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robcbar1: Suffering after 20 years of SSRI


robcbar1

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I totally understand that, and we all appreciate this site more than anything else right now. BUT I too, in the depth of withdrawal, have felt that some of the MODS have been extremely short and not kind. This doesn't feel great when you can barely think. I just need to put that out there... Please remember when you were in the same dark place. 

 

Also- some of us are still trying to figure out how this site works, which also isn't an easy feat with a broken brain.

 

Thank you again for all your selfless support :)

med history: 17 years total

Concerta: 2 yrs - cold turkey, brought on first "depression" 

Short trials of Zoloft and Effexor: 1-3 years - multiple cold turkey's brought on OCD intrusive thoughts for the first time

Lexapro 15-20 mg (16 yrs)  - tried to quit once, cold turkey, worst WD ever, had to go on to 20mg to stop WD

Welbutrin 150mg (8-ish yrs) NO w/d symptoms from CT

Adderall 5-7.5mg (8-10-ish yrs) quit CT, brought on many WD symptoms, but manageable. 

 

Begin taper March 2018 Currently on 4.4 mg lexapro - down from 20mg

 

Symptoms depression, horrible intrusive thoughts and urges, new onset PMS/PMDD, constant extreme irritation and anger, visual hallucinations, irrational thinking patterns, panic, nausea, dizzy, intolerance to working out, chemical sensitivities, noise sensitivities, memory issues, heart palps, etc. 

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  • Moderator Emeritus
1 hour ago, Peachy said:

Please remember when you were in the same dark place. 

 

Also- some of us are still trying to figure out how this site works, which also isn't an easy feat with a broken brain.

 

The mods understand that members are struggling.  As well as trying to help the large number of members who need assistance on this site, many of the mods are experiencing their own tapering and withdrawal issues, as well as having their own lives to live.  However, in order to help members we need information from them that we can't get any other way.  When the information is requested several times (which is the case here) and the member doesn't provide it, then there comes a point when we have to tell them that unless they help themselves by providing the information we are unable to help them.  Our time is limited so we use it to help the members who are willing to make the effort to provide what is needed.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

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  • Administrator

@Peachy If a person doesn't feel like cooperating, there's no point in staff attempting to help.

 

Every member of the staff, me included, has been through the wringer. We understand people are confused. We can only do so much. None of us has superhuman powers to read minds or perform miracle cures.

 

Some people need to be left alone to make their own way.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Let’s move on.  I completely understand and respect SA’s policies.  I’m not being intentionally uncooperative nor trying to waste anyone’s time.  I cannot provide a daily symptom pattern because that’s not how I’m currently experiencing my symptoms.  It’s all good.  No hard feelings.  We’re all on the same team.         

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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22 hours ago, Hibari said:

Thank you robbcar1.  

 

I am on my 3rd day of divided doses and while today I am not feeling well, I understand that it's a combination of getting used to the new formula and wd.   Very frustrating after two days with long windows. 

I too have found a psychiatrist who specializes in antidepressant withdrawal and she is very encouraging of me.  Lots of validation for what I am going through and strong conviction that I will get off this final amount.  I need that kind of encouragement and support.   I like you am super sensitive to all supplments, coffee, alcohol, etc . Even before meds, I could always feel the moment an aspirin hit my nervous system.  I

 

While I have a Facebook account, I have not used FB in a long time.   Would you let me know the name of the Lamictal group and do you know if it's possible to join anonymously? 

 

I offer you my support as well knowing we both are striving to balance our nervous systems. 

 

 

Keep up the good work.  Finding a psychiatrist who specializes in AD withdrawal is practically unheard of… well done!    

 

I’m not a big social media user but there are closed groups on Facebook for pretty much anything you can imagine.  As far as I know, your friends will not see the content you post, but your membership is not anonymous.  You can find the Lamictal group by performing a group search.  Please be careful what you read (and believe) because there’s a lot of misinformation out there.    

 

I wholeheartedly recommend the ‘healing through positivity’ group.  You’re not allowed to talk about your symptoms which is a nice break for people like me who obsesses about them.  Do I think positivity alone is a cure-all...absolutely not…but it’s helped me a lot by forcing me to stop, think, and keep things in perspective. 

 

Please feel free to message me with any questions. 

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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@robcbar1 do you have a link to the facebook group for positivity? I can't find it...

 

med history: 17 years total

Concerta: 2 yrs - cold turkey, brought on first "depression" 

Short trials of Zoloft and Effexor: 1-3 years - multiple cold turkey's brought on OCD intrusive thoughts for the first time

Lexapro 15-20 mg (16 yrs)  - tried to quit once, cold turkey, worst WD ever, had to go on to 20mg to stop WD

Welbutrin 150mg (8-ish yrs) NO w/d symptoms from CT

Adderall 5-7.5mg (8-10-ish yrs) quit CT, brought on many WD symptoms, but manageable. 

 

Begin taper March 2018 Currently on 4.4 mg lexapro - down from 20mg

 

Symptoms depression, horrible intrusive thoughts and urges, new onset PMS/PMDD, constant extreme irritation and anger, visual hallucinations, irrational thinking patterns, panic, nausea, dizzy, intolerance to working out, chemical sensitivities, noise sensitivities, memory issues, heart palps, etc. 

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2 minutes ago, Peachy said:

@robcbar1 do you have a link to the facebook group for positivity? I can't find it...

 

Positive People Heal Quicker. :)

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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darn! it doesn't come up when i search for it.. do you have the link?

 

med history: 17 years total

Concerta: 2 yrs - cold turkey, brought on first "depression" 

Short trials of Zoloft and Effexor: 1-3 years - multiple cold turkey's brought on OCD intrusive thoughts for the first time

Lexapro 15-20 mg (16 yrs)  - tried to quit once, cold turkey, worst WD ever, had to go on to 20mg to stop WD

Welbutrin 150mg (8-ish yrs) NO w/d symptoms from CT

Adderall 5-7.5mg (8-10-ish yrs) quit CT, brought on many WD symptoms, but manageable. 

 

Begin taper March 2018 Currently on 4.4 mg lexapro - down from 20mg

 

Symptoms depression, horrible intrusive thoughts and urges, new onset PMS/PMDD, constant extreme irritation and anger, visual hallucinations, irrational thinking patterns, panic, nausea, dizzy, intolerance to working out, chemical sensitivities, noise sensitivities, memory issues, heart palps, etc. 

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1 hour ago, Peachy said:

darn! it doesn't come up when i search for it.. do you have the link?

 

I don’t.  Type “positive” in the Facebook search bar and it should come right up.  

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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  • 2 months later...
  • Mentor

hi there robcbar1

 

just popping in to say hi 

and ask how you are doing these days

 

hope all is well with you

:)

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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15 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

hi there robcbar1

 

just popping in to say hi 

and ask how you are doing these days

 

hope all is well with you

:)

 

 

Hi Happy – Thank you so much for checking in on me!  I’m still struggling right now but I’m a lot better than a year ago.  1/8 was my anniversary of a dreadful 2-week hospitalization last year so if I compare myself to then, I’m definitely improving.  It’s just really slow as you know.  I’m sleeping 4-6 hrs a night, have much less anxiety, derealization (my worse symptom) has died down, and my overall mood is pretty good.  I’m still dealing with irritability, sound sensitivity, memory loss, tinnitus, dizziness (can’t drive because of it), and a few other nuisances.  But hey...I’m alive!!         

 

I had a glorious window over the holidays and felt like me again for a few weeks.  I got knocked into a wave after getting novocain at the dentist last week…I had no idea it was epinephrine based.  I wanted to jump out of my skin and didn't sleep at all that night.  Earlier this week I had a root canal with only a topical anesthetic and single injection of a mild non-epinephrine based anesthetic.  I pretty much felt all of it and thought I was going to lose my mind.  It was the stuff of horror movies.   What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger I guess. 

 

I find it odd that when we are in a window, the memories of the waves are erased and vice versa.  Like right now, a side of me knows this little wave won’t last forever, but the other side of me is terrified that it will.  I fantasize about posting my success story and I know someday it will happen.         

 

How are you doing???

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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  • Mentor
On 1/10/2019 at 11:24 AM, robcbar1 said:

I find it odd that when we are in a window, the memories of the waves are erased and vice versa.

oh I know what you mean! I have infrequent very mild and short waves but when they hit, it's like all the windows didn't exist. it's some kind of mind trick I guess...a part of the brain is so busy putting itself back to where it belongs, it doesn't have the time to remind us that we were fine just even a few hours before. Weird

 

sorry about your experience with novacaine, at least now you know to request something without epinephrine (I have to do the same thing but for a different reason) I'm upset that your anesthetic didn't work, in my experience, the alternative they use does work but it takes longer to take effect, so they need to wait. In many dentist's offices these days they are high volume, they want you in and out fast, so they don't care to have someone tying up a chair for so long, and they'll go ahead and drill or whatever before you are numb. If I were you, I'd look for a dentist who is willing to give the anesthetic the time it takes to work, and not put you thru unnecessary pain.  

 

overall, though, things sure are improving for you, I'm so glad!

you'll write that success story :)

 

 

I'm doing well, thanks for asking!

very grateful for this site and all the support and advice I've gotten over the past several years. ❤️

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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On 1/10/2019 at 8:24 AM, robcbar1 said:

I find it odd that when we are in a window, the memories of the waves are erased and vice versa.

 

this is so true!  @robcbar1 I haven't read your whole story, but saw the post above and was struck by it - that's exactly what happens to me. Doesn't matter where my mood is - a little up, way up, way down - for some reason I feel like that is how it has always been, and always will be. and when I tell myself "this feeling is temporary, ALL feelings are temporary" I have trouble believing it. 

 

I went back to your first post and found this:

Quote

I'm scared that my long-term use of SSRIs have damaged me in a way that won't heal. 

 

I know what you mean: I am 57 and was on SSRIs since my 20s. I am also afraid.

 

But, I am an Occupational Therapy Assistant and I know for a fact that even when a stroke completely destroys parts of your brain you can build new connections.

 

this is absolutely true! so if the damage heals that's great but if it doesn't,  it doesn't matter, your brain can work around it. our brains are always recreating themselves just like our bodies get stronger when we make them work.

 

I'm glad you are doing so much better (since the first post) and at least know what caused the wave, so you can avoid it in the future. 

 

 

 

 

Currently taking Ramapril (blood pressure) 5 mg twice a day

Omeprazole 10 mg AM and 20 mg PM  (the taper has gone nowhere after the first cut)

Famotidine   once a day (and I still needs tums sometimes)

magnesium 200 mg at night

as of yesterday 2 fish oil capsules "EPA-DHA 1000"

 

off Lexapro as of 5/2018  - last dose had been 5 mg every other day for a couple years

 

highest dose had been 20 mg at which point I was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which went away when I cut the lexapro down to 15 mg. 

 

I spent years on Paxil before Lexapro (can't remember dose), briefly on Effexor and Abilify and others I have forgotten. in fact, when I was diagnoses with BPII I was put on all kinds of things which made me feel so bad I stopped them cold turkey within maybe 3 or 4 weeks, thank goodness. since then I've known these pills were terrible and I weaned down the Lexapro with zero help or support over I'm not sure how many years. 

 

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Thank you for the last two posts.  So sweet and much needed!!!  The tooth that had the root canal is now infected, and the dentist wants to prescribe an antibiotic. From what I’ve read on here, antibiotics can be very bad and WD.  I know “floxins” are bad but  it sounds like people react from penicillin-based drugs on here too. I don’t know what to do. 😓

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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  • Mentor
20 minutes ago, JackieDecides said:

this is absolutely true! so if the damage heals that's great but if it doesn't,  it doesn't matter, your brain can work around it. our brains are always recreating themselves just like our bodies get stronger when we make them work.

thanks so much for posting this! I never thought about this before, but as a long term psych drug survivor, this is extremely encouraging  to know and to remember.

 

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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  • Mentor
35 minutes ago, robcbar1 said:

Thank you for the last two posts.  So sweet and much needed!!!  The tooth that had the root canal is now infected, and the dentist wants to prescribe an antibiotic. From what I’ve read on here, antibiotics can be very bad and WD.  I know “floxins” are bad but  it sounds like people react from penicillin-based drugs on here too. I don’t know what to do. 😓

oh dear, I can't give you any advice on antibiotics,  but I've had a course of them while in acute WD and it didn't seem to make anything worse, if that helps. I think it was zithromax, which probably isn't used for infected teeth

 

gosh I hope you can get good info on what AB would be the safest for you in this situation!

 

  • pysch med history: 1974 @ age 18 to Oct 2017 (approx 43 yrs total) 
  •  Drug list: stelazine, haldol, elavil, lithium, zoloft, celexa, lexapro(doses as high as 40mgs), klonopin, ambien, seroquel(high doses), depakote, zyprexa, lamictal- plus brief trials of dozens of other psych meds over the years
  • started lexapro 2002, dose varied from 20mgs to 40mgs. First attempt to get off it was 2007- WD symptoms were mistaken for "relapse". 
  •  2013 too fast taper down to 5mg but WD forced me back to 20mgs
  •  June of 2105, tapered again too rapidly to 2.5mgs by Dec 2015. Found SA, held at 2.5 mgs til May 2016 when I foolishly "jumped off". felt ok until  Sept, then acute WD hit!!  reinstated at 0.3mgs in Oct. 2106
  • Tapered off to zero by  Oct. 2017 Doing very well. 
  • Nov. 2018 feel 95% healed, age 63 
  • Jan. 2020 feel 100% healed, peaceful and content
  • Dec 2023 Loving life! ❤️ with all it's ups and downs ;) 
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Great to here from you Rob & thrilled to see you have made progress. Keep going!

Mirtazipine - 2013 (12months) - COLD TURKEY - NO SIDE EFFECTS
Zoloft - 2014 (6 weeks) - ADVERSE REACTION!!!

