Jump to content

Hunger for knowledge much subdued. Is it the withdrawal or aging?


Recommended Posts

I recall getting these fuzzy feelings in my brain. A delicious, energizing spurt of neural activity letting me know that my brain was in prime state to learn something new. I'd get this sensation once in a while, a few times a year, I believe - and would start reading nearly every book in sight, hungry for knowledge and feeling joy at being able to satiate this lust.


Problem is, I can't remember the last time I had this feeling, and this is VERY alarming to me.


It's a bit over 3 years that I started tapering from Zoloft. I'm also about to turn 40. Is it my age that is the culprit, or is it the withdrawal?


Can anyone relate?

2000: Paxil, low dose. 2001: Paxil, quickly tapered off. 2006: Zoloft, 25mg. 2007: Wellbutrin, low dose, discontinued after a week or a month. 2007-2009: Zoloft, increasing dose (up to 75mg). 2009-2011: Zoloft, failed withdrawal attempts (cold-turkey; fast tapering). 2009-2011: Trying out Cymbalta, Celexa, Prozac, Lexapro, Ambien, Ativan, and Xanax. 2012-2015: Zoloft, 100mg to 200mg. 2013: Trazadone for Zoloft-induced insomnia, 25mg to 50mg.  2015: Trileptal, dose?, withdrew; Bupropion, up to 200mg. 2016: Zoloft, 137mg, Bupropion, 150mg, Trazodone, 25mg.

05/21/16: Began Zoloft taper - 10% from 150mg - 137ish mg

06/23/16: Zoloft taper - 125mg

08/03/16: Bupropion XL taper - cut 150mg pill in crude half (mistake)

10/31: Zoloft successfully down to 100mg. Staying on 100mg for 2-3 months to let my brain rest.

11/09: Wellbutrin SR prescribed, 150mg once a day, for withdrawal.

12/11: Wellbutrin SR, twice daily - minus 18ishmg = 112.50mg

09/30/17: Off Wellbutrin SR successfully. Zoloft taper: 90ish mg (shaving it off). Trazodone: still at 50mg.

June 2018: Zoloft: 80ish (shaving off). Trazodone: 6mg. End of 2018: Off Trazodone.

01/20: Zoloft: 70ish?

08/20: Still around 80 or 70. Tapering by only 15 shaves each month.

04/2021: 50mg! 11/2022: 40ish mg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

I have been so wrapped up in WD I've lost interest in many things including much curiosity about the world. And I'm a very curious person. It's just that WD is so all-consuming, that other things just seem unimportant. I didn't even realize until after that we had elections last week. I had forgotten the date. 

"Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig 


I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 


If you would like to get a response from me directly please type @Onmyway some place in your message so I get notified of your post. I am not able to follow all of the threads all the time.


Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering)

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48


Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

Link to comment
Share on other sites

for me I noticed my hunger for and curiosity in life waning before I started the ADs, probably partly due to depression or whatever, partly just from getting older and knowing everything already, and partly due to being beaten down and disappointed and disillusioned with life.  


then I started taking the pills and they didn't make it any better.  after a while they started making it worse.  at one point I was sitting at home during a really intense thunderstorm and realized I had no desire to go out into it or even watch it from my porch.  that was uncharacteristic of me to say the least.  normally I would be running around on some sort of adventure through the rain.  after that I started noticing more and more things I just didn't care about anymore, including learning and improving myself.  everything was just bland.


I have since been making conscious attempts at trying to recapture the zest for life and the interest in living life with varying degrees of success.  throwing myself at life as it were.  some days are still bland and I still feel dull but I do have days when I truly feel alive, for better and for worse, but I had to make a conscious effort to let myself feel that way.  its gotten easier the more I do.  it does come back but hunger and curiosity are like muscles that atrophy without use so its important to exercise them to make them strong once again.


but of course you're talking about reading, which has nothing to do with whatever it is that im babbling about......


.....no, scratch that, what im babbling on about has everything to do with it!  the hunger to read and learn and the desire to feel and live are both fueled by the same fire, and that fire burns inside us all regardless of how many pills they give us.  we just need to learn to nurture the flame once again.

38 year old male

50mg sertraline for seasonal affective in spring of '13 through spring of '16

began uninformed taper mid march '16 ending 6 weeks later around may 1st

withdrawal symptoms began july 4th '16

reinstatement of sertraline at 25mg on july 7th '16

august '16 - present: many setbacks even more victories

currently holding at 25mg and ill hold there forever if I have to

looking forward to the day I can begin tapering


Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy