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buxy2222 update


buxy2222

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Hi there guys, i thought i would check in with you all and offer some updates on my progress if progress is really what it could be considered as :/.I will be 8 years drug free on the 13th September, gawd i sound like iv been a drug addict or something :P.

Ok so improvements i have see are..... the anxiety is no longer 24/7 just waves of it for no reason, i no longer have hives all year round, i no longer feel like i have been kicked in the chest with oesophagus pain and i am more willing to go out (not alone) and just get on with it no matter how spaced out i feel or what symptoms i have.

I still do not have any symptom free days i am always dealing with one thing or another, but some days are doable now.

 

On the downside, if you can call the above an upside :/, i still get pretty bad waves of symptoms that have me in despair, i am currently experiencing a bad one and it is like being right back in hell. I am super sensitive to stimuli like stress, exercise ect bloody ect and for me the mental symptoms still persist dominantly.

 

I would liken my withdrawal experience to the first part (maybe 3 years ) to being in adrenal overdrive, living on high adrenaline, almost manic, racing and unable to calm any part of my mind and body down. The next stage i consider i hit adrenal burnout, the anxiety abated a lot but i became so fatigued and became more aware of the mental symptoms ie what i call brain panics, almost liken to a feeling of losing your mind, but it always feels so bloody physical too, like electricity pumping through your brain in a mass of confusion and feeling of losing control. So although i consider myself in a much better place i would just say maybe its the less of the 2 evils.

 

Some may say withdrawal cannot last this long, well im proof it can, nothing of my life now resembles anything prior to taking seroxat, and while these symptoms of severe nerve damage and neuro injuries continue then i know i am still living with seroxat aftermath.

 

One bit of good news is i am getting married ( yes someone still loves me with my poorly brain lol ) but i am just hoping that i can enjoy at least some part of the day as apathy and anhedonia still persist daily for me. I hope you guys are making progress and look forward to participating in threads where i am able , although i can find even talking about all this very overwhelming as time has gone on.

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Hey Buxy.

 

Congrats on your upcoming nuptials! Very happy for you. :)

 

You describe the adrenal overdrive vs. adrenal exhaustion stages perfectly. I am in the latter now also.

 

Thanks so much for checking in. It certainly is a challenging ride, but sounds like you truly are making the best of it.

 

B

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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So good to hear from you, buxy, and that you've made a bit of progress.

 

Congratulations for your wedding!

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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