dangerous7: tapering amitriptyline after one week

[dangerous7]

3 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Some members find B vitamins activating.  You might find it better to take it in the morning which might help with your sleep.

 

I have asked the other staff for their assistance.  The site is very busy at this time with a lot of new members, so I don't know how long it will take for someone to respond.

Thanks, I will make that change. Looking forward to some guidance to get out of this mess

[Onmyway]

10 hours ago, dangerous7 said:

Thanks for responding 🙂

---

10 am Omega-3 supplement(sometimes)

11 am Nexito(5 mg)

Please write the generic names of the drugs - we shouldn't have to look up what escitalopram brands there are in India. 

10 hours ago, dangerous7 said:

9 pm Magnesium (400 or 600 mg alternate days)

         Melatonin(6 mg)

You're taking too much melatonin - a dose necessary to fall asleep is 0.3mg - this much can keep you groggy in the morning 

10 hours ago, dangerous7 said:

         Gaba(500 mg or 1000 mg sometimes)

Is GABA helping? Why are you taking this? How does it make you feel? 

 

10 hours ago, dangerous7 said:

         Calcium(500 mg sometimes)

         Levocetrizine(5 mg) and Montelukast(10 mg) for asthma

These are allergy medicines which can make you drowsy. Can you switch levocetrizine for a less drowsy alternative? 

 

10 hours ago, dangerous7 said:

         B-complex tablet(sometimes)

see ChessieCat's comment. Unless you have a documented deficiency, B-vitamins can be activating. If your symptoms include agitation, I would avoid this. If decide to take some, take a low dose. You should try to get your vitamins from food in general. 

 

10 hours ago, dangerous7 said:

         

Currently on Augmentin(625 mg) for past 2 days(due to cold which lasted for a long time)

         

Between 3-5am Clonazepam(0.25 mg) 

to finish my sleep, I get 2-3 hours without it 

 

 

Have a look at your drug interactions here - 

https://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=1013-0,189-84,1654-0,1455-0,703-0

[Altostrata]

18 hours ago, dangerous7 said:

Currently on Augmentin(625 mg) for past 2 days(due to cold which lasted for a long time)

 

Please let us know when you finish taking this antibiotic, it may be causing some of your symptoms. We cannot assess your symptom pattern while you are taking it.

[dangerous7]

> Please write the generic names of the drugs - we shouldn't have to look up what escitalopram brands there are in India. 
OK. Will keep in mind from next time.

 

> You're taking too much melatonin - a dose necessary to fall asleep is 0.3mg - this much can keep you groggy in the morning 
Got it. Will try to obtain a lower dose tablet/liquid. I currently have 3mg tablets.

 

> Is GABA helping? Why are you taking this? How does it make you feel? 
I only took it for 2-3 days before I stopped it. It did seem to make me a bit relaxed during my first sleep.

 

> These are allergy medicines which can make you drowsy. Can you switch levocetrizine for a less drowsy alternative? 
Yes, I can switch to a less drowsy alternative.

> see ChessieCat's comment. Unless you have a documented deficiency, B-vitamins can be activating. If your symptoms include agitation, I would avoid this. If decide to take some, take a low dose. You should try to get your vitamins from food in general. 
Got it. Is it ok to take them after breakfast?

 

> Have a look at your drug interactions here - 
> https://www.drugs.com/interactions-check.php?drug_list=1013-0,189-84,1654-0,1455-0,703-0
Thanks.

[dangerous7]

I am on Escitalopram for about a month now. Can I do a faster than 10% taper since I haven't taken it for long? If I do the recommended 10% taper every month, it will take over an year and I would like to avoid taking it for so long. After about 2-3 weeks on Escitalopram, I had developed sporadic muscle twitches/jerks. So, the psych asked me to start taking 5mg but the sporadic muscle twitches/jerks haven't stopped. If I continue to taper slow over an year, will the jerks eventually go away?
 

[dangerous7]

Also, I am really worried about when I would get to start Clonazepam taper, I can already feel that it isn't giving me as much sleep as it used to 😞

Feel like a zombie all day, Not able to feel happy at all , trying hard to do meditation, go for walks, everything feels as hard as climbing a mountain.

