Adubb: Introduction

[Adubb]

Hello I am a 40 y/o male that has been taking 20 to 40 mg of Paxil since 2007 until December 5th, 2022.  In late November of 2022 I had a moderate panic attack while taking Paxil daily.  I quit cold turkey on my own for what I feel to be is an adverse reaction that was a result of kindling.  In late 2015 and mid 2016 I had tried taking myself off of Paxil by cutting pills in half or quarters and skipping days.  After reading this site I realize that I did it wrong.  I had been taking other medications at the time as well as some recreational drugs (cannabis several times and lsd once).  In mid 2016 I was also being treated for an autoimmune disease with Humira and treated for low testosterone with injections.  I am not sure if anybody on this website has any insight on whether any combination of those drugs/medications can contribute to an adverse reaction that would mean I should no longer continue taking Paxil, but I have suspected it to be possible.  While on this trio of medications - Humira, testosterone, and paxil I began having medical anxiety.  I even had a pain in my shoulders that was diagnosed by my primary care physician as lymphadenopathy.  My psychiatrist attributed this new anxiety to the new drug in my life - testosterone.  However after stopping testosterone in hopes that it would eliminate the new anxiety, it did not help.  I had even consulted with my doctor prescribing the Humira after becoming frightened of the possibility of lymphoma.  I was examined and reassured that it was not lymphoma and to see my primary care doctor for a routine round of antibiotics for a suspected infection and stop humira until the antibiotic treatment is complete.  My lymph nodes were never enlarged, only minor ache.  I even had my primary care doctor scan my chest/armpit area to rule out any potential problem and no test showed any abnormality.  So I had stopped testosterone and humira at this point and I began to feel better.  Almost no shoulder pain and no noticeable medical anxiety.  Then when I reintroduced humira the medical anxiety came back worse than ever before.  I also began having more symptoms.  High heart rate, high blood pressure, proteinuria, frequent urination, skin rashes in a few areas, moderate to severe pain in my groin, leg, foot, hip, and back, a feeling like I was going to die, and probably others that I can't recall.  One morning I had fainted and almost hit my head.  My parents called an ambulance and I had mostly recovered by the time they arrived.  I was checked out at the hospital and given the clear to go home but I began feeling really mentally unwell.  I had intense pain shooting down my leg and had crying spells just wishing the pain would end.  I was placed in psychiatric hold for two days.  All this time I remained on paxil.  No doctor suggested anything like this could be a result of paxil or some adverse reaction associated with it.  So after this terrible event I took myself off of the humira and I stabilized in a short period of time.  Blood tests showed no abnormalities.  However for several years after this adverse event I only had partial resolution of my symptoms.  I no longer had medical anxiety but I still had somewhat less frequent urination and lymphadenopathy in my shoulders.  My psychiatrist never suggested stopping taking paxil this whole time.  Fast forward to 2018 and I have still been taking Paxil.  In the fall of 2018 I took a single dose of humira and had another activating event with severe medical anxiety and all of the same symptoms as before with a few new ones like difficulty swallowing, auditory symptoms, tingling in hands and feet, and the skin rashes spread to a few different areas.  More blood tests and no abnormalities other than the proteinuria and slightly elevated white blood cell count.  So I've just been kept on paxil this entire time with no mention of any adverse reaction and I just recently decided to take myself off of paxil as a desperate attempt to get a handle on these anxiety/panic attacks.  I think all of my psychosomatic symptoms indicate that paxil could be the cause of them.  After reading this site I believe i had kindled myself and developed an adverse reaction.  If anybody has a more informed opinion on what I'm dealing with I would love to hear it.  I am still having withdrawal symptoms after coming off of paxil cold turkey.  It hasn't been easy but it's better than the medical anxiety panic attacks I was having.  I'm having the windows and waves.  I am improving slowly. Mainly dealing with occasional agitation, mania, inability to concentrate, frequent urination, proteinuria, lymphadenopathy, skin rashes, insomnia, and lack of appetite.  I at least hope my story can help somebody dealing with something similar have a resource to prevent themselves from suffering from what I have had to deal with the last several years.

[Onmyway]

Welcome to SA @Adubb, 

I am so sorry you have been dealing with so many issues over the years. You have stopped Paxil less than 2 months ago (Dec 5) if I am to understand correctly? And your symptoms are bearable. Have they changed in intensity? 

