Dani1900: A month free of antidepressants after 12 years

[Dani1900]

Hello and thank you to this group!

I weaned off over the period of a couple of months and see now that I should have taken more time to do this (10% less each month)...but I am paying for that now. Think the worst is over but have good days and bad days.

Symptoms have been exhaustion, irritability, unable to control emotions, dizziness, brain zaps, ears ringing, confusion, memory problems and on and on...at least I can see that my symptoms are a result of withdrawal and not depression and that is a relief.

I was put on antidepressants due to a work place incident in 2005. What I've recently learned is that I wasn't depressed...I had PTSD. I am angry at my Dr for not seeing this and angry at my employer who claims to be big on mental wellness and PTSD but have just pushed me aside. I need to put the past where it belongs as it won't serve me here in the present.

I've been on Citalopram, Wellbutrin and Venlafexine.

I no longer trust that modern medicine has my best interests at heart as I believe Dr's should be working to get their patients OFF medicines and not keeping them on them. But my understanding is that Dr's are subsidised by pharmaceutical companies, so this doesn't happen.

I am very concerned that this medication may have cost me permanent memory loss/impairment.

I feel lost and trapped inside this person who isn't me and I got off this medication to find WHO that me is supposed to be. Now im learning that I may have to wait months or years for that. How awful.

Thank you

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Dani.

 

Which drugs did you taper and what were their dosages? What was your taper method?

 

You have classic withdrawal symptoms. Your body is telling you it would like a more gradual exit from the drugs.

 

Please read this About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

[ChessieCat]

Hi Dani and welcome to SA,

 

So that we are better able to offer suggestions please Create Your Signature.  Please include details for the last 12-18 months of  all drugs, dates, doses and discontinuations & reinstatements.  If you can't remember dates, please write it as "early March" or "mid-August".  Please provide a summary of any drugs prior to that which can just be listed with start and stop years. Please include all prescription, non-prescription drugs and supplements you are currently taking. Phone Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature. Please also remember to update it with date and dose whenever make a change so that it remains current. Thank you.

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen's Withdrawal Symptoms

 

There are links in this topic to various drugs and how to get low doses:  Important topics in the Tapering forum and FAQ

 

These helped me to understand SA's recommended taper of no more than 10% of the previous dose followed by about a 4 week hold to allow the brain to adapt to not getting as much of the drug:

 

Brain Remodelling

Video:  Healing From Antidepressants - Patterns of Recovery

 

If you do decide that you want to reinstate we can suggest a small dose which you could try.

 

This is your Intro/Update topic where you can ask questions and journal your progress.  Click "Follow" top right and you will be notified when someone responds.

[Dani1900]

Thank you for your responses. The detachment and aggression ha e been the worst. I cannot do this to my loved ones anymore.

So at the advice above, I pulled apart my 75mg capsule of Venlafexine and counted the beads. 210 beads...divided by 75mg and it seemed like each bead contains about .36mg of the drug. So last night I took 10 beads or approx 3.6mg.

Not immediate adverse reactions, so I will continue to do this daily until my symptoms level off. Disappointed as I feel I'm going backwards but relieved that hopefully things will get better.

[mammaP]

Hi Dani, it will take time for the drug to reach a steady level in your system. Give it some time and hopefully you will be much better soon. I also taperef venlafaxine too fast and reinstated, it helped within a few days but was up and down for a few months before I started to taper again. 

 

Hang in there, this will get better, but let us know if you feel any WORSE than you did before reinstating. Hope you feel better very soon. 

[Dani1900]

Thank you MamaP. I don't feel worse so that's good. Anger and irritability has decreased greatly so that's something

[Dani1900]

Last night...felt like I was bugging out...skin crawled and felt I could test it off with my finger nails. Couldn't stop moving...rocking on the couch or leg shaking. It was awful.

Need to know if this is an adverse reactions to reinstating or the drug trying to stabilize me...should I continue to reinstate or stop taking meds?

[powerback]

Thank you for your responses. The detachment and aggression ha e been the worst. I cannot do this to my loved ones anymore.

So at the advice above, I pulled apart my 75mg capsule of Venlafexine and counted the beads. 210 beads...divided by 75mg and it seemed like each bead contains about .36mg of the drug. So last night I took 10 beads or approx 3.6mg.

Not immediate adverse reactions, so I will continue to do this daily until my symptoms level off. Disappointed as I feel I'm going backwards but relieved that hopefully things will get better.

 

Hi dani 1900

please be patient with yourself and have the upmost compassion for yourself ,I agree about the detachment and aggression its a hard one to deal with .

I recommend learning how to control and channel these feelings safely ,they can be so powerful .

U will find everything u need on this site.

Take care

[Altostrata]

Last night...felt like I was bugging out...skin crawled and felt I could test it off with my finger nails. Couldn't stop moving...rocking on the couch or leg shaking. It was awful.

Need to know if this is an adverse reactions to reinstating or the drug trying to stabilize me...should I continue to reinstate or stop taking meds?

 

Dani, is this unusual? If it is, and occurred only since you reinstated 10 beads of venlafaxine, I would immediately reduce to 5 beads.

 

Please let us know of any changes after you do this.

[Dani1900]

It is unusual...never experienced that in my life before.

I will reduce to 5 beads tonight and let you know how that goes.

My family and I are leaving for Hawaii on Tuesday and instead of being excited I am terrified I'll ruin the trip for us all. How will I cope? What do I do when I can sleep?

Need to keep mindful