Jump to content
Jubbachub

Jubbachub - Reached Peace at 6 months Cold Turkey

Recommended Posts

Jubbachub

Friends, I'm here to tell you that I consider myself recovered (for the most part) from severe withdrawal and adverse reactions to multiple medications. Let me tell you my story:

 

When I was 18 I was prescribed 10mg of Escitalopram (Lexapro) for health anxiety. The medication never really helped me, just gave me side effects (sexual and weight gain mainly) but I took it as directed for 4 years. I spoke to my doctor about cutting down, and was advised to wean off over a few weeks and stop. I did as directed and experienced what I now know was withdrawals. At the time I didn't know what was happening, and due to the anxiety around the withdrawal symptoms, was advised to go back to the medication on the basis that I was having a relapse (yes I know, no need to say it).

 

When I reinstated, my body rejected the medication, and I essentially became incapacitated with unremitting symptoms. I was then given a variety of benzodiazepines, and tried on a bunch of different medications, all of which made me considerably worse. The symptoms I experienced through this process were:

 

-Auditory and visual hallucinations 

-Distorted senses

-Disassociation

-Paranoia

-Brain zaps

-Amnesia

-Insomnia

-A severely degraded memory

-Intrusive tormenting thoughts

-Flashbacks

-Sleep paralysis

-Night terrors/sweats

-Ringing/buzzing sound in my head

-Body temperature regulation issues

-Couldn't hear properly

-Depersonalisation

-Derealisation

-Psychosis

-Limb/muscle weakness

-Feeling weightless (like I was floating)

-Suicidal thoughts

-Severe Anxiety

-Uncontrolled body movements/twitches -Burning nerve pain

-Mood swings/crying spells/extremely amplified emotions

-Inability to cope with stress

-Balance issues

-Vision problems

-Fast heart rate (resting constantly around 110bpm, normally 50bpm)

-Unable to make decisions

-Difficulty rationalising/understanding information

-Poor concentration

-Slurring words

-Hot flushes

-Anhedonia

-Food and drink sensitivities

-Extreme fatigue

-Rapid weight loss

 

After about 3 months of this agony and becoming a guinea pig to psychiatry, I quit all medication cold turkey as a very last resort (Prozac and Ativan). I then swore to myself that I would not go back under any circumstances.

 

My recovery pattern was something like this: After stopping all medication, the psychosis, uncontrolled body movements and paranoia resolved for the most part within about 2 weeks. I then went through about 2 months of all the other symptoms cycling, I was barely functional, getting up to drink water if I could. All I wanted to do was die. At the end of that 2 months, I would say that 50% of my symptoms had gone and I was left with mainly amnesia, crying spells, heightened emotions, very poor memory, flashbacks, poor stress tolerance, disassociation, depersonalisation and derealisation. Still in utter misery with flickers of hope every now and again. Within the 3 months of the 50% symptoms cycling I had some great improvements. Windows and waves broke up into cycles. Windows I felt almost 'normal', but waves were still as bad. At 6 months off cold turkey I had what I'd call my final wave. I had almost every symptom come back up. Being honest, I almost ended my life. It was like being back at the start of it all, and I felt hopeless. If it hadn't been for a phone call I received from my mother at the time, I don't think I'd be here. When that wave ended, I felt sense of peace. It was almost like a final surge of all symptoms before reaching glory.

 

Look, I want to tell you that at that point I was 100% recovered but It's not that simple. After that last wave I'd say that I hit 80% recovered. I still had some residual issues in relation to sleep, memory and occasional flashbacks, but nothing that significantly impacted my quality of life. I'm now back at work, and have a lovely new partner that I can start life again with. I'm now 7 months off, and still have some lingering symptoms, but I think that what's left will also dissipate in time. I do however believe a few things sped my recovery along which I want to share with you.

 

Acupuncture. For me, this would have to be the main thing I feel that sped up my recovery. Every time I was in there I went through a lot of emotional release and symptoms would sometimes ramp up, but I always came out a little bit better.

 

Ekhart Tolle: Listening to Ekhart Tolle and practicing the power of now was a big help in stepping out of the mind. Tuning into meditation when all else failed helped.

 

Surviving Antidepressants: Of course, the support of you guys when nobody else would understand or help was a blessing. The supplements, research and coping tools on this website really kept me focused on recovery.

