Redmanone: Withdrawing from invega sustenna

[InvisibleUnless]

the catch-up (feel free to break it into smaller posts if that is preferred on here):

 

Yea i used to party, but mostly i just smoked weed. I tried adderall and was very sensitive to it. I would turn into a tweaker and spend all day trying to make a sow a shirt pocket out of rags onto an old shirt. I thought it would be kinda "custom designed" lol. I also did a lot of xanax. And some tabs. Mostly hydrocodone and sometimes tramadol. I never have done any street drugs... Molly, crack, heroin, meth. Kinda wanted to try molly though because i have heard of its absolute euphoric state. Im not going to lie sometimes i pop a couple tabs to see if i can get a little feeling of a high. So far nothing. Well last time i got really tired a couple hours after using. Im not sure if that was connected or not. Anyway i have to talk to you about something. After i got my second shot. (This would put me at 390mg total) i started to get this strange vertigo feeling in my frontal lobes. Im guessing it was my mesolimbic pathway being taken over. But it got to the point where i would cry out in agony it was so intense. Anyway im glad you are healed to the point of having a girlfriend. Honestly i wouldnt be able to achieve an erection in a sexual situation. Everyday is a chore for me. Ive been getting severely depressed lately. I cut my wrist pretty badly last night. My mom doesnt know what to do with me. I dont know how this will get any better. Do you think once this flushes out of my system my receptors will be back? Ive had a blood plasma level test and that rated me at 9.4. Im not sure what normal level ranges are. Maybe in the 20s.. But they said it was a very low amount still left in me.

molly, heroin, and meth are all lab-created medications that were eventually blacklisted. you can still get scripts for them if you know the right docs/meet the proper criteria---hallucinogens have seen a lot of success as therapeutic aids, and meth (no surprise) has been used or included in other drugs as weight loss medications, which is pretty much insane. thats all neither here nor there, as i definitely do not suggest taking any of those, and you were not proposing so. but, as others have mentioned, any drugs whatsoever can hamper or complicate your recovery---this includes common over-the-counter items like tylenol or prilosec. some people do fine still medicating with those as needed (headaches or heartburn or whatever), but its something to approach with caution and a consideration of the degree of personal necessity.

 

the brain is one of our most plastic organs, however the receptors will not return to normal form and function only shortly after discontinuation. they have to re-establish an equilibrium gradually, and will require regrowth/repair as well. this is especially because many medications, including antipsychotics, involve an "irreversible antagonistic effect", which means the receptors will not be returning to their pre-drug state and you pretty much have to wait for your body to recycle/replace them. i dont know the rate of action for that kind of thing, but one would imagine it is not immediate, and can probably be gradual, as the renewal of our constituent parts is a constant process.

 

i definitely understand the feeling of every day, and every task, being a chore, and feeling completely unfulfilling.  moving on to self mutilation is not a good sign, but i do partly wonder what thats about, if you feel comfortable sharing.  that is, people cut for a lot of different reasons and it would be helpful to find a better way to address those needs/feelings, which begins with what you feel a lack of in the situation.

 

i would not put much stock in what doctors say about your ambient levels of drugs or drug-related biochemical changes---they dont even know the long term influence of quitting antipsychotics and thus have no means to even quantify it to seek measurements of it.  also, blood levels for some things tend to be the last measurements to be significantly out of whack---your other tissues can sacrifice their well-being and functionality to maintain healthier blood so the circulating nutrients and environment are not compromised, preserving holistic and brain functioning at the cost of accelerated individualized damage.

 

you are still in the very beginning of dealing with the fallout of an antipsychotic, so its definitely not a time to be prognosticating about your future and how bleak it might be---contrary to what the doctors may be trying to tell you, recovery and/or withdrawal can often last far more than the 3 weeks following discontinuation.  you will heal to some degree, as you have already reported small measures of recovery, and letting them panic you by throwing out unscientific timetables is the route to self-doubt and paranoia.  your body knows what it needs, so if you can treat it gently and find ways to listen (such as indulging food cravings, or spontaneous desires to lay down for a while), your healing can be better managed through your care than the care of those who caused these issues to begin with.  (im not saying to cut doctors out entirely---most people dont have the expertise to deal with potential complications, or have a wider medical view of the situation, and im certainly no doctor myself...im just saying that you are more trustworthy than they, even if they try to corral you into thinking otherwise.) also to note, obsessing about it is actually a common side effect of the biological changes caused by these drugs...locked thought-cycles and ruminating, which can be triggered by the normal level of apprehension and worry a person would feel in your situation. this is part of why many people find help in meditation, changes of environment (walking in a natural setting at least a few times a week), or trying to introduce novel elements into your life, like new games or conversational ideas or activities/hobbies that have a learning curve (as they engage your brain and pull it away from the paths your brain is walking into the carpeting).

 

I would consider tapering the Zoloft.  It has been implicated in sexual dysfunction in many people, as well.

 

In Australia, it is considered a direct correlation between cannabis use and schizophrenia, in males ages 18-25.  This is why cannabis will never be legal here, in spite of all of its other (antispasmodic, etc.) benefits.

 

If you read the threads here, there are a number of people who started out in their youth using recreational drugs, including heavy hallucinogens (LSD, Molly) and it ended with decades of psych drug use.  

 

In withdrawal, it is considered "destabilizing" to use cannabis. (http://www.willhall.net )

 

Now for the part you may not like - Oskcajga and Invisible have a point:  it is more important for you to focus on your brain than your genitals right now.  This is a yoga perspective, and you can ignore me if you like, but I just want to give a different viewpoint.  It takes energy to heal your brain.  It also takes energy - essential vitamins, minerals, aminos, essential fatty acids - to ejaculate.  The more you retain, ignore your genitals, and the more time you spend playing sudoku or even Call of Duty or working crossword puzzles, or taking sensory challenges (good one Invisible!) - your genitals will heal alongside your brain.  Leave the genitals alone for a week, a month, and see if you don't get a better result then.  From a yogic perspecitive, using them daily will take away energy from the healing of your brain.

 

Woo, tough to talk about that stuff.  I don't envy your journey - but you found the right place.  People here have been through many many things.

 

Now to end on a more positive note, please learn about Omega-3 fish oil and Magnesium.  We find that they help everyone heal their brains  Your brain is made up of a high percentage of DHA, which the fish oil will feed.  And magnesium is responsible for something like 300 different neurotransmitter cascades.  These can help you to feel - again - better.

as several people are saying, Redmanone, there is often a more ideal tapering order, and i do recommend their advice.  i tapered in a kind of awkward order due to the different things i was on, but your cocktail is much more well-defined.  wellbutrin is an NDRI, and zoloft an SSRI, which means norepinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin are the primary targets...however, significant doses of antipsychotics pretty much tank a lot of that and can override contradicting medications due to their binding capabilities/preferences.  thats why you had that strong come-on of depression even though you were taking two antidepressants simultaneously.