Feel so dejected at having made so many wrong decisions, keep on wanting to undo them, even though I know I have to live in present.

[Altostrata]

Are you still taking Augmentin?

 

You could probably cut to 2.5mg escitalopram, but if you do this while you're taking Augmentin, any withdrawal symptoms might be confused with adverse effects from the antibiotic.

 

Up to you if you want to risk this. Unraveling simultaneous drug changes is beyond the ability of peer support, so we can't help you with any adverse results.

[dangerous7]

Thanks @Altostrata.

 

It's been a few days since I stopped taking Augmentin. Now, I am taking Aceclofenac + Paracetamol + muscle relaxant for sciatica pain on and off.

 

I have tapered escitalopram to 4.5gm using a salt solution for about 5 days now to keep the tapering slow.

 

(I have also stopped taking levocetrizine and replaced it with Bilastine, which is non-sedating and also taking melatonin 1.5mg instead of 6mg)

 

Today, I have been feeling skin allergy over random parts of my skin - this seems to be a new symptom. I am thinking of stopping Aceclofenac + Paracetamol + muscle relaxant from today and see how the allergy responds.

 

Random muscle twitching/ anxiety/ uncontrollable continuous thoughts/feeling panicky/ feeling aimless/ difficulty concentrating/ mental slowdown/... are still present.

 

Am I going in the right direction? I am still taking Clonazepam 0.25mg every night around 2:30am to 4am (whenever I wake up).

 

 

[dangerous7]

Hello,

 

Sunday(4th September) evening I think I had a short window(two hours), I have pending tax filing which has only scared me for past few months but I was not able to do anything about it. On Sunday, I actually opened my accounts and made a list of things to do. Monday, I tapered to 4.25mg escitalopram after taking 4.5 mg for 10 days(decrease by about 5%, I did not want to reduce by 10% since Monday morning I was feeling a bit more anxious). Rest of Monday was not good at all, my wife counseled me for about an hour after my escitalopram dose at 11am) and I felt better after. But after she left the room, I went back to thinking in a loop. 

 

I am continuing with 0.25mg clonazepam in the night after first wakeup(been on it consistently for about 3 months). Today(Tuesday) I took it at 5am(since I slept one hour later in night around 11pm and did not want to eat Clonazepam in middle of sleep but woke up and ate it, worried that I might get WD from missing or delaying it further). I am feeling much worse anxiety today. Been in bed almost all day, not able to focus on office tasks at all, back to thinking about quitting my job(since it feels impossible that I can complete any of my tasks). Is it possible for a escitalopram small taper to cause increase in anxiety so rapidly? Or could it be because I was delayed by an hour in my clonazepam dose today morning and that has caused immediate WD symptoms? 

 

Current symptoms

- anxiety, memory issues, cognitive decline, suicidal thoughts,

feeling that I am going mad since I can't stop thinking and I really really want to, it's tiring,

thinking about office and personal tasks all day

 

Thanks for being there , SA is currently my lifeline...

 

[dangerous7]

I forgot to mention that I am taking NSAID(Acelofenac + Paracetamol + muscle relaxant) for sciatica pain for past four days(That somehow caused me to sleep better on Monday night, due to which I didn't wake up on my own and had clonazepam later than my usual time)

[Altostrata]

You've had so many drug changes in the last month, including irregular dosing of clonazepam, your symptom pattern cannot be interpreted. You will need to take your drugs on the same schedule every day for a week before we can identify your baseline symptom pattern. 

[dangerous7]

I seem to have developed a partial loss of taste. Drinking chai feels like drinking hot water. I can still taste salt and sugar. Can this be caused by Escitalopram which I have been taking for 6 weeks and Clonazepam for 3 months. I also have a cold [again :-(] for the last 4 days. According to https://www.drugs.com/sfx/escitalopram-side-effects.html, 

 

Common (1% to 10%): Pharyngitis, rhinitis, sinusitis, upper respiratory tract infection,

 

I wonder if Escitalopram is causing my 2nd cold again in last 2-3 weeks?

