Maca44: mirtazapine withdraw not going well

[Maca44]

9 hours ago, Altostrata said:

How did you sleep Saturday night?

Not well kept waking feeling panicky

[Maca44]

Not doing so well as sleep is poor and anxiety is coming back in force so I'm feeling rather upset and frustrated. Still at 12.5mg of Mirt but am just getting fed up with taking it I feel crap. Just about managing to get to work and always glad I go because it takes my mind off things but its getting harder to distract myself, feeling like im going to lose it at anytime and be back where I started.

 

Bad times indeed and regretting even starting to come off the Mirt.

[Maca44]

Restless night tossing and turning.

 

9am 2 drops of CBT oil

No breakfast

12pm Slimfast shake (Can't eat solid food until evening)

2pm Work

7pm Had tea after finishing work was almost crying when I got in.

9pm Took 15mg of Mirt 2 drops of CBT oil

9.30pm Bed went to sleep at about 10pm but broken sleep throughout night.

 

I have increased the Mirt to 15mg in the hope I can get back to where I was before starting to cut it down, really not happy coming off now I am back to where I was 3 years ago. Just might have to accept that I will need to take meds for rest of life, I have got to ask myself which way to go because being like this is just too much it's no way to live so asking if I should just take the meds and get on with life the best I can.

[Maca44]

I'm wondering myself if some of us just need to be medicated, I always see taking medication as a personal weakness but lowering my Mirt has me back to as I was 3 years ago, a very dark place. The constant anxiety/fear is simply messing my life up it is no way to live so I am seriously thinking of going right back up in dose. I have to weight up what I want and if being off means feeling like this for some time then perhaps I just need to accept that I need the medication. Do you all think that this might apply to some of us here as I read that so many of us are in complete misery.

 

I know many of you have been successful coming off the meds but I do wonder if it's going to work out for me and for some others I see in absolute despair.

[ChessieCat]

Please check out this topic:  are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

[Maca44]

30 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

Please check out this topic:  are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take

 

 

Yes I have been doing loads of reading here but still just wonder if I just need to be on meds I'm not sure I can take much more.

 

Sorry to be so negative & perhaps if I wan't so cocky thinking I was going to just cut down & stop thinking weeks not months I would be doing better than I am.

[Maca44]

That's so good of you to take the time share your experiences.

I did stop googling symptoms years ago which is a big help but your spot on with regards to reading the intros every day, its not helping me. I am going back upto full dose for now, not because of what you have suggested so your not treading on the mods toes , but I feel I need to start over before I get really ill again. 

 

Again thank you so much for the input.

[ChessieCat]

31 minutes ago, Maca44 said:

 I am going back upto full dose for now

 

It's not very long since you reinstated.  It can take several weeks or more to stabilise.  I suggest you go back and read through the responses.

 

As mentioned previously, it is better to increase gradually by small amounts than to risk taking too much.  We have members of SA who have increased their dose too much and things got worse and they have ended up in a difficult situation for a long time.  Some have lost their jobs, relationships, become bedridden, had to move in with relatives.

 

It's important to learn and use non drug coping techniques to get through the discomfort.

 

Please read/re-read Post #1 of this topic:  About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

[Maca44]

54 minutes ago, ChessieCat said:

 

It's not very long since you reinstated.  It can take several weeks or more to stabilise.  I suggest you go back and read through the responses.

 

As mentioned previously, it is better to increase gradually by small amounts than to risk taking too much.  We have members of SA who have increased their dose too much and things got worse and they have ended up in a difficult situation for a long time.  Some have lost their jobs, relationships, become bedridden, had to move in with relatives.

 

It's important to learn and use non drug coping techniques to get through the discomfort.

 

Please read/re-read Post #1 of this topic:  About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

Thanks Chessiecat.

 

To be Honest, I'm scared and panicking.

I do try meditation most days but my mind races so sometimes it works but often I just get more wound up trying to do the breathing that you do in meditation. It must be frustration for you guys because you have given me so much advice and I've kind of thrown it back in your faces. Help is truly appreciated but im sure you understand my panicky behaviour. 

[ChessieCat]

19 minutes ago, Maca44 said:

To be Honest, I'm scared and panicking.

 

This happens to lots of SA members.  It is when we panic that we can make bad decisions.  Unfortunately with psychiatric drugs if you make a bad decision it can have long-lasting repercussions.

 

You joined 24th April.  That's not even 2 months.  When we are going through the rough spots it feels like it will last forever.

 

We have to take one day at a time, and sometimes an hour or a minute at a time.  Acceptance

 

 

[Maca44]

Yes it's only 2 months but it does feel like forever.

