Doublespresso: will my brain recover from Seroquel?

[Doublespresso]

Hello, my name is Eric and I'm 20 years old. Since around 12 years old, I've had anxiety and mild depression.

 

7 months ago, I went to a psychiatrist and was prescribed Seroquel XR for some weird reason, which I only later found out was an antipsychotic.

 

I took 300mg a day for 2 months, and became emotionally numb and basically dead inside. I decided to quit the drug, reducing the dose every 5 days and around a month later I was off it completely. It's been 5 months since I completely stopped taking the antipsychotic, but I still feel the same way. I feel disconnected from reality, completely apathetic about everything, emotionally numb and anhedonic. I am scared that the drug permanently damaged my brain. All the doctors I've seen since told me that it's impossible that the Seroquel is still affecting me in any way...

 

Has anyone here recovered from these antipsychotic-induced symptoms?

How long will it take if it's possible? It honestly feels like me brain has been irreversibly damaged...

Is there anything I can do to speed up recovery?

 

Thank you for your time.. I'm really desperate to return to my old self, the way I was before the Seroquel. Will I ever be 100% myself again?

 

 

Edited March 22, 2019 by ChessieCat
added space/removed mod note

[Altostrata]

Welcome, DE.

 

I am sorry that psychiatrist prescribed an absurd amount of Seroquel XR for you for no good reason. It seems you had a bad reaction to it. Emotional deadening is a very common side effect of Seroquel.

 

It can take many month for the nervous system to recover from a bad reaction to a psychiatric drug. This will be very gradual and frustrating and may occur in The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

You will need to be patient and "fake it until you make it." Getting at least a half-hour of gentle exercise each day can help. How are you sleeping?

 

A lot of people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

PS Adolescents are naturally moody and growing up can be hard.

[Doublespresso]

Hey,

I sleep a lot (>10 hrs) and wake up feeling dead... I didn't see any noticeable improvement these last few months...

 

Do antipsychotics actually cause permanent brain damage like so many people claim? Or is it just really long drug withdrawal and in time it's possible to recover 100%?

 

I really can't live the rest of my life knowing that I permanently damaged my brain because of this stupid mistake...

 

Also I can't really find proper full 100% recovery stories from antipsychotics.

[Carmie]

Hi Eric, 

 

Welcome to SA from me too. I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. No, the antipsychotics don’t cause permanent brain damage, our brain has an amazing power to heal itself. Withdrawals can certainly be very long though.That’s the way our brains heal themselves, the windows and waves pattern. I’m glad you’re sleeping despite coming off the Seroquel so quickly. Most people coming off it have really bad insomnia. 

 

I’ve been tapering off Seroquel for many years, and have got many more to go. I started at 300mg, but I’m down to 7.25mg now. I’m only tapering by just over 3% now. It still surprises me how well you’re sleeping, that really is good. Sleep is needed for our brains to heal. I remember not taking my tablet one night and I didn’t sleep whatsoever. 

 

Wishing you all the best in your healing journey 💚

[Doublespresso]

Hey Carmie, thanks for the welcome.

 

Honestly, the only symptoms that bother me so much are the emotional numbness and the dissociation from reality.

I feel like these 2 are at the root of everything else. I couldn't find anyone who completely recovered from these 2 antipsychotic-induced problems, which really makes me wonder if it's some irreversible brain damage...

[RusTW]

Its WD not brain damage. I was on 300mg too.im gradually recovering. Windows and waves.you will heal dont focus on that.

 Russ

 

[Carmie]

Hi Doublespresso, 

 

Five months off the medication is really a short time, your brain will probably take a while still before it’s fully recovered. It’s taken some people many years after coming off meds before they recover, especially when they have tapered too quickly or have gone cold turkey. You will get there!

 

Sending hugs🤗

[Cnick91]

I wasn’t taking Seroquel but it took me over a year before I started to improve after tapering to quickly from Effexor. The cognitive issues for me started shortly after my first dose of meds when I was about your age and lasted over one year post medication use. Your brain isn’t permanently damaged like others have said. Time is really what’s going to heal you. If your interested I can share what has helped me through this journey. 

