Idlewillkill Posted September 29, 2015 Posted September 29, 2015 I was on lexapro from age 21-27. Tapered without guidance, relapsed, dealt with the most intrusive thought and guilt and OCD I have ever experienced. Thoughts and urges to hurt my own son. It was ******* insane. I couldn't hold a knife in my hand or look at the knife set without having insane thoughts. Literally. I was scared for my life. Doc put me on Zoloft and clonazapam. She cranked my Zoloft dosage up to 200mg over 4 month period. I had bouts of anger I would have to go in the bathroom at work and literally punch the air and freak out in silence I didn't.know what was wrong with me. I would speak things that didn't make sense. I was so scared. It was hell and torture I wouldn't wish on my biggest enemy. I am free from clonazapam. But I take lorazepam daily .5mg or less. Zoloft at 200 mg messed with my blood pressure my blood sugar my weight (lost 20lbs) and anxiety ridden mind daily. Blurred vision etc etc. I am now on 100mg and it's been about a month (200-150-100) albeit this was a quick taper I plan on spending a good while at 100. If I go back up to 150 I start getting the physical side effects that I did so it's a lose lose. So as long as I am not perm. Damaging anything (which I'm unsure of) I want to fight to not go back up again.
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