QuitPaxil2015 - Paxil withdrawal

[Altostrata]

quitp, I merged your topics. Only one Intro topic to a member. You may wish to bookmark this or follow it.

 

If you review your Intro topic, you will see you have a tendency to reduce more than 10% per month. As you are sensitive to dosage drops, this causes problems for you.

 

Now you've gone from 10mg to 7.5mg -- a 25% reduction -- and this triggered severe withdrawal symptoms.

 

I hope that your system settles down with reinstatement of 10mg. Yes, it will take at least 4 days to register the dosage increase. It may take longer for your nervous system to settle down. See The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

[quitpaxil2015]

Thank you, Alto. You are right, of course. I am hoping to stabilize. I will also stay in the 10 mg dose for a while per the recommendation. It is just awful right now.

[PapaBear]

Hi 'qp'

 

I am sorry that you have such problems at the moment. I am confident that your updose will show an effect soon.

Can you do some relaxation practice or maybe some exercise to calm down and sleep better? Or you could take some valerian? At least in my case I can sleep better after taking it.

In any case I am sure you will feel better soon. While paxil seems to be very difficult to withdraw I usually never had any problems dosing up.

I haven't read all your posts but I also don't think that you should be worried about taking a Xanax. Of course many people here are tapering also from Benzos and there is always the problem of addiction but if it helps for the moment it should be ok.

So I think latest at the weekend you will be back to 'normal' and then you can approach the tapering more slowly.

I wish you all the best!

Cheers,

PB

[tgirl]

You are not a failure!

You will get through this!

Tgirl

[quitpaxil2015]

Here is an update...I saw my endocrinologist yesterday and he spent over an hour with me. He agreed with the reinstatement to 10 mg (I had my third dose this morning). He is not a fan of Xanax and said I should not use it for more than a couple of nights during this time of readjustment.

 

He made a plan that included taking my trazodone 100 mg at 8 pm with the .25 mg Xanax then if not asleep in 1/2 hour, take melatonin 3 mg, and if not asleep in 2 hours, take another 50 of trazodone. I was to the point of needing hospitalization yesterday.

 

Thankfully, I fell asleep and did not need the extra trazodone. I slept for 8 hours. My poor husband is sleeping downstairs with our two dogs because even the tiniest bit of noise wakes me up.

 

With the sleep I got last night and the reinstatement, I was able to go to work, even though I felt very fragile. A coworker has been through a similar taper although she was able to taper at 5 mg and has been Paxil free for over a year. She was very very helpful and checked on me throughout the day. Made sure I ate, even though it has been hard to eat due to apathy for food.

 

I think I am starting to even out even though I am very anxious about getting to sleep tonight.

 

I wanted to die on Monday night. This is how bad I felt. My panic was so intense and with four days without sleep that something bad would have happened.

 

I still feel bad that I had to go back up on the dosage and I hope I stabilize within a few days. I still have ringing in my ears, disequilibrium, and a feeling of dread but nothing like Monday night.

 

I am supposed to do away with the Xanax tomorrow night-I really have a lot of anxiety being in it at all. I hope the 3 tablets I've taken have not made me dependent on it.

 

I want to tell those that responded and those poor souls that are going through this hell that I really appreciate your help and having this forum has kept me from going through self harm.

 

Also, I think I will stay on 10 mg for a while and give my brain time to adjust before I restart to taper at 10% again.

 

I am thankful for all of you.

[quitpaxil2015]

Thank you Papa Bear and tgirl! Alto, thank you for your response as well. You were right in that I am extremely sensitive to the Paxil and will need to approach with the 10% taper when I am ready again. Frankly, after these past two days, I think I need a few months off the taper. My doctor thinks I need at least until the beginning of the year given the severity of my symptoms yesterday. Do you agree?

[quitpaxil2015]

I slept last night again but am having some serious anxiety with palpitations this morning. I also have ringing in my ears (which has come and gone through out the taper).

 

I made it to work - this is just the beginning of the work day, and I feel very fragile. When I saw him, my doctor mentioned that if I don't stabilize on 10 mg, I may have to go to 12.5 mg which would entail taking liquid with the tablet. I really want to stabilize at 10 mg but don't want to do more damage to my brain.

 

I hope this is just a wave as I was feeling better yesterday. I am hoping that I will stabilize over the weekend. As I said, I did sleep last night on the same regimen as the night before (described in a previous post), just woke up with the anxiety and some panic.

 

Any thoughts?

[PapaBear]

Hi,

I think it is understandable that you feel fragile and that you worry about further increases. But maybe you could try not to think too much about whether you have to updose again or not. Because even if you have to it is also absolutely ok. It just takes a little bit longer to reach your goal.

From my experience I can really relate to your wish to get the medication out of your system and I made some really big changes in my dose in the beginning - only to suffer more than necessary afterwards. And that wasn't really worth it.

So give it a try with the 10mg, it takes a while to stabilize and there is no reason that it shouldn't work for you.

By the way palpitations are really uncomfortable but I had a lot of the them while being on an ECG and the doc showed me on the graph that there is nothing extraordinary to see or to worry about. It is just anxiety.

So the work week is nearly over and the weekend is coming. I am sure you will make it also through this and the next day.

Cheers,

PB

[quitpaxil2015]

Thank you so much, PapaBear. This morning was tough. It seems I wake up in panic mode. I am halfway through the work day and have had bouts of anxiety, but am a little improved. The symptoms are still there, but mostly ringing in my ears and a bottomless feeling in the pit of my stomach with occasional high pulse.

 

I am hoping that I will stabilize by the end of the weekend. You are right in that I probably need to worry the least possible about things, it is just that this is the nature of my anxiety - it includes racing thoughts about everything. Also, my OCD is back a little - I guess that is understandable. I went back to check that the fridge was closed and that I had locked my car. OCD is also one of the reasons I went on Paxil in the first place. I hate this drug! I want out of it - but realize I will need to stabilize before I can even consider restarting my taper. I expect I will be on 10 mg (hopefully 10 and not more) for the next few months.

 

The support I have received here is invaluable. I thank you and the rest of the members/moderators from the bottom of my heart.

 

I am getting support from my husband too and I feel so bad that we are not even one year married (since March) and he had had to contend with this crap craziness from me. We are not sleeping in the same bed since everything wakes me up and I hope this is temporary. For now I probably need to concentrate on stabilizing since I was unable to function at all on Monday and Tuesday.

[Jlynn]

When I reinstated I kept good notes and track of my symptoms. It took me exactly 28 days to get relief. Don't be discouraged if it doesn't happen right away. It will. I remember thinking I would feel like crap forever but eventually my brain levels out. It is different for everyone so be patient and gentle with yourself.

[quitpaxil2015]

Hi Jlynn, 28 days!! I feel for you! And you had the courage to continue with the taper! I admire you.

 

Oh, my gosh! That seems like an eternity with my current symptoms!! I agree with keeping track - I am using the Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms in the Appendix of the book The Antidepressant Solution (by Glenmullen). I have noticed a decrease in symptoms since Monday and Tuesday, however, I am having panic first thing in the morning and sometimes during the day.  It is like having many waves throughout the day.

 

I think I need to ride it out for now so that I stabilize at 10 mg. This is my goal.

[quitpaxil2015]

I am very upset this morning. I cut off the Xanax last night but only slept fitfully. I took the 100 of Trazodone and the melatonin. I slept from just after 930 pm to around 230 am. Then dozed off a couple of times but no quality sleep. I am still sleeping by myself (husband and dogs downstairs).

 

"Woke up" in moderate withdrawal. Panicky and with pulse at 112, sinking feeling on stomach, very tired.

 

I had increased from 7.5 to 10 on Monday night (normally I take my Paxil in the morning but I made up the difference at night on Monday). I have been taking the 10 mg every morning but with marginal improvement. Today would be day 5. I am considering going higher to see if I get relief.

 

I have read the materials on reinstatement, but would like individual recommendation. I'm not sure if the increase would help or not. I'm kind of desperate. Should I try and stay on 10 mg for a few more days to see if I stabilize? I really want to not take the Xanax anymore-don't need another medication on board.

 

Help please.

[PapaBear]

Hi,

as Jlynn wrote above it might take a couple if days until you feel relief. So don't worry if you are not there yet.

Couldn't you replace Xanax with some exercise or relaxation? If sports is too much even a long walk can have some relaxing aspects. And you should try to learn mindfull meditation. It really helps and will improve your sleeping pattern.

So to sum it up I would wait at least until Sunday evening before you decide.

Best,

PB

[quitpaxil2015]

Thank you, PB, I have been trying to exercise as I am usually very active, but have been unable to this week due to symptoms.