Currently only take 5mg Valium on a as needed basis (once a month)

Current symptoms - Sensitive CNS, Tinnitus, Insomnia, Erectile Dysfunction, Feel terrible every single day, No emotions, HELL!

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  • 1 month later...

How are you doing, Rob?

EffexorXR 150mg - on and off since 2003-2004

Last Taper August 2018 - October 2018

Reinstatement of EffexorXR - December 2018

Started mirtazapine 15mg - December 2018 - dose increased to 30mg, now down to 22.5mg

Hydroxyzine - December 2018 - 25mg, as needed

EffexorXR - 75mg

 

 

 

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  • 3 months later...

How you getting on Rob? 

Mirtazipine - 2013 (12months) - COLD TURKEY - NO SIDE EFFECTS
Zoloft - 2014 (6 weeks) - ADVERSE REACTION!!!

Currently only take 5mg Valium on a as needed basis (once a month)

Current symptoms - Sensitive CNS, Tinnitus, Insomnia, Erectile Dysfunction, Feel terrible every single day, No emotions, HELL!

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  • 3 weeks later...

I'm doing ok.  Many of my symptoms are either gone or markedly better.  I’m sleeping, eating, socializing, and living a somewhat normal life.  Biggest issues remaining are irritability, dizziness/derealization, and memory loss.  I’m still not driving on the highway and fight persistent racing thoughts/irritability every day (mostly triggered by stress).  I have a strange ADD thing going on which makes typing emails and writing particularly difficult, so my job (advertising) is more challenging.  Have any of my protracted withdrawal friends experienced this pattern of recovery?  As I’ve said before, we do heal…it needs to be said over and over, especially to those just entering this hell.  The length of time (almost 4 years) from when this whole thing started for me is difficult to grasp at times but I have built a solid recovery network around me with people who get it (1:1 interactions, facebook groups, meetups, etc.).  I also volunteer at the rehab I lived at last spring (thanks to SSRI WD combined with lamictal WD) and I find giving back helps immensely.  Don’t ever give up on yourself and don’t let people on here bring you down.  Love to all.            

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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  • 3 weeks later...

Yes Rob! Great to hear you’ve made significant progress! 

Mirtazipine - 2013 (12months) - COLD TURKEY - NO SIDE EFFECTS
Zoloft - 2014 (6 weeks) - ADVERSE REACTION!!!

Currently only take 5mg Valium on a as needed basis (once a month)

Current symptoms - Sensitive CNS, Tinnitus, Insomnia, Erectile Dysfunction, Feel terrible every single day, No emotions, HELL!

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  • 7 months later...

@robcbar1 Can you provide an update? Very interested to hear. My WD issues started in 2017 and I quoted you in my original intro , though first  half the post was lost . You seem to have made a lot of progress. 

1999:  Paroxetine (20mg). Age 16. 2007-2008: Fluoxetine (Prozac) for 1.5 years (age 25) Citalopram 20mg 2002-2005, 2009: Escitalopram (20mg), 2 weeks, (age 26) (adverse  reaction)/*Valium 5mg/Temazepam 10mg 2010: Mirtazipine (Remeron)( do not remember dosage) 2010, 5 months.                     2010-2017: Citalopram (20mg) (age 27 to 34) 2016: i.1st Sept- 31st Oct Citalopram 10mg , ii.1st November 2017-30th November 2017, Citalopram 5mg iii.1st December 2017- 4th February 2018, Citalopram 0mg, iv.5th February 2018- March 2018 Citalopram 5mg (10mg every other day) 28th February- tried titration of 5mg ( some adverse effects)

2018: 1st March 2018- 1st June Citalopram 10 mg (tablet form) /started titration 8mg , then 7 mg.2018: June 15th- 10th July Citalopram 10 mg pill every other day 2018: 10th July - 13th Sept Citalopram- 0mg  (CBD oil first month of 0mg, passiflora on and off) 2018 13th Sept Citalopram  2mg ,  approx 16th Sept 4mg , approx 25th Sept 6mg held.  2019: 11 Feb 19: 7mg (instant bad rxn) 12 Feb 19 6mg held 1 May 19 5.4mg held 5 Oct 19 5.36mg 22 Oct 19 5.29mg 30 Oct 19 5.23mg 4/NOV/19 5.18mg 12 Nov 19 5.08mg 20 Nov 19 4.77mg 7 May 22 2.31mg 17/09/2023 0.8mg

(Herbal/Supplements since 1st September: Omega Fish Oil 1200mg, 663mg of EPA- 2 tablets a day, magnesium and magnesium bath salts)

I did not die, and yet I lost life’s breath
- Dante
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  • 1 year later...

