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Againstallodds: Obsessive thoughts-help


Againstallodds

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Hello everyone
I follow
the forum
for a while now
thank goodness I found this forum, I sat for hours during panic attacks and severe depression and read testimonials of people pass through hell the same as mine, it helped, It still helps
My history with drugs is long and I'll write in more detail later also my signature, but now I wanted to ask a few things that are urgent for me

I Withdrawal for 7.5 months now, I experience Pure Hell

hell started 3-4 years ago or so when the doctors Replace drugs like candy to find "balance" but the hell then does not compare to hell in Withdrawal 
The symptoms I experience on a regular basis
Panic, It's weird to explain but like every thought, even if the most innocent creates panic ..
Severe obsessive thoughts, feeling disgusted with myself feel ugly, ashamed to leave the house, it does not leave me 24/7, every time I find a new flaw in my body and it does not come out of my head, I dream about it at night and it's the first thing i think about when I wake up

Depression - negative thoughts all the time, no hope / faith, future, no point in living

Crying spells
(Severe paranoia from people (even people I know well
!Violent images in my head as I cut myself-really scary
There are more but  I wanted to focus on obsessive thoughts, it's getting worse by the day and I do not know What to do
I looked for similar evidence but did not find, can be obsessive thoughts arise on drugs? now when I experienced this very acutely that can be part of the withdrawal or  I'll have to live with it forever Because it was arise with the drugs? This suffering is impossible

Sorry English is not my language, Hope I was clear

I would appreciate any response

  Thank you for being here

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi Againstallodds,

 

Welcome and thank you for posting.  I'm sorry you are not feeling well, these symptoms sound very familiar and are often experienced as part of antidepressant withdrawal, especially if someone stops taking the drugs too fast.  I have had many of those symptoms myself from my own drug history and withdrawal.

 

How did you come off your medication? Did you stop taking everything 7.5 months ago?

 

It would be helpful if you could give us some more details of what you were taking, for how long and how you stopped.  You could put all that information in your signature, here is how you do it:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Once we have some more information, we can have a better idea of what to suggest.  But to answer your question, withdrawal doesn't last for ever, you will recover, it may take some time though and there are ways to help manage symptoms as you recover.  You will find a lot of friendly help and support here.

 

Petu.

 

 

 

 

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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I am so sorry that you are suffering so badly. All I can say is that what you write makes complete sense to me. It has been 3 years for me and I feel much improved from where I was at 7 ½ months. I remember that 7 ½ months was a very dark time for me also. 

 

 

When you say the panic is weird to explain, I wonder if you are asking a question I asked myself. Do the thoughts create the feeling or is it the feeling which creates the thoughts? I believe that withdrawal chemically creates horrible feelings. The feelings are so unbearable that the mind scrambles to find a thought horrible enough to justify the feeling. That is why the thoughts are so horrible. But these thoughts are not you.

 

 

Do not despair. Healing is happening, even if you cannot feel it. My heart goes out to you.

 

Heart

In 2004 was initially put on Effexor, but by 2007 I had a whole cocktail going - 112.5 mg Effexor, 200 mg Buproprion SR, 250 mg Depakote, and 27mg Concerta ER. I switched psychiatrists to get off of everything.  Systematically, my new psychiatrist took me down – last to go was the Effexor, which he switched to Prozac to soften the reaction.  My last pill was July 2011. Although with every change, up or down, I felt a bit rotten and flu-like, I would return to normal within a few weeks. Looking back, perhaps I felt a bit crabby, but I had no hint that I was in trouble until November 2011 when I experienced something odd - I got no buzz from an occasional glass of wine. By Jan 20112 I was hit, full force – insomnia, no dreams, pacing, twitchy, chemical despair – later:  tingling sensations, audio distortion ... Many symptoms have improved, some have not, some have morphed. I am still struggling, 3 years out. 

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Thank you for your response pute & heart

I'm really afraid that my condition is lost with all the

types of drugs (I will update my signature and you'll see) I took Over the years, I barely functioning

Two things that kill me on a regular basis

Crazy obsessions thoughts that Cause anxiety and depression celebrate

And All the traumas experienced in young age (I had a lot) fly nonstop in my head, it's like I'm reliving the traumas every minute, I'm not in the present, and certainly can not look to the future

Now that the Drugs fog is dissipates is it me?

I know that I have a partial basis to my feelings but not in such intensity

Pessimism, anger, paranoia, insecurity, panic attacks all of these new things I didn’t know before weaning and I dont know how to deal with them, It's unbearable!!

I know no one has a magic wand and feeling good does not come just like that, you have to work on it all the time but I feel really handicapped
From ag
e 24 to now 38 I'm on the drug that caused me to be reckless, do not plan anything, live from moment to moment and now that im without drugs seems that all this time I ran without really moving anywhere, It's like starting from scratch, but with the addition of emotional madness from the withdrawal
Sorry I'm so dark, It also surprises me I do not know myself that way
Hope everyone has the strength to go through this hell
Really hard to explain in words what I'm going through
But I'm sure that here you understand

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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Hang on, against all odds. You are not alone in your experience, as you know from reading this site. Petu and other knowledgeable folk will help you. Obsessive thoughts are very common with psych drugs and withdrawal. I also have experienced severe anxiety simply from thinking - about anything  - no matter how innocent. This will not be forever. It's a long road but you can recover.

04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis)

Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed)

05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks.

05/10/14: Joined this site.

05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day)

05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day)

06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups

07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution

05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance.

 

 

 

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thank you mlrp

I know I'm not alone, unfortunately

It's amazing, when you think that it cant be worse Come a wave that show me there is no limit to hell ..
However I am experiencing very very rery small windows but without enough strength, From what I've seen here is encouraging, even if it's a tiny window its a good sign

I miss the inner voice that says, "Everything will be fine" but until he comes back I have this life saving forum

Another thing that I have since the withdrawal
Severe eye discharge, when I wake up I can not open my eyes, someone familiar with this symptom?

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Againstallodds,

Its a good sign that you are having some small windows, this means you are healing.  How long have you been having eye discharge?  I had this happen to me for a few days about a year ago, I didn't think it was withdrawal related, maybe it was, but it cleared up and didn't come back.

 

We really need some more details about your drug and tapering history to be able to offer any meaningful support and suggestions.  You haven't even told us what drug you took last.

 

 

It would be helpful if you could give us some more details of what you were taking, for how long and how you stopped.  You could put all that information in your signature, here is how you do it:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Once we have some more information, we can have a better idea of what to suggest. 

 

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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hi petu

Provisions eyes about 3 weeks after I stopped completely
I will update my signature (I have to translate my language to English so it takes me some time .. I'm working on it) (:
After I update you will have a better idea
Thank you

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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I tried several times to post My signature But for some reason it didnt absorbed (I must be doing something wrong) I'd love to for guidance in this matter.
 i post the signature here for now until ill have idea how to post it properly.
 

1998 was hospitalized due to eating disorders, there thay put me on citaloparm-didnt even know what psychiatric pills was, thay didnt ask, Anyone who was hospitalized Received drugs even if thay didnt have to,Like my case, I was anorexic but .. I didnt have anxiety / panic, depression, OCD (These appeared only after several years with the drugs)

From that moment on, everything is vague ..
took so many pills that Im lucky to remember their name..Cant remember Years and taking time/dose in some drugs..I'll write what I remember (Most SSRI-high doses)

2002-Paroxetine 

2005-escitaloparm 

2006-fluoxetine

2007-zoloft (3 times)

2009-Prozac (2 times)

(Most SSRI made mania / hypomania because of this I did a lot of crazy things without judgment, After a few years almost all SSRI caused paradoxical effects)

 

general drugs I took:

Antipsychotic-ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol

SNRI-efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta

Mood Stabilizers-lamictal,Tegretol

Other-sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin

Antihistamines-Prothiazine-once in a while

benzodiazepine- Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival (Very rarely Due to the addiction tendency & paradoxical effects) 

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 month Towards the end made ​​me very obsessive and depression, was hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 month-made ​​me more obsessive,Depressed and paranoid 

Then I tried:

lamictal

saphris

none of them helped

Then I tried again in 2013 zoloft 50 mg (10 days)-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-I got off gradually and Very quickly I went back to hell

was completely crazy so started in 7/2013-3 month-Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad,crazy obsessions,depression's, stopped functioning so i lowered my dose every week  to a full stop:

Homeopathy treatment when I went from Anfrnil-nada

125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

 

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal, but now it seems that my body can not get anything, 

tried Alpha-Stim®SCS- (1.5 month) Fried my brain and causes more anxiety

 

 

 

  1.  
  2.  

 

 

  1. Homeopathy treatment when I went from Anfrnil -nada 

 

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hello AgainstAllOdds--

 

It sounds like you have really been through the wringer with these drugs! I am so sorry the doctors put you through all of that.

 

I'm glad you came and introduced yourself. As you know there is no cure other than time and patience and gentle self care, but we can give you lots of support and encouragement as you walk through hell and come gradually out the other side.

 

I understand about having the memories and feelings from trauma so strong. I have had that in withdrawal too. It's hard to explain--we have to work through those traumas, but the way they hit us in withdrawal is not really a helpful, healing way. When you are more recovered from the chemical chaos in your brain, you will be able to find healthy ways to work through and heal those issues from your past. For now, see if you can just accept.

 

I have found that mindfulness type exercises have been very helpful during withdrawal. It is not always possible to do them but when I make it a habit to try those type of meditations regularly I do find that it makes it easier to deal with those feelings and thoughts.

 

Most important, please be assured that this is NOT you, you are not sick or crazy. What you are experiencing (Including obsessive thoughts, very common in withdrawal) sounds like what I have heard hundreds of other people describe in withdrawal.

 

Hang in there. Read through our Symptoms and Self Care section. Go back several pages and see what kinds of suggestions people have offered. You may find something of use to you there.

 

And you may find some comfort in reading about Monica (Gia K)'s journey on her blog Beyond Meds. She went through a very difficult healing time after coming off many meds. It was a struggle for many years but she is doing much, much better now, and her blog has lots of ideas and stories and suggestions and healing ideas.

 

I'm glad you are here. Please stay with us and let us support you through this dark time. You will come through it, although it is going to take a couple of years. But you will come through it, I assure you.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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RHI You made me cry, good cry, ty for the Comforting words, all of you so wonderful!!

Support is critical at this time, Not all of us have supportive families so this forum is a life saver.

About meditation this great tool and excellent you're able to use it but right now it's too hard for me, I have no patience but Im able to listen to meditative music when I go to sleept's not something I I could two weeks ago So this actually progress (:

today was exhausted, I have no idea how to go through another weekq/month like that not to mention years

I wish I knew then what I know now, I have a lot of anger on doctors, I lost faith in almost everything, everyone, it's a bad place to be in but it's really out of control, there is something devilish runs my head, crazy struggle.