 

i would avoid cannabis in your situation, though only agree that cannabis use can predict later psychiatric incidents rather than creating their likelihood.  sometimes it can accelerate your induction into states of unhealthiness, or create acute situations that may or may not resolve over time, so 'recreational' use of any drug is not something to take lightly by far.  and, in your situation of potential hypersensitivity, it can be really, really bad news.  even months from now, i would not recommend giving it a shot unless there are valid therapeutic reasons, because brain recovery is less linear in construction. (recreational drug use, especially chronic use, is associated with the personality types and bodily constructions that put an individual at higher risk of poor coping and mental illness, so even if there isnt always a causal element, the connection is something to mind in terms of how you make your decisions.)

 

ejaculating is less taxing on your system than orgasm, i would think, though.  your body is producing semen whether or not you use it, but there is an enormous buildup and release of a lot of the chemicals that psych meds interfere with during stimulation and orgasm, and this can contribute to healing but also prematurely deplete the materials your body is using to repair itself.  i have found both incidents to be true at various times for me, so, as with other aspects, trying to be in tune with what your body is in need of in the moment can help guide you regarding that.

 

fish oil and other supplements, as mentioned by JanCarol and also the huge and handy thread on supplements, can help your brain acquire the building blocks it needs to heal more quickly, however your potential hypersensitivity also applies to those types of things, and caution should be used in experimenting with them (low dose beginnings, etc---see the thread for specific advice if it seems like something you want to try).  ive found that many supplements are...rather targeted, and dont always provide the same holistic benefits of an improved diet.  i have krill-oil pills, but they are not a substitute for eating some fish or shrimp, because they dont include everything my brain would want along with the essential fatty acids to digest things and put them to best use.  i end up feeling only selectively and partially 'energized' in the brain, like something is helped but something is lacking, and it can become uncomfortable.  everyone has their own response and bodily needs, so theres some legwork involved in finding what works for you.

 

tapering the Zoloft so soon after coming off the Invega might not be the best idea.

 

You wrote in this thread you're feeling some sensation in the tip of your penis so it might be just a matter of waiting a bit longer for full sensation to return.

 

I also noticed you wrote that you took half of your Wellbutrin dose a few nights ago. Maybe one of the mods or someone else more knowledgable than me can chime in but in my opinion that could be a mistake. Wellbutrin is considered the "sexy energetic" SSRI so tapering that drug so fast could surely cause sexual dysfunction problems on top of what the Invega is doing. As I said before, everyone is different and you may be one of the lucky ones who can taper a little faster.

 

Whatever you do, I hope you feel better...and I hope the depression lifts. All of this will pass for you...try to be as systematic about your taper as possible, it will make a big difference.

this is some good advice as well.  i think wellbutrin is more liable to increase your 'libido'/desire than your actual ability to physically function, so it can instead result in elevated sexual frustration, but i cant speak for everyone elses experience on it (only my own).  giving things time, and only periodically testing your functioning (not just sexually) can help you have space from focusing too much on the process but still find encouragement in the small changes that occur, like the slight return of sensation you have reported.  i can echo the stress on consistency and discipline in administering the right doses---tapering can be a tricky proposition so try to pay mind to how quickly you go and to maintaining leveled-off doses for a while before proceeding further (and only tackle one medication at a time!) you can sometimes alternate between which you are tapering and which you are letting settle at a lowered dose if your body can handle it, but reductions should generally be single-medication at a time; do consult that specialized thread.

 

InvisibleUnless, would you share with us some selections from your paper with a new topic in the Symptoms forum?

id be fine with sharing anything i have written for my doctors, but i hesitate to post things publicly because phrase-matching could suss out my identity in a flash. i dont figure im being pursued by big pharma or anything, but my postings on here could potentially interfere with the opinions or decisions of doctors i am still seeing should they be searching online for corroboration, looking to read the sources i referenced, or seeing if i yanked these things directly from somewhere. if there is a hidden portion on there, or a way to hide that particular thread from non-member viewing, id be ok with throwing materials on there. it might seem a bit anticlimactic, because i created very simplistic and direct arguments towards only the most essential points supporting post-discontinuation symptoms, as it was meant as a preliminary primer.

[Redmanone]

wow invisible, im not trying to sound redundant.. but when did your sexual function begin to return after quitting your APs? I also wonder whether mine will take longer because i recieved a depot shot. and you said that brain recovery doesnt begin to happen once the medicine leaves the system. only after the brain replaces the old damaged receptor? i thought once cells die, they are gone forever. especially in the brain. 

[InvisibleUnless]

its alright to try to get direct answers, its an unsettling situation.

 

"when" is just not a concrete thing, is all.  i was on these meds for 7 straight years, minus a few months towards the beginning where i had no health insurance.  after my last taper-down dose of risperidone, the antipsychotic i spent most of the final 3 years of that period on, you could say i noticed an immediate change.  but it took weeks before the changes were significant enough for me to be feeling like stuff was moving in the right direction---i had no one telling me whether or not these changes were permanent.

 

i was dating again after just like 6 months, but things were intermittent at that point---most often less pleasurable, less functional, and not multi-orgasmic.  i could not always have a satisfactory experience, and it was often far more difficult than usual to achieve orgasm.  i am still in the process of recovering full functionality, 3 years after quitting the meds, but i am at a better, more even place than any time previous, i think.  it can be a slow road, but your short time on the meds might mean you do far better than me after the initial dissipation of the drugs (meaning, after the first 3-5 months probably).

 

but, to be clear, i feel like i am still cycling through burning off fats storing SSRIs, NDRIs, SNRIs, tetracyclics, antipsychotics, etc...my situation is by no means stable or progressing in a linear fashion of improvement.  i took wellbutrin and zoloft, amongst others, and theyre bouncing around along with everything else.  this might be holding me back in ways that wont be a factor for you, or as prominent or prolonged a factor.

 

 

 

healing is not really something that starts or stops, waiting for precipitating events---healing is the constant state of the human body.  if we did not continuously repair and replace our cells, we would die off pretty quick (a scientific impediment to most conceptualizations of zombified humans).  so your body isnt 'waiting' to replace your damaged/engaged receptors, its just that every kind of cell and biological fixture in your body has its own regeneration rate and so it wont be an instantaneous recovery---theres a natural schedule for things, and its always being worked on.  a lot of the food we eat goes towards maintenance and repopulating, as opposed to expending towards mechanical movement, or using your brain to think and regulate your systems.

 

as for your brain specifically, its a bunch of lies and propaganda about drugs or alcohol killing off your brain cells irreparably.  your brain cells are always dying, rather quickly, no matter what you do.  some things can increase the rate of death or burn-out, and some things can effect your ability to regenerate cells (be it a slowing down or an introduction of problems into newly created cells, etc), but substances that are hard on your brain or body dont just kill off some finite number of brain tissue that you can never replace.

