Jack37: Hello everyone, I need some help with Remeron / mirtazapine

[Jack37]

Hello everyone

 

The main question I have pertains to the last big paragraph at the bottom if anyone does not feel like reading all this that starts with "I jumped off mirtazapine".

 

 

My name is Jack. I have been at this for quite a while on another forum.  I need help and want to see if I can get other info or opinions here.

I have withdrawn from short term benzos three times going through a mild multi year withdrawal every time over the past 20 years. I did not know I was in withdrawal any of those times and just believed my doctors who told me I had fibromylgia and IBS and CFS which all developed after a doctor put me on librium for stomach some mild stomach spasms when I was 20 years old. I took it for six months at 5 mg per day and then CT'd it when the side effects got too annoying. Then I instantly developed fibromyalgia, IBS and CFS overnight just like that, lol. I feel like an idiot looking back but I did not even know what librium was and apparently neither did the doctor who put me on it. Anyway years later I took 10 mg Valium per night for a month after a motorcycle accident which the doctor told me was a muscle relaxer? CT'd that at the end of the month which reopened the whole librium can of worms from years earlier and I though oh that's back again. Then while obliviously in that withdrawal I was having bouts of insomnia and I took 10 mg valium per night for a week and stopped and then Ambien for a month and stopped cold turkey and then it all started again! I was still oblivious and thinking I was just living with this condition that goes in and out or remission randomly and never put two and two together until....

June 7th 2018 was and is the worst day of my life. My 9 year old daughter died suddenly of sepsis out of nowhere. She was healthy and then she was gone just like that. I tried to rush her to the hospital when she started going into shock but we could not get through the rush hour traffic. It would not have mattered anyway because it happened so fast. I pulled over and called 911 and she died right there in the middle of the highway in the arms of my wife and I. We got an escort to the hospital and I ran her inside but as I already knew it was too late and even if she had been in the OR when it happened I don't think there is anything they could have done. I am crying uncontrollably as I type this now three years later. I think it is an important part of the story nonetheless. As I lay in complete catatonic shock on the hospital floor just staring blankly into the ceiling and repeating the f word over and over and over and over the nurse brought me a wristband and a Xanax. This is probably the only use that benzos should be approved for in my opinion. It worked and it took me out of shock and I was able to contact my family and travel home. 

They released me with a few pills that I took sparingly over the next week. I had issues with sleep probably to my years of on and off benzo withdrawal and I had been taking melatonin on and off for couple years for sleep. But I now had PTSD. The melatonin gave me nightmare when I took it which it never did before the death of my daughter. The Xanax made me sleep great and I did not get the nightmares. I mentioned it to my doctor the next week and he gave me a script for .5 mg Xanax for 30 days. And then another 30. And then I started having interdose withdrawal which I though was the PTSD. I had non stop panic attacks all day which I never had before even in my other benzo withdrawals. I never had an anxiety or depression disorder. It was reasonable to think after such a traumatic event that this could change. Looking back I don't believe the PTSD had anything to do with it. I then was told to start taking it twice a day and then three times a day. At the height I was on 1.5 mg of Xanax a day which is more benzo than I ever took by far and I had issues which WAY smaller amounts before unbeknownst to me. I hit severe tolerance and starting to get extremely sick. I started the drug in June and come October I was deathly ill, unable to eat and losing 1 -2 lbs per day. Severe nausea and gastroparesis, malabsorption if something magically did get past my frozen stomach, panic, severe akathisia but so weak I could barely move anymore. I checked myself into psych because no one could figure out what was wrong with me. They cold turkeyed me off of the Xanax within days and then things got really crazy and I can not believe I survived the whole ordeal. I was slightly hallucinating like seeing moving patterns on the floor and that is when it finally dawned on me. IT WAS THE XANAX! Problem is now I was stuck in the psych ward with a bunch of clueless and kind of psychotic themselves doctors and I knew I had to get out and get access to the internet. After a few days they were concerned I was going to have a seizure so they reinstated me on Ativan. I tried to resist but I really could not go much longer. They tried a few doses of Zoloft which I had an immediate reaction to I think or it was the Xanax withdrawal. It's hard to say, they were basically just torturing me and I am kind of surprised their profession is allowed to operate in such a way. It's nuts. Anyway, I agreed to take Remeron and Ativan, lied about how great I was doing and managed to get released after about a month. I was not doing well though. I was in total hell. My vision was blurry, I could barely eat but the Remeron was starting to help with this. I agreed to daily outpatient care which I still can not believe I drove myself to everyday because I should not have been driving but it's in the past and no one got hurt. Over the next 6 weeks I tapered the Ativan against the will of the overseeing psychiatrist because I knew that I was in tolerance and that I would not get better until I was off. I still do not regret that decision. She helped me anyway when she saw that I was doing it with or without her input. I made it off of 2 mg of Ativan that I was reinstated on in about 6 weeks. The Remeron really helped this happen. I slept at night and started eating three meals a day despite the taper. It fixed my gastroparesis. 

