Moderator Emeritus Baxter Posted June 22, 2011 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 22, 2011 Squirrel and Buxy, I am so sorry that you are still in the thickets with the symptoms. Sending you my best. 1989 - 1992 Parnate* 1992-1998 Paxil - pooped out*, oxazapam, inderal 1998 - 2005 Celexa - pooped out* klonopin, oxazapam, inderal *don't remember doses 2005 -2007 Cymbalta 60 mg oxazapam, inderal, klonopin Started taper in 2007: CT klonopin, oxazapam, inderal (beta blocker) - 2007 Cymbalta 60mg to 30mg 2007 -2010 July 2010 - March 2018 on hiatus due to worsening w/d symptoms, which abated and finally disappeared. Then I stalled for about 5 years because I didn't want to deal with W/D. March 2018 - May 2018 switch from 30mg Cymbalta to 20mg Celexa 19 mg Celexa October 7, 2018 18 mg Celexa November 5, 2018 17 mg Celexa December 2, 2019 16 mg Celexa January 6, 2018 15 mg Celexa March 7, 2019 14 mg Celexa April 24, 2019 13 mg Celexa June 28, 2019 12.8 mg Celexa November 10, 2019 12.4 Celexa August 31, 2020 12.2 Celexa December 28, 2020 12 mg Celexa March 2021 11 mg Celexa February 2023 Link to comment
stan Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 i have no testimony of someone with severe protracted withdrawal, who retake after a few years and tell he is much better; SRI have closed an amount of receptors,and made many changes; if you retake, they will close more receptors and do more changes... for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
Claudius Posted June 22, 2011 Share Posted June 22, 2011 I think Stan is perfectly right in this. If we would take a new med again, there are 2 possibliities: 1. No relief or even worse, a kindling reaction and thrown back to square 0 and make all those years of suffering a waste. 2. Partial or complete relief, and being obsessed by withdrawal from this med for the rest of our live. And both options are unacceptable for me. So just hoping for recovery, trying all kinds of alternative therapy and just give it even more time is the only option I guess. 10 mg Paxil/Seroxat since 2002 several attempts to quit since 2004 Quit c/t again Oktober 2007, in protracted w/d since then after 3.5 years slight improvement but still on the road after 6 years pretty much recovered but still some nasty residual sypmtons after 8.5 years working again on a 90% base and basically functioning normally again! Link to comment
squirrel Posted June 22, 2011 Author Share Posted June 22, 2011 Thank you all for your thoughts i hear what you say and you are right, just feel really desperate. I guess i am Dammed if I do and Dammed if I don't. Started Seroxat(Paxil) for panic attacks in 1997 stopped the drug in 2005 tapered over 3 months ( doctors advice) Suffered severe and protracted withdrawl ever since. No other medication taken. Link to comment
bronxboy8 Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Squirrel have you taking any supplements or anything along the way? I hope you get relief soon : ) Link to comment
squirrel Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 only cod liver oil Started Seroxat(Paxil) for panic attacks in 1997 stopped the drug in 2005 tapered over 3 months ( doctors advice) Suffered severe and protracted withdrawl ever since. No other medication taken. Link to comment
solida Posted June 26, 2011 Share Posted June 26, 2011 Hello Squirrel, can you tolerate it? The cod liver oil gave me horrible anxiety... solida Sept.2007 Citalopram for burn out,reverse reaction Paroxetin 20mg,5 weeks,had to stop because of reverse reaction after a manic episode,severe withdrawal hit after 6 weeks, hospitalization twice,during the first 2 years withdrawal got worse and worse disabled since Link to comment
squirrel Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 I have that anyway so I don't know. Started Seroxat(Paxil) for panic attacks in 1997 stopped the drug in 2005 tapered over 3 months ( doctors advice) Suffered severe and protracted withdrawl ever since. No other medication taken. Link to comment
squirrel Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Now my bad dizziness seems to have ebbed away a little I am now suffering from severe agitation, like I got to get out of my skin.Was thinking If it would be worth taking a tiny bit of benzo just to take the edge off.Anyone any thoughts please? Started Seroxat(Paxil) for panic attacks in 1997 stopped the drug in 2005 tapered over 3 months ( doctors advice) Suffered severe and protracted withdrawl ever since. No other medication taken. Link to comment
Patience Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 You posted this earlier this morning. I hope it has passed. Walking, breathing exercises, or just plain being with the agitated feeling and writing about it have helped me in the past. Early on in my withdrawal, I had a day when I was extremely anxious (terrified, actually) and I took 1/2 of a xanax. It helped get me through the scariest moment, but I think I had rebound anxiety. It lasted for about three days, easing as those days progressed. I remember at one point later on I told myself that what I'm having are just feelings, and feelings can't hurt me if I just acknowledge them, separate myself from them, and objectively observe them passing through me. And remember, they do pass. 1989 to 2008: Prozac then Paxil then Celexa. Numerous attempts to quit. Then I got off the SSRI poop-out merry-go-round. 11-12 week taper. Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear If you're going through hell, keep walking The only way out is through Link to comment
Brandy Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Now my bad dizziness seems to have ebbed away a little I am now suffering from severe agitation, like I got to get out of my skin.Was thinking If it would be worth taking a tiny bit of benzo just to take the edge off.Anyone any thoughts please? Squirrel, I'm so sorry you're going through this hard time. Good if the dizziness is decreasing, but it sounds like one of those times when symptoms "morph" from one to another. (That's been the case with me a lot.) I'm not clear on a couple of things. First of all, when did the severe agitation start. (Or if agitation has been an ongoing problem, when did the recent increase in severity occur?) And have you had severe agitation before in withdrawal? I also wasn't sure whether you meant taking a bit of a benzo occasionally, but not regularly. Or are you thinking about going on it regularly to try to relieve protracted withdrawal? I have a lot of experience with benzos (unfortunately) and taking one occasionally when you have to do something and are in a particularly bad state shouldn't be a problem, though Patience is absolutely right that they can cause rebound. (And the shorter-acting ones like xanax and ativan, which doctors are most likely to prescribe, also tend to have the worst rebound - even when your nervous system isn't super-sensitive from withdrawal.) But one thing to be aware of if you haven't used them before or used them only occasionally, is that one can addicted to them much faster than to SSRIs. The withdrawal symptoms from each type of drug have huge similarities, and can be equally severe, but they do work slightly differently and although this doesn't happen to everyone, one can become addicted to benzos in as little as a week or two of regular use. I'm hoping you're just going through a final wave, as you suggested recently, and I just want to make sure you don't end up suffering more when you might just be going through a wave from more healing occurring. Also, is it possible you might have had a virus or something lately? I have, and I'm hearing about more and more people (who aren't in withdrawal) catching things. I find that in withdrawal, when I get sick with the flu or something, it makes my withdrawal symptoms recur or get worse. Forgive me that I haven't replied to your PM reply. (I'm over the virus I had but weak and spacy a lot of the time!) I'll reply to it soon! And I hope you feel better soon! I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over. My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can. If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343 Link to comment
squirrel Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Sorry for posting yet again! I am really getting worried about all of this.At one time I would have bad days and better days but now I am have bad hours and better hours. I don't suppose anyone can explain this? Started Seroxat(Paxil) for panic attacks in 1997 stopped the drug in 2005 tapered over 3 months ( doctors advice) Suffered severe and protracted withdrawl ever since. No other medication taken. Link to comment
squirrel Posted June 30, 2011 Author Share Posted June 30, 2011 Hi Brandy, Yeah agitation been with me throughout the 6 years. Just came from out of the blue yesterday.I meant taking a very small dose occasionally.I don't feel as though I have had a virus, however my nose has been playing up I am either really stuffy and sound like I have a cold( although feel I do not have a cold) or my nose is running ( sorry for the graphic description). Today I had the worst panic attack I have ever had in my life ! and yet the agitation was not there or the dizziness. It is all so weird and scary. Started Seroxat(Paxil) for panic attacks in 1997 stopped the drug in 2005 tapered over 3 months ( doctors advice) Suffered severe and protracted withdrawl ever since. No other medication taken. Link to comment
solida Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Hi Squirrel, I also hope that you will feel so much better after this wave. About the Benzo: I m definetly one who is afraid of all kind of medication now, and I also don t tolerate anything. But to be honest:I wouldn t have survived this hell in the beginning without a Benzo maybe once a week. In the last 2years I maybe took 3 Lorazepam altogether,( less than 0,25mg )only, when I really thouhgt I would crack!! solida Sept.2007 Citalopram for burn out,reverse reaction Paroxetin 20mg,5 weeks,had to stop because of reverse reaction after a manic episode,severe withdrawal hit after 6 weeks, hospitalization twice,during the first 2 years withdrawal got worse and worse disabled since Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted June 30, 2011 Administrator Share Posted June 30, 2011 Sounds like maybe you hit a rough spot, squirrel. You'll get back to better days. As you know, this is your nervous system trying to right itself. Do what you can to stay calm and optimistic, this helps it along. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Maybe Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 I very often have that as well. But I see it positive. It is easier to handle a bad hour than a bad day. And whatever symptom it is, I know it does not last. End of 2008: Remeron 15mg for around 2 months. Unorthodox taper, no problems.End of August 2009: Lexapro 10mg for only 4 days. Panic attack after 3 pills. Severe gastro problems in the morning for 3 days after last pill. 2 weeks later strong w/d symptoms set in. Acute WD lasted around 3.5 years. I am feeling much better today, 5.5 years out, but still have some symptoms left. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 2, 2011 Administrator Share Posted July 2, 2011 We all send squirrel our healing wishes every day. Comin' at ya, squirrel! This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
serotonin Posted July 2, 2011 Share Posted July 2, 2011 Yeh if squiral can heal so can i and all of us! Link to comment
stan Posted July 3, 2011 Share Posted July 3, 2011 Dizziness Feel unbalanced ( like floor is moving quickly under my feet) Back of chair seems to be moving as i sit against it bed moving from side to side Weak & shaky legs extreme bouts of fatigue. hi Squirrel,my standing equilibrium is messed , i have also a kind of dizziness when lying in bed, i cannot explain my feelings, but i have to close my eyes because i feel i am moving in head maybe , it is very scary, our perceptions are messed, does-it heal ? go better? i am waiting for anxiety 12 years paxil - cold turkey 1,5 month - switch celexa 1 year taper; total 13 years on brain meds 67 years old - 9 years med free in protracted withdrawal rigidity standing and walking, dryness gougerot-szoegren, sleep deteriorate, function as have a lack of nerves, improving have been very little Link to comment
squirrel Posted July 4, 2011 Author Share Posted July 4, 2011 for 6 years I have put up with some of the most scary and bizarre symptoms that no one should ever have to deal with. I get up every day thinking today will be better and muddle through as best I can. now i feel i am just not coping with this my resolve is very low, i cannot go far alone because my balance is poor, I feel defeated now. need it all to stop.I have considered going back on something but know that this may not help, so I am stuck. most days I don't want to get up as the fight to stay positive is too hard. Started Seroxat(Paxil) for panic attacks in 1997 stopped the drug in 2005 tapered over 3 months ( doctors advice) Suffered severe and protracted withdrawl ever since. No other medication taken. Link to comment
serotonin Posted July 4, 2011 Share Posted July 4, 2011 Hi squiral, so have u been off your anti depressent for 6 yrs? Souds like u are saying u want to go back on it? And if so what was the last Anti depressent u want to go back onto? And what kinds of symptom do u want resolved? Link to comment
summer Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 for 6 years I have put up with some of the most scary and bizarre symptoms that no one should ever have to deal with. I get up every day thinking today will be better and muddle through as best I can. now i feel i am just not coping with this my resolve is very low, i cannot go far alone because my balance is poor, I feel defeated now. need it all to stop.I have considered going back on something but know that this may not help, so I am stuck. most days I don't want to get up as the fight to stay positive is too hard. Six years is a long time. I'm so sorry things have been this difficult for you! You never know what tomorrow will bring though... you could very well wake up feeling great. Hang in there! Charter Member 2011 Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 5, 2011 Administrator Share Posted July 5, 2011 I know this is so frustrating, squirrel. You know the risks of re-medication. The hardest part is finding a doctor who knows what he or she is doing. What do you plan to do? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
serotonin Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Hi alto thats excatly what i want to ask her, and what are excact symptoms she is experiencing? Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 5, 2011 Administrator Share Posted July 5, 2011 serotonin, read squirrel's Intro topic and the other topics she's started. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
serotonin Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Ok squiral i read what your symtpoms are. To be honest i dont want to just say hung in there and everything will be alright, it has been 6 years and if u are still suffering i think it is time to try a different aproah, if i am in ur shoes i might go back on 10 mg of paxil and mix it with 5 htp to see if all the symtpoms gets cleared. Link to comment
serotonin Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 And i would definitely go back to a very good psyschiatrist and have him and her recommend a good solution to the problem, and dont forget to talk to the psychiatrist over the phone to get a good opinion first. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 5, 2011 Administrator Share Posted July 5, 2011 serotonin, please stop telling people to go back on medication. You don't have a clue what you're talking about. It's not a new idea. Every single one of us has been told to do this. Some of us have tried it. There are good reasons we avoid it. Many here have struggled to get off medication and they're not interested in getting back on the merry-go-round again. I'd suggest that you try it yourself -- go back on Prozac -- instead of egging other people on to do it, except that I wouldn't wish a bad result on anyone. As I've said to you repeatedly, many people with withdrawal syndrome have tried re-medication and had major problems with it. Re-medication only works if you are a short time off drugs, and then not always. If I were you, since you seem to be improving on your own without additional meds, I would not chance taking Prozac again. Do not urge other people to take a risky route, it's irresponsible. DO A LOT MORE READING to educate yourself. Read all the Intro topics. Read the papers in the Journals section. Read the articles in the Media section. Informed posts are welcome, I know you can become a valued member of the community. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
compsports Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 for 6 years I have put up with some of the most scary and bizarre symptoms that no one should ever have to deal with. I get up every day thinking today will be better and muddle through as best I can. now i feel i am just not coping with this my resolve is very low, i cannot go far alone because my balance is poor, I feel defeated now. need it all to stop.I have considered going back on something but know that this may not help, so I am stuck. most days I don't want to get up as the fight to stay positive is too hard. Hi Squirrel, What have you tried so far? My heart goes out to you. I can't imagine dealing with what you have been through. Sometimes, a positive attitude only goes so far. I definitely understand what you're saying regarding that issue. CS Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010 Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006 Finished taper on June 10, 2010 Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016 Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia Link to comment
squirrel Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 Hi Comp, I have tried cbt but thy said they could not really help me as I was doing all they would suggest. I take cod liver oil as advised by the neurologist.I really don't know what else I can do. I woke up this morning with a severe akathsia type feeling its like a cross between anxiety and akathesia and no amount of deep breathing is helping.It is as though all my nerves in my body are on high alert. Started Seroxat(Paxil) for panic attacks in 1997 stopped the drug in 2005 tapered over 3 months ( doctors advice) Suffered severe and protracted withdrawl ever since. No other medication taken. Link to comment
