TheWayBack Posted March 20, 2018 Author Share Posted March 20, 2018 Thanks DMV64! Day 51 after zero. Unfortunately, I had a couple of bad WD days the past week. But the worst by far, is the akathisia. When I don't have any WD, the akathisia rages almost all day. Upped the propranolol to 20mg a couple days ago. Helps a bit thank god, but not nearly enough to have any comfort... What did help a lot to my sleep was L-Tryptophan 400mg together with some vitamin B6 in addition to the daily 2.5mg melatonin . Slept for the first time in months VERY good. And was even tired on waking! Which is nice. But minutes later, my demon akathisia was back... But we will keep coping! Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted March 26, 2018 Author Share Posted March 26, 2018 Week 8 after zero now. A couple new tests done with supplements. NAC 600mg twice a day. Seems to hold back the WD pretty good. Mood more stable it seems, less WD symptoms. Harsh when taken on empty stomach. Doesn't directly make akathisia worse, but fixes WD, and my akathisia always comes when there are no WD symptoms... Started with B6 (100mg in the morning, 50mg around noon, 50mg in afternoon) for akathisia. Helps quite a bit for the akathisia, together with the propranolol 20mg. Still very bad, but at least some relief (20%-25%) At this moment, stopped the tryptophan to be sure of no things interfering with each other. Overall feeling this week, the less WD I get, the more akathisia. So lots and lots akathisia, lasting the whole day most of the time. Some panic attacks (maybe the B6), but don't worry about them, they leave after an hour or so. Better have panic attacks that are short then grueling akathisia all day. Less WD symptoms, like nerve pain, mood swings, headache... Sleep does seem better the last week. Bu no real overall improvements so far in the wellbeing part. Akathisia is the worst by far and it lasts whole days now. Dysphoria galore... Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted March 26, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 26, 2018 1 hour ago, TheWayBack said: Started with B6 (100mg in the morning, 50mg around noon, 50mg in afternoon) for akathisia. I suggest you read this topic: hypersensitive-to-b-vitamin-or-b-vitamin-complex Especially this: On 8/15/2011 at 3:22 AM, Altostrata said: I've definitely felt too much stimulation from vitamin B6, which is supposed to be "nervous system support." and this: On 8/13/2011 at 7:06 AM, Punarbhava said: So many people react negatively to B vitamins during WD and in the ways you have described. I had to elminate those vitamins during WD and during post taper, despite the fact that I had taken them religiously for many years. They definitely increased my agitation, anxiety and even caused panic attacks for me. * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted March 26, 2018 Author Share Posted March 26, 2018 Hi ChessieCat, and thank you very much for replying. The reason I didn't take B6 before is exactly because I've read the topic you've mentioned. But thank you for the reminder. Very kind. I was very hesitant to try it first, especially large doses, afraid of it worsening the situation even more. But I'm glad I did, because this is the only truly mentionable relief I got so far. Propranolol 20mg gives somewhat relief, but it is negligible in comparison to what B6 (100mg) does to me in the morning. Of course 1mg Xanax will sooth much more, but will do also much much more harm because I don't know when this condition will get better. I need something for the medium/long term. So unfortunately, I need to choose between the lesser of two evils... B6 might give me panic attacks and increased anxiety, but it helps a lot for the akathisia that is truly wearing me down. If the akathisia goes down a bit in intensity I will taper both the propranolol and the B6. I indeed get amped a bit by the large doses of B6, but this amped up feeling is a LOT less than the akathisia, left untreated. It gives me a 25% reduction in akathisia intensity (which is enormous!), sometimes even more... My akathisia without any treatment, consist of insane anxiety/terror/doom and I can't sit still or stand still and talk to people. I have to move and that gives me the only bearable state of mind. When I take 100mg B6 I can sit still, but I'm still very agitated, anxious and restless, but with a noticeable improvement. Propranolol doesn't help nearly as much. In most cases akathisia will lessen/dissappear when going back to the dose of the medication where it didn't occur. I was there 3-4 months ago. No relief. Off the meds for 2 months now. No relief. Thank you for replying again, ChessieCat. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
DMV64 Posted March 26, 2018 Share Posted March 26, 2018 4 hours ago, TheWayBack said: panic attacks that are short then grueling akathisia all day. It sounds really hard. I am thinking of you. I am going through my own thing right now. We can get through this a day at a time! 2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg. 2011- increase to 1 mg. 2018- increase to 1.5 mg. Taper 2023-2024. Taper complete! 2010- Trials of SSRI's, several. 2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete! 2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete! 2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg. 2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg. CT (unavailable) 4/2023 2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT. 2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin. 2018- Lamictal 300mg. Holding 2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding. 2014 Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted March 27, 2018 Author Share Posted March 27, 2018 Thanks DMV64! It's hard, but we will keep fighting! I hope you find some relief soon! Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted April 16, 2018 Author Share Posted April 16, 2018 Update 11 weeks after zero. Some major improvements the past two weeks. Akathisia has lost a lot from its intensity and is gone for some days. Still unstable, but a lot less. Less intense mood swings. A LOT less anxiety the past weeks. Today was a milestone. NO anxiety or akathisia whatsoever on waking. First time in almost nine months! Sleep is also much better. Always at least 6 hours, most of the days 7 hours. So that's all good news. I'm still unstable and have a couple 'phases' each day. Light akathisia in the morning, a very heavy fatigue/lethargy around noon until afternoon. The heavy fatigue/lethargy becomes better in the early evening. Sometimes I get some anxiety or light akathisia in the evening. Anhedonia comes and goes during the day. Cognitive-wise still nowhere near normal. But a lot of hours I can enjoy a good mood. I'm tapering the Propranolol at the moment, down to 12.5mg now. This could be the origin of the fatigue/lethargy I experience a lot. I discontinued NAC a while ago, the B6 a couple days later. Magnesium once in a while now. So only melatonin to sleep and Propranolol in the morning (I don't need it no more for the akathisia, but I think I better taper it than CT) I try to do a lot of work in the garden to distract myself from all this, but 10 days ago I got severely injured at my back. Radiating pains in my legs... Not good news according to the therapist. So now my main distraction is gone and I have to find other things that I try to enjoy. A real bummer, especially now in WD. Continuous physical pain makes all of this a lot harder to endure. Still don't know where this is heading but I've been at my best the past week since 8.5 months, the start of it all, so I'm hopeful. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted April 26, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 26, 2018 Hi TheWayBack, I just read your thread, Amazing how that one accidental up dose did so much damage. Just goes to show we have to be so diligent with our tapering. When our brains are in la la land we can easily make mistakes. Recently I think I took a double dose accidentally one night but fortunately it was only one night. Our bodies are so sensitive. I’m sorry you have had akathisia for so long but I was so happy to read that it’s settled a bit lately. I get it too when I’m in bad waves. Hope you continue to feel better each and every day, and by the way I love that you started knitting. I crochet every day, it’s very therapeutic. Gives you something to do that doesn’t take too much brainpower, I do the same stitch over and over again. I just keep making blankets for friends, I think I’ve made over a hundred since I’ve started tapering. Take care my fellow sufferer Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted April 27, 2018 Author Share Posted April 27, 2018 Hi Carmie I'm sorry to hear about your akathisia! Don't worry about a single double dose. This will even out in a while. With me it wasn't just one dose that got upped. More like a couple, and when getting more bad, I even held longer and updosed even more, to see if it lifted the anxiety. And held there. But it was akathisia/toxicity all the time, just didn't recognize it at the time. So now I'm screwed with the dreadful akathisia. It's not the pacing variant I have, more the internal one. Unable to listen to people or focus on something, feelings of doom/terror/anxiety and incredible agitation and restlessness. My window from two weeks ago has closed and I'm getting very unstable again with akathisia/anxiety/physical pain. But we know the drill by now. Staying off is the only way to get rid of this akathisia hell. One bit of relief, my sleep is ok now, and I'm at zero for 3 months now. Hope you get some more relief the coming months! Wishing you all the best! Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted April 27, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted April 27, 2018 9 minutes ago, TheWayBack said: Hi Carmie I'm sorry to hear about your akathisia! Don't worry about a single double dose. This will even out in a while. With me it wasn't just one dose that got upped. More like a couple, and when getting more bad, I even held longer and updosed even more, to see if it lifted the anxiety. And held there. But it was akathisia/toxicity all the time, just didn't recognize it at the time. So now I'm screwed with the dreadful akathisia. It's not the pacing variant I have, more the internal one. Unable to listen to people or focus on something, feelings of doom/terror/anxiety and incredible agitation and restlessness. My window from two weeks ago has closed and I'm getting very unstable again with akathisia/anxiety/physical pain. But we know the drill by now. Staying off is the only way to get rid of this akathisia hell. One bit of relief, my sleep is ok now, and I'm at zero for 3 months now. Hope you get some more relief the coming months! Wishing you all the best! Im so sorry to hear that TheWay Back, Yes, I saw that you up dosed for quite a while. I really am sorry. I get the internal kind of akathisia too. I’m okay at the moment. I feel for you soooo much, I wish I could take away your pain. I have had the external akathisia too but that didn’t last long. Akathisia, whether internal or external, is something you can’t really explain to anyone except to someone whose had it. It got the external kind from meds I was put on but that went once I was off the meds. I get the internal kind when I go through a bad wave. Here’s hoping you get another window soon Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted May 9, 2018 Author Share Posted May 9, 2018 Thanks a lot Carmie! My WD seems to subside more and more, but the more the WD goes, the more brutal the akathisia becomes. And past week has been truly bad, akathisia-wise. I wish you all the best too, sorry I don't reply too often, I'm avoiding the forum a bit. 🙂 Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted June 7, 2018 Author Share Posted June 7, 2018 Another month has passed. WD seems to lessen somewhat, but the akathisia just keeps going and going. I have reasonable days sometimes. But the akathisia destroys every pinch of hope, every single time. But I keep holding on, 10 months+ of akathisia already. The more I speak with other people that got akathisia, the more I see people that have unresolved akathisia for years, especially when caused by SSRI's, not WD akathisia. Some people have had great success with Cyproheptadine. One dude got it from escitalopram (like me) and took it for 3 months after 4 years of suicidal akathisia and it resolved. He is healed now, and med-free. So akathisia always resolving on its own is just NOT true. So I guess if the akathisia is still present after the WD is gone, I'd be willing to try that. I hoped I had a bit better news, this time around. The WD is lessened most of the days to a bearable level, so without the akathisia I'd have good news. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 8, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 8, 2018 On 6/7/2018 at 5:23 PM, TheWayBack said: Another month has passed. WD seems to lessen somewhat, but the akathisia just keeps going and going. I have reasonable days sometimes. But the akathisia destroys every pinch of hope, every single time. But I keep holding on, 10 months+ of akathisia already. The more I speak with other people that got akathisia, the more I see people that have unresolved akathisia for years, especially when caused by SSRI's, not WD akathisia. Some people have had great success with Cyproheptadine. One dude got it from escitalopram (like me) and took it for 3 months after 4 years of suicidal akathisia and it resolved. He is healed now, and med-free. So akathisia always resolving on its own is just NOT true. So I guess if the akathisia is still present after the WD is gone, I'd be willing to try that. I hoped I had a bit better news, this time around. The WD is lessened most of the days to a bearable level, so without the akathisia I'd have good news. Im so sorry your akathisia is so bad at the moment TheWayBack, I get it too when I’m in a bad wave. It really is the worst symptom ever. So your akathisia is from the medication itself and not the withdrawals? Does continue with some people for a while even when they are totally off the medication? Our bodies really don’t like these poisons. Remember though, we are all different. Don’t let other people’s horror stories make u fear. I’ve had fears too, our brains tend to go haywire in withdrawals but we should NEVER compare ourselves with others. I dont know anything about the medication you mentioned, I’m too scared to ever take anything again. Just wanted to let u know I’m thinking of you and I’m so sorry you’ve got akathisia. I wish I could take it away. Sending hugs🤗 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted June 11, 2018 Author Share Posted June 11, 2018 Hi Carmie, Very nice for you to reply, I wish you better days soon, kind soul! My akathisia started with an updose of escitalopram. Never left me since. But when my WD is almost gone, the akathisia flares up with a vengance. Just like when I updosed. So as long as I experience WD, I'm not trying anything, but when I'm more or less stable, something to help me with the akathisia is needed. This is really killing me, almost 11 months now. And it is not WD akathisia. It is med-induced. So, while I'm healing more and more from the WD, the worse I get 😞 I'd rather have anxiety, DR, anxiety, changing moods, nausea, than this brutal akathisia. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
DMV64 Posted June 11, 2018 Share Posted June 11, 2018 I recently updosed. In some ways I am worse. I am tracking my days but I just don’t know if it was a bad decision. 2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg. 2011- increase to 1 mg. 2018- increase to 1.5 mg. Taper 2023-2024. Taper complete! 2010- Trials of SSRI's, several. 2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete! 2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete! 2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg. 2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg. CT (unavailable) 4/2023 2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT. 2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin. 2018- Lamictal 300mg. Holding 2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding. 2014 Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted June 11, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 11, 2018 10 hours ago, TheWayBack said: My akathisia started with an updose of escitalopram. Never left me since. But when my WD is almost gone, the akathisia flares up with a vengance. Just like when I updosed. So as long as I experience WD, I'm not trying anything, but when I'm more or less stable, something to help me with the akathisia is needed. This is really killing me, almost 11 months now. And it is not WD akathisia. It is med-induced. So, while I'm healing more and more from the WD, the worse I get 😞 I'd rather have anxiety, DR, anxiety, changing moods, nausea, than this brutal akathisia. I certainly understand how aggravating and life-stealing the akathisia can be. Akathisia by definition is iatrogenic--caused by these drugs. So as your system continues to heal, it should happen less frequently and with less intensity. You know, sometimes I wish we could spin a wheel and choose our withdrawal symptoms. I agree that I'd prefer anxiety/dp/nausea to akathisia. 