Frenchgirl: on emergency

[Frenchgirl]

Hi Shep,again,for my last reduction of Clonazepam,I'm not sure,i think it was in August 2019,my memory is very bad,i've memory losses.I use the syringes to reduce.

[Frenchgirl]

 

Sorry my brain is in the fog.And i can't remenber clearly.What I know i've reduced  clonazepam during the summer,but was when was the last one,i should have write it.No very recent drop that's all i know.

 

 

[Shep]

22 hours ago, Frenchgirl said:

My last clonazepam reduction was last month september 2019.

 

20 hours ago, Frenchgirl said:

Hi Shep,again,for my last reduction of Clonazepam,I'm not sure,i think it was in August 2019,my memory is very bad,i've memory losses.I use the syringes to reduce.

 

We recommend tapering the benzo after the antidepressant. Please see:

 

Taking multiple psych drugs? Which drug to taper first?

 

Please stop tapering the clonazepam.

 

22 hours ago, Frenchgirl said:

The only thing is that i've stopped passionflower,2 or 3 days and now retaken last night.I don't know if there's a link with my sleep.

 

Please take your supplements consistently. Yes, this is likely affecting your sleep. You also stopped taking Valerian a few weeks ago. All of these changes are catching up to you and causing more symptoms. Please see:

 

The rule of 3KIS: Keep it simple. Keep it slow. Keep it stable.

 

Please hold all your drugs and supplements without making any changes. This will give your nervous system time to stabilize. 

 

 

[Frenchgirl]

31 October 

7:45 Awake and go To the toilets

go back To bed.

9:15 tired ,thinking of my med

Felt asleep and dreamt

11:30 managed to get out of bed

11:45 washed my hair,dressed me

12:25 went outside To have lunch with friends,totally zombie stated.

Very tired,low energy

12:50 lunch felt disconnected with my friends

13:50 effexor 112.5mg

14:25: went to supermarket

16:25  back at home

In my bedroom still Exhausted 8

18:00 tea and cake.

Headache this evening

Some tinglings in the face,lids.

Unwell Being feeling all day long.8

20:47 dinner took paracetamol uneffective

22:00 plants

23:15 clonazepam drops.Teeth,sinus,headaches.

23:40 tinnitus,and also during the day.Dark thoughts.

0:45:Slept

3:50 awake then reslept some hours.

7:35 awake.

Fatigue:8

Suicidal and homicidal thoughts,regrets

11:20 get out of bed,breakfast

Sad mood.

[Frenchgirl]

Hi Shep 

I haven't reduced my clonazepam recently,i have stopped decreasing the clonazepam since weeks maybye 2 months.I don't think that stopping valerian has caused more symptoms.

@Shep @Sassenach

So you think that adding some effexor beads wouldn't be ok?Such as 1mg :3or4 beads? According To you it's VERY risky?It seems so little...And what if with a progressive updose such as one or 2 beads every week?

I have so much symptoms i'm léthargic,depressed,suffering with chronic fatigue,neglected myself and my health...Sometimes I'm telling me that i can't go on living like this...

I give you my understanding of the situation, in Dec 2018,i began To stabilize again with my dosages 150mg effexor+2 drops clonazepam.Unfortunately i made the mistake To ask the psych  if we should updose again effexor to 187.5mg during my stay at the Clinic, at 1st he said no it don't think it will change anything then ok,and then he decided To decrease also clonazepam from 2 drops to 1.At 1st my mood was ok but then disaster equilibrium broke again in January 2019.Then i decreased 2 times effexor from 187.5mg To 150mg and to 150mg to 112.5mg on my own too fast and too much...plus the changes with the clonazepam on his advices mainly...I'm now in Hell.

 

[Altostrata]

Frenchgirl, how many clonazepam drops are you taking? What is the dosage in milligrams of clonazepam?

 

Lethargy, depression, fatigue, apathy, etc. are benzodiazepine side effects. It doesn't make any sense to increase Effexor to compensate for them -- you'll be on the two drugs forever.

[Frenchgirl]

Dear Altostrata 

I take 1 complete  drop +one drop which i dissolve in 10 ml water.I take 2.6ml of the solution.So it must be around 1.15 or 1.16 drops in total.In milligrams 0.11mg.I know it can also brings fatigue and low mood.

 

But my case is complex,i made the mistake To cut down too fast Effexor because of side effects like my friend Superwoman and since that i have huge fatigue,anhedonia,depression,lost weight and hair,insomnia,suicidal thoughts...

And i foolishly not updosed just before the 2nd cut last March.What i wanted To explain you is that i had the impression to have too much Effexor and then not too much.My brain doesn't adapt.It was a shock for my body.

Today I'm hardly depressed and my hormons aren't helping at all.Cry a part of the day.Had an argument with my family,who don't believe in withdrawal.

