vanctycanuck: Oppositional tolerance and Withdrawal. My story

[vanctycanuck]

Hello all, 

I am a former member of Paxilprogress "beastmodekes" and this is my introduction. 

I started Paxil for what I believed was Anxiety and this was around 2000 / 2001. My doctor recommended this medication and I was desperate enough for relief. I started out at 20 mgs and after a few years this was increased to 40 mg. For years I continued taking this medication, one because my doctor said I would require this medication for the rest of my life, and two it was flat out giving me relief from the symptoms. 

 

In late June of 2013 I began to experience a reemergence of my Anxiety symptoms, while still taking 40 mg of paxil.  After approximately two to three weeks later, I began to experience even worse symptoms and felt I was experiencing a mental breakdown.  I left work that morning and went straight to my doctor.  I was crying lots in his office and all my doctor could do was ask what it was I wanted to do? He suggested a new medication and I decided to mull it over. It was decided after much discussion with my doctor and family that I would try Effexor. The plan was to wean down Paxil and introduce Effexor.  I truly wish I never started Effexor....

 

To make a long story short in terms of my Antidepressant use. I was on Paxil for about 14 years and effexor for 16 months. The majority of the time I was on Effexor was trying to taper down to get off. I made the mistake of getting up to 225 mgs and wished I hadn't of taken my doctors advice to start with. As of December 04 2014, I am completely off Effexor. It was hellish getting off these medications.

 

As of now, I am suffering in the worst way. Over the last three months my symptoms have progressively gotten worse. I have had really bad moments mixed in brief moments of not so bad. From what I can gather these not so bad moments are called windows, but these so called windows are very short lived, like a few hours at best.  The worst time for me seems to be first thing when I wake up in the morning. My mind seems to be at its worst at this time and its what scares me the most. Just recently I've found it really hard to get to sleep as well. I am on sick leave from work and will be so for one year this May.  I will spare you all the worst details as you've probably heard them all. 

 

What I would like to know is if their are any success stories from anyone who has suffered oppositional tolerance. I feel my problem is more complicated due to the fact my symptoms started while I was still on Paxiil, and that I was on Paxil for a long time. I probably complicated things by starting Effexor.

Any feedback is appreciated!

 

Thank you

[Fresh]

Hi van  , welcome to the site.   You've landed in the best place ever for support , information and resources on all things antidepressant related.

 

I don't know what oppositional intolerance is ( is that poop-out?)   but others here are sure to know.

 

Take a look in the Symptoms and SelfCare section and you'll see that insomnia and early morning panic (cortisol ) are pretty common withdrawal symptoms.

Perhaps also see the "What Is Withdrawal" topic.

 

Good to have you on board.

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

[Muddles]

Hi there!

 

I think I remember you from PP. I hit poop-out too and have been suffering quite a lot since. I am 6 months off now. I am finding my withdrawal pretty brutal to be honest but it's been hell from the start of poop-out.

 

Mornings are always the worst - cortisol levels are so high. I think most tend to suffer their worst moments first thing.

 

I'm sorry you are still in a bad place. It's a long time to have to suffer but I'm positive there will be better days ahead for you.

[Muddles]

iMac hit poop-out and had a hard time, but is doing much better now.

[Petunia]

Welcome vanctycanuck,

 

I'm sorry to hear you have been struggling so much.  Did starting on effexor help at all with the symptoms you were experiencing while still on paxil?

 

How did you taper off effexor?

 

Please would you put your drug and withdrawal history in your signature.  Putting a short version of your drug and tapering history in your signature helps people understand your context, it appears below each of your posts.  Here are instructions for how to do it:

 

http://survivinganti...your-signature/

 

Here is the link to our recovery stories section:

 

Recovery from withdrawal success stories

 

Also, look for the introduction threads with the  sun  (☼) symbols, these members have turned a corner in their recovery.

 

Petunia.

[vanctycanuck]

*post moved from success stories section

 

Hello all. 

I am very close to being 4 months of medications. What Ive experienced along the way has been nothing but Hell. 

As of now I am left in a state of chronic depression and anxiety. Lately my mind has been in a constant state of irritability.

 

My biggest concern however is when I first wake up in the morning.  My mind first thing in the morning is what scares me the most and is what makes me feel like I'm going crazy.  I cant seem to motivate myself to get out of bed right away and usually takes me half hour. During this period my mind seems to be all over the place and thoughts and feelings are intense during this period. When I do manage to get out of bed and after some time these feelings become less intense. The last few days these feelings have lingered throughout the day but are not as intense as when I first wake up. I also have these strange physical feelings in my and when its at it worst makes it feel like my head is full so to speak. This usually leads headaches. Lastly, all of this has left me feeling hopeless and with recurring thoughts of Suicide. I dont have a plan to commit suicide, but the thoughts are all the time and very intense. 

 

My questions are this.

 

1. Have any of you experienced this like I am. 

2. Does this sound like a part of medication withdrawal or something much serious?

 

I have been debating whether I should take myself to the hospital as I am that scared right now. From everything I can gather, these medications change the physical make up of our minds and now Im dependent on them. Ive read all the horror stories and of course that hasn't helped my situation.

 

Any feedback is much appreciated.

Edited March 25, 2015 by Petunia
added note

[Petunia]

Hi vanctycanuck,

I moved the above post to your own introduction/update thread.  That part of the forum is for success stories.  You can use this thread as your ongoing journal to track progress, write about symptoms, ask questions and communicate with the community, add to it whenever you want.

 

I'm sorry to hear you are still struggling with withdrawal.  Four months out is still early days.  The symptoms you have described are  fairly common.  See:

 

Cortisol and early-morning waking with panic or anxiety

 

Many of us here experience symptoms being worse in the mornings, I'm the same, this will improve over time.

 

Here is the link to our symptoms and self care section, you may find some useful ideas to help manage symptoms as you recover.  Especially read the topics pinned at the top.

 

Perhaps others will be able to share their experiences.

 

Petunia.

[coldturkmama]

I hit poop out or tolerance while on paxil, and was on the stuff 14 yrs.

I did a cold turkey (had no idea how bad that was) and suffered badly. I am 17 months out, doing very well, especially for the hell I went through. Things improve all the time, but AD withdrawal iz two stels forward, three back, but it will be better.