 

I will really try to take a step back and hold at 15mg, god, i'm in such a mess and I am trying to kid myself i'm not.

[sunnysideup69]

On 6/8/2019 at 11:39 AM, ChessieCat said:

 

It's not very long since you reinstated.  It can take several weeks or more to stabilise.  I suggest you go back and read through the responses.

 

As mentioned previously, it is better to increase gradually by small amounts than to risk taking too much.  We have members of SA who have increased their dose too much and things got worse and they have ended up in a difficult situation for a long time.  Some have lost their jobs, relationships, become bedridden, had to move in with relatives.

 

It's important to learn and use non drug coping techniques to get through the discomfort.

 

Please read/re-read Post #1 of this topic:  About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

I second this. I made a big panic updose last August and, whilst I have still been kind of functional, my brain and cns are still quite dysregulated, ten months on. It has taken me a LONG time to settle, and am still experiencing quite pronounced dips. 

Honestly, it's much better to sit tight. I definitely wish I had given myself that advice last June and stayed at 2.5mg.

The panicky behaviour is part of withdrawal. Don't beat self up for it, as you get better, you'll panic less. For now, it's there. 

It doesn't matter how 'well' you do the relaxation and meditation exercises. Just begin to do them. Sometimes I put on a meditation on Headspace, and I'm only focused for one of the twenty minutes. 

Sending you good wishes for the day ahead. 

 

[Maca44]

Reinstated back to 30mg and have got to say I am now feeling normal again. Been able to function again and live a life. Guess I am one who does need to take medication to function at a fairly normal level so reinstatement was the best thing to do,for me.

Will be relooking to reduce when I feel its time but also know that time may not come so looking at ways to combat the weight gain Mirt provokes when it messes with your appetite and the morning hangover I will just live with.  

[ChessieCat]

Q:  Have you gone from 15mg or 22.5mg to 30mg?

 

If you have gone from 15mg to 30mg that is a lot more than SA would suggest.

 

If you have gone from 22.5mg to 30mg that is still more than SA would suggest.

 

 

Please update your drug signature and make it easier for us.  We don't need the extra details, just the dates and doses so we can see the information we need at a glance and not have to read back through your posts.  I suggest that you copy and paste the current drug signature into a post and then use the preferred format:

 

Keep it simple.  NO diagnoses or symptoms please - thank you.

• details for last 2 years - dates, ALL drugs, doses
• summary for older than 2 years - just years and drug/s

Account Settings – Edit a signature

[Maca44]

Briefly went to 22.5mg but then went 30mg as I could see things starting to get bad again as depression was setting in and I don't want to go there again as it was grim and a dangerous place to be.

 

Feel ok again now the dose has increased, its never going to be great but I can function.

[Maca44]

So, its been a few of weeks of going back upto original dose of Mirt @ 30mg.

 

Feeling much better and able to function during the day with work etc. Back to being abit foggy first thing but it clears after shower so days ok and feel good come the evening. Not looking too far into the future and have stopped reading too many posts about struggles as I find it makes my anxiety worse. 

 

Any future reduction  will need much more planning so for now im taking time to get back into day to day living.

[Santino]

HI Maca44

You sound a lot similar to my case my friend.
I am completely normal for more than one year and a half already. 

The pattern of feeling problems during the day and later in the night normal is very familiar. You keep on tappering... i swear you are doing very good.

All the best

Santino

[ChessieCat]

On 6/23/2019 at 8:01 AM, ChessieCat said:

Please update your drug signature and make it easier for us.  We don't need the extra details, just the dates and doses so we can see the information we need at a glance and not have to read back through your posts.  I suggest that you copy and paste the current drug signature into a post and then use the preferred format:

 

Keep it simple.  NO diagnoses or symptoms please - thank you.

• details for last 2 years - dates, ALL drugs, doses
• summary for older than 2 years - just years and drug/s

Account Settings – Edit a signature

 

[Maca44]

18 minutes ago, Santino said:

HI Maca44

You sound a lot similar to my case my friend.
I am completely normal for more than one year and a half already. 

The pattern of feeling problems during the day and later in the night normal is very familiar. You keep on tappering... i swear you are doing very good.

All the best

Santino

Unfortunately I have up dosed to get control back otherwise I was very close to losing my job along with my mind. I hate the feeling of normality in the evening where I make plans for the next day but then find that in the morning I just sit in the summeroom not able to do anything. Its always disappointing. 

[sunnysideup69]

Hey Macca, how ya doing now? Just dropped by to say hello,

Ruth x