Good luck

[Kronos18]

Hi.Dissociation and emotional numbness come often together.I’m withdrawing from Lexapro and currently i’m in the begining of the third month of withdrawal, these symptoms are here for me aswell as fatigue, muscle weakness, diziness, anxiety.Have you tried to do something about it? Do you go out, socialise?because this condition often does not go away on it’s own and needs the help of one to improve.I think the best way to get over it is to forget it and live your life, you need to retrain your brain somehow, this condition comes often with anxiety, so you must target the anxiety in order to rewire your brain.I can tell you from my experience because 1 month ago i wasn’t able to even socialise with my parents because of the anxiety and now i’m even going out with my friends despite the symptoms.I even drive, go places, like today i had a trip with my friends at 120 km away from my city and i drove there and back home.It’s getting better, but you have to gain control over the symptoms for it to improve.I know it’s hard, in the first weeks i was afraid to even go shopping, and now I can go anywhere.And don’t be afraid of stories of people who have it for years, don’t forget this “PEOPLE WHO CURED THIS DON’T SPEND TIME ON FORUMS LOOKING FOR ANSWERS”, because the cure is YOU and your will to live again.I’m sure you will get past this, just you make sure to take the right steps, you can’t just wait to to fade, it will not.Take control over it and see how it goes.If i did it, you can do it to.It’s hard at first, take it step by step

[Kronos18]

One quick tip for this.Get a friend, or a member of family who doesn’t know about your situatiom and talk to it normally.See how it goes.Then ask the person “does it seems like is something wrong with me?” I will tell you the answer.NO.because is still YOU, change your attitude, change your mindset, challenge yourself to do things, stop thinking about it so much.It will fade away when your brain realises that you are not in danger.It tends to fade really slow without you even noticing it.So stop thinking about it, just accept it as a part of you for now, because the more you search for answers and let it bother you, the more you prolong it.Just be yourself, get back in your activities, is nothing wrong with you.Prove it to your brain

[Kronos18]

I was surprised to challenge myself to drive from united kingdom back home, over a distance of 2600km in 2 days by car, and then i asked myself.How could i do that, if i was going crazy,  or it’s just my brain playing tricks on me? And then i realised i have the power to change things, we have the power to overcome it.100’s of people overcame it, why wouldn’t we??? I was reading stories of people who have it for years and years.Then i realised that people who have it for years, they just wait for the change to happen and complain about it every single say.You have it? I have it!LET’S CHANGE IT.Do you want your life back? It’s up to you.I want it, and I’m ready to overcome it, even if it takes time.We will do it.CHANGE COMES FROM US

[Doublespresso]

It's been so long since I stopped Seroquel and I still feel exactly the same! I feel completely dead inside, with no improvement at all. How is it even possible that my brain can recover at this point?? Everybody says I'm delusional for thinking that this is related to the drug, because I've been off it for more than half a year... How can I live knowing that I'll never be the same as before the drug?? I want my life back.... I've been reading a lot of stuff on the internet about how antipsychotics cause irreversible brain changes and shrink the brain and stuff like that... It's all I can think about, I feel permanently brain damaged and I don't know what to do... Any advice please I'm really hopeless and in pain

[brassmonkey]

This is sounding like a pretty normal WD pattern.  Even if a person had only been on a drug for a short period of time the WD/healing can take a frustratingly long time.  If you haven't read through this thread I would highly recommend it.

 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/17909-are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take/

 

[Doublespresso]

What are the top things I can do to speed up recovery as much as possible? I want to feel alive again so bad, I'm 20 years old these should be my most vital years 😕

[Doublespresso]

What is the recommended diet for withdrawal? I started taking magnesium (with b6) and fish oil. Other than that I've been vegan for the last 2.5 years, but I'm considering quitting veganism if that might speed up my recovery. Is there anything else I can do to speed up recovery?