I made relatively quick progress in my Xanax/Ativan withdrawal. I was in awful shape, still hearing echoes and having disassociation and panic but was back at work a couple weeks after my taper thanks to the remeron. At about 8 months off I was not healed but doing pretty good and decided to start tackling the Remeron.

That gets us current.

 

Remeron. I was on 15 mg of Remeron from November 2018 until August 2019. Then I started making 10 percent cuts. The first cut I held for a month. I was still sensitive from the benzo withdrawal and I felt it. I had burning skin, low grade fever on and off, anxiety, mild DP/DR, some dizziness, some muscle tension. I did not get insomnia. I did not get nausea. I then decided I did not like that so when I stabilized I started pushing forward as a microtaper. I would cut 2 percent or so every few days until the symptoms caught up and then I would hold. I liked this method much better. Sometimes I went too fast and would have to hold for months. I hit a rough patch in March-June 2020. I was pushing too hard. I felt the symptoms but ignored it. I ended up out of work for over a month. I refused to updose and just pushed through. The worse symptom was a persistent fever. I had a 99.5 fever for 41 consecutive days. It was nuts. It was not a true fever as if I layed down my temperature would return to 98.6 and under but when I did this my skin would burn like it was on fire. Then as soon as I started walking around I would get a low fever of 99 - 100 but the burning skin would stop. It was weird. I did stabilize around June and then pushed forward. I was much more cautious after that. I had a couple other rough patches but they were much shorter lived. I microtapered all the way down from 15 mg to a tiny .03 mg. I used a professionally compounded liquid at 15 mg per 5 ml. I was very functional for most of my taper.

 

I jumped off of mirtazapine at .03 mg on August 1 st 2021. That was almost 2 months ago. I think 7 weeks. I am in rough shape. 3 or 4 months ago I was doing really well. I was riding riding skateparks with my old bmx buddies. Riding half pipes, swimming, working hard and playing hard. At some points I felt 100 percent. However at the end of the taper I was starting to feel it a little. At the skatepark my heart would max out a little easier than I knew it should. I knew it was withdrawal. But I was at like .2 mg or something like that. I should have held there and stabilized but I did not. I felt decent, I just did not feel 100 percent. Then I jumped. I felt totally fine from the 1st until the 23rd. Then on the 23rd I just felt off. Then that night I ate my dinner and it just did not sit right. Almost like I had food poisoning. Then I laid down to go to sleep and wham. I got adrenaline surges. My blood pressure shot up to 160/110. I do not have high BP. I have had bordeline high BP during withdrawal but never before 3 years ago. I was vibrating all night and skin crawling. I have been in rough shape since. That was the worst of it. It has not been like that since. It has just sucked ever since. I have been running a 99.5 fever everyday since August 25th. It's been a whole month of that. At first it was no big deal. I felt like crap but I was active and I worked through it. But I feel like crap now and I am losing steam. I tapered so low. I was stable not long before I jumped. I rushed the end of the taper a little bit but I don't feel I rushed the taper in general. It took 2 years which is subjective but based on my symptoms and level of activity I think it was the right speed for me. Only thing is that in hindsight I think it should have been like a 2 years and 4 months taper. I feel like I should have stabilized on that .03 mg crumb for a while before I jumped. Now I am unsure if I should reinstate and do that or if I should ride this thing out. I don't know if 2 months is too long to reinstate. I also don't know if this will pass soon if I just ride it out like it did that time during my taper. This is not worse than what happened to me during my taper in spring 2020. If anything this is milder so far. But it is still severe and really kicking my ass. It feels like I have a never ending flu, burning skin, low appetite, diarrhea, muscle weakness, mild DP/DR, chest tightness and pain with bradycardia(had a cardiac workup which is all clear). I just feel miserable. I get waves of anxiety and even have mild akathisia. I get small windows in the morning the last few days which end a few hours after waking. I just don't know. During my taper I had the fever for 41 days and then it tapered off. So far I think I have it 25 or so days here. I am concerned that it won't pass. I can't have a fever for six months. It's just too much. I have been through much worse but I am just worn out. 