 

We recommend that during recovery you do not take any other psychoactive substances including prescription drugs and some supplements - sometimes B and D vitamins tend to activate people (irritability, anxiety). Alcohol, cannabis or other street drugs and herbs can also set people back in withdrawal. Your system is sensitized right now so you need to be very gentle with it. 

 

We recommend magnesium and Omega-3 supplements as many of our members find them useful but pls start them at a low dose and one at a time to see how you personally react to them. 

 

Could you please summarize your drug history in a drug signature in a concise format? This will appear after each one of your posts and allows us to have a quick look at your history so that we can advise you quickly. As introduction threads get longer we will not be able to read all of them to know how best to advise you. 

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/28240-how-to-summarize-your-drug-history-in-your-signature/

 

You have asked us to opine on your medical history but we are online volunteers and not medical professionals so we can't know what caused what. I am glad that most of those symptoms have abated with the stopping of Humira and hopefully the ones that emerged after Paxil will abate as well. 

 

I am glad that you have found us and hope that we can help you with any new questions. If your symptoms do get worse you have the option of reinstating a small dose - 0.5 to 1mg which some members find to be sufficient to make things manageable. Reinstatements work better the sooner after stopping you do them. 

 

OMW

 

 

[Adubb]

Thanks for the advice, Onmyway.  I just updated my signature.  Yes I stopped taking Paxil two months ago.  I have noticed that my agitation, mania, and emotional spiral moments are less intense than they were at first.  I am occasionally able to catch my emotional spirals by noticing the things that set them off and preparing mentally to avoid getting to that place.  I have still had some agitation but it is less intense when it does occur.  I still have moments where I feel like I'm not getting much better, but then it does seem to improve gradually.  I have tried taking magnesium which does provide a nice subtle calming effect when I need it.  I have also been taking fish oil with 1g of omega 3 daily.  I do also take a 1,000 IU vitamin d supplement as I have tested low for it in recent years and I think I tolerate it fine.  I am also on a low carb diet(Specific Carbohydrate Diet) and walking 30 minutes to an hour a day.  I also quit smoking cigarettes at the same time as quitting Paxil.  I have not taken any cannabis or other mind altering substances in several months and plan to remain that way for the foreseeable future.  I do have the first appointment with my psychiatrist since taking myself off of meds on Wednesday.  I am uncertain how that may go but I'm just going to be honest and stick to my decision of quitting the medication.  I understand you can't give medical advice.  I'm glad to be able to vent a little and put my story out there in case it helps somebody else.

[Adubb]

I just wanted to add an update to the appointment I had with my psychiatrist this week.  I was able to convince her that I don't need to be on medication!  I was a little surprised she was so welcome to agree that I probably have developed an adverse reaction/sensitivity to serotonergic medication which have been causing me some mild to severe symptoms for the past several years.  After researching my symptoms I learned that everything I've experienced can be attributed to either Paxil adverse reaction or anxiety from the adverse reaction.  I'm a little upset that I had to diagnose myself, but I'm alive and I think I will fully recover in time.  Of course she was excited to present the idea that in the future if I ever need anything she would be more than happy to prescribe more medication.  Let's just say I'll be more cautious about taking any prescription medication in the future and more likely to take care of my body with diet and exercise.  Oh another thing I feel is worth mentioning, I have stopped taking an omega 3 fish oil supplement in favor of consuming more fish to get my omega 3 intake.  I'm mainly eating canned sardines and frozen salmon.  I think that the real fish is significantly more beneficial.  My mental and physical symptoms have improved noticeably after making that change.  Perhaps it was coincidental with a healing window but it was the only change I've recently made and it seems to be maintaining for a whole week at this point.  I'm not 100% normal yet but I have noticed an improvement since last week.  Thanks to the people that run this website, it is a valuable resource for people like me.

[Adubb]

I wanted to update my progress since It's been just over 3 months of cold turkey off of Paxil.  I have improved from where I was just one month ago.  I recently began an adult education/training program to try a new line of work.  I am about 25% complete with my program and progressing normally.  I am able to focus, learn, and maintain a schedule.

 

My mood is significantly improved with a small amount of possible irritability that is manageable.  I think that I have gotten over the period that I was likely to become very agitated to the point that I will fly off the handle and get extremely angry when people push my buttons.  I am better able to manage that part of my mood.  I still get a little agitated over common inconveniences but I am able to manage my response.  I realize that I must maintain control over my emotions for my own benefit.  My mind is able to restrain itself when I tell it that it must.

 

My mind is less foggy and I am able to concentrate and read when I am well rested.  I do get fatigue at the end of the day but for most of the day I can be mentally alert and productive.  Another thing I struggled with during acute withdrawal was forgetfulness.  I would go into the other room and forget why I got up in the first place, but would eventually remember.  That has gone away.

 

On the physical symptoms side, I have been urinating much less frequently.  I kept track of it for two weeks and averaged about 5 times a day.  One thing I did differently was to eliminate caffeine in the form of green and black tea that I was consuming at the time I originally posted.  Not sure if it was coincidence or not, but I am glad to have found relief from that issue.

 

My sleep is coming around, but not perfect.  I still have occasional nights where I only get 6 or so hours of sleep when I would ideally get 7 to 8 hours.  I also have noticed that I will wake up somewhat often about 15 minutes after falling asleep, then after about five minutes of being awake I fall back to sleep and complete my night of sleep uninterrupted.  I can tell that this is not quite normal for me so I know that I am not all the way back to normal.  I read that others noticed their withdrawal/adverse reaction symptoms improved when their sleep improved so I would say that I can relate to that aspect of this experience.

 

I have significantly improved on sleep eating.  Last week I only had two nights of sleep eating over a 2 week period.  This has been a great relief for me since I have been on a diet to lose weight.  I feel much better with myself when I am not eating at an inappropriate time that could hinder my weight loss goal.

 

That's all I can think of now.  This isn't easy and I still have some nagging symptoms but they are improving and I am doing my best to get on with my life.

[Adubb]

I just added fish oil back into my daily intake as of a few days ago.  I had some degree of return of symptoms this past week or so.  I felt some anxiety, heart palpitations, and insomnia that seemed to worsen for no apparent reason recently.  It wasn't as bad as the peak of my worse symptoms, but I was not feeling good.  This week I had two nights of about 5 hours of sleep, which is not a good sign.  Perhaps this was a "wave" but I wanted to make sure that I consider all possibilities for this setback.  The only thing I had recently done differently that I could possibly think of contributing to this setback is I had recently eaten almost no fish in my diet.  I had chosen to try eating more fish in my diet instead of taking the fish oil supplement, but for the past two weeks I have barely eaten any fish and taken no fish oil supplement.  Since starting back on the daily fish oil I am feeling a bit better as the past two days I am sleeping 7+ hours at night.  I will make sure to keep consuming either fish oil(this method is quite convenient so I may do this most of the time) or fish consistently as I now suspect is a significant reason that I had been feeling much better.

[Onmyway]

Hi @Adubb

Sorry to hear you had a setback and good that the fish oil is helping. Sometimes these things are inexplicable. I've had waves that felt completely out of nowhere but often there may be a reason.

 

Remember to be gentle to yourself 

[Adubb]

Thanks for responding Onmyway.  I understand that this is certainly at the root caused by the paxil withdrawal and that a windows and waves pattern is most likely occuring.  I just hope that the fish oil keeps those symptoms mild through this period of life that I'm going through right now.  I just need two more weeks of decent mood and health to get through this then I can relax when I have a bit more time for myself to heal.  I am half way through a job training course.  This is a moderate to high level of positive stress for me right now so I need all of the help I can get.  Prior to taking on this training course I was feeling good so I hope I can return to that state soon.

[Adubb]

I just wanted to update my post with a very welcome change in my symptoms.  I believe that this provides more evidence towards an adverse reaction to Paxil/Serotonergic drugs(I feel uncertain when attempting to diagnose myself, which I unfortunately had to do).  My resting heart rate was 68 bpm at a dentist appointment yesterday.  I was pleasantly surprised to see that number, and even in disbelief based on my recent history of slightly elevated heart rate.  I confirmed this finding with several tests of my own yesterday and today.  All tests were around 60-70 bpm.  My resting heart rate hasn't been this low since before I began having severe psychological and psychosomatic symptoms years ago while taking Paxil.  I have had several documented heart rate checks at various doctors appointments through the years, all of them ranging from 80-100 bpm.  Now that I am about 4 months off of Paxil, my heart rate appears to have normalized.  I'm just glad that it was the anxiety and not something more serious behind the tachycardia.  It makes sense because I had my heart checked by my primary care doctor and even in the emergency room on one or two occasions.  I've had an ECG, x-ray of the chest, stethoscope test with no diagnosis of any heart problem.  This gives me hope that my other symptoms will soon improve.

[Onmyway]

Great news @Adubb. Things are looking up!

omw