 

irreversible binding means the receptor has to be respawned before its capable of functioning as it would have before the drugs gunked it up (took control unilaterally, blocking other things from using it), but normal bodily functioning means receptors are constantly being respawned.  and when sites are too damaged to repair or continue respawning at, your brain can respond by creating new sites so that your chemical homeostasis can be maintained.

 

that is part of what contributes to hypersensitivity dangers in withdrawal---over time, your brain creates more and more receptors for things like dopamine if the drugs are keeping the current ones from being used normally, but when you stop the drugs and the gunked up ones are respawned, you have what can often amount to an overabundance.  that means your normal response can be scaled up to the point of being painful, damaging, or even debilitating.  this is more common in people on the meds for longer periods, so i think it will hopefully be less of a problem for you, or at least lessened in potential magnitude.

 

psych meds can alter how well or how quickly our body repairs certain structures, often making some things 'better' and some things 'worse', though its never really that simple when you are talking about introducing artificial chemicals.  for example, SSRIs are sometimes prescribed to help regrow a more robust neural net for people who had/have degenerative conditions or underwent surgery for some traumas, but SSRI-spurred growth is not the same as natural growth, and while they increase production in that aspect, they can compromise functionality and regrowth in other areas, like altering the floral composition of your gut, leading to digestive troubles, immune problems, mood dysregulation, etc.

 

people are recommending exercises and activities that involve your brain somewhat heavily because part of recovery and natural aging is a 'sculpting' of your neural composition.  the difference between kids and adults is basically that adults are stupider, but more limited in focus (which means an increase in efficiency or productivity within a small scope)---our brains are a bit like bonsai trees, and our decisions and environmental exposures and personal habits all influence what connections are left intact and what is trimmed away in the constant reshaping of our functional structure.  recovering from psych meds means helping your brain get back on track in repairing and continuing to build or refine that dynamic structure.  so, its not just about recovering from 'the crunch'.

 

i am not familiar enough with the physiology of the shot and its slow release to comment as to how different our experiences might be, but i gained about 80 pounds of fat while on meds, and lost 50 or more pounds of muscle and lean tissue that was converted to fat or fattier tissues...that means i have been burning through a significant amount of fat during withdrawal that contains the metabolites of psych meds, or whatever byproducts that can provoke side effects just like initial dosing.  as in the document i sent you, the release of antipsychotic remnants from fat cells is a clinically observed factor that can often delay the onset of primary/acute withdrawal during discontinuation/dose missing, and might contribute to a slightly smoother transition from 'medically significant bodily content' to 'deprivation'---a contrast to classes like benzodiazepines where half-life often has a much greater significance in terms of your experience of an effective dose and wait period before withdrawal can set in.

 

sorry that this got so long again, i hope your answers werent lost in the jumble.  you just ask questions that, while perhaps seeming simple, involve a wide range of possibility and scientific intrigue.

[JanCarol]

Hi Redmanone, you said:

 

 Im really looking for some help and information regarding antipsychotics and how they leave the system. I am more concerned about whether i am going to see some long term damage to my mesolimbic pathway, which antipsychotics have been shown to alter. or at least shrink. I will refrain from the recreationals in order to let my brain try to recoop without any further obstructions. 

 

This is good - so many people want to dig around for what caused and contributed to the condition which sent them to hospital, which I hoped to contribute - but you are looking forward, which is the best way to healing.

 

I have known people on these antipsychotics for DECADES.  One, over 30 years.  I would say I didn't notice cognitive loss or damage until somewhere around year 10.  That's when the tardive dyskinesia kicked in,  that's when the hopes for schooling got lost, etc. 

 

Your term on this drug has been much shorter.  As you noted, it's WAY too early to tell, to talk about damage.  To do so at this point takes you into the realms of "ruminating" and "catastrophizing."  Allow at least 6 months - and as Invisible said, you've already achieved some small improvement, which is great reason for hope.

 

If you are worried about your brain, what are you doing to rebuild it?  Have you ever played Lumosity?   What do you know about the practice of Mindfulness and Acceptance  ?

 

 Here is a weird exercise that I used to do to charge up my brain (may not work for you) - spinning.  Stand, and twirl like a dervish (there is a reason they do that) in an anti-clockwise direction for 10 spins.  Then turn clockwise for 10 spins.  Never do more than 30 spins, and never turn more anti-clockwise than clockwise spins.

 

If that is too esoteric (or uncomfortable) for you, there is always walking, the tick-tock of walking is marvellous for balancing our bilateral brains.

 

Invisible says:  

 

your body is producing semen whether or not you use it

 

Yes, but you can reabsorb the nutrients from it while it is still inside your body.  Outside your body it just becomes, um.  Well, it's not available for your use anymore.  I do agree that orgasm is also intensely energy draining - and a frustrated orgasm would be even more so.  So I would say both orgasm and ejaculation can slow the healing of the brain, by being draining, and possibly stressful.

 

Like others have said, the best way to repair and heal sexual function is to ignore it for awhile. Focus on something else.  After a month, 6 months, you have been busy doing other things, and then you notice - it's better.  Focusing on it could only make things more difficult, in my opinion.

 

You already sound better, Redmanone - I encourage you to challenge your brain, stretch your neuroplasticity.  Exercise if you can, and work puzzles as best you can.  If need be, kids puzzle books can be fun to do - I got some of these while my husband was recovering from his stroke.  

[InvisibleUnless]

thats very interesting---what do you attribute the benefit of spinning to?  i certainly recommend any (safe) physical activity that has a high degree of inter-hemispheric coordination, and things that involve your greater bodily orientation also feel different than things involving only limbs (though conscious mirror, or delayed-mirror limb movements can help my brain re-find itself in the haze sometimes).  i think i forgot to address what i thought was asked previously about spinning sensations in the brain, on that note---yeah, i got that from antipsychotics, and have it in withdrawal.  it can make things dangerous, like exercise or trying to move through spaces or carry food or whatnot, and also accompanied overnight benzo use for me during my initial treatment.  it is passing/healing for me, and is one of the reasons i try to get my walking and other exercises of coordination into my schedule.  i used to be quite physically active doing potentially handicapping or deadly extreme sports type stuff, and i have to hold back my enthusiasm when i know my system is not firing with enough coordination most days.

 

i also have never played Lumosity, which seems even more comprehensive than i anticipated.  ive returned to the 80s and 90s Apple ][ and DOS educational and perspective-orienting games in the process of my healing, for similar reasons.  in connecting the game to your statement, it seems like maybe you gain even more mental balance from doing all one spin direction at once, because your brain is given the opportunity to connect the opposing direction as a pattern and means of corroborative balance.  specifically being dervish-like (which, if i understand correctly, entails a more complex, smooth fishtailing syncopation as to alter the senses in the brain and ears as a means of relieving our limiting perceptual constriction of time/space/gravitation) is sure to have additional benefits, and has a documented effect on serotonin if i recall.

