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Rhiannon

☼ Rhiannon's intro (by Rhi)

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Altostrata

Rhi has a "success story" topic here Rhi: Incremental success

 

Shall we continue the conversation there?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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Rhiannon

Hmm...I'm okay with continuing my thread there, or keeping it here. I'm going to be tapering for quite a while yet and I definitely have my ups and downs, but those will be with me after the taper's over too.

 

I'm pleased today to report that three weeks ago I had dental implant surgery and it's gone okay. I had to take antibiotics which messed me up and I felt pretty bad for a while, but that's settling out now too. The only thing that's currently a problem is sleep. I'm on a thyroid regimen which has helped me a lot with the brain fog and lack of energy in the afternoons but I'm having more trouble sleeping. I guess it's always something, right? This week I was sick with a cold and one day I slept for three hours in the afternoon and then eight hours at night, it was like a miracle. Maybe I should just try to get sick more often. (That's a joke, not an actual request, in case the Universe is listening...)

 

Anyway I'm mostly kind of same as ever, just walking along. Not terribly happy with my life but not miserable by any means. There are always good days and hikes to look forward to.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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bubble

It's very nice to hear from you. I am very happy the surgery and ATBs didn't cause any major upheavals. I hope your sleep improves soon too. 

 

I very much like that looking forward to new hikes, me too :) Especially now as the spring is finally coming...


Current: Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Addax

Very glad for the update, Rhi. Sounds like things are generally going well and happy to hear you have hikes coming up!


1988-2012: Prozac @ 60mg to treat an eating disorder. Several unsuccessful attempts to discontinue.Fall 2012: Failed attempt to discontinue then -> 40mg Prozac and added 150mg Wellbutrin.Late summer 2013:Began slower Prozac taper.Spring 2014:Got to 10mg Prozac, 75mg of Wellbutrin -April 2014: 9mg Prozac & 37.5mg Wellbutrin 2x/day -> 9mg Prozac & 25 mg Wellbutrin 2x/day->9mg Prozac 1x/day & ~8mg Wellbutrin 2x/day -> 8.1mg Prozac, 0 WellbutrinSept '14: 8.1mg Prozac -> crashed hardOct '14: 10mg ProzacNov '14: 20mg -> 30mgDec '14: 30mg, Feb 10: 27mg. Mar 7: 25mg Mar 21, 2015: 20mg. May 21, 2016: 20mg and holding strong.

 

My experience: http://rxisk.org/antidepressant-withdrawal-a-prozac-story/

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LexAnger

you always has such a clear mind and wisdom, even under the damn influence of these evil drugs!

Happy for you being able to live without miserable WD symptoms.

 

We all look up to your great examples!


Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Rhiannon

Thank you Lex!

 

There's a thing I think about sometimes and I don't know where to write about it really, so I just thought I would put it here. That is: the sad news is that we are the leading edge of what I think is going to be a very big wave, given the numbers of people that are being given psychiatric meds these days.

 

The good news is that we are here. 

 

I have always been an activist for social change, and my most satisfying experiences have always come in working at the beginnings of a movement, because that's where you have the most leverage. When you help to shape and create a movement at the beginning, every person you influence is going to influence a lot more people who are going to influence a lot more people, etc.

 

It's sad, because this particular movement is so tragic. We're not fighting some long and ancient historical injustice, we're helping victims of sociopathic corporations run by greedy psychopaths who are ruining lives left and right so they can have more toys. The whole story is sordid and villainous beyond words.

 

But it's happening, and I think it's going to be continuing to happen, and I think this forum has already had more influence than we realize, because doctors read it, because of the quality that Alto has created and the rest of us maintain here. Right here there are more case studies and more information and experience about what really works for helping people get off these meds and stay off them, safely, than anything anywhere else in the scientific literature. I doubt we'll ever get the credit, but in decades to come when doctors are struggling with this, the knowledge gathered in this forum is going to influence how they practice, and for the better, I think.

 

So, that's a thing I think about sometimes, and is a lot of why I am here.

 

Does that make sense? I know it's sort of rambly, it's late, I should really be in bed, but it's Saturday night so even though I'm working I'm staying up late.


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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LexAnger

Hi Rhi, I totally got what you mean!

 

After years struggling and learning, I know now what kind of tragedy I'm in and what my rest 'life' gonna to be. Even I try the best to think of the meaningfulness of it behind what I cant reason, It put me into immediate depression (the normal depression from this fact not drug created) every time I think of my supposedly briliant life destroyed, my incredible suffering and the duration of the suffering. I always think and believe I am very strong and can overcome any blows from life until this one as it took ME away from inside along with all the other incredible difficulties. The part saddens me the most Is the humanity that is taken away by the drug, loss of all the very basic enjoyment a human being is give to life.

 

Thank you for bring this up! I am in complete agreement with you in that this whole thing will be one of the biggest event ( tragedy) in human history. I keep telling ppl around about my belief. As for the information everyone shared here, not only it helps each of us on the road, there are pioneer projects (by SASinc) working on tools for analyses of the web posted data especially for psyc med related. The major difficulty lies in the fact that web posted data is typically not structured for easy capture by computer programming for statistical analyses which is usually required for solid authority acknowledge. So far, the signature page is most valuable for future analyses. If we would like to consider for the future use, it may be a good idea to establish a structure for the signature page (with form, questions etc.).

 

Hope you had a good nit sleep and enjoy the spring spirit in Bay area.


Drug free Sep. 23 2017

2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks.

2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg

2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain

2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain;

2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain

2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg,

2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on

2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks.

2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR

2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg,8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg, 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg

2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg,

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Petunia

Your last post makes perfect sense Rhi, I'm here for the same reasons.  Thank you for being here. 


I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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dalsaan

Great post Rhi, that's how I feel as well.  I am trying to find as many ways I can of being an activist in this.   I don't just want to change things for SA members, although they are very important to me.   I want to change things for everyone, so we can stop this mass medical disaster.

 

D


Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist.

Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014.

Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September.

Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015.

Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15).

Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past.

 

DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017

 

>My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan

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ten0275

 

I have always been an activist for social change, and my most satisfying experiences have always come in working at the beginnings of a movement, because that's where you have the most leverage. When you help to shape and create a movement at the beginning, every person you influence is going to influence a lot more people who are going to influence a lot more people, etc.

 

rhiannon, hello.

 

i always enjoy reading your thoughts, but your last post was extraordinary and i'm thankful you wrote it. i couldn't agree with you more than i do. this is most certainly a movement of social change in its relative infancy. the seeds of this movement are embedded in the suffering that each of us here have experienced, and are still experiencing. it is no different in structure than say, the civil rights movement or women's suffrage. when people decided that it was no longer acceptable to be forced to quench thirst from alternate drinking fountains, find transport at the back of the bus, or accept political decisions made solely by old white males, push for change was engaged. likewise, here we find humans that no longer find it acceptable to ingest the mind-altering chemicals of the pharmaceutical industrial complex, the ineptitude of the doctors who are free-lunched into prescribing the chemicals, and the veritable tsunami of life-dismantling symptoms that engulf relief-seeking patients in the aftermath.

 

there is one quality that makes this movement towards social change different for me personally. i've supported causes in the past, and went to the megaphone for them - but i have never been so personally affected by the cause, its roots, and its prospective outcomes. i think that most people who begin to get their feet back under them post-withdrawal, or even mid-withdrawal, can't help but be filled with the sense that "this should never, ever have happened to me, and this should never happen to another." i know that in acute withdrawal, i said over and over again that if i had a worst enemy, i would not even wish the torture of withdrawal upon them.

 

your post is inspirational in that it frames what is happening exquisitely. so often, i think we feel like these tiny little voices calling out from our respective boxes - expressing our suffering, offering our love and support, sharing our victories and our struggles - but collectively, it is more than that. we are creating documentation that will become living, breathing, primary source material for future reference. not only by those who might otherwise have sought the script to ease their own human woes, but for the doctors who care enough to check into the repercussions of what they are handing out. so that one day, they will actually take note of the fallout from pharmacological negligence BEFORE they write w/ unlimited refills.

 

i honor the presence of every one on this site. we wash ashore here gasping for breath and find people who suffer, and have suffered, the way we do. our stories of how we arrived here, symptoms we experience, and how we are climbing out of it may differ - but we are truly brothers and sisters in arms. perhaps some day a site like this will no longer be necessary - when the winds of change shift standard practice away from these drugs as a default - perhaps partially due to the chorus we join in here.

 

thank you again for your insight. you've inspired me today. greatly.

 

hang in there.

 

dave


1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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mattinsmom

Shall I start with "i've missed you"? I have. Sorry that I disappeared, life blew-up and by the time I reach my computer I am fried. I am very happy to see that things continue in the healing direction for you! 

 

So. like every other night - I'm gonna run. Just know that I think about you a lot. 


Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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rapunzel2

makes perfect sense, Rhi.


in 2002- 0,5 tablet cipramil for half a year, ended it uneventfully. in 2006 - citalopram for half a year, ended in horrific state, ditched the drugs CT. 2007-2008 not feeling well but drug free. in 2008 prozac 20mg + quetiapine 25mg. 2009 tried to stop, ended up in hole after couple of months, started zoloft. 2009-2011 zoloft 50mg. went to 25mg in 2011 summer, it resulted in half a year horrible suffering. reinstated, changed drugs, nothing happened. by 2012 beginning suddenly felt great and CT meds. after 4 months came suddenly most horrible human suffering that's possible. was started on prozac and questiapine. started tapering slowly, GFCF diet and Hardy Nutritionals vitamins in 2013 summer. 

current medications: 1) fluoxetine and quetiapine since Aug 2012; 2) Daily Essential Nutrients by Hardy Nutritionals 7 capsules / since May 2013 + omega3; 3) Gluten-free-casein-free diet since june 2013

 

Started withdrawing slowly since april 2013. Mostly around 10% cuts. 