 

[Altostrata]

Please look on your clonazepam bottle and confirm that you are taking 0.11mg clonazepam. How often do you take it?

 

You could try an increase to 115mg Effexor, see what that does.

[Shep]

Frenchgirl, do you feel that you're getting interdose withdrawal from the clonazepam? Do you feel relief from your symptoms when you take your evening clonazepam dose? Does it make you sleepy and calm? 

[Frenchgirl]

Dear Alto 

 

I really appreciate that you're always here for us,and I'm grateful for that.

On my bottle it's written one drop equal 0.1mg!So it would be 0.116 mg.I take it every night at around 11pm.I totally agree that it's not a good thing because now I'm dependent on that s...

That seems little i know..But when the psych told me in June To try to updose again!the drop To one and half,it was a disaster.

Now i just realize it was a 50 pc increase!

Second thing,to reach 115 mg effexor i have to add 8 more beads.(Last reduced on March 18th.)

Does it sounds ok?

So afraid now with this drug and the side effects i had especially increasing/decreasing fast and a lot.

Sorry i know I'm complicated and my CNS also.

Many Thanks for your HUGE patience and kindness.

All the best.

FG.

 

 

[Altostrata]

Please confer with @Shep and get your clonazepam dosing settled before changing Effexor.

[Frenchgirl]

Dear @Shep Dear @Altostrata

 

My clonazepam dosing is settled.

NO changes since weeks and weeks.

No i don't Feel any withdrawal interdose from clonazepam.No i don't Feel special relief when i take my clonazepam dose.

For the sleep sometimes i can sleep around 5 hours sometimes just 2 hours.

I'm calm naturally.

I know i have to take a decision for effexor updose. 

Regards.

FG

[Frenchgirl]

Hello SA

Today tuesday 7 Nov

 

Sleep pattern Wednesday 

0:30 or 1:00 am: Felt asleep 

Managed To sleep some hours,sleep was light,heard my mother going To lavatory.

 

7:50 Awake certainly before 

Flat low mood,suicidal toughts 

11:20 decided To go out of bed

11:40 breakfast 

Flat low mood,suicidal toughts 8

Desperate feelings.

14:00  lunch 

I've noticed a pattern at the beginning of the afternoon my mood is a tiny bit better.

14:30 Took effexor 112.5mg 

Throughout the day obsessive thinking with my med.Dark thoughts.

Afternoon:anxiety about future.

Ruminations.Sadness.

20:35:dinner.Heart beats faster,amplified.Tinglings in lids.

Not feeling myself.

22:00 plants escholtzia and passionflower 

23:30 clonazepam drops same dose as usually.

Mood is a little bit better at night.

0:44 Feel tired,will try to sleep.

1:00 am It's time To close my Phone.

Housebounded all day long.

Stomach  burnings and reflux.

Will complete tomorrow for other details.

[Frenchgirl]

Hello SA

 

My diary:

FRIDAY 8 Nov Sleep pattern about 5 h 

7:50

Pain in harms,elbows.Hard time To get up.Drowsy ,tired.

Flat low mood.

11:30 breakfast 

13:45 lunch

14:20 effexor 112.5mg 

15:00 at work No motivation.Low flat mood.Depressed.

19:10 at home sad and depressed 8

Cried.No energy.Apathy.

20:35 dinner heart beats amplified 

22:00 plants

23:00 clonazepam drops 0,116 mg

Mood is little bit better.Itchings.

Headache more or less during the day, evening.

 

 

SATURDAY

Slept few hours

8:10 Hard time To get up.

Dressed, go back To bed.

9:00 at work low,flat mood, anhedonia 8

12:40 end of work went To a Shoes shop due my mother's phone call.Still have a lot of anhedonia 8

14:00 lunch+effexor 

Afternoon tired,obsessive thoughts about med.Flat low mood.

Heart beat amplified.

18:40 Visit of my brother and his wife.Forced myself To speak with Her.

Heart beat seems amplified sometimes.

Some dark toughts this afternoon,evening.

Mood don't know what To do,seems To lift and down.

20:45 dinner.Itchings.

22:20 plants.Mood seems a bit better.Itchings.

23:00 clonazepam drops.

Pains in harms,fingers maybye related to an old issue with carpal tunnel.

Some tinglings in the face today.Agressive thoughts towards others during the day.

[Frenchgirl]

Hi @Altostrata

No news from Shep.Remenber no changes in my clonazepam dose.

What should i do,do i try a small increase? You suggested once+2.5mg?(8 beads in my case).

Sorry for annoying you with that question another time.So stressed.

Take Care.

FG.

[Altostrata]

Can you explain more about "Heart beat seems amplified sometimes"? Have you always been worried about your heartbeat?

 

When did the itching start? Where on your body are you itching? Do you have a rash?

 

Please be aware that flat mood and depression are common side effects of long-term benzodiazepine use. You may need to cope with them until you can taper clonazepam. See Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Please put the MILLIGRAMS of clonazepam you're taking in your daily notes, not drops. Thank you.

