Ssriwarrior Posted November 13, 2014 Author Share Posted November 13, 2014 Hey there, A quick update. had a few bad days this week. mainly MAJOR sadness and feeling very worthless. hoping this is not a wave and just from me ovulating, as I tend to notice mood symptoms during ovulation or my period. Or if I'm still just grieving the loss of all my old vices, sugar, coffee, and alcohol. . I actually have always eaten fairly healthy but did like to indulge in all 3 from time to time and it feels a bit like being punished. my motivation to stay off the medications is keeping me going with the paleo diet. this too shall pass. I'm also going to start back in acupuncture once a week. there is a great clinic in my city that offers group acupuncture for a sliding scale, and i found an acupuncturist that is sympathetic and is trying to understand the withdrawal process and very supportive to help me get off. it's only $15 a session, so i am looking for more ways to support my body/mind right now. so the truth is, I'm a therapist. I work part time doing individual and group therapy and have been doing this for almost 4 years now. prior to that I have worked in research settings in mental health clinics. when i had the spiritual awakening and my eyes were opened to the dangers of psychotropic medications, it created an upheaval in my career identity to say the least. it truly breaks my heart to hear and see and be a part of the system which has contributed to so much suffering in my own life. I feel like a fraud some days. even though I have my own struggles, I think I'm a damn good therapist, as I give it my all. of course I don't ever refer a client to a psychiatrist, but lots of them already have one. i have done over 10 years of my own individual therapy and I have been working with a therapist to get support during my withdrawal process. one day, my dream is to open up a clinic or retreat center to help people get off antidepressants. but first I have to survive it myself! i'm rather ashamed to admit my profession. i have this facade of having it all together and most of my friends and colleagues have no idea I take drugs. fear is still creeping in. while I'm holding at 2.5 for longer than my original plan, I cannot seem to shake this feeling that the other shoe could drop and things could get even worse when I stop that last 2 mg. from what i've read people can have withdrawal symptoms for 18+ months after fully coming off. the gift that keeps on giving. HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 I feel that I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel ATM but WHEN I get through this, I totally would like to try and establish something like a retreat centre for people going through this..and campaign work. Very brave to share your story! 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
LexAnger Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 Hi warrior, we had a similar lex history and I was also hit badly at 2.5 although my taper from 10 to 2.5 was much faster. For your future reduction, I highly suggest you to read this thread, that is what I am doing, a micro taper by 1% reduction holding for 2-3 weeks over 7 some years. Link will be sent in the next post as I have to go there copy the URL Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
LexAnger Posted November 14, 2014 Share Posted November 14, 2014 http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2364-the-slowness-of-slow-tapers/ Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted November 14, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 14, 2014 SW, thanks for sharing that with us. I'm sure it must be hard. I'm not a therapist but for about 15 years on the meds I was so convinced they were saving my life and I told other people they were good, and I feel terrible about that now. It's hard going through what you're going through (with WD on top!) but you are going to be an amazing support and resource someday for people who don't want to take meds or want to taper off them. You'll be part of the solution. You might want to take a look at the Mad In America website, there are a lot of professionals who post there occasionally. Also Beyond Meds has some good stuff by and for and about alternative healing. Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
