Edited April 7, 2019 by Tanha

[erer]

1 hour ago, Tanha said:

seems that i mixed up things. Sorry. Wasn’t it 2,1 mg diazepam? Anyway...

 

1 hour ago, Tanha said:

Sorry for pulling your details into my thread. Didn’t think about that. 

Don't worry about it! I was just surprised where that information suddenly came into the conversation as I didn't remember mentioning it on this thread. But perhaps I did, I didn't check  My point was it is ok if you want to ask me about my drugs and dosages on my thread. 

But yes, if it is specific advice regarding your own situation, it is better to keep it all here in one place.

 

I am at 2,1 mg of Diazepam indeed.

 

 

I also don't feel the sedation, but theoretically it could be dampening the reactions. Dont' really know. But I do feel the unwanted effect on my cognition - memory, planning etc.

 

I also wanted to say that I am here always describing my experience and just to comment on what I chose. As I said I don't believe I had an adverse reaction. So I believe for me holding was the most reasonable thing to do. I don't know what advice to give if someone believes they are having an adverse reaction. I do not dear to tell anyone to rapidly reduce their meds, I would not have survived that, but I am not saying that it is always wrong to reduce more rapidly in case of a reaction.

So... it all still comes down to what you feel based on your experience and how you are handling the day-to-day life, what kind of support you can get etc, what you are able to do with these drugs keeping in mind you have the one goal to work towards - survive this.

 

(Also, I often feel it would be great if I could speak/write German or you could speak Estonian because our language structure is so much more similar and I can see this different syntax logic in our sentence structure when we write in English  )

 

 

 

 

[Tanha]

Does anyone experience painful emotions in withdrawl? 

[erer]

18 hours ago, Tanha said:

Does anyone experience painful emotions in withdrawl? 

Yes, very much so.

[Tanha]

I had thought so. Good to know that your normal range of emotions is back as you said. This is such an ordeal. 

 

Holding is the hardest part.

 

dear @erer

 

how do you dose your liquid diazepam?

you mix it with water and then take some out with a syringe?

 

i found out too late that my liquid didn’t mix with water, suffered, switched to tablets, suffered more (producer says it mixes evenly with water). I mix it in a plastic bottle and shake it vigorously. Everything seems dissolved. Then I take some out with a syringe. I still suffer but hope it is the aftermath of my inconsistent liquid-water mix until two weeks ago.

the hospital made this mixture and I had to store it for more than 24 hours when I went on home-weekends. I know from a pharmacist that the mix looses 10% diazepam in 24 hours due to lightsensitivity. I am so sensitive to these fluctuations as it seems. 

So i hold for very long now and hope I got a safe Method of taking my 4,5 mg diazepam now. Unfortunately I tried to dissolve it in milk last week once and it was a disaster. Now I beat myself up for experimenting with my health.

i often think of you and your six month hold with all these terrible symptoms. 

[Tanha]

Dear @erer

 

how do you reduce such small amounts from liquid diazepam technically? Do you dilute it with water? 

[Tanha]

Thank you erer for your pm-reply.

 

things are still very very bad but I have windows. That doesn’t mean symptomfree but a little bit more bearable.

 

I must say that i screwed up my diazepam taper for the last four months. I am too embarrassed to tell how my tapering method was but it was very inconsistent (by accident, even the doctors did it wrong). Instead I was thinking I was holding a stable dose. Wrong. When I found out (thank you brainfog for very delayed thinking) I was in the midst of the worst and still am (with windows though). 

(Milktitration doesn‘t work for me!). Since I seem to burn internally from adrenaline (that’s not how it works but it feels like that).

 

Somehow my thinking started to work again now. I am in severe physical pain every second day and my latest worst symptom is a constant relentless emotional pain whenever I want to be activ (physically or mentally or emotionally). This feeds anxiety and depression because doing nothing in order to avoid any (painful) stimulus is bad for healing. Neurodegeneration. 

 

Tachycardia has improved which is a relief. Akathisia has improved but still tortures me. 

