boomshakalaka My success story!

[boomshakalaka]

I've decided to come back to write an update on how I'm doing. Last time I posted was 3 years ago when I was 8 months into my withdrawals. I will post a link to my post 3 years ago. To sum it up 3 years ago I was having feelings of depression, hopelessness, inability to feel emotions and I felt like nothing excited me in life. The inability to experience emotions and the ability to experience excitement took a long time to come back. It was sort of a gradual process. I would say I felt perfectly fine after around 3 years of withdrawing from citalopram. Keep in mind that I had only taken it for around 4 years and varying doses between 10-20 mg. 

 

 After 2 years of withdrawing I felt a lot better, and I could clearly see the patterns of windows and waves. However, now thinking back the years I was withdrawing was quite a constant struggle. I wish I could tell you to do this and that etc. but I've come to the conclusion that the biggest healer is time and that it really gets better. I've been really fortunate to have great friends that have always been there for me when I needed someone to talk to. I also spent a lot of time in the gym and did everyday normal stuff like going to school. I was able to maintain quite a normal life and still progress in my life even though I wasn't feeling well all the time. 

 

Right now in my life I have 1 year left of my master's degree in my business school, I'm exercising a lot, I'm dating a new great girl, I have great friends and overall my life feels great. The most important thing though is that my mental health is great now. I don't get depressed any more than a normal person, I don't suffer from an inability to feel emotions or feel a lack of excitement in my life.  I could go on to tell more about my life, but I don't think it's necessary since the message is that I feel cured now. 

 

My heart truly goes out to anyone suffering from these withdrawals. My years withdrawing destroyed many  of my relationships and made my whole life a constant struggle. I remember at my worst constantly checking these forums and constantly thinking about starting to take antidepressants again. It truly felt like I was trapped. I wish everyone that is suffering from these withdrawals to know that it truly gets better with time!

 

I also hope that more people that have gotten trough these withdrawals would come back to write their stories. I remember these stories being really helpful while I was withdrawing and I probably read all of them. That is the biggest reason I decided to come back and post.

 

Take care!

 

 

 

The link to my previous post 3 years ago (8 months into withdrawals)

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15408-boomshakalaka-my-journey-of-becoming-a-better-person/?tab=comments#comment-297353

[Altostrata]

Congratulations! Thanks so much for coming back and letting us know you're doing so well, boom.

 

For the record, please follow these instructions Please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

 

[sunnysideup69]

Wow, this is great to read.....thanks so much ❤️ 

[Cocopuffz17]

Amazing! Great work! I am super pumped that you are doing well! Congrats! 

[Erell]

Thank you boomshakalaka for taking the time to share your Success Story !

You're right, these stories are very helpful !

 

And Congratulations, I'm happy for you and this new free life ! ❤

[PH1]

Great to hear this good news, Boomshakalaka (love that name!).    Thanks for coming back to share your success and to give others hope.    All the best to you!

[Glosmom]

Thanks for coming back to share your success story!! Congratulations!

[Amira]

Thank you for coming back to share your story. Congratulations!

[anytriptaline]

Congratulations, success stories are the always needed hope here

[DaBro]

Thanks for coming back. These posts give us hope. I’m coming up to 2 years off Sertraline. I lost my job (but kept my family and friends) due to WD (took redundancy before I was pushed) but just got a new job and feel this is the beginning of the end. My symptoms now are down to insomnia once a week or so, daily tinnitus and morning cortisol rush and the occasional low mood that I know will pass in a short time. These are all manageable but not debilitating. I hope like you at 2 years my worst is over and by 3 years (or less)  it’s insignificant. My WD time is coming up to the time I took Sertraline. 

[Kimboslice]

Hey @DaBro.. Great to see your getting better and back on the horse in working terms. Like you, I had to pack my job as a door to door salesman in after 1 year of withdrawal primarily due my complete loss of social competence which is obviously a vital skill to perform well in the job. As of the beginning of the month I passed the 18 months mark off sertraline and have started to improve somewhat albeit in a completely non linear fashion which, as I’m sure you know, makes it bloody difficult to keep tabs on the positives. You stated previously you hope your nearing the last straight. Quick question. Have the symptoms  impaired brain function and social capability been ones you’ve been challenged with and if so did you  experience any notable progression between months 18-24?

 

Any feed back would be great.

 

kind Regards,

 

kimbo

 

 

[DaBro]

Hi @Kimboslice, 

 

So first let me talk a little about quitting my job. I came off Sertraline because I didn't like the fact it muted how I felt, never really down, but never really up either. I also felt tired a lot, I'd get home from work and lie on the sofa in a Comatose state (not sleeping though). I also had tinnitus which I thought was due to the Sertraline. So I saw my Doctor, who said that because I was down to 12.5mg Sertraline, It probably wasn't doing anything anyway, so I decided to stop and go through the alleged 3 weeks of pain coming off SSRI's (ha ha).