btdt Posted November 15, 2014 Share Posted November 15, 2014 Hey there, A quick update. had a few bad days this week. mainly MAJOR sadness and feeling very worthless. hoping this is not a wave and just from me ovulating, as I tend to notice mood symptoms during ovulation or my period. Or if I'm still just grieving the loss of all my old vices, sugar, coffee, and alcohol. . I actually have always eaten fairly healthy but did like to indulge in all 3 from time to time and it feels a bit like being punished. my motivation to stay off the medications is keeping me going with the paleo diet. this too shall pass. I'm also going to start back in acupuncture once a week. there is a great clinic in my city that offers group acupuncture for a sliding scale, and i found an acupuncturist that is sympathetic and is trying to understand the withdrawal process and very supportive to help me get off. it's only $15 a session, so i am looking for more ways to support my body/mind right now. so the truth is, I'm a therapist. I work part time doing individual and group therapy and have been doing this for almost 4 years now. prior to that I have worked in research settings in mental health clinics. when i had the spiritual awakening and my eyes were opened to the dangers of psychotropic medications, it created an upheaval in my career identity to say the least. it truly breaks my heart to hear and see and be a part of the system which has contributed to so much suffering in my own life. I feel like a fraud some days. even though I have my own struggles, I think I'm a damn good therapist, as I give it my all. of course I don't ever refer a client to a psychiatrist, but lots of them already have one. i have done over 10 years of my own individual therapy and I have been working with a therapist to get support during my withdrawal process. one day, my dream is to open up a clinic or retreat center to help people get off antidepressants. but first I have to survive it myself! i'm rather ashamed to admit my profession. i have this facade of having it all together and most of my friends and colleagues have no idea I take drugs. fear is still creeping in. while I'm holding at 2.5 for longer than my original plan, I cannot seem to shake this feeling that the other shoe could drop and things could get even worse when I stop that last 2 mg. from what i've read people can have withdrawal symptoms for 18+ months after fully coming off. the gift that keeps on giving. 15 bucks what a great deal... happy your found it.. when a treatment protocol is set you can offer it at your clinic when it opens. We all have regrets when it comes to these drugs my recommendation is in part the reason a few of my relatives and friends are taking Effexor... I have kept one person off Ads to date that I know of... in real life not online activity. I have tried countless times to get thru to these folks and talk them into reading about Ads visiting this site ect...but so far none of them have and I think I have been so obnoxious about it we don't relate much anymore. Or it is so completely against everything I am about now as I struggle with this ... I can't bare to look into their drugged eyes ... now I can see how they have changed since starting the drugs... I hate that I was part of it. I don't know how you keep your cool and work with people who take them... I guess you are very professional. My hat is off to you... looking forward to your clinic opening. I am trying to read medication madness I think this is a very good book for a therapist to read... I keep getting stuck and doubt I will finish it... but must recommend it. Wishing you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 20, 2014 Administrator Share Posted November 20, 2014 Ssriwarrior, we need therapists who understand withdrawal, too! Perhaps when you feel up to it, you can train your colleagues. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted November 21, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 21, 2014 Hey Warrior. I can relate to being part of a system that professes to help when in some cases actuality it hurts people. I'm a teacher. That mental tug o war will wear on you. Hang in there. You're doing great. And I remember the day I revealed on here that I was a teacher. It was a difficult thing to do. Kudos. RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted November 23, 2014 Author Share Posted November 23, 2014 Thanks for the love y'all! While it was terrifying to reveal my profession, I feel a lot of freedom in not having to lead this double life in secret. I have some questions for you: 1) I got the liquid lexapro 5mg/5ml and I just measure it to 2.25 ml and that is the same as 2.25 mg? that sounds like a simple question but just want to be 100% sure I'm doing this right 2) I got the ingredient list from the pharmacist for both the pill and the liquid form and here is what it says: tablets: talc, croscarmellose sodium, microcrystalline cellulose/colloidal silicon dioxide, and magnesium sterarate. The film coating contains hypromellose, titanium dioxide, and polyethylene glycol. oral solution: sorbitol, purified water, citric acid, sodium citrate, malice acid, glycerine, propylene glycol, methylparaben, propylparaben, and natural peppermint flavor does anyone have a chemistry background? Or familiar with these ingredients? I'm eating a strict no sugar, no gluten, no dairy diet and when I have any of these things I get a major flare up of symptoms..... THANKS in advance HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 27, 2014 Administrator Share Posted November 27, 2014 You should contact the manufacturers to find out if either product contains sugar or gluten (I don't either in the ingredient lists; you may wish to research sorbitol). In liquid lexapro 5mg/5ml, 2.25 ml = 2.25 mg This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 1, 2014 Author Share Posted December 1, 2014 Hey folks, Some questions for you. I'm having reservations about taking the liquid Lexapro because of the sorbitol. It sounds like it is sugar alcohol, which technically will feed the "candida" yeast overgrowth I've been working so hard to combat with my diet. Also, the parabens and other new ingredients in the liquid form seem like introducing another variable into my system and I like the idea of just continuing with the pill, since my body is already adapted to that and so highly sensitive to sugar right now. But those are the inactive ingredients, so maybe I'm overthinking... 