[Altostrata]

16 hours ago, dangerous7 said:

I also have a cold [again :-(] for the last 4 days.

 

Unlikely this is caused by escitalopram. More likely a virus.

[dangerous7]

I have gradually developed a fear of strangers and automatically look at them to check if they are smiling/laughing at me (not in a good way; almost in a mocking way). I feel that I am going mad :-(. My father has a long history of psychosis/paranoia/schizophrenia. We live in a gated society. There are some security guards at the entry who checkin the visitors and I feel that they seem to laugh at me whenever I walk by there/drive through there. When I pass through there to go for a walk outside the society, I am becoming fearful of them. As I walk on the street, I am looking at people through my peripheral vision to see their response on seeming my face. I am becoming fearful of stepping out of the house since I am thinking that others are watching me(a psychiatric/mental patient) walking on the street. I have had uncontrolled anxiety for about 4-5 months now. Has it broken my brain? My wife cried after many days and feels that I am developing psychosis like my father :-(. One therapist told me that uncontrolled anxiety will grow into panic and fear. My father has had multiple ECTs/various antipsychotics throughout his life.

[Altostrata]

Strongly recommend you see a psychotherapist to discuss these feelings.

[dangerous7]

Thanks for the suggestion, @Altostrata Doing psychotherapy sessions with the right therapist have helped me a lot. 

 

my last post was last year, when I was convinced that I had paranoia/paranoid schizophrenia. I was in middle of a relatively fast Escitalopram taper, since I had lot of side effects from that.  Also at that time, I was on just 0.25mg of clonazepam.

But a lot has happened in the meantime. Since Escitalopram(up to 10mg) gave me lot of side effects, anxiety remained the same and I had severe fear of developing psychosis, my slow taper of Escitalopram was derailed and I stopped at 4.5mg Escitalopram cold turkey in Sep 2022.

I was put on the following cocktail
- clonazepam(0.25mg) twice a day
- fluoxetine/prozac(10mg)
- Mirtazapine(7.5) in night

 

after two weeks, I reported continued anxiety, no improvement, restlessness and suicidal thoughts and fluoxetine was bumped to 20mg
and clonazepam to thrice a day. So end of sep 2022, I started with Fluoxetine 20 mg but continued with same dose of clonazepam(0.25, taken twice a day)

 

irrational fear of facing the security guards remained, also mention of certain words made gave me severe anxiety
(most of those words I had heard from my father while trying to help him deal with his disease some years back)
saw the psychiatrist again after two weeks(Oct 2022), was shouted at by him since I was doing "clinical interference" by not eating clonazepam thrice a day. By this time, my fearfulness had reached a peak and I followed the medication completely. Only thing I did not understand was why the heck was I not getting any better. Each time I met the doctor, I told him I am feeling worse than before

- clonazepam(0.5mg twice a day)

- fluoxetine(30mg)
- Mirtazapine(7.5mg)
- Olanzapine(1.25mg)

 

 

after about 3 weeks, end of Oct 2022, Fluoxetine was increased to 40 mg. All this time(about 45 days of fluoxetine 40mg), my feelings of anxiety became worse, turning
into full-blown panic on some days. Feeling of disconnectedness with family also went up with each passing day. Finally, in December 2022, after several events like
1. I ended up changing the brand of clonazepam that i'd been using since several months since former got over,
2. For 3 days, I had a mix of Ayurvedic powders which the Ayurveda doc told me was completely safe to be taken with psychiatric medications but my wife strongly feels made my condition so much worse,
I took my family to the mall on my marriage anniversary and had very serious and active SI, my psychotherapist got very concerned and sent me to a different psychiatrist(since she felt I was not on the right medicines) , she spoke very highly of this doc, and that lot of her patients got much better under his care.

