Mirtagirl: Multiple withdrawals from Oxazepam, currently tapering Mirtazapine

[Mirtagirl]

My story starts in 1999. After a difficult time I was prescriped Oxazepam to help with sleep. It worked like a charm, but I was aware of the risks and never used it daily. I was given benzo's sometime by my mother who - I realise now - has a severe addiction and probably has BPD and this has definitely played a role in my own story.

 

I kept using it on and off but very rare untill in 2012 I witnessed an accident that triggered me and I developed PTSD. I used it again more frequently, and my doctor switched me to Mirtazapine because the Oxazepam was not helping my sleep enough. I think this is where interdose withdrawal started to set in. I managed to become stable again and stopped taking the Mirtazapine. I have no recollection of tapering, but I also have no memory of withdrawal. 

 

In 2015 I suffered from work burn-out, sleep was bad again and I started using Oxazepam again. Interdose withdrawal and rebound insomnia started to occur and my doctor switched me to Mirtazapine again. But the Mirtazapine wasn't enough to let me sleep and I used Mirtazapine ánd Oxazepam at the same time and I still suffered, probably because of interdose dependency. This is where I found benzobuddies. I realised I had developed dependency and quit after a very fast taper of a week. 

 

I still was not educated enough on benzo's when in 2021 I had a work crisis again and started taking them again. I realise now that I've kindled myself. When I started getting worse pretty soon I was prescriped Mirtazapine again, this time 15 mg since I was 'depressed' (I didn't feel depressed at the time, just very anxious). I quit taking the benzo's cold turkey on 13th of April 2021 and have not taken them ever since.

 

The past months have been hell. Severe panic and anxiety, tension and then muscle pain. In retrospect tapering and splitting my dose or crossing over to Valium would have been better but I was not as educated on benzo's. I am now. I am sure benzo dependency developed over the years and my brain has been kindled. I'm very sensitive to everything and this needs time. I'm doing better now. I'm still unstable so I try to avoid triggers. I've also found other factors that have played a role in my crisis that I wasn't aware of like pre-diabetes, disfunctional breathing and I'm in perimenopause. Working on my childhood trauma as well and all the disfunctional patterns I developed (like codependency and perfectionism). Recently started reading about the nervous system and the Vagas nerve too and I am sure I can use that in my healing.

 

I started tapering the Mirtazapine two months ago. Got down to 12,8 mg but decided to hold recently because I was feeling very unstable. I was dizzy a lot and had tension. Had some depressed days, but not to bad and sleep did not suffer though.

 

I have a few questions about my taper. I'm not sure if I should ask them here or somewhere else:

 

• I'm using Mirtazapine Aurobindo 15 mg and I am tapering using the dry cutting method. I came across some information on this forum that the coating can give some sort of extended release effect, and of course the coating is broken during cutting. During my taper and also when I hold I sometimes get the idea I have some very slight interdose withdrawal. Would it be better to split my dose?
• Also a general question which is hard to answer, but any insight is appreciated. How do I know when to hold my taper or when to continue? I've found this very hard and struggle with it. It's winter here and very dark and I feel like it is affecting my taper.
• Also, should I wait untill I'm healed more to continue tapering?

 

Thanks for any advice.

[Kiasofia]

Welcome @Mirtagirl

I'm sorry you are struggling, but glad you have found us. Thank you for creating your signature. Can you add the month in 2021 you started taking Mirtazapine, and the month you started tapering and the date you reached 12.8mg. Also please change the size so it's the same as mine and without the grey on it.

 

Did you go straight from 15mg to 12.8mg? Does it say on the package that they are extended release?

 

Tips for tapering off mirtazapine (Remeron)

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Stabilising After a Reduction - What Does That Mean?

Withdrawal Normal Description

 

Mirtazapine has a fairly long half life so I don't think you need to split the dose. But to help see if you have inter dose withdrawal I suggest starting a symptoms journal. Make sure to take mirtazapine at the exact same time every day:

Keep daily notes of drug schedule and symptoms to track patterns and progress

 

I suggest holding your taper until your withdrawal symptoms from oxazepam have settled.

Keep it simple, slow and stable

 

This is your Introductory topic, where you can ask questions and connect with other members.  We're glad you found your way here. Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.