I don’t know where this looong journey will take me. I cannot imagine to find peace in death so I hang on, breathing, walking a bit, being forced into apathy as long as this „pain of activity“ lasts. 

I read in a German forum (adfd) that reducing mirtazapine can cause this strange symptom. I reduced last in October 2018. hm. 

 

As Erer would have said:

must. survive. another day.

 

 

[Tanha]

Update:

 

today is my first window since May 2018. I am still suffering but today all arousel all pain all akathisia and overstimulation is almost bearable. 

 

Although i discovered a shocking new symptom which worries me to death:

 

the meds and the withdrawals crashed my histaminregulation. I developed a very serious histamine-intolerance a week ago. 

All my meds influence histamine heavily and since two of them are strong antihistamines (quetiapine and mirtazapine) and that prolonged use provides me with too much histamine permanently? I am desperate 2.0.

 

This window doesn’t make sense yet it is!!!!

[eymen23]

16 minutes ago, Tanha said:

Update:

 

today is my first window since May 2018. I am still suffering but today all arousel all pain all akathisia and overstimulation is almost bearable. 

 

Although i discovered a shocking new symptom which worries me to death:

 

the meds and the withdrawals crashed my histaminregulation. I developed a very serious histamine-intolerance a week ago. 

All my meds influence histamine heavily and since two of them are strong antihistamines (quetiapine and mirtazapine) and that prolonged use provides me with too much histamine permanently? I am desperate 2.0.

 

This window doesn’t make sense yet it is!!!!

 

Tanha,

 

This is wonderful news. I am so glad you are having some relief, even if it turns out to be brief. I hope this is a sign of healing and things to come.

 

Quetiapine and Mirtazapine act as antihistamines, in other words they act to decrease the level of histamine. Hence your fear that they will provide you with too much histamine is thankfully not a problem.

 

However, as you reduce these drugs, we can expect that your histamine levels will become a little dysregulated during your taper, in that there will be some rebound effects. This is fairly common during withdrawal and many members report symptoms of histamine intolerance such as sinus pain, congestion, stomach cramps, occasional hives etc. 

 

We must also remember that it is allergy season in many parts of the world and so it’s likely that this is contributing to your symptoms. 

 

Thankfully, there are ways of dealing with histamine intolerance during your taper. 

 

1) You can adopt a diet lower in histamine.  You can find lists of high histamine foods online, but usually they are aged or fermented foods/beverages such as cheese, beer, wine, vinegar, pickled foods, tomato ketchup etc. 

 

2) Reduce your allergy burden. I have mild hay fever and this year I have invested in an air purifier. This removes pollen and other allergens from indoor air and I have seen a significant difference in symptoms. Within an hour or two of turning it on, any itchiness of my eyes or nose disappears, even on high pollens days. You can also avoid going outside unless completely necessary, or put Vaseline inside your nostrils to help capture allergens.

 

These are some examples of how to ease your histamine intolerance symptoms, but you may need to work to find your personal triggers. Ultimately, these symptoms should ease up over time and as your body stabilises.

[Tanha]

Eymen23 

 

good ideas. Thank you for your thoughts. 

[Tanha]

I am on a low histamine diet now. 

Seems to help a bit. 

Also reducing the diazepam helps with the allergy-like symptoms (which are still bad but ...) or it seems so.

 

After a month of crippling flue (withdrawl-flue or sideeffect) and other terrible symptoms with lots of agitation, crazy heartrate and more and more I have a windowish day today. Feelings are coming back big time.

Bad side: lots of Agitation and another bout of akathisia which could be worse but this symptom scares the s... out of me. Didn’t have that for months. I hope I didn’t wake it again.

 

It seems that the quetiapine is of no help anymore but cutting isn‘t much of an option at the moment. 

I notice that 2 hours after taking it my nervous oversensitivity is getting worse. 

That gives a bit of hope that reducing it will ease things and hopefully withdrawl and the time afterwards are not going to be as bad as things are now.

 

[Tanha]

Dear eymen23,

 

yes, I do eat normal amounts, low histamine though, and extra hempprotein and oats. Lots of vegetable, no processed food, all as fresh as possible. Green salad everyday, cheese,...

 

thank you for asking. 

Eating more is difficult but my dietary logbook says I eat enough.

 

i am sorry for my crazy „taper“. I am basically giving in to the medical system rushing myself most probably into deeper hell longterm. 

Me and my wife are so exhausted of all that incapability and suffering. I know that a slow gradual taper of one med at a time is the way to go. 

Mit seems that i either want to know now if my body is coping without meds (me dearest wish since April 2018) and/or I want to hurt myself even more with an ill advised taper by my pdoc. I cannot imagine one day with less agony at all. 

I don’t trust the windowinsh moments. I don’t believe that is my body Healing although I read so much about this on sa.

 

I cannot handle this anymore. Sadly. 

[eymen23]

Tanha,

 

Glad the low histamine diet is providing some subtle relief. Cheese can be a high histamine food, I’m assuming this isn’t aged/mature cheese, which is high in histamine?

 

I’m so sorry you’re in this difficult situation, with so much suffering. I can imagine how exhausting it is for both you and your loved ones. 

 

Unfortunately Tanha, life sometimes presents us with these incredibly difficult challenges, full of uncertainty and great pain. Something that helps me and I gently offer to you, is accepting that this is all totally out of your control and submitting to the process. I am not religious, but sometimes at night I will close my eyes and gently remind myself that this is not in my control and gently try to welcome whatever comes next. Of course I can control my taper, but the rest is out of my hands and I often try to remind myself of this and ‘unburden myself’ by accepting that. Usually it works, but sometimes it doesn’t.

 

One way or another, the pain and the suffering will end, and that is for certain. Try to put your faith in your body and its capacity to heal. Desperation about the future and what comes next is natural, but it only serves to weaken us and make us feel more vulnerable. Please try to find sense and peace in all of this, even a little. 

[ChessieCat]

https://www.boredpanda.com/depressed-artist-illustrations-anxiety

[Tanha]

8 hours ago, eymen23 said:

One way or another, the pain and the suffering will end, and that is for certain. Try to put your faith in your body and its capacity to heal. Desperation about the future and what comes next is natural, but it only serves to weaken us and make us feel more vulnerable. Please try to find sense and peace in all of this, even a little. 

Thank you so much.

 

These words mean a lot to me since you believe in it for me kind of. 

[Tanha]

4 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

https://www.boredpanda.com/depressed-artist-illustrations-anxiety

Wow. Thank you chessiecat.

[Tanha]

I stopped taking all meds four days ago. 

I am so badly agitated and at the same time deadly exhausted and am in so much agony and pain 24/7 rhat I don’t think I can survive this. I cannot take any more medicine either. 

I don’t understand my path.

suicidal thinking is overwhelming although I know it is the withdrawl. Anxiety and depression are relentless. 

I take Minute by Minute in utter fear of what I have done to myself and the biological processes.

Since three weeks (I started cutting drastically then) I cannot stop pacing round after round feeling too weak to do this at the same time. I cannot sit a minute during the day. Not a minute. The restlessness and pressure goe through body and mind and they are all consuming.

i cannot calm myself down. Every single task or thought is too upsetting. 

I am withdrawing since May 2018 and haven’t had a peaceful moment since.

the agitated exhaustion is unbearable. 

I wish I could have withdrawn slow and safe. I don’t expect this to get better in time. I know what damage I have done.

i don’t have proper words for my ongoing despair und agony. Barely eating and sleeping. Everything is like cutting glass inside my body. 

[bubble]

I don't understand why you did this to yourself. Especially when you started doing so well...

[Tanha]

Bubble, 

I actually didn’t do well at all.

I did it because I am so desperate. I know the consequences very well. I expect longterm agony. It also could be an act of suicidal behavior (cutting all medication to zero). I actually don’t know. I was hospitalized for 14 months and still cannot start doing any normal things like boiling water or reading my post. I just wanted to let people know how badly these medications and too fast withdrawals as I do harm people. As you can see I did a very chaotic taper in the last one and a half years. I don’t know why I cannot do a systematically slow taper as i always tried to do that! I have crippling flue and severe agitation/restlessness since May 2018 besides all the other symptoms and that drives me crazy doing wrong things.

please, I do not at all recommend doing fast tapers. Slow taper is the only way and I always wanted to to that.