I haven't dropped by in a long time and felt I owed it to the community to provide an update.  You can read about my painful journey above but in short, at my lowest point in 2018 I was hospitalized for 2 weeks and spent another 9 weeks at a holistic drug rehab.  Doctors didn't believe me, my family was/is non-existent, and most of my friends turned their backs on me.  I was so very sick and still can't believe I survived the hell on earth of protracted SSRI withdrawal.  Unbelievably...today I'm pretty much 100% HEALED.  Not perfect, but healed.  I can eat/drink/do everything I did before withdrawal and enjoy 6-8 hrs of glorious SLEEP every night.  Caffeine makes to feel weird and my balance is still little wonky but that's about it.  My emotions are more raw and I have less tolerance for BS than numbed out Lexapro Rob had.  I'm alive and that's all that matters.  I attribute my recovery to my devoted wife, HOPE (shout out to @pug who's story on SA saved my life), NEVER GIVING UP on myself, positive FB withdrawal groups, a great therapist, the rehab/recovery community (I still volunteer), two docs who had the courage to validate my situation, and most importantly TIME.  As I've said in previous posts...to those who are suffering right now:  IT GETS BETTER.  I can't promise when or how, but you won't feel this way forever I promise.  You need to believe that.  Look in the mirror no matter how sick you feel and keep saying those words.  If I can recover, anyone can...and that means YOU!!! 

 

DON'T

EVER

GIVE

UP!!! 

 

Love to you all. -Rob   

unmedicated since 2020 :) 

  

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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On 6/13/2021 at 9:40 PM, robcbar1 said:

BETTER

 

On 6/13/2021 at 9:40 PM, robcbar1 said:

I haven't dropped by in a long time and felt I owed it to the community to provide an update.  You can read about my painful journey above but in short, at my lowest point in 2018 I was hospitalized for 2 weeks and spent another 9 weeks at a holistic drug rehab.  Doctors didn't believe me, my family was/is non-existent, and most of my friends turned their backs on me.  I was so very sick and still can't believe I survived the hell on earth of protracted SSRI withdrawal.  Unbelievably...today I'm pretty much 100% HEALED.  Not perfect, but healed.  I can eat/drink/do everything I did before withdrawal and enjoy 6-8 hrs of glorious SLEEP every night.  Caffeine makes to feel weird and my balance is still little wonky but that's about it.  My emotions are more raw and I have less tolerance for BS than numbed out Lexapro Rob had.  I'm alive and that's all that matters.  I attribute my recovery to my devoted wife, HOPE (shout out to @pug who's story on SA saved my life), NEVER GIVING UP on myself, positive FB withdrawal groups, a great therapist, the rehab/recovery community (I still volunteer), two docs who had the courage to validate my situation, and most importantly TIME.  As I've said in previous posts...to those who are suffering right now:  IT GETS BETTER.  I can't promise when or how, but you won't feel this way forever I promise.  You need to believe that.  Look in the mirror no matter how sick you feel and keep saying those words.  If I can recover, anyone can...and that means YOU!!! 

 

DON'T

EVER

GIVE

UP!!! 

 

Love to you all. -Rob   

unmedicated since 2020 :) 

  

This is so amazing and should be added to the success story page. Very inspired by your post as I too, have been on zoloft for 15 years. Reinstatement worked for me so far, but I plan on doing a very very slooowwww taper. I struggled with dp/Dr and still have days with it, so the fact that this symptom is gone for you makes my heart so happy. ♥

 

2006- started zoloft 75mg

Dec 2020- began zoloft taper continued tapering down

March 2021- off zoloft, 0mg

Jun 2021- restarted zoloft 25mg

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  • 1 year later...

I read all the posts and seeing you are healed in the end gives me tears. You are the first one with derealization recovered. Could I ask how would you describe your DR? Mine is like everything looks flat even 2D. How does it feel when derealization is getting better? Thank you so much!

2021/2 - 2021/5: Xanax 1mg, zopiclone 3.75mg; 2021/5 - 2021/8: Xanax 1mg, zopiclone 3.75mg, venlafaxine 225mg; 2021/8 - 2021/11: Clonazapem 2mg, venlafaxine 225mg, rexulti 2mg, mirtazapine 30mg, zopiclone 3.75mg; 2021/11 - 2021/12: Clonazapem 2mg, venlafaxine 225mg, rexulti 2mg

Crashed, mirtazapine WD(didn't know at that time)

2022/1 - 2022/3: Clonazapem 2mg, venlafaxine 225mg, bupropion 300mg; 2022/4 - 2022/5:Clonazapem 1mg, venlafaxine 187.5mg, trazodone 100mg

2022/5 - 2022/8/15: Clonazepam 0.5mg(wean off), trazodone 100mg, lexapro 20mg(cross taper), rexulti 3mg