 

One of the hardest things is that I don't know what to do with myself everyday. I don't enjoy anything and therefore can't even distract myself from this intolerable emptiness. I'm also obsessing over the possibility that I'm permanently brain-damaged and that I'll never recover, which makes me suicidal. I need to see some improvement, desperately... I tried many things, none helped (alternative medicine/therapies, raw diets, water fasting, etc.)

[Doublespresso]

How do I even know that this is withdrawal and I'm not just deluding myself like everyone around me says? How do I know that this isn't part of "Depression" or "OCD" or whatever other label doctors are giving me?? Am I supposed to just sit and wait a few years???

[Kronos18]

2 minutes ago, Doublespresso said:

How do I even know that this is withdrawal and I'm not just deluding myself like everyone around me says? How do I know that this isn't part of "Depression" or "OCD" or whatever other label doctors are giving me?? Am I supposed to just sit and wait a few years???

I think that no matter how you feel mate you should do things, don’t wait it out, otherwise you will end up having a big deal depression

[Doublespresso]

Just now, Kronos18 said:

I think that no matter how you feel mate you should do things, don’t wait it out, otherwise you will end up having a big deal depression

It's already here unfortunately.. I don't even know where or how to begin. I'm living with my parents, i have no job or friends (my girlfriend left me a couple months ago), and I'm extremely unmotivated... where do I begin..?

[Kronos18]

Just now, Doublespresso said:

It's already here unfortunately.. I don't even know where or how to begin. I'm living with my parents, i have no job or friends (my girlfriend left me a couple months ago), and I'm extremely unmotivated... where do I begin..?

The brain has an excelent power of rewiring.Start by taking baby steps.this link might help you but keep in mind, is not a month job.Do this everyday, for now on in order to succeed.https://www.heysigmund.com/the-non-medication-ways-to-deal-with-depression-that-are-as-effective-as-medication/

[Kronos18]

And remember, don’t give up.You have a life worth living.find a job—>you will make friends there—> find a girlfriend, take your time, fall in love.Live your life

[Doublespresso]

Thank you, Kronos. Will keep updating once in a while

[Kronos18]

You have a lifec worh living mate.Your brain will like the changes.After a while, you will not push yourself to do things.You will just do them, because your brain adapts.You will not like sittng all of the time in the house.Socialising, exercising, love.All of them feed the brain with happiness.Take care.

Kronos

[Kronos18]

52 minutes ago, Doublespresso said:

Thank you, Kronos. Will keep updating once in a while

I would like to hear from you battling this thing.Depression is worse, i have withdrawal induced depression, dr/dp, lack of motivation, fatigue, diziness, tremors, anxiety, and more symptoms.But sitting in the house while withdrawing will make things a lot worse.Some people are like “ the pills damaged my brain, i will never be the same again”.Ok, the pills did do damage, but if you sit and wait it out, nothing will change.Do as little as you can, when you can.Avoid sitting alone, overthinking, train your focus muscle.Stop living inside your head, engage in conversations, go out, socialise.I tell you from experience, it works but in time.I lost all my socialising skills after quiting pills, i could barely hold conversations, and after 15 weeks of “Fake it till you make it”, as Altostrata said, I can joke, laugh, be around people, I can engage and keep conversations, you can fake it, your brain doesn’t know that you are faking it, so it will create new pathways, and you WILL actually make it, as your brain adapts.DON’T JUST WAIT IT OUT MATE, everybody heals, but why don’t you think everybody has a successful recovery story?Because somes are complaining and excusing instead of doing.It’s easy to say “i can’t get out, i’m too depressed”, so people like the easy way, but it’s hard to actually go out and enjoy, even if you will not enjoy it at first.It’s like you get a new job, it takes an amount of time to learn the skills, but you learn it.That is your brain creatung pathways to help you.So you can enjoy things and life again, but it will take a while.Meanwhile, do them.Cheers

[Goosie]

I would recommend eating eggs and meat until you get better.   Your brain needs proteins to heal.    I used to be vegan and then I got sick.   I am slowly crawling my way out on a non vegan diet.    

[RichT]

On 4/30/2019 at 1:07 AM, Doublespresso said:

What are the top things I can do to speed up recovery as much as possible? I want to feel alive again so bad, I'm 20 years old these should be my most vital years 😕

 

 

I’m sorry to hear you’re suffering so much. 

