SigmundFreud's story

[SigmundFreud]

chronic mild depression anxious type. irritable in elementary school due to dysfunctional family. 

i knew i was depressive since high school but only went to a shrink around age 32 due to financial constraints and life troubles. 

there is some genetic predisposition i guess when i saw psychiatric disorders in some relatives but i know much of it came from our dysfunctional family. 

father was a deficient figure. i was very reluctant to take lexapro that my shrink prescribed me in 2011 but dec 2012 i finally gave in. 

I tried my best to fight depression/anxiety naturally. meditation, 5htp, tyrosine, rhodiola, piracetam, etc ive experimented with many supplements. they seemed to help 

but my research was scattered and sloppily done so i wasnt able to make a comprehensive program that made a real breakthrough.

 

i took lexapro intermittently with doses as low as 1/3 of a 5mg tablet to as high as 12.5mg in the following months until last dose was 2.5mg aug10 2013. 

I had paranoia/extreme anxiety after more than a week of my last dose of 7.5mg on june7 when i ran out of samples and the next batch had a delay. 

i already had an issue of fear of the bad people in the workplace doing illegal stuff. but it was amplified by the W/D i think. 

i resumed 2.5 mg starting july7 until aug10 and i had been med free since then. my anxiety improved but i was agitated on aug10 

thats why i decided to stop when i read that agitation is correlated with the suicidality of AD patients. 

 

I used the Mood Cure by julia ross in this period and I think it really helped me. my symptoms improved when i followed the high protein, 

with some saturated fats, and low to nothing on refined starches and sugars as recommended by the Mood Cure. but when i tried licorice i had palpitations and 

i was scared i was about to get a stroke. i went to ER and they prescribed me propranolol to help the palpitations. 

i did some researched and it was confirmed by an endo-internist that the licorice could have this temporary effect of overamping your adrenal hormones adrenaline and cortisol. i also had high cholesterol which was foun to be common with those with panic attacks/anxiety. i adjusted my diet to lower my cholesterol and the palpitations and panic attacks were gone. Now i sometimes have insomnia which i treat with sleepasil which seems to work. now i fear that i have morphed into cyclothymic type since i was already seeing signs that i might be on the weak end of the bipolar symptoms since i was young.

 

Thats my brief summary. Im glad i found this forum and i hope i will learn a lot from you guys and also contribute to help others in whatever way. thank you.

 

 

 

[Petunia]

Hi SF,

 

Welcome to our forum and thank you for posting an introduction.  It sounds like you could be experiencing some withdrawal effects from discontinuing Lexapro too fast.  How long were you taking it for?  What symptoms are you having now?

 

From what I gather from your post, your last dose was 2.5mg two months ago (in August).  Its sometimes possible to reinstate a small amount to relieve symptoms, become stable on that and then start a slower taper.

 

Perhaps 1mg would help, but at 2 months off, it may or may not work.  Instructions for tapering Lexapro are here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/406-tips-for-tapering-off-lexapro-escitalopram/?hl=lexapro

 

It sounds like you are taking a lot of supplements, sometimes in withdrawal, these can cause adverse effects and make symptoms worse, please have a look at our topic on supplements, herbs and treatments here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/606-important-topics-about-tests-supplements-herbs-treatments/

 

Also, when you get a chance, please put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature, it helps members to quickly understand your situation and be able to offer help,  instructions are here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

You will find a lot of friendly support here, please keep us updated of your progress.

 

Petu.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Sigmund.

 

Yes, your symptoms could be due to withdrawal.

 

A healthy diet and supplements might help. Licorice can indeed be a problem because it can be activating. What you want to do is keep your system calm.

 

If you are ingesting caffeine, you may wish to stop doing this. Caffeine can also be activating.