 

as for reabsorption, that is true, however the more voracious guys tend to empty the semen into their bladder after a couple days of 'withholding' rather than letting things continually regenerate.  though, if we are going to push the science---one could even consume his own ejaculate.  that has a lot of health benefits (consuming, on a regular basis, the fluids of yourself or a single partner of either gender)---regulating the immune response, aiding depression, etc.  for some people its a fetish, for others its a spiritual  or health exercise, but ive never really heard of someone newly beginning it at some time in their life without either of those reasons playing a role (though im sure it happens).  i actually have a bit of a concern regarding the potential toxicity of withdrawal semen, though, as many psych meds are drugs that can pass between individuals through the exchange of fluids like milk or sexual lubrication.  and i hope my contributions arent being taken as a suggestion to engage or not engage in a particular frequency of activities---i agree with the other members that sometimes taking a break gives your brain the best chance of fixing things up.  its a bit like taking the heat off the pan when a portion of your food is blackening too quickly; it might feel to slow down the overall cooking, but you cant really have your final product in proper edible form if you leave on the heat and over-char the problem areas.

 

thanks for adding those helpful and numerous examples you posted, i hope Redmanone can find something that helps engage his recovering brain.  shaking it up and not doing one activity for too many minutes or too many days in a row can help keep your brain on its toes and laying down new pathways to process the novelty.  just dont exhaust yourself thinking going hard and fast will be the best route to recovery---you repair and regenerate the most in your sleep, and, like in physical exercise, doing sets of exercises that are short and also varying in intensity across the repetitions is often a more holistic workout than staying at something for a long period.  i feel a burnout when i try to do something for too long (listening to music, talking, etc), so do pay mind to how quickly things can sometimes tire you out...it might take weeks or months before you feel capable of sustained activity lasting even just a couple minutes for some things.

[Redmanone]

Thanks for the replies guys, i probably wont be eating my semen as appetizing as that sounds. Lol ???? i intend on getting a good video that wont poop out on me in a month. Or maybe i can find some other sort of hobbie. Yesterday i got my lab results in the mail. I was rated at 9.4 nanograms/milliliter. The reference was from 20-60. So im at a fairly low amount i guess. Still probably is enough to cause the impotence and definitely the anhedonia. I fear that this antipsychotic has rewired my brain to a more slowly working position. Im tired of fearing though.. I suppose i will shribble up and lay in bed until the day i get better or die.

[Altostrata]

Very interesting posts, JanCarol and InvisibleUnless.

 

InvisibleU, perhaps a little later, when you've stopped educating doctors, you might post some of your work. I've never known psychiatrists to be much for Googling, but it's possible you might meet one who's both curious and Web-savvy.

 

I suggest that Redmanone reduce Zoloft in this phase of the Invega shot wearing off because 1) the deleterious effect SSRIs tend to have on sexual response; 2) Wellbutrin usually tending not to have those deleterious effects; 3) the stupefying effects of Invega might cushion withdrawal difficulties such as sleep issues; 4) if he wants to be drug-free, he has to start somewhere.

 

About recreational drugs: What we see here is that some people are extremely sensitive to psychoactive drugs of any kind, including psychiatric drugs.

 

Drugs such as LSD and MDMA are strong serotonergics which can touch off intense adverse reactions in these people with one dose. Quite frequently, they panic about the chaos in their brains and, volubly upset, go to the hospital, where the standard procedure is to treat them as though they were psychotic and douse them with antipsychotic drugs, benzos, whatever unholy cocktail is needed to quiet them down.

 

The ensuing side effects and disorientation lead people to see psychiatrists who helpfully supply any number of complex diagnoses and drugs. The initial adverse effect from a recreational drug is translated into a spiral of diagnoses and drugs that can last many years, even the person's entire life. (The writer Andrew Solomon's ticket to the drug merry-go-round was initially benzo withdrawal syndrome. He strongly believes he has been treated for depression all his life and cannot live without the drugs.)

 

This may be why there's a correlation between marijuana and schizophrenia in Australia. The adverse drug reaction triggers a diagnosis of schizophrenia, not actual schizophrenia. (Or it could be neurologically various people self-medicate with marijuana.)

 

While you have withdrawal syndrome, recreational drugs and alcohol can add to the scrambling of your nervous system, impeding its return to a normal state. In general, we caution against intoxicants. However, we have a few people here who say that marijuana helps them feel better, so there's that.

[InvisibleUnless]

while i was still on psych meds, i got a script for medical marijuana because it was the only thing that ever significantly helped with anxiety or depression for me, after all those 17 psych meds i trialed.  i only smoked "heavily"---one or two times a day---for a minority of my time medicating with it, but i think that it could have contributed to the speed at which the antipsychotics fried my brain.  weed is actually an antipsychotic itself, but the complexity of its chemical makeup (which includes things that can agitate mental conditions, and a high variability in terms of the ratio of constituent chemicals) means its not necessarily a good thing to blindly go about experimenting with as a medical aid.  the last time i went to a dispensary, i had a very specific conversation with one of the guys working there to ascertain the best medications for treating paradoxical psychoses and other withdrawal symptoms like dystonia without making the mental situation worse overall.  not all workers are honest or knowledgeable, but finding a collective that is best for you often entails having evaluative conversations like that.  also want to reiterate, this isnt a suggestion to try smoking at this stage of your recovery: it would be unnecessarily dangerous and might not even help.

 

cigarette smoking is something highly correlated with schizophrenia diagnoses, with a couple theories as to why the chemicals involved in that might be potentially medicating, or attempting to counter the effects of the highly desensitizing antipsychotics.  research has shown that schiz spectrum diagnoses are themselves not necessarily helped in the short or long term by these pharmaceuticals, but thats another can of worms.  if you are numbed to the effects youd normally feel from them, i advise you to be careful how much you indulge with them.  when on the meds, my tolerances to things like weed and alcohol were raised, but for months after i quit, everything tanked and i couldnt even keep down a sip of vodka or smoke without feeling arch-paranoid.  you might be introducing unnecessary taxation on your organs (liver, kidneys, etc) from additional chemical intake, and also might experience a sudden shift in tolerance or reaction as you navigate this first period of recovery.

 

from the antipsychotic and antidepressants, i think you might go through a stage of chemical rage that can be roused further by your distasteful situation.  something i learned while coming off antipsychotics is that you dont always realize the extent to which your thoughts, thought patterns, and emotional experiences and decisions might be influenced by the side effects of dosing and withdrawal.  its a lot easier to do rash stuff or act potentially uncharacteristically while still feeling like youre actually 'taking your life back'.  giving yourself the benefit of self-examination (reflecting on your state) before making any big decisions would probably save you some trouble.  this regards things like decisions about money (especially big purchases or irreversible investments), relationships (beginning or ending), and how you treat your body (self-harm and punishment, suicidal gestures, or plans to end it all).

