btdt Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 I have been using this lately I don't know if your ok with words or not for a time i wasn't and use sounds of the ocean. I read your page over again and in the first post you said the doc gave you something to sleep I think it was an anti psychotic and I don't know that is a good idea but you have been on it already and said it helped before... Again I DON'T know what I am talking about with drugs and maybe Alto will say this is a stupid idea and it may be... sleep for me was a big deal it could break me if I could not get sleep .. maybe it would be something to look at or at least ask Alto about. I am out of ideas just now hope the video is of some use to you. I wish you peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted October 11, 2014 Share Posted October 11, 2014 Whoops - sorry Alto. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted October 12, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 12, 2014 Just the thought of filling out a bill or looking at the TV stimulates me and amps up the terror and toxic feeling. I cant think about any future plans or events or activity, even something such a dropping my child off at school without sickening toxic terror and dysphoria. This sounds very familiar to me EMT, so I know what you are going through. I used to have to drop my daughter at the train station on some mornings, thinking about it the night before would fill me with terror and when I did wake up the next morning, the level of fear was like as if I was going to my own execution. It was only a ten minute drive, but I would be shaking and pouring with sweat, in the middle of winter. It was always a relief to get back home. I also had/have the same reaction to thoughts about things like paperwork or routine chores. The strange thing for me is that if I don't think about doing things first, but just spontaneously do them, the process is much easier. I've had days where the thought of having to take my garbage out to the curb, later that day, fills me with horror, I imagine I'm not going to be able to do it. But what would usually happen would be that I would refuse to think about it, then later that evening, I would suddenly remember it was garbage night and I would just go and do it and it would be fairly easy. I want to assure you that it does get better in time, I'm still not fully recovered, but the extreme terror reaction to normal everyday experiences slowly reduces and goes away completely given enough time. As the nervous system settles down, symptoms reduce and things start to become easier. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 12, 2014 Administrator Share Posted October 12, 2014 Don't look at the TV and put your bills on autopay. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
lexhex Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 Having gone through both acute benzo withdrawal and protracted SSRI withdrawal, I completely understand what you are going through. My benzo withdrawal was so severe I checked into a facility to get off the Klonopin safely. I came out of the experience a wreck. No sleep, no appetite, constant panic attacks and anxiety, agoraphobia, couldn't tolerate music or any extreme sounds, couldn't watch movies or even flip through a magazine, could not process carbohydrates, could not drive, had constant palpitations and heart problems that led me to the ER on multiple occasions. Took 18 months to get back to normal - but needed to go on an AD to make it happen. I just wasn't stabilizing on my own. Fast forward to 7 years on Lexapro, and I did a rapid taper back in 2012 that left me in the exact same physical and mental condition I was in when I came off the benzos. Only this time there was no drug that I could use to replace it. Everything I took gave me a paradoxical reaction. So here I sit two years later, just taking it day by day. I still can't take benzos, and I will never be able to take another AD. However, you may have some luck with VERY low dose beta blockers. Certain ones like Toprol or Inderal are fat soluble and cross the blood brain barrier, so in addition to shutting down the crazy heart palpitations, they also take the edge off the crazy going on in your brain. Basically, they bind to the beta adrenergic receptors in the heart and make your heart "impervious" to those adrenaline surges that roll off those of us in WD like tsunami. I take a small does of Toprol every day and although it is by no means a perfect solution, it has had a dramatic effect. You can also check out the posts on Taurine (an amino acid) which may also give you some relief. You are very early in the game right now, and you will most likely have symptoms that plague you for a while. But know that they do get better - just not in the "All at once" manner you will hope for. It's more of a two steps forward, one step back kind of thing. And it isn't at all linear. Keep asking questions, and keep checking in. The support is here for sure. Short term low dose Klonopin use back in 2004Acute, protracted withdrawal after discontinuingBegan Lexapro in 2005 to ease Benzo withdrawalTook 2 years to stabilizeRapid taper from Lexapro in July/August 2012Return of anxiety, insomnia and cardiac issuesFailed reinstatement early August 2012Acute withdrawal for 9 months; intermittent symptoms for another 6 Relief on February 9, 2014 after addition of Taurine Almost complete remission of symptoms w/addition of 12.5mg Atenolol daily Link to comment
btdt Posted October 12, 2014 Share Posted October 12, 2014 I think if your going to recommend another person to take a drug you should also tell them the risks of taking a drug. There is a thread here about beta blockers I tried a very low dose of one and had a very bad time with it. just saying they are not good for everyone tho I did not take either of the two you mentioned. It sure sounds like the facility you went to did not know what they were doing. Sorry you had to go thru that ...did they say you were a prime example of healed people they release? I can't believe a "facility" would take good money to put a person into such distress...when we can get there all by ourselves for free. I had all those symptoms and it was free. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 17, 2014 Administrator Share Posted October 17, 2014 Lexhex, it certainly does NOT sound like that detox facility got you off benzos safely, and whatever techniques you used to go off Lexapro were not safe tapering either. We do not recommend counting on a drug treatment to relieve any type of withdrawal syndrome. Even reinstatement of the original drug sometimes does not work. Sometimes people are so desperate they resort to a benzo or a beta blocker to relieve withdrawal symptoms. We advise caution when doing this. First, your nervous system may be so sensitized, you get strange paradoxical reactions even from drugs that are supposed to be calming. (Trials should be with extremely low dosages, fractions of "normal" dosages.) Second, beta blockers and especially benzos require tapering if you take them regularly -- and then you're in for another round of nervous system upset to recover from. Very gradual tapering is the best insurance. Other than that, adding other drugs is always a risk. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
btdt Posted October 19, 2014 Share Posted October 19, 2014 Lexhex in all fairness I know "facilities" do this all the time. I am sorry if I made it sound this was unheard of... I know it happens. If you took this as a personal thing it wasn't. It is my personal thing I think to be bitchy about how we are continually re drugged and set free again and again only to suffer on our own. Sorry for the snotty comment must have been in a mood I do tend to get like this when drugs are suggested as a way to heal from this as I went thru years of that not knowing what was really going on. They knew tho it is that elusive them that deserve my anger not you and perhaps you don't know.... keep reading you will learn. I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
EMT1 Posted February 19, 2015 Author Share Posted February 19, 2015 Well, just wanted to give an update. It's been 10 months since HELL started. I had no idea the torturous depths of suffering the mind was capable of producing until I stopped my ssri and low dose benzo. I am not 100% but I am a thousand miles from where I was. The last month it has slowly started to feel as though I am waking up from a coma or nightmare. My mind is no longer a constant torture chamber, just a little uncomfortable and wierd at times. The abject terror has diminished, providing there is nothing anxiety causing that comes my way. I still have a long way to go and to be honest, I am not sure if I'll ever be the same. My mind explored every hurt, inadequacy and every fear one could fathom. I felt piercing, soaring, indescribable pain in my soul. So much so, I thought my heart would actually give out. I've lost an alarming amount of weight, half of my hair and look as though I have aged 10 years. The depths and darkness a soul can hold is astounding. There were months I was unable to read, write or remember what I did five minutes prior. It seemed as though every single system in my body was in absolute chaos. Thankfully I am able to feel happiness, laugh and feel excitement and drive once again, no longer cowering in my corner of the couch. People no longer look scary to me and the world is feeling less foreign at long last. My heart was beyond destroyed knowing that there was no one out there who was a bad as I was. I don't have a clue how I survived.. Again I am still miles from here I need to be but I can certainly ride this out and who knows, maybe things will continue to get better. 1 Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Wow EMT, that's amazing!! I'm so glad for you. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted February 19, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2015 Things will definitely continue to get better. It's typical for there to continue to be ups and downs, waves and windows, so if it gets worse again, please don't be discouraged. The fact that it has gotten better means that you're healing, and that's not going to stop. Hang in there. You'll get through this and one day it will all be just a terrible memory. Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