 

(it could very well be that my body and mind just couldn't bear the prozac anymore and my hopelessness and despair peaked but I was scared and so was my wife so we quietly followed her advice)

 

Following changes were made to my drug regime under new doc
- Fluoxetine(40) replaced by Vortioxetine(10mg) and eventually Vortioxetine(20mg)
- clonazepam(0.25mg, 0.5mg, and 0.5mg, total of 1.25mg) replaced by Etizolam(0.5mg)
doc told me that clonazepam could be contributing to the depression and hence he was going to move me to Etinazol. I understand that it is not available in the US and it was almost impossible for me to find equivalent dose of Etizolam to replace my 1.25mg clonazepam
- Olanzapine(1.25mg) replaced by quetiapine(12.5mg)

only medicine that was not changed by this doctor was Mirtazapine(7.5mg) which I have continued taking at about 7:30pm each night.

 

So in a way I participated in super fast taper of
- Fluoxetine(40mg)
- Olanzapine(1.25mg)
- clonazepam(1.25mg)

 

taper was done for clonazepam over a period of 6 days
and taper of fluoxetine was supposed to be done over a period of 1 week, i did it in 2.
and no taper was done for Olanzapine(1.25mg)

my last clonazepam was on 18 December 2022, about 3 weeks back. and last fluoxetine(10mg) was about two weeks back.

 

I visited the doc again and got more Etizolam added since anxiety was unbearable. now on Etizolam(1.5mg Controlled release) and Etizolam(0.5mg)

 

my current symptoms are
- stuck thoughts
 - general anxiety, cant even pinpoint sometimes what I am anxious about
- severe depression which goes up in intensity as the day goes by
- sometimes it feels like staying heavily depressed is causing the anxiety.
- no desire to wake up in morning
- no motivation, somehow getting office work done in evening hours
- think I feel worse after Vortioxetine(is that possible? that an anti-depressant causes depression or maybe it is the new benzo)

 

I have learnt many coping techniques since the last time I gave in to urge to let medicines fix me in September.I do
- EFT(tapping),
- reiki
- regular sessions of psychotherapy(along with CBT to challenge my anxious thoughts).
- left nostril breathing
after being wfh for about 3 years, i have started going to a shared office space with my wife since past 5 days. Trying hard to
make friends to distract myself but when I am in that state of severe depression and anxiety, I can not focus on anything else.

 

I am at a point where I know these medicines are doing something very bad to me, I had no suicide thoughts at all before getting on Escitalopram and  I was hopeful of recovering from the anxiety. I am trying so hard to get the inner strength to stop these medicines but the anxiety and depression is something I have never dealt with before, it feels bigger than me. I have read on multiple posts on SA that
withdrawal anxiety is hard to deal with, worst part is I might already be undergoing it. My wife reads this forum everyday without fail and tries to convince me that there is hope for me, I can get better, surely even if slowly.

 

I want to take my current psychiatrist's help to taper but I am almost sure he would want to put me on other medicines. He has already suggested TMS in the last appointments since I was so disturbed and anxious while talking to him(my wife has read some bad things about it and is against it).

I am really hoping and praying that I can get some suggestions here, about how to deal with this, till I can begin a taper. Each and every day is so hard to pass, the only times I

feel comfortable is close to bed time after Mirtazapine when I know the day is done.

 

Sorry for the long post, trying to condense 4 months of misery into the above and desperately waiting to find some hope.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

I cannot follow your drug changes. Since you seem inclined to drug treatment and to switch and increase your drugs, that's beyond what we can help you with here.

 

Please talk to your doctor about any adverse effects of this treatment, he or she gets paid for this, we don't. What we do is help people reduce their drugs, not adjust their cocktails.

[dangerous7]

No, I do not want to be on drugs. They are making my condition worse day by day. I understand that but I don't know how to taper in my current condition(severely depressed).

I need help tapering. 

 

Sorry that I was stupid before. I have a lot of baggage due to a mentally unwell father. All this time, I have known that medicines are not right for me. In sep 2022, my regular psychiatrist asked me to start Placida which is similar to Deanxit(Flupenthixol (0.5mg) + Melitracen (10mg)) which was temporarily banned in India and is still not available in lot of other countries.  I did not want to start it for sure so I started consulting a psychiatrist in Delhi since I read his blog about how we should NOT have a medicine like Placida , with the hope that he would help me taper the ongoing prozac(since I was not doing well on it) but instead he diagnosed me with GAD and depression and even told me that I must have been depressed even when I was on Clomipramine/Tramadol for PE(I was fully functional that time and a happy person). 

