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CrazyMom: Piled the meds on me years ago


CrazyMom

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Hi all,

 

I started on ADs as an adult because I finally escaped an abusive family (managed not to commit suicide while there somehow). Couldn't deal with trauma but tried in therapy and took AD then off then on with benzo, then off. Then PPD hit me hard and they started me on zoloft, and I got WORSE which I couldn't believe was possible. After weeks or month they cold switched me to a different one so of course there was w/d from the zoloft plus the new one, etc. So I was hospitalized and drugged with benzo, I cut it in half to 2mg daily when I got out (boy did i feel awesome in hospital on 4mg though!) Hung in there on prozac and benzo for a while then it was increased and I got really sick with evil anxiety and severe depression. Hospitalized and drugged with high dose seroquel (collapsed and slept for a full day there so they lowered it a little), lithium, wellbutrin and continued benzo. Diagnosed with bipolar II because I "can't tolerate SSRIs."

 

Weaned off Seroquel slowly over a year (it was from a very high dose). That was a nightmare. Pdoc was uninterested in withdrawal issues. Lithium was lowered. Wellbutrin is the same dose. The last couple of years I've weaned down the benzo from 2mg to now almost 0.125 daily (water taper). Plan to hold there. Withdrawal is apparently all in my imagination because clonozepam doesn't cause withdrawal. That's what my pdoc says. Before you tell me to switch, you should know that I tried and she is actually the least evil in the area. I can argue with her and she works with me to a point which so far has worked. She wants to cut the wellbutrin (surprising) and I KNOW she will go too fast so I need to know what is a good speed. I am apparently very sensitive to removing this stuff. In hindsight I would not have weaned down so much on the benzo but that was the only thing she was willing to lower and I just knew she was going to just cut me off almost CT soon if I didn't.

 

So that's the mess. I'm not sure if it's all chronologically correct. My brain is mush of course. Right now in addition to the withdrawal irritability and physical stuff which is not as bad as in the past, I'm super anxious that removing these meds will land me back in jail the hospital and they will put me on more drugs and raise everything I'm already on too. I know my husband is worried that I will get sick again which doesn't help me!

 

I have questions but I will keep those for the other parts of the forum.

 

I hope you're having a good day.

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi CM and welcome! You can post any questions you have in this forum, they're likely to be spotted here sooner. This can be used like a journal for you, it will be convenient for you to have all your info in one place.

 

Of course if you have questions that you feel would be more appropriate in a diff forum, feel free to post elsewhere.

 

I'm glad you've joined us!

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Aside from the clonazepam, what drugs are you currently taking and how much? What drugs are you no longer taking and when and how did you stop taking them? I can't quite figure it out from your drug history and it's impossible to give any advice that might ease your withdrawal without knowing.

 

Welcome to the forum, CM. You'll find lots of solid information and friendly support here.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • Administrator

Welcome, CM.

 

As you're probably aware by now, having a bad reaction to an antidepressant does not mean you're bipolar. It means you're having a bad reaction to an antidepressant.

 

Good for you for reducing the benzo so far. Please do hold and stabilize before making more med changes. See our topic Tips for tapering off Wellbutrin, SR, XR, XL (buproprion)

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Hi all,

 

I was put on a ton of stuff after a very bad reaction to multiple consecutive antidressants led to a hospital stay. They decided I have bipolar II because I couldn't tolerate a 'normal dose' of Prozac even with a benzo.

 

I have an OK pdoc who listens to me and works with me which is rare and I haven't found anyone better. She isn't drug happy which was a 360 from the Drug Nazi I had in the hospital (that was literally the nickname the patients had for her). I've weaned off a very high dose of Seroquel years ago, now I've gone VERY slowly down on benzo with almost a year holding and just started retapering now. I'm almost down to a single wafer dose of .125mg and wanted to get down to that just because it is more convenient to take but I think my ability to handle stress right now is in the toilet so I think I'll probably do the dissolving and removing the mLs etc twice a day. I had zero help with the tapering from my pdoc because she doesn't think I could possibly have withdrawal lowering from such a low dose. Quite obvious she thinks its an emotional thing, a fear thing but to her credit (I guess) she keeps it thinly veiled.

 

I now know that the benzo withddrawal can make wellbutrin withdrawal more difficult but now I read wellbutrin isn't too horrible to withdraw from so maybe it will only be a little hellish? The pdoc suddenly tells me she wants to wean me off of the wellbutrin. I'm sure she will go waaay too fast for me but maybe she'll humor me and go slow because, as she says, I'm "sensitive." Blech! I argued that maybe reducing the lamictal would be better (since it's so toxic) but she said no. Now I see that the wellbutrin is the better first step anyway and that wellbutrin is pretty toxic too apparently!

 

I found the post about withdrawing from wellbutrin which is a goldmine IMO THANK YOU! Right now I take 1 wellbutrin XL 150mL. This tab is rock solid so I don't think cutting it would be possible. From what I'm reading I would want to probably switch to two doses of SR (I have to re-read the info, brain isn't working so great right now). I hope that if I have to I can sneak a very slow taper by telling her I want to hold at a dose for a while (unless she cuts me low right away like she did with the benzo then it won't work) and I can just water taper slowly while she thinks I'm holding.

 

Oh man I feel like crap right now. It's so hard to be a Mom... to be anyone, in withdrawal. I was going so slow and doing OK but then I hit this weird wall suddenly a few days ago. I thought I had screwed up my taper measuring or something but no. I hate being dependent on this crap (all of it not just benzos).

 

Hope you're having a good day!

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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Hi Mom,

 

Welcome to the forum. I hope you don't mind if I drop the 'Crazy' from your username, I don't think you're crazy.

 

Sounds like you have a complicated history, I do too. Lots of medications and confounding complications (Lyme in your case) really muck everything up. Once you have a doctor treating you like a nutjob, it can be virtually impossible to reclaim your health.

 

It sounds like you are trying to take steps to reclaim just that.

 

Congrats and, also, welcome to the forum.

 

For clarification sake, you hadn't been prescribed psychiatric medication and then were tried on SSRIs in a hospital? And then you reacted adversely to the ADs which earned you a bipolar diagnosis and you've subsequently been on a number of medications and now you are tapering? Do you plan to taper them all? How does the Lyme fit in to the timeline? (I'm curious about the Lyme partly b/c I am awaiting Lyme test results myself)

 

Again, welcome.

 

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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  • Administrator

CM, I merged your two topics. Only one Intro topic to a customer.

 

I agree with Alex, I wouldn't call you crazy.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks for saying I'm not crazy but I call myself Crazy in sarcasm in the way that I've been labeled with this. Maybe it kind of loses it's power.

 

I caught Lyme as a teen, was undiagnosed about 5 years barely graduated college then landed in bed crippled having test after test. They decided I had CFS and Fibromyalgia. I had an upswing and pushed ahead. Got a job and a vaccine and that was the end of me. I was totally bedridden. Neurologically destroyed with chronic encephalitis and encephalopathy from the Lyme and 3 other tick diseases. Bartonella is known to make you nuts but so is Lyme so....

 

I was left to rot bedridden and wheelchair bound for another 5 years. I was always hopeful and support from other patients online kept me hanging on. I started aggressive treatment and after two years of oral and IV antibiotics I was on my feet, pain was tolerable, I could read and write again and walk and think.

 

It wasn't until I got cocky and stopped antibiotics (a "break") that my brain melted.

 

This actually leads to my next question of whether ANYONE can be physically sick and have no choice but to use ADs or other psych drugs? Lyme aka borrelia is a cousin to syphilis which also in the late stage attacks the brain and insanity can result. Lyme is known to attack the brain causing ridiculous inflammation and psychiatric symptoms. In fact, there was a paper that reported results of testing of all patients in a psych hospital. Upwards of 75% had a positive test. And the tests SUCK and are often false negative which is why the CDC says it should NOT be based on the test results.

 

Not sure if I should post the question somewhere else because I'm not sure what posts and where posts are intro posts apparently! LOL

 

So, very low dose Prozac with benzo to tolerate it. When it hit the fan as I described above, the Prozac was increased and then I was recording my goodbye video. Off to the hospital and lots and lots of drugs.

 

I hope to get off all the psych drugs but I won't sacrifice my life if I can't function without them for some reason. I will just keep reducing and see what happens. But I am going very slow. I've been tapering the benzo for years. I need to be functional for my special needs daughter (born with Lyme). She has bad psych symptoms from Lyme induced PANS. I treat her with herbs and homeopathy. It is very successful. Her pediatrician offered Zoloft. For a 7 year old. I thought I was going to throw up.

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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"As you're probably aware by now, having a bad reaction to an antidepressant does not mean you're bipolar. It means you're having a bad reaction to an antidepressant." Alto posted this.

 

I have read this many times. About being diagnosed as being bipolar when it is actually a reaction to a medication and we who have tapered meds have felt bipolar because of the ups and downs.

 

Nice to meet you

 

Nikki

Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/

 

Paxil 1997-2004

Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available

at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries

Lexapro 40mgs

Lexapro taper (2years)

Imipramine

Imipramine and Celexa

Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each

45mgs. Serzone  50mgs. Imipramine

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Going to start tapering Wellbutrin XL soon. The problem is that the lowest SR dose is 100mg? Can't do 100mg twice daily because I'm only taking 150mg!

 

It's possible that my pdoc would be tolerant of me getting extra 100mg tabs so I can split a tab to start with 150mg the first week (to adjust to the SR version (I'm very sensitive) and then lower by 25mg per week or so from there. I bet you anything though that she won't and will chop me down 50mg right away. If she does that I would end up having to increase my benzo that I've been tapering off of. I'd also have to have my husband tie me to a chair because I would probably get psycho and suicidal.

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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Thanks for saying I'm not crazy but I call myself Crazy in sarcasm in the way that I've been labeled with this. Maybe it kind of loses it's power.

 

I caught Lyme as a teen, was undiagnosed about 5 years barely graduated college then landed in bed crippled having test after test. They decided I had CFS and Fibromyalgia. I had an upswing and pushed ahead. Got a job and a vaccine and that was the end of me. I was totally bedridden. Neurologically destroyed with chronic encephalitis and encephalopathy from the Lyme and 3 other tick diseases. Bartonella is known to make you nuts but so is Lyme so....

 

I was left to rot bedridden and wheelchair bound for another 5 years. I was always hopeful and support from other patients online kept me hanging on. I started aggressive treatment and after two years of oral and IV antibiotics I was on my feet, pain was tolerable, I could read and write again and walk and think.

 

It wasn't until I got cocky and stopped antibiotics (a "break") that my brain melted.

 

This actually leads to my next question of whether ANYONE can be physically sick and have no choice but to use ADs or other psych drugs? Lyme aka borrelia is a cousin to syphilis which also in the late stage attacks the brain and insanity can result. Lyme is known to attack the brain causing ridiculous inflammation and psychiatric symptoms. In fact, there was a paper that reported results of testing of all patients in a psych hospital. Upwards of 75% had a positive test. And the tests SUCK and are often false negative which is why the CDC says it should NOT be based on the test results.

 

I'm really sorry all of this has happened to you. You've been through the ringer, it sounds to me. I think you must have a strong will for survival as many people would have given up after a nightmare like this.

 

As to your question:

That's up to you. IMO the symptomatic relief provided by SSRIs could probably be accomplished without the SSRIs, though I cant tell you how to do this, it'd take a willingness to experiment. I have heard good things about the cpnhelp forum for chronic illness. I also think Paul Jaminet's health and nutrition blog, perfecthealthdiet has a wealth of information on chronic disease recovery.

 

If it were me, I'd take the medication if there was a massive quality of life improvement on them. However, I didn't have a massive improvement with SSRIs and I'm always curious about how much of other's improvement is simply the absence of the withdrawal symptoms that come on when they reduce or discontinue. It's often hazy, seems to me.

 

The good thing, if there is a good thing, is that you at least get to be the decision maker and have the opportunity to get all the information you can and make the best choice for you.

 

best to you,

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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Saw my pdoc today. She asked me how I was doing and I AM doing well now that the withdrawal has eased up from my tapering but she doesn't want to hear about tapering so I didn't mention it. (As of about two weeks ago I'm holding at slightly less than 0.25mg daily with the water taper.)

 

She didn't mention her suggestion months ago about reducing the wellbutrin so I managed to. She wanted to give me 100mg SR to take daily (I'm taking 150mg XL now). I KNEW she would suggest that. I suggested one 150mg SR that I would cut into two doses and she started saying that it would ruin it if I cut it, etc. I argued and after looking at her little book she relented.

 

Yay! Of course, you don't leave feeling great because you had to stroke their ego and not act intelligent (aka threatening) but that's how you get what you want.

 

I looked at the script when I got home and it says on there "patient desires this form." WTF is that for? So they don't call her cuz it says once per day? She wrote it one tab per day, not 1/2 tab twice daily because she said they would call her if she did that. Just find the note odd. She said "see what the pharmacist says." Know what? I don't give a flying fig what the Walgreens pharmacist thinks as long as they give me what I need. Drug dealers in white coats...

 

Hope to fill my script tomorrow and start at the same dose as I'm on now, just instead using 150mg SR cut in half taken twice daily. After that adjustment, I'll lower it 25mg and pray that the suffering isn't bad. I have an appointment with my naturopathy doc next week to help me pick the homeopathic remedy(ies) to help me cope with acute symptoms that might come up. I think I might already have them because I've been using them here and there for the benzo withdrawal.

 

Hugs!

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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As to your question:

That's up to you. IMO the symptomatic relief provided by SSRIs could probably be accomplished without the SSRIs, though I cant tell you how to do this, it'd take a willingness to experiment. I have heard good things about the cpnhelp forum for chronic illness. I also think Paul Jaminet's health and nutrition blog, perfecthealthdiet has a wealth of information on chronic disease recovery.

 

If it were me, I'd take the medication if there was a massive quality of life improvement on them. However, I didn't have a massive improvement with SSRIs and I'm always curious about how much of other's improvement is simply the absence of the withdrawal symptoms that come on when they reduce or discontinue. It's often hazy, seems to me.

 

The good thing, if there is a good thing, is that you at least get to be the decision maker and have the opportunity to get all the information you can and make the best choice for you.

 

Thanks Alex! Yes, my hope is that if I develop symptoms after withdrawal is done, that the combo of my coping skills and other treatment options besides meds will be good enough. So far, it is working for my daughter for the past 6 years or so.

 

I was thinking on the way to the pdoc actually (getting a bit anxious) that I was very blessed to even have Any medical care, my car, my awesome daughter in the backseat and my awesome husband who takes a long lunch to watch her for me during my appointment. And the Internet has saved my life many times over!

 

:)

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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Started taking the buproprion SR yesterday... One 150mg split in half. Took one at breakfast and the other late dinner. No problems. I'm going to give myself a few days on this new form and then start reducing.

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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I accidentally watched The Silver Lining Playbook last night with my husband. I didn't know what it was about when I got it from the library. As the movie progressed I could feel my stomach turn as it churned up my fears about weaning off medication and relapse... My doubts that it's stupid and I am indeed thinking that I'm just better than other bipolar people thinking I don't need meds. I Do know that I was a mess and after the drugs I wasn't. Well, after I got through withdrawal from the original meds I was on before the hospital and weaned off Seroquel. I was better than I was before the hospital. Or am I just different?

 

My emotional life has been far from great but I do have a life. I'm not in emotional agony every day. I can't bear the thought of going back to that. Some people here have protracted withdrawal which I totally accept as real but at what point are you showing actual symptoms? At what point do you say "ok this isn't withdrawal and it won't just go away with time?" No way do I think that a person should just go back on meds but to know that other things need to be done. Is there needless suffering?

 

My husband seems strange toward me today and I don't think I'm imagining it. I think the movie scared him somehow although he has seen me at my worst, at the deepest depths. I know he's afraid of me going off the meds. Whenever I mention anything about it he clams up. My pdoc is even on board with this but I think she's a dumb A 90% of the time...

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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Realized yesterday that I took a dose of my homeopathic remedy and that's why my anxiety was ramped up. It's all so much worse when you don't know why it's happening! When I'm taking the correct remedy (which is all the time now that I use a pro) I always get an aggravation of the symptoms it is treating... Or rather the dis-ease it's healing. Why can't I remember this!? Because my brain is fried from psych drugs an withdrawal that's why!

 

Also had some other symptoms including ongoing skin rashes that came out when I started the remedy. Those keep flaring every dose too. Less severe now. Some abdominal 'menstrual like' cramping which is kind of new but i am taking a new potency. All part of what the remedy treats. I had to look it up to check. I don't take it again until next week. I already feel better and i'll feel back to normal in a couple of days. It's great that I'm getting better but UGH!!

 

My daughter gets hit with her aggravation too which is waves of depression for a couple of days. I hate to see it but I know she's healing and I just try to help her 'ride it out.' The waves are 'only' about 15-30 mins long but that's too long. In the past she was a mess all day, every day with severe anxiety and depression. To hear your six year old beg to die is unreal. (I've NEVER said anything like that in her presence EVER.) Glad it's gone in a couple of days for her too but I have to give it to her again on Friday. :-(

 

Unfortunately this is a no pain no gain situation. But to know from experience that this relatively minor suffering is actually PRODUCTIVE? That makes ALL the difference. I suffered horribly through the Lyme die off via antibiotics but knowing that I was killing off the bacteria that had taken 10 years of my life made it so tolerable! Knowing that when i feel crappy that I'm in withdrawal (or healing) makes this more tolerable too.

 

<3

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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  • Administrator

Please do not allow a fiction like that film to frighten you. Many pop culture products conform to the idea that medications are the answer.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Please do not allow a fiction like that film to frighten you. Many pop culture products conform to the idea that medications are the answer.

 

Yes, it's everywhere. Until you look behind the curtain and see the real $tory. The Wonderful Wizard of Billion Dollar Profits. That kind of money can buy a lot of magazine articles/advertisements/TV commercials/fancy seminars for physicians, etc. The culture is awash with it.

 

I highly recommend you read Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker. It's extremely informative about the history of psychiatric drugs and how things got this way. And it's not harsh and angry at all, he's actually a teddy bear, a very compassionate sweet man.

 

As is Will Hall. If you haven't read any of his stuff, it's a must. He wrote the Harm Reduction Guide to Coming Off Psychiatric Drugs; if you Google it you'll find the site where you can download the PDF. He's a sweetie too. You'd probably enjoy reading and hearing his stuff. I always do.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                   1

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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Thanks so much... Yeah I have a long history dealing with the medical system here in the US and how it's pushed by profits. And the docs and nurses who really care are brainwashed into believing they're doing the right thing..

 

Thanks for the reading recommendations. I know a little about the history but not much. I always feel better when I research something even if it would seem to be a negative thing. I hate not knowing about something. I think reading about the history of the psych business will make me angry but I prefer that to feeling insecure and unnerved.

 

Not feeling too fabulous today. When I cut my SR tablet in half there are a lot of crumbs. Not a clean cut... Could missing those little bits trigger withdrawal? I thought buproprion isn't as bad as something like a benzo where the tiniest crumbs can mean the difference between withdrawal and a nightmare...?

 

My second thought is that this is the onset of symptoms from just switching to the SR even though it's the same dose. It's delivered differently. Is it too much for me the way it's being delivered? I guess technically I'm taking the same dose but it's just not a smooth all day delivery like on the XL.

 

I wish a printout would come out of my mouth giving me a brain report so I'd have an idea of what is going on.

 

Well, back to my kava tea. Only reason everything in my house hasn't been destroyed!

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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  • 2 months later...

Here I am basically 2 months since starting, and I'm finishing up my Buproprion taper.

 

I started at 150XL daily so I switched to one 150 SR tablet that I cut into two doses. Shaking my brain loose from it's cobwebs was a little bumpy but a f'in breeze compared to the benzo taper (that is currently on hold).

 

The worst withdrawal symptoms from the Buproprion reduction were the anger outbursts and the occasional headache. I DID go slowly. Maybe slower than most. The most difficult thing was trying hard to keep my tablet cuts the same or similar day to day. I would split the tab with a pill splitter (eventually twice to make quarters) and then I used an XActo knife to chip away. What a pain in the arse.

 

Now each dose is a teeny little chip I can barely hold. I know that I'm nervous about stopping it but I'm taking such a small amount.

 

I am totally exhausted. I'm falling asleep and sleeping during the day. Not like me. I don't remember if this is part of Buproprion withdrawal or not!

 

Hope all are having a good day!

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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  • Administrator

Thanks for the update, Crazymom. The other meds you're taking may be causing the sleepiness. Good to hear the bupropion taper went well.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Thanks for the update, Crazymom. The other meds you're taking may be causing the sleepiness. Good to hear the bupropion taper went well.

Oh yeah! I remember I was wondering if that would happen when I was off the Buproprion! Now my question is which med should I do next?I take Lithium, Lamictal and Klonopin.. I stopped the klonopin taper because I agree it seems logical that it would be better to have it in my system while removing an AD. What is the generally accepted idea on which should go next? From the little I've read so far, it seems that the Lamictal is difficult to get off of but does that mean I should keep the remaining benzo and lithium while I taper it or taper off those and then deal with the Lamictal? I take less than 0.25mg daily right now of Klonopin...Thanks!"SleepyMom"

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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  • Administrator

You might try reducing the lamotrigine very carefully and see if that helps the sleepiness. See http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1122-tips-for-tapering-off-lamictal-lamotrigine/

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 6 months later...

Hi all! I have tapered the benzo down to one 0.125mg daily. I used water to dissolve the wafers and remove mLs slowly. Now I'm down to a whole wafer dose daily (but I split it AM/PM via water). Not sure if I should continue the benzo taper right now and get off that or go after the lamictal now. I sleep lightly now and wake up quite a bit and my ND suggests it could be the lamotrigine doing it. I agree because I don't think lithium would be doing that? Maybe I'm wrong. I take the lamictal in the morning btw.

 

Recently, I went off continuous BCPs which I wasn't planning on doing until I was off these meds but I had to leave the ob/gyn doc at the last minute basically. (Using other methods obviously.) BUT major major hormonal insanity started. I did not expect such an explosion of anxiety and also paranoia which is totally new to me. Wow does it ever suck. But I got my period and I was fine. Then PMS came back in the next cycle (last two weeks of it) and insanity again but not so bad. ND doc has me on some supplements to detox the estrogen overload and this cycle so far I'm OK but not my normal. I think the worst is behind me on this.

 

But this got me thinking. Not only were hormones the (now) obvious cause of my severe PPD w major anxiety (made majorly worse by the SSRIs they put me on), I wondered how much my hormones had caused a lot of my psych stuff over the years. No one even ASKED about this. Hey, just throw some meds at her (and then take them away suddenly and add new and more, and then when her brain melts down completely, label her bipolar and then dump major meds on her.) If someone had just dropped me into a vat of progesterone cream or even gave me a toxic shot of the chemical kind! And I do remember someone mentioning a depo provera shot for PPD. Why didn't anyone offer this or really offer anything? Why do I ask questions like this when it's a waste of time?? Anyhoo...

 

So which is it folks? Finish the benzo (it will take a while cuz i'm uber sensitive)? Lamictal? Lithium next? Speaking of lithium... Has anyone ever had a mild surge of anxiety or nervousness really about the time the lithium hits their system? I take 600mg at night and I could swear that's what I've felt....?

 

I also want to mention that using homeopathic remedies through a knowledgeable naturopathic doc has been a huge help. I got a remedy made for the benzo and it really took the edge off of the withdrawal so I could speed it up. I have one for lamictal too. I hope everyone will open their mind and consider this and look into it. You could even make a remedy of the med yourself. It's not hard to do but you must do it correctly.

 

Thanks dear ones. I hope you're having one of the good days today. 

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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I am also a "bipolar on meds" person. I took Prozac for a long time, but Cymbalta and Wellbutrin made me really crazy. I just started tapering lithium, cut 100mg and did have anxiety, nausea, etc. Regrouped now to water solution and 50 mg cuts. For me, the lithium stopped the anxiety I had which I now think was Cymbalta withdrawal. It decreases glutamate, which opposes GABA, so the lithium WD can feel like the benzo withdrawal.

 

I had major issues after I went off Zyprexa, then Wellbutrin, which were from changes in drug metabolism and unmasking of side effects. I am now a big fan of frequent, small doses and concurrent tapering to try to keep everything balanced as I slowly untangle it.

 

Since everything else has gone wrong, have you looked at all into methylation issues? Some aspects of it can affect sex hormones, particularly COMT. I have to admit I don't understand much, but I think it is important. There is a thread here entitled The Importance of Methylation, but it does not really go beyond MTHF?

 

Really wishing you the best!

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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I've had bad reaction to two antidepressants and doctor mentioned Bi-polar....seriously how can they diagnose these serious conditions from a bad reaction from an drug? Doctor kept me on the second....I will never forgive him for that.

 

I wish you all the best on your journey. You will get all the help and support from these guys.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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Oh and the only time I ever suffered with depression (mild) was after having my children. Oh and while being on an antidepressant!????

 

I have no doubt PPD is down to hormones.

I read about a 'celebrity' here in the uk who suffered for a very long time with depression after having her son. She found a very good doctor in London who provided her with a hormone cream as she was very low in one particular hormone.

 

Her depression almost instantly lifted.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

Link to comment

Thank you Muddles! This isn't the first time methylation has been suggested to me. I guess I'll have to look into it won't I? :-)

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

Link to comment

Want to gather some opinions... Should I finish the benzo taper then go after Lamictal or start tapering the lamictal now? Will the benzo keep the lamictal withdrawal from possibly being excruciatingly horrible? Thanks!

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

Link to comment

The general guidelines here are to save the benzo for last. But I don't know...as I told you I am doing lithium and benzo together.

 

Here is a link to an article on methylation that mentions Lyme....and I can't get it to work. I think you could google Suzy Cohen methylation Lyme.

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

Link to comment
  • Administrator

Want to gather some opinions... Should I finish the benzo taper then go after Lamictal or start tapering the lamictal now? Will the benzo keep the lamictal withdrawal from possibly being excruciatingly horrible? Thanks!

 

What is your benzo schedule? How long have you been continuously on a benzo?

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 months later...

Hello... I'm continuing my benzo taper. I'm water tapering using .025mg wafers. Right now I'm taking .0185mg total daily split morning and night. I haven't been consistant but I've averaged 1mL reduction per week (equal to .0005mg if I'm doing the math right.) I know everyone's different but I was wondering what most people do.. what dose most people stop at. I wish I could just stop it completely right now but I know that if I speed up the reduction I get sick so stopping completely might be too much. It's hard to know!

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

This is something people always face at the end of a taper--when should I just quit? I think you're on track, if you know that 0.0005 mg reductions are still hitting you hard then you may need to get lower before you step off.

I've only stepped all the way off one med so far (Neurontin) and I stopped it at the same increment I had been reducing by towards the end, 0.5 mg. 

 

And big congratulations on your successful taper so far, you're doing great, good for you!

 

Oh, PS, if you'll tell me what dose of wafer (1 mg, 2 mg?) you are dissolving in what volume of water (10 mL, 20 mL, whatever) I can double check your math if you like.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                   1

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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  • Administrator

Might be a good idea to do a long hold before making that final drop.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

Link to comment

Might be a good idea to do a long hold before making that final drop.

Makes sense thank you!

Lamotrigine 150mg
Lithium ER 600mg
clonazepam 3mg   0.0185mg (water taper)

Buproprion XL 150mg

Seroquel 200mg

I've been taking drugs for "bipolar II" for about 9 years after post partum depression led to a med merry-go-round nightmare of meds and side effects which flipped me out and led to major drugging. Homeopathy has been amazing for me, Bach flowers, occastionally herbs, vitamins/minerals and meditation. I have a chronic disease which is known to cause psychiatric illness too and when my treatment of the disease has stopped in the past, the psych stuff has raged. I'm much healthier now (and more respectful of my disease) and more knowledgeable. I've been weaning off of clonazepam for years and have had a very hard time with the physical withdrawal symptoms plus the need to balance that with raising a young daughter.

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