 

What to do? Ride it out or reinstate to some ridiculous dose like .03 or .05 mg and hold and then taper down to .01? I just don't know. I took it so low I really though it wouldn't get this bad but here I am. Hopefully someone can offer some advice. I am all ears.

 

If anyone actually read all this then thank you so much. I you did not then I get that too, lol. Thanks.

[Jack37]

Did I post this is the right place?

[brassmonkey]

Hi Jack-- Welcome to SA. Yes you posted in the right place. "New members" first two posts require moderator approval to be seen. This is so no one falls through the cracks and doesn't get seen. That's quite a post you made, but has a lot of good detail.

 

I have only skimmed your post, but a couple of things stick out. Even though you microtapered, as you put it you pushed it. So in the end the taper was too fast which would account for the symptoms that you are currently feeling. Also your jump off point was a little high, but still in the workable range. No real damage done, but it is going to take a while longer for your body to sort itself out and calm down.

 

All of the symptoms you describe are very common for tapering this medication. Uncomfortable, but common. The slightly elevated temperature while moving around is not dangerous. Most peoples temperature raises just a bit when moving especially if they are quite "fit". Tapering these drugs us know to raise body temperature and cause a "burning skin feeling" as well as raise BP, heart rate and cause palpitations. They all clear up with time.

 

From what you describe your symptoms are manageable, but rather uncomfortable. We generally don't recommend a reinstatement unless a persons symptoms are to the point of being debilitating, can't get out of bed, wash or feed oneself. So I would not recommend it.

 

I have to run, but wanted to get the ball rolling for you, so I'm approving both of your posts. Your are now free to move around the site and post anywhere. This will be your home base for asking questions, keeping records and making friends.

[Jack37]

Thanks Brassmonkey.

I have been out sick from work for a month now. I still have another month of sick time left and they are very understanding about the whole thing. I am unable to work but I would not say I am debilitated. I spend very little actual time laying in bed during the day. Sometimes I actually feel worse when I do. The last few days I actually seem to be making progress here. During my taper I once felt just like this and it last a couple months. This is actually less severe than that was but I’m definitely tired of it. I have really only been suffering for a few weeks. I am getting three meals a day. I am getting out of the house for walks. I even run a few errands most days. It feels mostly like a bad flu. I have always been a wuss with fevers though. I’m a real baby with them, lol. I shower everyday and am taking care of myself fine. I have only had a handful of panic attacks in the last 2 months since jumping. I CTd Xanax and was debilitated to near death. This is certainly not that. Some people somewhere else were telling me to reinstate a low dose and try again. My nervous system has been through the ringer though and am afraid of kindling like I did on the benzos. I don’t think I am sick enough to risk that. I am just scared that I won’t get better and that I will just get worse and worse. The last few days have calmed that fear a little bit because I am starting to have windows. Hopefully I’ll be through this stage soon.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, @Jack37

 

What are your most prominent symptoms? Which symptoms have caused you to take sick leave?

 

To help us out, follow these instructions Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this. Also, please post in shorter paragraphs, long paragraphs are difficult to follow on the Web.

[Jack37]

Hi Altostrata,

Low grade fever and fatigue are the main reasons I am not working currently. Today I could have worked. It is the first day in weeks that I felt strong enough and the fever was only present for a couple hours after lunch. The first week I called out I could have worked worked through also but I did not realize it would go on this long so I just took the week off to give myself a break as I worked through the whole 2 year taper except for 4 weeks in the middle when these same symptoms happened from tapering too fast at around 5.1 mg. My temperature does not go above 99.5 really but because of the skin burning it feels like 103. Like clockwork the fever goes away every night between 8 and 9 pm and starts up the next day around 1 pm. 

[Altostrata]

Are you taking any other drugs now, even over-the-counter drugs?

 

How's your sleep? How often do you drink alcohol? Smoke?

 

It sounds like you have a long history of going on and off psychiatric drugs and adverse effects, including a taper off mirtazapine that was sometimes rocky. We have seen this tends to make people hypersensitive to many things, particularly other drugs and alcohol. What else happened in July, about the time you went off mirtazapine completely?

[Jack37]

I have not had a drop of alcohol since I hit Xanax tolerance over 3 years ago. I take Nexium and have been on it for a long time. I am taking 5 mg melatonin every night for sleep. I had to start that when my taper hit 3 mg. I used to take melatonin frequently before this whole thing and have considered it my sleep returning to my lousy normal. With all of the benzo issues over the years sleep has been an issue before mirtazapine. With the melatonin I sleep 7-8 hours a night with the occasional 3-4 hour night. 

[Jack37]

When I went off mirt completely I was fine for the first 3 weeks with minor symptoms. I even slept a couple of nights without melatonin. No significant life events or unique stressors around that time. Right before I jumped my only real issue was a slightly elevated heart rate. In hindsight I wish I had waited for that to settle down before I jumped. My heart rate is actually slow now and not fast. My current resting heart rate is between 50-60.

[Toast]

Hi @Jack37, I just wanted to welcome you and say that I read your story and my heart goes out to you. It sounds like you have been through complete Hell, and especially with the extremely traumatic death of your daughter, I can't even imagine. 

 

I can also relate when you mention in your intro post about how when you finally realized the drugs were the problem, it was too late as you were already in a psych ward. I had kind of a similar experience when I was first trying to figure out what was wrong with me, and when I finally figured it out (drug withdrawal...) I had dug myself into a bit of a hole too. And of course the doctors did not listen. 

 

You've made it this far and I'm sure you will be able to make it through and heal. You are in good hands here and I will be rooting for you! 

[Jack37]

Thanks Toast.

When I first made my introduction post a few days ago I was sick as a dog and had been for weeks. I was ready to reinstate. Thankfully the next morning things got a little better and day by day things are cooling down. Two days ago my symptoms were a 1/10, yesterday 4/10, today 3 out of 10.   It seems like the acute phase of this jump is closing out. I don’t know how bad waves will get. Hopefully not bad at all. Maybe there won’t be any. Who knows? I am sure at the very least I am looking at 6 months of recovery here but I am mainly happy as long as I can remain functinal. I am so far glad that I did not reinstate. I have been having some great windows. 
 

Thanks for taking the time to read through all that. I know it’s a long story, lol. I just felt so lousy at the time I did not feel like answering questions so I just sat down and wrote everything in one shot. Again thanks.

[Toast]

That is awesome to hear that things have been better.  Crossing my fingers that the windows will continue. Keep us posted on how you're doing. 

[Santino]

Hi Jack

I red your initial post and i really feel sorry about the loss of your daughter. May God be with her in paradise and your family during this ordeal my friend.

I am a remeron and benzo taperer my self so i wanted to put in my two cents of information. from reading your details the fact that you went off three times off the benzos (one of them CT) and the very slow of taper of Remeron up to .03mg the first thing that come to my mind is that your current symptoms might not even be related to Remeron. They might be related with benzo PROTRACTED withdrawal. It hapens in 10-15% of the people who have tapered benzos and it can happen even 5-10 years after you have tapered. You can check some info on the Protracted Benzo Withdrawal in the below link. The good thing is that they come in sort of waves and then they go away just as it is happening to you currently. You can also find info on the protracted WD of benzos even on benzobuddies.org, which was a group i was part of while tapering the benzos.

 

 

https://www.benzoinfo.com/protracted-withdrawal-syndrome/

Same like the advice given to you by our friend @brassmonkey i would not advice a restart of Remeron. You just wait it out and things will settle by themselves. Anyway bear in mind that benzo act on the gaba receptors and so does the alcohol. What is your relation with alcohol currently??? I have noticed in my case that whenever i have some drinks on weekends i have a nightmare on that day near by the morning hours and than i would have 2-3 days of depression and rumination which would scare me a lot. Now i know that alcohol simulates some kind of problems within me so i am avoiding it at all costs. Please check that out and let me know... Cafeine, Sugar, A lot of Carbs at the time of waves will not help either. 

Hope i have been helpful. If you want reassurance for your situation you can go through my topic and my success story bro. You will be good. I really admire your force to keep your head up and fight your fight the way you have done for all this time. Hats off to you my friend. 

All the best

Santino

[Jack37]

Hi Santino,

 

I appreciate the help. I am a member over there at BB and have been very active there the past few years. I do not drink at all anymore and try to be very careful with my gaba receptors. I did start taking Gaviscon again at the end of my Remeron taper for reflux and am wondering if the magnesium could have set me back in benzo withdrawal. This does very much feel like a severe benzo wave. I would hope not at 34 months out but am fully aware that it might be. I wish I would have waited longer to taper but was doing well on Remeron and it seemed like my benzo stuff was mostly settled. Then I did a slow 2 year taper. I should have went slower at the end. Yesterday I idiotically took a 10000 iu vitamin d and the roof came off like I was in acute Xanax withdrawal. It’s settling a little now but I am still in rough shape. I am running out of steam. This has been a long road. I am still too sick to work. I do have days where I could but it’s been a few days since I felt better and today and yesterday is the worst I felt this whole time. I really need a break from this. The akathisia is killing me. I am burning too many calories and not eating enough due to nausea and lack of appetite and my legs are so tired. I just want to sit down and relax but can’t.

[HLH44]

Hi Jack

 

This is my first comment on this site, but I felt compelled to reach out. I have been tapering Remeron for 3 years. The first time I tapered, I jumped at .04. I was fine-ish for 3 months...then had a very stressful day and completely crashed. I know now I developed akathisia. It scared me so bad, I reinstated at 3.75.  I somewhat stabilized after a couple of months, then started taper over. I have been cutting 5% per month along with Lexapro (started at 20, now down to 4.5) I have been up and down (very very down) but still functional...still working and driving and living. Just not as social. This last month I had some really great days which surprised me because i am at 1.6 mg of Remeron and just figured it would stay bad for a bit. But suddenly have developed akathisia again. Absolutely maddening and terrifying. Can barely function. I work from home but this week I can only pace or sit and stare at my screen all day. I fake it around my high school aged son enough. Hes here at night and I am much more functional at night. I have come so close to driving myself to hospital...and that says a lot. I've been in this game 23 years and never gone b/c I feel its a death sentence. I don't know how long I can take this. Im on day 6 of the aka. I pray it lifts and I go back to my normal terrible soon. I just cannot reinstate again. I would rather be put in a straight jacket to stop it. I know I have to weather this to get out on the other side. SO I understand what you are feeling...but im here to say, if you don't have aka or SI, I have faith you can make it through this!!!

[Altostrata]

On 9/23/2021 at 8:33 PM, Jack37 said:

When I went off mirt completely I was fine for the first 3 weeks with minor symptoms. I even slept a couple of nights without melatonin. No significant life events or unique stressors around that time. Right before I jumped my only real issue was a slightly elevated heart rate. In hindsight I wish I had waited for that to settle down before I jumped. My heart rate is actually slow now and not fast. My current resting heart rate is between 50-60.

 

This makes sense because it takes mirtazapine, with its long half-life, several weeks to be completely metabolized.

 

Since you've started to feel better, you may recover without further fiddling with drugs.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Please let us know how you're doing.

 

We still need this: Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

[Jack37]

1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

 

This makes sense because it takes mirtazapine, with its long half-life, several weeks to be completely metabolized.

 

Since you've started to feel better, you may recover without further fiddling with drugs.

 

Many people find fish oil and magnesium supplements helpful, see

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

 

https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. Please let us know how you're doing.

 

We still need this: Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature You may need to use a computer to do this.

I screwed up yesterday. Forgetting that I have had trouble with d supplements in the past I thought it was a good idea to take a 10,000 iu vitamin d and 20 minutes later the roof came off. I am completely bedridden and in rough shape now. I have akathisia but am too weak to pace anymore so I just have to lay down burning and uncomfortable to the extreme. I can’t believe I did this to myself. I don’t know what to do now. I am still thinking about maybe reinstating at .2 mg or something but am trying now to. I know it might now help. I am so mad at myself about rh vitamin d. I feel like I set myself back as far as possible. Last time I was this sick was Xanax tolerance and I checked myself into the hospital but I l know better than to do that this time around. I am so scared and in such hell. 

[Altostrata]

You'll have to let your system settle down from the vitamin D mishap. Hang in there.

[Jack37]

How long will this go on for? I’m so desperate I keep making stupid mistakes. I took that vitamin d. Then yesterday out of desperation I took 5 mg of Zyrtec hoping for relief from this acid burning skin feeling. It did not work and now I feel heavy on top

of everything else. Then at 3 today I took two extra strength tylenol. That may have helped slightly but I think I just keep setting myself back. I am so desperate. I am eating about 100 calories a day now and pacing non stop and I slept zero hours last night even with my Melatonin because the burning was so intense. I have zero appetite. The burning is in my throat and nose and lips and face and chest, stomach, arms. It feels like I am being poisoned. I was getting windows from it but now it seems to be becoming non stop. I don’t feel strong enough to do this but I am afraid to reinstate. I even considered checking myself into psych but I know they can’t help me and at best case they’ll put me back on a full 15 mg dose of Remeron. That could be catastrophic. I am so scared. I need to tough this out for my family but I have no strength left. Please help me. What do I do?

[Altostrata]

Don't beat yourself up. It will take some days for your nervous system to settle down from a mishap.

 

Eat as much as you can, of whatever will go down.

 

Do you have any mirtazapine left? You might reinstate 0.25mg. This explains how to make a liquid from mirtazapine tablets so you can take a small amount. Tips for tapering off mirtazapine (Remeron)

 

As requested Please summarize your drug and withdrawal history in your signature  We're serious about this.

[Jack37]

Altostrata,

                 I don't have any Remeron pills left. The only Remeron I have left is an unused compound from May. But that is five months old and I don't know if that compound is even still stable. The pharmacy always urged to throw it out after 30 days and used to replace it for me every two weeks for this reason. The 5 mg of Zyrtec actually helped with some stuff. I slept 13 hours last night and the burning skin subsided for a while. I really don't want to take that again. I do feel a little weird on it like groggy. I would ratjer reinstate the Remeron. I don't know if Remeron has any antihistamine effect at .25 mg but I suspect that it probably does. I am considering taking the old compound. I have been trying to reach my doctor all morning and can't. This sucks. I still have a fever. I have had a fever for over a month now, it's brutal. I was checked for infection and everything is normal. No signs of infection were found. 

[Memphisto]

On 23.9.2021 at 20:29, brassmonkey said:

Auch dein Absprungpunkt war etwas hoch, aber noch im praktikablen Bereich.

 @MessingaffeWas the jump point really too high at 0.03 mg? I ask because I am tapering Excitalopram myself and was asking when and where to jump off.  