 

I need to reduce the drugs, I just don't want to do it without guidance(since I have been burned badly when I CT the first two medicines in April 2022). I did not fare any better when I did it under the guidance of current psychiatrist. He kept on telling me it's safe to switch to Etizolam, Vortioxetine and Quetiapine(even though all my instincts screamed against it but I had active SI and I did not want to be admitted to a hospital). 

 

Please please help me. Should I hold out for some more time(since I have almost CT'd clonazepam and prozac) and then make any changes at a later date. Or do I dare to reduce Vortioxetine slowly, since my depression has surely gone way up since the anti-depressant is building up in my body.

 

 

[dangerous7]

I am currently taking the following medicines

 

8:30am Etizolam(1.5 Controlled release)

10am Vortioxetine(20mg)

3pm Etizolam(0.5mg) 

6pm Quetiapine(12.5mg)

7:30pm Miratazapine(7.5mg)

 

Please please help me.

[Altostrata]

You've had dozens of drug changes since 2021, many after May 24, 2022, when you were taking only a few and I advised you:

 

On 5/24/2022 at 8:06 AM, Altostrata said:

Hello, @dangerous7 I'm not sure what your goal is here. 

 

 

We would advise you to stop switching drugs and let your nervous system settle down. If you're looking for a silver bullet, we can't help you. We don't help people with drug switches to find a silver bullet. Please talk to a doctor, they make impossible promises like that.

 

Please let us know when you want to go off your drugs.

 

But you persisted in trying new drugs and now you show up here on an entirely different cocktail of 4 drugs, which you started only a month ago.

 

Sorry, your problems are beyond peer counseling. Talk to your doctor about reducing your drugs.

[dangerous7]

I am really sorry @Altostrata for being a complete idiot earlier. I am paying for it right now, every minute of every day. 
I was having a hard time in life when this happened last year, due to several stressful events in life, and having a mentally ill father living with me did not help. I moved countries to take care of my father, and I became crippled myself with anxiety.

 

I don't mean to overburden anyone with my life's sob stories. I do realize I am the one at fault and I can understand your frustration dealing with people like me.

 

I really need peer support and help from the moderators and participants on this group. Please help me, no doctor here would help me taper(or even acknowledge that my problem is the medicines). Please help me, I can not do this alone. I am begging you, please.

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

You went on 4 drugs less a month ago! What tapering help do you need?

[dangerous7]

I have been having severe depression with Vortioxetine(20mg) from about day 14 of this medicine, around 1st Jan 2023. I did not have this severe hopelessness feeling ever before. My last Fluoxetine 10mg dose was on 22 December 2022. So not sure if it's a WD from that. But definitely this intensity of depression is very new and unbearable.

 

My current medicines are

8:30am Etizolam(1.5 Controlled release)

10am Vortioxetine(20mg)

3pm Etizolam(0.5mg) 

6pm Quetiapine(12.5mg)

7:30pm Miratazapine(7.5mg)

 

Please please guide me which medicine I can start the taper with or do you suggest holding... I am not able to manage the depression, feel very disconnected with wife and children.  Every morning it's very bad. I feel slightly better with the morning Etizolam, since it relaxes me a bit..but no some bad days, even the effect of benzo feels lesser.

I was given Olanzapine 1.25mg earlier to help with anxiety and the new doctor replaced it with Quetiapine(12.5mg) in December 2022(I did have severe fear of developing psychosis/paranoid schizophrenia like my father till last month.). I am not sure what has made it lesser this month, was it the psychotherapy sessions/CBT or getting rid of Fluoxetine/Prozac.

 

I still have anxiety but depression is my biggest problem right now. The psychotherapist is helping me with CBT for anxiety. I meet her once or twice a week, and talking to her makes me feel little better. 