 

i see that you are doing a very sensible slow taper. That is so good (and I know that this isn’t easy, too.)

[Melissa5000]

Hello Tanha! Ik read your topic. I can't imagine how brave you were when you tapered off all your meds! You were allready in heavy withdrawal.

 

I understand you did it out of despair. You cannot live with the meds and not without the meds. 

 

How are you now? How do you cope and get through the day and night?

 

I wish you lots of healing! 

[Tanha]

Dear melissa5000,

 

i am not coping. I am not well at all. 

Sorry. Things are more than bad. 

[Melissa5000]

Hello Tanha, I am worried about you. How are you now? 

 

I really hope you will find some relief soon!

[Tanha]

Dear melissa5000

 

thank you for caring. No relief. Getting worse. Akathisia, iatrogenic mental damage, terror-agitation, most extremely painful flue, insomnia, increasing tremor, fear flooding me all the time, painful depression, internal pressure, internal burning pain, loosing weight rapidly, food intolerances, burning intestines. Have no rest day and night. Pacing in horror. 

Sorry for such a miserable report.

 

i am not taking any meds since 6 weeks.

[Ethan]

Hi Tanha, I'm baffled about how you have handled no meds for 6 weeks after how high you were, you have to be the strongest person there is. I admire your courage and have faith if you have handled 6 weeks you can do anything. Distract yourself watching romantic movies, it has helped me a lot in the past. You will be in my prayers.

[Melissa5000]

Dear Tanha, your symptoms sound like hell on earth. That withdrawal gets worse first before it gets better sounds familiar to me. 

I really hope it doesn't get worse from now on! I do hope you have had the worst moments now behind you and that healing finally may start.

You are so extremely brave! You must have a very strong mind to keep going! 

 

You must be one of the cases who suffers the worst at the moment. That worries me. I hope your wife helps you a lot. You are in my mind. Keep us informed!

 

Take care! 

[Tanha]

Melissa5000,

 

you are in a horrorstory yourself, Right? You are fighting the pain for sooooo Long. How are you doing?

i am not coping at all. Getting worse.

I Met a woman who tried to Cope with the pain, insomnia and Bad akathisia after Root canal treatment for six months. She had terrible burning in the head. 

when did it get better for you, if so? You said that it gets worse before it gets better! How is your experience with that?

i cannot survive this much longer but the medication doesn’t help. Tried a lot last year. 

Did you have a neurologist looking at your pain? Polyneuropathy ?

[Melissa5000]

Hi Tanha I have a hard time.  I'm tapering 1 mg lyrica at the moment and I get los of burning pains. I have 124 mg left to taper so I have to go trought this at least 124 times in the future..........

 

Whenever I taper my symptoms first increase in the coming weeks or months. I takes a while before it does not get any worse. From then Improvements come very slowly. 

 

The neurologist told me my symptoms are from withdrawal and that I am completely healthy. No damage.

 

I really hope you get some relief soon.

 

How are you now? How do you get trough the day?

 

 

[Tanha]

I am not coping physically.

i have crushing „flue“, musklepain, kidneys that get damaged continuously (rust Red Color). 

Burning pain in the mouth and on tongue  like Sunburn. Very Bad. 

Sitting in er fourth time this month. 

I loose muscles by the Minute.

akathisia, bad nervous overstimulation. 

I try doing things but my body symptoms are too consuming.

pain pain pain, anxiety, ...

terrible weakness so bad my Body thinks it dies and pushes adrenaline in. 

I am running 8 hours a day. 

My wife is totally lost. 

I am too. 

Iron deficiency bad but cannot take iron due to kidney problems. 

Wirh iron less akathisia but I cannot take iron.

 

Bad malnutrition. Stress too bad to survive.

sorry Melissa 5000. i am loosing it especially because the iron supplementation was my last hope to get rid of the terrible restlessness. I wear sunglasses indoors and outdoors. 

My vision is bad. 