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 12, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 12, 2018 On 6/11/2018 at 4:52 PM, TheWayBack said: Hi Carmie, Very nice for you to reply, I wish you better days soon, kind soul! My akathisia started with an updose of escitalopram. Never left me since. But when my WD is almost gone, the akathisia flares up with a vengance. Just like when I updosed. So as long as I experience WD, I'm not trying anything, but when I'm more or less stable, something to help me with the akathisia is needed. This is really killing me, almost 11 months now. And it is not WD akathisia. It is med-induced. So, while I'm healing more and more from the WD, the worse I get 😞 I'd rather have anxiety, DR, anxiety, changing moods, nausea, than this brutal akathisia. Hi TheWayBack, Yes, I certainly understand how you feel. I would much rather have anxiety and depression than akathisia. I don’t have it at the moment as I’m in a window. If I taper slowly I still get the internal akathisia but I can bare it with distractions. I don’t know a lot about med induced akathisia, I get it from withdrawals. I did get med induced akathisia at one stage but they took me off the meds not long after that and it stopped. I don’t remember what medication it was but it ended me up in hospital. A lot of years are just a big blur to me with chronic pain, in and out of hospitals, on and off meds etc etc. I have CFS so I already had severe brain fog, the feeling that everything is surreal. I had severe akathisia, feeling suicidal, thinking there was something terribly wrong with me when it was withdrawals all along. I do remember being at a doctors office n I couldn’t stop pacing. The doctors then look at you like youve got a mental illness when all these symptoms these symptoms are caused from the medication. They caused the symptoms and make you feel like there is something wrong with you. I don’t have any anger towards anyone though, it doesn’t accomplish anything. The main thing is to keep looking forward. Just taking a day at a time, an hour at a time, a minute at a time. Distracting yourself when the symptoms are severe. Crying if you have to when are unbearable, using coping techniques etc. Have you been getting any windows from the akathisia? Sendng hugs🤗 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 Thanks for replying, kind folks. Every time my WD flares up, my akathisia lessens a lot. So I'm looking forward to waves these days. How paradoxical. In a WD wave now. Feeling a bit better now. I do have one more thing to try; I take melatonin to get some sleep at night, and some scientific papers note that melatonin is also a D2-receptor blocker (major cause of akathisia). My sleep is a lot better these days due to the WD getting better, so I'm tapering the melatonin further, starting tonight. This could go in two directions. Akathisia worsening or improving. I truly hope for the latter. Especially tardive dystonia and akathisia is mentioned when coming off quickly from long use of melatonin. So have to do it slowly over months. They mostly speak of doses ranging from 10mg-50mg/day, while I used only 2.5mg, and now already down to 2.25mg. So I don't expect huge problems, but one can never be too careful. Sadly there is nowhere a full pharmacology binding profile to be found, to adequate judge the binding force to the D2 receptor. Don't know what else to do right now to make the akathisia stop. Still too unstable to try cyproheptadine. Advancing role of melatonin in the treatment of neuropsychiatric disorders Quote Melatonin withdrawal upon chronic use was associated with tardive dyskinesia and akathisia as melatonin blocks dopamine receptors.These are some of the serious conditions associated with melatonin use which have high death rate and low recovery rate. Therefore, melatonin is recommended with caution in patients with organic brain damage. For anyone interested. So when faced with akathisia induced by medications, please be careful with melatonin. Anyway, thank you all for the kind words. Hope someone out there gets something out of this, when he/she encounters the same. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 12, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 12, 2018 5 minutes ago, TheWayBack said: akathisia Hi TheWayBack, I can’t seem to quote more than one word or the whole quote. 🤔 That’s quite a difficult situation, isn’t it? When you’re in withdrawals the akathisia lessens and when you’re in a window the akathisia is bad. I wonder what the science behind that is? Please let us all know how you go with the melatonin tapering and if it helps💚 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 I think it is easily explained. Lots of people that got unresolved akathisia from SSRI's have the same problem. In WD, the akathisia is not severe, but once back to baseline it's back just the same as when it occured. There are new pathways made in the brain, that tunnel too much serotonin to the 5HT2A receptors. When in WD, there isn't enough stuff to tunnel everything. When WD is gone, there is enough serotonin to fill the holes. When they take 5HT2A antagonists over a couple of weeks/months, the pathways get closed again. And most of them heal. Even after suffering more than 4 years and developing TD due to the damage that the akathisia does to the dopamine receptors. 3 months on cyproheptadine and the akathisia is gone. Unfortunately, the TD doesn't heal and they need Deep Brain Stimulation operations together with botox injections. So I'm very afraid to develop TD. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 12, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 12, 2018 8 minutes ago, TheWayBack said: I think it is easily explained. Lots of people that got unresolved akathisia from SSRI's have the same problem. In WD, the akathisia is not severe, but once back to baseline it's back just the same as when it occured. There are new pathways made in the brain, that tunnel too much serotonin to the 5HT2A receptors. When in WD, there isn't enough stuff to tunnel everything. When WD is gone, there is enough serotonin to fill the holes. When they take 5HT2A antagonists over a couple of weeks/months, the pathways get closed again. And most of them heal. Even after suffering more than 4 years and developing TD due to the damage that the akathisia does to the dopamine receptors. 3 months on cyproheptadine and the akathisia is gone. Unfortunately, the TD doesn't heal and they need Deep Brain Stimulation operations together with botox injections. So I'm very afraid to develop TD. Thanks for the explanation TheWayBack, Yes, that must be very scary thinking you might get TD, but it’s not a given. We can only take a day a time. Worrying about the future just makes this day today even more stressful. I’ve panicked about many things but I just made myself sicker. I’m learning just to focus on the moment, it can be hard at times. Let me know now how you go with the melatonin reduction💚 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 Will do! Thanks for the reassurance 😊 Hope you will have nice windows soon! Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 12, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 12, 2018 1 minute ago, TheWayBack said: Will do! Thanks for the reassurance 😊 Hope you will have nice windows soon! I’m in a window at the moment TheWayBack, Im not tapering again for another few months as I need a little break. I want to make some happy memories so when I’m in a wave again I can look back n smile. I have a chronic illness and that with withdrawals takes it out of me so I have to have a break every now and then. I can only taper in tiny amounts too and the way I’m going I wouldn’t be surprised if it took me another ten years. I could quite easily start thinking of all the damage the meds are going to do to my system in that time. I could get TD too. I’ve decided not to focus on that but to just take a day at a time. Not much else I can do unless I want to drive myself nuts. We we will win this fight one minute at a time xx Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted June 12, 2018 Author Share Posted June 12, 2018 Nice to hear Carmie! I wish you so many good moments in the foreseeable future! Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 12, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 12, 2018 10 minutes ago, TheWayBack said: Nice to hear Carmie! I wish you so many good moments in the foreseeable future! Thank you so much, Have a few concerts in the next couple of months and am having different friends over for lunch every week. I’ll also be staying with some friends and going on a holiday. I’m very balanced though, I rest a lot as I have CFS. Im making happy memories though. My motto in waves is Distractions! Distractions! Distractions! And my motto in windows is: Make memories😀💚 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
DMV64 Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 What is TD? 2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg. 2011- increase to 1 mg. 2018- increase to 1.5 mg. Taper 2023-2024. Taper complete! 2010- Trials of SSRI's, several. 2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete! 2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete! 2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg. 2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg. CT (unavailable) 4/2023 2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT. 2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin. 2018- Lamictal 300mg. Holding 2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding. 2014 Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium Link to comment
DMV64 Posted June 12, 2018 Share Posted June 12, 2018 I love your motto Carmie. I am slow slow too 2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg. 2011- increase to 1 mg. 2018- increase to 1.5 mg. Taper 2023-2024. Taper complete! 2010- Trials of SSRI's, several. 2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete! 2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete! 2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg. 2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg. CT (unavailable) 4/2023 2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT. 2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin. 2018- Lamictal 300mg. Holding 2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding. 2014 Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Carmie Posted June 16, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted June 16, 2018 On 6/13/2018 at 1:56 AM, DMV64 said: What is TD? Tardive Dykenisia On 6/13/2018 at 1:58 AM, DMV64 said: I love your motto Carmie. I am slow slow too Yep, slow and steady does it DMV💚 Seroquel. 2019:➡️ From 7.25mg to 5.80mg✔️ 2020➡️From 5.60 to 4.80✔️ 2021➡️From 4.60 to 4.0✔️ 2022➡️From 3.95 to 3.55✔️2023➡️ Jan 26=3.50✔️March 17=3.45✔️ June12=3.40✔️ July30=3.35✔️ Sep14=3.30✔️ Oct31=3.25✔️ 2024➡️Jan15=3.20✔️ Feb19=3.15✔️ March26=3.10✔️This is NOT medical advice.Consult your doctor. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted June 27, 2018 Author Share Posted June 27, 2018 Again some more weeks went by. Month 6 since zero is starting. Last month was not as great as I expected. Hoping this will be a bit better, because I have a lot of things to do. Complete overhaul of the roof of our house. And around the start of august, I have a roadtrip planned to Italy with my wife. Very difficult outlook for me, because stress kills me with this akathisia, and with the dysforia that the akathisia gives, nothing is worth doing and everything is just ****. It destroys me mentally that my wife is so happy to go on the roadtrip, while I acknowledge to her that I think the same, but I'm just preparing for a hellish tour-de-force. Last update I wished for some WD to get rid of the worst of the akathisia. I started tapering the melatonin, and boy did the WD deliver. Extreme anxiety, sleep went toxic, rumination to no end, damn... Didn't expect thát. But the akathisia was less... And in a way a small relief. So I got a little bit more hope that stopping the melatonin could be a solution to stopping this akathisia. And it was noticeable less. But I'm now at +-1mg melatonin, a bit more stable again and the akathisia still is very brutal. So further tapering to be sure. I'm getting scared of the akathisia not going away, but I guess that's normal when talking about other people that got persistent aka after SSRI trial, reinstatement or updose. So hoping the WD clears a bit more so I can try a new approach. 11 months of akathisia is giving me suicide thoughts way way too much. But first things first: further tapering of the melatonin, and if that doesn't work, maybe a cyproheptadine trial. It helped a lot of people and keeping this akathisia alive is not healthy either. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted July 4, 2018 Author Share Posted July 4, 2018 Another week went by. I'm posting earlier than expected because I have some questions. WD is brutal and my symptoms are cycling like crazy again. I still get decent sleep, always more than 6 hours, no panic awakenings at 3am for almost two months now. That is really good. The 'better' days I have, although rare, are better than before. A bit more clearheaded and a bit more hopeful and I'm actually glad I'm off Lexapro, so if I eventually stabilize, it's permanent. But at the other hand, when waking I have OR akathisia OR WD anxiety. Both are most days still severe. It gets even more severe as the day progresses instead of, like in the beginning, bad in the morning and better during the day. I get huge waves of anxiety, akathisia, and agitation during the day, even in the evening. Most of the time accompanied with bruxism and muscle stiffness. I never had the bad muscle stiffness, especially in the neck or the shoulders. I have a bit less nerve pains the last week around the eyes. But the huge waves that can last for many hours together with the muscle stiffness and pain are worrying me. I think it is not just a longterm stressrespone because they can disappear in 10 minutes and come back later with a vengeance. Does this sound familiar to someone? Anyway, all around, the anxiety is back to where it was 3 months after zero, which is BAD. Depression is most of the time not severe and I still have some more energy for this fight. It does hurt to see I'm almost a year in this hell and still nowhere near stability. If I knew this would take so long in the beginning I probably killed myself because I never thought I was able to endure this for so long, let alone working every single day and refurbishing our house. (ok, I stayed home a couple of days and went home earlier some days around zero). I now know that we are strong, very strong if we want to be. Coping methods, especially Claire Weekes, are staying immensely important. I keep reading the book every week. I did try taurine yesterday evening and this morning, and while it doesn't work instantly, I did woke up noticeably less anxious and with less aggressive palpitations. It almost felt like a tiny bit of a benzo. GABA mechanism of taurine could be responsible, don't know, but it feels good so far. Coincidence, maybe. Furthermore the melatonin has been tapered down to 0.5mg and over the next week down to 0.25mg. Hopefully that will give me some relief of the akathisia (because of the D2 blocking mechanism of melatonin) and more chance on healing from this demon. Maybe the tapering of melatonin could be the muscle stiffness culprit? Because there are some reports on developing dystonia and dyskinesia from CT of chronic melatonin use. I sure could use some input on this one before I jump off the melatonin completely. Oh maybe another question, regarding soothing the nerves. I'm an avid reader of Claire Weeks and in her book she mentions long time strain, stress and mental fatigue causes agitation. After many weeks of akathisia, my nerves are always raw and damaged. Because during akathisia, you can't relax or do any soothing activity. But once I get relief for a couple of days, there is still a whole lot of agitation left. Standing or sitting still or doing mental tasks is still unbearable. Does anybody else has this agitation after a huge wave? The agitation (and the anxiety that goes hand in hand with it) is very difficult to get rid of. I do practice acceptance and full body relaxation, but how long does this normally take to calm down, in days? Wish you all the strength you need to conquer these demons. Love you all. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted July 19, 2018 Author Share Posted July 19, 2018 (edited) Another two weeks went by. Melatonin tapering reaching the end, now at 0.2mg. Hoping for improvements soon. At the moment still akathisia, albeit most of the time a bit less intense (is it due to the lessening of the melatonin? I don't know.). One more week and I can 'celebrate' one year in akathisia hell. Nerve pains completely gone for two weeks. Cognitive very bad in waves. Seems like my IQ has dropped by 50 points sometimes. Vision blurry. Very out of it. But most other WD symptoms lessening the past weeks. Some big WD anxiety waves here and there, but not all the time. Like two-three times a week, each for 3-6 hours. Sometimes very strong with some light derealisation. Also some very intense mood changes here and there. I can handle that. If only my akathisia would leave... The akathisia anxiety and rumination is pretty constant, together with the akathisia dysphoria. These won't stop killing me from the inside. But we keep marching on, hoping that in a week when I no longer take melatonin, there will be more improvements. One can only hope... Edited July 19, 2018 by SkyBlue removed extra spaces Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus SkyBlue Posted July 19, 2018 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 19, 2018 1 hour ago, TheWayBack said: Nerve pains completely gone for two weeks. Cognitive very bad in waves. Seems like my IQ has dropped by 50 points sometimes. Vision blurry. Very out of it. But most other WD symptoms lessening the past weeks. Some big WD anxiety waves here and there, but not all the time. Like two-three times a week, each for 3-6 hours. Sometimes very strong with some light derealisation. Also some very intense mood changes here and there. I can handle that. If only my akathisia would leave... The akathisia anxiety and rumination is pretty constant, together with the akathisia dysphoria. These won't stop killing me from the inside. But we keep marching on, hoping that in a week when I no longer take melatonin, there will be more improvements. One can only hope... Hi wayback, Thanks for the update. I'm glad the nerve pain has been gone for two weeks. The cognitive issues are so very frustrating but will resolve in time. I agree that hopefully when you are finished tapering the melatonin there will be continued improvements. Hang in there! 2020: After 18+ years (entire adult life) on Paxil, a dangerous doctor-led "taper" in 2015, and four years tapering off the last 1 mg thanks to SA and the Brassmonkey slide, I AM COMPLETELY FREE OF PAXIL! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Forever. 2021: Began conservative, proper, CNS-respecting taper of Zoloft, led by the only expert on me -- me. Making own liquid. 5-10% plus holds. 2022: Holding on Zoloft for now. Current dose 47 mg. Hanging in, hanging on. Severe protracted PAWS, windows and waves. While I may not be doing "a lot" by outside standards, things are graaaaadually getting better. Yoga (gentle to medium); walks; daily breath practice; nutrition, fruits/veg; nature; water; EastEnders (lol); practicing self-compassion, self-care; boundaries; connection; allowing feelings; t r u s t ing that I, too, will heal. (--> may need to be reminded of this.) "You are not alone, and this is not the end of your story." - Baylissa Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted July 20, 2018 Author Share Posted July 20, 2018 Thanks for the reply SkyBlue Today was a very bad day, woke with very high WD anxiety and after two hours brutal akathisia kicked in. I found that I can get some relief by taking icecold showers or bathing in a cold inflatable pool. It seems to temper the akathisia intensity by half for about half an hour. So I work in the garden now and jump in every hour. What an insane ride this is. And in 10 days my wife and I leave on a roadtrip to Italy. I can only hope I will be better than the past days. Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 20, 2018 Administrator Share Posted July 20, 2018 TWB, why do you associate melatonin with your akathisia? Looking back over the topic, it seems melatonin helped you sleep. It has a very short half-life, so it unlikely to cause a symptom in the afternoon. What is your daily symptom pattern? Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Use a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom, drug and dosage) on the right. Did you ever try magnesium? You might try fish oil again, too, seehttp://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/ http://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/ The magnesium is calming and relaxing. A lot of people find them helpful. Try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
DMV64 Posted July 20, 2018 Share Posted July 20, 2018 Hi TWB! Stopping by to say hi. Tell me about your day! 2001- Klonopin 0.125 mg. 2011- increase to 1 mg. 2018- increase to 1.5 mg. Taper 2023-2024. Taper complete! 2010- Trials of SSRI's, several. 2011- Saphris 5 mg. CT. 6/2017- retry Saphris 5 mg sublingual, begin taper August 2020 10% taper with scale, and final taper liquid sublingual, August 2019- taper complete! 2011- Geodon 20 mg. Begin taper Sept 2019. 10% liquid taper. 2020: December-5 mg. 2021: Jan-4.5mg. (held Feb.for vacation). March-4mg. Apr-3.6mg. May-3.2mg. June-2.8mg. (Held July for vacation). Aug-2.4mg. Sept.- 2.2mg. Oct. 2mg. Dec 2022 - Taper complete! 2011- Gabapentin 300 mg to present- 2020. Increase 2023 to 400mg. 2014- Vyvanse 20 mg, 2020- Vyvanse 5 mg. Increase August 2022 20mg. CT (unavailable) 4/2023 2016- Lithium 300 mg, June 2016 - FT. 2017- Cogentin 0.5 mg. June-August 2019- off Cogentin. 2018- Lamictal 300mg. Holding 2021 - Hydroxyzine 30mg. Holding. 2014 Omeprazole 20 mg and holding, Omega 3's/fish oil, Magnesium Link to comment