 

Fluoxetine definitely increased my suicide ideation and I kept on mentioning it to the doctor, and he kept on increasing my dose from 10 to 20 to 30 to 40mg, with a it-will-get-better response. I still have very very negative thoughts, I try my best to change the channel, breathe, work through it, but the depression feels bigger than me.

 

My wife writes down my routine everyday( I have stopped writing for the past 3-4 months), i am sharing one of those from yesterday

Jan 11

++++++

7 am wife made me get off the bed, since I was awake for the last one hour, I do not want to wake up or do anything

7:40am dropped kids to school

8:40am Etizolam(1.5mg) Controlled Release tablet <=============

9am tried to meditate and do tapping

10 am small snack + vortioxetine(20mg)

bath(after being reminded by wife)

11 am consultation with a Reiki specialist who is also a family friend and is aware of my situation in detail

felt better after talking to her, low energy though , lied down on bed after coming back home

1:30 pm attended a work meeting from home

2:30 pm hugged my daughter before leaving for an office with my wife(have rented one just to get out of the house and see more people)

 I did this without prompting, maybe a small window

3:00 pm Etizolam(0.5mg) <========

3:05 pm helped wife with carrying some bag while walking to office(she writes down these small things to remind me that I am still connected to my family and love them)

3:20pm message my kid that i am missing her (again without prompting)

4:00 pm trying to talk to person sitting next to me, just to get some connection, some conversation

5:30 pm eyes hurting(this happens a lot since after Vortioxetine). washed face and tried to work again

6:00 pm played Pink Flloyd audio while trying to work, trying to distract

told my wife no for quetiapine since it makes me sleepy, but had no choice since it was time to eat it

Quetiapine(12.5.mg) <========

7:00 pm went to Accupuncture appointment but it was canceled

Bought sweets for the neighbors. My in-laws helped us buy a new car, our old one was in a bad condition since past few months(i paid for it but they or my wife has to drive everything since I have no desire or motivation to do anything, I just about do office work for few hours a day and am at a risk of losing my job due to that)

7:30 pm Mirtazapine(7.5 mg) <==========

8:00 pm back home

9:00 pm had dinner with family, read some book about meditation

 

sleep has been decent with mirtazapine and quetiapine, I wake up between 5 to 6 am and then lie down in the bed thinking. I feel useless to the family since everyone else is telling me what to do(they have to since I don't feel like getting up) and that feeling makes me feel very bad. I drive the car everywhere I need to go but most of the times with my wife.  

 

I can not thank you enough for helping me. I am really hopeful that my life can also be saved, like many other people who got help from this group.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

If you felt that vortioxetine was making you depressed after 14 days, why didn't you quit it then?

 

If you apply common sense to your situation, what drug do you think you should quit?

[dangerous7]

There was some more changes in the same time frame

- clonazepam(total of 1.5mg per day) was stopped within 6 days

- fluoxetine(40mg) was tapered and made 0 within 10 days

- Olanzapine(1.25mg) was replaced by quetiapine(12.5mg)

 

I am not confident about taking this decision myself, hoping to get some help. I only feel that Vortioxetine is supposedly a mood stabilizer, maybe it is causing the increase in depression. I read that it has a half life of 66 hours. Quetiapine is a much lower dose than the usual recommended dose, so i am not sure how much that switch would impact...it does make me very drowsy in the evening within half an hour. And the mirtazapine taken 1.5 hours after that makes it hard to stay awake beyond 9 pm.

 

I am really unsure of anything and everything right now...the new psychiatrist that I saw last month(and met thrice till now and the one who told me to get TMS to fix my depression since medicines would be slow) is now telling my wife(on chat, since we could not get his appointment till next week) to admit me to a hospital, when she asked him if Vortioxetine can have a paradoxical reaction of making  the depression worse. 

[Doctorsrcrap]

Hi. I'm not a mod so can't give advice but whst i can tell you is you have got to start being consistant with the drugs. Take it from someone who knows continuing to switch to find the one that works does not help. I tried that and ended up with other problems. 

Which drug is the most activating? I would have thought that would be the first one to stop and which ever drug helps you sleep you do last.

