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Dealing With Emotional Spirals


brassmonkey

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Not sure if this thread is still active but I am in a major emotional spiral right now about akathisia. I don't think I have it yet (this week I've felt rather restless in the morning and not been able to sleep through the night. Nothing during the day though) 

 

I learned about it early on in my withdrawal and it's just stuck in my mind - I am terrified of it. I feel I am doomed to go through it bc of the crazy taper that my doctor made me do and the length of time I took sertraline. 

 

Any tips on how to diffuse this with some logic? 

 

13 years of Sertraline - 100mg. Started at age 16. I was also on Risperdal for a year around this time (don't remember the dose but I went off it and don't remember having any WD) Have had attempts at decreasing in the past but inevitably go back up to 100mg but never experienced WD symptoms.

 

Dumb AF taper went as follows over the course of 1 year in 2020 : april/may alternating 100/50mg, june 75mg, july/august 75/50mg, sep/october 50 mg, november/dec 50/25mg, january/feb 2021: 25mg (dizzyness starts here) 

April 11 2021: last dose (drop to 0) (symptoms of dizzyness and heart palpitations)

June/July: started experiencing some windows and waves. window from dizzyness starts.

August: window from dizzyness, overall good but some numbness in arm and leg and so inevitably health anxiety. 

September: breakdown over fear of the future. had to move home. dizzyness comes back for a few days and then goes away. sleep issues

October: sleep issues, severe anxiety over future, twitching and jerking. insomnia but had a few good days of sleep. some amazing moments like windsurfing and an almost euphoric bikeride.

 

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2 hours ago, Seb1992 said:

Not sure if this thread is still active but I am in a major emotional spiral right now about akathisia. I don't think I have it yet (this week I've felt rather restless in the morning and not been able to sleep through the night. Nothing during the day though) 

 

I learned about it early on in my withdrawal and it's just stuck in my mind - I am terrified of it. I feel I am doomed to go through it bc of the crazy taper that my doctor made me do and the length of time I took sertraline. 

 

Any tips on how to diffuse this with some logic? 

 

Hi Seb, 

I am sorry you are going through an emotional spiral. Those are really difficult! 

However, it is highly unlikely that you are going to get akathisia at this point. 

 

What you are experiencing seems like a morning cortisol spike - these are very common. I have terrors in the morning. Taking magnesium when these happen should help. Having light blocking curtains and and eye mask may also be helpful. 

 

Early-morning waking - managing the morning cortisol spike - Symptoms and self-care - Surviving Antidepressants

 

This symptom has been my companion throughout my taper but may not be for you. But it is definitely not akathisia. 

 

Have you tried using some of the non-drug techniques to manage emotional symptoms? They may help with anxiety. 

 

Hope this gets better soon, 

OMW

"Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig 

 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. 

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering)

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

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Hi @Onmyway

 

Thank you for your message. Could you clarify what you mean by highly unlikely that I would experience it? I thought it was a symptom that many people get down the line after stabilising? Maybe I'm totally wrong. Very welcome news if the odds look better. 

I watched a video with Stuart Shipko and he made it seem like most people experience this a while after their last dose, particularly after 6-9 months. I'm 4 months out since dropping to 0. 

 

Very likely that it is a morning cortisol spike. I toss and turn for a few hours and then have a sense of restlessness that is super uncomfortable but am still able to lie in bed for example. Normally if i turn my focus to my phone it calms down (ironic since the blue light is probably not helping the insomnia.) 

 

For sure there's a health anxiety component to all this as well. 

13 years of Sertraline - 100mg. Started at age 16. I was also on Risperdal for a year around this time (don't remember the dose but I went off it and don't remember having any WD) Have had attempts at decreasing in the past but inevitably go back up to 100mg but never experienced WD symptoms.

 

Dumb AF taper went as follows over the course of 1 year in 2020 : april/may alternating 100/50mg, june 75mg, july/august 75/50mg, sep/october 50 mg, november/dec 50/25mg, january/feb 2021: 25mg (dizzyness starts here) 

April 11 2021: last dose (drop to 0) (symptoms of dizzyness and heart palpitations)

June/July: started experiencing some windows and waves. window from dizzyness starts.

August: window from dizzyness, overall good but some numbness in arm and leg and so inevitably health anxiety. 

September: breakdown over fear of the future. had to move home. dizzyness comes back for a few days and then goes away. sleep issues

October: sleep issues, severe anxiety over future, twitching and jerking. insomnia but had a few good days of sleep. some amazing moments like windsurfing and an almost euphoric bikeride.

 

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4 minutes ago, Seb1992 said:

Hi @Onmyway

 

Thank you for your message. Could you clarify what you mean by highly unlikely that I would experience it? I thought it was a symptom that many people get down the line after stabilising? Maybe I'm totally wrong. Very welcome news if the odds look better. 

I watched a video with Stuart Shipko and he made it seem like most people experience this a while after their last dose, particularly after 6-9 months. I'm 4 months out since dropping to 0. 

