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Martina23

Martina23: Lyrica

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Martina23

So it's very bad. Now I got the inflammation of the whole bone on which are the teeth on the left side. So the anesthetics can not be avoided anymore. I really dont know.

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Martina23

I am again by the dentist. The whole situation can not be saved anymore. I will take novocaine. I guess now I will have intrusive thoughts again for one month. I am really afraid. She opens at 11.

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Martina23

So I had such a luck. The doctor was marvelous. She said we would try it without anesthetics because she meant when I had a sensitivity to the anesthetics, this is nothing to see it easy. She she did the rooths treatment very slowly without anesthetics. It was bearable. If there is a problem, I should come on Tuesday but she really did it. So now I know, if it is a sensitive doctor, you can do also a root treatment without anesthetics. My life is again beautiful. The only one black spot is that someone stole me my mobil phone. When I came to the work, my mobile phone was away. I think maybe it was such an old lady who came to sit to me in the waiting room, she was 83 and it was nice to speak to her, because she talked a lot. Ok, so my mobile phone vanished. But this is a little thing compared to the tooth.

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Martina23

I think when this tooth pain is over, maybe I would think about really to start this petition here with respect to Lyrica, benzos, psych drugs and against corruption by doctors. I dont think it helps too much here, because the government here is not that much working. Maybe we could start one world wide one and send it to US government, but I am still only in process to think about, if it is effective. But I guess it would be worth to try it.

 

My points would be (which I would want):

 

- that Lyrica and benzos are controlled much more strongly, for both not longer use allowed than 2 weeks (that Lyrica is taken in C class substance)

- that the control studies have to be controlled independently by independent authorities by psych drugs

- that the doctors who take money from pharma can not take part in making public treatment guidlines, DSM etc

- that the bribery is put out of law in doctor proffession

- for checking the admission process of psych meds /corruption in public institutions like FDA, AGES, EMA

- that for the psych medicaments the written consent & thorough information on side effects to be signed by the patient should be necessary prior prescription

 

If someone has some other points, please feel free to mention.

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Martina23

I have still one more idea. I think with this Lyrica case I will also turn to Slovak president. I heard they help when for example children are taken away from parents (like in Norway Barnavern) so maybe they can help also in cases when you got damaged in other state and dont get any justice. It is maybe stupid idea, but there is nothing to lose.The more people know about the problem with psych drugs, the better.

 

The tooth pains still a lot, I already thought today that I would have to go to the hospital. 

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Martina23

They write in the newspaper about a man who went through Africa on his bicycle. I would also like to do that. I spoke about with my colleagues and they meant there can be problem wih the children. That you have to ask the officials (if you want to take children with you) that you will be excused for some months from school. And that if they dont allow it, then it is your problem. I got again angry. I dont understand it. How can someone hinder you to travel with your children - to write and read they can learn later. Travelling is in any case more interesting than so many useless things in school.  I will go and find the way how, if the offials want or not. I could also paint on the way. If we find it beautiful somewhere on the way, we will stay there for a while. And I can write a book about my journeys. It would be really beautiful. I will do it. I only have to plan it for some time, how to do it that it is not so painful for the children.

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Martina23

So I got the letter from Austrian court. Partially I won. She ordered me to pay back only 74 EUR on costs. And I was quite surprised. She wrote me that it is not true that they wrote the address of the children father badly and thus he didnt get it but that US doesnt let through any letters from foreign state organs with respect to their citizens. So it seems that US tries to hinder any prosecutions of their citizens by foreign state organs. Funny,  I didnt know. So the other costs will be written off by the state.

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Martina23

It again started raining. I worry so much about these boys in Thailand which are now stuck in that cave and can not out. When now the rain come, maybe it can cost them life. I so much pray that they will manage to rescue them. There was nothing in newspaper  today.