 

@Jack37 I read your introduction and wanted to say hello. I am also new here. I am so sorry for what happened to you and the hell you went through. I am a father of a daughter myself and I had tears in my eyes when I read your lines. I wish you get better very soon. We must never lose hope. 

[Jack37]

29 minutes ago, Memphisto said:

 @MessingaffeWas the jump point really too high at 0.03 mg? I ask because I am tapering Excitalopram myself and was asking when and where to jump off.  

 

@Jack37 I read your introduction and wanted to say hello. I am also new here. I am so sorry for what happened to you and the hell you went through. I am a father of a daughter myself and I had tears in my eyes when I read your lines. I wish you get better very soon. We must never lose hope. 

Thanks Mempisto,

I got a new script from the doc today. I am going to reinstate Remeron at .25 mg tonight and pray that I can get some relief and stabilize on it for a while. I tapered to .03 but I was only

on .03 for 5 days then jumped. 30 days before the end of my taper I was on .25 mg and was not completely stable. I should have waited for stability and dragged ass at the end. It was a big mistake that I am praying I will get a second chance at.

[Tyler84]

Hello jack . I’m in the same situation as you . But i jumped off way earlier . I’m off now for 14 weeks and it’s living hell . Please let me know how your reinstatement goes . I ded think that’s what i need to do . Good luck 

[Jack37]

@Altostrata

 

The burning skin got so bad last night. I was scared to reinstate but at 3 am I went for it. I took .25 mg. For the first hour I felt weird with like a heavy feeling and I had a couple of heart palpitations a few minutes after taking it. Nothing severe that I felt but it was uncomfortable. After about an hour the burning skin finally stopped. My tongue stopped burning and my stomach and arms. I slept a few hours and now I am awake but groggy as hell like I took benadryl. I think that is normal as it was only five hours ago that I took Remeron and I usually would sleep through that part. I think the night would have been better had I just taken it at 10 pm like I originally planned. Anyway does it sound like my body tolerated the dose well. I am scared of kindling of course. Should I take it again tonight and see how I do?

[Jack37]

Please help. I am so scared. I took the .25 last night and got relief for a few hours. About 7 hours later my symptoms came back and are worse than ever. This is unbearable. I can’t eat a bite and everything is on fire. I literally an praying to die. What is going on? Did I kindle? Is this normal. I got relief so why am I getting worse? Do I take another dose tonight? I am so confused. Please help me.

[HLH44]

Hi...I haven't made my first post yet b/c Im also in the middle of an episode of Aka from tapering Remeron....Admin: pls make an exception. I promise I will make my intro paragraph as soon as my brain clears just a little more.

 

Jack: Im in the same boat. I was down to 1.6 of Remeron and doing well....suddenly woke up to the wonderful world of Akathasia and was suddenly in the Upside Down. Sunday and Monday were the worst days of my life. For the last 3 days, I have updosed to 2. 0.  I finally got some relief yesterday from about 3-10.  Woke up at 4 am....the serious anxiety set in...I got delirious with pain again, neuro symptoms, overwhelm, pacing and terror all morning.  Now its 11 am and its starting to settle some. I think if you had some relief before you will get it again. Remember the mornings are the worst. WE have to tell ourselves this over and over.  You are not alone!!!! Im going through the exact same thing! And I still have to taper 4mg of Lexapro too....I know this sounds trite, but at least you only have this small bit to retaper...and then on to full healing...we just have to hold on through this. DISTRACT....challenge me to online Scrabble...its about the only thing I can do right now ❤️

 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @Jack37 That sounds like a successful test of reinstatement. The burning sensation sounds like a rebound symptom.

 

You might take 0.25mg earlier and a few hours later, take another 0.25mg. This will gradually raise the level of the drug in your bloodstream. After that, I might take 0.50mg every night at the same time. You might want to gradually increase it to a few milligrams by 0.25mg every week or so. Please let us know how you're doing.