 

Very likely that it is a morning cortisol spike. I toss and turn for a few hours and then have a sense of restlessness that is super uncomfortable but am still able to lie in bed for example. Normally if i turn my focus to my phone it calms down (ironic since the blue light is probably not helping the insomnia.) 

 

For sure there's a health anxiety component to all this as well. 

 

Hi Seb, 

from my reading here, akathisia is not actually all that common. It does happen and it can be severe in some cases but I don't think it happens that often. I had a mild version of it for a month going from 5 to 0 in the very beginning - mine was just restlessness though, not movement. Reinstatement of 2.5mg and slowly tapering sorted it out fairly quickly. 

 

Yours seems very clearly to be a cortisol spike and health anxiety/ruminations. 

The thing is thinking about it ahead of time will not actually fix akathisia or prevent it. If by a very tiny chance you do get it, then you will deal with it then. 

 

Your questions lead me to believe that you are looking for reassurance (a common OCD symptom). This doesn't mean that you have OCD, withdrawal just makes people get OCD-like symptoms of obsessions where you are looking for relief by trying to get others to reassure you that it won't happen. However, it doesn't usually work. The best, maybe not easiest, way for me to deal with this is to accept that if it does happen I can deal with it then and worrying now is not going to prepare me for it when it happens. 

 

 

 

 

"Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig 

 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. 

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering)

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

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Thank you @Onmyway - your message made me feel better. I think I've been frightened by what i've read about it - I saw a video of someone going through it and they were just in such horrible pain. My personal story (having taken Sertraline for years, starting early and dropping to 0 at 25mg) just made me believe that it was a certainty. 

 

Knowing that its a possibility is both a blessing and a curse i think. It can prepare me a little but it's also made me so fearful. 


The reassurance thing is awful. Living in uncertainty is the only way I know but so incredibly painful and scary. 

 

 

13 years of Sertraline - 100mg. Started at age 16. I was also on Risperdal for a year around this time (don't remember the dose but I went off it and don't remember having any WD) Have had attempts at decreasing in the past but inevitably go back up to 100mg but never experienced WD symptoms.

 

Dumb AF taper went as follows over the course of 1 year in 2020 : april/may alternating 100/50mg, june 75mg, july/august 75/50mg, sep/october 50 mg, november/dec 50/25mg, january/feb 2021: 25mg (dizzyness starts here) 

April 11 2021: last dose (drop to 0) (symptoms of dizzyness and heart palpitations)

June/July: started experiencing some windows and waves. window from dizzyness starts.

August: window from dizzyness, overall good but some numbness in arm and leg and so inevitably health anxiety. 

September: breakdown over fear of the future. had to move home. dizzyness comes back for a few days and then goes away. sleep issues

October: sleep issues, severe anxiety over future, twitching and jerking. insomnia but had a few good days of sleep. some amazing moments like windsurfing and an almost euphoric bikeride.

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

To anyone who has done trauma therapy, it is clear that these emotional spirals are often old pain on the rise. You may use whatever technique you can to ease these spirals, but I find that dealing with the trauma is the best way. You can't keep avoiding old trauma if it comes up to be addressed. The key is getting help from a good therapist who can lead you through this painful process and integrate those old feelings.

In my experience, it is a much more effective way to deal with these symptoms than the cognitive methods outlined here. Otherwise, they can last for years if you don't recognize them for what they are. They are not just a brain out of whack. They are a brain out of whack that's trying to deal with emotions that have been repressed for years. That's why many of us went on these drugs to begin with -- to deaden that old pain. 

Bruce 

1980s: First diagnosed with depression. Treated with a tricyclic. 1988: Switched to Prozac 20 mg.  1990s to 2010: On and off Prozac. Increased dose led to side effects. 2011: Put on Zyprexa. 2011: Work burnout and breakdown. Hospitalized for suicidal depression. Switched to Seroquel. Switched to Celexa 40 mg and lithium 300 mg. 2019: Stopped Seroquel. 

2020 July: Decreased Celexa to 30 mg in attempt to alleviate sexual dysfunction. Worked somewhat.

2020 August: Decreased Celexa to 20 mg. Sexual function improved but w/d effects started. 

2020 September: Maintaining Celexa at 20 mg. Experiencing w/d effects - fatigue, dysphoria, mood instability

2020 September 13: Increased Celexa to 30 mg due to w/d effects. Still on lithium 300 mg/day.

2020 October 3: Reduced Celexa to 27 mg. Started taper. 10% per month as recommended.

2020 October 18: Reduced to 24 mg.

2020 December 4: Reduced to 21 mg.

2020 December 23: Reduced to 20 mg (spacing out taper intervals due to persistent w/d effects)

2021 September 23: Several reductions over the past 9 months to 7.0 mg. Stressful life circumstances led me to feeling very depressed with suicidal feelings, so upped to the dose to 10 mg until I feel better. 

 

 

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@BruciI hear what you are saying.  I believe that it is a combination of both - a brain that is out of whack, plus old emotions that need to be addressed.  At least, that is how it is for me.  

 

When people are in the throes of withdrawal, often all they can do is try to survive, and get through the WD.  They are usually in too much pain to address the further pain of old emotions from the past.  That is why we suggest the cognitive methods to stay out of an emotional spiral.  Not only that, doing intense techniques like EMDR can be too activating and upsetting for an already upset nervous system, and hence worsen the WD symptoms, so we at SA suggest that people don't do trauma therapy while in WD.  

 

However, as withdrawal starts to ease, then it becomes feasible to start to address some of the old emotions using gentle techniques.  At least that is how it is for me.  

 

On 9/6/2021 at 4:27 AM, Bruci said:

They are a brain out of whack that's trying to deal with emotions that have been repressed for years. That's why many of us went on these drugs to begin with -- to deaden that old pain. 

I fully agree with this.  I think it is a matter of first things first - I needed to get through the worse of the withdrawal, before I had the bandwidth to address the pain from the past.  

Please do not private message me.  Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you.  

 

***Please note this is not medical advice.  Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one.

 

Lexapro   Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg;  started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20  0.18 mg; Jul 16  0.17 mg, Aug 23  0.16 mg, Oct 7  0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005,  Jul 8, 0.00.  Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!!  Woohoo!!!

other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg

magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed

suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc

suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg

 

Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 

Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 

Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly 

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  • 2 months later...
  • Moderator
On 9/6/2021 at 10:27 AM, Bruci said:

To anyone who has done trauma therapy, it is clear that these emotional spirals are often old pain on the rise. You may use whatever technique you can to ease these spirals, but I find that dealing with the trauma is the best way. You can't keep avoiding old trauma if it comes up to be addressed. The key is getting help from a good therapist who can lead you through this painful process and integrate those old feelings.

In my experience, it is a much more effective way to deal with these symptoms than the cognitive methods outlined here. Otherwise, they can last for years if you don't recognize them for what they are. They are not just a brain out of whack. They are a brain out of whack that's trying to deal with emotions that have been repressed for years. That's why many of us went on these drugs to begin with -- to deaden that old pain. 

Bruce 

Hi @Bruci

I was just checking this thread and saw your post here. I absolutely agree with you and therapy has been helping me get through these spirals. I have been doing EMDR and IFS. For me the trauma is activated in emotional spirals and there is no amount of cognitive restructuring or distraction that can take me away from it. Trauma informed therapists will do whatever technique they use in a safe way - EMDR or IFS in my case - and can often get one out of a spiral.

 

I wouldn't advise digging for trauma unless it's activated but in a spiral it is activated and there is no way around it. Might as well do the work. I know @haydukehas done a lot of EMDR as well during withdrawal. Are you considering any of these?

 

OMW

 

 

 

 

"Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig 

 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. 

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering)

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

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  • 9 months later...

I’m struggling with rage attacks. I call them this because i get moments of frustration so intense that i end up smashing things. my spouse knows I’m struggling but I’m getting scared that he’s losing tolerance. my irritability and anger are intense, sporadic, destructive… I’m starting to hate myself. 
 

to elaborate, I feel enraged when I am trying to do cognitive tasks and struggling, electronics seem to be the trigger for a lot of these situations (fixing typos), answering emails. I also seem to get triggered when I’m feeling fatigued, hungry,  hot, annoyed by conversation. This is not my typical self pre-medication or while on medication. I’m usually a very chill and tolerant person. I’m having meltdowns and freaking out like a toddler. Dealing with this irritability is making life unbearable.

 

 I’m becoming easily annoyed at simple things. The other day i threw the toaster because my bread got stuck. Then i cried and had a meltdown…. 
 

yes I already go to therapy. 

 

These situations are very much 0 to 100 reactions. I feel out of control followed by shame.

**all dosages are of Escitalopram**

April 2009:  20mg • Dec 2012- Feb 2014: quit no WD! • Feb 2014-2019: 20mg • April 2019: taper failed at 5mg severe physical withdrawal symptoms • Apr 2019-July 2020: 10mg  • July 2020-Jan 2022: 20mg ->  Feb 2022: 17.5 mg  Mar 2022: 15 mg Apr 2022: 12.5 mg  May 2022: 10 mg  June 2022: 10 mg  July 2022: 7.5 mg

 Aug 2022: 5mg first 4 weeks then down to  2.5mg- severe dizziness after 3-4days so I stopped taking the drug completely on September 1, 2022 • night terrors started sept 5, 2022 • cannabis QUIT Nov 17, 2022 
**reinstatement **

sept 9- 1mg escitalopram

oct 7 - 0.9mg

nov 13 - 0.8mg - severe panic attack-hospitalized
**reinstatement **

nov 17 -1mg escitalopram 2mg abilify, 2mg Diazepam

Dec 5- 2.5mg escitalopram

dec 14- 5mg escitalopram - 0 mg Abilify 

dec 16- 0mg diazepam

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Spontaneous violent outbreaks of anger where one of the main reasons I started on Paxil so many years ago, so I know where you are coming from. Over the years I have learned that, even though ADWD and AD side effects can be involved, anger/rage is an elective emotion. Out breaks tend to follow a set pattern, have triggers and once understood, can be controlled and eventually eliminated.

 

Frustration over not being able to perform everyday tasks, things not doing what you want them to, and the like is a common trigger. Our reaction to that trigger is where the secret lies. Many aspects of life are out of our control when we are going through ADWD. Our minds can be clear enough to know what we want to accomplish and how to do it, but our bodies just don't want to cooperate, or the world has other ideas.

 

Learning the feelings that lead up to an outbreak is key to controlling it. During the minutes before things explode there is a buildup of emotion, a tensing of the body, vision changes, audio changes, and the like that are all signaling that something is about to go very wrong. Watching out for and observing those changes takes a little practice and having to go through several episodes, but it is very important to learn them.

 

Once you can recognize a pattern forming, as soon as you notice it starting, stop everything. Freeze, don't move. Wait a few seconds, set things down, turn and walk away. Do anything else to distract yourself from the situation. The trick is to not let the frustration get control and build. This will take practice, but it is the first and major step in regaining control.

 

Once you have walked away allow a few minutes to calm down and then think through what just happened but try to remain detached and analytical. Think it through and then try to come up with some reasons as to why you reacted in that manner and how to better handle it in the future. This also will take practice and some possibly painful analysis. As I mentioned earlier, anger/rage is an elective emotion which we decide to allow to happen.

20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013.

Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks.  The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better.

Final Dose 0.016mg.     Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017

 

"It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general."  Stephen Hawking

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  • 2 months later...
On 9/19/2022 at 3:48 AM, Withdrawingcipralex said:

I’m struggling with rage attacks. I call them this because i get moments of frustration so intense that i end up smashing things. my spouse knows I’m struggling but I’m getting scared that he’s losing tolerance. my irritability and anger are intense, sporadic, destructive… I’m starting to hate myself. 
 

to elaborate, I feel enraged when I am trying to do cognitive tasks and struggling, electronics seem to be the trigger for a lot of these situations (fixing typos), answering emails. I also seem to get triggered when I’m feeling fatigued, hungry,  hot, annoyed by conversation. This is not my typical self pre-medication or while on medication. I’m usually a very chill and tolerant person. I’m having meltdowns and freaking out like a toddler. Dealing with this irritability is making life unbearable.

 

 I’m becoming easily annoyed at simple things. The other day i threw the toaster because my bread got stuck. Then i cried and had a meltdown…. 
 

yes I already go to therapy. 

 

These situations are very much 0 to 100 reactions. I feel out of control followed by shame.

 

I so identify with this.

 

If something doesn't work how I think it should the very first time, I immediately start to feel anger building, my heart rate shoots up within seconds. It's completely disproportionate.

 

The worst trigger for me is if someone changes an arranged appointment, or something I was planning to do is canceled. It's like my brain can't cope when unexpected things happen.

 

A few weeks ago I was due to see the dentist, and they called the day before to ask if I could change the date. I said no, and they said that was fine. Despite not having to change my plans, my system still went into anger overdrive. I was screaming at nothing, into an empty room at home.

 

The anger fades, but the residual symptoms (cortisol and adrenaline I guess) take many hours to settle.

 

I've recently started seeing my therapist again, who was a great help a few years ago while I was still on meds. I'm not sure if it's helping so much this time though. I'll have to give it time I guess.

Oct 2018 - Jun 2020: 10 mg per day generic Escitalopram in pill form.

Jul 2020 - Aug 2020: Switched to 9 mg per day of Cipralex drops to aid tapering.

Sep 2020 - Oct 2020: Taper to 8 mg.

Nov 2020 - Dec 2020: Taper to 7 mg.

Jan 2021 - Feb 2021: Taper to 6 mg.

Mar 2021 - Apr 2021: Taper to 5 mg.

May 2021 - Jun 2021: Taper to 4 mg.

Jul 2021 - Sep 2021: Taper to 3 mg.

Sep 2021 - Jan 2022: Taper to 2 mg.

Jan 2022: Stopped taking altogether.

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  • 1 month later...

Wow, great thread Brassmonkey.  Thanks so much for taking the time to share all of this.  I def find myself easily spiraled into anger outbursts during this taper and I know that I could probably use some therapy to learn better coping skills.  I think I’ll start checking around.. thanks again

1994-2006 Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Effexor, lexapro, klonopin.   
2002 ct klonopin,  hospitalized two weeks later, put back on klonopin, Seroquel & lexapro added

2002 weaned klonopin 2006 Ct lexapro, in the hospital again, put on  imipramine 250mg, 

2009-2010 weaned off seroquel, 

2016-17tapered imipramine to 150, 2017-19 100 mg, 2020 jumped to 50 mg a week later went back up to 60. 11/22 56 mg

12-22 50mg 4/5/23 - 47mg 4/16 - 40 mg 6/27/23-35mg, 4/15/24 33mg, 5/15/24 32mg, 5/27/24 30mg

Ropinirole 1/2020  3/21 ropinirol 2 mg 

Ozempic 4/2023 .25, 6/26/23 .37mg 12/1/23 .39mg, 4/24 40mg, 5/16/24 .25mg

clonidine .1mg 1/2024

Supplements: boron, diatomaceous earth, cream of tartar  and Celtic sea salt, transdermal magnesium oil

 

 

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This is very apt. I’ve been having emotional spirals about everything lately. I am hoping it’s a sign of some sort of healing because at first I couldn’t feel anything. Then after reintroducing meds unfortunately I had adverse reactions. Now, I’m kind of wondering if what in experiencing more lately is some sort of shoddy withdrawl attempt at processing the trauma of all of this. 
 

Right now I am fixated in an ongoing spiral that waxes and wanes about if my family cares about me or not. If they did, surely they would try to let things go and not add stress about silly things- therefore, they must not care, and if they don’t care, then I’m never going to heal, and if I never heal, they’re never going to love me again. It’s completely illogical. I know they want what’s best for me, but the slightest of insults or insinuations sends me on an internal rage that I might not recover from from days. And then this makes spiral and worth if it will spark an episode of akathisa or depersonalization or other symptoms, which scares me further, and it’s just awful. 
 

changing the Chanel has been hard to do sometimes because it’s difficult to get into anything else. Like, sometimes there is just no distracting or getting into a tv show or conversation because the cognition or focus or joy isn’t there at all. Still, I could distract with routines or temperatures (ice, cold shower, walk).
 

Thankfully, I notice improvements lately- yet this ALSO begets spirals. Because oh no, what if this is all I get of normal and then it’s gone forever? 
 

Inrealize so much pain from this experience is due to emotional spirals. That it will last forever is a spiral itself or that it’s all my fault etc. 

 

just being able to label “this is a healing nervous system confusing things” as opposed to “my family hates me” or “I’m never going to be better” is empowering. 
 

Any tips for “changing the channel” when you have limited means of going so due to severe anhedonia/depersonalization at times would be helpful. In those instances a lot of the panic comes from wanting to change the Chanel, but nothing is latching on. 

Aug 2020 - Feb 2022 on and off Lexapro 5 and 10mg,  Rapid taper

Nov 2021 - May 2022 on off Wellbutrin 100mg, 150mg, 75mg CT clindamycin cycle and also Plan B bc 1x 

Fall 2020- June 2022 - Xanax .5 PRN usually 4x a week, CT 

June 2022 - Z pack, Buspar 7.5 3 days

September 20-24th - low tryptophan diet and 20-30g beef gelatin powder

Oct 3- 16 - Xanax .5 for sleep each pm, 1 mg Ativan in ER, .25 Xanax —> .125–>0 

Oct 14-17Trazadone 50/75, Lunesta 3mg 

Oct 24-  start Belsomra, 4 days to20mg 

Nov 3-5 10mg Belsomra and 300mg Gabapentin 

Oct 13-Dec 1 Buspar 7.5 2x/day rapid taper over 2 weeks due to ADR 

Recent: Belsomra 20mg since 10/23/2022 to 15mg mid December for 2 nights —> 20mg —> 15 mg since 12/22/2022 —>14 mg compounded 02/11/2023 —> 15 mg 2/13 —> 10mg 2/22 —> 5mg 3/1 —> 0mg 3/8/2023 

Current:  Propanolol 20mg AM, 10mg 4pm, 20mg PM since 11/30/2022

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi @ElaineBenes5 I can totally relate to everything you’ve said. I too am really struggling with my ability to change the channel due to severe anxiety, anhedonia, and depression. I have two permanent looping spirals, one that my marriage is doomed because my husband and I are incompatible based on my perceptions of conversations we’ve had. These distorted perceptions of mine reinforce themselves so the whole thing is in an unstoppable feedback loop. The second spiral is that I am now beyond help psychologically and that I will not survive WD. 
 

You are not alone. I wish I had an answer but I just wanted to relate my experience of this horrible ‘stuck in a loop’ thing. 
 

Hugs x

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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On 9/6/2021 at 11:27 AM, Bruci said:

In my experience, it is a much more effective way to deal with these symptoms than the cognitive methods outlined here. Otherwise, they can last for years if you don't recognize them for what they are. They are not just a brain out of whack. They are a brain out of whack that's trying to deal with emotions that have been repressed for years. That's why many of us went on these drugs to begin with -- to deaden that old pain.