Edited January 25, 2022 by Kiasofia

[Mirtagirl]

Thanks for responding Kiasofia. I changed my signature and I will start a daily journal. Today and yesterday I did not have any symptoms but I will keep a log starting tomorrow. I taper 5% when I feel stable and then wait to be stable for a few days before I make my cut. When I cut I feel withdrawal mostly in the afternoon, but when I stabilize I don't have any symptoms in the late afternoon and evening. Since tapering I do feel less sedated, less tired and more clear and that is why I keep tapering as long as I feel stable enough. 

 

 

[Mirtagirl]

Just a quick update. I've been feeling good lately and have been tapering 2% every 9 days. I have been inspired by the brassmonkey slide method and this pace feels comfortable for me. I will keep this pace at least until I reach 7.5 mg. I will not be tempted to go faster. Slow and steady! I might hold around special moments when I feel I want to enjoy it more, like holidays or celebrations. If I keep this pace I will be on 3.5 mg around summer 2023 and that is something to look forward to!

[Faure]

Hi @Mirtagirl, glad the BrassMonkey slide is working for you. It is for me too. I’m also peri menopausal and getting pretty affected by fatigue which I have suffered from since being on mirtazepine, but it is much worse lately. I’m wondering about HRT, have you thought about it? I’m very scared to do anything to upset my taper though, but the fatigue is happening more often than it used to 🙁I’m also scared of a GP interfering with my taper. The one who approved it left. 

[Mirtagirl]

Hi Faure, you are pretty far along with your taper. Did you notice any improvements? I feel very tired and sedated every day, especially in the am. I hope this will improve as I progress.

 

About my perimenopause, I don't think I am ready to add anything while I taper. It's frustrating, but I think I can manage the symptoms for now.

[Faure]

Hello @Mirtagirl, sorry for the delay in replying, I didn’t see this till just now.  I notice improvements most of the time. Particularly in the last 2-3 weeks I am able to do much more than previously. Still not as much as pre mirtazepine but I’m grateful that things are better. I’m on 7.1 now and in 4 weeks will be at 6.5, I’m really hoping as I get much lower I’ll see further big improvements. I’m even hoping to try swimming again. Last time in November it wiped me out for a week and I didn’t even do that much! We have a long weekend in the uk coming up so I think I’ll go Friday and I’ll have 3 days to recover if necessary. I didn’t get anywhere near pushing myself last time 🙁

[Mirtazapine20mg]

Hi Faura and Mirtagirl,

 

How enlightening to read your posts. I am also tapering Mirtazapine and I also have a fatigue problem (but a man). I am not long in my taper, but the feeling of fatigue is one of reasons I try to get Mirt out of my life. When I have made three hours work it feels like I have worked for 10 hours. Can you recognize this feeling or is your fatigue manifesting itself in other ways? I'm tapering pretty much the same way as you: 5 % every three weeks (10% is to much for me, and I need three weeks to stabilize after a dose reduction. 

 

Soren

 

[Mirtagirl]

Hi Soren,

 

Yes, fatigue is common side effect and a reason I am tapering. Good luck with your taper!

[Faure]

@Mirtazapine20mg Yep, fatigue is like this. I have only been able to work very part time the last couple of years because of it. Fortunately now I’m starting to manage much more activity and even start thinking of / planning more work for the autumn.

[Mirtagirl]

The past month I managed to taper to 10 mg. I feel like the extreme sedation in the morning is way down. I'm very happy with that. My last cut was a 3% cut 19 days ago. I feel like I still haven't really stabilized, maybe because it was a slightly bigger cut than the cuts before that. They where around 2%. I can't believe how sensitive I've become to withdrawal. It's my third round on this drug and last time, I made 25%-50% cuts which was wayyy to fast but withdrawal was light and I managed to get over them soon. 

 

So I'm going to hang around for a while and see if I can stabilize on the 10 mg. Also, I am going to start my daily log as was requested. The reason I haven't kept a daily log before is because I thought I had to keep the really detailed one, turns out I just need to keep a simple list. I guess I was a little overwhelmed with all the info. I will use a written log and post here every few days. I'm out of the country next week, so I will post when I get back.

 

Tapering is really hard for me and I think it's because either I haven't really recovered fully from benzo withdrawal, or I am having interdose withdrawal. Also perimenopause might be getting in the way. It's a kind of withdrawal as well. The last thought is something that is discussed on the benzobuddies forum. As Mirtazapine is a strong antihistamine, some people have better results using DAO enzymes to support the breakdown of histamines. It does sound plausible. 

 

@Faure and @Mirtazapine20mg how are you 'guys' doing?