 

I truly do consider myself recovered. Not fully, but if you told me I'd be where I am now at the start of this I never would have believed you. I'm optimistic that the remaining few symptoms will dissipate over the next few months. I'm now happy and no longer trapped in hell.

 

I will say that what's left is a seething resentment and frustration in the medical model. The way that I was treated through the process is not okay. I try not to hold onto anger, but denial by the psychiactric system led to severe difficulties getting help for something that wasn't believed or recognised. I was left fending for myself in immense distress like a lot of you are. I'm now doing my part to try and change this and will continue to educate people when I can.

 

To all of you, I know how horrifying this experience is, and I still get upset today when I think of you all being in the state I was. I wish I could help you more, but I want you to know that you're going to be okay. I'm sure you've heard it a lot, but time really is the best healing agent for this. Do what you can, even if that's lying there incapacitated. Don't give up, It gets better.

 

In the nicest way possible, I won't be coming back to this website for a while. I came here in terror and pain, and when I visit now a lot of horrible memories arise. I need to put this behind me. But hopefully I'll return one day when I'm ready.

 

I love you all. Stay strong warriors.

 

-Jubbachub

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Glosmom

Thank you so much for coming back to share this!  Such valuable and hopeful information.  Best Wishes to you!! Glosmom

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
RusTW

Jubbachub thank you for coming back and sharing your story. This gives us hope about every wave possibly being the last.

Congratulations  always the best to you

Russ 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
manny03

Sounds like all the symptoms I've gone through during my Poop out and Withdrawals. At the moment, I have some lingering from plethora that you listed such G.I sensitivities, breakouts, tremors, blurred vision. This give me hope, I'll finally get out of it soon. 

 

Congrats, Jub. 

 

:) 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Waiting12

Wow I found someone with my same story! I’m glad you are feeling well! Congrats.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
India

Thank you @Jubbachub so wonderful to hear of your recovery. It gives me hope. Your honestly about your suffering is so important. You describe the desperation well. I am at the 8month mark, I cold turkeyed and spent nearly 3 months off .. I made so little improvement I went back on to 6mg in September but still have a litany of symptoms. I first started reducing in September 2017 from 20mg, I did a cold turkey in December 2017-February 2018 and reinstated to 10mg ( got some relief that time). It’s been a long ride. 

 

So glad you got your life back and sorry for all your suffering. I just hold onto hope now and stories like yours. It has nearly broken me but stories like yours help me hold on.

 

The desperation has been humiliating but it’s a terror everyone here fathoms. 

 

Well done for having the strength to survive it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Hannahe

Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻❤️

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
laydefish

Hi @Jubbachub& Congratulations on being successful during this difficult Journey- You are truly an Inspiration to all of us healing- Thank you for sharing!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
marie123

Congrats! How wonderful for you. I understand about not coming back for a while. Please let us know when you are ready how you are doing. Peace to you.

 

Marie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
excuse

Dude.. read my story.. stay strong.. me fully recovered.. Brain is in the normal condition :) Pray to God. Meditate. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Henryk12
On 3/8/2019 at 4:16 PM, Jubbachub said:

Friends, I'm here to tell you that I consider myself recovered (for the most part) from severe withdrawal and adverse reactions to multiple medications. Let me tell you my story:

 

When I was 18 I was prescribed 10mg of Escitalopram (Lexapro) for health anxiety. The medication never really helped me, just gave me side effects (sexual and weight gain mainly) but I took it as directed for 4 years. I spoke to my doctor about cutting down, and was advised to wean off over a few weeks and stop. I did as directed and experienced what I now know was withdrawals. At the time I didn't know what was happening, and due to the anxiety around the withdrawal symptoms, was advised to go back to the medication on the basis that I was having a relapse (yes I know, no need to say it).