April'13 - March'14: fluoxetine 40mg -> 19,5mg; quetiapine 50mg -> 40mg
April'14-March'15: fluoxetine 19,5mg -> 14,4mg; quetiapine 40mg -> 22mg

April'15-March'16: fluoxetine 14,4mg -> 7,4mg; quetiapine 22mg -> 15mg

April'16-March'17: fluoxetine 7,4mg -> 5,0mg; quetiapine 15mg -> 7,25mg

April'17-March'18: fluoxetine 5,0mg -> 4,0mg; quetiapine 7,25mg -> 0 (as of 1st Feb 2018)!!!!

April´18-March´19: fluoxetine 4,0mg - > 2,3mg

Finished my taper on 23 July 2019!!!!!! ZERO drugs in my system!!! jumped off from 1,4mg fluoxetine which was unfortunately too high jump-off point for me. suffering severe withdrawal since. delayed onset came 4 months after jumping.

 

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Rhiannon

Well, here I am back again in yuck withdrawal mode. It's been a while. I've had so much going on that I've had to taper super slowly, if at all, so it's been a while since I've experienced these kinds of feelings. In the past month and a half I've pushed it a little harder and come down 5% on Xanax and 5% on Valium and 3% on the Celexa, and I'm feeling it.

 

It's not terrible, it's tolerable, but it's weird to experience again. I'm extra sensitive to sounds, light, sensory stimulation in general. I tend to feel anxious about things that aren't really rationally all that problematic, and when something IS problematic I go into full alert mode. My ground state is sort of general crankiness and pessimism. And my tummy is super extra sensitive to what I eat.

 

Plus I'm having lots of memories of bad times, plus remembering (and having trouble forgiving myself for) how dysfunctional I was and what a terrible mother I was during the years on the drugs, especially the worst years of that time, when I was also going through menopause and using hormones. It's like, now that I'm myself again, it's so hard to accept that I acted in ways that are so contrary to my feelings and values. My daughters are SO important to me. That these drugs made me such a terrible mother to them, especially my youngest, is absolutely the hardest thing for me to deal with about those lost years. The fact that I lost my life savings and career and house and friends, that's not so great, but it's nothing like the grief I feel about not being there for my baby.

 

Oh well, it will get better. Not the history, that won't change, but I will be able to feel better in spite of it, once the withdrawal fades, I do know that from experience. Meanwhile though I'm sort of doing the turtle pulling into her shell thing.

 

Going to hold for a couple of weeks, make another small cut, and then hold again, until after a trip I have coming up in May.

 

It sure is frustrating to have to taper so slowly at these tiny doses. 


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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mattinsmom

I'm sorry, It is so hard to go from making big strides to the putter. Kinda feels like being blind-sided. I hear you. 

 

You're right, it will get better but in the meantime it simply sucks. 

 

I know that you are beating yourself up over your kids. I can't make that any better - but neither does beating yourself up. Deep breaths. Know that you did the best you could at the time, even if it wasn't all that great. Do what you can  now. And know that there are lessons your kids needed to learn too even if none of you know what they are just yet. It all happened for a reason. 

 

Memories suck. I see, hear, and feel you with those. Fist bump for surviving my friend. 

 

Hang in there because I am hanging in there and I need you. Of course you can hang in there for your own personal success and growth but if you need a fall back plan, I'm here.


Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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mattinsmom

ps - you do know that I called you a moose in my thread because you said "if I had any dementia then you were a moose", right? 

 

Today any better for you?


Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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Rhiannon

I followed the moose reference, yes! :-) I don't mean to invalidate your concerns about cognitive issues that you may be having and your concerns about how those may progress. I'm not inside your head, I believe you that you are experiencing things not working the way they should, and I hear your fear and can relate and I am so, so sorry. I'm just saying: today, you aren't somebody with dementia. People with dementia are not capable of the kind of complex and nuanced communication and self-awareness that you demonstrate here. I'm not trying to minimize or sugar-coat what you're going through though.

 

Thank you for your support and for as always saying just what I needed to hear. I'm sorry you're back here since you're back here because things are sucky, but I'm always so grateful to hear from you.

 

Today was a good day. I've had the weekend off and spent time with good people and got in one shorter walk and today a really nice long hike. I still feel sort of on edge, but I seem to be coping with it okay.

 

I am SO enjoying my friends, having friends, being able to connect with people, enjoying social company, after so many years on ADs and benzos which just destroyed that. I've watched the unfolding of my social self over the last few years, particularly after I got down below about 2-3 mg on the Celexa. It's very difficult to put into words, but there's a definite difference in empathy and how well I can interpret other people's signals and how satisfying I find their company. People seem to like me now, too. It's amazing and wonderful getting that back. Even feeling crappy, it's so nice--people are pretty forgiving of my slightly more tense than usual mood, which I'm really grateful for. 

