Lilu: Depression worsened by meds

[areyouthere]

 

 

Either way, my instinct for self-preservation has really kicked in, and it's telling me to stay away from him and anyone else to regularly upsets me.  It doesn't matter that he loves me. It doesn't matter that he's done a lot for me.  If he continually undermines my recovery, and disturbs my peace of mind, then I need to limit my exposure to him. 

 

WOOHOO!!! That's the ticket Lilu!!! Yes ma'am!!!  You GO!!! 

 

I absolutely LOVE how you are putting yourself first and protecting your state of mind and emotional self!!! ** jumps up and down**

 

YES!!!!!! I remember coming to this revelation myself when it FINALLY dawned on me that the ONLY person who could or WOULD take care of me was ME!! And it was after some pretty major stressors as well. 

 

Just don't even TRY to mess around with one of these brains…..right?!! 

 

RU      

 

ps. 

 

 

I'm going to go back to Lexapro tablets for now and not do the liquid taper until after I rebuild  my life.  I'm going to go back up to 2.5 mg by cutting a 5 mg tablet.  Unfortunately the 5 mg tabs are not scored.   I'll try this for a few weeks and see if I get any better at coping with stressful events and triggers.

 

 

Great plan Stan.

[Lilu]

WOOHOO!!! That's the ticket Lilu!!! Yes ma'am!!!  You GO!!! 

 

I absolutely LOVE how you are putting yourself first and protecting your state of mind and emotional self!!! ** jumps up and down**

LOL Thanks for the standing ovation...haha  I hope my resolve lasts. It's not natural for me to always keep my guard up. Especially since I have been practicing the "forgive and forget" method all my life..and getting hurt over and over and over again.  This is especially hard to do around someone who is very present in my life on a daily basis.  And I must say, that after daily contact, it feels as if I'm going through withdrawal from him.  Which only tells me that I have gotten too close to someone who can so easily pull the rug out from under me.  I don't even know where my boundaries are anymore. I wonder if I EVER did.

 

As for the Lexapro, well I discovered tonight that the 5mg tablet can't be cut evenly...Rats!  So that definitely puts a dent in my plan. I guess I'll have to either up my liquid Lexapro or actually go back to the 5mg tablet.  Ugh...no good solutions.  Since Lexapro at that dose made me quite drowsy from what I remember.

[Altostrata]

Why not just increase your liquid Lexapro slightly?

 

Please consider this -- your entire nervous system ecology may have changed.

[Lilu]

 

Why not just increase your liquid Lexapro slightly?

 

Please consider this -- your entire nervous system ecology may have changed.

 

So, what are you implying by that statement?

[Altostrata]

That the rules you think govern your nervous system and your use of psychiatric drugs have changed because your nervous system has changed.

[Lilu]

That the rules you think govern your nervous system and your use of psychiatric drugs have changed because your nervous system has changed.

 

Alto, so are you saying that maybe after I get off antidepressants and go through the post withdrawal period, that I may NOT be prone to depression anymore?

[Altostrata]

No, what I'm saying is your assumptions about how the drugs will fix you and how much it will take may be wrong.

[areyouthere]

Just out of curiosity Nar, and this is in no way a criticism of your view because I really am not sure that I am "prone to depression" genetically, but do you personally think that there is a genetic component to alcoholism?

 

Thanks ,

 

RU

[Altostrata]

Let's take the genetic determinism debate out of Lilu's topic and discuss it elsewhere, please.

[Narcissus]

I have erased my post because it seemed inappropriate on second reading. I am going to create a subject on genetics where we can discuss their role in depression, this is not the right place for such a discussion. I'm sorry, Lilu, if you'd like to read my post I can message it to you.

[Lilu]

It is the opinion of many of us here that depression is not an arbitrary physiological deficit or some fixed and genetically determined inability to handle stress (genetics, we're increasingly learning, are not fixed and isolated but are in constant feedback with our entire organism), but is symptomatic of ongoing difficulties in living and thinking.  You seem hellbent on this notion that your brain is somehow faulty.  I know you were told this when you were younger, but bear in mind that this deterministic biological view is coming under a lot of fire at the moment.  You might try asking yourself what you get out of this idea that your brain is irrecoverably "wired" to be depressed and whether it's really helping you in the long run.

I got it in my email and pasted it above.  In response, my "idea" that my brain is depressed, is not really an idea, but my own memories as well as written evidence that I have from my journals. Mild depression has always been with me.

 

I suspect that my depression became severe after I had stopped taking Reglan, which is known to induce clinical depression in those already prone to it. (If course I had no idea back then that it's a drug that's essentially a type of antipsychotic.)  I think I started having severe symptoms after I had stopped taking it, and in retrospect went into withdrawal.  That coupled with some major stressors, and I haven't been the same since. 

 

Either way,  I started experiencing depression type symptoms, from what I remember, around age 14.

[Meimeiquest]

Lilu, I have been thinking a lot about what depression means because I am going through the "trauma" of a new doctor, an excellent doctor by conventional psychiatry's standards. She is pushing on me intellectually. This is the analogy I've come to: Many, many years ago I was a nurses aide in a tiny rural hospital. There were no intercoms or phones at patients' bedsides. So if there was a code blue, a patient falling in our arms, or any other emergency that required immediate help, we pushed the call light three times. And many patients, especially confused ones, did that as well. So we had "3 call lights" on a frequent basis. To me, depression is "3 call lights." It is very, very important to attend to. But until you get into that patient's room and assess the situation, you have no idea what is going on. And what you find may be very tricky to sort out. Or you could just yank the buzzer out of the wall, and there would be no more alarms....as long as the AD kept working.

 

On a drug level, this was my experience with Adderall. I was soooo tired, very thoroughly medicated psychiatrically. So I went to an integrative doc, spent a bajillion dollars, got a little help, but no solution. So when I gave up, the pdoc added Adderall, which with a lot of tweaking was actually very helpful. Until I heard a random radio show on how people can have sleep apnea without obvious symptoms. In my sleep study, my longest breathing pause was ninety seconds. My lowest O2 sat was 70%. This was the reason that my 24 hour urinary excretion of adrenaline was double the high limit of normal for the integrative doc (he said he wasn't concerned about it, wanted to focus on my elevated cortisol). Yes, the Adderall helped keep me awake, but it kept me from attending to the symptoms of the real problem.

[areyouthere]

Hi Lilu… I am very interested in your experience(s) for dosing the lexapro more than once per day as was suggested by your doctor.

 

I am currently tapering lexapro ( brand.. not generic) and am thinking of using half a tablet and taking it and then making my own capsules using lexapro powder ( ground up lex tablets) for the rest.

 

My thinking is that it might offset some WD symptoms. 

 

The tablet would represent about 70 % of my daily dose ( I'd take it early morning)  & the capsule the other 30 % of my daily dose. Thinking that I'd dose that around 6 pm?

 

What are your thoughts>

 

Thanks for any help, insight or advice that you can give.

 

RU

[Lilu]

Hi Lilu… I am very interested in your experience(s) for dosing the lexapro more than once per day as was suggested by your doctor.

 

I am currently tapering lexapro ( brand.. not generic) and am thinking of using half a tablet and taking it and then making my own capsules using lexapro powder ( ground up lex tablets) for the rest.

 

My thinking is that it might offset some WD symptoms. 

 

The tablet would represent about 70 % of my daily dose ( I'd take it early morning)  & the capsule the other 30 % of my daily dose. Thinking that I'd dose that around 6 pm?

 

What are your thoughts>

 

Thanks for any help, insight or advice that you can give.