1) what are pros/cons with making your own liquid at home? 2) what are the pros/cons with using the digital scale? I am leaning towards the scale to measure it out...seems less prone to error. I'm fearful of trying to make my own liquid because it seems like there are more variables for that route to have mistakes. I have all the supplies though to try to make my own liquid and I may just do a test batch to see how it goes. I've been feeling well despite the stress of the holidays (traveling, family, etc) and am ready to do my next taper, but feeling a little unsure on best form of medication. HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted December 1, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 1, 2014 I tried effexor liquid and had a reaction to one/some of the ingredients so went back to counting beads. I think I would prefer to make liquid if it was possible for my taper because at the very low doses it would be very difficult to measure. Rhi makes and some other members make their own liquid successfully. In case you haven't seen it there is a topic on making your own liquid here. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2693-how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules/ Let usknow if you try it and how you get on. **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 13, 2014 Author Share Posted December 13, 2014 Hey there, I need some support...understanding. I'm feeling a lot of fear about how best to taper. I tried to take the liquid lexapro and it did weird things to my stomach in addition to making me feel very irritable and angry. do you think this would subside over time? It makes me sick that I spent over $200 on this liquid version and can't use it. I would love to share it with someone, but that's illegal right? So I asked my PCP to write a script for the compounded lexapro (2.25mg) and when i went to pick it up at the compounding pharmacy the pharmacist said my dr thought i was tapering too slowly and went ahead and called it in for 1.25! WTF?!? this is largely inconvenient. so i've been doubling up on the dose to equal it out to 2.25 but there were a few days in between when I was trying to figure out what to do that i was still slicing pills and i think I've messed up my dosing by it not being accurate. I also ordered the digital scale off amazon and ended up having to send it back because i was getting a different reading every single time. it made me too nervous, too unpredictable. i also tried making my own liquid w the 5mg tabs i have and it didn't seem to be a thoroughly mixed constitution with parts of it sticking to the bottle? maybe i should try again? it just makes me nervous not to know if it's the same every time. so now i'm trying to find a doctor who will work with me on prescribing low doses for the next 6 months or so, and I'm frankly feeling defeated. i'm trying so hard to do this taper right and it just feels like there are so many roadblocks. why does it have to be so difficult to taper?!? i'm also feeling lots and lots of fear and i think it is related to not accurate dosing. fear I'm going to have to quit my job and not be able to function in society and that my husband will leave me. this is all irrational. but definitely a new emotion (likely neuro-emotion) and feels scary almost on the verge of panic. HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 14, 2014 Author Share Posted December 14, 2014 Okay so since stopping the liquid lexapro I'm feeling less of that crazy panic. But I also woke up this morning wondering if I should just go back to 2.5 and stay there indefinitely. I'm just SO SO SO terrified of what is around the corner after the next 2.25 mg after reading everyone's thread I know that what I'm feeling now is nothing in comparison to the WD that I will go through once I finally get off the last 2 mg. I have to still be able to function to work, raise my daughter, and be married. I don't want to lose those 3 domains of my life and with this most recent attempt at tapering and getting a taste of the sense of panic, I just don't know that I can do this. I feel like a sell out. I'm glad that I reduced my dose by almost 8 mg. I feel like that is a huge accomplishment and overall I do feel better to be at this low of a dose. I'm thinking maybe I could try again for the next 