☼ Hello from Druid...

[Druid]

Hello everyone..

 

Just want to introduce myself... and give a little insight into my story..

Some may remember me as Musicman from pp although i haven't visited there for some years now..

I was basically talked into going on seroxat/paxil in about 1993, I remember feeling quite sad at the time because i had gone through two relationship breakups in a short period of time and had a daughter from each relationship and was feeling sad about no longer being a full time father to my girls.. I guess the medical profession deemed that emotional response as a mental health problem and so began my nightmare.

I was on seroxat/paxil for 12 years and throughout the duration of that time remained oblivious to the devastating effects that it was having on my life and my health. I basically did a cold turkey withdrawal due to ignorance, which proved to be severe and brutal. I will have been off seroxat 7 years come august but unfortunately i still suffer with many debilitating symptoms and problems. All of which i had never experienced in my life prior to taking meds.

 

i would like to thank Surviving for all the hard work and trouble taken to get this much needed site together,and i feel very honoured to be invited to join this wonderful forum. Having had a quick read through i feel very excited about what can be achieved here,The word potential springs to mind. Although so many good people have gathered together here because of such unfortunate personal circumstance, i truly believe that the wealth of knowledge and experience shared by many folk already on this board will not only provide an invaluable data base of support information but will actually help minimise suffering and save lives, through providing all the information that doctors,psychiatrists and pharmaceutical companies don't want people to know. This in turn will hopefully enable anyone that visits to make informed decisions (something i know many of us have been denied, to our detriment) by being provided with all of the truthful facts and consequences drawn from too many years of needless suffering.

 

Apologies for taking so long to register but i seem to have been suffering some degree of regression in the last maybe 8 months or so after initially making some prior improvement.

 

I look forward to getting to know You all.

Edited May 23, 2011 by Neuroplastic
Adding the poster's name to the thread's title

[stan]

Hi Druid,welcome,

 

i took Paxil 13 years and am near 26 months off and i am very disabled mentally and physically, i have not do a "cold turkey" and know many who wean slowly and are as bad than cold turkey,

for me it depends , after years paxil, of what have been destroyed and what can be repaired (all cannot be repaired nice)

 

i read your testimonies and your difficulties in the past,

what are your debilitating symptoms and problems who are paxil related today after 7 years?

 

thanks much ! and sorry for my bad english.

[Claudius]

Reading that people have still such bad problems 7 years off really scares me to hell. I am now at 3.5 years and still not healed either.

Did you notice any improvments? Are there some symptoms that are diminished? Do you experiecne some window-like episodes?

Wish you all the best in the terrible ordeal which no human being should endure.

[alexjuice]

Welcome Druid -

I'm sorry for everything you've been through. You can find a safe place here to find support and encouragement.

 

Glad you're here.

 

Alex

[Maybe]

Welcome Druid,

 

This really scares me as well, that you still have debilitating problems 7 years out. It makes me wonder if one really is able to recover from these pills, once taken. As far as I know, there is not one member here who has recovered despite being off for years.

[Altostrata]

Druid, thank you for adding your story.

 

Please do trace your condition. While some might find this frightening, we need to know everyone's history so we can understand how recovery progresses.

 

Maybe, it is not true that others have not recovered; some are on this site but haven't spoken up. I've improved greatly myself. I have contacted many people who have recovered, they haven't joined or spoken up because they're busy with their normal lives.

 

If you know of anyone who has had prolonged withdrawal syndrome and recovered, please ask them to post here, their experiences are extremely valuable.

[Maybe]

Sorry, i did not articulate my thoughts too well. Many have definitely gotten better over the months or years, I just wonder if 100% recovery is possible. Living a life without all those weird symptoms.

 

The only people I know who have recovered are on the pp board. The German board is much smaller and there are no threads for success stories.

 

Again, I am sorry. I do not want to intentionally create a bad atmosphere or negative thoughts, although I know it happens quite often...

[Claudius]

Maybe I feel the same as you. And also on PP most of the succes stories come from the proper taperers and not from the CT worse cases... and that makes me nervous too. But I know also that many of them have actually turned the corner but not before 3-5 years. So we have to be patient to the max and try to rebalance our distorted energies as good as we can. For me massage and kinseiology seems to touch the damaged places although the symptoms always come back... it is just a long and arduous road.

[Neuroplastic]

Welcome to the forum, Druid. The famous corner-turning varies between people. Some simply take it longer than others. But this will happen in your case, too.

 

What symptoms have already improved? Creating such list may help you to know that you've been improving. Have you abstained from taking benzos and others during this period? Please, keep us updated about your progress. Hang in there bravely!

[Healing]

Welcome, welcome, welcome, Druid priest! I am *so* glad to see you here. Good on you for registering and posting.

 

Please tell us the truth about your ordeal and let us help you find your way through this descent experience. We look forward to hearing your story and working with you to make healing from these toxic meds easier in any way we possibly can -- for you, for ourselves, for others.

[Healing]

To my fellow SA members -- I really sympathize very much with the fears that get stirred up when you hear of someone further out than you who is still suffering badly. I have experienced the same fear. Terror, really.

 

I think you would agree, though, that you want SA to be a haven for everyone going through this nightmare. You want it to be a place where people know they will be believed and helped.

 

It is particularly hard for people who are taking a long time to heal from psych meds to find a place to get support.

 

I would like to suggest that when a new member first joins, we try to focus on making him / her feel welcome and hopeful. Especially on the intro thread.

 

It might work for you to start another thread in "Symptoms" to ask for reassurance about your legitimate fear. Then, if the new member wants to go there and address your fear, s/he can. Or other members can help you.

 

I want to emphasize that I think it's totally reasonable to feel fear and to ask for help with it. It's just a question of when and how that's done.

[Druid]

I'm so,so sorry if i have in any way caused anybody to feel scared or to think about their own withdrawal experiences in a more negative light because of my personal experience. This was most certainly not my intention, in fact quite the opposite. Perhaps I should have been more specific in my introduction as there are mitigating circumstances that are sure to differ from everybody Else's that are even now difficult for me to write about. I had hoped to just introduce myself and at a later date offer more of my personal circumstance as people here got to know me a little better. I had maybe wrongly presumed that members of this forum were accustomed to long term and protracted withdrawal and thought no one would be reading anything new or alarming in my introductory post.

 

By way of explanation and in the hope that i may alleviate negative feelings or worry that i have caused i feel it only right to share a little more of why i believe my withdrawal experiences have perhaps been more sever than most and why my case is perhaps a little more unique. I do feel a risk of alienating myself from other sufferers and fellow members hence my reluctance to share certain details, but i really do not want to worry anybody unduly so here goes.

 

About 2 years after being put on seroxat/paxil i knew things were not at all right. and i was experiencing what i now know to be common side effects. What complicates things even more for me is that my doctor was also a personal friend whom my wife and i socialised with on occasions. I remember specifically one evening he had brought his sons to our house for a guitar lesson and told us that he had been looking through my medical records and thought he had found the reason for why i had been feeling so sick of late. He told us that my testosterone levels were low and suggested i needed to take steroids to boost my low levels. At the time we had no reason to doubt or distrust this man so shortly after i started a course of steroid injections. Basically i was then given what we now know to be 3 times the allowed maximum dose of sustanon via a weekly injection every week for the next 10 years. Of course neither my self or my wife suspected anything to be wrong as he was also a supposed friend. When i discovered that there was a problem with ssri's in about 2004 via an internet search, and that many other people were sharing my experiences about the problems with this drug the alarm bells started ringing and we delved a little deeper and checked out my medical records. To our horror my testosterone levels were never low and were in fact not only normal at the time of being told they were low but were in fact high/normal...

It is my belief that there has almost certainly been an interaction with the steroids and the ssri that i was taking and that this in effect has caused exacerbation and increased severity of symptoms and also maybe extended the duration of withdrawal. I was also still taking the steroids for my first 9 months of withdrawal as advised by a doctor who told me not to come off both drugs at once.

 

So basically imagine the experience You have had of taking this drug and Your withdrawal experience then imagine being pumped full of a powerful stimulant like steroids in fairly high dosage, and You get the picture why my experiences have perhaps been worse than most.

 

I am always worried that what has happened to me alienates me from most other people that have taken only psych drugs but i hope that i can still offer love and support and encouragement to people suffering so badly and so needlessly because of this epidemic of dangerous drug prescribing by an out of control medical profession. I have at least built a wealth of experience in dealing with adversity and on a more positive note it may encourage some people to know just how much punishment our bodies and brains can actually take and survive from. There are already some excellent threads on here about neuroplasticity and the brains ability to rewire and heal and even compensate, of which i am an advocate. New evidence is filtering through all the time now, and there are many examples out there of people healing after longer than 7 years. I know how painful scary and downright frustrating this journey can be but i believe it is a journey and not something set in stone..

 

Again i apologise sincerely for any distress i may have caused and by all means if the moderator deems any of this inappropriate or feels that it will cause any body to feel scared or negative in any way please feel free to delete my posts and or my account with my blessing.

[angie007]

Hey druid,

welcome my friend, its lovely to have you here,

you have not scared anyone, you have joined this ste and told

your atory.

We all have different experiences for taking this drug, and

totally different reactions when tapering and coming off.

 

I, for one am very glad your here, and we must have a natter

very soon and have a catch up.

 

Welcome again anmd hope you enjohy your time here!!!!!

[Neuroplastic]

Druid, there's absolutely no reason to apologize. You've described your situation, what WD looked like, what adversities you've gone through while in it (steroid shots, etc). You did it all in a candid and open way. This will help us build up the body of medical data, this will help you and many others. Basing on your experience, others will be extra cautious about taking certain substances prescribed by the doctors.

 

All is fine! The main premise of this place is coming as close to the Truth as possible. This way we will be able to change things for better. The *truth* was suppressed long enough by the medical field.

 

What symptoms are you still suffering from? If you needed our help and advice, you can start the thread in the Symptoms Forum. Every time you experience improvement or other important physical/emotional changes, please tell us about it in this thread. Once you're healed, you'll be an inspiration for others.

 

Hang in there.

[Hopeful]

To my fellow SA members -- I really sympathize very much with the fears that get stirred up when you hear of someone further out than you who is still suffering badly. I have experienced the same fear. Terror, really.

 

I think you would agree, though, that you want SA to be a haven for everyone going through this nightmare. You want it to be a place where people know they will be believed and helped.

 

It is particularly hard for people who are taking a long time to heal from psych meds to find a place to get support.

 

I would like to suggest that when a new member first joins, we try to focus on making him / her feel welcome and hopeful. Especially on the intro thread.

 

It might work for you to start another thread in "Symptoms" to ask for reassurance about your legitimate fear. Then, if the new member wants to go there and address your fear, s/he can. Or other members can help you.

 

I want to emphasize that I think it's totally reasonable to feel fear and to ask for help with it. It's just a question of when and how that's done.

 

 

Healing, this is an EXCELLENT post thanks!

 

 

Druid,

Thanks so much for joining…I’ve tried to keep up with you through Jo from time to time and am so happy you have decided to join us. Keeping up with protracted people over the years has been my lifeline to continue to put one foot in front of the other. I am so sorry to hear that you are still dealing with issues, but I believe most of us “old timers” are in various stages of the same boat.

 

For those of you concerned about the duration of withdrawal:

I will be six years out this August and while I am not 100% symptom free I call what I am dealing with “residual symptoms”. I am back to living life as I did prior to this ordeal.

[Altostrata]

Druid, that was a most excellent post.

 

Most of us have had experience with multiple drugs because we searched so hard for help from doctors, and most had nothing else to offer but more medication.

 

Please do not feel you need to hide anything about your condition. We want openness here, or collectively we'll never get to the bottom of this.

[Healing]

Oh, Druid, that was so brave of you to share all that. And so generous of you! And I really think it might be a real step forward in your healing to just let it out! Bravo! Bravo!

[buxy2222]

Helllooooo Druid great to see you have joined, im with ya hun 7 years for me too in September and still going through the mill, only consulation in all this is i have had you to share it all with , maybe not so good for you though lol.

[stan]

hi Druid,

 

i thank you to tell the truth,

and still not know from what you suffer,

I am very interested

 

thanks again

[Altostrata]

Druid, how are you doing now?

[indigo]

I would also like to know how you are doing now as I am also originally from Wales

and also was lead into the psychiatric dark woods at a time when I was, in retrospect,

very reasonably simply very sad given my circumstances at the time.

[Druid]

Hello Alto!.. How are You?... and kudos to You for the amazing success this site is proving to be.. I know I'm not alone in feeling appreciation and respect of the highest order for all the hard work it must have taken.

 

I'm doing OK thank You.. While certainly not as healed as I would like to be, I'm generally in a far more comfortable place than I was for many years.. Most of the symptoms that I still have are a far weaker version or more residual than they once were. I continue to see improvements even after so long, 10 years plus, which I find incredible and would never had believed if I hadn't lived through and experienced it myself.

 

Hi Indigo.. 

 

Where in Wales were You from?.. I'm not native to these part's I was born in England but have been here over 20 years now. It's a beautiful place and I feel very fortunate to be here.

 

Thats a really tough time You're at with regards to Your taper.. It's good to see You're taking Your time and doing it as gently as possible, It's easy to become impatient and try to go too quickly as many of us old timers did through ignorance. It looks as though You have tapered correctly so hopefully You will reap the rewards a little further down the line.. hopefully lessening severity of w/d and a faster recovery..

[Altostrata]

Good to hear from you again, Druid. I'm doing all right, very busy here.

 

I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol

☼

to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering.

Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually!

[Muddles]

Healing still happening at 10 years off! That's amazing and something I never thought could happen. I'm sure this update will inspire so many. It certainly has given me a lot more hope and a different out-look. Thank you so much.

[indigo]

Hello Druid. I grew up in North Wales then came to California after university and have been here ever since. 

I'm delighted to "meet" someone here from my home turf. I hope we can keep connected here.

My tapering is going pretty well now that I've surrendered to how tiny each drop needs to be

to keep withdrawal symptoms within the realm of bareable, and learning my own pace.