Makes a lot of sense. Thank you 😊 

Current Meds: Levothyrox 50mcg; Suppliments: Vit D,Vit B6, Magnesium

2014 21 Oct 2015 Nov  Lexapro  -   5mg including the taperring off but not slow enough

2015 Zoloft 25mg  Nov  9 days ; 25 May 14 days of 25 mg
2016 27 Oct - 29 Oct 18 Lexapro   5-6.5 mg  slow taper down to 1mg or less  

2018  Nov- 2020 Jul - Free of All psychotropes 

2020 Jul - 2022 Jan Ixprim 37.5mg 1 to 3 times/ daily; Jul 20 - jul 21 Tramadol 50mg x 3 tappered off slowly

2021  Clinical Trial of Therapeutic Cannabis Apr - May

2020  Gabapentin 10 Aug 500 mg; Sep 600mg; Oct 700mg: Dec 800- 900mg.

2021  Gabapentin Jan 900mg; 28 Jun 800mg; 14 Aug 700mg; 28 Aug 600mg; 9 Sep 500mg; 23 Sep 400mg; 9 Oct 300mg; 29 Oct 270mg; 4 Nov 250mg; 14 Nov 200mg; 22 Nov 170mg; 8 Dec 200mg;

2022 Gabapentin 3 Jan 300mg; 24 Feb 200mg; 23 Mar 180; 4 Apr 168mg; 12 Apr 150mg; 23 Avr 135mg; 1 May 100mg;

9May 90mg; 6 Jun - 4 Sep 80mg down to 50mg; 5 Sep 100mg; 22 Oct 80mg taper down to 20mg 28 Dec

2021 - 2023 Amitriptyline 1 Jul 1mg titrated to 6 mg  on 27 Sep; 20 Oct 7mg; From 28 April tappered slowly to 9 Jun 6mg; 28 Jul 5.5mg; 31 Aug 5mg; 6 Sep 4mg; 21 Sep 3mg; 3 Oct 2mg; 18 Oct 1.5mg; 1 Nov 1mg; 15 Nov 0.75mg; 29 Nov 05mg, 11 Dec - stopped it; 19 Dec 0.3mg reinstated; 3 Jan 0.25mg; 8 Jan "jumped off"

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On 2/3/2023 at 7:39 AM, Kat66 said:

Hi @ElaineBenes5 I can totally relate to everything you’ve said. I too am really struggling with my ability to change the channel due to severe anxiety, anhedonia, and depression. I have two permanent looping spirals, one that my marriage is doomed because my husband and I are incompatible based on my perceptions of conversations we’ve had. These distorted perceptions of mine reinforce themselves so the whole thing is in an unstoppable feedback loop. The second spiral is that I am now beyond help psychologically and that I will not survive WD. 
 

You are not alone. I wish I had an answer but I just wanted to relate my experience of this horrible ‘stuck in a loop’ thing. 
 

Hugs x

@Kat66

I recently read the book "Needing to know for sure" and I think you might benefit from reading it too. 

 

Parts of it are superfluous but the identification of the steps of the reassurance seeking spiral is right on the money! 

 

The authors also have articles online if you want to check them out first.

OMW

"Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig 

 

I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. 

 

In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. 

 

Aug  2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg,  xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn 

Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used)

Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up)

September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0

Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd

March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week

Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering)

citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg,  7/27/19 -1.5 mg,  8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg

 

Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate

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Thank you so much @Onmyway I’ll be sure to check that out. 

History of depression and anxiety. Symptoms of PTSD. 1998-1999 Venlafaxine 2006-2007 Prozac.2013-15 Sertraline 50mg. 2015 cross-tapered to citalopram 20mg. 2015-2021 Citalopram 20mg (brief increase to 30mg for 2/3 months in 2019. 01/2021 Dropped from 20mg to 10mg, back up to 20mg til June. 25/6/21 stopped CT. Started 50mg 5htp after a week without citalopram in the hope this would balance out my serotonin levels. After 3 days increased to 100mg 5htp. 11/7/21 Stopped 5htp with the intention of reinstating citalopram at 1mg. 16/7/21 Reinstated cit at 1mg. 2/8/21 Increased dose to 2mg. 28/11/21 10% reduction to 1.8mg.

8/12/21 2mg 6/1/22 1.8mg 10/2/22 1.6mg 13/5/22 1.5mg 4/6/22 1.55mg 4/7/22 1.4mg 4/8/22 1.25mg 1/11/22 1.1mg 3/3/23 1mg 18/4/23 0.9mg 2/6/23 0.8mg 4/10/23 0.7mg 11/11/23 jumped off @0.7mg started on 5htp 200mg -400mg, L-Theanine, and L-tyrosine 200mg. 25/11/23 came off 5-htp, l-tyrosine and l-Theanine. 24/12/23 went on 7.5mg mirtazapine. 27/12/23 stopped mirtazapine & reinstated citalopram @.35mg. 1/1/24 increased to 0.5mg. PTSD diagnosis October 2023. 11/11/23 started EMDR therapy for PTSD. Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper off citalopram. Vegan, otherwise healthy lifestyle. Other medications; tapering off combined HRT. Other supplements; magnesium glycinate, vegan omega3. Completely OFF caffeine (since July 21). Finding it difficult to completely give up alcohol but haven’t had any since 25/12/23. Main symptoms; crushing depression, anhedonia/emotional anesthesia, irritability, rage, anxiety/fear, intrusive thoughts, cognitive fog, inability to focus, restlessness and some insomnia

 

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  • 2 months later...