[Jack37]

@HLH44

Thank you. This has been a terrible day. I have been so scared. The akathisia is the worst. I have had it this whole time. Whenever the skin is burning I have the aka. 15 minutes ago I FINALLY hit a window out of nowhere. The aka and burning stopped. I am laying on the couch and just ate a sandwich and my stomach feels okay. I am so happy to be sitting down. My legs and feet hurt so badly. Thank you so much for your support.

[Memphisto]

Hello Jack,

that sounds pretty bad what you are going through. I hope so much for you that the reinstatement brings you relief and you can stabilize yourself in the long run. I am praying for you. 🙏 

That it gets a little better in the evening should be a good sign.

 

[Jack37]

13 hours ago, Tyler84 said:

Hello jack . I’m in the same situation as you . But i jumped off way earlier . I’m off now for 14 weeks and it’s living hell . Please let me know how your reinstatement goes . I ded think that’s what i need to do . Good luck 

Sorry man. I missed your post in the shuffle. I reinstated last night and had some weirdness but had about 7 hours of relief and then the symptoms got more intense today for the first half of the day and it was completely unbearable but then it calmed down to miserable but bearable for the rest of day. I am going to follow Alto’s advice and take a second dose a few hours after my first dose to increase to .5 mg and then do that .5 mg every night for a week and see where I am at. I will  keep updating how it’s going here.

[Tyler84]

1 hour ago, Jack37 said:

Sorry man. I missed your post in the shuffle. I reinstated last night and had some weirdness but had about 7 hours of relief and then the symptoms got more intense today for the first half of the day and it was completely unbearable but then it calmed down to miserable but bearable for the rest of day. I am going to follow Alto’s advice and take a second dose a few hours after my first dose to increase to .5 mg and then do that .5 mg every night for a week and see where I am at. I will  keep updating how it’s going here.

Good luck man so sorry Youre going through this 

[Jack37]

@Altostrata

Last night went very smoothly. I took the first dose of .25 mg and had none of the slight discomfort I had the first night. No palitations or heaviness or anything. The burning subsided and my stomach started rumbling and I got  an intense appetite and ate about 1000 calories in one sitting. To put that in perspective I have not eaten that much is an entire day in almost 2 weeks. Then 2 hours later I took the second .25 dose which went equally as smooth and then slept 8 full hours without taking melatonin. To put that into perspective I have only slept without melatonin about three nights in the past year. Because I ate so much and eating is a big trigger symptom I did have some breakthrough symptoms laying down to sleep but mild and never got intense. I slept through the night. I feel the symptoms trying to break through this morning but they are still mild. I am ready for intense symptoms as some point today knowing I will get relief tonight. It gives me a lot

of hope. I an still running a low grade fever 24/7. I would like to keep increasing until that symptom goes away but will do so on the schedule you provided of .25 mg per week. I feel hopeful today. I was so afraid of kindling but I feel things are going smoothly. I am sitting down calmly playing guitar this morning. I usually have severe akathisia at this point in the morning so it is a nice change of pace.

[Altostrata]

Good to hear it went well.

 

I'd leave well enough alone, @Jack37, stay at 0.50mg taken all in one dose for a while. Let your other symptoms gradually go away. 

 

Don't overshoot, that could go wrong, because your nervous system might be very sensitive from withdrawal.

 

Please let us know how you're doing.

[Tyler84]

On 10/5/2021 at 6:47 PM, Jack37 said:

Sorry man. I missed your post in the shuffle. I reinstated last night and had some weirdness but had about 7 hours of relief and then the symptoms got more intense today for the first half of the day and it was completely unbearable but then it calmed down to miserable but bearable for the rest of day. I am going to follow Alto’s advice and take a second dose a few hours after my first dose to increase to .5 mg and then do that .5 mg every night for a week and see where I am at. I will  keep updating how it’s going here.

Totally cool . Please update me . I hope all goes well .
 

I plan on reinstating Friday to a very small dose .   as this vertigo and suicidal ideation is too much 

[Tyler84]

Hello Jack . How was it for you last night ? Feeling any better today ? Or worse ?