 

Many people do well with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

There is no "weak end of the bipolar spectrum." This is a nonsensical diagnosis. See http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/matter-personality/201204/how-recognize-bad-psychiatrist

 

Please try not to diagnose yourself with a psychiatric ailment; this is demoralizing. Rather, take care of yourself by bringing good feelings and experiences into your life. If your job is stressful, think about ways to lessen the stress, even find a new job. Meditation is good, too, to give your nervous system a temporary rest.

 

Often, emotional pain is a sign that something is hurting us and needs to be changed.

[SigmundFreud]

First of all thanks to Alto and Petu for the replies. Im so glad i found this forum. Great job Alto for this site and others like Petu for your support to others experiencing psych med withdrawals. I seem to be improving slowly as described by the waves and windows theory. My problem now is i get to sleep at around 8-10 pm and i wake up at around 2-3am. I had good results using sleepasil for a few weeks already whenever i feel like i need it. It has

 

Calcium Carbonate – 40 mg

Magnesium Oxide – 30 mg

Valerian Root – 100 mg

Hops – 75 mg

Skullcap – 75 mg

Chamomile – 75 mg

Passion Flower – 50 mg

Melatonin – 3 mg

Wild Jujube Seed Extract – 100 mg 

 

I want to try Seriphos (phosphorylated serine) as mentioned in "The Mood Cure" and some threads here. Im confused because The Mood Cure says its not the same as the more readily available phosphatidyl serine. But some thread here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3782-phosphatydilserine-aka-phosphatidyl-serine-seriphos-or-cortiphos/?hl=seriphos

Alto mentioned phosphatidyl serine as Seriphos? A nearby local supplement store has phosphorylated serine but they dont have phosphatidyl serine. are they really the same or not? 

 

Im also waiting for D-Phenylalanine I ordered from ebay which is supposed to increase my low supply of endorphins. What can you guys say about these? Thanks so much and any inputs will be of great help and very much appreciated. More power to this site and i hope i can also contribute here in my own little way to help others suffering from psych med withdrawals. 

[Petunia]

I tried Seriphos for its cortisol lowering effects, but found it caused more symptoms than it relieved.  While I was taking it I was getting less sleep, not more.  But it did lower my night time cortisol levels slightly, enough so that when I was asleep, I slept better, didn't wake up every hour with heat and sweating, but in general I found it to be too stimulating so I wasn't able to fall asleep as easily.  My sleep has improved over time now and I'm getting about 8-9 hours with very little waking up.

 

There are a few members here who have written that they have been helped by Seriphos or phosphatidyl serine, but just as many have written that it didn't help or caused more problems.

 

This article from ProHealth website explains the difference:

http://forums.prohealth.com/forums/index.php?threads/is-there-any-difference-between-seriphos-and-phosphatidyldsrine.182334/

 

I spent hundreds on various herbal/amino/vitamin formulas which were supposed to reduced some of the many symptoms I was having, most things I tried didn't make any difference at all, some things actually made me feel worse, nothing has turned out to help in any significant or obvious way, although I do still take magnesium and fish oil because it might be helping and it doesn't seem to cause any extra problems.

 

It takes a while to understand that what we have going on here isn't 'normal' anxiety, depression, sleep disruption, pain and whatever else.  Subsequently, normal treatments generally don't work, and often have paradoxical effects.

 

It might help to read this topic about how various supplements/herbs/treatments relate to our unique withdrawal situation:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/606-important-topics-about-tests-supplements-herbs-treatments/

 

If your symptoms are being caused by Lexapro withdrawal, then you might have to wait until you have fully recovered from that before treatments like 'The Mood Cure' actually have a chance of helping with your original anxiety/depression.  Of course this is just my opinion and I hope you do find something which helps, please let us know if you do.

[SigmundFreud]

hi guys and thanks for the replies. my wave now consists of insomnia and low moods. im rotating tiny doses of d-phenylalanine, st. johns wort, 5-htp for low moods and they do help. last night i tried a very little amount of beer and i was able to sleep from 10pm-2am. i figured i am no longer as sensitized as i was during the first 1-2 months of withdrawal. i also experimented with 125-500 mg of paracetamol for emotional pain and it seems to help me sleep too. any thoughts? and based on my short, intermittent and relatively low-dose of lexapro, and my age is only 34, i would like to think i would heal more quickly. i have read in some AD withdrawal blog that most people improve at around 8-9 moths off. i would love to hear some thoughts. thanks to you all in advance and i hope you are all doing well in your recovery. love and compassion to all..

[SigmundFreud]

update guys. some very good improvements. i had around 6 hours of sleep today from 7pm-2am in 3 segments with maybe 15 minutes in between. the other night i had 2 segments totalling 3hrs. it started to get worse this november until a day when i only had 2 segments of less than 1hr each totalling maybe less than 2hrs of sleep near dawn. i really hope this wave is over.

 

yesterday morning i took a tiny amount of d-phenylalanine 50-75mg to get me through the low moods. i took fish oil around 4pm, 375mg paracetamol and ate some almonds and cashews. i felt better and went to my friend and we had a walk. i dont know i just felt good and thankful to god and hoped this is a start of better days. i told myself if there will be more waves its okay at least i had some relief and it adds hope in recovery. thanks guys any inputs will help a lot. just hang on everyone love, compassion and peace to all!

[SigmundFreud]

update again. last night i fell asleep past 7pm and woke up 12:30 am. then had 2 more segments of about 1 hour each. i walked around late afternoon-early evening i think its really helping. i also took less than 100mg of phosphatidylserine around early-mid afternoon i guess it helped me get some sleep. but like someone mentioned here in some thread, it seemed to make me anhedonic. my waves now consists of low moods and insomnia. anxiety is mild. i just find it hard to tolerate even small amounts of stress in any activities. any ideas, inputs, tips will be gratly appreciated. thanks all and just hang in there and keep going.

[Petunia]

Hi Sigmund,

Thank you for the update,

 

Its sounds like you are getting quite a lot of sleep, and that's good.  I often fall asleep early and then wake up after a few hours, but then go back to sleep again.  I don't think we need to get all our sleep in one solid block.

 

A decreased ability to handle stress is common in withdrawal, just do what you can to minimize stress, including activities which cause it, if possible. Perhaps avoid certain people, violent TV shows and movies for a while.  Calming activities are better.

 

Petu.

[SigmundFreud]

thanks for the tips and words of encouragement Petu. How are you doing so far in your own recovery journey?

 

my appetite is also back. but im scared that i will go through the worsening of insomnia and loss of appetite. and now also anhedonia/very low mood possibly caused by trying a small amount of phosphatidylserine complex again. from my short lexapro history and age (34) will it be likely that i will recover fast? for 6 months i used lexapro intermittently and from doses ranging from as low as 1.5mg to as high as 12.5mg. i had paranoia and severe anxiety when i went cold turkey this june 2013. i would like to think that i would have a shorter timeline for recovery and i am praying to god/cosmos to be kind to us all fellow psych med withdrawal sufferers.

[Petunia]

Thanks for asking about my recovery, its taking longer than I would like, but I've had a very long history with these meds and a lot of stress which continued for years, so for me, its not unexpected.

 

I think you will recover much faster, and you seem to be doing better.  Sometimes symptoms do come back for a while, but then go away again,  often when they come back they are not as intense and don't last as long. 

 

We have a topic about this pattern, its called The Windows and Waves Pattern of Recovery, you might find it helpful:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/82-the-windows-and-waves-pattern-of-recovery/

 

I've tried using Seriphos twice, which is similar to phosphatidylserine, for me, it also causes depression.  For me the bad effects from it were worse than the small benefit I got from it, so I'm not taking it any more.  You have to decide if the benefit outweighs the disadvantage.

 

Try not to worry about symptoms coming back, if they do they will pass again and eventually go away for ever.

 

Petu.

[SigmundFreud]

yeah i have read about waves and windows before. looking at your signature it was really a long history with psych meds and i hope you are managing WD well. like you i also use propranolol and xanor as needed. some say propranolol allows you to use less xanor so thats a good thing. i also use very small amounts of st.johns wort, d-phenylalanine, 5-htp, tyrosine for low moods. i also use theanine, GABA, cal/mag/zinc+d3 mineral/vitamin formula, fish oil, vit.c, b-complex. I also flush with niacin and i found it helpful when i went several days with just 2-4 hours of sleep per day. I know there are already threads about these stuff but i just want to ask what supp you did and how they worked for you since you are the one active on this thread at the moment. Thanks a lot Petu and everyone who really extend help to those who need them here. 

[Petunia]

 I know there are already threads about these stuff but i just want to ask what supp you did and how they worked for you since you are the one active on this thread at the moment. Thanks a lot Petu and everyone who really extend help to those who need them here. 

 

 

Before I found this site and realized I was having protracted withdrawal, I spend hundreds on various supplements and herbs and formulas for all the symptoms I was having.  Too many to list.  I've got 2 shopping bags full of all the stuff I tried, which didn't work, and often made me feel worse.

 

I think it was St Johns Wort which contributed to my nervous system finally 'crashing' in Nov 2011.  I had been taking it for a week, along with my ADD meds and then I ate a lot of turkey.  I had what I now realize is serotonin syndrome, I was never the same again since that weekend.

 

I tried GABA, thinking it would be a non-addictive alternative to Xanax.  It seemed to help for a day or two, but then it didn't.  I figured it must have been a placebo effect.  Then I later learned that GABA, as a supplement doesn't even cross the blood/brain barrier.

 

There's actually more to my medical history which wouldn't fit in my signature, I've taken other relevant medications over the last 15 years, which have probably contributed to a weakening of my nervous system.

 

My situation is very complex, so really, I don't think anyone can apply too much of my experience to their own, maybe parts, but not all.

 

Now, all I take is Magnesium Citrate 200mg, twice a day.  Vitamin C 1000mg and CoQ10 100mg.  I was taking omega 3 fish oil, stopped and started that several times, I seem to feel better without it.

 

Its really difficult to know what has helped with recovery apart from time and just trying to eliminate as much stress as possible from my life, which is difficult because along with withdrawal, I have PTSD, so I'm easily triggered because of that too.

 

I've eliminated alcohol, sugar (most sugar), artificial sweeteners and caffeine.  In the afternoon, I can sometimes have a very weak cup of tea without any adverse effects.  I've been a tea drinker my whole life, ever since about age 5, it was sort of a family thing.  But as an adult, I added coffee and would usually drink between 2 - 4 cups of proper coffee a day, I also drank a lot of diet coke or diet pepsi for years, so eliminating caffeine for me has been a big change.

 

Please be careful with the supplements, a strong, healthy nervous system responds differently from one  destabilized by withdrawal, everything we put into our body can cause unexpected reactions.  But if you feel something you are taking is helping, without it causing any adverse effects, then I would say keep taking it.

[SigmundFreud]

thanks again Petu i might try Magnesium Citrate and CoQ10 too. I have cal/mag/zinc+d3 but Alto said d3 can be activating or stimulating at night so i will try magnesium only next time. 

 

update again. my wd symptoms seem to change quickly. is it an indication that im healing faster? i took niacin again last night and i tried to flush but i didnt. i think i took around 700-800mg and decided to stop there. last time i flushed at around 500. before that it was 250-350 and initially i flushed right away at 100-150. anyone knowledgeable about niacin flushing here? is there such a thing as tolerance to the flush? experts say the flush is an indication of saturation and therefore a sign that you had taken enough. i was able to sleep from midnight to 4am with an interruption in between but i was able to fall back asleep! so it really looks like the niacin is helping the insomnia.

 

but i had morning anxiety with fast heartbeat after i had a dream that seemed to symbolize some of the problems at work and life that caused a lot of my recent troubles/issues. i dont know if it was the cold room at 25 degrees Celsius could maybe caused it or it contributed to the sudden morning anxiety. i never had this symptom before. i felt cold i took a jacket and a blanket and went to the living room. i read some threads here while listening to some relaxing music trying to calm down without using xanor. i took 10mg propranolol, the a little later some l-theanine and some magnesium and the anxiety was relieved. i really hope i heal soon. interestingly, the anxiety really seemed only physical as i was clear-headed  when i woke up. it was like i was really mindful and in control of what was happening. i really think niacin is helping by conserving tryptophan in the body as what some experts say. peace and calm to all! 

[Altostrata]

See http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/603-what-is-antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome/

 

Magnesium glycinate is better than citrate if you can get it.

 

Also see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/33-early-morning-waking-with-panic-or-anxiety/

[SigmundFreud]

Thanks Alto and Petu. I think I am now having RLS which i think is caused by alprazolam withdrawal/dependence? or is is from the ssri withdrawal? for the past 2 weeks my average consumption of xanor is about 200mcg per day. could it be causing it? i have a somewhat tingling, electrical sensations in my lower limbs and left arm.

 

i slept from 7pm to 2am last night with the help of low dose niacin before i went to bed and everytime i wake up in the middle of the night. i noticed this tingling sensations occur at the early hours in the mornings when i could no longer go back to sleep. i also feel a bit restless. will proranolol help this? im worried about alprazolam addiction even at my low dosage and i want to ask my doc to give me the longer-acting valium to help me quit using benzo. 

 

im scared about this now. please help. thank you all and i hope god showers us all with love and mercy.

[Altostrata]

I would try the magnesium glycinate before propanolol.

[Meimeiquest]

Is this an upsetting time in your city with the recent national tragedy?

 

I would really recommend you get the e- book Xanax Withdrawal by Stuart Shipko MD before you switch to Valium. I think someday that switch will be seen as something the early pioneers did, but was replaced with other options.

 

I started metoprolol, very similar to propranolol, when my blood pressure spiked (I was also anxious, but that was not a new thing). Now It is proving to be just as hard to withdraw from as a psych drug. I really think increasing the dose of a drug you're on will be better for you in the long run than adding in new chemicals. But finding natural solutions is even better. And sometimes we just endure insomnia.

[SigmundFreud]

Thanks Alto and Meimei. I think i only had a few chunks of short sleep last night for maybe 1-2 hrs its hard to tell exactly. Like someone who posted here somewhere, i seem to have long hours of sleep every other night alternating with 2 hours sleep the following day. im really worried about my condition now. i went from 165lbs to 145lbs now within six months of my cold turkey of lexapro. due to inconsistent appetite and insomnia. how long do i have to endure this? i dont want to be dependent on xanor and im considering going back to lexapro. what do you guys think? 

[Altostrata]

We mentioned reinstatement above.

 

Lexapro may or may not welcome you back. You may never find a magic drug combination that will make you feel well again.

[SigmundFreud]

im sorry im too messed up.. i stopped lexapro after reinstating it for a month at 2.5 because of the agitation. my doc wants me to reinstate lexapro with an AP for the agitation and a mood stabilizer for the supposed manic effect of lexapro to me. would prozac be a good switch here? or just reinstate lexapro at lower than 2.5mg? any advice? pls im desperate.. no appetie and no sleep i feel like my health will faill if i dont do anything soon enough.. thank you all.. lord guide us all.. 

[Altostrata]

2.5mg was agitating? What are your current symptoms?

[SigmundFreud]

yes i think i am too sensitive. i reinstated 2.5mg for 1month from july7-aug10 2013 and had to stop because of the agitation. currently i am alternating between nights with about 5-7 hours of sleep and other nights where i get as low as 1-3 hours. on nights that i sleep 5-7 hrs,  sleep is also segmented, starting from early evening, and waking up at around 12midnight-2am unable to go back to sleep. i am also experiencing anhedonia. 

[Petunia]

i stopped lexapro after reinstating it for a month at 2.5 because of the agitation. my doc wants me to reinstate lexapro with an AP for the agitation and a mood stabilizer for the supposed manic effect of lexapro to me.

 

If I were you, I would stay away from your doctor, or find a new one who will support you coming off medication, rather than adding more.

 

The symptoms you mention of trouble sleeping, no appetite and anhedonia, are very common in early withdrawal.  You are getting a good amount of sleep every other night, and that's good, it might not be pleasant, but you will survive and as your nervous system slowly recovers, sleep will improve.

 

Have a look at this topic about symptoms, which includes a section on sleep for some ideas:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/604-important-topics-about-symptoms-including-sleep-problems/

 

Its possible to eat when you don't feel like it, just plan to eat small, healthy meals at regular times of the day if you are losing too much weight.  I had to do this for about a year.  I had no appetite and was loosing a lot of weight, so I had to remind myself to eat.  I didn't enjoy it, but I did it.  Even now, its been over 2 years and I still have appetite problems.  It comes and goes in waves.

 

Sleep is good for me now, but for the first 6 - 8 months I wasn't getting much, like you, I would sleep for an hour or two, then wake up and not be able to get back to sleep.  Sometimes I couldn't get to sleep at all, it was a mess, but it got better.  Now I sleep on average about 8 hours a night, but I still wake up during the night sometimes.

 

I still have anhedonia, this seems to be one of last symptoms to disappear in many people.  If you read through the stories of other people, you will find that these symptoms you are having are common in withdrawal and can last for several months, sometimes longer.  There are no easy answers apart from time, acceptance of the symptoms and doing what you can to reduce stress so that the body can heal.

 

Reinstatement and a slower taper can sometimes reduce the symptoms, but it seems like that may not be possible for you.

 

If 2.5mg was too much, perhaps 1.25mg would work, but that's just a guess and your decision.

 

I tried taking a small amount of Prozac after being off medication for over a year and it had a very bad effect.  Then I tried reinstating a small amount of Lexapro, which was what I was on before, I felt even worse and became suicidal.  Once a nervous system becomes unstable, almost everything can have unexpected results.

 

All of the supplements you have been trying and your irregular use of Xanax and Propranalol have most likely contributed to even more destabilization.  I did exactly the same thing before finding this site, I was trying all kinds of things to get some symptom relief, not realizing that I was making things worse in the long run.  I know its difficult, we are taught by our culture that if we have discomfort, then we need to do something or take something to fix it, asap.  And there is always someone willing to sell us something.

 

But unfortunately, there is no quick fix for withdrawal from these drugs.  You might find reading back through your thread helpful.

 

You will recover in time, just not as fast as you would like.

[SigmundFreud]

Thanks again Petu. what Im really worried about now is that suicidal thoughts are becoming more persistent and I am really scared about it..

 

my doc knows i really didnt like to medicate from the beginning. unfortunately i finally gave in and here i am.. he lets me decide if i want to continue meds or not. also, i was able to arrange with him a very low consultation fee since were from the same university and i told him about my financial situation. there is a high consultation fee for shrinks from where i am and i am not so financially well-off. 

 

i lost my job, my mom supports me and my 2 kids for now. my wifes parents helps us financially too. i have this feeling that i lost everything. i dont want to give up i want to grow old with the kids, wife and my family and my wifes family. i just dont know how to start im feeling hopeless. a lot of this can be traced to my traumatic early life experiences i know.. i hope god gives me a chance to get through this and enjoy life once more no matter how simple.. compassion and love to all fellow sufferers out there..

[Petunia]

I'm sorry you are feeling so hopeless at the moment, I know how hard it can be when bad things happen for no reason, I also have lost so much of what was my life... marriage, home, studies, business, hopes for the future.  But we keep going, if not for ourselves, then for those who love and need us.

 

Thoughts of suicide are also a common symptom of withdrawal,  are you scared of the thoughts, or scared you will act on the thoughts?  Sometimes as part of withdrawal, people experience unusual and shocking thoughts which seem to come from somewhere else, it can be very frightening to suddenly be having thoughts which we know are not part of who we are.

 

I went through a stage of not wanting to be alive any more and it seemed like the only reason I kept going was because I didn't want to cause any pain or suffering for my daughter and family. 

 

Try not to let those thoughts worry you,  unless you are planning on acting on them.  There is a thread where members are discussing thoughts of suicide in withdrawal, you may find it helpful:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4678-suicide-ideation/?hl=%2Bsuicidal+%2Bideation#entry58265

 

Sometimes, when I find myself feeling hopeless and sorry for myself, instead of thinking about what I have lost, I think about what I have.  There are always people who have less.  You have the support of your family to help you and your children through this difficult time, some people don't have this.

 

It sounds like you have a supportive religion in your life, perhaps you could find more strength there.

 

Keep posting here if you find it helps, you will get through this and have a future with your family.

[SigmundFreud]

I am not planning on acting on them but the thoughts are becoming more graphic like driving the car and bumping it somewhere, bleeding the wrist, etc. Iv been a scared person all my life and i knew all along i would never do it to myself. im just disturbed because i might slip into it now that my brain is in a different state because of wd. i just need to feel better thats why im seriously considering reinstating maybe 1mg of lexapro? iv read from here and other forums that 4months off its not certain if reinstating will be of help. i just need to be able to hang on to this no matter what. i just want it to be bearable. maybe ill just get used to it like im a little used to alternating days of longer sleep and almost no sleep.. god please have mercy on us sufferers.. 

[Petunia]

Please let us know if you decide to try 1mg

[Altostrata]

SF, please take up the practice of "changing the channel." You can manage those thoughts instead of focusing on them. See http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/846-change-the-channel-dealing-with-cognitive-symptoms/

[SigmundFreud]

Thanks again Petu and Alto. Would it be okay to try a really tiny bit of lexapro something like 0.25 mg and see how it goes? from what i know i have to work it up slowly for a few days to have therpeutic effect. if i try a single dose only and decided to stop will it hamper my drug-free-route recovery? 

[Altostrata]

Sure, you could try .25mg. That might even be enough.

[SigmundFreud]

Thanks Alto. If say i tried that tiny dose of 0.25 (1/4mg) and didnt like it and stopped taking, will that affect my AD-free recovery in a big way?

[Altostrata]

Probably not. If you have a bad reaction, it won't last long.

[Altostrata]

What happened to the 5-HTP, GABA, low dose Xanor (Alprazolam) and Propranolol (Inderal)?

yes i think i am too sensitive. i reinstated 2.5mg for 1month from july7-aug10 2013 and had to stop because of the agitation. currently i am alternating between nights with about 5-7 hours of sleep and other nights where i get as low as 1-3 hours. on nights that i sleep 5-7 hrs,  sleep is also segmented, starting from early evening, and waking up at around 12midnight-2am unable to go back to sleep. i am also experiencing anhedonia.

After reading the above, I think I would stay away from Lexapro. You don't need any more stimulation.

[SigmundFreud]

okay i really dont want lexapro anymore because it gave me higher heart rates while i was on it. are there ssris that were found to be least stimulating? i still use 5htp and GABA from time to time but they seem to have lost effectiveness. i still use alprazolam and propranolol as needed for restlessness/agitation and anxiety. 

[Altostrata]

Sorry, SF, I don't know of anything you can take that will instantly fix you. Please stop looking for that.