I could be wrong though 

[dangerous7]

thanks for responding @Doctorsrcrap

I like your screen name 

Today was an awful day, hearing that message from the new psychiatrist, how he washed his hands off me, how did he figure out I need admission without even seeing me. We last met in end of December 2022, I do agree I was very anxious that day(that's how he brought up TMS, that practice does offer TMS so it was easy to redirect me there). When I am in this state, it's very hard for to me to know right from wrong. My wife keeps on reminding me of neuro emotions but it's so hard to think rationally when I am being swept away by only negative emotions. 

 

I will wait for one of the moderators to guide me about which drug to taper first. But I do recall from whatever I read on SA earlier, that it should be the activating drug first.

 

Thanks once again.

 

 

[Doctorsrcrap]

That's ok. Just wanted you to know that you are not alone. 

I'm not familiar with some of the drugs you are taking so yes I would wait for a moderator. 

I'm sure alto will be able to help untangle the mess. 

Whatever happens now I dont think i would add in anymore drugs becauae your brain probably doesn't know what's going on. 

This is truely an awful situation we find ourselves in and it's becoming abundantly clear to me that we are the only ones that can get ourselves out. Doctors im afraid are clueless. They will want you to go somewhere because they don't know what else to do but they will only chuck more drugs at you. 

Hold on tight and I'm sure one of the mods will help soon. 

By the way if im not being helpful you can just tell me to be quiet 

[dangerous7]

Oh no, you are being very very very helpful just with your message. I have been so lonely in this struggle, I used to read SA vigorously till mid-last year but after a point, I felt I lost control of my life. I am still struggling with that, but I really hope I can get enough strength to move forward. Right now, it feels like I am very low on inner strength to pull myself out of this mess..

[Doctorsrcrap]

The problem is that once we have sensitized our nervous system the tablets run the risk of no longer working the way they once did because your brain is basically throwing a hissy fit.

Imagine it like a toddler. It's upset about something but you aren't listening to it and you keep trying to make it be quiet but the more you do its screams even louder. What the toddler needs is calm and stability to calm down. So jist imagine your brain as a 2 year old throwing a tantrum. 

I suggest from now on if a mod tells you to do something you follow thier guidance. If you find yourself doubting what they are telling you ask yourself the question. Has listening to the doctors got you anywhere? 

I wish i could do something to support you more but im suffering terribly myself. 

It's terrifying when you come to realise that the people who are supposed to help you and you have been relying on wont have a clue what they are doing. It's down right cruel what the doctors subject us to.

 

[dangerous7]

That's true @Doctorsrcrap

It's hard to be objective when this is happening to us but I try to find hope on this group. This depression is something I have never handled before, but need to learn once again how to have hope.

 

[Altostrata]

14 hours ago, dangerous7 said:

I am not confident about taking this decision myself, hoping to get some help.

 

Sorry, you have to make this decision for yourself. 

 

I am sorry you are in this mess. I don't get paid to do this and I am not willing to be a substitute doctor authority and sacrifice my own free time and wellbeing to dig you out.

[dangerous7]

thanks @Altostrata

 

I will continue sharing my journey here and also hope for response from you and other moderators. I take full responsibility for my actions, just wanted to have a guide and peer support in you and others. 

 

[Doctorsrcrap]

What exactly are you currently taking? Your med history is quite confusing. 

You said one drug in particular is making you depressed. If it were me maybe that's a good place to start?

Maybe you need to look for patterns of what happens throughout the day after taking these drugs to look for clues of what should go first. 

But as I say I'm not a mod so i dont know.  

[dangerous7]

@Doctorsrcrap

8:30am Etizolam(1.5 Controlled release) BENZO

10am Vortioxetine(20mg)

3pm Etizolam(0.5mg)          BENZO

6pm Quetiapine(12.5mg)

7:30pm Miratazapine(7.5mg)

 

 

 

 

[Doctorsrcrap]

That's a lot of meds. I cant even understand what the docs are trying to achieve here. 

Does the mirt help you sleep?

How long you been using a benzo? 

Do you use the benzo consistently? 

Maybe tag a mod like on my way or shep for advice. See if they can shed some light.