 

being pissed off about this is natural and healthy, just dont let it overcome your desire to get on track with a balanced recovery.  (and, as people have mentioned, be careful how you express yourself around doctors!)  whether or not things get better or worse in the short run, i feel very confident you will improve dramatically within the span of the next 12-24 months.  that seems like a really big timeframe, perhaps, but you wont have to wait that long before seeing meaningful changes---thats just a threshold that encompasses definitely feeling a significant change in situation...like how workmen schedule home visits for "between 9AM and 3PM" and usually just mean "we will be there somewhere around 2PM-3PM" (and sometimes end up coming at 5PM or something ridiculous, but, fundamentally, things get taken care of sooner or later---you recover eventually).  as you noted, your brain has been 'rewired', but you will adjust it back to more normal functioning in the months following your discontinuation.  the anhedonia and impotence might not dissolve overnight, but i really do think its only a matter of time before you start seeing improvements.

 

perhaps check out the member threads of other recent individuals who came here after antipsychotics specifically for some inspiration.  they tend to have a lot of similarities---a persistent preoccupation with the rate of recovery, an anger at the abusive nature of antipsychotic administration, a very present concern that the trauma seems irreversible, etc.  after a while of posting (usually a matter of several months), their tone often changes a bit and they start seeing the possibility of recovery or noting positive changes theyve observed.  once you feel a bit more balanced about your recovery prospects, you can do cathartic things like posting informed (obviously negative, but sane sounding) reviews of these medications on frequented drug info websites (ie drugs.com), sharing your story with new members who can relate, and using profanity profusely and for prodigious durations.

 

alto: i have, luckily, been free of psychiatrists for a few years now, but i dont want to potentially compromise the opinions of my non-psych MDs as i await government acceptance of my in-home care application or need their solidarity on a protracted withdrawal diagnosis for other forms or opportunities like employment.  i dont think it would blow things up, even if they did search up my postings, but ill give it a few months to breathe.  i did send Redmanone a private packet, and have created a much more inclusive zip for another member that can be shared more publicly in the future.  for now, people should feel free to write me a PM if they want a peek before its available via thread.  and since people requested a guide to getting disability, i can try work on that sometime and feel ok posting it since it wont be something already in the hands of a gaggle of professionals verbatim.

[Redmanone]

I guess there is no other way to reach recovery than to wait. Waiting seems so hard and pointless right now, since all i do is sit around and waste away anyhow. I guess i have to figure out what it is i need to live for now. Something to keep my mind preoccupied during this trial. Wishing the doctor who did this to me dead isnt helping at all... Mainly just making me question my sanity. Thanks guys for all the support.. Does anyone believe i will see improvement by the end of august? Thats when im suppose to go back to school and right now i see no point in going if im going to be a vegetable.

[Redmanone]

Invisible you said you were on psych meds for years... Exactly how long were you on them? Did you experience all the side effects i am describing while on them?

[InvisibleUnless]

waiting is indeed the most important step.  but a good thing to keep in mind is that, as you are waiting around...sitting or sleeping or vegetating or coagulating, you arent being truly idle.  your body is in the middle of repairs at any given time, and giving it the space and energy and time to make them is actually a positive active decision on your part.

 

the end of august...how long were your injections supposed to last at a clinical level?  i mostly heard of monthly injections.  i do think you will see some measure of improvement by the end of august, but as your dose fades away, you may or may not experience discontinuation symptoms in addition to your primary dosing side effects.  hopefully that will be minimized by it being an injection instead of pills, but its a possibility yet.  i dont think youll feel fully yourself by september, but id be surprised if you didnt feel better than you do now.

 

i was on meds for 7 solid years except for a couple months from mid 2007 to early 2008.  i was on antipsychotics from june of 2005 through spring of 2012 (the middle of june, i think).  i took 5 different antipsychotics, and spent february of 2009 through the last dose in june 2012 on risperidone specifically (aside from a 2 or 3 month trial of geodon in the spring of 2009).  my maximum dose on risperidone was 4mg/day...so not the highest you can find out there, but highly sedating and compromising for my sensitive or hypersensory biology.  i was usually taking a lot of different meds at once...an SSRI + NDRI + antipsychotic (so, just like you, including those specific ones sometimes) + additional sleep aid (either one, or sometimes two different kinds, if i was taking any at all) + anxiolytic (buspar) + anticonvulsant (topamax, for off-label psych but primarily weight loss).

 

i had a ton of terrible side effects the bulk of the duration, yeah.  and each year they usually compounded...more weight gain, more amnesia, more sensory interference.  it got to the point where i couldnt tell who people were by their faces, and spoken words sounded like noise instead of language so i couldnt make sense of it a lot of the time.  i was going 36 hours between each night of sleep for weeks at a time (and had been hallucinating for years even before that point because of the chronic sleep deprivation and REM suppressing properties of the meds).  akathisia, dyskinesia (mild, not as bad as in withdrawal), loss of balance and coordination.  and, like you said, the total loss of motivation, desire, soul, spark, energy, thought.  complete impotence, and even the loss of sexual and romantic desire entirely aside from the inability to function physically.  kidney stones and chronic constipation/hemorrhoids, retroactive and short term memory loss to the point where i couldnt really remember more than a few things of myself from the entire life i had lived (when i formerly had an abnormally vivid and expansive historical memory) and could not remember what i did or what someone said from one minute to the next.  constant nightmares to the extent that i was afraid to sleep because the violence, pain, and death inflicted upon me was emotionally scarring and continued to hurt and haunt even after i was awake again, and dreams that, even if they were not violent, became so physically or emotionally exhausting and prolonged that i felt more rested before i went to sleep instead of after i woke up.

 

that list isnt everything, by far, but it gives you some idea, id figure.  you might wonder why the hell i stuck with it...i havent really fully figured that out yet.  but, things were not so great before the meds, and the meds kept me down in my worst state for years when i probably wouldve recovered or healed eventually without them, and made me think that i had no choice but to find the right cocktail because nothing else worked for me in life anymore.  i came from a background of a mentally unhealthy upraising, endless terrible school/social experiences, the ending of a close romantic relationship shortly before starting the meds, etc.  i hadnt sufficiently developed emotional coping mechanisms, which is common for hypersensitive people who have no idea they are hypersensitive.  i had quite a few ways to evade detection as a human with abnormal range of ability, but the emotional impact of life in general wasnt really receiving adequate treatment.

 

quitting the meds in 2012 made me feel less depressed immediately.  after some months of healing, the anxiety was reducing, and about 6-8 months into withdrawal, i had a spiritually transformative experience (if you want to call it that) in the throes of psychosis and the first dating relationship i had engaged in since basically giving up on life in 2010.  it was a radical realignment of my self-perception, which i had more or less been struggling against making for the whole 7 years on meds, and has made everything in my entire life better than it was.  not because of the practical experience, but how it is contextualized perceptually now.  aside from bouts of increased paranoia, anxiety, etc from withdrawing, my anxiety is no longer preventing me from doing fundamental things like making phone calls or hanging out with friends, and im rarely in a truly depressed state of mind.  you werent medicated for long term psych symptoms, but i bet youll still find yourself growing emotionally/spiritually through the experience of kicking the meds (whatever those things mean to you personally).