Hello. I've read it in several places in this thread. I am currently on 1.2 mg of escitalopram. Right now I feel almost nothing else but anger and rage 🙈🙈 I can't really change the channel. Has anyone managed to find a solution or some relief. it only frustrates and annoys me when I'm at work 🙈

 2023.01.27 1,6 mg 2023.01.29 1,5 mg 2023.02.27 1,35 mg 2023.03.30 1,2 mg 2023.04.18 1,1 mg 04,26 1,05 mg 2023.01.26 1,05 mg 2023.02.27 .27 .20. .21 0,8 mg 2023.07.14 0,65 mg 2023.08.20 0,45 mg 2023.09.20 0,25 mg 2023.11.14 000000000!!!!!

 

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  • Mentor
On 2/3/2023 at 1:39 AM, Kat66 said:

Hi @ElaineBenes5 I can totally relate to everything you’ve said. I too am really struggling with my ability to change the channel due to severe anxiety, anhedonia, and depression. I have two permanent looping spirals, one that my marriage is doomed because my husband and I are incompatible based on my perceptions of conversations we’ve had. These distorted perceptions of mine reinforce themselves so the whole thing is in an unstoppable feedback loop. The second spiral is that I am now beyond help psychologically and that I will not survive WD. 
 

You are not alone. I wish I had an answer but I just wanted to relate my experience of this horrible ‘stuck in a loop’ thing. 
 

Hugs x


kat66 and Elaine. I am experiencing ruminating thoughts anxiety and this spiral. Some days I can’t shake it. 
I will never get well, and stabilize. I’m beyond healing, I won’t be able to work and pay bills, other physical pains will require surgery, can’t take needed medications , I will be in pain forever, what will Psyc dr say, updose, I won’t make it. The looping thoughts and anxiety are relentless.  Usually the early day cortisol anxiety gets it going. It’s like a overthinking thing. Today was a bad day. 

2000-2013 Paxil - 1 year fast taper

2013-2018 merry go round
zoloft, cymbalta, lamictal, Prozac.

 Nov. 2018 lexapro 15 mgs, Dec. 2019 to Mar. 2020 taper to 10mg. Jul 2020 to October 2020 taper to 8.5 ml.
Oct 2020 reinstated to 9 ml.
Apr 2021 to Jul  taper to 7ml. Oct 2021 to Jan 2022 taper to 5.9ml, Mar 5 2022 5.8 ml, Mar 12 5.7ml, Mar 20 5.6ml, Mar 27 5.5ml, April 23 5.4ml, April 30 5.3ml, May 7 5.2ml,  Jul 9 2022 5.4ml, 

Klonopin prn, Allegra 180 for 3 seasons, aspirin 81 mg, plavix , nitroglycerin 0.4 mg prn, 2k mg  turmeric Qunol, 4- Trader Joe’s omega 3 -2400 mg, Pepcid 20mg,  Prilosec 40 mg, Tylenol arthritis 4 tablets daily, 350mg calm magnesium citrate, melatonin 2.5- 5mg as needed to sleep. Saline spray as needed. 

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  • 1 month later...
On 3/31/2017 at 2:57 PM, lookingforhelp said:

I am currently dealing with many of the mentioned emotions.  Several years ago when I was working with an excellent PCP (who went on to bigger things) she suggested that I check into Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction.  I could not pursue it at that time due to other commitments, but have recently completed a course in it.  It is meditation based and I know that turns lots of people off.  I still find it hard to make the time to meditate, but have been journaling and have found that it is a form of meditation for me, as it makes me slow down and think about what is going on.  With the anxiety I have a hard time slowing down enough to think about what is going on, but when I write about it and get it down on paper it tends to help get it out of my mind and allow me to go on.  Good luck to my fellow sufferers.  If only we had known.

HI, Can you pls share the course you did. I have been doing meditation for several years even before starting ADs. But the one I do is not helping me with withdrawal symptoms. 

started antidepressants in 2005, dont remember what I tried but I tried few drugs until I settled with Fluoxetine - 40 mg in 2012

 

2012 - Fluoxetine - 40 mg

2016 - Abilify - 2mg, Modafinil - 100mg(50 mg - twice or thrice a day)

2019 Jan 1-3 weeks - tapered of Abilify, Fluoxetine; relapsed depression by March 2019

2019  March 2nd/3rd week - started Abilify - 2mg; Fluoxetine - 40 mg

2022 Jan 1st 2023 June 1st - tapered Abilify - 1 mg/0.5mg/0.25mg/0.125mg/ tiny morsel every 2 weeks now.

2023 Jan 1st - in process of tapering Fluoxetine - 40mg - right now taking 40mg M-W-F

Right now I am suffering with oversleeping, too much fatigue and lack of interest in anything. Had doc appt 2 weeks back and he asked me to increase Modafinil dosage

2023 June 15th - up dose - Modafinil - 100 mg - 3 times a day.

2023 June 25th - jumped off - not taking Abilify tiny morsel any more

2023 June 25th - increased Fluoxetine to 40mg to see if my symptoms(oversleeping, too much fatigue and lack of interest in anything) improve.