 

Since my work schedule (2:30 to 11 pm) makes it really hard to have a social life, I fill up my rare evenings off with people. So today was a people day, so it was a good day. I'm feeling...hmmm, well, not exactly happy, but...more buoyant.

 

Thanks for asking, Amy! I know this is a tough time for you. I wish I could be there and just hang out with you. Or better yet, beam you up here, where spring is well under way, an early warm spring, with temperatures in the 70s and sunny skies and everything blooming. I'd take you where I went today:

http://science.halleyhosting.com/nature/bloomtime/egorge/14/pics/Catherine%20Creek05-02-2014b.jpg

 

Things should be warming up soon up there in MA too, I expect. Hang in there.  


Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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mammaP

Glad you had a good day with nice people Rhi. It's a shame you got hit by a wave when you are so careful, waves suck! 

 

I get what you mean about feeling like you were a bad mother. I feel terrible for some of the things I did when my youngest was still at a tender age. The others were teenagers and one was married when my nightmare started. She said to me that she never thought of me as anything but ill, and loved me regardless. I didn't do anything bad to or toward her but was completely nuts for a while.  Now I am off the effexor I don't feel as bad because I can see what really happened, and that it wasn't all bad for her. I was in hell but tried my best to carry on with life. She doesn't remember it as being a bad time, just remembers that I couldn't do what other mums did with their kids. Today I can see that I wasn't as bad as I felt I had been and forgive myself for my shortcomings. It was not me during those times, it was the drugs and withdrawal, and all I have been able to remember are the really bad parts.  I hope you will find some good memories too, it feels good to remember those hidden gems.


**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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mattinsmom

Oh, Rhi - You are one of the very few people in my life who could say anything and I wouldn't take offense or feel like my experience was being minimized. Let-r-rip my friend. 

 

I am so glad that you have found people. I remember when you were not into people at all! I remember you feeling stuck in your house and uncomfortable with socializing. I am so, so happy to hear that your life is filling with, well, life. I do hear that things are not peachy keen and yet you get up every day and take another step. I also remember your first camping/hiking trip. How far you have come!

 

You already know that things will get better, just as I do. I'm choosing to wallow in self-pity a little longer, but we do both know that this passes. 

 

One question...I looked at that link you posted and I am confused by the green stuff on the bottom of the page. Is that what some people call grass? And the colors, are they known as flowers? :)

 

Winter isn't disappearing just yet. We had snow this morning but it didn't stick. Another round of gloom/wet expected for this weekend. I swear the first dry and sunny day I am going to run outside naked and squeal like a little girl.  


Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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ten0275

rhi, hello.

just stopping by to thank you very much for your thoughtful post on my thread. i responded to a few things there - you really got my gears turning in a productive way today. i totally appreciate the care you gave in thinking about my situation and writing.

i was really happy to read that you had a nice day sunday. i hope you are continuing to feel more solid. that link you included looked absolutely divine to the weather-weary east coast crew, i can tell you. what a place to take a hike!

that's a heck of a work schedule you have - an atypical shift. as you had asked on my thread about work flexibility, i work a flexible schedule, which essentially means that as long as i complete what i need to complete in a 40+ hour work week, i can work at any hour of any day - and technically, i can work from anywhere - though being in the office is often a necessity for technical reasons. can i take time off? - yes. but i find that with the flexible schedule - beyond meeting obligations, i can kind of dance around my symptoms as they present. i'm glad your relatively rare people-night gave you some buoyancy. i like that word - it, well, floats.

hang in there, and thanks again rhi.

dave


1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞

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mattinsmom

Well, a sunny day arrived and I was too sick to go squealing but I did soak it in. 70* and I was outside bundled - but outside. Do you get to go outside much during the daytime? Is that glorious sun landing upon your face and blessing you with vitamin D? Are you finding time for that? I sure hope so. Has buoyant turned into happy?

 

Are you ok?

 

I miss you my friend.  


Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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Addax

I've been following your thread and keep meaning to comment... Your message in my thread reminded me that I needed to get off my butt an do it!

 

I'm so glad you're enjoying your friends (when your schedule allows). In just the year since I've been a member it seems like I've watched you burst out of a bubble. Oddly, the image that comes to mind is of the cool-aid guy bursting through a wall.

 

You've had some very difficult things you've had to deal with outside of withdrawal, but it seems like you are emerging from everything with new vigor and more contentment, and you've done it while continuing to support so many others. Incredible!

 

I also want to thank you for your enthusiastic and empathic support since I've been here. It's been invaluable to me. The timing and sentiment in Your last message on my thread couldn't have been better... And saying that I was relatively young made me smile :-).

 

You rock, Rhi!