[Redmanone]

i doubt that i will have any withdrawel symptoms seems how the depot shot is slowly making its way out of me... i do however find it hard to fall asleep at night tho. but once i get to sleep i sleep for almost the whole day. sleep is my only escape. i wish i could go into a medicinally induced coma until my suffering is over. I find it hard to be affectionate to those who i love. this drug has taken away everything from me. I cant imagine any worse torment than what i am going through right now. if i do make it out of this, i will be so much stronger and will grab onto life and never let go. ill never let it out of my grasp again. it will be here with me to stay, until the end. God, why must i endure this? It seems so unfair... what have i done to deserve this? i feel so exhausted from the mental drain that this is causing me.. my poor brain must be in a pitiful shape by now. 

[InvisibleUnless]

i hope you are right---taper speed doesnt always guarantee escaping withdrawal, but its quite possible you wont have to deal with that, especially after such a short time of medicating before the fade out. sleep was sometimes my escape. the antipsychotics would make me sleep 10-14 hours a night---i couldnt really even get out of bed on less than 12, usually. sometimes the exhaustion (physical, but also emotional) was so bad that i would sleep for as long as 36 hours at a time. all my friends came to know that if i wasnt already hanging out with them, the only other place id be is probably sleeping.

 

comas are not so good for brain recovery (though your comment was mostly in jest), which is the central issue here; you often experience muscular and neural degeneration when your brain and body are not ambulatory for a significant period. brain exercises like those linked by JanCarol would be far more helpful, even though you have to be conscious to perform them. this is rehab, basically...the people attempting to walk after brain surgery and using all their effort to clumsily move their feet at all. its not usually pleasant, but you do get results in time.

 

as cliche as it often sounds, your posts seem to be cycling through the 'steps of grieving loss' or whatever you want to refer to it as. youve suffered a trauma, and the psychological healing is more than just the physical healing. capacity to express and receive affection will return in time, and this sort of trial will galvanize your resolve in life. i dont propose there are 'whys' to be had, but we can choose to respond to circumstances as we wish...that is part of what defines our character. as you werent lobotomized outright, the barrier between your brain as it was before and your brain now is not as daunting as irreplaceable loss: it is still in there, waiting to spruce back up.

[Redmanone]

Would you say that my brain will require additional time to heal once it rids itself of the drug or it will heal gradually as it diminishes? Btw someone on bluelight.com reassured me that the impotency does abade. Hes at 4.5 months although im not sure what his dosages were.

[InvisibleUnless]

"rids itself of the drug" is a more complex matter than just having no blood serum levels, as it can be stored in tissues or have irreversible effects on things (like receptors) that will have to regenerate newly before the impact of the drug is no longer felt.

 

for one thing, antipsychotics totally reverse your metabolic functioning so that your body stores carbs and burns fats.  this means that a diet heavier in carbs than fats (which is common, i would figure) would entail a greater storage of content which can contain the metabolites of the initial dosing.  antipsychotics dont just cause weight/fat gain, but also replace your lean tissues (especially in the abdominal cavity) with fatty tissues, so even if you did not gain weight during your month or two of treatment, there could be some lingering medication stored up there.  these are processes that compound over time, however even one dose is enough to set things in motion temporarily.  which is also to say, it is not a permanent switch---it relies on your taking the medication, and fades away once youve dealt with the mess of it all.

 

due to your short time on the medication as compared to most individuals put on APs, i think you may have to do a bit of neurological recovery but that it should not be as bad as people who tapered too quickly (or didnt taper) and people who were on them for years.  i dont really have enough contact with the range of peoples experiences to tell you even a rough timeframe, but basically any time you force the brain to do something its not designed to do, you have to readjust after the initial dosing effects fade.

 

activities like exercise or eating certain foods might precipitate a burning of the fatty tissues that might have built up in your short time on the invega, and be a bit of a speed bump to recovery.  but, hopefully, if you have anything built up at all, it wont be much, given the short time on the medication.  you will definitely heal more quickly once the remnants have passed completely, since they wont be in there interfering anymore and halfway causing trouble.  this isnt a recommendation against exercising or other things once you feel well enough to do so, its just a warning that your ascension back to normal functioning might feel a bit rocky a times, and you should not take that potential for non-linear progress to imply that you wont recover more fully in time.

 

its good that youre reading up on how others have dealt with it and if they are healing---its the best measure you can find aside from your own health history, since studies and doctors will most likely not be particularly helpful or forthcoming.  you can use the search function on here (or google with the home address of this website included, if the internal search isnt around) to locate the threads with members discussing their recovery from antipsychotics.  places like erowid might have some info for you, but thats often more about the extreme boundaries and horror stories and is usually recreational users rather than strictly medicative patients, so digging would be required.  before i quit all my meds, i did some reading on there and found out a few interesting things (like antipsychotics basically being useless for suicide, even if combined with alcohol or other common psych meds).

[Redmanone]

Well guys, im going to the hospital for a couple days for suicidal tendencies. Im afraid ill get no help due to the fact that we know more about APs than the doctors do. Oh well, they and the drug companies are still drawing paychecks so why should they care right?

[Adagiooo]

Oh Redmanone I am so sorry! The most important thing is that you are safe so if you think that's what you need to do then by all means do it.

 

I will say this though. If you think you can deal with it, don't let them give you anymore long injectable shots...either risperdal or Invega.

 

I wish you nothing but the best. Are you going by choice or are you being forced? I can't say it enough, be safe. I completely understand how you feel. Being suicidal is a horrible feeling and a dangerous feeling. Be well. ((((((((Healing Hugs))))))))

[InvisibleUnless]

im really sorry to hear that, man.  its a good idea to get the help you need before it becomes too much to handle, though; potentially a wise decision.

 

i hope you didnt have to sign any forms that relinquish your discretion over treatment options or when you can be released.  if, when questioned, you make it clear that you did not feel this way until they started you on drugs you didnt need, it would hopefully dissuade them from claiming its a psychological rebound of underlying illness.

 

be careful out there behind enemy lines, i hope you can get hooked up with an inpatient situation that gives you the physical and emotional support you need to heal from this!

[Redmanone]

I havent signed anything yet besides the form upon entering the hospital. I will be very clear that these symptoms are because of the invega and not because of an illness. Thanks for the support guys.

[Adagiooo]

Redmanone, I don't know if this is a federal law, but when you sign yourself in voluntarily you can refuse medications. So, if they want to give you something you don't want to take you can say no. As I said I don't know if this is a state by state thing or a federal thing.

 

Note-- Beware Zyprexa, just my opinion but...

 

Take good care of yourself and be as calm and "unsymptomatic" as possible when you explain your situation to the doctors.