2mg after I locate a doctor who is willing to help me and I'm feeling better emotionally. It's very sad for me to admit this. But I also want to be here for my family....this is hard. HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted December 15, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 15, 2014 Hi Ssri warrior, I wanted to say hi to you for a long time now but never got the chance. I feel grateful for sharing your story. I would just like to say that coming down 8 mg is huge and want to reinforce your sense of achievement for doing that. I think you are doing the right thing and there is no need to feel bad. We all wait to taper when we feel stable. Not only relatively free from symptoms but also stable in our life situation or in general relatively secure. In any case, long holds are far from being a faliure or a sign of weakness. On the contrary, they vastly help recovery and make us stronger for future tapering. So give yourself all the time you need till you start feeling comfortable about using the liquid. There is absolutely no need to rush yourself. Actually we have quite a similar history except (big except) there's always been Xanax in the mix for me ;( But I had years on Porzac followed by Zoloft and now Lexapro (around 14 years altogether like you). I don't have a first hand experience with tapering Lexapro using liquid yet. But I have a year of experience making my own liquid to taper Xanax. At first I was totally, totally uncomfortable with the idea and thought it would be impossible. I take Xanax 5 times a day and I simply couldn't believe that dosing with a syringe and particles flying around as I stir it would be accurate but it seems it is! I came down from 2 mg to 1.25. Then I was able to use the "solid" form again and I could see I really came down that much. I can say that it is working although it doesn't look accurate. I don't even crush the pill any more. I just throw it into a bottle with measured water and it disintegrates (it doesn't dissolve, there are particles but it's still accurate). I just make sure I give the mixture a good stir with the syringe before taking the liquid from the middle. I can't say whether the same is true for Lexapro but I expect it to be when I come to handling this one. This is just my experience. But given all the turmoil you are going through righ now I would say you just wait without any guilty conscience till you feel ready. I still believe that if we go extra small and extra slow we don't have to suffer. At least not to the point where it would disturb our life. We just have to find how slow and how small is slow and small enough for us. It could be much less than 10 % and much more than 30 days but in the end the slow turtle wins the race. It seems you were making bigger cuts from 10 % so you still have lots of room for fine tuning. best, Bubble Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
findingme Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Hi All, Has anyone taken Rhodiola to help with withdrawal symptoms , lower cortisol and ramp energy? I had to resort to .25 mg clonazepam a few times in the last week, to ease the constant anxiety ... it helped alot in terms of enabling me to accomplish everyday tasks, but I'd much rather do an herbal supplement if it could help,AND if it isn't contraindicated with Lexapro and Synthroid. Peace, findingme Since approximately 1992 have been on and off Paxil , Prozac(had a horrible reaction), Lorazepam , Celexa, Lexapro, Risperdal ( which was supposed to "kick start" the Lexapro) , and Wellbutrin... By 2013, I was only on Wellbutrin and generic Lexapro ( 20mg) I weaned successfully off the Wellbutrin, but by the time I was down to 10mg Lexapro, I suffered panic attacks on bridges, and creeping depression , July 2014, reinstated 20 mg generic Lexapro Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 THANK YOU BUBBLE! I truly appreciate your response HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted December 16, 2014 Share Posted December 16, 2014 Sorry you are feeling panicked But you may not experience withdrawal badly if you've already been relatively stable but I do understand the fear xx 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 oh and finding me, I tried a supplement with Rhodiola at the urging of a doctor (a dr. who does not understand SSRI withdrawal) and it actually made everything worse! unfortunately, i haven't found a magic bullet. However, Omega 3 fatty acids and magnesium have been key for me. HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 16, 2014 Author Share Posted December 16, 2014 thanks y'all. I don't really know if I have been as stable as I thought given the chaos at a .25 reduction. maybe it was a by product of the doses not being 100% accurate. My fear is that what I'm feeling now (which I guess could be a "depressive episode") is my brain catching up from the almost 8mg reduction. so I'm just so very terrified that if I stop the last 2 mg right now there will be another round of major depression or