Claudius Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I am not as far out as you yet, but I have been on the verge of giving up several times. I still praise myself lucky that I do not have many obligations: no kids and still get 70% of my wage after 3.5 years at home due to WD. Without that support, I was definately forge to get back to something just to end the torture. But it will not offer a long-time solution so I would never advice to get back. Besides it is not possible to predict what is the right med in this state. Even not for Healy, BReggin and the other knowing docs. At the same time, I share your fear that we are damaged forever, we just lost too many receptors and will never feel weel without the med. But I will ride it out for at least 5 years I promised myself. 6 years is an awfully long time and I do not know what I would do in that case. The hypersensitivity to noises and even the slightest amount of stress is terrible and torturous and prevents a normal life in my case, although I am not very depressed and my anxiety is well under control. It is an awful decision. But going back to a med is a decocion which is almost irreversible. Maybe taking a med for a few weeks will undo all the recovery from the past years and make them a throwaway. And this is an almost satanic dilemma... 10 mg Paxil/Seroxat since 2002 several attempts to quit since 2004 Quit c/t again Oktober 2007, in protracted w/d since then after 3.5 years slight improvement but still on the road after 6 years pretty much recovered but still some nasty residual sypmtons after 8.5 years working again on a 90% base and basically functioning normally again! Link to comment
compsports Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Hi Comp, I have tried cbt but thy said they could not really help me as I was doing all they would suggest. I take cod liver oil as advised by the neurologist.I really don't know what else I can do. I woke up this morning with a severe akathsia type feeling its like a cross between anxiety and akathesia and no amount of deep breathing is helping.It is as though all my nerves in my body are on high alert. Hi Squirrel, Well, I was about to suggest see if there was some type of balance therapy that was done by a medical professional for dizziness issues since many people get vertigo. But if you are experiencing anxiety and akthesia, that might not be a good idea. I am really just brainstorming here. Would simply not fighting the feelings and observe what happens? I am sure this is easier said than done when it must be so frightening. Just wondering. Sorry, I haven't read your intro carefully due to not being able to focus but how often does this happen? My heart goes out to you. CS Drug cocktail 1995 - 2010 Started taper of Adderall, Wellbutrin XL, Remeron, and Doxepin in 2006 Finished taper on June 10, 2010 Temazepam on a PRN basis approximately twice a month - 2014 to 2016 Beginning in 2017 - Consumption increased to about two times per week April 2017 - Increased to taking it full time for insomnia Link to comment
squirrel Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 I had a few weeks were the aniety? akathesia was not too bad but my balance was terrible and now it has gone the other way my balance is better ( not great ) but better and the anxiety/ akathesia is horrendous. Started Seroxat(Paxil) for panic attacks in 1997 stopped the drug in 2005 tapered over 3 months ( doctors advice) Suffered severe and protracted withdrawl ever since. No other medication taken. Link to comment
serotonin Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I am not as far out as you yet, but I have been on the verge of giving up several times. I still praise myself lucky that I do not have many obligations: no kids and still get 70% of my wage after 3.5 years at home due to WD. Without that support, I was definately forge to get back to something just to end the torture. But it will not offer a long-time solution so I would never advice to get back. Besides it is not possible to predict what is the right med in this state. Even not for Healy, BReggin and the other knowing docs. At the same time, I share your fear that we are damaged forever, we just lost too many receptors and will never feel weel without the med. But I will ride it out for at least 5 years I promised myself. 6 years is an awfully long time and I do not know what I would do in that case. The hypersensitivity to noises and even the slightest amount of stress is terrible and torturous and prevents a normal life in my case, although I am not very depressed and my anxiety is well under control. It is an awful decision. But going back to a med is a decocion which is almost irreversible. Maybe taking a med for a few weeks will undo all the recovery from the past years and make them a throwaway. And this is an almost satanic dilemma... Link to comment
serotonin Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 The above quate i feel u on this one, i realize i am also hypersensitive to stress. And i am avoiding any time of situation or movie that moves into that direction. My sleep is getting better now since i am taking 5htp, but there is still tension, and the tension gives me a unrelaxed sleep vut overall everything is much more manageble! Link to comment
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