Even in a small window I do not feel good, although not the usual hell, but not joy or desire for anything ..not me at all..

Hope for easy days for everyone.

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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Hang on, against all odds. You are not alone in your experience, as you know from reading this site. Petu and other knowledgeable folk will help you. Obsessive thoughts are very common with psych drugs and withdrawal. I also have experienced severe anxiety simply from thinking - about anything  - no matter how innocent. This will not be forever. It's a long road but you can recover.

How did you deal with severe anxiety simply from thinking? It went alone?

It seems that no matter what I do, auto-suggestion, try to be busy etc it's not leaving..

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
How did you deal with severe anxiety simply from thinking? It went alone?

It seems that no matter what I do, auto-suggestion, try to be busy etc it's not leaving..

 

 

Many of us here have this problem of anxiety being made worse by thoughts.  I've had to learn how to control my thinking and it hasn't been easy.  Some kinds of meditation and CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) can help.

 

The kind of meditation I find works best for stopping thoughts is focusing on breathing with a kind of mantra.  In my mind I say a word like peace or calm with each breath.  Just lately I've been using the word 'the', because it can't be related to anything which could possibly cause more anxiety.

 

Some people find EFT (emotional freedom technique) works.

 

Have a look through some ideas from our symptoms and self care section, you may find something works for you:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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I agree with all of Petu's suggestions.

 

At the beginning, I had panic attacks that lasted for hours on end and I couldn't really "meditate" in a quiet sense. During those really bad times, I would walk, and practice focusing on breathing - there are various suggested rhythms. If I couldn't get my head around anything complex, I would practice "square" breathing - inhale a count of 8 - hold a count of 8 - exhale a count of 8 - hold a count of 8 - and repeat.

 

And, yes, any mantra or non-negative word or phrase, over and over and over, just to crowd out the negative thoughts. "This, too, shall pass" was a favorite of mine.

 

And, paradoxically, striving too hard to fight the anxiety will likely increase it. In other words, accept that you are anxious, and practice breathing and positive mantras while being anxious.

 

As Alex says (and is becoming a favorite of mine), keep on walking.

04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis)

Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed)

05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks.

05/10/14: Joined this site.

05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day)

05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day)

06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups

07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution

05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance.

 

 

 

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Hi againstallodds,

 

Just saying welcome. I tried getting off of Lexapro (only 5mg) back in April and was fine for about a month, then hit a wall. The anxiety and obsessive thoughts were exhausting, and I only found relief when I started back on the Lexapro.  I will continue to take it until I'm stable and then will do a proper, lengthy taper.  Just giving some background, but I wanted you to know I am completely understanding of the obsessive thoughts, mine take the form of health anxiety but I spend a good portion of my day ruminating, and know how tiring that can be.

 

Just stay strong and keep on this forum, it's been a huge help for me.

1995-Zoloft 100mg 

1996-Off Zoloft C/T

2000-Zoloft 100mg

2002-Off Zoloft after 50mg decrease then C/T

2006-Zoloft 50mg

2009- Off of everything except occasional Xanax as needed for anxiety

Fall 2009-Pregnant with extreme morning sickness, doc prescribed Zoloft again 50mg

Summer 2010-Zoloft and Klonopin for anxiety

Fall 2011-Quite Zoloft C/T had severe withdrawal, ended up on Lexapro

Fall 2011- Lexapro 20mg and Klonopin .5mg

May 2014-After weaning myself down to 5mg of Lexapro,I quit. I was fine for the first month 

August 4th-started back on 5mg of Lexapro, hoping to do a proper taper this time. Also on .5mg of Klonopin and .25mg of Xanax as needed.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Yes, I understand about not being able to meditate while sick from withdrawal. Many of us have that same problem. If you can listen to calming music, that's very good.

 

I think the fact that you sometimes have better days and that you notice small improvements (like being able to listen to music) is a positive sign that you will recover fully within a couple of years.

 

I know it is hard to imagine getting through one more day or even one more hour, let alone years, but you won't feel this bad that whole time. You will have many better days. You will feel better than you can even imagine right now.

 

Right now all you have to do is "keep walking." Just take it one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

 

Remember the saying (I think it was Winston Churchill): "If you're going through hell, keep going."

 

Slowly, gradually, as you can manage it, you can add in habits that will help in small ways. Fish oil and magnesium, for example. Gentle walking. "Mindfulness" type meditation (where you just meditate on being where you are, experiencing what you are experiencing, letting it be and just observing it). There are other habits of body and mind that you can slowly develop which will help you. 

 

I am not just saying you will get better because I want to make you feel better. I am saying it because I have seen many, many people go through this process, and you are showing the early signs that are usually associated with a long but eventually successful recovery.

 

There are many other people here who have come through what you are going through. Please let yourself lean on us for support. When you are feeling hopeless and not believing you can get better, we will hold your hope and believe for you, because we know what you are going through. Most of us have been there and we understand.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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There are many other people here who have come through what you are going through. Please let yourself lean on us for support. When you are feeling hopeless and not believing you can get better, we will hold your hope and believe for you, because we know what you are going through. Most of us have been there and we understand.

 

Quoting this because it made me cry, out of gratitude, and because it's true.

04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis)

Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed)

05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks.

05/10/14: Joined this site.

05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day)

05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day)

06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups

07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution

05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance.

 

 

 

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Thank you very much for your cooperation and support 

Very difficult for me to meditate my mind never stops telling me horror stories 

All day every day, I tried several times different types of meditation, but that voice in my mind driving me crazy and I can not get more than a minute or two .. 

I was very active, a lot of sports, but in recent months I stopped completely, that voice again, fear of people just shut me within myself and needless to say that the situation has worsened twice as much, not good for anyone to be alone, I still force myself to stay active, I enrolled reflexology, Hobbies I loved once, I tried to go back to work but I did not last, no desire, no passion for anything and the truth is I'm still in total shock, it's like waking up to your worst nightmare, it is absurd that in order to escape from the nightmare I'm just going to sleep .. 

I do not know what I'll do, I hate those drugs, I was not depressed, anxious, etc. before the drugs, but once touched them .. I'm terrified of the paradoxical side effects but still ן may start very small dose just to stand up, I just do not see myself living that way, it just gets worse ..

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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I was very athletic before, too. But all of this changes in withdrawal.  I suggest at this point that you not overwhelm yourself with trying too many things (hobbies, energetic activities, etc.) to "overcome" the anxiety. Your central nervous system is overwhelmed and will not likely do well with stimulating activity - even things you once enjoyed. Be very, very gentle with yourself. Slow walking, maybe epsom salt baths, low-volume, gentle, almost "boring" music. 

04/2013 diagnoses: severe insomnia, major depressive disorder, anxiety disorder, agoraphobia. PTSD (my diagnosis)

Original scripts: 30 mg mirtazapine (Remeron) (1x day), 75 mg Bupropion HCL (Wellbutrin) (2x day), and 0.5 lorazepam (1x day or as needed)

05/05/14: Onset of acute Wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms after haphazard "taper" of 6-8 wks.

05/10/14: Joined this site.

05/11/14: Reinstated approx. 25 mg Wellbutrin (1x day)

05/14/14: Switched to 12.5 mg Wellbutrin (2x day)

06/28/14: Changed lorazepam dosing to .25 mg 2x a day - seems to be reducing anxiety flare-ups

07/28/14: Dosing Wellbutrin in a (home made) solution form 12.5 mg (2x day) 08/15/14: Remeron 28 25.2 22.7 20.5 18.5 16.7 15.1 13.6 mg (home made) solution

05/16/15: Have been dosing lorazepam at .5 mg in the morning, .25 mg in the afternoon, and .25 mg at bedtime. Anxiety has increased somewhat, possibly due to tolerance.

 

 

 

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I was very athletic before, too. But all of this changes in withdrawal.  I suggest at this point that you not overwhelm yourself with trying too many things (hobbies, energetic activities, etc.) to "overcome" the anxiety. Your central nervous system is overwhelmed and will not likely do well with stimulating activity - even things you once enjoyed. Be very, very gentle with yourself. Slow walking, maybe epsom salt baths, low-volume, gentle, almost "boring" music. 

I agree with you, the will to escape anxiety by endless pursuits sometimes creates more anxiet, hard to be alone, hard to be out .no matter what angle.I feel trapped 
Very difficult for me to be gentle with myself and with others during this time, I'd rather be isolated than being angry and impatient with people who did nothing to me .. unfortunately I can not get away from myself 
So I have to learn to be more gentle, I will try to practice on this, ty!
 
Sorry about all the whining, it's pretty much the only place where I feel I can speak freely and you really will understand what I mean and excellent advice here so thanks.
 
important question please 
If I decide I want to go back on Seroxat to balance myself how should I do it? 5 mg it's okay? I can not cut less than that because otherwise I would have powder, just note that I am very sensitive and I usually responds to minor doses

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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Your main issue here is OCD?

December 2008 Prescribed 20mg citalopram (celexa) for depression and OCD.July 2013 stopped taking citalopram (celexa). November 2013 reinstated citalopram (celexa) following replapse at 20mg for 4 weeks, 40mg for 4 weeks and tapered off over 4 weeks as my condition had deteriorated. February 2014 started 20mg of fluoxetine (prozac). Didn't tolerate it and stopped 4 weeks later, experienced no withdrawal. May 2014 started 25mg of sertraline (zoloft), increased to 50mg after 1 week. Remained at 50mg for 4 weeks before increasing to 100mg at the request of my psychiatrist despite advising of suicidal ideation for an additional week before stopping. Advised to drop to 50mg for 3 days before withdrawing altogether. I did as advised and horrendous withdrawal ensued. 11th August 2014 commenced escitalopram (lexapro), weaned off end of October 2014. Commenced Clonazepam December 2014 0.5mg twice daily, switched to Diazepam 10mg twice daily with a view to tapering of the benzodiazepine altogether. Tapering schedule presently at a reduction of 1mg of Diazepam every 1-2 weeks depending upon side effects. So far experienced no severe physical side effects except worsening of PGAD symptoms upon reduction which does seem to improve within a few days of doing so. Presently taking no antidepressants however still experiencing mild agitation, severe depression and PGAD which is currently being treated by a physiotherapist.

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It seems now most dominant is OCD
 

I also have panic attacks, anxiety and depression
It could be that these were created by the OCD and may not

panic attacks, depression, paranoia was not until a few years ago when I went off and when I tried new drugs and even then it was not as powerful as now in this 
Withdrawal

 

"If I decide I want to go back on Seroxat to balance myself how should I do it? 5 mg it's okay? I can not cut less than that because otherwise I would have powder, just note that I am very sensitive and I usually responds to minor doses"

Does anyone have any suggestions?

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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I have struggled with OCD my whole life.

 

I genuinely believe that antidepressants are not the way forward. I'd be a hypocrite to say that you should now avoid them at all costs but I truly believe that if OCD is the root cause of your depression and anxiety that you should avoid reinstating antidepressants if you can. It's a hard slog but psychological not chemical intervention is your best approach at healing yourself.

 

Search Mark Freeman OCD on youtube, he's incredibly insightful at how best to attack your anxiety issues.

 

Seek out a good therapist that has experience in dealing with OCD, CBT and most importantly ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention).

 

The key to beating OCD is essentially to stop caring about your obsessions regardless of their content, if you can learn to do that you'll be free and you'll probably find that your depression will lift in the process.

 

Good luck and god bless.

December 2008 Prescribed 20mg citalopram (celexa) for depression and OCD.July 2013 stopped taking citalopram (celexa). November 2013 reinstated citalopram (celexa) following replapse at 20mg for 4 weeks, 40mg for 4 weeks and tapered off over 4 weeks as my condition had deteriorated. February 2014 started 20mg of fluoxetine (prozac). Didn't tolerate it and stopped 4 weeks later, experienced no withdrawal. May 2014 started 25mg of sertraline (zoloft), increased to 50mg after 1 week. Remained at 50mg for 4 weeks before increasing to 100mg at the request of my psychiatrist despite advising of suicidal ideation for an additional week before stopping. Advised to drop to 50mg for 3 days before withdrawing altogether. I did as advised and horrendous withdrawal ensued. 11th August 2014 commenced escitalopram (lexapro), weaned off end of October 2014. Commenced Clonazepam December 2014 0.5mg twice daily, switched to Diazepam 10mg twice daily with a view to tapering of the benzodiazepine altogether. Tapering schedule presently at a reduction of 1mg of Diazepam every 1-2 weeks depending upon side effects. So far experienced no severe physical side effects except worsening of PGAD symptoms upon reduction which does seem to improve within a few days of doing so. Presently taking no antidepressants however still experiencing mild agitation, severe depression and PGAD which is currently being treated by a physiotherapist.

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Hello Againstallodds nice to meet you. I just read your thread and a lot of what you have to say I identify as being the same for me. 

In the early days I found the sounds of the ocean were helpful as it did not remind my ruminating terrorizing brain of anything ...even quiet music would remind my brain of something it could bug me about. Yes I know I may sound like I thought my mind was the enemy and that may look silly to folks not living this but for a time there it was my enemy.  Constantly attacking me... with incessant phrases.  I completely stopped listening to any music as for some reason tv radio ect all caused songs to repeat in my head over and over.  yes I did isolate myself as there is music everywhere even elevators... doctors offices... on the street stores... it is constant. 

So for me escape was the sound of the ocean I had a lot of body pain and twitches and spasms ...muscles that seemed to torch is strange ways when I slept. I learned heat helped with the pain so my prescription was heat on my spine and headphones with the ocean playing. It truly helped me. 

I personally preferred a been bag sort of pad that heats in the microwave it felt better to me - better than an electric heating pad. 

 

One more thing about heat on the spine I read a long time ago that heat on the spine increases the amounts of norepinephrine in the brain ... I truly don't know if that is a good thing or not but it did help me immensely.  I would do this a few times a day. 

 

Having a bath is epsom salt if you have that where you  live could help it gives you body magnesium thru you skin.  i could not tolerate magnesium supplements   

 

I learned one real helpful thing  from the book called "The Power of Now"  when you brain is running away with you life this is how to stop it... watch for you next thought... wait and watch for it... for some reason this quietens the brain down it did for me.  I did practice it constantly after I found it sadly I did not find it when I was in the beginning stages your in now still I think it is worth a shot. Read the book too if you can focus to read it is a good one. 

 

So much of what you say hits home for me I had to make some sort of attempt to reach out to you as I see myself in you in how you seeing your withdrawal some day we may talk about that but for now developing skills and getting tools is the priority. 

 

The EFT was something I did use when i was at my worst and I will say it did help me I found it on utube for free and did the one with the guy in the red shirt... you will know you have the right video when you hear him say 

"Even tho I feel this way I completely accept myself"  That is you guy it helped me even tho the first time I did it I felt like an idiot as you have to tap different parts of you hand and face it works by accupressure hence the tapping it hitting certain important nerves.  The worlds you say are important for you brain to hear and to accept self... like I said i was at war with things in my head so getting them on my side made a big difference even if it was hit and miss to start with. 

 

The first time i did the EFT I felt only the tiniest improvement so tiny I thought it could have been nothing but it was there and improved each time i did it which was not that often after awhile as I could not get the computer to myself and could not do the tapping in front of people... I live in a shared place. 

 

I see you able to exercise so will not go there I was not able to do for a long time I managed only walking  One more thing if you going to add any supplements PLEASE  go slow take on 1/6th the recommended dose because if you have a reaction it could make things so much worse...yes it can get worse I would not have believed it either.  

 

So those are my few suggestions for now.

I did try a few drugs in the beginning to try to help lyrica was one mirapx likely after attempting to reinstate an antidepressant none of them worked for me they all made the situation worse. I continue to have reactions to drugs to this day which have cause more problems along the healing road.  

 

It will get better in time and when this is going on keep in your heart that this is drug withdrawal not you and it will get better. 

 

Sorry you have to be here but since you are I wish you healing and peace. B

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

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  • Moderator Emeritus

It's my impression that AAO didn't have a problem with obsessive thoughts until withdrawal. It's not an uncommon withdrawal symptom.

