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VeryKariAnn: Hello Everyone - I Am Brand New


VeryKariAnn

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Hello everyone,I am glad to have found you all. I am in need of some help and support. I have come off of my meds cold turkey three days ago and I am experiencing a terrible WD. I am seasoned enough on meds to know that we are not supposed to do it this way, and that WD is an inevitable thing most of us will suffer when coming off of the meds. However, I felt so awful on the last medication I was on that I was willing to go through anything just to stop how I felt. Has anyone else ever felt that way on a med before?One year ago I was diagnosed with bipolar. It was not surprising to me due to the fact that throughout most of my life I have been prone to bothersome and sometimes uncontrollable shifts in my mood. I was almost looking for the diagnosis in order to finally get some relief, which of course as I knew, was going to be medication (or so I thought the medication would being me relief). I have been on a downward spiral ever since, and this makes me sad (not depressed, but just wistfully sad) that I have been blindly searching for a "magic pill" over the last year in order to "fix what was broken" - only to finally have become fed up and exhausted with the fact that the meds are truly making me feel worse and are hindering any real progress I could have been making. I have come to the conclusion that I was actually better before I ever took medication. Has this happened to anyone else out there?Over the past year, I have been on so many medications that it is difficult for me to try to remember all of them and what they did to me. Each and every one of them has made me sick - either physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually or a combination of all of those at once. I became so sick at one point that I required a hospitalization (last month), which led to me missing too much school (I am a full-time student) and the need to take a leave of absence. Clearly, the loss of school due to these circumstances would naturally lead one to feel depressed. I am still not any better and I feel very lost and defeated by what I feel these meds have done to me. The meds have made me physically sick, made me "manic", made me depressed, or simply didn't work at all, or worked too well and plateaued very quickly. Here is a list of the meds I have been on and the horrible side effects I have endured over the past year:Abilify: visual hallucinations (wavy lines through my field of vision), blurry vision, eye twitching, pronounced and uncomfortable nasal congestion one hour after ingestingSeroquel: awful, painful constipation at a dose over 100 mg, to include experiencing a fecal impaction and the need for enemas for several days (it was horrible!); also at higher doses I experienced auditory hallucinations (they sounded like a muffled radio broadcaster who would not stop talking - this was terrifying and very bothersome at night when trying to sleep)Zoloft: chronic, almost debilitating diarrhea; sometimes I came extremely close to not making it fast enough to a bathroom which left me ridden with anxiety if I had to be out in public for too longCitalopram: caused "rapid manic cycling" (that's what they told me anyway...)Lamictal: caused a manic episode and I was also was allergic to it (I developed the dreaded rash which required a trip to the ER); I felt like I was on speed when I took this and had heart palpitations and difficulty breathing at times which caused me to panicZyprexa: rapid weight gain (almost 5 pounds in just a few days), confusion, heart palpitations, rapid breathing, felt like I was going to pass out or that I was dying (horrible); I read this can be caused if you are a smoker? (which I am and my doctor did not inform of this about this med)Trazadone: another allergic reaction, which included not only a rash but auditory hallucinations (I was hearing voices this time which were calling out "Mom!" to me; I am indeed a mom but this was while I was in the hospital and my boys were obviously at home, so I know without a doubt the voices were not really there)Oxcarbamazepine: extreme fatigue, migraine headache and nausea every day; became unbearableCarbamazepine: according to the doctors, this one sent me into a "mixed" episode, upon which I had to be hospitalized (I was miserable and literally out of my mind); I then spent 7 days hospitalized at a psychiatric hospital, which I never in my life had to do beforeWellbutrin: another med I was on along with several others at the time, so I do not know if it caused any side effects or not...the not knowing what it did or did not do to me is kind of scaryGeodon: the worst one of all, which I just stopped taking three days ago. I experienced the worst akathisia I think a person could ever experience. I had unbearable feelings of inner tension which seemed to have no identifiable source, wanting to crawl out of my skin, anxiety, restlessness, uncontrollable muscle twitching/aching in my legs, and an intense urge to have to pace back and forth, then sit down, then pace. Nothing relieved it and this went on for hours every day. I was prescribed Propanolol to help, but it was only effective the first few times I took it. I did not want to take a blood pressure medication as I am otherwise very healthy. The akathisia worsened over time. It made me almost wish for death some days, as I felt I could not possibly bear another second of it. I apologize for being melodramatic about the side effects from this one but it was AWFUL and it made my mood worse...As I mentioned, I stopped taking the Geodon three days ago. Now I am experiencing withdrawal, which is awful in and of itself. WD has gone like this: electric zaps in my head which I see many of you have posted about, depression, feeling like I am going insane (luckily that passed in a few hours), apathy, hopelessness, and a fogginess in my brain that won't seem to lift. I am pushing through it because I cannot deal with the psych meds anymore. I feel weary, somewhat hopeless, and I am angry that they have made me so sick (sicker than I ever was, bipolar or not). I feel like my life has been taken from me! I cannot even attend school anymore due to what I have been through.I know that part of the awful WD is because I stopped everything at once. I know I am supposed to be tapered off (I've been titrated up/down and tapered off of several of the meds). I just coudn't take it anymore.Does anyone out there have a similar experience and any words of wisdom to offer? Thank you in advance to anyone who has taken the time to read my post and to respond. I hope to meet some new people on here who can relate to what I've been through.Kari

Edited by Petu
Member name added to title

Numerous types and combinations of meds for a bipolar diagnosis, from 10/2012 - 10/2013

I was typically on two to three of these at any given time; my history is a bit daunting:

 

1). Abilify: started 10/2012; 5 mg once a day for approximately two weeks along with Citalopram and Seroquel; asked to be taken off of it due to SE

2). Seroquel: started 10/2012; 25 mg at night for sleep, titrated up to 150 mg; had to titrate back down to 25 mg due to the SE at the higher dose; I still take 25 mg at night to sleep

3). Citalopram: started 10/2012; 10 mg every morning for about 7 months (up until 9/2013); was told this med caused me to "rapid manic cycle"; experienced profound WD (brain zaps)

4). Zoloft: started 1/2013; 50 mg once per day; I was switched from Citalopram to Zoloft because they thought the Citalopram might be making me "manic"; could not tolerate Zoloft (GI issues), was put back on Citalopram

5). Lithium: started 3/2013 for mood stabilization; took for three days then quit - it made me violently ill (GI issues)

6). Trileptal: started 4/2013; 300 mg in the morning, 600 mg at night; took for approximately five months along with Citalopram and Seroquel - added as a mood stabilizer; experienced intolerable SE and was asked to be taken off

7). Tegretol: started 8/2013; titrated off Trileptal and titrated up Tegretol in addition to being on Citalopram and Seroquel; 300 mg in the morning, 600 mg at night; experienced "mixed episode" during titration and had to be hospitalized

 

**all meds stopped at this point (hospitalization) and an entirely new cocktail was begun**:

 

8). Lamictal: started 9/2013 along with Wellbutrin and Zyprexa; 25 mg once per day, titrate up to 50 mg; took it for about 3 weeks and became increasingly "manic"; became allergic to it (rash)

9). Wellbutrin: started 9/2013; 100 mg every morning

10). Zyprexa: started 9/2013; 5 mg every morning, 2.5 mg every afternoon, 5 mg at night

11). Trazadone: started 9/2013; 100 mg at night for sleep; took for two nights, developed allergic reaction (rash)

 

**all meds stopped due to allergic reactions; one new med started**:

 

12). Geodon: started 10/3/2013; 20 mg twice per day; developed intolerable akithisia; abruptly stopped taking Geodon 10/19/2013 due to SE - felt worse than I have ever felt in my life

13). Ativan 0.5 mg PRN: last 3 months to help with anxiety I began to have due to SE from all the other meds; I never needed Ativan before

 

I am currently WD off Geodon and probably everything else I have been on; still take 25 mg Seroquel at night and Ativan PRN

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Hi Kari,

 

Thank you for sharing your story.  I appreciate what you have gone through.  I saw your post to my story a few minutes ago.  What can I say, huh?  This really sucks for us!  What I have done so far is really adhere to a very healthy high protein, low carb diet with no sugar.  Since I am suffering from crazy vertigo, I have not been able to continue my yoga practice.  But I walk around the block for 5 minutes everyday.  I read spiritual things and watch videos about mindfulness.  I meditate.  That is really important.  And I don't mean just sitting like a perfect little Buddah either.  However, whatever, position I can get comfortable in, that is how I go about it.  Slowing down my mind is all that matters.

 

I hope to write on this topic on this blog about what I have found to help me.  There is so much to say.  I hope this little bit helped.  I am glad you are out there.

1977-2001 Valium 5mg. PRN (and later years I PRNed too much)., 2001 Prozac, but changed quickly to Paxil for 6 months, then tapered over 8 weeks.

2002 Klonopin 1 mg., Celexa 30 mg. had "manic" response (was labeled bi-polar) so Neurontin was added after trying Depakote, Geodon, Risperadal, Zyprexa.

2003 Trileptal was added and Neurontin discontinued. Hair fell out and Trileptal was discontinued.,

2004 Now 6 mg. Klonopin, Lexapro 20 mg. (instead of Celexa) Lamictal 125 mg. instead of Trileptal.

2009 Now 3 mg. Klonopin reduced from 6 mg. after swallowing all the pills and lived to tell about it. Wellbutrin was added, then Rozerem 8 mg. and stayed on Lexapro 20 mg. and Lamictal at 100 mg. (Seroquel and Effexor were tried, but quickly discontinued.)

2011 Successfully tapered from Klonopin 3 mg. to 2 mg. that year in .25 mg. increments.

2012 Successfully tapered off Wellbutrin and discontinued Rozerem replacing it with melatonin. Tapered another 1/2 mg. of Klonopin.

2013 Tapered off Lexapro 10 mg. in January and February, tapered down to 75 mg. of Lamictal in February. Went to a holistic clinic for a month in March and tapered 1 1/2 mg. off Klonopin to 0 by March 13th. Finished Lexapro taper of 10 mg. during the spring and then the last 75 mg. of Lamictal in the summer. All done by July 21st 2013.  Withdrawal symptoms (both physical and emotional) up the ying-yang.  

10/22/13 Right now am suffering from unrelenting vertigo, crying spells, some anxiety.  Definite periods of hope and homeostasis. 

 

My introductory post:  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5118-equanimity-asking-for-help-for-unrelenting-vertigo-due-to-withdrawal/

 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

     

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Kari, I really feel for you and wish I could make it all better for you. It's an awful lot of meds to have been 

on! The side effects can be horrific but honestly, withdrawal can be horrific too  :( .

 

Things can get better, and this place is the very best place for advice and support.  Staff will be along to help

very soon but in the meantime can you include in your signature what doses you were on and when they stopped?

I know that can be hard to remember but will help them to help you if they have details of doses.

 

I wish you well on this journey, you are not alone and there are many of us with you.  :)

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Welcome. This is a good place.... :)

 

RU

Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone

1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox.

b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b]

2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax

November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b

Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax

My mantra " go slow & with the flow "

3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day)

4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day.

10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro.

1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms.

1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. :) 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut.

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Thank you everyone who has responded! I'm feeling better just knowing I am not alone. The kind words are exactly what I was looking for, as I figured out yesterday when I found this site that support is what people need. Yes, I will include in my signature the doses and how long I have been on everything. It's a mess to try to untangle because at one time I was titrating off of three meds and titrating up and three different meds (this led up to my hospitalization). I think that is a LOT for someone's brain to try to handle - no wonder I feel so crappy now :(

 

Kari

Numerous types and combinations of meds for a bipolar diagnosis, from 10/2012 - 10/2013

I was typically on two to three of these at any given time; my history is a bit daunting:

 

1). Abilify: started 10/2012; 5 mg once a day for approximately two weeks along with Citalopram and Seroquel; asked to be taken off of it due to SE

2). Seroquel: started 10/2012; 25 mg at night for sleep, titrated up to 150 mg; had to titrate back down to 25 mg due to the SE at the higher dose; I still take 25 mg at night to sleep

3). Citalopram: started 10/2012; 10 mg every morning for about 7 months (up until 9/2013); was told this med caused me to "rapid manic cycle"; experienced profound WD (brain zaps)

4). Zoloft: started 1/2013; 50 mg once per day; I was switched from Citalopram to Zoloft because they thought the Citalopram might be making me "manic"; could not tolerate Zoloft (GI issues), was put back on Citalopram

5). Lithium: started 3/2013 for mood stabilization; took for three days then quit - it made me violently ill (GI issues)

6). Trileptal: started 4/2013; 300 mg in the morning, 600 mg at night; took for approximately five months along with Citalopram and Seroquel - added as a mood stabilizer; experienced intolerable SE and was asked to be taken off

7). Tegretol: started 8/2013; titrated off Trileptal and titrated up Tegretol in addition to being on Citalopram and Seroquel; 300 mg in the morning, 600 mg at night; experienced "mixed episode" during titration and had to be hospitalized

 

**all meds stopped at this point (hospitalization) and an entirely new cocktail was begun**:

 

8). Lamictal: started 9/2013 along with Wellbutrin and Zyprexa; 25 mg once per day, titrate up to 50 mg; took it for about 3 weeks and became increasingly "manic"; became allergic to it (rash)

9). Wellbutrin: started 9/2013; 100 mg every morning

10). Zyprexa: started 9/2013; 5 mg every morning, 2.5 mg every afternoon, 5 mg at night

11). Trazadone: started 9/2013; 100 mg at night for sleep; took for two nights, developed allergic reaction (rash)

 

**all meds stopped due to allergic reactions; one new med started**:

 

12). Geodon: started 10/3/2013; 20 mg twice per day; developed intolerable akithisia; abruptly stopped taking Geodon 10/19/2013 due to SE - felt worse than I have ever felt in my life

13). Ativan 0.5 mg PRN: last 3 months to help with anxiety I began to have due to SE from all the other meds; I never needed Ativan before

 

I am currently WD off Geodon and probably everything else I have been on; still take 25 mg Seroquel at night and Ativan PRN

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  • Administrator

Welcome, Kari.

 

Which drugs have you quit most recently? How long were you on Geodon? Did you have withdrawal symptoms before you went on Geodon?

 

Since you had bad reactions to ALL psychiatric drugs, it is very possible they have never been compatible with your nervous system. Switching from drug to drug probably sensitized your nervous system even more. This makes your diagnoses highly questionable.

 

If you've been seeing the same doctor, I suggest you stop seeing him or her. Our list http://tinyurl.com/7cp8l8v

has a few doctors in Colorado. You might contact them and see if they recommend any colleagues closer to you.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Altostrata -

 

Thank you for your response! I have realized that I need to include a more complete history of my medications in my signature. I will fix that today. I have just recently quit the Geodon. I was on it for about a month after having an allergic reaction to what was believed to be Lamictal. At the time of the allergic reaction I was also on Wellbutrin and Zyprexa (good old polypharmacology). Due to the nature of the rash they deduced that it was probably the Lamictal, as it is known for causing a rash in the area of my body which it presented. At the time the Lamictal, Wellbutrin, and Zyprexa were immediately stopped and a few days later I was put on the Geodon. Yes, I did experience WD symptoms at that time. The Geodon made the WD symptoms go away but in turn created a whole other misery for me. I have also experienced WD from being titrated and tapered off of other meds over the last year. The doctor would just give me another one in addition to Ativan PRN to make the WD stop.

 

I think you are totally right - my nervous system and body in general cannot tolerate these drugs. My history is pretty bad. I have also always wondered do I really have bipolar disorder?? Maybe I'm just a moody person..which yes, I am sometimes.. The drugs made me moodier than I've ever been in my life though!

 

Thank you very much for the link, I will look in to that. Also thank you for what you do for others on this site, it's great to be able to support each other :)

Numerous types and combinations of meds for a bipolar diagnosis, from 10/2012 - 10/2013

I was typically on two to three of these at any given time; my history is a bit daunting:

 

1). Abilify: started 10/2012; 5 mg once a day for approximately two weeks along with Citalopram and Seroquel; asked to be taken off of it due to SE

2). Seroquel: started 10/2012; 25 mg at night for sleep, titrated up to 150 mg; had to titrate back down to 25 mg due to the SE at the higher dose; I still take 25 mg at night to sleep

3). Citalopram: started 10/2012; 10 mg every morning for about 7 months (up until 9/2013); was told this med caused me to "rapid manic cycle"; experienced profound WD (brain zaps)

4). Zoloft: started 1/2013; 50 mg once per day; I was switched from Citalopram to Zoloft because they thought the Citalopram might be making me "manic"; could not tolerate Zoloft (GI issues), was put back on Citalopram

5). Lithium: started 3/2013 for mood stabilization; took for three days then quit - it made me violently ill (GI issues)

6). Trileptal: started 4/2013; 300 mg in the morning, 600 mg at night; took for approximately five months along with Citalopram and Seroquel - added as a mood stabilizer; experienced intolerable SE and was asked to be taken off

7). Tegretol: started 8/2013; titrated off Trileptal and titrated up Tegretol in addition to being on Citalopram and Seroquel; 300 mg in the morning, 600 mg at night; experienced "mixed episode" during titration and had to be hospitalized

 

**all meds stopped at this point (hospitalization) and an entirely new cocktail was begun**:

 

8). Lamictal: started 9/2013 along with Wellbutrin and Zyprexa; 25 mg once per day, titrate up to 50 mg; took it for about 3 weeks and became increasingly "manic"; became allergic to it (rash)

9). Wellbutrin: started 9/2013; 100 mg every morning

10). Zyprexa: started 9/2013; 5 mg every morning, 2.5 mg every afternoon, 5 mg at night

11). Trazadone: started 9/2013; 100 mg at night for sleep; took for two nights, developed allergic reaction (rash)

 

**all meds stopped due to allergic reactions; one new med started**:

 

12). Geodon: started 10/3/2013; 20 mg twice per day; developed intolerable akithisia; abruptly stopped taking Geodon 10/19/2013 due to SE - felt worse than I have ever felt in my life

13). Ativan 0.5 mg PRN: last 3 months to help with anxiety I began to have due to SE from all the other meds; I never needed Ativan before

 

I am currently WD off Geodon and probably everything else I have been on; still take 25 mg Seroquel at night and Ativan PRN

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I still have Ativan PRN, which I forgot to mention in the signature. My apologies. I haven't wanted to put any more chemicals in my body since stopping everything but I am wondering if I should use it to help with the WD?

Numerous types and combinations of meds for a bipolar diagnosis, from 10/2012 - 10/2013

I was typically on two to three of these at any given time; my history is a bit daunting:

 

1). Abilify: started 10/2012; 5 mg once a day for approximately two weeks along with Citalopram and Seroquel; asked to be taken off of it due to SE

2). Seroquel: started 10/2012; 25 mg at night for sleep, titrated up to 150 mg; had to titrate back down to 25 mg due to the SE at the higher dose; I still take 25 mg at night to sleep

3). Citalopram: started 10/2012; 10 mg every morning for about 7 months (up until 9/2013); was told this med caused me to "rapid manic cycle"; experienced profound WD (brain zaps)

4). Zoloft: started 1/2013; 50 mg once per day; I was switched from Citalopram to Zoloft because they thought the Citalopram might be making me "manic"; could not tolerate Zoloft (GI issues), was put back on Citalopram

5). Lithium: started 3/2013 for mood stabilization; took for three days then quit - it made me violently ill (GI issues)

6). Trileptal: started 4/2013; 300 mg in the morning, 600 mg at night; took for approximately five months along with Citalopram and Seroquel - added as a mood stabilizer; experienced intolerable SE and was asked to be taken off

7). Tegretol: started 8/2013; titrated off Trileptal and titrated up Tegretol in addition to being on Citalopram and Seroquel; 300 mg in the morning, 600 mg at night; experienced "mixed episode" during titration and had to be hospitalized

 

**all meds stopped at this point (hospitalization) and an entirely new cocktail was begun**:

 

8). Lamictal: started 9/2013 along with Wellbutrin and Zyprexa; 25 mg once per day, titrate up to 50 mg; took it for about 3 weeks and became increasingly "manic"; became allergic to it (rash)

9). Wellbutrin: started 9/2013; 100 mg every morning

10). Zyprexa: started 9/2013; 5 mg every morning, 2.5 mg every afternoon, 5 mg at night

11). Trazadone: started 9/2013; 100 mg at night for sleep; took for two nights, developed allergic reaction (rash)

 

**all meds stopped due to allergic reactions; one new med started**:

 

12). Geodon: started 10/3/2013; 20 mg twice per day; developed intolerable akithisia; abruptly stopped taking Geodon 10/19/2013 due to SE - felt worse than I have ever felt in my life

13). Ativan 0.5 mg PRN: last 3 months to help with anxiety I began to have due to SE from all the other meds; I never needed Ativan before

 

I am currently WD off Geodon and probably everything else I have been on; still take 25 mg Seroquel at night and Ativan PRN

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  • Administrator

You can take Ativan occasionally, but if you take it every day, you may become dependent on it and have to taper that, too. Benzos are tricky -- side effects can be depression and rebound anxiety as the benzo wears off.

 

If the Geodon made the withdrawal symptoms go away, you might be able to take a very small amount of it for the withdrawal symptoms and avoid adverse reactions to the Geodon.

 

Then, after a while, you can taper off Geodon. See http://www.drugs.com/pro/geodon.html

It comes in an oral suspension that should make taking small amounts easier, see http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugsatfda_docs/label/2009/021483s003lbl.pdf

 

How much Geodon were you taking?

 

Adverse reactions tend to be dosage-dependent. Your doctor has stupidly been prescribing too-high doses of everything for you, as evidenced by the Lamictal reaction. If I were you, I would definitely find a new doctor.

 

Any MD can prescribe Geodon liquid.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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I think that's a good idea. I see the doc Friday. I had no idea it came in liquid form. I fixed my signature, my complete history is now in there. It's a lot to muddle through. It does seem like I have been on very high doses of everything...

Numerous types and combinations of meds for a bipolar diagnosis, from 10/2012 - 10/2013

I was typically on two to three of these at any given time; my history is a bit daunting:

 

1). Abilify: started 10/2012; 5 mg once a day for approximately two weeks along with Citalopram and Seroquel; asked to be taken off of it due to SE

2). Seroquel: started 10/2012; 25 mg at night for sleep, titrated up to 150 mg; had to titrate back down to 25 mg due to the SE at the higher dose; I still take 25 mg at night to sleep

3). Citalopram: started 10/2012; 10 mg every morning for about 7 months (up until 9/2013); was told this med caused me to "rapid manic cycle"; experienced profound WD (brain zaps)

4). Zoloft: started 1/2013; 50 mg once per day; I was switched from Citalopram to Zoloft because they thought the Citalopram might be making me "manic"; could not tolerate Zoloft (GI issues), was put back on Citalopram

5). Lithium: started 3/2013 for mood stabilization; took for three days then quit - it made me violently ill (GI issues)

6). Trileptal: started 4/2013; 300 mg in the morning, 600 mg at night; took for approximately five months along with Citalopram and Seroquel - added as a mood stabilizer; experienced intolerable SE and was asked to be taken off

7). Tegretol: started 8/2013; titrated off Trileptal and titrated up Tegretol in addition to being on Citalopram and Seroquel; 300 mg in the morning, 600 mg at night; experienced "mixed episode" during titration and had to be hospitalized

 

**all meds stopped at this point (hospitalization) and an entirely new cocktail was begun**:

 

8). Lamictal: started 9/2013 along with Wellbutrin and Zyprexa; 25 mg once per day, titrate up to 50 mg; took it for about 3 weeks and became increasingly "manic"; became allergic to it (rash)

9). Wellbutrin: started 9/2013; 100 mg every morning

10). Zyprexa: started 9/2013; 5 mg every morning, 2.5 mg every afternoon, 5 mg at night

11). Trazadone: started 9/2013; 100 mg at night for sleep; took for two nights, developed allergic reaction (rash)

 

**all meds stopped due to allergic reactions; one new med started**:

 

12). Geodon: started 10/3/2013; 20 mg twice per day; developed intolerable akithisia; abruptly stopped taking Geodon 10/19/2013 due to SE - felt worse than I have ever felt in my life

13). Ativan 0.5 mg PRN: last 3 months to help with anxiety I began to have due to SE from all the other meds; I never needed Ativan before

 

I am currently WD off Geodon and probably everything else I have been on; still take 25 mg Seroquel at night and Ativan PRN

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  • 1 month later...

Hi Kari,

 

First, let me answer two of your questions:  "However, I felt so awful on the last medication I was on that I was willing to go through anything just to stop how I felt.  Has anyone else ever felt that way on a med before?"  Yes!  And if you're referring to the akathesia, I too was willing to die to be free from it.  In my case it wasn't from Geodon, but from another AP called Abilify.  I don't even list that on my signature, as I was only on it for three days.  It was so long ago that I don't recall if I had WD symptoms, but if I did, they were minor.

 

"I have come to the conclusion that I was actually better before I ever took medication. Has this happened to anyone else out there?"  Yes!  I was definitely better before I ever started that Abilify for three days, and I was definitely before I ever started trazodone for seven months (slowly tapering off it now).

 

You've been through the ringer!  Your poor body!  If there was only one doctor putting you on and tapering you off all those drugs, he's the one who's crazy; not you!  He needs his head examined!  If it was multiple doctors, they obviously weren't communicating to make sure your nervous system wasn't getting over stressed.  I hate the fact that you were in a psyc ward. That's usually reserved for people who are at risk for harming themselves or others.

 

It sounds like the drug that's giving you the worst WD is the very one that gave you the worst side effects.  I completely understand not wanting to reinstate the full dose due to the akathesia, but from all I've read, akathesia is dose dependent, meaning if you take a much lower dose to ease the WD you'll have much less aakathesia.  It sounds like you can't take ANY AP, or any psychoactive drug for that matter.  There is a possibility that fish oil could help ease the WD, as it acts as a natural mood stablizer (at least from what I've read).  You're in such an awful state right now that even time is on your side.  As time passes, your nervous system will become more and more stablized. 

 

I don't have medical advice for you, and I don't think anyone on this site is a physician (please excuse me if I'm mistaken) but we ARE here for moral supportand as listening ears.  That's what I need most: listening ears, encouragers, and support in general.  You'll also undoubtedly be given titrating advice for weaning off medicines.  I know you're not on any meds right now, but it might be worth considering a much lower dose of whatever is giving you the worst withdrawal.  You've been on so much lately that it will take some work to figure out which drug(s) are giving you the worst withdrawal symptoms.

 

I also understand if decide to "tough it out", as I too would rather die than have profound akathesia.  I've lived through the severity of it that you described so well, but I only endured it for three days.  Please do consider ONE small dose though, just to see if you can ease the WD without running into the akathesia again.  I'm hurting for you.  I though I was the one in he** just from trazodone, but I'm not; you are!

 

It will get better with time.  I assure you.  Write as often as you want to.  It helps when you know you're not alone.  Take care of yourself.

insomnia, anxiety, depression- since childhood

lyme disease, dysautonomia, chiari malformation- dx 4/1997

nortriptyline- 75mg since childhood

clonazepam- 3mg since 4/1997

trazodone-100mg since 4/2013, now tapering

rotating antibiotics and antimalarials for lyme disease

midodrine- 10mg for dysautonomia

repeated skull surgeries for chiari malformation

 

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