Crashed, suspect to be benzo WD

2022/8/16 - 2022/9/7: Clonazepam  0.5mg, venlafaxine 150mg(side effect this time), rexulti 3mg, trazodone 100mg, seroquel 25mg; 2022/9/8 - 2022/10/1: Clonazepam 1mg, trintellix 20mg(cross taper), rexulti 3mg, trazodone 50mg, seroquel 25mg; 2022/10/2 - 2022/11/8: Clonazepam 1mg, trintellix 10mg, trazodone 25mg

Crashed since 10/9

2022/11/9 - 2022/11/15: Clonazepam 1mg, trintellix 5mg; 2022/11/16 - 2022/12/2: Clonazepam 1mg, trintellix 5mg, dayvigo 5mg; 2022/12/3 - 2022/12/21: Clonazapem 1mg, trintellix 5mg, dayvigo 2.5mg

Fly back to China from Canada, 13hrs jet lag triggered severe wave til today.

2022/12/22 - 2023/3/21: Clonazepam 1mg, trintellix 5mg, dayvigo 5mg

2023/3/21 - now: Clonazepam 1mg, trintellix 10mg, dayvigo 5mg

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  • 1 month later...

Hi @angela9985, just to reassure you more people with dp/Dr have indeed recovered. I believe Petunia and Shep, moderators here have as well, in addition to others. 
 

 

Aug 2020 - Feb 2022 on and off Lexapro 5 and 10mg,  Rapid taper

Nov 2021 - May 2022 on off Wellbutrin 100mg, 150mg, 75mg CT clindamycin cycle and also Plan B bc 1x 

Fall 2020- June 2022 - Xanax .5 PRN usually 4x a week, CT 

June 2022 - Z pack, Buspar 7.5 3 days

September 20-24th - low tryptophan diet and 20-30g beef gelatin powder

Oct 3- 16 - Xanax .5 for sleep each pm, 1 mg Ativan in ER, .25 Xanax —> .125–>0 

Oct 14-17Trazadone 50/75, Lunesta 3mg 

Oct 24-  start Belsomra, 4 days to20mg 

Nov 3-5 10mg Belsomra and 300mg Gabapentin 

Oct 13-Dec 1 Buspar 7.5 2x/day rapid taper over 2 weeks due to ADR 

Recent: Belsomra 20mg since 10/23/2022 to 15mg mid December for 2 nights —> 20mg —> 15 mg since 12/22/2022 —>14 mg compounded 02/11/2023 —> 15 mg 2/13 —> 10mg 2/22 —> 5mg 3/1 —> 0mg 3/8/2023 

Current:  Propanolol 20mg AM, 10mg 4pm, 20mg PM since 11/30/2022

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Hello

A similar story….

was on Paxil 20mg… (pooped out) switched for lexapro 10…7,5 then 5mg to be kind of ok but suffering from withdrawal since the switched. 

I’m at 3mg lexapro now but it’s difficult. i didn’t taper since october 2022 and symptoms last forever…..

should I reinstate 5mg ? 
should I wait to settle and stabilize (if it happens one day) 

should I switch for an other AD like proz@c


a bit lost….please help 

1999-2002 Seropram 20mg, 2002-2004 Paxil 10mg; 2004-2012 Paxil 20mg, 2012-2013 Effexor 75mg, 2013-2018 Paxil 20mg, 2018-2019 Effexor 75mg, 2019-2021 Paxil 20mg, 2021-present Lexapro 5mg

10-2022 Lexapro 4,5mg + Fish oil + Magnesium, 06-25-2022 Lexapro 4mg + fish oil + Magnesium, 07-23-2022 Lexapro 3.5mg + fish oil + magnesium 

08-23-2022 Lexapro 3.2mg + fish oil + magnesium 

10-13-2022 Lexapro 3mg + fish oil + magnesium

01-01-2023 Lexapro 2,9mg + fish oil + magnesium (insomnia + night anxiety + anxiety) 

01-20-2023 Lexapro 3mg + fish oil + magnesium 

02-11-2023 Lexapro 5mg (no fish oil - no magnesium)

 

Had to take one prazepam (10mg) in night January22nd 2023 

Had to take one prarepam (10mg) in night February 10th 2023

Prazepam if needed in case of panic attack

     
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Hi all - Looks like there's a lot of focus on DR in recent posts.  It was one of my hallmark symptoms for over two years.  Truly hell on Earth.  All I can say, and you need to believe me, is that is does get better.  I haven't had daily DR since mid 2018.  At times, it seems like a very bad dream when looking back at my journey.  Am I perfect right now?  Nope.  I am me... natural and flawed.  99.9% of my symptoms are long gone.  You are ALL warriors and will get through the storm.     