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Martina23

I was almost to have  a break down a while ago. We came with the children to the restaurant, naturally the children  chose the restaurant, it was not the one where I wanted to go, they seated us, then the children  wanted to go playing to such a playing castle there where you have to pay.So I went there with them in order to pay. When I came back to our seats, they were already occupied by other people. So I went to the waiter to say: Hey, this was our place. And he said Sorry, I never saw you here before. I had really enough. I feel sometimes really only as someone who just has to fulfill wishes of other people, and like a rubber gummi where everyone can kick in. I have really enough for today. Moreover my tooth seems to be broken, so I didnt help myself. I feel totally without energy at the moment.

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Martina23

I am checking this online saving action of these Thailand boys today whole the time. I wish so much that they would save them all.

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Martina23

Today I have quite a black hole depression. I guess it is from the menstruation. It is already  too much for me. Tommorrow I have to go to the work, the whole Saturday and Sunday I fulfilled only the wishes of my children and my wishes disappeared somewhere, I miss having fulfilled my wishes. To go where I want to, to live my life, I have a feeling that I am trapped to live the life which the society wants me to live and my children, but not the life I want to live for myself. I have to gather energy just to start to live as I want. I want so much to go painting  somewhere to Egypt. That is me. Not to make balances daily from 8-5 somewhere by the Chamber of Commerce and to make servant to my children the rest of the time. I wish I could flee to my fantasy to be somewhere in Mexico, see cactuses and live some adventurous life. I wish I am not  a coward enough to break that circle and start my life new, just to go with the mystery. This tooth is also sh*t. It didnt improve at all. Maybe my dentist is not that good. I have to check it second time by someone other.

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Martina23

I think I will try to write a new book. I think it will be again a love story. I realize that I need positive books, because if I imagine something nice in my imagination, than the intrusive thoughts have not much power over me and disappear. But if I think about bad things, the intrusive thoughts come again. So I decide I will write about something beautiful and then I will have in my mind also sun and will be happy and content. And it may make other people happy too.

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Martina23

I feel still frustrated. The tooth is still hurting. I guess she didnt do the work well. I have to go there tomorrow. I am afraid she will make there even bigger hole and sooner or later I will lose the tooth. I get from it depression. I guess I have to find another dentist and go there, but I feel already somewhat beaten up. I get from this all pain headache.

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Martina23

I will go today to the state dentist office. If it doesnt go other, I will take also anesthetics. If I think on it, I get again so afraid. But it doesnt go other, something doesnt fit with this tooth. I have to solve it.

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Martina23

Somewhat I feel to cry. I was by the state dentist who told me it is possible that they will not save the tooth anymore. She did without anesthetics but said the next time she has to do with anesthetic because there is still part of the nerve inside and without I will not hold on. I wanted then that she gives me anesthetics immediately but she closed the tooth mean while and said she would do next time. I am afraid that we will never more save him. But I was a bit angry at the doctor because I told her this with alergical reaction on Lyrica that I got it for pain after caesarian delivery, and she said: Maybe you had postpartum depression instead. I said I didnt. I said these doctors thought this also, gave me something where I was not even told that this is psych medication and it has side effects and suing is not possible because the law doesnt function here. She just looked at me me with open mouth. I didnt have to tell it, but this ignorance made me already angry.

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Martina23

Today I dont know how but my previous boyfriend (when I was 18 - he is already married )  started to chat with me on the facebook. He lives currently in Dubai. He makes there a director of some middle size US company. And he said that he would take/buy some of my pictures as he has no paintings at home but it can not be any naked women which I paint in the last time because he can not put these in Dubai on the walls. We were so much laughing. I told him that unfortunately in the last time I paint only naked women. He laughed that he will have then a limited choice. But it was very funny. I like that at least someone wants my paintings, it is good for motivation.

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Martina23

Hello, does anyone know about a good diet? I really desperately need a good diet. I again put on two kilos. I really want to have again at most 75 kg, I dont want to be fat. 

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direstraits
2 minutes ago, Martina23 said:

Hello, does anyone know about a good diet? I really desperately need a good diet. I again put on two kilos. I really want to have again at most 75 kg, I dont want to be fat. 

that's funny ,I was just thinking about the same thing,feel so fat today.

my stomach is getting bigger all the time...I hate it!

but I have been eating too much junk,too...

do you eat a lot of carbs and sugar,I think that;s the worst for weight gain.