 

Meditation (I tried Headspace) made me feel worse.

 

Will try to walk this weekend but it is raining a lot. Maybe even walk on a treadmill if needed.

 

Still having anxiety and loud tinnitus.

 

I think you are right, maybe I will give it a few more days??

 

Alto, do you think I might stabilize on 10 mg? How long is too long to go back up even more?

[Altostrata]

It isn't even 4 days since you went back to 10mg. Do not jump around in dosage.

[Jlynn]

QP,

 

I took me almost a month to even remotely start to stabilize and then I waited 3 1/2 months before I began a much slower taper. Hang in there and even through you get the urge to do something to try and get relief any changes will just prolong the agony in my opinion. That was the advice I was given here and eventually I leveled out. 

[quitpaxil2015]

Alto and Jlynn,

 

Thank you so much for responding to me! This is hell.

 

I want to say that I had a good window this evening for a few hours. Went to dinner and ate instead of forcing myself to choke down food (as in the past 5 days).

 

Still having tremendous ringing in my ears and now wondering when I'll fall asleep (I am not taking anymore Xanax - I took a total of 3 doses between Monday-Wednesday but am too scare of dependency). So it is 100 mg trazodone and 3 mg of melatonin. I am still waiting on sleep.

 

I am hoping I will stabilize at 10 mg. I agree that jumping around doses may do more harm than good. Even though several people have said I need to go up more to relieve these symptoms.

 

I am okay as long as I don't get the panic with which I have been waking. It comes and goes throughout the day. Also, thick head, obtunded feeling, horrible tinnitus, stomach issues and diarrhea.

 

I hate this poison.

[quitpaxil2015]

Ugh. It is 454 am. I have been up since 334 am. Went to bed around 930 pm but did not fall asleep until after 1030 pm. Also woke up at 130 am but fell back asleep. Tinnitus is bad.

 

At least not in panic at this time even though my heart rate is elevated.

 

This insomia is awful.

[quitpaxil2015]

Ok. Im using this as a journal (hope that is okay).

 

Albeight exhausted from my insomnia, I think I've had some windows today. I was able to go to the mall (yuck) with my husband to the Apple Store. I even smiled some.

 

I am also still able to eat small to moderate amounts of food without having to choke it down.

 

Have been trying to distract myself by looking at Facebook and tumblr (I follow a lot of fitness and health stuff). Also, spending time with my dog-being with her always helps. Trying to keep everything calm today. I tried another 10 minute mindfulness mediation from Headspace...helped little but I heard it takes time to turn off a monkey mind.

 

I have not been drinking (I used to have a glass of red wine with dinner on the weekends), because I think my nervous system needs a break! I've increased my magnesium intake and continue to take my omega3 capsule.

 

Now just having herbal tea with honey and trying to slow things down inside.

 

I will hold on 10 mg and hope to stabilize-some moments I think it is happening. The nights are the worse but I am trying to not read too much into the insomnia.

[tgirl]

Hey QP,

 

Glad to hear you are able to distract yourself. Try and stay away from the alchohol, it can add to your issues. The mindfulness takes a while, but does eventually help.

 

You've only been back at 10 for a short while.

 

Stabilization will occur, just try and be patient.

Your cns with thank you for it!

Good luck,

I have a feeling you will be fine.

Pm me any time.

Tgirl

[quitpaxil2015]

tgirl, Thank you so much for the support! Please feel free to private message me anytime too!!

 

I'm hoping to stabilize st 10 mg for sure. This morning has been rough with lots of anxiety upon awakening

 

Update:

I did sleep. Had some nightmares and woke up a couple times, but went to bed at 10 pm (later than I wanted) and fell asleep around 1130. Woke up at around 130 am - I was awake for a little while, then again at 635 am. I am usually a better sleeper than that and usually require about 8 hours to feel okay, so I am tired.

 

The silver lining is that I slept with just taking the 100 mg of trazodone and 3 mg melatonin. Still no Xanac or increase in the trazodone. Of course, no alcohol for me but I had dessert last night.

 

I just tried another 10 min of meditation and it helped marginally but I think I will keep trying.

 

I am considering going to my Zumba class I just don't know if I can stand the loud noise or completing the whole class. I think I might try and give myself permission to leave early if I need to (I'm told I am very hard on myself and need to give me a break sometimes.)

 

Anyway, I am trying also not to think too much about the week ahead and having to perform at work - it has been hard without withdrawal and much more so with it. This is also causing me anxiety.

 

Thank you to all for your support!

[tgirl]

QP,

You might want to stay away from the sugar too! It may be contributing to your wakeups.

 

Instead of Zumba, you might find yoga a little less stimulating on the cns.

 

Just a suggestion.

Tgirl

[quitpaxil2015]

Thank you! I am looking for a yoga class since the ones at my gym are all very late and I'm trying to maintain a schedule for bed. I did the Zumba class and I think it helped for a few hours.

 

I kinda had a meltdown (teary) with my husband this afternoon. He just acquired another business since his previous will close in January.

 

He is very overwhelmed and I feel terribly guilty that I kind of need his presence right now. He leaves the house by 5 am and comes home at 630 pm. I am very respectful of that but have been needing a little more presence at night. It's just that by the time he gets in he is understandably very tired, as I am. The end result is that we hurry around in the evening until it is time to go to bed and the whole thing feels very stressful to me. We knew this was going to be a trying time and this withdrawal "crisis" could not have come at a worst time for us.

 

He is not expecting me to cook (gosh, I can hardly get through the grocery store right now as that feels overwhelming), but then we end up going out to eat and hurrying all around. I've been getting some prepared meals but that also gets expensive!

 

However, I don't think there is anything we can do right now regarding our schedules. He needs to be present at the business to make it work and my own workload is heavy right now. I'm just trying to make it day by day.

 

My husband is also at a loss at how to help. He is frustrated. He is present when he can be, and helps around the house, but I don't even know what I need except to say that I need support and presence right now. (He is supportive but just does not have the time to spend with me that we would like). He will be available if I ask him to be but right now it is a juggling act.

 

I have also come to rely on other friends and here for support. So I'm trying to spread it around and not tax anyone too much. I am just so scared!

 

I give myself all kinds of pep talks throughout the day, but this withdrawal is really really wearing on me. I've never really had panic before but now this comes and goes tgroughout the day. It alsocomes and stays for hours at times.

 

The ringing in my ears is also still very loud

 

Still hoping to stabilize at 10 mg. This is day 7 since I increased the dose last Monday.

[tgirl]

QP,

 

It's ok to be scared. You've been through a lot! It's great that you tried the yoga class and that it helped for a few hours.

 

A lot of us on here find that it's hard to get good support from our partners( or anyone) because they don't understand.

If someone told me this is how they felt, I wouldn't know what to think. If your not the one feeling it, it's hard.

 

No need to feel guilty for needing his presence, this will also impact your cns. Have you tried epsome salt baths? Maybe you and he could get in there before bed. It's quite soothing and will help you to sleep.

 

Also, do you sleep with a fan or some sort of white noise to drowned out the ear ringing?

 

Do you take fish oil or mag?

Tgirl

[quitpaxil2015]

Hi, yes I take fish oil, magnesium, some B vitamins. I also sleep with a fan because, as you guessed, I need the white noise.

 

I may very well try Epsom salts. I just never liked baths, but may try. At this point, I would try anything holistic!!

 

Thank you for your support!! It means a lot to me. Hope you are well...

[tgirl]

QP,

Thanks for posting on my thread!

 

The baths are great! Try turning the lights off and relaxing while you soak.

Wish you much sleep tonight, tgirl

[quitpaxil2015]

Tgirl, thank you! I hope you sleep too. I think I will try the bath as soon as I get the epson salts. I hope you get more Windows soon!

[tgirl]

Make sure yo get plain epsome salts. Meaning no lavender or other fragrances.

Night

[PapaBear]

Hi QP,

 

I wish you a pleasant week. Don't worry too much, I am sure you will stabilize soon.

 

Best,

PB

 

P.S. Regarding the B vitamins some people here found them too energizing. I haven't experienced it myself but maybe you find some infos here in the forum.

[Prestorb]

Hi QP, I haven't posted on your thread before but saw one of your postings on JLynn's thread. And guess what, you and I were born on the EXACT same day and year! How weird is that??

 

Anyway, I wanted to say that after I reduced my Paxil dosage so drastically, I could not take any of the vitamins and supplements that I had taken before - mostly the same ones that you are taking. They acted as stimulants and made me extremely irritable. Yours could be making you very anxious. I would suggest you stop all of them for the time being, as well as alcohol and coffee (I cut way back and even now, only drink 1/3 caffeinated). Your nervous system is extremely sensitive to everything right now and it will most likely be that way for a long time to come. Even now, I may drink one alcoholic drink every couple of weeks at most and can usually feel it the next day. If my allergies are already ramped up or I'm feeling under the weather, I don't even bother because it just makes it worse. I know it seems crazy, but most here have experienced the same thing.

 

Also, I found Chelated Magnesium tablets to be helpful for sleeping and you have to get them at a vitamin store. Others have not found it helpful, so it just depends but it might be worth a try.

 

Hang in there and prepare for this to take a long while. Your body will heal but it needs a lot of time and rest. The more rest, the better. Be gentle and kind and don't push yourself at this point. Just try to relax and let the process do the work. If you haven't heard of it already, I recommend you read Baylissa Frederick's Recovery and Renewal. I found this especially helpful in opening my eyes to this process and learning to be patient with it. 

 

I didn't have a window for a full six months after tapering from 40 mg to zero and then reinstating at 10 mg. I thought I was going to feel that way forever, but a couple of months ago, it lifted and I have felt damn good. So hang in there, be patient and kind to yourself.... and Happy Belated Birthday!

[quitpaxil2015]

Hi Prestorb, Happy Belated Birthday to you too!!

Thank you so very much for posting on my topic!! I am so grateful for people like you, that give me hope that this nightmare that is reinstatement will abate!! I read your signature and you have been through hell as well. Takes one to know one. I do take chelated magnesium (and calcium) as I do not have parathyroid function (or a thyroid for that matter as this was completely surgically removed.) I did increase my dose of chelated magnesium since my levels were okay to do so, and my endocrinologist thought it might help. Thanks for the book recommendation - I will check this out. I am so happy that you have been feeling good for the past couple months!! Your nervous system took quite a jolt going from 40 mg to 0 mg then to 10 mg again!!

I have also cut any caffeine to 1/3 of what I was taking. Now I mix caffeine free coffee into my milk. I have not been taking the B12 vitamin due to the possibility of increased stimulation. I have abstained from alcohol since I crashed - was never a big drinker anyway, more of an exerciser. I just feel so FRAGILE!!

Update on sleep and today: I did not sleep well at all last night. Kept waking up with increased heart rate, palpitations, and anxiety. The anxiety grips me in the guts. I went to bed at a reasonable time and woke up but a few hours later (I think 2 or 3 hours) then fiftful sleep after that. I could not even dose off after 357 am. I laid with my eyes closed hoping to calm myself down. My husband is still not sleeping in the room, and neither are the dogs. I am wondering if I should increase my Trazodone for the time being, but I am not sure if it is hard to taper off of this in the future. I have taken 100 mg for such a long time. I also took the Melatonin as this does help me at least fall asleep. I saw that there is a sustained release Melatonin - has anyone tried this?

Needless to say, the mornings being the worst, today was an "anxiety fest!" I am at work and doing my very best. I don't feel that I am flying with a full deck, though. Everything takes more effort and I am just trying not to take medical leave as this could be detrimental to my job. There are some brief moments during the day that I feel better, but this whole process is exhausting!!

[quitpaxil2015]

Hey tgirl and PB,

 

Thank you for the continued encouragement.

 

tgirl,

 

Do you find the lavender too stimulating? I thought lavender was used as a calming fragrance... Hope you are doing okay today...

[tgirl]

QP,

 

The only reason I said that about the lavender is because, I got a rash from it. I do not get a rash from the non scented and I use it all the time.

 

I wanted to add to what prestorb said about the magnesium. I use doctors best chelated magnesium. I order on line. It is really reasonable and helps a lot. I usually take it at night when I wake up and 8/10 am able to fall back asleep. They are good for anxiety and head aches. I usually get mine within 2/3 days.

 

Happy Belated!

Tgirl

[tgirl]

That was supposed to read 8 out of 10 times, the mag works to get me more sleep.

[quitpaxil2015]

Tgirl, I see...having a rash in addition to WD is no fun!! Good advice. I take a lot of chelates magnesium and it has been helping. The problem is that if I take it at night, I get stomach issues which keep me in the restroom. Therefore, I take it with lunch and dinner. I also take prescription vitamin D due to my parathyroid as not working. All great advice.

[tgirl]

Flying by to wish you a restful slumber and peaceful morning!