1988-2012: Prozac @ 60mg to treat an eating disorder. Several unsuccessful attempts to discontinue.Fall 2012: Failed attempt to discontinue then -> 40mg Prozac and added 150mg Wellbutrin.Late summer 2013:Began slower Prozac taper.Spring 2014:Got to 10mg Prozac, 75mg of Wellbutrin -April 2014: 9mg Prozac & 37.5mg Wellbutrin 2x/day -> 9mg Prozac & 25 mg Wellbutrin 2x/day->9mg Prozac 1x/day & ~8mg Wellbutrin 2x/day -> 8.1mg Prozac, 0 WellbutrinSept '14: 8.1mg Prozac -> crashed hardOct '14: 10mg ProzacNov '14: 20mg -> 30mgDec '14: 30mg, Feb 10: 27mg. Mar 7: 25mg Mar 21, 2015: 20mg. May 21, 2016: 20mg and holding strong.

 

My experience: http://rxisk.org/antidepressant-withdrawal-a-prozac-story/

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mattinsmom

(((HUG)))


Current:

Lorazapam2mg: 4/9/152mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness.  

Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. 

 

Discontinued:

Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0

Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/1450mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0

Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage 

Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes.

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stan

hello,

 

what  news ?


for anxiety 

12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 

67 years old - 9 years  med free

 

in protracted withdrawal

rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate,

function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little 

 

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starburst

Rhi I am only halfway through reading your thread but I wanted to send you a big hug because reading it has helped me so much. I am inspired by your testimony.

I-Was-Thinking-of-You-And-Send-You-A-Hug

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erer

Hi Rhiannon,

 

I was trying to send you a PM just now, but it seems your mailbox is full. Is there a way I could contact you?

 

All the best,

erer


  • 2,5 years of slowly tapering down Cymbalta from 60 mg. Then tried going from 8,44 mg to 1 mg in 8 days. (April 1st 2015). That's when the real hell started. Reinstated. Didn't help. I was added Ativan (2 mg 2 times a day for relentless akathisia that started with jumping Cymbalta). For years had been taking Zopitin 7,5 mg and Stilnox 10 mg for I had not been able to sleep naturally since the 1st day I started Cymbalta). Used to take Xanax occasionally.
  • All of the above were stopped cold turkey when I was hospitalized in the beginning of May 2015.
  • Prior to that I have been on and off the whole spectrum of different AD-s for 15 years (since I was 17).

My introduction.

 

Tapering:

  • Olanzapine (starting point 2,1 mg): Jan 2016  /---/ April 2018 0 mg. (From 2,1 mg to 0 mg in 1y 3mo).
  • Diazepam (starting at 5 mg) : switching to liquid May 2018;  4,6 mg (June 2018) /---/ 0 mg (Feb 2020) (From 10 to 5 - nobody knows, from 5 to 0 in 1 y 10 mo)
  • Valdoxan (starting at 25 mg): switching to liquid (Feb 2019) /---/ 12,5 mg (Feb 2020)

 

Supplements: D3, turmeric, probiotics, magnesium threonate + glycinate, B12+folate, omega 3.

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Djones1984

Hi Rhiannon,

 

How have you been I was also trying to get a hold of you for some advice. You were so kind to me a few years ago.


April 2013 Doc put me back on 40mg of celexa for 2.5 weeks than switched to Paxil 3 weeks adverse reaction and kindling reaction
July 2013 5mg celexa and .5mg klonopin daily

5/15/16 started lamictal and currently at 25mg daily once a day.

1/1/17 crossed over from .5mg klonopin to 10mg Valium.

3/1/17 off celexa from getting down to around .25mg.

5/25/17 started tapering the Valium from 10mg to 9mg

6/25/17 dropped down to 8mg Valium 

currently on 8mg of Valium and 25mg of lamictal once a day in the morning never could handle more than 25mg of lamictal and never really felt anything from it.

7/2/17 updosed to 10mg Valium and holding split twice a day and holding.

3/1/18 dropped Valium from 10mg to 9.5mg

4/1/18 dropped Valium from 9.5 to 9mg still on 25mg lamictal.

Updosed 6/20/18 Valium 10mg and 25mg lamictal and holding.

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Athena

Hey there Rhi,

 

just to say that I miss your kind words and I hope you are doing really well.

 

Take care

 

Athena


2000-2001: Effexor              2005-2012: Celexa, Zoloft, Effexor, desipramin, Wellbutrin, mirtazepin, Lamictal, Remeron, Abilify, nortriptylin, Cipralex, Cymbalta, and others I don't remember. Really bad side effects to all.
Sept-Nov 2012: Paxil 20mg, Wellbutrin 100mg, Imovane 5mg      Nov 2012: Paxil 20mg --> 10mg
Dec 2012: Paxil 10mg-->0; 1 week later: HUGE WD symptoms. Started to get informed on the internet and back to 10mg Paxil.
Dec 2012-Jan 2013: Paxil 10mg, Wellbutrin 100mg, Imovane 2.5mg        End Jan 2013: P 9mg, W 100mg, I 2.0mg
Feb 2013: P 8mg, W 100mg, I 1.5mg      April 2013: P 7mg, W 100mg, I 1.25mg       May 2013: P 7mg, W 90mg, I 1mg    