 

Have a look at the ‘symptoms and self-care’ section of the forum. There’s a thread there on anhedonia that might help you, and some other threads that cover other things you can do to help your recovery.

 

R

[bluestone]

Sup dude. From the sound you’re just suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Emotional bluntness can also be a side effect but now that you’ve been off it for 5 months, it’s definitely the former.

 

Quetiapine causes the brain’s grey matter to decrease in size but that’s something which they think only becomes serious after spending over 20 years on the stuff at a high dose.

 

i found that I suffered from emotional bluntness in my first year and a half on it but the side effects got a lot better for me thankfully. I know you’re probably suffering from WS as opposed to SE, but one thing I’d like to note is that it felt like I had to relearn how to respond emotionally to things. It’s like my mind forgot how to. I’d advise you to try to ease yourself back into how your life was before all this bs started so that your mind can relearn if it needs to (again, the relearning part is just a theory). It’s also possible that this whole episode’s left you with a bit of depression which is known to cause emotional bluntness. Now if you are a bit depressed, completing isolating yourself and spending your time worrying about your health isn’t going to help.

 

Really, just try to enjoy yourself. Don’t worry if you don’t really feel the way you think you should do at first, it’s a process that’ll take time. But of course the earlier you start down this path, the sooner you’ll be done with it.

 

get well soon  😊

[Altostrata]

On 5/2/2019 at 2:39 PM, Doublespresso said:

What is the recommended diet for withdrawal? I started taking magnesium (with b6) and fish oil. Other than that I've been vegan for the last 2.5 years, but I'm considering quitting veganism if that might speed up my recovery. Is there anything else I can do to speed up recovery?

 

One of the hardest things is that I don't know what to do with myself everyday. I don't enjoy anything and therefore can't even distract myself from this intolerable emptiness. I'm also obsessing over the possibility that I'm permanently brain-damaged and that I'll never recover, which makes me suicidal. I need to see some improvement, desperately... I tried many things, none helped (alternative medicine/therapies, raw diets, water fasting, etc.)

 

Emotional anesthesia is "normal" after going off psychiatric drugs. Numbing emotions and reactions is how they "work." This needs to wear off in your nervous system.

 

Do not sit around worrying and feeling doomed, That is a self-fulfilling script. The more you sit and worry, the worse you'll feel.

 

Please find some activities that will help your brain to heal, some gentle exercise or playing with animals or something that you find even slightly rewarding. That will help your nervous system recover -- but it will be very slow and gradual.

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[Gridley]

On 5/2/2019 at 4:39 PM, Doublespresso said:

 

What is the recommended diet for withdrawal? I started taking magnesium (with b6) and fish oil. Other than that I've been vegan for the last 2.5 years, but I'm considering quitting veganism if that might speed up my recovery. 

 

 

 

We don't have a specific recommended diet for withdrawal, other than eating as healthily as you can and avoiding caffeine and alcohol.  Sugar can be very activating (cause anxiety).  With a vegan diet you're going to have difficulty getting B12, which is very important.  Kelly Brogan, M.D., who works with patients in antidepressant withdrawal, has reported good results with a diet containing lots of red meat (I know that sounds terrible to a vegan.)  

 

It would be better to take a magnesium supplement without B6.  B6 can be activating to people in withdrawal.  

[Shane88L]

Hi Doublespresso,

 

You aren't permanently damaged, even though it certainly feels like it.

 

I'm 8 months off of olanzapine, and only recently am I just beginning to feel emotions returning. Barely re-surfacing, but they are there.

It takes time. 

 

The dissociation from reality you mention is something I'm going through every single day. It is temporary, I believe. A depersonalization. 

More time, and try not to stress about being permanently damaged. You're not. 

Shane.

[hayduke]

Hey Doublespresso,

 

Patience is gonna be the hardest thing, but it does get better.  Your best years are ahead of you.

 

The wisdom and resources on this site are incredibly helpful and many of us are on this road, and many have walked it already.

 

Cheers