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  • 2 months later...

I'm one of those with anger issues... I actually started Sertraline because of my reppressed anger and the fear that I had for such anger. I always saw my fear as inmoral, dangerous, ilegitimate, uncontrollable, illogical, incomprehensible, etc. All these things are related to my dysfuntional family and childhood emotional abuse, no doubt about it. I think reppressed anger becomes hate. So I took Sertraline for 3+ years, and during those years I still experienced anger and hate, but I was more disconnected from the feelings than before. I couldn't even name them, even before I took Sertraline, that's how much reppressed they were. So when I stopped Sertraline cold turkey and all the reppressed anger and hate came back, suddenly, roaring, it totally overwhelmed me, it was crazy. So, you can control all these things, but the best thing to do is to express them in a healthy and socially acceptable manner, what psychoanalysis calls sublimation basically. You also have to give yourself permission to feel the feelings, the anger, the hate, to process them, to liberate them, even if it's scary at first, you must not try to reppress it, it only will make them worse. Accepting and feeling all the stored hate and reppressed anger is what Carl Jung called embracing the Shadow. I have been so disconnected from my anger and hate all my life, but they played at the same time such a big role in my life. I'm also one of those guys who choosed to harm themselves rather than harm others for the most part. Hate... What an awful emotion and feeling.

Mid Feb 2017 - Mid March 2017 0.25mg Sertraline

March 2017 - last months of 2019 0.50mg Sertraline

Last months of 2019 - tappering, cold turkey and reinstating multiple times, decided to not take it any longer (suffering unknown withdrawal)

April 2020 - end August 2020 - 0.50mg again, stopped cold turkey

Jan/Feb 2021 (Can't remember exactly) - 0.25mg or 0.50mg Sertraline for 1-3 weeks max

0.00mg since August 2020

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  • 4 weeks later...

For anyone struggling with big surges of anger and/or rage, I found this exercise on YouTube and it actually helped a lot! It's a fairly short video and short exercise, but it helps you to "feel your emotions in your body." I did it when I had some strong emotions of anger come up after an EMDR sesh, and I ended up feeling more calm after, without just repressing or invalidating the anger.

 

 

2013-2015: paroxetine, with brief switch to sertraline, and brief combo with bupropion  • 2015: got off all antidepressant meds for approx 9-12 months, felt great 2015: fluoxetine, bad side effects, quit after two weeks 2015: escitalopram 15mg/day Summer 2019: attempted fast taper off escitalopram, reinstated to 15mg/day dose after six weeks • October 16, 2020: begin taper off escitalopram at rate of 1mg per 1 week (sometimes per 2 weeks) using 1mg/ml liquid from pharmacy • Jan 22, 2021: down to 3mg and holding due to worsening of WD symptoms • Feb 4, 2021: updose to 4mg holding • Feb 2021: tapering at 10% every 28 days Jul 2021: begin using microtaper of 2.5% per week Feb 2022: down to 1.43mg and experiencing worsening WD symptoms, updose to 1.45mg and holding • Mar 2022: resume microtaper schedule, lowest dose: 1.34 mg • Mar 2022: extended hold at 1.36 mg •Jul 2022: resume 10% taper • Apr 2-Jun 21, 2023 extended hold at 0.5mg • Jun 9, 2023 massive life stress situation triggered WD wave, Jun 15-16 took 5mg dose, Jun 17-21 back to 0.5mg dose • Jun 22 small updose to 0.58mg • Jul 1-2 tried 2.5mg, suffered adverse affects (anxiety, can’t eat, palpitations, electric jolts in chest) • Jul 1, 2023 - Jan 3, 2024 long hold at 1mg, slowly stabilizing after crash • Jan 4 resume taper  0.98mg - Jan 11 0.95mg - Jan 18 0.92mg - Jan 25 0.90mg -  May 13 0.81mg

 

Supplements: vitamin D3 with K2, vitamin C, iron, magnesium glycinate, EPA/DHA essentials fish oil, melatonin(as needed)

Other prescription meds: levothyroxine 75 mcg (for hypothyroidism), lorazepam 0.25 to 0.5mg (as needed, which is almost never), zofran 2 to 4mg (as needed) 

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  • 3 months later...

I think there is more meaning behind those intense emotions than just being a withdrawal symptoms. They can be very well the emotions that the psychiatric drugs chemically suppressed that are coming back once the drug is no longer there to suppress them.

Mid Feb 2017 - Mid March 2017 0.25mg Sertraline

March 2017 - last months of 2019 0.50mg Sertraline

Last months of 2019 - tappering, cold turkey and reinstating multiple times, decided to not take it any longer (suffering unknown withdrawal)

April 2020 - end August 2020 - 0.50mg again, stopped cold turkey

Jan/Feb 2021 (Can't remember exactly) - 0.25mg or 0.50mg Sertraline for 1-3 weeks max

0.00mg since August 2020

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