June 2013: P 7mg, W 80mg, I 0mg       July 1/2013: P 7, W 70     July 22/2013: P 7, W 60             Aug 2013: P 7, W 50       Sept 2013: P 6.1, W 50     Oct 2013: P up to 6.3, W 50     Nov 2013: P 6.2 to 5.9, W 50      Dec 2013: P 5.9, W 40      Jan 2014: P 5.3, W40        Feb 2014: P 5.3, W 30      March-April 2014: P 5.3, W 26    May 2014: P 5.3, W 20        June 2014: P 5.3 W 15     July 2014:  P 5.3, W 14       Aug 2014: P 5.3, W up to 15     Sept 2014: P 5.3, W 14    Oct 2014: P 4.8, W 14      Nov 2014: P 4.3, W 14     Dec 2014-Jan 2015: P 3.9, W 14     Feb 2015: P 3.9, W 12    March 2015: P 3.6, W 12   April-May 2015: P 3.3, W 12    June 2015: P 3.3, W 10    July 2015: P 3.3, W 8   Aug-Sept 2015: P 3.3, W 6   Oct 2015: P 3.0, W 6   Nov 2015: P 2.7, W 6   Dec 2015: P 2.4, W 6   Jan-Feb 2016: P 2.4, W 5  March 2016: P 2.2, W 5   April 2016: P 2.2, W 4   May-June 2016: P 2.2, W 3  July 2016: P 2.2, W 2  Aug 2016: P 2.2, W 1  Sept 2016: P 2.2, W 0!!  Oct 2016: P 2.0   Nov 2016-Jan 2017: P 1.8  Feb-Mar 2017: P 1.9  April-May 2017: P 1.8   June 2017: P 1.6 July-Dec 2017: P 1.5  Jan-April 2018: P 1.6

Others: Cytomel 25mcg (thyroid), vit. C, vit D, Omega-3 fish oil, Magnesium bisglycinate , Melatonin 1mg, 81mg Aspirin, Milk peptides, L-theanine, Valericalm tincture mix, scullcap tincture, Suan Zao Ren (jujube seeds)

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Cabinhope

Rhi,

I just want to say you are an inspiration to me. I know, you're just a normal gal in Portland or Seattle or Bend or wherever.....climbing up and out like anyone. I just joined a couple of months ago, but because of your multiple drug situation I feel particularly interested in your story.

You can read my intro, but in brief I ended up on 7 drugs. I am currently on these 7 drugs....and facing the gigantic Mt Hood in front of me. And I'm just charting my hike, sizing up the base of the mountain, deciding on the clearest path.

Your theory, and subsequent action, to take them all down together, incrementally, makes huge sense to me.

I'd love to hear from you or have you follow me...to learn from.

I've already learned that steady-as-she-goes and slow is an absolute. This will be a years long process.

I admire your strength of conviction, your tenacity, your belief in this 'movement'.

I certainly hope I can be a guiding light for others way down the path that you clearly have been.

Thanks for sharing your authenticity!

Hope


1995-2012 Paxil 20mg, Tegretol 200mg

2012 Gynecologist screwed me up massively by suggesting a quick and easy switch to Lexapro from Paxil.  Eviscerated CNS.  Ended up on...

Paxil 40,  Mirtazapine 15, Lithium 450, Trazodone 50, Pristiq 100, Klonopin .25, Lamictal 125

August 2014 Pax 20,  Mirt 7.5, lith 450, traz 50, Pristiq 100, Klon .25, Lamic 125

April 2016–May 2019

Verrrrry slow, slow tapering of different ones here and there.  Currently sitting on:

Paxil 20, Lithium 225, Pristiq 100, Klonopin .25, Lamictal 50

Quote

Never surprise the brain!

 

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Athena

Hi Rhiannon,

 

I would love to hear how you are doing. I miss you. I hope things are ok.

 

Sending you love and hope

 

Athena


2000-2001: Effexor              2005-2012: Celexa, Zoloft, Effexor, desipramin, Wellbutrin, mirtazepin, Lamictal, Remeron, Abilify, nortriptylin, Cipralex, Cymbalta, and others I don't remember. Really bad side effects to all.
Sept-Nov 2012: Paxil 20mg, Wellbutrin 100mg, Imovane 5mg      Nov 2012: Paxil 20mg --> 10mg
Dec 2012: Paxil 10mg-->0; 1 week later: HUGE WD symptoms. Started to get informed on the internet and back to 10mg Paxil.
Dec 2012-Jan 2013: Paxil 10mg, Wellbutrin 100mg, Imovane 2.5mg        End Jan 2013: P 9mg, W 100mg, I 2.0mg
Feb 2013: P 8mg, W 100mg, I 1.5mg      April 2013: P 7mg, W 100mg, I 1.25mg       May 2013: P 7mg, W 90mg, I 1mg    