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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@robcbar1 I m still having Tinnitus both ears daily. ENT studies normal. Dealing with alot of stress which is not helping me. I have a hard time controling my emotions. Anger, anxiety, and the worst Insomnia. That one is what put on Trazodone aftet stopping Celexa. Insomnia ia the real beast.

Celexa 10 mg started (for panic attack) and quickly stopped. From Jan 2001 to September 2001 stopped cold turkey.

Celexa 10mg taken for short period of time in 2010; could not take for a long period of time due to side effects, thus only taken for about 2 months. Went through withdrawal symptoms, and protracted symptoms for at least 1.5 years.

Restarted Celexa 10 mg in 2013 to 2016 off and on. (never could tolerate anything above 10mg) to due work related stress, and not because of anxiety or depression. Never could consistently take a pill daily for weeks at a time, due to side effects. 

Restarted in 2019 off and on again for a year, than in October 2020, cold turkey stopped. Did not know about this website, never was told how to stop or to taper since "I was not taking a high dose", suffered insomnia, elevated blood pressure, anxiety, stress, but not any real devastating symptoms. 

Have not swallowed a micro dust of Citalopram since October 2020, and it's October 2021 now.

Started trazodone 25mg in April 5th, 2021 for insomnia, horrible choice, recommended by doctor, couldn't tolerate side effects, tapered, every other day for a month starting on April 24th, than every 2 days for 1 months in May as recommended by doctor, until last 25 mg pill swallowed on June 07,2021. What a mistake! 

No SSRI's or SSNI's or any psycho medications have been ingested by me since June 07,2021. And life has been hell, especially after the Trazodone was introduced. 

March 17th, 18th, 2022. I took a cough suppressant that contained Dextromethrophan. Took a total of 20 mg over 2 days, to suppress cough. Caused a major exacerbation of previous symptoms. Have suffered 2 Panic attacks, difficulty sleeping, anxiety which had been well controlled for at least 3 months. And also worsen my Withdrawal induced Tinnitus.

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  • 6 months later...

Hi robcbar1 how are you now. I identify very much with your drug history and withdrawal symptoms. Hope things have improved. Best wishes Peter23

2000-Venlafaxine 150 mg and Olanzapine 10 mg started

2012- Venlafaxine(tapered off) to Sertraline 150 mg until 2021, added mirtazapine 30 mg until 2019

2018-2023, Oct- Pregabalin, started 150 mg to 600 mg

2019- Diazepam started 6mg

2022- July-restart mirtazapine(unsuccessful) Oct- ECT X 12, Zopliclone 7.5 mg start- present

2023- January, olanzapine decreased to 7.5 mg, Lorazepam 1 mg X 2 weeks, Diazepam increased- 20 mg, some tapering to June-Diazepam 10 mg

March- Agomelatine added-25 mg

October 9th, 2023 present meds bolded

 

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Hi Peter23 - I’m doing good.  Life is 98% normal for me.  There are some residual annoyances that I still deal with but such is life.  You will heal.  It just takes a time and a lot of patience.  Message me with questions, always happy to help.  

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

Link to comment
On 1/18/2023 at 5:02 PM, robcbar1 said:

Hi all - Looks like there's a lot of focus on DR in recent posts.  It was one of my hallmark symptoms for over two years.  Truly hell on Earth.  All I can say, and you need to believe me, is that is does get better.  I haven't had daily DR since mid 2018.  At times, it seems like a very bad dream when looking back at my journey.  Am I perfect right now?  Nope.  I am me... natural and flawed.  99.9% of my symptoms are long gone.  You are ALL warriors and will get through the storm.     

Hello @robcbar1 

what a journey you had. Like you I started Paxil in 99 so 24y with differents AD. I tried recently to do the 10% reduction arrived at 3mg lexapro… hell arrived. No really DR but headache, eyes pain, insomnia,…. 
my boss told me you changed, your not focus anymore on your tasks, etc, my wife said I changed, and I was suffering so to keep my job, my family I had to go back on AD full dosage. 
I feel much better now but with AD and few drops of laroxyl for nerves pain… 

You right, there is very very few people who arrived to be med free after so many years of drugs. How can we be on WD and work and keep a happy family ? You can’t I’m afraid. 
‘I will try again to reduce but I will try 5%. I discussed with people who took for decades AD, they are meds free but kept so many problems on everyday basis. 
are we getting better one day? I don’t know. 
I never had depression before AD just anxiety from smoking pot. AD ruined my life ! 