Sorry for all this yelling for help. 

[Melissa5000]

Dear Tanha it breaks my heart that you are suffering so much!

 

I discovered a few days ago that when I am covered with symptoms my breathing is quick and shallow. It is like mild hyperventilation. I read that chronic or temporary hyperventilation at a modest level does increase many symptoms! Even for people who were not on meds! So now I am paying more attention to my breathing. I I suffer too much now I just sit down, close my mouth and start deep breathing through my nose to my belly. I believe it helps a bit. 

 

Movement is very good but 8 hours a day running? That seems too much! How do you manage to run with all that musclepain? 

 

Can you eat more food with iron in it? Maybe vegetables in a smoothie? Beef? If supplements don't work food can do wonders. 

 

I can barely walk because of the nervepain. But I am practising walking by small walks or on a treadmill in the gym. Unlike you I cannot keep walking while I am in pain. My pain gets worse if I would do that.

 

Your problem is probably that you cannot relax and sit down. That makes me thinking. Maybe you can practise sitting down and relax! How long can you sit now? 2 seconds? a bit more? Maybe you can just try to sit down a few times a day. You start with maybe 2 seconds, make it 3! Then 5, 10, a minute.......... and so on. Jus a few times a day. Do whatever you can. Maybe you cannot sit complelely still. But sit down as quiet as you can.  Make a game of it. One day you must see some progress. That would be motivating!

 

I have this problem with all kinds of exercise and movement. I can hardy move. It triggers nervepain and many symptoms. 

 

Can you listen to a short mindfullness video on you tube? It helps relaxing. Maybe you can listen to it on a treadmill. Try to cycle as slowly as possible to calm down as much as you can. This way you don't need to sit completely still for a longer period. 

 

There is another thing that I am trying to learn myself. If I get too many symptoms I suffer anxiety too. I read that when you get scared of all the pain and symptoms that the brain thinks you are in danger. Then the brain fires even more symptoms and pain!

So now I try to be as indifferent as possible when I suffer pain and symptoms. It is very difficult! I know but I am trying this now. It seems to help a little bit. Maybe it gets better when I practise this longer. I suspect it. Fear and panic probably triggers more symptoms. I try to calm myself down whenever I can now. 

 

I hope this works for you too to find a little relief. Unfortunatelly I have not found a quick fix yet! But I think our brains are overreacting to tapering. Mine certainly does. There is something stuck in a loop in our brains. I wish I would know how to make it undone. 

I see many similarities with chronic pain, ME/CVS, MCS etc.  

 

Time is for sure a healer. 

 

Take care!

[Gem92]

On 8/16/2019 at 1:49 PM, Tanha said:

I am not coping physically.

i have crushing „flue“, musklepain, kidneys that get damaged continuously (rust Red Color). 

Burning pain in the mouth and on tongue  like Sunburn. Very Bad. 

Sitting in er fourth time this month. 

I loose muscles by the Minute.

akathisia, bad nervous overstimulation. 

I try doing things but my body symptoms are too consuming.

pain pain pain, anxiety, ...

terrible weakness so bad my Body thinks it dies and pushes adrenaline in. 

I am running 8 hours a day. 

My wife is totally lost. 

I am too. 

Iron deficiency bad but cannot take iron due to kidney problems. 

Wirh iron less akathisia but I cannot take iron.

 

Bad malnutrition. Stress too bad to survive.

sorry Melissa 5000. i am loosing it especially because the iron supplementation was my last hope to get rid of the terrible restlessness. I wear sunglasses indoors and outdoors. 

My vision is bad. 

Sorry for all this yelling for help. 

Hi Tanha. I read your posts and I am so sorry you're suffering like this. I too am very sick. I was CT off a high dose of Lexapro(most powerful SSRI) and for a year was drugged up like crazy and it just made matters worse. I am bedbound and drown in terror and fear. My brain feels like it's on fire. So many horrific symptoms. So bad I can hardly bathe or dress myself. I just want you to know you are not alone in this and to please hang on. I am still on a drug and you aren't. Now your brain can take the time and figure things out. It will get there in time.