AlaskanGlacier: lack of connection with people / social life

[AlaskanGlacier]

Can anyone relate to what I'm talking about here? My story is 13 years long and very intense.... gone through many different drugs... Accutane, Lexapro, Celexa, Prozac, Valium, Xanax, Ativan, Hydrocortisone, thyroid meds... I'm finally free of everything as of 4 months ago... I finished up my 2 year taper off 30mg of Prozac... and am going on 3.5 years off Valium after a 2 year long taper.

 

I'm definitely healing. It's been a long road, but I'm healing. What is really frustrating me is the complete lack of ability to socialize, feel comfortable around people, connect with people on an emotional and human level, inablity to date or really have much of any relationship with anyone outside of people who understand what I'm going through (and they're all in other states).

 

The combination of akathisia, agitation, internal chemical anxiety/restlessness, chemical brain fog and cognitive issues, emotional swings (they're getting better, but dang the first few weeks off prozac were insane), numb effect to human connection... it all makes human interaction painful, awkward, difficult, incredibly uncomfortable and basically a useless endeavor... and it's seriously driving me mad. I'm a 32 year old man. I know I'm just off Prozac as of July, but honestly, I haven't been able to have any kind of normal social/dating life or form close bonds with people for the past 13 years due to the acute and serious nature of the symptoms I've had ever since Accutane drove me off a cliff at age 19 in 2007.

 

I guess this is more of a purging of these emotions on here than anything... but it's seriously getting me down. I feel so lonely, cut off, impaired by these drugs and the damage that is healing... if anyone has any experiences with this in particular, please share. For God's sake, even checking out at the store... it's borderline impossible to even look the check out person in the face when you're shaking with akathisia, anxiety, internal agitation, and a brain that is completely empty from the fog and cognitive issues. So frustrating

 

Thanks for letting me rant. I hope this heals soon.

[succubus76]

Lack of empaty is a know side effect of SSRIs. Accutane is a very heavy drug and could chance neurochemistry in some people, hence why exist post-accutane syndrome. Social anhedonia usually means lack of oxytocin. I also got damage from zoloft, i used to socialize before but now i dont because it gives me nothing. And i constantly faking it. Neurochemistry and plasticity varies through every individual so dont worry, might get better for you

[Altostrata]

Welcome, d.

 

I moved your topic to the Introductions forum to act as your Introductions topic, where you can ask questions and track your progress.

 

On 10/21/2019 at 10:11 PM, AlaskanGlacier said:

The combination of akathisia, agitation, internal chemical anxiety/restlessness, chemical brain fog and cognitive issues, emotional swings (they're getting better, but dang the first few weeks off prozac were insane)

 

Are you experiencing these symptoms now? If so, they are withdrawal symptoms from your having gone off Prozac. It sounds like you had acute withdrawal syndrome, now you have post-acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS), which can last many months.

 

How have your withdrawal symptoms changed since July?

Edited November 6, 2019 by Shep
updated to reflect new username in quoted textbox

[AlaskanGlacier]

Does anybody else deal with this and if so, can you share when it went away?

 

After i finished my taper last July, since then my self esteem has taken a hit and that combined with the OCD, anxiety SSRI withdrawal causes has made this rougher.

 

Basically, my face will swell up with water retention and look very puffy to the point I look very different. Skin color looks sick like I'm an aids patient. Everything just looks sick, and puffy, and just generally unattractive. This can change in the span of an hour and it leans out, looks better, color is healthy. It's like a cycle of weirdness I keep going through. It started badly when I finished my taper and went deeper into SSRI withdrawal.

Anyone else?

 

Thanks!

[Altostrata]

@AlaskanGlacier, please update your Intro topic.

 

How have your symptoms changed since January 2020?

 

1 hour ago, AlaskanGlacier said:

....

I've been starting to have a lot of those symptoms. Dry mouth, feel dehydrated, dizzy, disoriented, sweaty, chills... it has led to a few panic attacks the past week which were devastating. I was sure I was dying of dehydration or electrolyte deficiency (even though i was just at the ER the other day and all of that was completely normal). I drink enough water (10 cups a day or so), get in sea salt here and there, eat well, etc etc. .. and the fear persists. Man, I swear. SSRI withdrawal is so bizarre compared to benzos tbh for me. The delayed sxs and wd is crazy. Benzo wd was more linear for me... but Prozac wd has hit in delayed waves many times.

 

 

 

[AlaskanGlacier]

Bedridden with extreme muscle weakness/dizziness

Is this a thing that people deal with? I'm 15 months off Prozac and have gotten weaker over the past few months to the point where this month I've been more or less bedridden. Severe muscles weakness, disorientation, feel like I'm dying, panic attacks. I've been to the ER a number of times the past month and tests are always normal.

 

Please somebody share their experience here. I am so weak and dizzy and lots of glass ripping pain in abdomen (tests were normal for all GI issues such as gallstones, pancreatitis as well). It's very unsettling and completely swept me off my feet.

 

Thanks

 

Edited October 4, 2020 by ChessieCat
added topic title

[almuPA]

Hello @AlaskanGlacier,

I know this comes late(sorry).

How are you feeling? Are things better for you?

 

I only know about citalopram (celexa) WD, but I am experiencing the muscle weakness and dizziness. This last one would come and go, but the muscle weakness has been with me for a number of days. Have you been feeling fatigue as well? Apparently It is a common WD sympton, though that doesnt make It easier. 

The good thing is that your test came back ok, so I Guess you just need time.

Hang in there.

Hugs,

Almu.

[AlaskanGlacier]

I'm sorry, it's very difficult to really explain my story very well, but I was just wondering if it is common/normal or if it is something that does happen with people, to be off this long and be suffering so terribly. Back in 2014, I began a taper off of 4 drugs,.. 15mg of Valium, 30mg of Prozac, 20mg of Hydrocortisone and Thyroid meds. I finished up my taper in 2019, and am now 49 months off of everything. 15mg of Valium was tapered over a period of 2yrs, microcutting from 2014-2016. Steroid/thyroid meds from 2016-2017, and Prozac from 2017-2019, microcutting. It's only gotten worse every year off of Prozac. I was somewhat steady when I reached 0mg of Prozac,.. in w/d and dealing with symptoms as I have for years due to previous history going back to 2007, but not like this. 

 

It's non stop akathisia, panic, anxiety, severe weakness and fatigue, digestive pain, cystitis pain, feeling like my body is going to explode, nonstop intrusive thoughts like I'm going nuts, air hunger, burning, stinging, emotional outbursts, tremors, blurred vision, body nerve pain, dehydration from constant urination. It's like I'm living in a microwave, pressure cooker, fire pit being tortured daily and it's not letting up. The sensitive CNS is making it so there are so many food reactions, reactions to stress, etc.. that stuff like that can throw me into chaos for weeks. 

 

Has anyone ever dealt with this? A bit over 4 years off after tapering? Sorry, I'm desparate. When does the CNS calm down.. if anyone can give some advice or point me to a thread/threads to deal with post acute w/d suffering this badly this long off, I'd appreciate it. Thank you ❤️

[Altostrata]

Hello, @AlaskanGlacier

 

Have you had withdrawal symptoms since you went off Valium in 2016?