alex Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Yay!!! 4 years aprox. on 150mgs.Effexor for situational major depression.No AD before.Tapered 150-0mgs in 3 months. Tapered Quetiapine,Xanax in the last 18 months.NO med of any kind anymore.First 3 months off acute w/dProtracted w/d ever since.Symptoms:Anxiety,anhedonia,insomnia,tinnitus,PSSD 04/13/2014 Awful Relapse.Recovered fairly fast. 3 years and 4 months off. waves and windows.Very much recovered. November 2015,health issue.Setback. Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Wow fantastic..very happy for you 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Addax Posted February 19, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2015 Good to hear, EMT1! 1988-2012: Prozac @ 60mg (with a few stops and starts) Fall 2012: Returned to 40mg after discontinuing and horrid withdrawal Fall 2013: 40mg Fluoxetine, added 150mg Wellbutrin to treat fatigue Winter 2014: Attempting to taper both (too fast) April 2014: 9mg Fluoxetine + 37.5 Wellbutrin Summer 2014: 8 mg Fluoxetine + 0 Wellbutrin (way too fast a drop) Late summer/Early Fall 2014: Debilitating Withdrawal symptoms Fall 2014 - Wellbutrin successfully kicked to the curb but… Oct- Dec 2014: Panicked reinstatement of Fluoxetine ->30mg - held for 5yrs Jan 2021: taper to 20mg Fluoxetine then tapering by 1mg every 2-3 months Fall 2022 - held at 10mg->December 2022: 9mg->Feb 2023: 8mg ->March 2023: brassmonkey slide begins: 7.8mg -> 7.6 -> 7.4->2 week hold (April)->7.2->7mg->6.8->2 week hold->6.6-> 1-month hold ->(June)-6.5->4-week hold-> (July)-6.4 (discontinued brassmonkey slide and slowed taper)-> (Aug)-6.2->(Sept)-6.0->(Oct)-5.9->(Nov)-5.8->(Dec)-5.7->wave!->(Jan)-5.8->(Feb)-6mg and holding. My 2014 withdrawal experience: https://rxisk.org/antidepressant-withdrawal-a-prozac-story/ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus WiggleIt Posted February 19, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2015 Well, just wanted to give an update. It's been 10 months since HELL started. I had no idea the torturous depths of suffering the mind was capable of producing until I stopped my ssri and low dose benzo. I am not 100% but I am a thousand miles from where I was. The last month it has slowly started to feel as though I am waking up from a coma or nightmare. My mind is no longer a constant torture chamber, just a little uncomfortable and wierd at times. The abject terror has diminished, providing there is nothing anxiety causing that comes my way. I still have a long way to go and to be honest, I am not sure if I'll ever be the same. My mind explored every hurt, inadequacy and every fear one could fathom. I felt piercing, soaring, indescribable pain in my soul. So much so, I thought my heart would actually give out. I've lost an alarming amount of weight, half of my hair and look as though I have aged 10 years. The depths and darkness a soul can hold is astounding. There were months I was unable to read, write or remember what I did five minutes prior. It seemed as though every single system in my body was in absolute chaos. Thankfully I am able to feel happiness, laugh and feel excitement and drive once again, no longer cowering in my corner of the couch. People no longer look scary to me and the world is feeling less foreign at long last. My heart was beyond destroyed knowing that there was no one out there who was a bad as I was. I don't have a clue how I survived.. Again I am still miles from here I need to be but I can certainly ride this out and who knows, maybe things will continue to get better. I am double withdrawing from an antidepressant and a benzo and I am almost at the four month mark. I am in hideous shape and extremely disabled from physical symptoms (cannot walk or swallow solid foods). I am too late and too scared to reinstate the antidepressant. I am unable to reinstate the benzo due to paradoxical reactions. Did you reinstate or not? *I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience **Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014 -All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness. It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage. All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors -Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine -Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey) -Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011 -Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less) -Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week -Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs -First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened -Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD. Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed. NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it. -Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned -Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia -Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat -Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged -7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia Link to comment
Pugknows Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 My God, reading all of these stories of people suffering for years on end. I cant stand this thought!! This is the most terrifying insane awful soul crushing thing I could have ever fathomed. I dont know how I would survive getting worse and not improving. Im hardly holding on now. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Pugknows Posted February 19, 2015 Share Posted February 19, 2015 Hi EMT and welcome! You are not going to suffer for years. You are healing right now, that's why you've been feeling so lousy. It's your frazzled nerves repairing and rebuilding that are causing symptoms as they reconstruct. Yes, some people have a rougher road than others, but they are not YOU. You have your own journey and we're here to support you. (((hugs))) January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