 

1999-2002 Seropram 20mg, 2002-2004 Paxil 10mg; 2004-2012 Paxil 20mg, 2012-2013 Effexor 75mg, 2013-2018 Paxil 20mg, 2018-2019 Effexor 75mg, 2019-2021 Paxil 20mg, 2021-present Lexapro 5mg

10-2022 Lexapro 4,5mg + Fish oil + Magnesium, 06-25-2022 Lexapro 4mg + fish oil + Magnesium, 07-23-2022 Lexapro 3.5mg + fish oil + magnesium 

08-23-2022 Lexapro 3.2mg + fish oil + magnesium 

10-13-2022 Lexapro 3mg + fish oil + magnesium

01-01-2023 Lexapro 2,9mg + fish oil + magnesium (insomnia + night anxiety + anxiety) 

01-20-2023 Lexapro 3mg + fish oil + magnesium 

02-11-2023 Lexapro 5mg (no fish oil - no magnesium)

 

Had to take one prazepam (10mg) in night January22nd 2023 

Had to take one prarepam (10mg) in night February 10th 2023

Prazepam if needed in case of panic attack

     
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How long did it take you to recover?

2000-Venlafaxine 150 mg and Olanzapine 10 mg started

2012- Venlafaxine(tapered off) to Sertraline 150 mg until 2021, added mirtazapine 30 mg until 2019

2018-2023, Oct- Pregabalin, started 150 mg to 600 mg

2019- Diazepam started 6mg

2022- July-restart mirtazapine(unsuccessful) Oct- ECT X 12, Zopliclone 7.5 mg start- present

2023- January, olanzapine decreased to 7.5 mg, Lorazepam 1 mg X 2 weeks, Diazepam increased- 20 mg, some tapering to June-Diazepam 10 mg

March- Agomelatine added-25 mg

October 9th, 2023 present meds bolded

 

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My lowest point was Mar 2018.  I’d say I started feeling human again around Jan 2019 after a 3.5 yr journey through hell.  From there it was baby steps in healing each week, month, etc.  I think I’m as healed as I’m going to be today and I’ll take it.  The good news to everybody suffering:  when you’re not in WD, your brain seems to forget as a protective mechanism.  I literally don’t remember some of the most horrific elements of WD until my wife reminds me how far I’ve come.  

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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Have you been able to work during your journey ? 
can you say now that you drug free im symptoms free, i sleep again like before ? I eat again like before ? Libido is back ? 
 

1999-2002 Seropram 20mg, 2002-2004 Paxil 10mg; 2004-2012 Paxil 20mg, 2012-2013 Effexor 75mg, 2013-2018 Paxil 20mg, 2018-2019 Effexor 75mg, 2019-2021 Paxil 20mg, 2021-present Lexapro 5mg

10-2022 Lexapro 4,5mg + Fish oil + Magnesium, 06-25-2022 Lexapro 4mg + fish oil + Magnesium, 07-23-2022 Lexapro 3.5mg + fish oil + magnesium 

08-23-2022 Lexapro 3.2mg + fish oil + magnesium 

10-13-2022 Lexapro 3mg + fish oil + magnesium

01-01-2023 Lexapro 2,9mg + fish oil + magnesium (insomnia + night anxiety + anxiety) 

01-20-2023 Lexapro 3mg + fish oil + magnesium 

02-11-2023 Lexapro 5mg (no fish oil - no magnesium)

 

Had to take one prazepam (10mg) in night January22nd 2023 

Had to take one prarepam (10mg) in night February 10th 2023

Prazepam if needed in case of panic attack

     
Link to comment

At my worst, I was hospitalized for 2 weeks and took 9 weeks off of work in Mar 2018 to live at a wellness center which saved my life.  Yes to everything (food, sleep, libido, etc.).  I’m careful not to characterize some of my issues as WD symptoms.  I’ve come to accept that some “symptoms” are part of who I am (a person with anxiety) and “normal.”

21 years of daily SSRI use in total...

Paxil                                                                                                                                                 1995-1998

Zoloft (50 mg)                                                                                                                                 1998-2002

Lexapro (10 mg)                                                                                                                              2002-2015    (**August 2015, Lexapro “stopped working" after near death of my 1.5 yr. old son**)

Lexapro (15/20 mg) - increasing dose only made SEs worse                                                     Nov 2015 - Mar 2016

Zoloft (25/50 mg) - made derealization worse                                                                            Mar 2016 - Jul 2016

Celexa (20 mg) - made symptoms worse                                                                                    Oct 2016 - Jan 2017

Remeron (7.5 mg) - helped me eat and sleep for 4 nights, then went bad                               Jan 2018 (stopped after 2 weeks)

Lamictal (5.0 mg) - horrific withdrawal                                                                                        Jan 2018 - Oct 2020

TODAY - 100% DRUG FREE 

(Trialed Prozac, Effexor, Wellbutrin, Cymbalta - severe reaction, couldn't tolerate longer than a few days)

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