 

AAO, it's hard to say how it a reinstatement will go after this much time. It could help. It could make things worse. We have seen it go either way.

 

In order to be safe, the best approach is to start with a very small amount and see what happens. I would not recommend 5 mg at first. I would start with something smaller.

 

The safest thing would be to see if you can get the liquid formulation. They do make a liquid form of paroxetine (Seroxat). Even if the stores in your area do not carry it, you should be able to get a prescription for it and get it from an online pharmacy. 

 

Once you get the liquid form you can measure 1 mg. I would not start with more than that.

Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. 

Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010.  Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea.

 

Feb 15 2010:  300 mg Neurontin  200 Lamictal   10 Celexa      0.65 Xanax   and 5 mg Ambien 

Feb 10 2014:   62 Lamictal    1.1 Celexa         0.135 Xanax    1.8 Valium

Feb 10 2015:   50 Lamictal      0.875 Celexa    0.11 Xanax      1.5 Valium

Feb 15 2016:   47.5 Lamictal   0.75 Celexa      0.0875 Xanax    1.42 Valium    

2/12/20             12                       0.045               0.007                   1 

May 2021            7                       0.01                  0.0037                1

Feb 2022            6                      0!!!                     0.00167               0.98                2.5 mg Ambien

Oct 2022       4.5 mg Lamictal    (off Celexa, off Xanax)   0.95 Valium    Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet 

 

I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion.

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I think starting extremely low as suggested is the best advice if you decide to try it 

peace

WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG
Had a car accident in 85
Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89
Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year
Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above.
One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking.

As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/

There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in :)

Link to comment

I have struggled with OCD my whole life.

 

I genuinely believe that antidepressants are not the way forward. I'd be a hypocrite to say that you should now avoid them at all costs but I truly believe that if OCD is the root cause of your depression and anxiety that you should avoid reinstating antidepressants if you can. It's a hard slog but psychological not chemical intervention is your best approach at healing yourself.

 

Search Mark Freeman OCD on youtube, he's incredibly insightful at how best to attack your anxiety issues.

 

Seek out a good therapist that has experience in dealing with OCD, CBT and most importantly ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention).

 

The key to beating OCD is essentially to stop caring about your obsessions regardless of their content, if you can learn to do that you'll be free and you'll probably find that your depression will lift in the process.

 

Good luck and god bless.

 

 

Thank you for your response 
It is possible that all my life I suffered from OCD without really giving it a name 
I remember that as a kid I had a little compulsive habits, It wasnt significant then , well, there are a lot of kids that show compulsive behavior and grow up to be without OCD .. I do not really know .. Who knows for sure, I think the drug might have created the OCD, I do not remember until late age of  something similar to what I experience now, but it does not really matter now .. anyway, my situation now is so difficult im not sure if cognitive work really help at the moment, It's really out of control, negative intrusive thoughts all the time, I dream about them at night, get up with them in the morning and drags them all day no matter what I do and with who I am .. No one should suffer in this way, it's not fair, who said life is fair..wrong!!
Can I ask how you get along with the OCD? Are you still on pills? Have they helped you? As I said I really do not like these drugs but if It will continue with such force ill repeat it just to stand on my feet

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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Sorry for the late reply.

 

In my experience AD's can aggravate OCD. It's an anxiety disorder and if the meds increase your anxiety you better believe you'll have a relentless surge of intrusive thoughts and obsessions.

 

You have to stop your compulsions in order to break the cycle. First you'll need to identify what these compulsions are. If it's intrusive thoughts my guess is your main offender will be ruminating (analyzing your obsessions, continually looking for an answer which will finally satisfy you sufficiently enough to calm your anxiety) Never going to happen! This is a compulsion like any other, it will only worsen your condition but can be prevented.

 

If you're desperate and decide to try another AD I've been told that clomipramine (anafranil) is the most effective when treating OCD.

December 2008 Prescribed 20mg citalopram (celexa) for depression and OCD.July 2013 stopped taking citalopram (celexa). November 2013 reinstated citalopram (celexa) following replapse at 20mg for 4 weeks, 40mg for 4 weeks and tapered off over 4 weeks as my condition had deteriorated. February 2014 started 20mg of fluoxetine (prozac). Didn't tolerate it and stopped 4 weeks later, experienced no withdrawal. May 2014 started 25mg of sertraline (zoloft), increased to 50mg after 1 week. Remained at 50mg for 4 weeks before increasing to 100mg at the request of my psychiatrist despite advising of suicidal ideation for an additional week before stopping. Advised to drop to 50mg for 3 days before withdrawing altogether. I did as advised and horrendous withdrawal ensued. 11th August 2014 commenced escitalopram (lexapro), weaned off end of October 2014. Commenced Clonazepam December 2014 0.5mg twice daily, switched to Diazepam 10mg twice daily with a view to tapering of the benzodiazepine altogether. Tapering schedule presently at a reduction of 1mg of Diazepam every 1-2 weeks depending upon side effects. So far experienced no severe physical side effects except worsening of PGAD symptoms upon reduction which does seem to improve within a few days of doing so. Presently taking no antidepressants however still experiencing mild agitation, severe depression and PGAD which is currently being treated by a physiotherapist.

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It's my impression that AAO didn't have a problem with obsessive thoughts until withdrawal. It's not an uncommon withdrawal symptom.

 

AAO, it's hard to say how it a reinstatement will go after this much time. It could help. It could make things worse. We have seen it go either way.