I'm gonna try to cut back on those and see what happens.

 

xx

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Martina23
23 minutes ago, direstraits said:

that's funny ,I was just thinking about the same thing,feel so fat today.

my stomach is getting bigger all the time...I hate it!

but I have been eating too much junk,too...

do you eat a lot of carbs and sugar,I think that;s the worst for weight gain.

I'm gonna try to cut back on those and see what happens.

 

xx

Ok, so I will try from tomorrow for a dinner no bread and for supper food also without bread. I will keep it at least for a week. But it is for me so difficult  because I love good food.

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Martina23

So today I started healthy eating. For dinner I made myself only salad. I cut tomatoes, gherkin and bought goat cheese, which I put to the salad. Maybe tommorrow I will also buy some olives. So that it is right healthy. I will combine it next days with eggs or ham. It is so good. I hope I will lose a lot of weight. Maybe I can try it also with other kinds of vegetables, nuts etc. I am really proud of myself.

 

I just have to do something with me. Because now I have to be all time at work and when I come home in the evening I dont have time to paint anymore. And it is frustrating me. Everywhere you hear: "Nothing is impossible, just do it" and I feel I am just doing what the other people want from me not myself. I have to be brave enough to change. To ask to work less hours or so, because I want to change, just I am afraid to do so as the other people look at me as if it was a mistake.

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Martina23

I will be again a bit out of surviving  antidepressants, because now I feel precisely "this drive" that I would like to start more painting, maybe I will start my new book (nothing special only a few stories). But I like it. To live in some fantasy. I want to change my life, from commercial  working to more creativity, to see more, paint more and accomplish nice things.  With respect  to this Lyrica, if I find someone who wants to help me /us, I will let you know. Till now my tryings were not very successful and I tried a lot.

 

M.

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Carmie
43 minutes ago, Martina23 said:

I will be again a bit out of surviving  antidepressants, because now I feel precisely "this drive" that I would like to start more painting, maybe I will start my new book (nothing special only a few stories). But I like it. To live in some fantasy. I want to change my life, from commercial  working to more creativity, to see more, paint more and accomplish nice things.  With respect  to this Lyrica, if I find someone who wants to help me /us, I will let you know. Till now my tryings were not very successful and I tried a lot.

 

M.

Creativity is the most amazing thing Martina, 

 

Write, read, create. I am in full agreement with you. I’m a creative soul too and when I don’t create I feel stifled. I’ve been creating a lot lately. 

 

Not only is it good for our  wellbeing but it can be an amazing distraction while going through withdrawals. 

 

If you need encouragement n support though don’t forget SA though. 

 

Sending hugs from one fellow creative to anither🤗

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Martina23

I was today painting the whole day. And I was a bit disappointed.  I showed the painting (half finished) to my mother and my mother started to criticize it quite roughly. That both women there have too big breasts and dont have the slim figure which is now considered  pleasant to the eye (I paint fuller women). That they are "matriarchal", like the statues of the women from old times. I was quite sad. I wished that she would praise my painting attempts. 

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Martina23

Yesterday I ate to the supper only vegetables , and today I have one kilo more. Very sad 😞

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Martina23

Today in the morning I had again an intrusive picture. Very weird. I was with my children and had a feeling that I wanted a bit my peace. At once there was a fence between me and my children. I wanted to cross it but it started to come more fences which pushed me more and more to the distance to my children. I couldnt influence my imagination. I think from this Lyrica I got a totally destroyed brain. If such pictures come I feel like schizophrenic. I hoped once I will have the same brain like before, but it is already three years after taking Lyrica, and my brain is still partially destroyed. I dont know. I wish I wouldnt have to deal with this. Today I also feel somewhat depressed, as if the life didnt have a sense. I feel so useless in life today. Some people have so much talent, purpose, self conciousness, and I feel like I have none. My children are ill so I have to be with them at home and somewhat I get such "black thoughts"

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Martina23
1 hour ago, Altostrata said:

It's only an idea, Martina. They pass like clouds across the sky. See Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 

Are you still taking fish oil and magnesium?

