Faithbarelysurviving: Too damaged?

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Hello,

Am I too damaged to recover ever? Cognition, can't talk, muscle stiffness neck, head face, god these dr's are torturers with their poisons......and still on meds, and I do not know what is side effect from past withdrawls, what to do, i feel I am crazy, irritable, angry, away from reality, paranoid, Psychotic?, delusional? I know for sure I was not like that 10 yrs ago when I started AD a variety, benzos, then put on antipsychotics, hospitalized several times, , last time for a year because they took off diazepam very fast, I was already mentally impaired as well as physical side effects...now bed ridden, very deep depression, symptoms change like crazi, one after another with no recollection of the previous one, my brain is seriously malfunctioning and send all the crazt and torturous signals to my poor body. This is pure hell

Faithbarelysurviving...

[LoveandLight]

So sorry your going through this. Someone with more experience will be along soon. Best wishes and hold on!

[bluebalu86]

Faith, could you create a signature of your drug history so the mods can better answer your question? What meds were you on, when, for how long, how did you stop and what are you taking now and what are your symptoms?

You are not alone. We are all suffering here and perfectly understand what it's like. You will receive a lot of help and support here.

[Petunia]

Welcome Faith,

I'm sorry about everything you are going through, as blubalu86 wrote, if we could have a few more details about your drug history, that would help.

 

Here are instructions for putting your drug history in your signature:

 

http://survivinganti...your-signature/

 

Please feel free to write whenever you want, you will find a lot of friendly help and support here.

 

Petunia.

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Hello, I am not able to find my way through the website, can barely do it

My mind is going like crazy like pressing all the buttons of a remote

Control one after another with all the channels malfunctioning

And I physically feel pains, stabbing in my head, head with jaw face

Neck spine tight like hell, so hard to breathe...i don t what is really going on around me, like

people are mean and ugly and the room i am in gets dark,

my head is being pulled back, far far away from real world i am sure in hell. I do not know what these things

have done to me, they made me literally crazy, like a monster. And God

what they have done to me in the hospital last time that I stayed 1 yr, that I am not a good mother

and I runaway from my responsabilities, abuse, when I was paranoid and with all the benzo withdrawal

Symptoms that there are, fainting, they were saying I was facking

because i didn t want to go home to my kids and that I was provoking

everything, God these people are animals, and my doctor has no clue

Of what he is doing, they were out of diagnoses, changed meds after meds

to try to stabilize me and because he couldn t he said it was conversion

disorder, with personality disorder, very very complicated case, I couldn't

communicate with them, God what animals, abuse, my doctor the biggest one,

i think i have induced psychosis, I do not hear voices but I know I have

delusions, very negative, rage, suicidal,crying, rocking my body, the most horrible pains and sensations in my head

and permanent neurologycal disfunctions. I cannot endure it anymore

Please please pray for me Thank you

[Faithbarelysurviving]

http://breggin.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=19

Dr. Peter Breggin

[LucaDiProspero]

Welcome faith, I'm sorry you are suffering such heavy symptoms. Please let us know what drugs you were/are on and for how long.

Hold on, brain is very flexible and so many fast changes in your symptoms is a sign it is fighting to recover itself.

[mammaP]

Hi Faith, welcome to SA. I am so, so sorry to read that you have been treated so badly.  Please can you tell us the drugs you are taking now and ones you have taken recently if you can remember them. It is important to know this so we can offer the best advice for you.  They have thrown many drugs at you to try and correct what was withdrawal, sadly that is all they know, drugs, drugs and more drugs making everything much worse in the process. 

 

Where are you now? Are you at home and is someone there to take care of you? My heart goes out to you, I can relate to what you are going through as I had many hospital admissions with many drugs and ECT, all the drugs made things worse and it is a horrendous situation to be in.  The good news is that  it does get better, but it takes time. Get through each day, each hour or even minute by minute, and the time will pass while you are healing.  We are all here for you and with you while you are going through this nightmare. 

[Faithbarelysurviving]

- current meds: bupropion 150 mg in the morning,

clonazepam 1 mg three times per day,

baclofen 10 mg 3 times per day,

buspar 10mg at dinner, 6.2mg in the morning,

Escitalopram 15 mg morning

Tegretol twice a day x 100mg

Trazadone 50 mg

Propranolol 20 mg twice a day

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Hello again,

I will try to give more details about past medications as my mind is so poor... I cannot communicate...

I do not know if I am still in withdrawal from Buspirone, or from the traumatic fast withdrawal of valium last year in the hospital, which meds I am taking give me these horrible effects, or is a mixture of years of Ssri's off and on, antipsychotics, mood stab., and benzos on and off, maybe paradoxical effects to the meds i am taking....

God bless and thank you for your support

Faith

[bubble]

Hello Faith,

 

thank you for providing all this additional info on the drugs you are taking. Taking 8 drugs would make anyone disabled so it's no wonder you are feeling the way you are. I entered your drugs in the interaction drug checker and there were 5 major drug interactions. http://www.drugs.com

 

In response to your question, it's a mixture of everything you mention plus interactions among all these drugs which mustn't be given together. 

 

Do you have any doctor who is overseeing you? Doctors don't know about withdrawal but anyone who put you on so many drugs has been grossly negligent.

 

You have done something very important - started to assert your own voice, getting informed and trying to stop being a guineapig for drug experimentations.

 

Unfortunately the signature link isn't working. Maybe it's too much for you now.

 

Could you tell us when approximately you were put on these drugs? How long have you been taking them? 

 

Best,

Bubble

[JanCarol]

Hey Faith - nobody is too damaged.  PLEASE DO NOT TAPER ANYTHING until we get an expert in here - you have a complex set of issues to untangle.  You will see that 5 of these interactions are major, and the rest of them are also serious!

 

Here is what drugs.com said:

 

 

 

Interactions between your selected drugs

trazodone ↔ escitalopram

Applies to: trazodone, escitalopram

Using escitalopram together with traZODone can increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should contact your doctor immediately if you experience these symptoms during treatment. In addition, combining these medications can increase the risk of an irregular heart rhythm that may be serious and potentially life-threatening, although it is a relatively rare side effect. You may be more susceptible if you have a heart condition called congenital long QT syndrome, other cardiac diseases, conduction abnormalities, or electrolyte disturbances (for example, magnesium or potassium loss due to severe or prolonged diarrhea or vomiting). Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. You should seek immediate medical attention if you develop sudden dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, shortness of breath, or heart palpitations during treatment with these medications, whether together or alone. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

buspirone ↔ trazodone

Applies to: BuSpar (buspirone), trazodone

Using busPIRone together with traZODone can increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should seek immediate medical attention if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

buspirone ↔ escitalopram

Applies to: BuSpar (buspirone), escitalopram

Using busPIRone together with escitalopram can increase the risk of a rare but serious condition called the serotonin syndrome, which may include symptoms such as confusion, hallucination, seizure, extreme changes in blood pressure, increased heart rate, fever, excessive sweating, shivering or shaking, blurred vision, muscle spasm or stiffness, tremor, incoordination, stomach cramp, nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea. Severe cases may result in coma and even death. You should seek immediate medical attention if you experience these symptoms while taking the medications. Talk to your doctor if you have any questions or concerns. Your doctor may already be aware of the risks, but has determined that this is the best course of treatment for you and has taken appropriate precautions and is monitoring you closely for any potential complications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

bupropion ↔ escitalopram

Applies to: bupropion, escitalopram

Talk to your doctor before using buPROPion together with escitalopram. Combining these medications may increase the risk of seizures, which may occur rarely with either medication. In addition, buPROPion can increase the blood levels of escitalopram, which may increase other side effects. You may be more likely to experience seizures with these medications if you are elderly, undergoing alcohol or drug withdrawal, have a history of seizures, or have a condition affecting the central nervous system such as a brain tumor or head trauma. Your doctor may be able to prescribe alternatives that do not interact, or you may need a dose adjustment or more frequent monitoring by your doctor to safely use both medications. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol during treatment. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

bupropion ↔ trazodone

Applies to: bupropion, trazodone

Talk to your doctor before using buPROPion together with traZODone. Combining these medications may increase the risk of seizures, which may occur rarely with either medication. In addition, buPROPion can increase the blood levels of traZODone, which may increase other side effects. You may be more likely to experience seizures with these medications if you are elderly, undergoing alcohol or drug withdrawal, have a history of seizures, or have a condition affecting the central nervous system such as a brain tumor or head trauma. Your doctor may be able to prescribe alternatives that do not interact, or you may need a dose adjustment or more frequent monitoring by your doctor to safely use both medications. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol during treatment. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

[JanCarol]

That was the major ones (I'm having trouble posting all these, there are so many!)  Here are the "moderate" ones  (I lost the pictures - they are all WARNING: Moderate!):

 

 

propranolol ↔ bupropion

Applies to: Inderal (propranolol), bupropion

BuPROPion may increase the blood levels and effects of propranolol. You may need a dose adjustment or more frequent monitoring by your doctor to safely use both medications. Contact your doctor if you experience increased side effects or your condition changes. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

carbamazepine ↔ baclofen

Applies to: Tegretol (carbamazepine), baclofen

Using carBAMazepine together with baclofen may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

buspirone ↔ baclofen

Applies to: BuSpar (buspirone), baclofen

Using busPIRone together with baclofen may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

clonazepam ↔ baclofen

Applies to: clonazepam, baclofen

Using clonazePAM together with baclofen may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

trazodone ↔ baclofen

Applies to: trazodone, baclofen

Using traZODone together with baclofen may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

clonazepam ↔ escitalopram

Applies to: clonazepam, escitalopram

Using clonazePAM together with escitalopram may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

propranolol ↔ baclofen

Applies to: Inderal (propranolol), baclofen

Propranolol and baclofen may have additive effects in lowering your blood pressure. You may experience headache, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, and/or changes in pulse or heart rate. These side effects are most likely to be seen at the beginning of treatment, following a dose increase, or when treatment is restarted after an interruption. Let your doctor know if you develop these symptoms and they do not go away after a few days or they become troublesome. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you, and use caution when getting up from a sitting or lying position. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

clonazepam ↔ trazodone

Applies to: clonazepam, trazodone

Using clonazePAM together with traZODone may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

carbamazepine ↔ bupropion

Applies to: Tegretol (carbamazepine), bupropion

CarBAMazepine may reduce the blood levels and effects of buPROPion. Contact your doctor if your symptoms worsen or your condition changes during treatment with these medications. Your doctor may be able to prescribe alternatives that do not interact, or you may need a dose adjustment or more frequent monitoring to safely use both medications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

propranolol ↔ buspirone

Applies to: Inderal (propranolol), BuSpar (buspirone)

Propranolol and busPIRone may have additive effects in lowering your blood pressure. You may experience headache, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, and/or changes in pulse or heart rate. These side effects are most likely to be seen at the beginning of treatment, following a dose increase, or when treatment is restarted after an interruption. Let your doctor know if you develop these symptoms and they do not go away after a few days or they become troublesome. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you, and use caution when getting up from a sitting or lying position. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

carbamazepine ↔ buspirone

Applies to: Tegretol (carbamazepine), BuSpar (buspirone)

Before using carBAMazepine, tell your doctor if you also use busPIRone. This combination may cause drowsiness, dizziness, lightheadedness and confusion. If you take both medications together, tell your doctor if you have any of these symptoms. You may need a dose adjustment if you take both medications. Avoid driving until you know how the medications will affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

propranolol ↔ clonazepam

Applies to: Inderal (propranolol), clonazepam

Propranolol and clonazePAM may have additive effects in lowering your blood pressure. You may experience headache, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, and/or changes in pulse or heart rate. These side effects are most likely to be seen at the beginning of treatment, following a dose increase, or when treatment is restarted after an interruption. Let your doctor know if you develop these symptoms and they do not go away after a few days or they become troublesome. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you, and use caution when getting up from a sitting or lying position. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

baclofen ↔ escitalopram

Applies to: baclofen, escitalopram

Using baclofen together with escitalopram may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

carbamazepine ↔ clonazepam

Applies to: Tegretol (carbamazepine), clonazepam

CarBAMazepine may reduce the blood levels and effects of clonazePAM. You may need a dose adjustment if you have been taking clonazePAM and are starting treatment with carBAMazepine. Let your doctor know if clonazePAM becomes less effective or is no longer controlling your symptoms. In addition, using these medications together may increase side effects such as dizziness, drowsiness, and difficulty concentrating. Some people may also experience some impairment in thinking and judgment. You should avoid or limit the use of alcohol while being treated with these medications. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

bupropion ↔ clonazepam

Applies to: bupropion, clonazepam

Excessive use of clonazePAM, or abrupt discontinuation following long-term use, may occasionally trigger seizures in patients taking buPROPion. Talk to your doctor before using these medications together if you have any questions or concerns. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

propranolol ↔ trazodone

Applies to: Inderal (propranolol), trazodone

Propranolol and traZODone may have additive effects in lowering your blood pressure. You may experience headache, dizziness, lightheadedness, fainting, and/or changes in pulse or heart rate. These side effects are most likely to be seen at the beginning of treatment, following a dose increase, or when treatment is restarted after an interruption. Let your doctor know if you develop these symptoms and they do not go away after a few days or they become troublesome. Avoid driving or operating hazardous machinery until you know how the medications affect you, and use caution when getting up from a sitting or lying position. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

carbamazepine ↔ trazodone

Applies to: Tegretol (carbamazepine), trazodone

Using traZODone together with carBAMazepine can alter the blood levels and effects of both medications. Specifically, traZODone levels may decrease, which may make the medication less effective. At the same time, carBAMazepine levels may increase, so you may be more likely to experience side effects such as headache, dizziness, nausea, slurred speech, vision problems, tremors, and incoordination. Your doctor may be able to prescribe alternatives that do not interact, or you may need a dose adjustment or more frequent monitoring by your doctor to safely use both medications. It is important to tell your doctor about all other medications you use, including vitamins and herbs. Do not stop using any medications without first talking to your doctor.

 

carbamazepine ↔ escitalopram

Applies to: Tegretol (carbamazepine), escitalopram

Consumer information for this minor interaction is not currently available. Some minor drug interactions may not be clinically relevant in all patients. Minor drug interactions do not usually cause harm or require a change in therapy. However, your healthcare provider can determine if adjustments to your medications are needed. 

For clinical details see professional interaction data.

 

 

[JanCarol]

Now this will be hard work, but please look through these.  Print it out if you have to - and highlight the symptoms that you recognize.

 

What symptoms are you having?  Please share it with us?

 

We all want off the drugs - but we also want to do so as safely, carefully, and wisely as possible.

 

Welcome to SA, you will find there are stories here to inspire you - we all suffered, we all are suffering, we all may still have problems going forward - but I have met very few who would go back, once they start coming off of the drugs.

 

It's never too damaged.  But please tell us?  What's your damage?

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Bubble, i have been taking these meds for 1 and half yrs probably since last time i was hospitalized for 1 yr they didn t know what was so wrong with me, was at home bedridden from other fast withdrawals per psychiatrist, clonazepam CT I think. In the hospital I was taking valium and zoloft ( swiched from zoloft to escitalopram) , tried to decrease prior at home the valium and the friend that was helping me wanted to do it too fast, I was screaming of pain and what not, got into the hospital because I was probably really bad, crying constantly ( severe benzo withdrawal again), the dr started decreasing the valium ( I was also on gabapentin) , slow and then really fast until i got to the ER. My dr would not believe I was probably very depersonalized from the withdrawal but thought I was doing it on purpose, I stayed there 1 yr and they abused me in all ways, with other meds after the withdrawal because they have no idea about withdrawal, they would say is just anxiety and I was crying and scraming in pain, pacing constantly ( crazyakathisia), my head was hurting burning and much more. The dr said very upset: do you know you are addicted to the valium? Like it was my fault and I was the worst piece of human being in the world.....Than Seroquel ... I think i was psychotic, pacing on and on couldn t stop, couldn t eat, begging my dr to take me off of it, he was just saying it was anxiety.... And much more... Then he finally took me off, I was on tegretol and gabapent to help with valium withdrawal( which cauzed terribleface teeth pain- not sure how it is called..neural trilgemia??), started trying on me Latuda and other meds to stabilize to no avail, then we stopped at wellbutrin. I was also taking Baclofen for neck rigidity muscle spasming like crazy, Propranolol for my heart beating like a drumand palpitations, Buspar for valium witdrawal, i was getting worse , it was my fault because I was not trying hard, I was a recluse....mind and body totally gone, couldn t communicate literally the dr would say I did not want to/ or that i had a personality disorder..... i couldn t think, i was frozen, unresponsive!!!!!!

I will continue , I have to stop

God bless!!!!

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Jan Carol

Please read my postings at the begin of the thread for more symptoms

Thank you

[bluebalu86]

Faith

 

You have been through so much. Your situation is complicated and I'm sorry I can't be of much help. I just wanted to say welcome to the forum, it's a very nice place and you will find a lot of help and support here. We have very knowledgeable people on board who will help you with all of your issues. You have come to the right place. This is going to be difficult and will take some time, but you will get better. Hang in there. You are not too damaged, everything will be alright once you get the medication mess sorted out. You will be fine. Wishing you the best of luck all the way from Bulgaria

[LoveandLight]

Faith..I'm so glad you've found this place..

[bubble]

Thank you for writing all of that Faith especially since I know things are not easy for you at the moment.

 

It made me sad and angry to read about the way you have been treated at hospital. That's why most of us feel that in moments of agony places that are supposed to help us only do us more harm.

 

But the good news is that our brains have a remarkeable capacity to recover and I believe that by taking your drug situation in your hands you have started that process.

 

It seems that you now understand that most of your symptoms lately have been a result of withdrawal.Doctors reacted in their usual way by throwing in more drugs which in turn caused your oversensitive nervous system to overreact, more drugs were added resulting in dangerous interactions and more symptoms.

 

It's awful that your doctors blamed their mistakes and ignorance on you. But you understand this now. If you still have a friend around willing to help you please tell him/her to read about the right way to taper if you are too unwell to do so yourself. It was life saving for me.

 

You are at the moment taking I believe 4 antidepressants so I would start by tapering one of them that you have been taking shortest. So which was the last added?

 

No new meds, coming off as fast as your body allows of the ones you are on, but one by one, observing your symptoms and if they worsen hold. We recommend tapering 10 % of the current dose every 30 days but given the dangerous interactions I would risk going faster, maybe 25 and see how you feel. You should start feeling better as the dosages decrease but in a controled manner.

 

Which were the more recent drugs added?

 

Take care.

Bubble

[Faithbarelysurviving]

There are other hospitalizations before the long one, ..with other benzo withdrawals, ssri's, antipsychotics!!... That is why i am so disabled. I have been trying to withdraw the past 9 yrs, getting more and more disabled mind and body, of course withdrawing too fast not knowing about prctg and holding, but pushing through withdrawals like craz, so pushing my system much over the limit... every time with a different med added. For me medication did not work from the start, I very very depressed and got bad reactions until the hospitalisations started....

The antidepressants i am taking are escitalopram, wellbutrin( bupropion actually), trazadone and which else?

Thank you

Faith

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Thank you Bluebalu

[Altostrata]

Welcome. Faith.

 

I put the antidepressants in bold:

 

bupropion 150 mg in the morning,
clonazepam 1 mg three times per day,
baclofen 10 mg 3 times per day,
buspar 10mg at dinner, 6.2mg in the morning,
Escitalopram 15 mg morning
Tegretol twice a day x 100mg
Trazadone 50 mg
Propranolol 20 mg twice a day

 

Buspar is supposed to be an anti-anxiety drug, as are clonazepam and baclofen, both of which act on the GABA system. Tegretol is an anti-seizure drug that is also supposed to be calming; propanolol does the same but is a blood pressure drug.

 

We would say you are taking 3 accelerators (the antidepressants) and 5 brakes. That's a lot of redundancy in your drugs. Looks like your doctors wanted to crush your symptoms and threw in the kitchen sink.

 

Bubble has a good idea: Which drug was added last?

 

They all need to be tapered, but propanolol is probably the easiest to come off. See Tapering Beta Blockers or Alpha Blockers

 

Links to information about tapering the other drugs is here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/300-important-topics-in-the-tapering-forum-and-faq/

 

We know of few doctors in Canada to refer people to minimize drugs. You might contact this doctor http://www.psychiatry.utoronto.ca/people/dr-martin-a-katzman/, he has an interest in holistic medicine http://www.ccnm.edu/press_release/holistic_mental_health_conference_pathways_empowerment and may be reasonable about tapering your drugs.

[LoveandLight]

Faith we are all rooting for you and behind you here x

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Thank you Love and Light. Thank you all and please do not feel sorry for me. Just pray for me please, so that God will help me the best He knows. Maybe it is all my fault and now I am paying, but everybody else around me is paying too because I am no good to anybody

God Bless us all

[mammaP]

I am so angry on your behalf, it is criminal what they have done to you! Please contact the doctors that Alto has posted links to, hopefully they will be able to help you. We are all here for you.  Sending you one of my special Mamma hugs. 

[SelmaLady]

Faith, You have my prayers. 

[bluebalu86]

Faith, I am also praying for you. This is not your fault. 

[ang]

Thank you Love and Light. Thank you all and please do not feel sorry for me. Just pray for me please, so that God will help me the best He knows. Maybe it is all my fault and now I am paying, but everybody else around me is paying too because I am no good to anybody

God Bless us all

Faith, I feel like this sometimes too.   But you are not bad, neither am I.  We were misled, lied to.  And when we get sicker, we just get rejected, and they blame the "disease" not the horrible drugs.    In a weird sort of way, if I feel it is my punishment, I can cope?  Weird, not reality, but I can sort of cope...like I have to persevere, until my punishment is over, and I get well.?  Whatever works, whatever gives us determination?

 

I too have been to hospital, and treated badly, but only 3 weeks for me!  Gosh, you are on a pedestal!  gosh if you can go through that!  Wow, you are strong...Pure grit and survival, wow! You need to give yourself a big,pat, and remember, and always remember how tough you are!  I am in awe of you..............

 

I have had drug induced psychosis, schizophrenia, mania, all of the damn things, but luckily I knew they were drug induced, they didn't last long, but when they happen in WD, I can ride them out..  

 

Yes life is survival at present for you.............   but geez, what you have been through!  

 

People here are lovely, and know a whole heap more than me.............  I am just saying, like wow!  You have gone through all this, and still fighting!  The fight is much, much easier with proper guidance, this site and others here........ well, they have made my life bearable, while I wait, tread water, and recover.

 

big hug, coming your way!  All the way from Australia x   Spring there?  Is it pretty?

[AliG]

 Hi Faith,  You are in a good place to deal with this -  the best, in fact.  With support and guidance offered here, you will eventually heal.  It might take some time, but you will be ok.  

[luv2knit]

Oh,my! Praying for you, Faith. This is not your fault.

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I knoe I have severe neurologycal damage plus the behavioural changes, cognition, thinking, allthe senses and much more. These things and withdrawals can do this to people...Maybe some form of induced dementia.... The things i pray the most is for some relief, so that my kids can see me smile, to not give in to suicide or harm somebody else, my symptoms are inhuman, this must be a form of evilness. Thank God I found you but you have to forgive me, I am very negative in go in the darkest places and i am very mean and what not, twiching my head, feelings in my head and body that are torture, delrious??paranoid? Psychotic? Cannot go to a walk, don t even knowhere i am, my brain is giving up...

And i cannot think of anybody else, that s how disabled i am, put myself in somebody elses shoes like i was always was doing, taking care of everybody and listening and caring...even now, i have moments when if my 9 yr old is hurt and he tels me it hurts him, i feel it in me, it hurts me physically and i cannot take it...i cannot say the prayers with them because i am so uncapacitated mentally and physically, but I Pray for them... I think I was a very sensitive person and there was so muchstress and so much blame and what not from the people that were supposed to love me, always affraid and anxious and keeping it inside, I just collapsed, couldn t take it anymore....and me putting so much pressure on myselfat the same time....i like to believe that i as happy too, i don t remember anything, i must have I have videos and pictures were i was normal....

Thank you for your patience and love, i want to be able to give you back the same and more when i ll be in a more normal frame of mind...i hope i will someday but i will sure pray for you all!

Love and feel better,

Faith

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Jan Carol, I probably have most symptoms there, actually much worse except i am not in a coma...

I am affraid starting to go off meds will make it worse... or maybe i am wrong, i do not knot cannothink right

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Can anybody say how I would know if I had adverse effects from clonazepam? My mind is in total confusion, I think that is the right word to express how i am??? totally lost of place and time, disoriented?? no reference point of "earlier in the day" or recollection of memory that i have written here or when i have written, if i ate or not,, i just am in bed...delirium?? I cannot even describe what i am going through, i am very incapacitated mentally, i hope these explanations are close to how i really am. If I go to the hospital which i am very paranoid to do do, what will they do for me?? put me on other meds? Would that be good? I think I am totally insane. I am in bed and almost constantly "sleep" or whatever that is really, get awaken by alarm to take the meds just like a robot, somehow i think i take them right but i do not wake up at the right time many times because i cannot hear anything, is like i am dead, i am starting to shake, I think it is a new symptom) my legs are shaking, feet more precise, hands, i think i may be getting worse, i cannot even compare. O God, i feel totally crazy. My husband has no idea how impaired i am, takes it likely i think, says he doesn t want to hear about it anymore. I think i am really alone, i cannot contact any of my friends, paranoid and very out of it, i cannot make a phone call or answer the phone or take a shower, i am constantly out of it. Is like i am dead and "sleeping" and when not "sleeping" or my brain shutting down, I am completely out of it or mad..What do I do ??? What is this? What am i and what's so wrong with me??? And When i can if can I eat and crave sweets like crazy! I think some mths ago i decreased my Buspar as my dr said, from 20mg to 16.something, can also be withdrawal? And i am sweating like crazy, do not know who is doing what, the kids my husband, i am not sure i realize well who they are

Please be here for me

Faith

[LoveandLight]

Faith so sorry..I relate to the brain shutting down feeling..you described it well..like your asleep but actually awake. I think a lot of people here have felt this. Xx

[Faithbarelysurviving]

It is literally shutting down and i fall asleep but it is not a normal sleep, i don t know if it is myoclonus because my everything gets tense can t kepp my eyes open like my muscles are shutting them down, my head is twiching and have uncontrolable neck spasms that hurt like crazy, jaws are tight cannot speack and i try to relax and fall in this disturbing sleep and when i wake up after 3-4 hrs!! During the day, it is again maddening what's happening, barely take my meds i can barely think which one to take, then go back in bed anf that sleep again, shaking sweating, feel things in my head...dystonia? dyskenisia? All the symptoms of something very evil... I think I still have crazy withdrawal from the last year valium withdrawal...and i went to the hosp for help...my dr is an incompetent considering he was tellling me all the time he has seen 30000patients in his life, but had now idea about withdrawal, i begged him to slow down and the answer was well we are going to withdraw until you re 60... yes i will it is my body and mind that you have screwed up worse than how i already was....criminals, they should be fed up these things in their food and then stop and so on... God people what you can see in a psychiatric hospital and then getting pushed in a mental institution....they try everything on you, people have reactions, scream in pain, they get put in the quiet room with the help of security, get injections "to clm them down", then they get sedated like crazy...my dr had a patient whom he prescribed God know what that he would not wake up, he was so young, they couldn t wake him not the dr not anybody....they were shaking him i could hear from my room...when he finally did, he was dragged by two nurses to eat something...he started crying, revolting of what the heck they were giving him, security put him back in the quiet room, he was crying that they could kill him than torture him like that...he was only 18.....i think being in jail is a privilege...sorry for being like this or if i am offending anybody...

[Faithbarelysurviving]

Thank you Love and Light... That is a beautiful and hopeful name you chose

Faith