 

When I reinstated, my body rejected the medication, and I essentially became incapacitated with unremitting symptoms. I was then given a variety of benzodiazepines, and tried on a bunch of different medications, all of which made me considerably worse. The symptoms I experienced through this process were:

 

-Auditory and visual hallucinations 

-Distorted senses

-Disassociation

-Paranoia

-Brain zaps

-Amnesia

-Insomnia

-A severely degraded memory

-Intrusive tormenting thoughts

-Flashbacks

-Sleep paralysis

-Night terrors/sweats

-Ringing/buzzing sound in my head

-Body temperature regulation issues

-Couldn't hear properly

-Depersonalisation

-Derealisation

-Psychosis

-Limb/muscle weakness

-Feeling weightless (like I was floating)

-Suicidal thoughts

-Severe Anxiety

-Uncontrolled body movements/twitches -Burning nerve pain

-Mood swings/crying spells/extremely amplified emotions

-Inability to cope with stress

-Balance issues

-Vision problems

-Fast heart rate (resting constantly around 110bpm, normally 50bpm)

-Unable to make decisions

-Difficulty rationalising/understanding information

-Poor concentration

-Slurring words

-Hot flushes

-Anhedonia

-Food and drink sensitivities

-Extreme fatigue

-Rapid weight loss

 

After about 3 months of this agony and becoming a guinea pig to psychiatry, I quit all medication cold turkey as a very last resort (Prozac and Ativan). I then swore to myself that I would not go back under any circumstances.

 

My recovery pattern was something like this: After stopping all medication, the psychosis, uncontrolled body movements and paranoia resolved for the most part within about 2 weeks. I then went through about 2 months of all the other symptoms cycling, I was barely functional, getting up to drink water if I could. All I wanted to do was die. At the end of that 2 months, I would say that 50% of my symptoms had gone and I was left with mainly amnesia, crying spells, heightened emotions, very poor memory, flashbacks, poor stress tolerance, disassociation, depersonalisation and derealisation. Still in utter misery with flickers of hope every now and again. Within the 3 months of the 50% symptoms cycling I had some great improvements. Windows and waves broke up into cycles. Windows I felt almost 'normal', but waves were still as bad. At 6 months off cold turkey I had what I'd call my final wave. I had almost every symptom come back up. Being honest, I almost ended my life. It was like being back at the start of it all, and I felt hopeless. If it hadn't been for a phone call I received from my mother at the time, I don't think I'd be here. When that wave ended, I felt sense of peace. It was almost like a final surge of all symptoms before reaching glory.

 

Look, I want to tell you that at that point I was 100% recovered but It's not that simple. After that last wave I'd say that I hit 80% recovered. I still had some residual issues in relation to sleep, memory and occasional flashbacks, but nothing that significantly impacted my quality of life. I'm now back at work, and have a lovely new partner that I can start life again with. I'm now 7 months off, and still have some lingering symptoms, but I think that what's left will also dissipate in time. I do however believe a few things sped my recovery along which I want to share with you.

 

Acupuncture. For me, this would have to be the main thing I feel that sped up my recovery. Every time I was in there I went through a lot of emotional release and symptoms would sometimes ramp up, but I always came out a little bit better.

 

Ekhart Tolle: Listening to Ekhart Tolle and practicing the power of now was a big help in stepping out of the mind. Tuning into meditation when all else failed helped.

 

Surviving Antidepressants: Of course, the support of you guys when nobody else would understand or help was a blessing. The supplements, research and coping tools on this website really kept me focused on recovery.

 

I truly do consider myself recovered. Not fully, but if you told me I'd be where I am now at the start of this I never would have believed you. I'm optimistic that the remaining few symptoms will dissipate over the next few months. I'm now happy and no longer trapped in hell.

 

I will say that what's left is a seething resentment and frustration in the medical model. The way that I was treated through the process is not okay. I try not to hold onto anger, but denial by the psychiactric system led to severe difficulties getting help for something that wasn't believed or recognised. I was left fending for myself in immense distress like a lot of you are. I'm now doing my part to try and change this and will continue to educate people when I can.

 

To all of you, I know how horrifying this experience is, and I still get upset today when I think of you all being in the state I was. I wish I could help you more, but I want you to know that you're going to be okay. I'm sure you've heard it a lot, but time really is the best healing agent for this. Do what you can, even if that's lying there incapacitated. Don't give up, It gets better.

 

In the nicest way possible, I won't be coming back to this website for a while. I came here in terror and pain, and when I visit now a lot of horrible memories arise. I need to put this behind me. But hopefully I'll return one day when I'm ready.

 

I love you all. Stay strong warriors.

 

-Jubbachub

@Jubbachub do you have feelings your head is been hit by hammer though not painful but making horrible sounds and seem like bouncing around inside your head? Please I need your ASAP response before I go back to the crappy drug 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
hussy

you are lucky to get back to normal after 6 months.

I cold turkey after 4 months effaxor and anfter 2.8 years i am still here as bad as ever

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy