Galandriel New with Withdrawl after Cymbalta - and what now?

[Galandriel]

Hi,

I 'm new and English isn't my mother-tongue, I hope you can understand my post.

 

As you can read in my signature, I went off Cymbalta and Trittico in Oktober last year - Cold Turkey. I've been told by my doctor: you can quit anytime, no problem.

A few weeks, I did great, nothing really bad happened. In december 2013 started the nightmare! My mood started to change to grey and I had a few rough days with anger-outbursts and crying-sessions. I was told, that my depression was back and that I should probably take my meds again. What I didn't want to and in January 2014 my situation improved and I felt better.

 

Sinds February, it has gotten even worse. It seems, as if my brain is changing and gives me thoughts, that I don't want to think. It feels like a second person sits inside my head and tells me stuff and makes me very angry. So my agressevity and ouburst increased to 250 %. Is that really me???

At that moment, I started searching the web and found infos about withdrawl. It seemed to me, that I found a reason for my symptoms. I talked to my therapist about it. As you surely guess, there was no help...because withdrawl occurs within several days after quitting, when there are weeks or months between quitting and symptoms, it's not withdrawl.

Right now I have really heavy problems, which affect my whole life:

- running thoughts about the same issue, over and over again

- no more Feelings of Love for my husband or my children (I have been a Family Woman all my life)

- no mor feelings of joy and happiness

- crying attacks for really small events or even worse, for nothing at all

- yelling ourburst at my kids and husband for no reason leads to not talking any more

- anxity of false behaviour with other people. That leads to avoiding social contacts

- thoughts of suicide because there is no more joy or love in my life

- from 4 am I cannot sleep anymore

- gained 7 kilo of weight without changing my eating habbit

When talking to my therapist, there's not really help. She's talking about depression again...but it feels completly diffrent, than when I took Cymbalta in the first place. I wish, I never did!!!!

 

My question is: would taking Cymbalta again and reduce it properly help to easy w/d? Or is it a good idea to skip to another medicine, which can be tapered much easier? Or what can I do to make it a bit easier?

I don't want to loose my husband or children in this...really thinking, I'm going insane or schizophrenic...

[Rhiannon]

Hi Galandriel, I just wanted to say hello and let you know you have been heard. Welcome. I'm sorry you ended up here and I'm so sorry for your suffering and anguish.

 

Everything you are experiencing is typical of SSRI withdrawal syndrome. I have heard the same story a hundred times over, the same things you describe. No, this is not a relapse of your depression; as you have observed these are not the same symptoms you felt with depression.  You never felt most of these things before taking the AD. These are typical withdrawal symptoms.  You can trust your own observations of yourself. Very few doctors or therapists understand that the worst of AD withdrawal often doesn't hit until several months out. It's typical for people to be diagnosed with a "relapse" around three to six months out, that seems to be a time when symptoms often ramp up.

 

At this point it has been almost six months since you dropped the Cymbalta cold turkey. This is a long time off for a reinstatement back on the drug.  At this point it's hard to say if it would help or not.  You can read our section on reinstatement here: 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3079-about-reinstating-and-stabilizing-to-stop-withdrawal-symptoms/

 

If after reading the above and reading the suggestions posted by other members, you do consider starting another AD or other med, please consider starting at a very low dose, below the usual bottom dose. Your nervous system is probably extra sensitized right now.  Also, you might want to consider trying something else besides Cymbalta, something easier to taper eventually--but please see what other people suggest, especially Alto, who is an expert on this subject. This is not so much my own area of strength.

 

You will find good information and support here. Other people will be replying to you soon. Meanwhile, welcome, we do understand, and you're not crazy or imagining things. What you're experiencing is something millions of people all over the planet are going through and it's caused by the drug that you took and the way it changed your brain and body when you were taking it.

 

These changes are eventually reversible and you will heal over time. Unfortunately it can be a long and hellish time.

[Wolfhound]

Hi Galandriel,

welcome, I am happy you found the forum.

When reading your post, I simply thought that I shared so much with you... I too was cold-turkeyed, the months that followed are my biggest nightmare. I have children too and now I struggle with being with them, with basic things. If you want to, feel free to contact me anytime here or by message ......I fell so sorry for what you have been through.

I am afraid I cannot help you with the subject of reinstating, I don´t understand it well. I hope somebody will come and help.

I am sending you greetings from central Europe, I do hope you feel better soon and that you will find many good pieces of advice here.

Wolfhound

[bubble]

I would lso like to welcome you and let you know you are not alone.

 

We are all waiting for Alto to say what would be the best course of action under your circumstances so that you don't experiment further.

 

You are at the right place and things will get better. We have all felt like you at one point (that's why we came here) and now we are feeling better.

 

hang in there. Maybe you could take magnesium to ease anxiety? http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

try to get magnesium glycinate because it is easy on the stomach and take a tablet several times a day rather than all at once. I ordered my online from iherb.com

 

waiting for Alto...

 

come here any time you need support or need to vent or express anything.

 

bubble

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Galandriel.

 

At so long off Cymbalta and trazodone, taking a little bit of Cymbalta, which we call reinstatement, may or may not help.

 

Do you have any Cymbalta left? What you might do is open the capsule, take 5 of the beads inside, and see if that helps.

 

Otherwise, you'll just have to cope with these post-discontinuation symptoms. Many people do well with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

[Galandriel]

Hi to all of you and thanks for the warm welcome.

The more I read here, the more angry I get about the doctors ... Even though I know, that doesen' t help.

 

Alto, yes I still have some Cymbalta left. If I am going to reinstatement, Do you know, if staying on the same substance would be safer, than to start with another AD, which will be easier to taper? Because the body, who is overeacting and alert, does not have to deal with new substance...is my idea, don't be sure, if I 'm right.

 

I was reading the links you posted. Fishoil sounds like a good thing I'm not quiet sure, if Magnesium is necessary right now.

I will go to town, to see, if I can find these supplements. Switzerland is very restrictive about these things. But anyway I will find a way.

 

What a hard struggle...but I'm glad, I found this Forum. It's a good feeling, not beeing alone!

[Petunia]

If you can't find the supplements in your town, you may be able to order them online.  There is a place called iHerb which ships them all over the world for a very reasonable cost.

[bubble]

they shipped them even to my tiny country and the prices very even better than here plus it was a lot bigger packaging

 

If I were you, I'd take 5 beads of the drug you were taking before and wait to see what happens.

 

Our brains need stability to heal. any kind of change goes against stability so it makes sense to stick with the drug your brain got used to...

 

best,

 

bubble 

[Altostrata]

....

Alto, yes I still have some Cymbalta left. If I am going to reinstatement, Do you know, if staying on the same substance would be safer, than to start with another AD, which will be easier to taper? Because the body, who is overeacting and alert, does not have to deal with new substance...is my idea, don't be sure, if I 'm right.

....

Yes, your reasoning is correct, better the devil you know than than one you don't!

[Galandriel]

I found Omega-3 in a store, but the price is much higher than Alto wrote in her post over Omega-3. I bought them anyway, so I can slowly start with them, but the following order, I will place at iHerb. Thanks

[Galandriel]

As you can read in my signature, I went off Cymbalta and Trittico in Oktober last year - Cold Turkey. I've been told by my doctor: you can quit anytime, no problem.

A few weeks, I did great, nothing really bad happened. In december 2013 the situation started to get worse. My mood started to change to grey and I had a few rough days with anger-outbursts and crying-sessions. I was told, that my depression was back and that I should probably take my meds again. What I didn't want to and all of a sudden, the bad feelings disappeared like fog in the sun. I was very happy and went on with life.

 

Sinds February, it has gotten even worse, a real nightmare! It seems, as if my brain is changing and gives me thoughts, that I don't want to think. It feels like a second person sits inside my head and tells me stuff and makes me very angry. So my agressevity and ouburst increased to 250 %. Is that really me???

 

At that moment, I started searching the web and found infos about withdrawl. It seemed to me, that I found a reason for my symptoms. I talked to my therapist about it. As you surely guess, there was no help...because withdrawl occurs within several days after quitting, when there are weeks or months between quitting and symptoms, it's not withdrawl.

Right now I have really heavy problems, which affect my whole life:

- running thoughts about the same issue, over and over again

- no more Feelings of Love for my husband or my children (I have been a Family Woman all my life)

- no mor feelings of joy and happiness

- crying attacks for really small events or even worse, for nothing at all

- heavy feelings of not beeing worth anything, the feeling of beeing a really bad person

- soziophobic = beeing afraid of meeting someone I know, because I don't want to talk to anybody. When they ask, how I'm dooing what shall

I say

- yelling ourburst at my kids and husband for no reason

- anxity of false behaviour with other people

- thoughts of suicide and at the same moment realizing that this is a " strange" thought, as if someone else is thinking it

- from 4 am I cannot sleep anymore

- gained 7 kilo of weight without changing my eating habbit

- intense thinking about the trauma caused by the mobbing and the effect, it had on my life. I lost my job and reputation. Even dreaming about it. This was in the beginning very heavy and faded away with the months working on it. Sinds february it is heavenly back...

When talking to my therapist, there's not really help. She's talking about depression again...but it feels completly diffrent. When I was depressiv, the world was grey, life was grey and without joy and I didn' t have any energy. But it didn't bother me at all. I felt, like nothing would make a change. And I didn't realize the thoughts i was thinking. It was more like sitting in a sh*tty situation and still don' t care about it.It didn't matter at all, nothing mattered at all.

 

Now my thinking is very clear and sharp. It even is the hardest part, that I realize the way I am thinking and reacting. It's like watching myself from a balcony and thinking: "this woman is absolutly crazy, how can you do, feel, act in such a strange way". Me thinking this and wanting to stop myself from hurting me and my lovedones and then, have to realize, not beeing able to stop my reactions...it makes me feel even more shameful, guilty, angry, dissappointed, worthless,...

 

That's why I'm here.

 

I was thinking about the things, that help me and the things, that will worsen the symptoms. I thought, I share it with you, maybe some things will work for you, too?

 

What are things, that help me:

- Yoga 1,5 hours /week, where only "this moment" is important. Reducing thinking to my body, just careing about myself

- Mantras

- even when I have pain, i go jogging at least once a week. In the beggining, i couldn't feel a diffrence, but after a while I realized, that after the workout, I feel more relax and a small amount of happiness is lurking through the clouds in my brain ⛅️ Astonishly, my pain will not be stronger after the work out!

- go out and walk. Beeing in nature is healing for my body and soul. No matter, what weather it is outside.

- beeing really sensitive to loud noises ( music, children screaming, TV,...) i can use earplugs...but mostly, i forget to use them, BEFORE the noise is making me crazy. I have to learn, to use them and not feeling ashamed about needing them

 

Take care ????

[Galandriel]

When I reinstate, how shall I do the steps? Would it be good, to take 5 beads a day for 3 days or better 5, due to giving time to the body, to get used to the beads? If no change, rise up the dosage to what level: 7 beads or 10?

Thank you for your answer and advise.

[Karma]

Galandriel,

 

I merged your new topic with your original topic.  Only one thread to a member in the Introductions and updates section.  Please post your questions and updates in this thread.  You might want to bookmark this your thread so you can always find it again.

 

Karma

[Galandriel]

Otherwise just delete my new topic for better understanding in this topic.

Sorry about the confusion.

[Altostrata]

When I reinstate, how shall I do the steps? Would it be good, to take 5 beads a day for 3 days or better 5, due to giving time to the body, to get used to the beads? If no change, rise up the dosage to what level: 7 beads or 10?

Thank you for your answer and advise.

 

I would take 5 beads as soon as possible. Do this for at least 4 days, it takes that long to register completely. See if this relieves symptoms. If not, you might take more. Stay in touch with us.

[Galandriel]

I'm feeling a bit better sinds Saturday.

Started with Omega 3 on 22 March and reinstated Cymbalta (5 Beads) on 23 March. Reinstatement even though I was feeling better, because of my experience with the windows-and-waves-thing.

Shall I stay on the 5 beads or take a higher dose? I'm really afraid to go through another wave, because the last one was so bad.

[mammaP]

I would stay with the 5 beads for now, it is great that you are feeling better  and

may not have to increase the dose.  I'm glad things are looking up for you.

[Galandriel]

I have arthralgia in my left hip, since mid December last year. The MRI didn't show anything wrong. The only thing the orthopaedic surgeon sees,that the mucosa inside the hip is to thick, which means it is inflamed. I was wondering, if this could possibly also be related to w/d, like other muscle pain?

[Altostrata]

If you're more sedentary than usual, that could be contributing to hip inflammation.

[Rhiannon]

I've seen all kinds of weird things happen in withdrawal--see the last comment I posted in Eternal Optimist's thread. Complaints of problems with inflammation seem to be fairly common.

 

That said, you can never assume withdrawal is the cause of everything, because you can miss important health problems that way. Always a good idea to get a medical check of anything you're concerned about.

 

How's it going with the 5 beads?

[Galandriel]

I still do my normal stuff: walking with the kids, geocaching, yoga, slow jogging - just the things, that work good with the pain not getting heavier. No, not everything is due to w/d, but if the exams and MRI don't show nothing wrong-the thought just passed my head

 

The five beads did give some relief with the "brain-stuff", not really with the physical pains.But I can do much better with the pain, than with the weird things happen in my head. I found, that in the evenings things went bader - because of what I've read here, I increased my beads to 2x5 beads...so far I found, it has helped me be more stabil during family life. Fatigue is a bit higher...

...but overall I can cope with w/d much better, 'cos my thoughts slowed down and when running-thoughts and anxity appear, I'm more able to calm myself down with Yoga-Breathing.

 

I know, it can change fast, but right now I enjoy the relief...

 

Wishing you all a happy,sunny day

[Altostrata]

Give the 10 beads some time. It may take months for your nervous system to settle down.

[Galandriel]

Thanks for your help, I will give my body and head some time to relax and get stabilized, before I think about tapering.

After all, I've read in the Forum, Patience seems to be very important with w/d...so I'm working on that one. Patience isn' t really one of my strong sides...

[Galandriel]

A short update:

Still having trouble with getting a whole night full of sleep - but it doesn't stop me from working and getting family-life done. Fatique is higher in the afternoon.

What changed most, since reinstating Cymbalta is, that suicidal thoughts are gone - what a relief! ????

Agressivity and the outburst are much better, showing only when stresslevel raises. Crying outburst are gone. The thoughts of envy are much smaller than weeks ago. Running thoughts pop up, but i am able to "switch channel". Lovefeelings for my husband and children raise a little bit and then disappear again-but there here again, so that gives me strength to carry on.

Changing moods within the day is still walking along with me, but I find the waves within aren't as high and low, as they were. The stormy weather ???? seems to calm down a bit and there's even a day that I consider " normal".

A pattern I can see in the last weeks: what really rises syptoms is stress, but what my body and brain consider as "stress" isn't always the same, myself would consider stressfull...so it isn't really "a peace of cake " to avoid stress...

 

Wish you all strength and force within your journey

[Altostrata]

Galandriel, it sounds like your system is still settling down, but reinstatement is helping.
 
You may want to see Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems

[Galandriel]

First days in May it all seemed to crawl back at me: feeling worthless, anxity level rised high, sucidal thoughts and just feeling overwhelmed by anything, crying spells. First I couldn't figure out, what was wrong, but then i realised i skipped a dose ( maybe two) because of severe stress at home. Isn't that a stupid thing to do??!?

 

In someone else's thread i read, that 4-5 days after forgetting a dose wd hits bad, gets higher until round day 10 peak is reached and slowly things begin to get better. I surely can relay to that!

 

The three last days life is not so kind. My feelings are struggeling with depressive thoughts, even though my head knows, that it's neuro-emotion. I just wish, my head would take control...not my feelings. But I think this is because I' m expecting my menstruation these days...Seems to rise wd symtoms.

 

So i got a tablet-dispenser...it will hopefully keep me from forgetting a pill.

[bubble]

Hello again,

 

I had to read from the beginning of your thread to remind myself of your journey  

 

It seems that even that far out (after 6 months) reinstating a tiny amount of that drug has relieved your withdrawal. That was really great to here. I reinstated 45 days after and it took me some 4 months to stop feeling like a zombie. Now almost 8 months into the process, I'm at maybe 80 % of what I was when I stopped taking medication...

 

Skipping the doses happens to all of us from time to time unfortunately. And you are doing the right thing: resuming the previous schedule and waiting for this little bump to settle. It might take some time and pre-menstrual period is also making things worse for me so I'm sure you will soon continue to recover. Also taking a measure to prevent this from happening in the future. Very happy for your progress.

 

How is that hip inflammation pain that you wrote about some months ago? 

 

all the best,

 

bubble