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GiaK

Healing is not linear...

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GiaK
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Healing is not linear. (we hear that all the time, for good reason).  For me healing is like a spiral staircase with a good dose of yoyo all the way up….
 

So, when folks want to pathologize our healing process we can tell them, *healing* is a highly disordered process…in that the fact that it’s radically non-linear makes it hard to know what is happening…and some of it involves going into the depths of the unknown…indeed healing require becoming very comfortable with the unknown. That’s not pathological but sometimes things look pretty dicey for sure.
 

Psychiatry, if nothing else, wants to concretize the chaos that can actually open up and become beautiful if we are allowed to move through it. Instead they stop the process with drugs and the chaos becomes crystallized, painful, stuck insanity.  Insanity and/or pathology is the suppression of the chaos, not the chaos itself. Life force must flow. Sometimes it’s chaotic…generally, it’s chaotic. Come on. We want to control everything but life says NO WAY.

more on healing
 

***

I told my story. Loudly and publicly. It’s been important to a lot of people. Still, now, the message I get most loudly is SHUT UP. It doesn’t mean all the time, but often. And so I try to move through my life a bit more quietly now.
 

sitting with what being silent is like is rather illuminating sometimes!

As the nervous system quiets so does the mouth.  😆


 

Remember, telling the story is important when it’s time to tell it!  For all who hold toxic secrets that are making them sick

More about our stories

 

***

We are simultaneously both broken and embodied perfection… no story really holds that — it’s time to dive off the storyboard all together
 

***

If “self-medicating” is done with mindful awareness it is often far better and is healthier than subjecting oneself to neurotoxic pharma. Supporting oneself during healing processes is self care. Learning to listen to and respond to the body is the healing process. Self-medicate? Sounds like another way we are nasty to ourselves. We learn to support ourselves in healthier and healthier ways as we pay attention to our bodies. If we use substances that aren’t ideal they can fall away as our body indicates they are no longer needed. This is harm-reduction and can be practiced with any substance (legal or illegal)  and includes food. Harm-reduction can become a way of life as we come to respect our environment as well.

 

 

 

 

healing-is-not-linear-e1566995351236.jpg

Edited by ChessieCat
removed obscenity

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Heal95

Thanks @GiaK for this reminder 

i have been feeling rotten at the moment. Currently in a wave and feeling trapped, in desperate need to escape. 

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GiaK

I"m sorry. That sucks. I understand. I hope it passes soon.

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treesofgreen

as long as it is possible to heal I am okay with the ups and downs .....I can handle it . I just hope I wont die on the way from all the stress on my nervous system . and I hope my brain will heal to begin with because I am scared that I ruined my brain .  if I heal from the meds (and stopping them cold turkey + alcohol + pot ) and all the derealization/depersonalization and extra panic and anxiety I will never b**** about my life ever again and will try to live life in its fullest .

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GiaK

 

On 8/30/2019 at 11:32 PM, treesofgreen said:

... I will never b**** about my life ever again and will try to live life in its fullest .

 

There is always ever only right now. What does it mean to live life to the fullest right now?

These are the sorts of questions I asked and try to bring into my life.

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Alice1
On ‎8‎/‎28‎/‎2019 at 9:29 AM, GiaK said:

For me healing is like a spiral staircase with a good dose of yoyo all the way up

 

hello GiaK ,

I've read your story over and over . I've watched your videos too .. I know the first 5 years of your experience was terrible , but while we are talking "non-linear" , did you ever hit waves years out that felt like square one or worse ?

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GiaK
2 hours ago, Alice1 said:

 

hello GiaK ,

I've read your story over and over . I've watched your videos too .. I know the first 5 years of your experience was terrible , but while we are talking "non-linear" , did you ever hit waves years out that felt like square one or worse ?

 

yes. I ended up in ICU two years ago...almost died. that was 8 years out...the detox I'm dealing with now continues to be on the razor's edge. There is nothing easy about my life. And that's just the way it is. 

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Alice1
33 minutes ago, GiaK said:

I ended up in ICU two years ago...almost died.

 

Oh yes , I remember when that happened to you . They gave you something at the ER and WD came back ..  I was putting along with my WD , feeling terrible but was managing ok , then all of a sudden BAM !! , the biggest wave ever , and I just turned the 3 year mark .. I'm clueless on what happened . I was using Clorox Bleach while cleaning my house and was exposed to the fumes for a couple hours . That's the best I can think of ..

 

I have doing my best to follow your advice you spoke of in one of your videos about "allowing" the symptoms to exist, but was wondering if you think that will still help someone who pretty much CT'd  ( 6 week taper)

 

I know you were bedridden for 2 years , and then mostly in bed for another 2 or 3 after that . I wasn't sure if you could relate to my 3 year setback ..

 

I want to say thank you for your involvement at this site and Beyond Meds ..

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GiaK

you're welcome Alice. Allowing what is - is a practice that is good for anyone at anytime. it doesn't mean not responding to what is...it just means that we also accept that like it or not...THIS (whatever it is) is happening NOW. It's just practical really. Why fight what IS? this doesn't mean that we don't support and love the body into health - but just when we are not healthy we be with that. So yes, I always practice this and will until I die. Surrender to this moment now because it's all we've got. 

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treesofgreen
On 9/2/2019 at 6:56 PM, GiaK said:

 

 

There is always ever only right now. What does it mean to live life to the fullest right now?

These are the sorts of questions I asked and try to bring into my life.

 

not possible for me to enjoy life right now with all the extra anxiety ...all the stress on my nervous system ...all the obsessive thoughts etc etc . 

 

I really hope there is a happy end with this and that it wont take much time anymore 

 

at the same time I am aware that I have to try my best and live life the best way possible right now regardless of my situation because that will help improving my situation

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GiaK

I stopped making happiness a goal a long time ago. I've actually written a lot critiquing the concept of happiness if you're interested you can do a search on my site for such articles. 

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JackieDecides
9 hours ago, GiaK said:

I stopped making happiness a goal a long time ago. I've actually written a lot critiquing the concept of happiness if you're interested you can do a search on my site for such articles. 

 

I know I have read that seeking happiness is not a good plan. working at something meaningful to you is a better one. 

might have happiness as a byproduct but that's just a bonus, I guess. 😊

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Rhiannon

"spiral staircase with a good dose of yoyo all the way up"

 

PRETTY MUCH NAILED IT

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