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servadei

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Yeah, but my thoughts are mostly how I think I won't get better or how will I end up in a mental institution while forgetting everything or I imagine myself livng with my dad for the rest of my life. Seeing people happy, especially families tears me apart. Nature isn't pretty anymore, it's scary. Even my loved ones scare me, and I scare myself because I don't feel anything towards them. I feel like God hates me.

 

Existential thoughts are like 'omg I exist' 'this reality is like this' 'i can't believe I was born' etc.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Oh and one more symptom. Loss of libido. I feel completely genderless. Not like a girl, not like a boy, just something..

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Lying in bed shaking in fear...it's 5 am and I have togo to work today. Please pray for me

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator Emeritus

 I feel like my dreams are taken away from me (getting married and having kids) but I also realize it has only been 4 months.

 

Its true, its only been 4 months, but more importantly, you are only 19, you have plenty of time ahead of you to live your dreams. My daughter just turned 21 and she's no where near being ready to settle down and start a family. This it the time in your life to find out who you are, become yourself first and then you will be able to find someone who you are compatible with.

 

Existential thoughts are like 'omg I exist' 'this reality is like this' 'i can't believe I was born' etc.

 

I went through a stage of having thoughts like this, they were very scary, I didn't really want to be existing because the reality of it was too overwhelming. But those kinds of thoughts passed. You are going to recover, I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment, but you will. Congratulations on getting the job, I'm proud of you for being strong and for keeping up with what you need to do, in spite of the way you are feeling, that's real courage, when you are over this, you will be so much stronger as a person and capable of much more than you were before.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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Praying for you!

April 2014 remeron 45mg.

June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added

September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!!

Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0

Currently

Remeron 7.5

Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years

October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day

Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so

Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems.

August 2015 down to 0.1 mg

Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg.

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Thank you guys...but my symptoms are getting worse, should i be worried? How much more can it progress...if I get insomnia I'm done for.I won't be able to keep a job if I can't sleep and eat.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Shouldn't have quit cold turkey Jesu Christ i so stupid.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Is it too late to reinstate???????

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Is it possible that i loose my mind. Like forget my family and friends and how to talk/eat/speak

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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stay strong......easy for me to say when I am a complete and total basketcase also.

 

reinstate? That's not a word in my vocabulary...15 years on this crap and came off of it 3xs to go back on it....for me I must suffer. You may need to do something else especially if you C/T!!!!   OUCH

2006-2012 50mgs zoloft
skipped doses every other day for a year and started having anxiety again in March 2012
back on at 50mgs Dec 2013
started taper from benzos April 2014 per Heather Ashton method (c/o from kpin to diazepam)
March 2015 started 1.25mg lorazepam
Tapered off Zoloft in May off in 4 weeks...5 weeks later crashing AGAIN. Dr wanted to start Gabapentin tried it 7 days
Symptoms :burning eyes, anxiety, pounding heart, dizzy, strange head feeling, internal shaking, Overall UNWELL
Taking lorazepam 1.25mg daily

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  • Moderator

Hi servadei--  Sorry to hear that you're having so much trouble.  Being that you're four months out on a CT a full reinstatement is not a good idea, your brain has begun to adjust to not having the drugs and to throw a full dose of them at it would really upset things.  There is a good chance that if you try taking a very small dose, around 2mg, that it may take the edge off and make things a bit more manageable.  It won't happen over night, it will probably take a few weeks to really be noticeable.

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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Sorry guys, I've been having bouts of terror and panic.

I also think reinstatment isn't a good idea, and of course I wouldn't go on full dose. I don't have drugs with me, maybe that's better if I was in tempation to self-medicate which is really bad. I'm just really scared my case is special and that i'll go crazy and forget everything. I even imagine myself living with my dad for the rest of my life unable to do anything for myself which is a life I really don't want. I just want normal....and who knows how long will this last since i quit ct.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Purplestars22

Hello Servadei, stay strong you will get through this. Listen to the mods and you will be fine. Find ways to "change the channel" to calm yourself and don't get too attached to your thoughts they are not reality( I know easier said than done). Remember "this too shall pass" and don't be to preoccupied with the future. Take one moment at a time.

Celexa 20mg 2008-2012 for Social Anxiety

Failed attempt to stop reinstated

1 year taper skipping doses

Celexa free 12/2013

1/2014-5/2014 took 5 htp every other day

Failed Reinstatement 5mg of Celexa on 12/2014 for 5 days only

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It seems I will have to quit my job and return home to seek professional help. My dissociation is getting out of hand and symptoms are getting worse and worse.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Serv,

Sorry to hear that.

I will pray for you,

Tgirl

April 2014 remeron 45mg.

June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added

September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!!

Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0

Currently

Remeron 7.5

Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years

October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day

Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so

Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems.

August 2015 down to 0.1 mg

Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg.

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I am so sorry to hear that... :(

 

And what kind of professional help?, maybe you can try therapy for some time... maybe in some more months things start to get better...

 

Wishing the best

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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I don't know what can save me anymore.

Extremely suicidal today..

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator

If you are having serious thoughts about suicide, then get face to face help now.  There is help available in almost every city in the world, a quick search on google will get you the contact information you need.  This forum is not equipped to handle this type of situation, and we do not consider it a viable alternative for handling the riggers of WD.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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I know. As soon as I get them i make sure my dad and friend knows. Then I talk to whoever I can.

Can i go crazy from withdrawal...?

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I was quite reluctant to join the discussion now because I have already offered my experience and advice as well as a number of other members and you decided to take a different route.

 

I'm very scared of Lexapro and how quitting it made me feel. I felt that I was just going downhill and that my condition was deteriorating. My experience with reinstatement was very positive. I felt immediate relief although I struggled badly for months before symptoms went away.

 

If you seek professional help they will most likely put you on a full dose of Lexapro or something else. Taking 1 mg Lexapro seems like a better option.

 

You will make it.

Current: Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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I'm so sorry I haven't took your advice. I guess it wasn't in my darkest places of mind that a human can feel like this.

I just want proffesional help because I'm dissociation very badly. I'm afraid that if this continues I will loose any contact with reality. And now I how to deal with stress of quitting my job and moving to my home again. Been waking up shaking in fear and nausea a couple of days already. I really should have listened to you. :( If they try to put me on a full dose again I will kindly say no as that could cause I don't even want to know what...

I should also find a good therapist who can stop my dissociation from going further.

I'm paralyzed just by thinking about future as I don't know where will my mind be.

 

Once again, I'm really sorry I havent"t listened to you, I already felt bad then but this is...inhumane.

I hope coming back home will help me. I'm just scared that it will look weird and that I won't get my feeling towards my family back.

 

Oh, I am in PMS? Could that be one of the reasons it gotten really bad last couple of days...?

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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  • Moderator Emeritus

This isn't about listening to me or anyone else. We all have to make choices and live with them.

 

PMS definitely plays a role. One thing I have to point out from personal experience: thinking (obsessively worrying) about future is a neuroemotion and a symptom. When we are stable we don't do that. Try to distance yourself from your fears about the future. They aren't real. This is all just temporary. I made my situation a lot worse in the long run by wanting to control my present situation. You are young. This job isn't so important. Nowhere near as important as your wellbeing. Even if you move in with your father it will just be something temporary and not the rest of your life. Nothing is for the rest of your life and you know it. It 's just that our destabilised brain is playing tricks with us.

 

Fear is our worst enemy. What we are going through is awfully scary but fear is making it worse. We survive. Try to ground yourself by focusing on small details around you to avoid thinking (catastrophising) about the future.

Current: Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013)

Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 
1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg.
2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg
went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days after
reinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours
28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr  2015 1 mg,  25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64  Xanax     9 month hold

24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26

Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic 

I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. 

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Thank you. My dad is usually kind of guy who would told me to cope with it but even he sees how much I'm suffering. I won't lie if I say my wd made us so much closer. In a painful way, unfortunately. If it wasn't for him and my bff I don't know where would I be. I am really grateful for them.

 

I guess reaching into alduthood, moving to another country, leaving mt friends and family and finding a first real job is not good in combination with wd. My real self would be loving it now but there's nothing I can do. I'll move back and take small, careful steps for my recovery. No more big decisions.

 

And if they recommend pills again I'll tell them I would like to start with 1 mg and be monitore, instead of reinstating full dose.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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I wish I could see the future and know which choice to make...

Continue with ct or reinstate 1 mg..

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Is it normal to feel so shocked at home. I thought i would feel a bit od relief but it doesn't even feel like I am home. My family looks like people I just met..and my room? All those makeup, clothes and shoes..like another peršin lived here. As though I took jer body and memories and here I am. I hate this empty feeling. I don't know who I am or where I belong. Will this ever go away? What can I do?

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Servadei, I am also 3 months after stopping my meds. Till now it was ok, but only in time of menstruation or PMS the symptons come always 100 times more than normal. You have to wait until your menstruation is over, than the symptons will get better. I dont think you will get crazy. I get also intrusive thoughts and dissociation, but I dont think that we will go crazy. Some time it will be quite wild and then it go better. For me I am not at the point that I would reinstate. Never ever.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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Yeah..it's over but so many thing happened..all the moving and everything made my dissociation so bad :(

 

I also think I don't reinstate. Just thinking about having those tablets in my body makes me want to puke...

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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I have the same opinion about that. If you will feel bad you can write me anytime. I think the problem about reinstatement is that the whole 4 months which you now endured are lost and then you can start the whole process again. And once we have to go through, without that we will never get healthy.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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Yeah. I guess I am a bit scared about how bad can it get but at least I'm home now... I have to drop this fear about future and take it day by day.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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I am also scared, but I can not imagine taking these drugs one more time.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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So I was at psychiatrist today and guess what I got. Paroxetine 20 mg lol, diazepam and zolpidem.

Well, as I was picking that up at least I bought Omega-3...

So what now? I guess I'll continue living in this dissociated world of mine. Who knows what paroxetine could do?

 

Although is diazepam allowed if I can't sleep? Is it better for recovery not to take any of those?

And with how much of Omega-3 should I start?

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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I would not take any of that. Diazepam belongs to benzos, it is even worse than what you withdrew from.

05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free-

symptoms OCD

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I know. I won't take it. Although my opinion is that benzo and ssri wd's are equally bad..

 

It's just funny how they don't know anything and think that ssri's at completely harmless! They see it as an aspirin or something like that. What's the point of psychiatry then? And what's the point of going to school for so long if you can't help people. Smh -.-

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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it's easier said than done, but what about trying to hold on a little bit more? giving yourself some more months to see if it gets a bit better? 

But I guess it's so difficult because it's like being between a rock and a hard place... 

About me ------------------------ College student with a history of anxiety, excessive worrying and health anxiety.

April 2014 - May 2015----------    Prozac 20mg On and Off.  Second time on it I developed apathy, changes in personality, asexuality.

May 2015  -   July 2015-----------------  Tappering off prozac. Still no feelings,anhedonia, apathy, no libido, asexuality.

Current symptoms--------  pssd (asexuality in my case). Anxiety and depression developed some months afer stopping prozac, could have been caused by obsessing and beating myself up too much when I found myself unable to like girls again. The best thing to do with pssd (which in my case is asexuality) is accept it and move on.

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Theon, I alredy said I won't take it...Who knows what paroxetine could do

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Current symptoms:

-Dp/Dr worse...

-ear ringing changes, still pretty loud but doesn't bother me

-nausea (currently bearable)

-broken sleep (i still manage about 3-4 hours a sleep during night)

-a lot of vivid dreams

-constant racing thought, when I try to sleep they seem so loud and violent

-obsessions

-fear of future..how worse can it get when it's already unbearable

-anger towards pills and why i ever took then

-anhedonia

-brain noise (sometimes loud bang sometimes like someone's rubbing paper bag-doesn't bother me although it occurs whole i'm trying to fall a sleep)

-headaches (throbbing, burning, flat..depends on I don't know what)

-eye pain

-feeling of clogged ears

-heartburn (never had this before ad's just like ear ringing)

-ocassional restless legs

-feeling like i live in another world

-jelaousy

-waking up shaking in fear

-can't distract myself because whatever I do I keep thinking how weird everything is

-scared that dp/dr isn't wd induced and won't ever go away

 

Things I am grateful for:

-I still manage to sleep somehow

-I can eat and in fact I managed to return kg's I lost during my time on 'therapy'

-understanding friends and family

 

Okay, now let's move on with this existence, no matter how bad it gets!

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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