Thank you Altostrata, I was so happy that you were here for me. It is really very nice. It made me immediately better mood. I almost started to cry. It is really great if the people  help each other. I will also try to help more other people here in need.

 

No, I dont take any supplements. Not even C vitamin. I guess I am a bit afraid of supplements that they will make my symptoms  worse. But I ate today fish - so I got some vitamin D 🙂

 

I hope you are yourself ok and that your withdrawal is "manageable".

 

 

 

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Altostrata

I am fine, thank you.

 

You might want to try a little magnesium, it's good for anxiety and relaxation, and fish oil capsules if you can get them. See

 
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/

http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/

 

A lot of people find them helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you.

 

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Martina23

So today I picked up the letter with respect  to my criminal complaint from the trial. They informed me that if I dont object they will dismiss the complaint because even if the withdrawal would be caused by Lyrica it was let to the free market by European Medical agency so it was approved of and thus it is not a crime. I wrote again today that I do object. And that in my opinion manipulated clinical studies are a crime when they cause sorrow to the people and I consider a crime also that the studies are being made by financially dependent persons, because it is a deceit. I wrote that European Medical  agency doesnt control clinical studies therefore the conclusion of court is absolutely out of way. I also wrote that if they dismiss it without even checking the clinical studies I will consider it as lack of democracy in Austria and their approving of corruption and deceit.

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FarmGirlWorks

Good for you, @Martina23. It is another chip in the wall. Keep up the hope!

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Martina23

It is not about antidepressants but today I realized that I love so much to use different materials by painting. Like pencil, and coal, and oil pastels and also acrylic colours, everything in one picture (the best big one). I love it. I will continue using it. It comes me so raw, it gives the painting the feeling that you worked on it so hard, that you fully used all the space you have available. When I finish this painting, I will make new one. It will be called cemetery of ideals, it will be very big, six persons in different positions, some lying and it will mean that the people think in 18 how they can achieve anything when they are honest and hard working and in the reality the only one who rules the world and gets everything are multinational corporations which only misuse people and are never punished even if they destroy the health of the people.

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Martina23

I will compile that lists comparing the clinical studies of Lyrica and how many financially dependent  scientists  took part on the studies. I hope I will find sufficient materials on this topic.

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Martina23

I must say in this letter to that judge with respect to my criminal  complaint I said that if they dismiss  my complaint  without really investigating it first, I will be forced to leave the country based on the lack of democracy. Because  I really can not live somewhere where there is no democracy at all. I am sure they will dismiss my complaint but I made already my decision, if they do I will leave.

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Altostrata

Martina, I admire your fighting spirit, but you cannot expect the judge to understand anything about drugs and how they are misprescribed. Everyone thinks doctors are all-knowing saviors.

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Martina23

Today I had to bring my children to my aupair, because they are still ill and had to come back because  tommorrow I have to go to work. I found out that from the balcony the ants came into my apartment so I had to spray them and have to sit outside for 20 minutes until the spray dissolves. I miss already the children. I am also so sad that I didnt bring this thing with Lyrica further. But outside it is beautiful.  It is here such a beautiful  dark tree - such pine tree, I love pine trees, it is so stabile and soothing. It started raining. Today is my first day without children again. It will be a sad night.

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Martina23

Today I asked by NY state bar of attornies (there is everywhere  that they will give you refferal to a lawyer to ask if you have a legal question), I wanted to ask if a submitted criminal complaint is keeping the statutory deadline for filing a civil claim in NY. I thought if it would I would already file it myself risk or not. The answer was "sorry, we dont provide legal advice here" So why to the hell do they have on the website that they provide legal advice? I wrote there that I suffered violent thoughts on discontinuation of Lyrica, maybe they got afraid that it is some murderer on his escape from the prison 🙂 But now it is really almost impossible. All people  are so indifferent,  like this it will be nothing.

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