EMT1 Posted February 20, 2015 Author Share Posted February 20, 2015 Thank you guys so very much. Such a wonderful community ❤ Wigglet, I did not reinstate. I kept pushing through not knowing the level of Hell and suffering that awaited me. I am so sensitive to any medication, be it Tylenol or fish oil that there is just no way I could risk even a 1% worsening of my mental symptoms. If my symptoms were mainly physical, I personally would if the suffering was intolerable. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted February 20, 2015 Administrator Share Posted February 20, 2015 Good to hear, EMT. As a health professional, you can help educate others. Patients so need caregivers to understand what we go through in withdrawal. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
pepper59 Posted February 20, 2015 Share Posted February 20, 2015 EMT, I just found this thread. I did cold turkey withdrawal from Prozac after only a month on it. Idiot doctor told me to. I went through hell for 6 months and then finally began to get better, little bit by little bit. I think it was a year before I felt close to normal. That was about 10 years ago. I still have sensitivity to things because of it, but I am so much better than I was. You will keep getting better! started Xanax in 2014 (summer?) finished trazodone taper in March started tapering Xanax in March max dosage was 2mg down to 1.5mg divided into 4 fairly even doses trying dividing X into 6 doses using liquid form of X Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus WiggleIt Posted February 20, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 20, 2015 I am interested to keep following this thread. *I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience **Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014 -All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness. It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage. All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors -Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine -Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey) -Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011 -Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less) -Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week -Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs -First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened -Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD. Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed. NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it. -Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned -Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia -Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat -Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged -7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted February 22, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 22, 2015 I'm so glad you are feeling better EMT and thank you for letting us know. You will continue to improve. It would be great if you would add your history to your signature, so at a glance its easy to see your situation. Here are instructions for how to do it: http://survivinganti...your-signature/ Do keep us updated. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus WiggleIt Posted February 22, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 22, 2015 Thank you guys so very much. Such a wonderful community ❤ Wigglet, I did not reinstate. I kept pushing through not knowing the level of Hell and suffering that awaited me. I am so sensitive to any medication, be it Tylenol or fish oil that there is just no way I could risk even a 1% worsening of my mental symptoms. If my symptoms were mainly physical, I personally would if the suffering was intolerable. I am glad pushing through worked for you! I have read that physical symptoms can also get worse after reinstating, so even though mine are barely tolerable, I also cannot risk even a 1% worsening if something goes wrong. Hopefully, I will also fare better eventually. Please do let us know about your progress and don't forget to report to the FDA. *I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience **Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014 -All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness. It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage. All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors -Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine -Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey) -Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011 -Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less) -Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week -Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs -First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened -Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD. Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed. NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it. -Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned -Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia -Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat -Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged -7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted February 22, 2015 Administrator Share Posted February 22, 2015 Very happy to hear you're doing better. I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic. Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually! This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
EMT1 Posted March 1, 2015 Author Share Posted March 1, 2015 Thanks everyone, things continue to get better and better ❤ hope this keeps up. Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted March 1, 2015 Share Posted March 1, 2015 Yay! 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