 

In order to be safe, the best approach is to start with a very small amount and see what happens. I would not recommend 5 mg at first. I would start with something smaller.

 

The safest thing would be to see if you can get the liquid formulation. They do make a liquid form of paroxetine (Seroxat). Even if the stores in your area do not carry it, you should be able to get a prescription for it and get it from an online pharmacy. 

 

Once you get the liquid form you can measure 1 mg. I would not start with more than that.

I went to the doctor and he did not know about the liquid version, I asked at the pharmacy, they also had no knowledge of the liquid version, I read your message after I've started  5 mg, the situation was acute and I could not wait any longer 
Im taking for two days now 
I felt a significant improvement today Since afternoon, the terrible fires died down, the madness down .. it's a good sign, I'm not going to get the dosage, I'm not looking to be high just to feel human again 
I hope I did not open her mouth to devil...
Thank you very much for your help (:

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

Link to comment

Sorry for the late reply.

 

In my experience AD's can aggravate OCD. It's an anxiety disorder and if the meds increase your anxiety you better believe you'll have a relentless surge of intrusive thoughts and obsessions.

 

You have to stop your compulsions in order to break the cycle. First you'll need to identify what these compulsions are. If it's intrusive thoughts my guess is your main offender will be ruminating (analyzing your obsessions, continually looking for an answer which will finally satisfy you sufficiently enough to calm your anxiety) Never going to happen! This is a compulsion like any other, it will only worsen your condition but can be prevented.

 

If you're desperate and decide to try another AD I've been told that clomipramine (anafranil) is the most effective when treating OCD.

Thank you for your response
I'm not sure I understood correctly (my English is not a hit) 
Are you saying that if I try to break the OCD by understanding and analyzing the OCD actually going to be much worse? If that's what you mean  I completely agree, but.. there is a trap .. Try to understand the OCD it is impossible, it only exacerbates the problem 
to ignore  Also impossible, the essence of OCD that just is not leaving
There are degrees of OCD and if there is a scale of 1 to 10 I am at least 30 .. 
There is no escape from trying again to find a balance 
Then slowly, very slowly go down .. 
Anfrnil is the last drug I tried it was so so bad, it actually worsened my OCD and put me in severe depression but everyone is different and what works for others may not work on me .. 
I am now on Seroxat and hope it gets better (:

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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Hello Againstallodds nice to meet you. I just read your thread and a lot of what you have to say I identify as being the same for me. 

In the early days I found the sounds of the ocean were helpful as it did not remind my ruminating terrorizing brain of anything ...even quiet music would remind my brain of something it could bug me about. Yes I know I may sound like I thought my mind was the enemy and that may look silly to folks not living this but for a time there it was my enemy.  Constantly attacking me... with incessant phrases.  I completely stopped listening to any music as for some reason tv radio ect all caused songs to repeat in my head over and over.  yes I did isolate myself as there is music everywhere even elevators... doctors offices... on the street stores... it is constant. 

So for me escape was the sound of the ocean I had a lot of body pain and twitches and spasms ...muscles that seemed to torch is strange ways when I slept. I learned heat helped with the pain so my prescription was heat on my spine and headphones with the ocean playing. It truly helped me. 

I personally preferred a been bag sort of pad that heats in the microwave it felt better to me - better than an electric heating pad. 

 

One more thing about heat on the spine I read a long time ago that heat on the spine increases the amounts of norepinephrine in the brain ... I truly don't know if that is a good thing or not but it did help me immensely.  I would do this a few times a day. 

 

Having a bath is epsom salt if you have that where you  live could help it gives you body magnesium thru you skin.  i could not tolerate magnesium supplements   

 

I learned one real helpful thing  from the book called "The Power of Now"  when you brain is running away with you life this is how to stop it... watch for you next thought... wait and watch for it... for some reason this quietens the brain down it did for me.  I did practice it constantly after I found it sadly I did not find it when I was in the beginning stages your in now still I think it is worth a shot. Read the book too if you can focus to read it is a good one. 

 

So much of what you say hits home for me I had to make some sort of attempt to reach out to you as I see myself in you in how you seeing your withdrawal some day we may talk about that but for now developing skills and getting tools is the priority. 

 

The EFT was something I did use when i was at my worst and I will say it did help me I found it on utube for free and did the one with the guy in the red shirt... you will know you have the right video when you hear him say 

"Even tho I feel this way I completely accept myself"  That is you guy it helped me even tho the first time I did it I felt like an idiot as you have to tap different parts of you hand and face it works by accupressure hence the tapping it hitting certain important nerves.  The worlds you say are important for you brain to hear and to accept self... like I said i was at war with things in my head so getting them on my side made a big difference even if it was hit and miss to start with. 

 

The first time i did the EFT I felt only the tiniest improvement so tiny I thought it could have been nothing but it was there and improved each time i did it which was not that often after awhile as I could not get the computer to myself and could not do the tapping in front of people... I live in a shared place. 

 

I see you able to exercise so will not go there I was not able to do for a long time I managed only walking  One more thing if you going to add any supplements PLEASE  go slow take on 1/6th the recommended dose because if you have a reaction it could make things so much worse...yes it can get worse I would not have believed it either.  

 

So those are my few suggestions for now.

I did try a few drugs in the beginning to try to help lyrica was one mirapx likely after attempting to reinstate an antidepressant none of them worked for me they all made the situation worse. I continue to have reactions to drugs to this day which have cause more problems along the healing road.  

 

It will get better in time and when this is going on keep in your heart that this is drug withdrawal not you and it will get better. 

 

Sorry you have to be here but since you are I wish you healing and peace. B

Thank you for the detailed answer, I appreciate it 
I'm sorry you did not find the balance when you tried to go back to drugs, as I said I really do not like the idea of ​​a return to take them, but really, I'm a complete mess, not working, not cleaning, not showering ..Although I can do some activities here and there I do not call it living, Impossible 
I'm two days with the drugs and hope to be balanced otherwise I really go crazy 
About the proposed treatment methods 
They certainly seem to me as something that can help, but only after I find some balance, it is clear to me that the drug will not "fix" me 100% but give me room to breathe and then start working 
By the way 
I know a different connotation for "The Power of Now"  and it helped me shortly after I stopped the drugs but the situation then was not so bad as now, I believe in this method and ill Return to practice it
 
How do you deal now?

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Glad you are feeling a little better AAO.  Reinstating can make a huge difference! Hopefully 

the OCD will improve a little when you begin to stabilise but could take a while.  I don't mean

that it will be cured but maybe lessen in severity as withdrawal does make it much worse for

many people. 

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Glad you are feeling a little better AAO.  Reinstating can make a huge difference! Hopefully 

the OCD will improve a little when you begin to stabilise but could take a while.  I don't mean

that it will be cured but maybe lessen in severity as withdrawal does make it much worse for

many people. 

thanks mammaP

I really hope Reinstating take effect
I feel so so bad this morning, Anxiety / Panic's so hard that actually Makes my body go up in flames, it physically hurts
My sleep has improved a little, but I notice that when I get up it takes me less than a second until my brain starts to mess with everything that bothers me and it makes me terribly anxious
Some mornings I get up "clean" I mean, I think about all the bad things but do not get panic and there is mornings like today that it's horrible, what comes before what? 
My ability to get / put up with difficult things is zero .. 
Some things I've done I'm sorry about 
I can not change them 
My mind refuses to accept that this is how it will be
These things running around in my head non-stop And make me a terrible panic .. 
Does not make sense

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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is it could get worse before it gets bette inr the existing dose (5 mg Seroxat) or could be that the body can not stand it? 

What is the correct indication? My mornings are worse but a little better in the evening 

Sorry I know i sound very very stressful, i am, im Terrified

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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Makes sense to me, but I can't say how it makes sense, if you follow me! 

 

Maybe the 5mg is a bit too much for you, if it gets worse then that is an indication that you are 

not tolerating it very well, that is why Rhi recommended 1mg to start. If you start low you can go

up but start higher and you can have a reaction. I would reduce the dose to 1mg if possible. 

Ask you doctor for a prescription for the liquid which is much easier to taper, you can measure 

very tiny doses and dilute if necessary.  

 

If you cannot get the liquid you could make a liquid from your tablets. Here are instructions how

to do that.  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2693-how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules/

**I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge.

 

 

Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem)

1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat

2002  effexor. 

Tapered  March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads.

Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013

Restarted taper  Nov 2013  

OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015    :D 

Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014

 

Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg  

 July 2017 30mg.  May 15 2018 25mg

Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. 

 

My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33

 

Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible

 

 

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Makes sense to me, but I can't say how it makes sense, if you follow me! 

 

Maybe the 5mg is a bit too much for you, if it gets worse then that is an indication that you are 

not tolerating it very well, that is why Rhi recommended 1mg to start. If you start low you can go

up but start higher and you can have a reaction. I would reduce the dose to 1mg if possible. 

Ask you doctor for a prescription for the liquid which is much easier to taper, you can measure 

very tiny doses and dilute if necessary.  

 

If you cannot get the liquid you could make a liquid from your tablets. Here are instructions how

to do that.  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2693-how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules/

Thanks for the link 
 
I was looking for liquid version, didnt found
I have to be a pharmacist to get it right 
But if it would be intolerable ill try to do the liquid version
 
I know there is no definite answer, Maybe from your experience / others
if there is a deterioration in the beginning is it necessarily mean it will not work,
Or perhaps after a few days it will calm down and start  working?
 

1998 was hospitalized due to anorexica-gave me citaloparm-didnt have anxiety, depression, OCD 

2002-Paroxetine,05-escitaloparm,06-fluoxetine,07-zoloft (3 times), 09-Prozac (2 times)-(Most SSRI made mania)

general drugs I took:*ZIPREXA,Risperdal,Saphris,Seroquel,Clopixol*efexor/venlafaxine,Cymbalta*lamictal,Tegretol*sorbon,Lyrica up to 75 mg,wallbotrin*Prothiazine-once in a while*Clonex,Vaben,Lorivan,Xanax,Assival

2012-Favoksil up to 200 mg for  4 m, Cause  hospitalized in a mental hospital

2012-venlafaxine-was on it for 5-6 m-Worse after-lamictal, saphris-no help

2013 zoloft 50 mg-Made me eczema's so bad I had to stop immediately and take steroids

Prednisone-up to 60 mg for 1.5 month-made me very high-got off gradually and went back to hell

7/2013-3 m-start Anafranil up to 150 mg-Very very bad-Come down every week-125 mg,100 mg,75 mg,50 mg,25 mg,12.5 mg.Clean since 22.12.13

took omega 3, magnesium, niacin, vitamin B before the withdrawal,now it seems my body Allergic, taking vitamin D for months still low on blood tests

13.8.14-Due to a terrible withdrawal Start of Seroxat 5 M"g- too strong 15.8.14 Reduced to 2.5 mg

 

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