 

When I quit on Nov 1 2016, I didn't really notice any change for 3 weeks, then the zaps started and Insomnia returned. I had a few 'black dog' moments too. I knew nothing about SSRI WD and so saw a specialist. I should point out that I went on SSRI's due to Chronic Fatigue caused by my work (company was taken over and I was sidelined) and heart surgery all within 2 months. My new manager was not sympathetic to my condition, my performance wasn't good (I had no mental stamina) and a number of (medical) people were telling me that until I left work I wouldn't feel better, so I left. It was only then I found out about SSRI WD.

 

So I left work 10 months after quitting SSRI's and it was in month 12 that things really went bad. I was bedbound with Nausea, sweating, zaps, etc....to this day I don't know if the trigger was stopping work so my body took the opportunity to properly heal, or whether it's just a thing that symptoms get worse after 12 months off SSRI's. I would say I had 3 big waves, each 6-8 weeks long with 1 week (amazing) windows in between. The first wave was very nauseous with low mood and fog, the second was more gastric with sickness, dizzyness and pressure behind my left eye. The 3rd wave has been more muscular with shakes and spasms in my legs and right arm. I get lip twitching and lose my voice 50% of days for 30 mins or so, but the good news is that though this my mental stamina and sharpness has improved. The symptoms I get now are sufficiently mild that I can do stuff and kind of ignore them, but they are there. The Insomnia is the worst, I hate going into a day with 3-4 hours sleep in me.

 

So to answer your question, a year ago I was lying in a chair on a daily basis to recharge plus I was typically 'hiding' somewhere in work once a day for 30 mins, also to recharge. I'm not doing that now, but I wouldn't say I'm back to how I was before my Chronic Fatigue, but I'm optimistic I will get there. And yes, months 12-18 were worse than 0-12. I take Fish oil and eat lots of greens and oily fish. I do mental exercises daily on apps. It's like my RAM is a bit broken still but my Hard Drive is OK. I think working again will help my cognitive skills improve, but I do need to pace myself carefully as if I do too much I pay for it the next day(s) still. Social Capability and Brain function are probably 80-90% back. I've gut Pulsate TInnitus and tingling hands as I write this, but I've done it. I remember thinking at 18 months I'd never work again, but at 21 months I'm ready to try going back. 

 

As Winston Churchill said, "If you find yourself in hell, keep going"

 

Hope this helps.

[LarryS]

On 8/5/2020 at 8:47 AM, boomshakalaka said:

I remember at my worst constantly checking these forums and constantly thinking about starting to take antidepressants again.

Your sentence above relates to me.  Thank you for your success story.

I know of one other person on this forum who gave into going back onto his antidepressant.  I'm not judging, but it seems sad to me.

As you say, only time will heal.  I'm 2 years and 2 months into my taper.  Keeping on, slow and steady.

 

[FarmGirlWorks]

On 8/5/2020 at 8:47 AM, boomshakalaka said:

I also hope that more people that have gotten trough these withdrawals would come back to write their stories. I remember these stories being really helpful while I was withdrawing and I probably read all of them. That is the biggest reason I decided to come back and post.

 

Congratulations so much @boomshakalaka (great name, btw). I read the Success Stories a jillion times to remind the little spark that was hidden deep inside the body that was healing from the carnage wreaked by psychiatric drugs that *recovery happens.* Good on you for coming back and adding to the Success Stories.

[persistente]

thank you

On 8/5/2020 at 5:47 PM, boomshakalaka said:

My heart truly goes out to anyone suffering from these withdrawals. My years withdrawing destroyed many  of my relationships and made my whole life a constant struggle. I remember at my worst constantly checking these forums and constantly thinking about starting to take antidepressants again. It truly felt like I was trapped. I wish everyone that is suffering from these withdrawals to know that it truly gets better with time!

 

[arbor]

Thank you, boomshakalaka, for your kind encouragement.  It's so good of you to come back to give someone like me (still very much in the thick of it) hope.

All my best to you,

Arbor

 

[Naczoz]

@boomshakalaka did you have pssd? what sexuall symptoms did u have? Did they resolve?

[boomshakalaka]

@Naczoz Sorry for taking so long to respond. Yes I did have quite a lot of sexual symptoms. First of all I had a lower sex drive for quite some time during my withdrawal. I would say my libido was back to normal after around 2 years of withdrawals. My somewhat young age could be a reason for my somewhat quick recovery. I recommend supplementing with maca powder, doing nofap and living a healthy lifestyle. Those 3 things helped me a lot. Another quite bad sexual symptom I had was premature ejaculation. I really have no idea why that was the case, however this side effect disappeared when my withdrawals got better.

[Parisien]

Hello @boomshakalaka, I have the same concerns as you premature ejaculation since stopping my antidepressant, did it come back overnight or gradually?

[Kate2301]

Hi Boom!

just wondered how your doing? I’m 3 months off and for the last 3 weeks felt better and better but now this morning was woke at 4am with racing thoughts and thumping heart felt crap all day nauseated and can’t eat! Did you feel anything like this at this stage? Really thought I was getting so much better!!