EMT1 Posted April 3, 2015 Author Share Posted April 3, 2015 I just want to share with everyone, after another month and even more improvement I believe I have found something that works for me. It's difficult but each and every day shows to be more and more successful. I thought it was odd that every damn symptom I had ever read about, I experienced, or how I thought I had every damn syndrome, disease and whatever else could go wrong with the human body just so happen to occur to lucky little ol me. What I was filling my head with and surrounding myself with, I was attracting. Our perception creates our reality. The mind/body connection is so very real. By simply working on changing my thought patterns and perceptions, adding positive healing affirmations and visualizations, I kid you not... I've had 75% improvement in all area. It's constant work but what I am asking the universe for, I truly am receiving. Of course not completely but I can not deny the facts that I have not thought or wished for death in nearly a month, I am more functional so much so I was able to go on a trip and stay a night away, spend an entire day out and about with my family, and just much more. All I did day in and out was focus on my suffering, obsess over it. Now I'm thinking healing thoughts, envisioning and telling myself how every day is getting better. I have no clue if this will work for everyone, you have to fully believe it and push the dismissive thoughts out but I'll tell you what, I used to see my kids and die inside thinking what a failure I was and how they deserve better and I wouldn't get to see them grow up. How the hell I survived just those thoughts alone is beyond me. I started telling myself the opposite, it was hard but setting that ball in motion made me able to believe it more and more. I thought I had no control over my mind, and that was true for nearly a year but I'm gaining ground and have my fighting Spirit back. I'm dead serious, if I can improve.. I swear anyone can. whenever I think I can't do something.. I tell myself bullsh*t... Yes I can! It seems true... What you tell yourself is what you manifest. I pray I'm on the right path and things continue to improve more and more. Also, staying away from negativity, reading symptoms and suffering have been critical. Change your perception, refuse suffering as your fate! I pray every one is doing well and improving ❤ Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 Sounds good..EMT xx 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted April 3, 2015 Share Posted April 3, 2015 I LOVE this post EMT! I was a big believer in the law of attraction before this happened. I know that when I'm saying positive affirmations, reading success stories and focusing on healing rather than all the 'what it's' it really helps me. Reading something positive like this reinforces the fact that healing happens. Thank you for writing this. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus WiggleIt Posted April 4, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 4, 2015 Thank you for checking in! This positive update means a lot. I hope someday I can say my physical antidepressant damage has seen a 75% improval! *I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience **Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014 -All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness. It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage. All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors -Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine -Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey) -Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011 -Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less) -Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week -Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs -First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened -Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD. Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed. NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it. -Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned -Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia -Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat -Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged -7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted April 4, 2015 Moderator Share Posted April 4, 2015 That is FANTASTIC!!!!!!! You have turned such a major corner. I am soooo happy for you. Attitude is so important during WD and recovery, I hope a lot of people read your post and take it to heart. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
ihadakathisia Posted August 12, 2016 Share Posted August 12, 2016 I wonder if EMT1 would come back and write a full success story. 1 December 2015 One month Prozac at 10mg/day and every other day for MILD Anxiety ( What the hell??? No prior illness of any sort.) Horrible side effects. Finally Cold Turkey.May 2016 - Lamotrigine 0.5mg. Going up slowly. Sleep back to 8-9 hours normal (complete insomnia after Prozac).June 2016 - 2 weeks 2.5mg Diazepam for Akathisia. Then lowered to 0.6mg/day. Also Propranolol, Clonidine, occasional antihistamine, magnesium, B6 - for akathisia. Experiencing severe protracted withdrawal. Symptoms got worse and changed each month. Last symptom remaining - Severe Akathisia since May with (mostly) waves and (some) windows. (When worse: pacing, can't concentrate or even speak, difficulty eating, driving, getting out of the house, horrible pain, restlessness, headache, exhaustion) Link to comment
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