[Frenchgirl]

Hi Alto 

Many thanks for your reply.

Heart beat amplified sometimes: i can clearly Feel my heart is beating.I was worried when i had a high dose of effexor :187.5mg it seems that my heart wasn't happy,since i had atrial fibrilation.Need To be careful because i had cardiac surgery.

No i don't have a rash.Skin can be red.Itchings,the evening,on my legs,neck,for ie,it's not new.Possibly related with med.

I know the benzo can bring low mood,one year use for me.

But one main part of the issue is my unwell  conducted WD from Effexor,remenber,too much and too fast,which put me into crap.Very hard shock.My brain used To have 150 mg for Years!And it was stimulating,because since decreasing I'm so much tired and lethargic,plus anhedonia,zombie stated,hardly depressed.

I do relaxation therapy once a week.

As the symptoms are quite unbearable,I'm still wondering if the updosing would help.On November the third you said that i could try an updose To 115mg and see what it does.

Thank you for taking care of us.

Have a Nice afternoon.

FG

[Vegalia]

Hi @Frenchgirl

 

How are you?

 

Bisous

 

Vega.

[Frenchgirl]

Hi @Vegalia

Thanks for your kind message.

I'm not doing Well.Dark thoughts and desperate..+physical symptoms Blaming myself for all the errors i made...And not having reacted on time.

Je vois que toi aussi ça ne va pas fort.

Courage.I Hope today is better for you.

If you want To PM that's ok.

Bisous.

FG.

[Frenchgirl]

Dear @Altostrata @Shep

Sorry i haven't posted for a while,i had really bad days.Some explanations concerning my heart.The atrial fibrilation was due to Effexor too highly dosed.The A F went away after decreasing. The surgery was caused by another problem years ago,i had a treatment which suppressed immunity and i contracted a bacteria in hospital ,that leads to a bad valvular disease.

That's said, i had an" accident" last night with my clonazepam dose,usually 0,116 mg.A part of the solution went away from my glass when mixing.So I haven't taken my entire dose.It happened 1 or two times before if i do remenber Well.

Was unable To sleep,it sounds like dose tolerance? (usually around 4-5 h),and was VERY confused with strange thoughts.(It made me feel anxious). Derealisation?Paradoxical reaction?WD?A mix?The strange irrational thoughts happened a little the night before and sometimes.For tonight usual dose i suppose?

Thanks for your reply.

FG.

[Altostrata]

Good to hear the adverse effect of Effexor went away.

 

Your sleep was disrupted because you took a reduced benzo dose. You need to go back to your regular drug schedule. It may take a week or so for your sleep to recover.

[Frenchgirl]

Thanks Alto.I do think so for the disrupted sleep.I' m going To sleep if i can!Here it's half past midnight.

Will come back tomorrow with my diary and questions.

[Frenchgirl]

Hi @Altostrata

Sorry in advance for Being repetitive.

What do you think,should i try a micro updose,which can be progressive 2 more beads every 4 days,To reach 8 beads for instance.Can't stop thinking of that.I know from what i read that i can't come back To 150mg after so many months.

 

Friday was awful i cried when i wake up.My hormons were also added To the mix.(Period this week-end).

I had a lot of bad days in terms of depression.Anhedonia,no energy,apathy.

Yesterday night sleep was very bad,no dreams,( thursday night better) sinus teeths aches.Confusion.

SI and violent thoughts.

My brain seems to miss his dose.It seems very hard to adapt.Heart bumpings .Luminous flashes.

 

[Altostrata]

On 11/19/2019 at 2:42 PM, Altostrata said:

Your sleep was disrupted because you took a reduced benzo dose. You need to go back to your regular drug schedule. It may take a week or so for your sleep to recover.

 

You need to go back to your regular drug schedule. What times of day do you take your drugs, and their dosages?

[Frenchgirl]

Hi Alto

Thanks for your reply.

My last message was a draft,maybye a bit confused.I mean my brain is addicted To effexor at the dose of 150 mg,for many years.Reduced too fast and at a high rate,(side effects), i realized without Being stabilized.

I went back on my regular schedule immediately after "the accident "of the reduced dose of benzo.

I take effexor 112.5mg at around 14:00 or 14:30 and at night 0,116 mg clonazepam around 11pm.

The main issue is with the depression,suicidal ideation,harmful ideation towards others.That's why i asked about updosing.

Sleep pattern from a few hours lightly,interrupted or more deep (but not sufficient in number of hours)To deprivation.My sleep is like that since many months,with the destabilization.

No real Windows but huge waves.

A bit better this night.I have the itchings more or less,(elbow,or back,...)it depends on the days.Heart beats amplified.Frequent Nose bleedings.Blue marks.

Going To sleep it's late here.

Best regards.

FG.