TheWayBack Posted July 22, 2018 Author Share Posted July 22, 2018 Hi everybody Thanks for replying! The reason I associate akathisia with melatonin is because melatonin is a D2 antagonist. And med-induced akathisia has a lot do to with dopamine shortage in the basal ganglia. So that's why I need to get off melatonin. I need to be sure every pathway to dopamine is as open as it gets, so it can replace the serotonin there. I read a report in a scientific paper about a woman that got dystonia upon withdrawing from melatonin too fast. So it's clear it has a strong effect on dopamine pathways in the basal ganglia. I try to find it again. I'm suffering from akathisia ever since the first time I updosed the escitalopram, which is now a year ago. Updosing and holding made it only worse and worse. When I started to withdraw from escitalopram I felt relief, and I kept feeling relief going down more. In hindsight, the relief was only temporary because my levels of serotonin dropped when withdrawing. Now, 6 months off escitalopram, WD has improved substantially. The problem however is, that I now have a more or less balance back in my head and the akathisia is now a constant. My only serious symptom at the moment. I only take 10mg propranolol in the morning upon waking to temper a bit the akathisia, that is most brutal in the morning. And I take my melatonin in the evening 15 minutes before bed. I tried everything I safely could during the past year; fishoil, magnesium (orally and epsom salts), NAC, Taurine, L-Theanine, B6 (low and high doses), Iron, Vit C, ... Nothing helps very good. Taurine seems to be the best against palpitations. Tried magnesium again yesterday, felt bit relief, but this could be just as well due to the several glasses of sleeptea I drank and the cold baths I kept taking. Haven't touched fish-oil in a long time. Until I stumbled upon cold water. Cold water boosts dopamine in the brain and I started taking very cold showers and baths. Colder and colder. This gives me incredible relief, almost like a benzo for my akathisia. Been doing this as much as I can during the holiday now, several times a day. The relief only lasts about 45minutes to an hour. The problem is, the akathisia is VERY brutal these days, with pacing, extreme rumination, extreme dysphoria, just like a year ago when it started. So I know I have to take action or I'll seriously kill myself. So I have a couple reasonable safe options now: Cyproheptadine (met a guy that got extreme akathisia from escitalopram, like me - had it for four years and it resolved after a 4 month course of the med, now off and has no akathisia anymore) I can't get it in Belgium, so have to go abroad to get it. Stupid. Cannabis (Josh from Living with akathisia has tremendous benefits from it, made his life a bit more bearable) I tried today the last one. I have been a daily happy smoker for years before all of this and guessed, now that WD has a bit lifted, it was worth a shot. It worked very well for the physical side. Pacing stopped immediately, but I was so high (even from a tiny bit) I couldn't do simple things. The dysphoria lifted a bit too. Cognitive very bad. Rumination stayed the same, anxiety lessened a bit. So overall not great the first 2 hours. Now, 2 hours later, while writing this, I feel a lot more relaxed, akathisia is a lot less. Don't know if it is coincidence, but have to see tomorrow. Now very fuzzy trying to do some chores here today. Well, being fuzzy beats akathisia anytime. I'll try to enjoy it a bit. Hopefully this has been a bit coherent. Lots of love to everyone and lots of healing, thank you all for listening! Origin of Panic Attack and Anxiety Disorder: Overdose of Hallucinogenic HOT-7. 2013-09 20mg escitalopram. In the 4 first months 0.5-1mg/day Alprazolam for sleep & difficult situations. Tapered the first time from 20mg to 0mg in 17 months or so. Withdrawal 6-8 weeks after last dose. Didn't taper enough to low enough doses (+-1mg). 2015-01-02 Back on 10mg after one week of delayed withdrawal. Stable in 8 days. Second time tapered 2 years from 10mg to 1.6mg. Stable for half a year in range 2.5mg-1.6mg. 2017-07-28 Measurement errors: went for 1-2 weeks on 2mg. Restlessness and anxiety. Tried back to go back to 1.7mg for 5 days. Anxiety stayed. 2017-08-03 - 2017-08-20 Switched to liquid Lexapro 20mg/ml (1 drop is 1mg). Updosed to 2mg hoping to stabilize. Horrible Panic and Anxiety. Hold for 17 days hoping to stabilize. Didn't work enough for me at the time. 2017-08-20 End of holiday approaching. No more time. Decision to up dose to 5mg escitalopram. Back to the pills. Tapering alprazolam. A lot of side effects: Akathisia, more anxiety, very troubling sleep, every thought and movement gave me panic attacks. Worst time of my life. I did learn coping skills in this period. A lot. Mastering meditation, mastering floating technique and more Claire Weekes stuff... Can handle extreme anxiety pretty decent now. 2017-09-30 Going down again because holding got worse almost every day. ADVICE TO OTHER ESCITALOPRAM PEOPLE, if updose doesn't work in two weeks, go down again!!! WD is not as brutal as adverse updose effects! After every taper (while tapering pretty manageable, after couple weeks holding, akathisia and extreme anxiety came back) 2018-01-29 Got to ZERO. A hard way down for sure. And now hoping for improvements along the way... Tapering melatonin gave me dystonic reactions however.14 months after zero: Alternating akathisia, dystonic reactions and WD. Very unstable. No meds whatsoever. 31 months after zero: dystonia got worse, still very high anxiety, and many symptoms... no healing in sight. Adverse reaction destroyed me. Link to comment
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