 

I truly wish you all the best and I hope you feel better. ((((Hug))))

[Redmanone]

Well good news guys, i didnt meet the criteria for their level of care... Basically they cant do anything more to help me so im being sent home. Thank God i have the help of the my mother going through this. Idk what id do without her. Hopefully i can tough it through these few months to let my receptors heal.

[InvisibleUnless]

voluntary psych intake here can involve having to sign over your rights to even be interviewed for admission.  that happened to me when i was experiencing too much inexplicable and debilitating pain in the midst of medication-induced psychosis. i went to the local urgent care center, who ran me through intake, then a nurse, and then a doctor, all of whom had no idea what to do or what was wrong; said they couldnt do anything for me, and sent me to the psych ward with a referral.

 

when i got to the psych ward, the clerk said i absolutely had to sign the forms giving them the right to hold and medicate me against my will in order to even see anyone there about anything.  we had to pass by two armed guards just to get in the door---holy s***, man.  since psychiatrists hadnt helped me (before things got so bad that i went to urgent care), and non-psych doctors at the hospital didnt have a clue, i signed the forms and hoped i wasnt screwing myself over bigtime.  luckily, i saw a pleasant, understanding orderly that interviewed me and then talked to his boss and basically came back and said that my ability to feed and bathe myself made me just fine to be on my own; they couldnt offer anything new since i already went to the hospital and had seen psychiatrists and psychologists...so i was out in the cold, but at least i wasnt locked up.  ive known several people/friends who were voluntarily and involuntarily institutionalized...it was helpful for some of them.  some of them got the electric chair and were never the same.

 

just saw your post, Redmanone, that they rejected you as well.  maybe you should get the number for a 24/7 suicide/counseling hotline in your area so you can talk with someone at any hour when you feel unsafe.  most suicide hotlines in the US are apparently NOT 24 hour lines, and i went through looking at almost 10 places to finally get referred to a county one that runs all hours.  they sometimes have online chatlines or places that link to 'helpers' all around the world, but i havent found those types of programs particularly supportive or helpful for this type of situation.

 

i really advise hooking up with a counselor you can see at least on a weekly basis, because the amount of pain (be it physical or emotional) and disability you have been facing generally makes having a therapist a valuable thing.  if you had sustained a traumatic injury from a car accident or emergency surgery, the hospital would have referred you to one already, in many cases, and even if they dont view your medication as traumatic, you are clearly struggling to cope with the damage caused.  in the past year or so, i got a counselor again just deal with the escalating withdrawal problems---its not for any of the psych diagnoses i had accumulated in the past.  we mostly just talk about the stuff in the threads on here---the craziness of big pharma and the surveillance state, physical activities we enjoy, life events, practical steps to take, etc.  its mostly me being the educator, but the main purpose is to have someone to talk to at all about stuff like this.

 

if your insurance doesnt cover that sort of thing, ask your mom (assuming you are at least partially incapacitated) to check into what free or low cost services are available in your area via government programs or charitable organizations.  dialing 211 (the US number for the United Way organization) can help get you in contact with local aid, as the operators are available 24 hours a day to give you lists of applicable services in your area.  they put you in their system and give you a bunch of phone numbers or addresses to places, and that is probably the best first stop for finding free counseling services.

 

im glad youre managing for the moment, and didnt get sent through another spin cycle there.

[Redmanone]

Yea im glad i wasnt admitted. As soon as i walked in there the voluntary changed immediately to involuntary. I wasnt going to be stuck there again against my will. They possibly could have like you said read where i was misdiagnosed as schizo-affective and pumped me full again.. I have a counselor and shes pretty kool. I hope i start to get better soon.. I really need some hope

[InvisibleUnless]

thats exactly what happened to me---diagnosed schizo-affective after i quit the meds and everything went to s*** in ways never before seen while i was on meds or previous to taking them.  here we have scientists in denial about the properties of gravity.

 

do you see your counselor as often as youd like?  if things are this hard, maybe your plan would cover twice-weekly meetings until you feel a bit more stabilized.

 

i think chocolate is a good source of hope.  its helped me heal a lot in the past few years (but make sure your brain can handle it---some stages of discontinuation might be agitated by it).  antipsychotics changed the way everything tasted and how appetizing things were...i stopped eating chocolate even though i would consume it voraciously all the years before.  getting back to some of your old habits is a sign of healing, and some of your former mechanisms of balance (whether thats recreation, relationships, diet, sleep patterns, or whatever) might help bring you back into a more positive state of mind.  chocolate, specifically, has some good stuff, though...serotonergic properties, magnesium, healthy fats, antioxidant elements, etc.  (darker is better for most things, and i always advise avoiding unnatural or unnecessary ingredients in products of consumption, like food or body products.)

 

in some ways, your brain is like a circuitboard, and shooting some energy down previously constructive and well-trod pathways can alleviate some of the alienation and despair you feel in your new situation, even if things dont feel the same yet in revisiting those habits.  theres no way to go except forward once you stop taking the meds, so every day is a form of progress.

[Redmanone]

yea im afraid im turning into a fat ass, the only sense of pleasure i get is from food. and its minimal at that. im aware that the more fat i produce, the harder it is to withdrawel from this stuff. it stores in fat apparently. no i dont see my conselor as often as i would like to. my life is becoming ever so dull, maybe its actually staying constant and im just realizing the dullness of it. I cant believe that this has happened to me. i cant compare it to any hardship ive endured, the loss of my father, getting expelled from school, nothing. i know that coming on here and venting is not very helpful to my situation but as i said before, its all i have. You want to know what my day consists of? Waking up from a nice dream and trying my hardest to fall back asleep. each successful attempt at falling asleep is consistently less sustainable and pleasureable than the prior. The once i can no longer sleep, like now for instance. I muster myself out of bed and waddle into the kitchen. I eat even though i can not feel real hunger... its mostly just to feel my stomache get heavier as the food expands it. then i go sit in my favorite red chair across from the table where my best friend-- a vape pen- lives. I cant watch tv anymore as nothing interests me. Many people would say i'm my own worst enemy, but if they would just walk a day in my shoes. then they might understand. but only a day is hardly comparable to the countless days ive had to endure. No they would have to spend more than just a day to really appreciate my absolute misery. I used to be religious, i trusted in God pretty heavily. Now my faith is at test. How can something so horrible exist in such a world. As the rest of the world carries on with their happy lives, here i am tapping my days away on a computer screen. But even I, wouldnt be so selfish as to leave you guys wondering of my condition after my recovery. If i make it to that stage i will most definitely check up on my fellow sufferers and offer a sermon of hope and renewal. I would not leave them in the dust to wander miserably through the depths of destruction that nueroleptics create. Now that i think about it, it seems like such a strange turn of events that has lead to my demise. I was living happily with adderall to make me feel alive, xanax to wind down, tramadol to go into a slow mo, and pot, well because pot is fuckin awesome. haha if you have seen wolf of wallstreet you'll see my referncing... not sure i nailed it though. he was into some better drugs than me but thats beside the point. im rambling again. anyway i dont know how to crawl out of this hole that ive dug. hope for recovery seems so far away.. i wish i could cry. but in order to cry i would have to feel. i dont know where im at or what im doing here in this universe. it seems as if im just wasting away. im not superior in any way.. i hardly have a vocabulary to express this trial. Is this some sort of devine awakening for me that will make me realize something and in turn come back stronger and wiser than once was? Does that sort of thing even exist? I hope i reach the day that i can say that i have learned something. but as of right now, im that half naked guy tapping on a computer screen. 

