Bruci Posted September 29, 2021 Share Posted September 29, 2021 As I go through this hell, I often wish I had a retreat to go to, a place in nature where I could undergo my healing process with others who are also coming off meds. Is there such a place anywhere? 3 1980s: First diagnosed with depression. Treated with a tricyclic. 1988: Switched to Prozac 20 mg. 1990s to 2010: On and off Prozac. Increased dose led to side effects. 2011: Put on Zyprexa. 2011: Work burnout and breakdown. Hospitalized for suicidal depression. Switched to Seroquel. Switched to Celexa 40 mg and lithium 300 mg. 2019: Stopped Seroquel. 2020 July: Decreased Celexa to 30 mg in attempt to alleviate sexual dysfunction. Worked somewhat. 2020 August: Decreased Celexa to 20 mg. Sexual function improved but w/d effects started. 2020 September: Maintaining Celexa at 20 mg. Experiencing w/d effects - fatigue, dysphoria, mood instability 2020 September 13: Increased Celexa to 30 mg due to w/d effects. Still on lithium 300 mg/day. 2020 October 3: Reduced Celexa to 27 mg. Started taper. 10% per month as recommended. 2020 October 18: Reduced to 24 mg. 2020 December 4: Reduced to 21 mg. 2020 December 23: Reduced to 20 mg (spacing out taper intervals due to persistent w/d effects) 2021 September 23: Several reductions over the past 9 months to 7.0 mg. Stressful life circumstances led me to feeling very depressed with suicidal feelings, so upped to the dose to 10 mg until I feel better. Link to comment
HugHK Posted October 6, 2021 Share Posted October 6, 2021 On 9/29/2021 at 9:37 PM, Bruci said: As I go through this hell, I often wish I had a retreat to go to, a place in nature where I could undergo my healing process with others who are also coming off meds. Is there such a place anywhere? Hey Where I live in HK, there is a great walk in the jungle with scenic views at the top around the peak. This isn't available to everyone though, I guess it depends on what parks you have near to you. I also find that a place can be a mental space: in spending time doing something you really like. I am passionate about climate change, weather forecasting, History, and I also really like to read. Currently I'm in a wave. It sucks. But I know that every day I have a walk in the forest with beautiful views to look forward to, and I am currently in the middle of a 13 hundred page book that is really captivating. I am also writing something about the battle of Stalingrad and how the weather influenced battle conditions. I wrote something similar for the winter of 1941/42 on the Russian front. I enjoy these things so much that I am able to temporarily forget how bad I feel when I do these things. These things also give me a sense of achievement. I can't live a normal life, I've had to drop my favourite hobbies (sport, socialising) and have cut down socialising to sometimes nothing for a week or two (I live on my own and WFH), but moving forward with my personal projects is enough to keep some form of happiness. Some other ideas may include listening to music, watching a good film / TV series, playing video games: anything that that creates big endorphines rushes and sets your mind on something nice. Look forward to hearing what others have in mind! 1 Nov 2019: put on amitriptyline 100mg for insomnia. Worked great, sleep back to normal by March 2020 Jan 2020: Amitriptyline down to 50mg. Some withdrawal for two weeks. April-May 2020: tapered off amitriptyline a first time over 6 weeks. withdrawal. June 2020: reinstated amitriptyline 50mg a first time. Things improved progressively for 6 months. Backto normal in November December 2020: new attempt at tapering amitriptyline (from 50mg), slower this time February 2021: 30mg amitriptyline... withdrawal starts March 2021: reinstatement 35mg amitriptyline, then 50mg late march. April 2021: increased dosage to 75mg; Kindling started, HORRIFIC. July 2021: reinstatement clearly made things worse so I decide to taper slowly again, at 2.5mg per month March-April 2022: I hit 45mg amitriptyline dosage, withdrawal has drastically improved, symptom intensity down to 2 or 3 out of ten. Able to exercise, drink etc no issues. I pause the taper. I have stayed on 45mg of amitriptyline ever since. May 2022: New wave of withdrawal, lasts until January 2023 (nerve pain in my skull) May 2023: New wave, this time anxiety and pins and needles in my head, much like the kindling reaction in 2021. Not sure what caused it. Wave still ongoing. Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 6, 2021 Share Posted October 6, 2021 I think there are a few retreats now designed for people in withdrawal. I wish I could recall their names...If you look on the site Mad in America , regularly read there, every so often one will be mentioned. (Please note if you are not familiar with this site there can also be a lot of upsetting info on it, so if you are in a bad phase of withdrawal you might want to avoid it.) Also be careful if you want to visit one of them make sure you vet their withdrawal process as there is at least one place claiming to help people that is expensive where they seem to want to take people off pills too fast. If they don't follow the withdrawal protocols advised here, I would avoid them. If they say they get everyone off pills in a month, definitely avoid. It's also generally a good idea to find out too what they do if a crisis develops too. And be mindful if the place also takes in street drug users as some of those types of centers can treat people who are stuck tapering psych drugs like they are addicts. (More common I think if you are on benzos than other sorts of pills.) From what I have heard at least a number of years ago in North American rehab type set-ups like this they often had terrible tapering policies, or sometimes no tapering policies at all as in they would make people go cold turkey or nearly so. (I desperately hope they have improved since then, could be they have, I honestly don't know.) Another option if you can't find a dedicated space for withdrawal, depending on what symptoms you have is to just find a retreat of another sort and visit there. As long as you can bring your pills and cut them how you want then it might work too. Like you might find a spiritual retreat to visit, some have done that. Of course if you feel comfortable sharing with them about what's going on, it would be a good idea to thoroughly vet them to make sure that they would understand about withdrawal and how they might handle a crisis. I hope you are able to find somewhere relaxing that helps you! I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
UnfoldingSky Posted October 6, 2021 Share Posted October 6, 2021 10 hours ago, HugHK said: I am passionate about climate change, weather forecasting, History, and I also really like to read. Currently I'm in a wave. It sucks. But I know that every day I have a walk in the forest with beautiful views to look forward to, and I am currently in the middle of a 13 hundred page book that is really captivating. I am also writing something about the battle of Stalingrad and how the weather influenced battle conditions. I wrote something similar for the winter of 1941/42 on the Russian front. I enjoy these things so much that I am able to temporarily forget how bad I feel when I do these things. Your writing sounds really interesting, I am into history lately too. I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions. Link to comment
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