 

RU

Hi Ru,

I'm not sure what dose of Lexapro  you are currently on, but in my experience, the twice daily dosing became needed at very low doses. It was after I had crossed the 2.0 ml dose (which is equivalent to 2 mg) that I needed to split the dose into AM/PM, with the larger dose in the morning.  For example 1 ml in the morning and .7 ml at around 5pm or as soon as I get home. This is what I'm doing right now.  I chose 5pm because one of the side effects of Lexapro withdrawal for me, is extreme drowsiness AND on the flipside - Insomnia! 

 

Going below 2 ml it also became apparent that I need to slow my taper down from 10% per week, to 5% per week.  When I don't, I start getting insomnia within two days.  It seems that it takes 2 days for your body to register a change in the dose level. Which makes sense, since Lexapro's half-life is around 27 hours.  It's longer half-life is the reason why you normally don't need to take Lexapro twice a day.  But I guess at doses as small as 2 mg, it is processed differently. I don't know.

 

One thing I know is that if you want to taper slowly -  you can't do it with a tablet. The 5 mg tablet isn't scored and doesn't cut evenly. With powder I don't know how you can measure it to the accuracy of 2 decimal points.  Some people are using a jewelry scale, but it seems to me that using liquid lexapro is easier than making your own capsules or what not.  I was VERY resistant at first to have to deal with syringes and liquid medicine, and tapering super slowly....but if I want to keep functioning normal while I taper, that seems to be the way to go.

[areyouthere]

 

Hi Lilu… I am very interested in your experience(s) for dosing the lexapro more than once per day as was suggested by your doctor.

 

I am currently tapering lexapro ( brand.. not generic) and am thinking of using half a tablet and taking it and then making my own capsules using lexapro powder ( ground up lex tablets) for the rest.

 

My thinking is that it might offset some WD symptoms. 

 

The tablet would represent about 70 % of my daily dose ( I'd take it early morning)  & the capsule the other 30 % of my daily dose. Thinking that I'd dose that around 6 pm?

 

What are your thoughts>

 

Thanks for any help, insight or advice that you can give.

 

RU

Hi Ru,

I'm not sure what dose of Lexapro  you are currently on, but in my experience, the twice daily dosing became needed at very low doses. It was after I had crossed the 2.0 ml dose (which is equivalent to 2 mg) that I needed to split the dose into AM/PM, with the larger dose in the morning.  For example 1 ml in the morning and .7 ml at around 5pm or as soon as I get home. This is what I'm doing right now.  I chose 5pm because one of the side effects of Lexapro withdrawal for me, is extreme drowsiness AND on the flipside - Insomnia! 

 

Going below 2 ml it also became apparent that I need to slow my taper down from 10% per week, to 5% per week.  When I don't, I start getting insomnia within two days.  It seems that it takes 2 days for your body to register a change in the dose level. Which makes sense, since Lexapro's half-life is around 27 hours.  It's longer half-life is the reason why you normally don't need to take Lexapro twice a day.  But I guess at doses as small as 2 mg, it is processed differently. I don't know.

 

One thing I know is that if you want to taper slowly -  you can't do it with a tablet. The 5 mg tablet isn't scored and doesn't cut evenly. With powder I don't know how you can measure it to the accuracy of 2 decimal points.  Some people are using a jewelry scale, but it seems to me that using liquid lexapro is easier than making your own capsules or what not.  I was VERY resistant at first to have to deal with syringes and liquid medicine, and tapering super slowly....but if I want to keep functioning normal while I taper, that seems to be the way to go.

 

Thanks for responding so quickly. I will copy and paste this into my own thread for future reference. It all makes good sense and I am so glad you found a strategy that works for you. Splitting the doses for lex is a new one if I'm not mistaking so I will consider what you have written here.

 

It would be helpful for all if you could keep us updated on your progress with it.

 

I am at a much higher dose than that ( I'm trying to get down to 10 mg from 20mg….) but am hyper sensitive to decreases of any kind. I think. I'll know better in a week or so as I drop another 7 % or so.

 

I agree with your assessment of the difficulty of cutting with a tablet and as a matter of fact is one of the reasons I am searching for options as my scale measures accurately to the hundredth's place but at the point at which I am , in order to decrease more slowly I need even more accuracy.

 

So. I will attempt a drop in a few. I DON'T think I'll attempt to split doses to alleviate symptoms as you described though..although it's nice to have another option. If this next drop is bumpy ( and I'll know pretty soon) I think I'll have to go with the liquid.

 

It is tempting to want to tough it out but at this point I have more to lose than to gain. 

 

Thanks again.

 

RU

[Lilu]

I wish I never reinstated my dose from 1 mg to 2 mg.  I should have just ridden the wave until a window appeared. Instead I wasted another 4 months getting back down from 2 mg back to 1 mg. Only to see the same symptoms return.  It seems that even tapering very slowly using liquid, is way worse this time around after 9 years of using antidepressants. The first time I tapered Effexor after 3.5 years, and even though I took big drops it was way better than my symptoms with this slow taper.  

It just seems like my brain has lost its ability to cope with stress and conflict.  The stress then triggers a downward spiral into severe depression, lethargy, and major crying spells.  I'm losing hope.  I wonder if my brain can ever return to normal?  I too feel like I have lost years of my life, which has been at a standstill for so long. So, so sad.

[Meimeiquest]

Hi Lilu, knowing you are a research girl, have you seen the stuff at mensahmedical.com? Like you, I keep hoping for an easier answer .

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Lilu,

 

So sad to hear you are not doing well. Are you planning to ride it out?

[Lilu]

Hi Lilu, knowing you are a research girl, have you seen the stuff at mensahmedical.com? Like you, I keep hoping for an easier answer .

I just read through all their categories under anxiety and depression. First of all, I don't like that they mesh the two together.  To me, anxiety and depression are at opposite ends of the spectrum. Depression feels flat, lethargic, lifeless.  It requires a boost of energizing neurotransmitters and/or supplements. Whereas anxiety is full of nervous energy. The key word here being energy.  Anxiety requires calming supplements and/or neurotransmitters.  

 

Either way, this clinic is in Illinois, and they only take cash.  So, not an option for me.

 

I am experimenting with supplements. I tried taking 5htp and L-tyrosine, but one of them or both is causing severe reflux in me. Not sure which yet.   It seems that with any supplement or drug, you gotta try them one at a time, to isolate the side effects.  I'll also try SAMe, and CoQ10.  Anything to get my energy levels and my mood up.  I would try omega3's but I'm not one to take 6 pills a day. If I don't take it first thing in the morning, I wont' take it at all.  So, we'll see.

[Lilu]

Lilu,

 

So sad to hear you are not doing well. Are you planning to ride it out?

Yeah, I'm going to ride it out.  I don't see that I have any other choice at this point.  I just want to be done with this taper, so that my brain can start to repair itself.  No point in reinstating a higher dose.  The body wants what it is used to. The body tries to maintain its homeostasis. The way I see it is that in order to create a new normal, is to destabilize the old normal.

[Meimeiquest]

Well, I hope you find something in some arena that helps soon.

[Lilu]

Well, I hope you find something in some arena that helps soon.

Thanks Meimeiquest!  I feel better today than yesterday.  It really is a constant roller-coaster. 

 

It's amazing though, that even the people that know about my ordeal, still just don't get the whole depression thing.  If I'm in a bad mood, I still get asked, "why, what's the matter?" or "what happened?"  Almost everyday my mother asks me how I'm doing, and is always disappointed when the answer is not a positive one.  She's always happy, no matter what's going on.  She has no idea and can't understand what it feels like to not feel like doing something or anything at all. To have to force yourself to do anything and everything, when all you really want to do is just lie there or watch tv. When every little chore feels like it requires a mountain of an effort.  She's never felt that way.  In fact, I don't really know anyone in person, who's ever felt that way.

[Meimeiquest]

Read your post on another thread...

 

I was misdiagnosed with depression when what I actually had was fatigue. I have recently been reading Dr. Sarah Myhill on chronic fatigue. She has an extensive website. I would especially recommend for you, given your symptoms, the section on gut care. I have no history of GI symptoms, and I already knew I was gluten-sensitive, but this is turning out to be huge for me (I have had a lot of exposure to antibiotics and NSAIDS). Kelly Brogan's website, www.kellybroganmd.com, has a lot of info on potential biological causes of depression.

[Altostrata]

Lilu, I feel quite strongly that you want certain types of support from this site you should find elsewhere.

 

This is NOT a support site for "depression" or other so-called mental illnesses. We can offer you suggestions about tapering and support your withdrawal process.

 

Otherwise, we will not support your idea that you have a brain disease called "depression." If you want to believe that, it's up to you, but such discussion is inappropriate on this site. You are wasting my time arguing about this. It's irrelevant to the mission of this site.

 

There are many other sites where you will find many people who agree with you that you have a brain disease called "depression." You should find them and participate there.

[Lilu]

Read your post on another thread...

 

I was misdiagnosed with depression when what I actually had was fatigue. I have recently been reading Dr. Sarah Myhill on chronic fatigue. She has an extensive website. I would especially recommend for you, given your symptoms, the section on gut care. I have no history of GI symptoms, and I already knew I was gluten-sensitive, but this is turning out to be huge for me (I have had a lot of exposure to antibiotics and NSAIDS). Kelly Brogan's website, www.kellybroganmd.com, has a lot of info on potential biological causes of depression.

Thanks Meimequest, I'll check it out. How did you know that you are gluten-sensitive? 

[Meimeiquest]

Elimination diet. I also had IgG testing, but many say it is not always reliable. It showed gluten, milk (cow and goat), eggs and kidney beans. Right now my heart beat increases to any stress...it really, really goes off with eggs or milk, haven't tried gluten.

[Lilu]

Update:

 

Finished my year long taper 3 weeks ago.  Generally, it's been another year from hell with all the waves and windows of withdrawal.  Months of rage, months of crying, weeks of insomnia, weeks of relief, and back again. Rinse. Repeat. We'll see how it goes from here.

 

At the end of the taper, I had a bout of insomnia for just as long with severe crying spells on some days. Noticed that Ambien definitely causes and/or worsens the crying spells.  Have been experiencing morning depression and fatigue, which almost disappears in the afternoons lately.  Have also been experiencing a lot more anxiety in social situations, the last few months. This is unusual for me.  It seems that my emotions and moods are all over the place.  Depression, anger, irritability, to feeling perfectly fine and content.  Still very sensitive and reactive to any kind of stress.  

Have been experimenting with SAMe and L-Tyrosine again.  Ughhh...anything to take away that heavy tired lethargic feeling. It seems that anything that increases norepinephrine gives me energy and clarity of mind.  I took SAMe today at 8 am, and by noon, I was pumped and zooming around.   But the results are not consistent.  I'll have to give it a week and see if I get a consistent effect.

 

Recently found out about two herbs from Dr. Oz that are highly recommended for both energy and stress. Ashwaghanda and Rhodiola. Basically they are both from the Ginseng family.  Might check those out as well.

[Lilu]

Elimination diet. I also had IgG testing, but many say it is not always reliable. It showed gluten, milk (cow and goat), eggs and kidney beans. Right now my heart beat increases to any stress...it really, really goes off with eggs or milk, haven't tried gluten.

Hmmm... I suspect that I have some sensitivity, sometimes I break out around my mouth right after I eat. It might be cheese. But I will never ever give up my favorite food... Eating is one of the few pleasures in life that is available to me. In fact I have a perfectly beautiful fruit tart sitting in my frig right now, that is calling my name.... mmmmm.

[Lilu]

Elimination diet. I also had IgG testing, but many say it is not always reliable. It showed gluten, milk (cow and goat), eggs and kidney beans. Right now my heart beat increases to any stress...it really, really goes off with eggs or milk, haven't tried gluten.

 

I just spend several hours reading about "Brain Allergy". Holy cow. There are quite a few clinical and case studies of even severe mental illness being cleared by eliminating the offending foods.  It's quite shocking actually. While the brain-gut connection is something everyone experiences, but food allergies actually causing psychosis and schizophrenia? Damn.

 

So, I've heard of Elisa testing, but it's so expensive. Where did you get your IgG testing done? Was it expensive?

 

As for gluten, I don't know how I could even attempt an elimination diet. I mean almost everything I eat is made of wheat or has wheat in it.   Did you just buy gluten-free bread and/or pasta or not eat wheat at all?  How long do you eliminate each food for?   A holistic doctor told me tonight that instead of elimination, I could eat a particular food all day, kind of OD on it, and see if I have a reaction.  I don't think that would be as effective as an elimination diet.

 

Personally, I've never noticed any specific reactions to any foods.  Sure a bowl of pasta will make you sleepy, but it does that to everybody. That's what eating lots of carbs does.  Alcohol seems to make my heart beat faster. 

On this site, http://www.alternativementalhealth.com/articles/brainallergies.htm , it says:

Food intolerance, lack of absorption of food and relief with fasting are three key pointers to the food-allergic patient. These patients usually have a low blood histamine, a fast pulse and food idiosyncrasies which may be expressed as strong likes and dislikes. Favourite foods are often the offending foods so the patients is like an addict, eating the offending food to obtain a psychiatric high.

[Meimeiquest]

Trying to find help for my daughter, I have stumbled into some autism stuff, not that she has it. The "rock star" docs in natural autism treatment won't even see a patient until they have been off gluten and dairy for six months. They think it makes such a difference, they can't assess the child until that is taken out of the way. And they don't want to waste their time on unmotivated parents.

 

I think ELISA testing is interesting and unnecessary. But I am sure you can get it done at a order-it-yourself lab. pyroluriatesting.com may have it. At the time, our insurance covered it, but it was hundreds of dollars.

 

Gluten sensitivity may not even come up, because one may not have an actual allergy. You can Google "Kelly Brogan zonulin" for more info on that. And some think now that the Roundup applied to grains may be the actual cause of some symptoms.

 

What I did recently, and then some wrote that they were helped in a similar way, was the paleo autoimmune diet. You do that for 6 to 8 weeks and then slowly add food in, testing each for about five days. You can google it, plus recipes. The problem with the doc's plan is that it can take six weeks to wash out all the symptoms...that is the purpose of the AI diet, to find out how you feel with the likely allergy/inflaming foods out. If you are symptomatic before you start, you can't accurately assess how forcing the food makes you feel.

 

From someone old enough to be your mom or grandma....depression is a symptom, not a disease. I really think you will have a better life if you look at it that way. Wishing you the best!

[Lilu]

It's been two years from hell. Actually it's been five. But the last year has been by far the worst. I have never cried so much in my life.  I know a lot of you in your posts write that things will get better. But I can barely function.  My parents point out the fact that I have had crying spells long before I ever went on medication.  I've been in crisis mode for over a year now. I feel like I will never get better. And even if I do, I will still be that person who suffers from insomnia, anxiety, depression, crying spells, OCD, and destructive relationships.   No book, no therapist, no healing modality, no psychic, no guru, no doctor, no supplement, has ever really changed the core me.  For a while Effexor made me function well, but not without horrible side effects.  I'm at the end of my rope.

[Meimeiquest]

I am just not a good writer, but I do feel for you. Did I write to you that when I was stuck, I went to Mensah Medical? Maybe your parents could help (mine did). I started a thread on Mensah Medical back then. There is much I don't understand and some I don't agree with, but I have undeniably improved on their protocol combined with dietary changes. I'm not trying to "push" them, I just don't know what else to suggest.

[Lilu]

From the the topic Tips to help sleep (reposted here for my records)

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/555-tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-withdrawal-insomnia/?p=117379

 

I have had a hellish month of insomnia, and crying spells due to using sleeping pills and benzos. They don't work on me anymore. It seems that my gaba receptors have become desensitized or something. Most recent experience was with Sonata, which was awful. It gave me the worst suicidal thoughts and drowsiness that lasted all day. I felt worse after using Sonata than not getting any sleep at all last night. None. Even after taking 2 mg of Ativan.

So, I saw my Psych today, and she thinks that Mirtazipine is the answer for my anxiety and sleeplessness.  My nerves feel like they are shot to shreds. I need to stabilize and sleep. She suggested I start with half of the lowest dose nightly. She seems to think that I can do this for two weeks and then cut the pill in half for a week and just stop.

Please need feedback asap.  Thank you

.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/555-tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-withdrawal-insomnia/?p=117650

Posted 10 January 2015 - 02:14 PM
Thank you all for your replies. I'm not going to gamble with the Mirtazipine. I hear what you're all saying. Still. I have tried quite a few supplements. I bought Inositol. I doesn't seem to do anything, even if I take 2 650mg capsules at night or during the day.  I have tried 5htp. In the past I tried other supplements like Valerian herb mix. As well as stimulating supplements for fatigue, like Tyrosine, SAMe, phosphotidylserine, etc.  I've never had a supplement or an herb help me.  Inositol did help with anxiety when I was taking Effexor.  I know there are other supplements yet to try, like Magnesium, Ashwagandha, probiotics, etc.  There are so many recommendations of vitamins to take.  It's all very unclear with too many options.  I am exhausted and there is no clear protocol to follow.  Should I also take B-complex, Zinc, Taurine, Glutamine - I read all these help "make" GABA.

I am in the state I am in, not just from sleep deprivation, but also from the crying spells that benzos and sleep meds seem to give me.  So yes, I definitely regret reverting back to those.  They helped in the past. And somehow I would get out of the insomnia cycle on my own.  This time it's different.  I've never had this much insomnia and anxiety before.  Shortly after I finished my taper I started experiencing those "cortisol mornings."  I've always been the kind of person who's extremely affected by just ONE night of less than 8 hrs of sleep. But a month and a half of 3-6 hr nights has been unimaginable. 
I'm trying to hang in there.  I just wish I knew exactly what to take in terms of supplements. A friend of mine took himself through a cold-turkey withdrawal with the help of some powerful probiotics.  Even after a decade of poly-drugging, I guess he was one of the lucky ones. Just probiotics and listening to binaural beats anti-anxiety music. Lost 60 lbs in 3 months. Nothing like the kind of withdrawal most of us on here experience.

[mammaP]

Are you taking mirtazepine now Lilu? Could you update your signature please. 

 

It sounds like your nervous system is very unstable and taking the drugs has made it worse. As for supplements,

many of those can make things worse too and the best thing to do is nothing. Alto swears by magnesium and it

helps lots of us. Also fish oil, that also helps many people and I've found both those to be good for me. Other

stuff I've tried, valerian, antihistamines, niacin etc. All made things worse, sometimes our brains just need to be

left alone to recover and regrow. I have insomnia too but can cope with 3 hours sleep a night, any more is a real

bonus but it gets really distressing when I get no sleep at all for days on end.  It does settle down eventually so that

I get some sleep and I can't wait to report here that I am sleeping the whole night, as yet that is just a dream! 

[Muddles]

Please don't take mirtazapine.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

From the the topic Tips to help sleep (reposted here for my records)

Posted 10 January 2015 - 02:14 PM

Thank you all for your replies. I'm not going to gamble with the Mirtazipine. I hear what you're all saying.

 

I guess we talked her out of it, thank goodness.