[btdt]

I know it has only been a short time as wd goes and a long term thought on recovery right now seem a bit out of the realm of possibilities. Oddly enough as I read your thread today I could very easily recall that stage of this process. I want to say that the time line people are talking of here as in a year or two would be really difficult if there were no changes at all in that time.  However that is not the way it goes for most people some things will show improvement before the year is out. I am a firm believer in food to help your body/brain to recover... if I had to pick the top 3 food anything you crave walking preferably in nature and deep relaxation. 

 

As for an awakening who knows some of us have had experiences that have held us while we took this walk I did... and to this day I frame it as you pick ... hallucination spiritual visit. Whichever I choose to see it as on a particular day is my business I like to leave it open for others to do with as they please... this is my experience

 

I was sick in bed a long time and not getting better I had been to many doctors and hosp in other cities I had heard many things symptoms were treated and many times the drugs to treat the symptoms made me worse.  In this prolonged state of suffering was interrupted one evening by a voice... I heard this:

 

" Keep taking those pills and lay in that bed and die"  

 

To me it was my dead mother... or God. Crazy right likely a hallucination who can say. 

 

I did not take another psych drug from that day to this. Life in interesting in how things present and how we decide to see things.  I made my choice based on my own being others would choose differently and likely laugh me out of the room.  Still I stand firm in my dealings with myself resisting drugs.  

 

Whatever lies ahead of you I hope movies like Wallstreet fade as a reference point for you... the amount of drugs in movies these days are setting up a lot of people to be members of this board sooner or later is what I fear. I guess we can't expect Hollywood to care what effect they have on our young people when it is all about the money. 

 

I think it is time to let drugs go as a source of entertainment often our systems are hypersensitive to drugs after we have a reaction like this it has been my experience that further drugs even alcohol are damaging to me now. 

 

I wish you peace

[Redmanone]

well as for this site, idk where id be without it. so much information and people here to lend guidance and support. im blessed for that. im also blessed for the support of my mother who is suffering along with me through it. without a site that knows the pain of antipsychotic withdrawel, i dont think i would make it very far. Im just wishing for others like me who have went through the battles with invega so they can shed some light on my situation. I was given a nuclear bomb to calm me down instead of a mild sedative. My thoughts are getting dimmer and my head is starting get dizzy at night. im getting weird sensation in my mind. its like all of a sudden a rush of noise races to my head out of nowhere. i dont know what this could be... i just pray that its the medicine making its way out of my body. you are not wanted here anymore invega. i cast you out like the demon that u are. i rebuke you and i rebuke your creators. to hell with you and your sister drugs. you belong in the minds and hearts of child molesters and murderers, not the hearts of innocent humans. 

[btdt]

" My thoughts are getting dimmer and my head is starting get dizzy at night. im getting weird sensation in my mind. its like all of a sudden a rush of noise races to my head out of nowhere. i dont know what this could be"

 

I am glad this site is here for you many have gone down this road with no site making doctors the only source of help and support.  The site owner and myself both lived in that time.  It was a different time and this is for sure a better way.  Promote the site if you can where you can it helps more people the more people it reaches. 

 

As for the quoted bit above expect this and other things to happen this is your body/brain trying to heal as it releases the drug and tries to heal.  Try your very best to ignore it as for the most part all these sorts of things are a side effect of healing... I like to think of it that way.  For much of these sorts of things I tried to frame is as .... that is effexor ... my last drug.  Effexor thought.. effexor songs playing in my head... effexor dizzy spells... not me.  Just the influence of the drug.  It gets easier the further you get away from the drug.. at some point you will once again feel where you start and the drug effects stop.  It is not easy to see in the early stages... and it is very easy to get caught up in the symptoms as some feel profound rest assured they are all just noise nothing needs to be done... 

for the most part but distract yourself from them walk sleep take a bath... play a game wait. 

 

This too shall pass time is the healer now. 

I wish you peace

[Redmanone]

Well i tried but i legit couldnt fall asleep last night. I feel tired but can not fall asleep

[Redmanone]

well guys, i think im dying. i feel absolutely terrible. basically bed ridden. couldnt even get out of the house today. idk whats wrong with me, ive been feeling like this for the past few days. actually dying wouldnt be such a bad thing now. i kind of want this to end. im not strong enough for this **** anymore. ive tried and gave it my best shot. 

[Adagiooo]

Hang in there Redmanone. You can make it through this. You're not dying. Just try to make through the rest of the day and tonight. Take it little bits at a time.

[Redmanone]

Adagiooo, i couldnt fall asleep last night and ive been feeling light headed and dizzy all day. I feel really sick.. Idk whats the matter with me, its like my body is giving up on me... ????????

[Adagiooo]

Oh Redmanone, your body is not giving up on you. Maybe it's the Invega coming out of your system. Hold on buddy. You'll make it through this.

[Redmanone]

Maybe so? I hope its coming out of me. I wonder how long it will take to heal. I met another guy whos going through the same thing as me. I pray that he has the will power to tough through this too. They really pumped me full of that stuff. I almost had 400mg worth in two weeks time. Its a wonder that i didnt die from overdose.

[btdt]

Not sleeping being dizzy and feeling like crap staying in bed are all common withdrawal symptoms and signs your body is healing not giving up on you.  It is trying for sure but it can be made worse by worry we hope to help you thru this time by reassuring you this is a normal reaction to this abnormal experience it will get better in time.  How you spend that time has a bit to do with you... accepting you can't get up and being ok with being in bed for instance trusting your bodies wisdom in these matters some times has a learning curve. 

 

I had a lot of anxiety in the early days about everything once I found a wd site and learned all the things I had were normal for wd.. it helped me to relax about it some. On nights when I could not sleep I found it best to at least rest quietly as my body needed the quiet even if I could not sleep. 

I wish you peace

[Adagiooo]

Redmanone, I know you posted on my thread but i wanted to respond to you on bot my thread and yours so you would be sure to see it.Please try to keep yourself calm and settled. you WILL heal.

 

 

 

My heart breaks for you too Redmanone. I know you're suffering terribly. But please, please give someone else that gun! You will get better. You are off of the Invega and your body and brain will readjust. They really will. Please, just say to yourself that you'll wait till morning to see how you feel. And then keep holding on minute by minute. You've gone over a big hurdle. You got off of the Invega. Now just do what Alto suggested and try to taper the Zoloft. You can make it. (((((((Healing hugs))))))) to you.