withdrawal and I don't think I can function as a mother like that. I should add that my mother was hospitalized when I was 8. (she stopped taking her antidepressant) and that was very damaging to me, attachment wise. So that is part of where my fear is coming from, is I DON'T WANT TO REPEAT my history. I did really well going from 10 to 2.5. In hindsight, I did that too fast and I think I may hold another 3 months at 2.5 while I'm trying to locate a doctor that is willing to write compounded prescriptions for me. someone in my town suggested going to a psychiatrist, but in all honesty I can't stomach giving my $$ to any psychiatrist anymore. maybe I need to be more flexible on that one. I may also try making my own liquid again in a few months if i can't find a dr. I'm not thinking clearly and feeling rather overwhelmed so I don't feel like I can do it myself right now, and given that the most recent attempt at a 10% taper was so gnarly, I want to be in a more grounded state before I try again. It feels like failure. But it also feels like self-preservation. Of course I want to be off this poison ASAP, but I get the sense if I rush the taper I will be worse off than my bruised ego from things not going according to my timeline. One last thing about diet! I've been doing paleo several months now, at the recommendation of my naturopath and I "think" it is helping. But then I was talking to a retired physician this past weekend and he suggested an ALKALINE diet, that meat has too much acid and that could be causing mood symptoms. I get a bit overwhelmed by the diet thing because i have been super strict about no sugar, gluten, grains, or dairy. and to be honest the strictness is making me miserable because I can't eat out at restaurants like I used to and avoid dinner parties because I don't want to be the crazy person not eating anything. So overwhelmed on which diet is the "right" diet for withdrawal. I do know 100% that gluten is the devil to my nervous system so that is never coming back into my diet. I appreciate all of you! HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
LexAnger Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I had the exact experience going down from 10 lex to 2.5 one and half yr ago, was hit at 2.5. I'm now messed up by increasing the dose this year to 4.5 and now doing the micro taper, meaning 0.05% reduction. I'm still suffering but I am sure I won't be able to manage what I can now otherwise. If I were you, I would try a much smaller reduction like 0.05. This of course has to be done using the liquid.i wish I knew this last year I might be in a much better situation. Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Help! So yesterday was first day back to 2.5 and I had insomnia the whole night. I was able to lay and deeply relax but didn't sleep an hour. I know we are all very limited in terms of what we can take for sleep, but can someone help me brainstorm? I have some old .25mg xanax and I thought about halfing a half of it tonight. I already take magnesium, but maybe I need more. HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted December 18, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 18, 2014 Slowing down your taper is not failure, its doing what you need to do to get off the drugs and stay off. If you taper too fast and updose when symptoms become unmanageable, then you are going in the wrong direction, its better to slow down, but continue going in the right direction...smaller cuts and longer holds. Some people need to really slow down as the dose gets lower. Please read through: The slowness of slow tapers Also see our topic on micro-tapers http://survivinganti...or-5-decreases/ My experience of using xanax to try and manage withdrawal symptoms was that it caused more problems. I didn't know I was in withdrawal at the time, but I was trying to manage symptoms, like insomnia by taking irregular doses of various drugs, including xanax. The xanax helped at first, but then I needed a higher dose, then it turned paradoxical and increased anxiety. I suggest you try and ride this out, or perhaps increase the magnesium. How much are you taking now? Also see: Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems I think you need to scroll down to the sleep section. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted December 18, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 18, 2014 SSRI..... When you were taking the liquid were you squirting it directly in your mouth or putting it in water and drinking it? The reason I ask... I had trouble with the liquid at first too but I wasn't diluting it with water but putting it on my tongue. I had trouble with that. When I started putting the liquid dose in a small glass of water and drinking it it helped. BUT... the trouble I was having going to the liquid could just have been my body adjusting... I don't know for sure. All I know is that after an initial period of more difficult with drawl, including insomnia, it got better. RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted December 18, 2014 Administrator Share Posted December 18, 2014 Good suggestion, RU. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 19, 2014 Author Share Posted December 19, 2014 thanks you guys! I had another sleepless night last night. I'm wondering if I shot myself in the foot with re-instatement? I was able to sleep the night prior with .3mg of melatonin so I am thinking of trying .5 tonight. Can someone tell me the name of the other supplement that has worked for them that helps with cortisol and nighttime wakings? I will look through the threads but am having a hard time concentrating because I am so tired. I was able to fall asleep last night with the melatonin but was not able to stay asleep after about an hour. eternally thankful for your help! HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 19, 2014 Author Share Posted December 19, 2014 oh and I am taking magnesium glycinate (120mg) 2 x a day....should I take more? HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted December 19, 2014 Moderator Share Posted December 19, 2014 Try taking all of the magnesium 2 hours before bed time instead of spread out over the day. I do that and it really helps me sleep. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted December 20, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 20, 2014 Can someone tell me the name of the other supplement that has worked for them that helps with cortisol and nighttime wakings? I will look through the threads but am having a hard time concentrating because I am so tired. I'm not sure what supplement you mean, but I've found the combination of magnesium and taurine help me. This is what I take which seems to help me sleep. 2 x 200mg magnesium citrate with dinner. When I wake up in the night, which usually happens I then take 200mg magnesium glycinate and 500mg taurine. The magnesium seems to relax my body, the taurine slows my thoughts. I don't think there would be any problem with increasing your magnesium to see if it helps. The glycinate is better absorbed than citrate, and less likely to cause diarrhea. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 20, 2014 Author Share Posted December 20, 2014 thanks again for all your help. I'm going to up the magnesium tonight. I was able to get 6 hours of sleep last night with doing the .5 melatonin. And it's ok to take melatonin every day indefinitely??? I thought I read somewhere that you needed to take a break every 7 days? I will add the Taurine too. HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 My apologies for all the posts! I'm just so lost on what to do next. I think by updosing from 2.25 to 2.50 is what started this insomnia. Did I shoot myself in the foot? Will this level out as my brain adjusts to the change?? I know no one knows for sure. But since I have been struggling to sleep ever since going back up to 2.5 I'm wondering if it is over stimulating. I guess I'm looking for hope that this is due to the updose. I'm on vacation so it's good timing but I shutter to think how I could work and run a household on reduced sleep. I don't want to keep switching doses as I know that is tumultuous. Stay at 2.50? Try 2.45? HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
LexAnger Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 Increasing dose of lex to 4.5 caused me lots severe problems ( not sleeping problem though) after holding a year on 2.7. Even more problems cutting back after just a week on 4.5. I had to taper very tiny amount like 0.025 holding for couple weeks now I'm on 4. So if you think you had bad reaction to the up dose, you may want to lower the dose gradually by trying a tiny amount see what the right reduction works. Drug free Sep. 23 2017 2009 Mar.: lexapro 10mg for headache for 2 weeks. 2009-2012: on and off 1/4 to 1/3 of 10mg 2012 June--2013 Jan,: 1/4-1/3 of 10mg generic, bad jaw pain 2013 Jan-Mar: 10 mg generic. severe jaw and head pain; 2013 Mar--Aug. started tapering (liquid ever since) from 10 to 5 (one step) then gradually down to 2.25 mg by July. first ever panic attack, severe head/jaw pain 2013 Aug.: back to 2.75 mg; Nov: back to Brand Lex. 2.75mg -- 3mg, 2014 June: stopped PPI, head pressure/numbness. up-dosed 4.5mg, severe reaction mental symptoms added on 2014 Aug--2015 Aug: Micro taper down to 3.2mg, .025mg (<1%) cut holding 2-3 weeks. 2015 Aug 15th, Accidental one dose of 4.2mg. worsening brain non-functional, swollen head, body, coma like, DR 2016 Feb., started dosing 10am through 11 pm everyday 2/13--3.2mg, 3/15-- 2.9mg, 4/19-- 2.6mg, 6/26--2.2mg, 7/22 --1.9mg, 8/16--1.8mg，8/31--1.7m g, 9/13--1.6mg, 9/27--1.5mg, 10/8--1.4mg, 10/14--1.3mg， 11/1--1.2mg, 11/29--1.1mg, 12/12--1mg, 12/22--0.9mg 2017: 1/7--0.8mg, 1/15--0.7mg, 1/17--0.6mg, 1/20--0.52, 1/21--0.4mg, 1/22--0.26, 1/23--0.2, 2/13--0.13mg, 2/20--0.06mg, 3/18--0.13mg, 6/1--0.12mg, 7/6--0.1mg, 7/14--0.08mg, 8/17--0.04mg, 8/20--0.03mg, 8/28--0.02mg, 9/6--0.0205mg, 9/8--0.02mg, 9/17--0.015mg, 9/20--0.01mg, 9/21--0.0048mg, 9/22--0.0001mg, Link to comment