June 2013: P 7mg, W 80mg, I 0mg       July 1/2013: P 7, W 70     July 22/2013: P 7, W 60             Aug 2013: P 7, W 50       Sept 2013: P 6.1, W 50     Oct 2013: P up to 6.3, W 50     Nov 2013: P 6.2 to 5.9, W 50      Dec 2013: P 5.9, W 40      Jan 2014: P 5.3, W40        Feb 2014: P 5.3, W 30      March-April 2014: P 5.3, W 26    May 2014: P 5.3, W 20        June 2014: P 5.3 W 15     July 2014:  P 5.3, W 14       Aug 2014: P 5.3, W up to 15     Sept 2014: P 5.3, W 14    Oct 2014: P 4.8, W 14      Nov 2014: P 4.3, W 14     Dec 2014-Jan 2015: P 3.9, W 14     Feb 2015: P 3.9, W 12    March 2015: P 3.6, W 12   April-May 2015: P 3.3, W 12    June 2015: P 3.3, W 10    July 2015: P 3.3, W 8   Aug-Sept 2015: P 3.3, W 6   Oct 2015: P 3.0, W 6   Nov 2015: P 2.7, W 6   Dec 2015: P 2.4, W 6   Jan-Feb 2016: P 2.4, W 5  March 2016: P 2.2, W 5   April 2016: P 2.2, W 4   May-June 2016: P 2.2, W 3  July 2016: P 2.2, W 2  Aug 2016: P 2.2, W 1  Sept 2016: P 2.2, W 0!!  Oct 2016: P 2.0   Nov 2016-Jan 2017: P 1.8  Feb-Mar 2017: P 1.9  April-May 2017: P 1.8   June 2017: P 1.6 July-Dec 2017: P 1.5  Jan-April 2018: P 1.6

Others: Cytomel 25mcg (thyroid), vit. C, vit D, Omega-3 fish oil, Magnesium bisglycinate , Melatonin 1mg, 81mg Aspirin, Milk peptides, L-theanine, Valericalm tincture mix, scullcap tincture, Suan Zao Ren (jujube seeds)

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ChessieCat

Rhi has written her success story which you can find here: 

 

 

 

 


Being very patient.  I'll get there - slowly.  ETA mid 2021

ADs:  25 years - 1 unknown, Prozac (caused muscle weakness), Zoloft/sertraline; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after)

Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (mild Serotonin Toxicity)

Began tapering Oct 2015  Current from 12 Sept 2020:  Pristiq 0.625 mg (compounded)

My tapering program

My Intro (goes to my tapering graph)

My website - includes my brief history + links to videos & information on the web

PLEASE NOTE:  I am not a medical professional.  I provide information and make suggestions.

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Rhiannon

Topic title:  Rhiannon Revisiting

 

Hi folks! My original Intro topic is closed (now moved to Rhiannon's success story) because my last post was in...2015, I think. (That was an intense summer. I quit my job, moved to another town to another job, hated that job, got my old job back, and moved back but to a different town with a longer commute to work but more friends nearby. Then that next spring I became a grandmother, and then moved about two more times, and then moved back to the original town I was in...Sigh...It's been a busy few years!)

 

Still crawl-tapering the whole time.

 

Anyway, I've been checking back in on the site here this past week because back at the beginning of this past June I jumped off my citalopram at 0.1 mg, and just now (at the usual almost-3-month point) I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms more intense than I've experienced in a long time. Nothing like the severity of how it was back in the old days, thank Goddess, but dangit, I have a busy life now and no room for WD! I took on a new position at work that is quite a bit more stressful (but also less boring and pays more). I'm a Nana to a little girl who lives about a 90-minute drive away and I make that round trip about every other weekend and often one time in between as well. I have friends and I try to keep up with them. I bought a double-wide that gives me lots of space but needs a lot of work. I'm doing an online course in orthopedic massage (I already had the massage experience and just got my license back up and going after many years of not doing it).

 

It's been a slog sometimes, I've had subtle withdrawal, especially the past year or so as I was coming down probably a too fast off that last half milligram of citalopram. Reviewing the latest by Horowitz I see that was probably 15% receptor occupancy, so really it was a lot faster than I was giving it credit for at that low dose. 

 

But I've been mostly able to sleep and function. So I am NOT HAPPY GRRRR about the re-emergence of WD symptoms. (And I know most of y'all who are coming to this site are in much worse shape than I am right now and you definitely have permission to play the world's tiniest violin for me!)

 

Anyway, so, like I said, I've been peeking back in here into the forum (the forum that saved my life by the way) trying to get some info about reinstatement. Which I think I have. Somebody called Lloyd made this awesome spreadsheet, so cool! 

 

I think given that I tapered down to 0.1 mg before jumping off and most of that taper was years-slow, I probably could ride out the WD. I'm just on edge, extra tense, not sleeping well, a little more prone to spiraling out of control with anxiety and worrying and stuff. And having the gut issues and not sleeping well. 