Sparrow Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 I think the supplement you were asking about re: cortisol issues is phosphatidyl serine (Seriphos). I too successfully tapered from 10 mg to 2.5 mg Lexapro and then hit the wall. (After several years of multiple drug tapering, I should add.) What is it about this dosage that seems to be problematic for so many of us, I wonder. 2009-2011: tapered off Trazodone, Namenda, Lamictal, Dextroamphetamine, Zyprexa; cold-turkeyed Pristiq; reduced Lexapro dose 50%.On clonazepam since 2004, 0.5 - 1.0 mg daily PRN. Three failed (too rapid) partial tapers, 2010 - 2011.Dec. 2011 - March 2013: Tapered off 0.5 mg clonazepam (Klonopin) August 2013: Switched to liquid escitalopram (Lexapro) and began tapering from 10 mg. January 2014: 4.5 mg escitalopram March 2014: One year off benzos May 2014: 3.0 mg escitalopram June 2014: severe depression, updosed to 4.0 mg Sept 1, 2014: 2.7 mg Dec 7, 2014: Can't get below 2.5 mg without unbearable symptoms. Doing an extended hold (I hope) March 2015: TWO YEARS POST-BENZO Link to comment
Ssriwarrior Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 Ok, I am wondering if I should titrate up from 2.25 to 2.5? a little slower. or is that causing more instability? Stay at 2.5 or try lower and work back up to 2.5, can a moderater chime in? I'm so scared I'm not going to be able to work or be a mother if I'm not sleeping. last night was another night of poor sleep. Also, what about Benadryl? Has anyone tried a half of a half of benadryl? Or should I increase the melatonin? I'm not waking up weepy, but rather panicked because I don't know how I'll make it through another day so sleep deprived. At night, I can sometimes fall asleep easily, sometimes not. I ususally wake up around 2 with my heart pounding. I'm so so tired, my body is tired and relaxed, even my breathing but my brain just won't go to sleep. HISTORY: Lexapro 10mg (current and for approximately 7 years; Prozac 20mg for 5 years and Zoloft 50mg for 5 years) Lexapro (too fast taper) 9mg 09/13; 8mg 10/13; 7mg 12/13; 6mg 02/14; 5mg 04/14; 4mg 06/14 2.5mg 08/29/14 2.25 mg 12/04/14; Re-instatement - 2.5mg 12/17/14; 03/01/15 3.0 mg; 04/01/15 - 5mg; 05/01/15 6mg; 5/15/15 6.5mg 6/01/15 7.5mg 2nd attempt at micro taper: starting dose is 7.5mg using liquid compounded rx: 12/16/17 - 7mg; 02/05/18 - 6.75mg 04/06/18 - 6.5ml 05/31/18 re-instate back to 6.75mg Link to comment
DLB Posted December 21, 2014 Share Posted December 21, 2014 I'm in the same boat as you ssri, I use valerian tea and tart cherry concentrate for sleep. Also, when really bad I use doxylamine succinate and that knocks me out cold. Paxil start September 2003 due to Fluoroquinolone adverse reaction that I wish doc. knew what it was. 10mg. most of the time with a few short runs of 20mg. FAST tapered 3 times and finally hit poop out or a reaction to nsaid's in Nov.2013. Started a 10% taper Jan. 2014 and have been ok until Sept 14 and went through a short hell. Now plodding through and looking for the light with unrelenting insomnia and pain, fog, loss of interests....<p>12/20/14 - .8mg. 1/01/15 - .75 mg. 1/15/15 - .42 mg. better sleep now, hope it continues... 2/11-15 - .25 mg. doing really good!! 2 weeks feel 85% of old me! 3/17/15 .14 mg. Knee pain bad! 4/07/15 .05 mg. this is so small now that I am estimating and just licking it off palm small as a "." 4/13/15 NOTHING !!!! Took my last little micro dose on 4/12/15. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted December 23, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 23, 2014 ssri, I'm sorry you are still having sleep problems. What I've noticed through my time here, reading about experiences is that as people keep making dose changes, trying this and that, to reduce symptoms, the problem just keeps getting worse, each dose change or new supplement tried, often causes more nervous system instability. If you are able to get 6 hours sleep, that's good, many people here are functioning on much less. I average about 6 hours of broken sleep now, but its taken me 19 months of being drug free to get to this. I still have my bad nights, but then it will improve again. Humans can survive on much less sleep than we imagine. Read through this topic with sleeping tips: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/555-tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-withdrawal-insomnia/ Especially this post by Dalsaan: "At my worst, the best that I could do was focus on relaxing rather than sleeping. I found that if I relaxed as much as possible and gave up on the idea of sleep I could get enough rest through the night to put one foot in front of the other the next day. I also found that I was less stressed about it which over time contributed positively to my anxiety levels and thus ability to sleep." read more here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/555-tips-to-help-sleep-so-many-of-us-have-withdrawal-insomnia/?p=110658 I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
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