 

But in the past when I CT'd off meds way back when, it was SO disastrous, I'm afraid, what if it DOES get a lot worse? What if I can't work? What if I can't be a good Nana? What if I become suicidal again? That was my everyday state for decades, but now I hardly ever feel more than a twinge of it and it never lasts long. I don't want to go back there. 

 

And from Lloyd's chart it looks like people generally do pretty well with a small reinstatement after a few months, which is my situation. So I'm going to give it a try at 0.03 mgai.

 

Wish me luck. Save me a column on that chart. :)

 

--Rhiannon

 

Edited by ChessieCat
added topic title and (moved to success story)

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Adili13

I followed you even though I knew you weren’t active on the forum just in the hope that you would return! You’ve been such a  huge inspiration to me and so many others with your posts! I’ve used them countless times for guidance. 

 

I hope the small reinstatement of celexa works out well for you! Seems like a prudent move.


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6

 

Medication signature.docx

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Altostrata

Rhi's story continues.....so I re-opened this topic. Hi, Rhi!


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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bubbles

Hello Rhi, sorry to hear you're having some symptoms again.
B


My thread here at SA: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/1775-bubbles/page/14/

2005 St John's Wort / 2006-2012 Lexapro 20mg, 2 failed attempts to stop, tapered over 4.5 months in early 2012

January 2013 started Sertraline, over time worked up to 100mg / July 2014 dropped from 100mg to 75mg, held for six months

2015 tapered to 50mg over several months, held for several months, some more drops

2016 Feb 35mg, 6 Mar 33mg, more drops (note big drop (calc error) & up to 25mg), more drops (about 2mg at a time)

2017 - more small drops, more long holds

2018 March at 11mg;  April 20 9mg; June 11 8.1mg; (July 10 7.7mg / July 18 7.3mg); ( Sept 2 7.2mg, Sept 5 7.1mg, Sept 9 7mg); 30 Sept 6.5mg, ? 6mg, 23 Nov 5.5mg) 19 Dec 5mg

2019 (micro drops over two weeks 24 Mar 4.9mg, 28 Mar 4.8mg, 31 Mar 4.7mg, 4 Apr 4.6mg, 7 Apr 4.5mg / 22 April 4.4mg, 26 April 4.3mg, 2 May 4.2mg, 5 May 4.1mg, 9 May 4mg), 3 Oct 3.9mg, (20 Oct 3.8mg, 27 Oct 3.7mg, 3 Nov 3.6mg), 24 Nov 3.5mg, 8 Dec 3.4mg, 15 Dec 3.3mg, 22 Dec 3.2mg

2020 19 Jan 3.1mg, 26 Jan 3.0mg; 1 Mar 2.9, 7 Mar 2.8, May (some drops here) 24 May 2.5, May 29 2.4, June 21 2.3, June 28 2.2mg,  July 4 2.1mg, July 24 (or maybe a bit before) 2mg

Current Sertraline: July 24: 2 mg / Armour Thyroid / endless allergy meds, erg

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nick1990

Welcome back Rhi , although you and us all would rather you didn’t need to return with any trouble. Well done on getting off Citalopram , I really hope that your tiny reinstatement helps ease the symptoms.

 

 


Started Citalopram in 2005 (aged 15) for apparent "OCD" - 60mg 

July 2015 attempted 2 x 10% + cuts 4 weeks apart. WD symptoms intense at times. Need to slow down.

 

November 2016 - Resumed taper. 1.25 - 1.5% decrease weekly approx.

44.5mg November 2016. Jan 2017 42.5 mg. March 2017 40 mg. June 2017 37mg. September 2018 22mg. Nov 2018 Holding at 22mg to stabilise from moderate wave. January 2020 - Holding, mostly feeling fine, but still having some waves at times. 

 

February 2020 - Resumed taper , 1.5% reduction weekly/every two weeks. 

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Carmie

Hi Rhi, 

 

I’ve read some of your posts and you are so positive. I’m sorry you are having some problems again, but you’ve come so far. Thanks so much for coming back and encouraging others. 

 

Sending you lots of hugs🤗🤗


Been on antipsychotics, benzos, antidepressants and painkillers for chronic pain. 

Have been cold turkeyed and put on and off all sorts of things.  Was suicidal n ended up in a psych ward because I had akathisia from withdrawals. I can’t remember what I was put on but when I was released was in the same predicament with severe akathisia n was suicidal again.

Back to the psych ward and I was given a number of different drugs while there. Tapered off one when I got home n have been trying to taper off Seroquel since. It’s been years, tapering slowly but still having severe withdrawals.

I’ve  tapered from 300mg of Seroquel to 7.5mg./ March 10th 2019=7.25mg / 17th of April 2019= 7mg / June 5th=6.75mg/ July 14th=6.50mg/ 28th of August=6.25mg/ 10th of Oct= 6.20mg/ 21st October 6mg/ 16th of December 5.80mg/21st of January 5.60mg/

 

I AM NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL. These are my own views based on what I’ve experienced myself.

 

 

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