Iggy131313 Posted July 4, 2013 Share Posted July 4, 2013 Oh my, how WONDERFUL, please tell us more, I could cry for you, is this the best you have felt do far? damaged by citalopram - severe suffering for 3 years now...no improvement akathsiia, pgad, dp/dr, terror, and so SO many more daily severly disabled and lost everything Link to comment
Christiana Posted July 5, 2013 Author Share Posted July 5, 2013 Much heartfelt thanks Narcissus, UnfoldingSky, and Iggy! Yes, Iggy, this is the best I've felt in a very, very long time. I'm trying not to think about the if's, and's, why's, and but's. I'm just really soaking up the newfound relief I'm having, right now. It's been a few days and so far, so good. I was up late last night, but I slept really well and without having any vivid dreams, which I have quite often. That, in itself, is an improvement. I took another 2 teaspoons of kefir today and without any issues, thus far. It's hard to say whether or not this is contributing to me feeling better or not, but I think it's, most likely, not capable of having a big effect on me, at the dose I'm taking it at anyway, although I could be wrong. They've cancelled the annual city fireworks show here tonight, because it's supposed to rain. I guess, a lot of people have now decided to go buy their own and shoot them off. It's not even dark here yet nor is it raining, but just the mere sound of so many of them going off around me is upping my anxiety a bit. I'm just hoping it will start raining soon, so it will stop and I'll be able to sleep good again tonight. Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted July 5, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted July 5, 2013 This is wonderful news, Christiana! I'm very happy for you! http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Great news! Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Christiana Posted July 5, 2013 Author Share Posted July 5, 2013 Thank you so much, Tezza and Barb! Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Gem Posted July 5, 2013 Share Posted July 5, 2013 Really so pleased to hear this Christiana! Fantastic news )) You really deserve this so much. All the best, Gem I came off Seroxat in August 2005 after a 4 month taper. I was initially prescibed a benzo for several months and then Prozac for 5 years and after that, Seroxat for 3 years and 9 months. "It's like in the great stories Mr.Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer." Samwise Gamgee, Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers Link to comment
Christiana Posted July 6, 2013 Author Share Posted July 6, 2013 Thank you so much, Gem! Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Christiana Posted July 6, 2013 Author Share Posted July 6, 2013 My very first window, which I, finally, experienced, for a few days, has now closed on me. After suffering really bad for years, from being in a constant wave, it really did feel so nice. It came out of nowhere too, thus I was quite surprised. Now, I'm right back to feeling how I was though, before it happened, and don't know why. Maybe it was the booming sounds of all of the fireworks going off all around me, for the past several days, which was causing me some anxiety, even though I was trying hard to ignore them? Or maybe it just happened, the way it was supposed to happen, regardless? I doubt I'll ever know. All I know is, I woke up with awful anxiety today and it's only just a little bit better, as I write this. I'm so sad. I know, I'll have other windows, in the future, but being forced to deal with the non-linear way the brain heals, with windows and waves and not knowing how long either is going to last, is the hardest thing I've ever had to endure in my entire life. <sigh> I really think, me experiencing my very first window now is a turning point for me though, as I now know my body IS capable of feeling much better. For that, I'm very grateful for. I guess, all I can do now is just endure the wave I'm back in and wait for my next window to come. I sure hope I can eventually settle down enough to get a decent night of sleep tonight. Ugh! In the meantime, even when I'm in a bad wave, I feel like I should just force myself, at least, a few times a week, to go somewhere that's peaceful though, but I'm not sure if that would just put even more stress on my already hypersensitive nervous system and hinder my healing or not though? Although, right now, my mind and body just seem to want to rest in quiet surroundings, regardless of whether I can actually sleep or not. I just don't know what to do anymore. Reading a good book in a quiet park is the only place I can even think of to go to, but I can't withstand high heat for very long. If you can think of some peaceful places I can go to, where I don't have to expose myself to hot temperatures, please let me know. I'll, at least, if I can, possibly, try them and see how I feel afterwards. Thank you! May your own windows be long and waves short! Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Christiana Posted July 7, 2013 Author Share Posted July 7, 2013 Well, today was better than yesterday. My window has closed and I'm back to feeling the way that I was, but, at least, the awful increase in anxiety, which I suffered so bad from yesterday, has left me. I think it was, most likely, all of the fireworks going off all around me, for so long, over several days, which lead to my increase in anxiety. That's the only thing, which I can think of, which could have caused it, especially since I've improved, in just one day, on that level. I skipped my dose of kefir yesterday, since I was feeling so nauseated from the anxiety, but resumed taking my 2 teaspoons per day today, and still without any issues, so far. I think I do have some issues with candida and am now experiencing some die off, but it's definitely tolerable. In that regard, I do believe it's helping me and plan to increase it by 1 teaspoon per day sometime in the near future, but I'm not in any hurry. I really think the key to me being able to tolerate taking any supplements, which I could very well benefit from, is to start by taking very small doses of them and wait a while, as in a couple of weeks or maybe even more, depending upon my reaction to them, just to gauge what my reaction is going to be like, before I increase my dosage. I've ingested a blend of omega 3-6-9 fatty acids, as part of me drinking Ensure, due to my lack of appetite, just to give me some well needed nutrition, which hasn't bothered me, so I think I'll seek out a good brand of a blend of omega 3-6-9's or fish oil to try taking next. I'm in no hurry though and certainly plan to do my homework first. Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Gem Posted July 8, 2013 Share Posted July 8, 2013 Hi Christiana Glad to hear that the anxiety has improved for you, it sounds like it could well have been the fireworks exacerbating things. I think things like this can be over-stimulating to those in withdrawal and over-activate a sensitive nervous system. It sounds wise to go carefully with the supplements, good luck with the Omegas. As for peaceful places, I don't know if there are any woodland areas near you at all, as this could provide shade from the heat. I' m not sure if this would suit you, but what about libraries or museums during non-busy periods? It sounds like a great idea for you to get out when and if you can, and to get into the habit of going somewhere & possibly forming a kind of flexible routine. This could help pave the way for other activities when you are more healed in the future. Although I do think it's important to be really gentle on yourself, go easy & not push too hard if you need rest and are not up to it. This is also without a doubt the hardest thing I have ever experienced. I was so sorry your window was fleeting. But a very good sign to know that the capacity to heal is there. Wishing you many more windows and much healing. Gem xxx I came off Seroxat in August 2005 after a 4 month taper. I was initially prescibed a benzo for several months and then Prozac for 5 years and after that, Seroxat for 3 years and 9 months. "It's like in the great stories Mr.Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines it'll shine out the clearer." Samwise Gamgee, Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers Link to comment
Christiana Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 I'll reply to you Gem, as well as everyone else who has responded to my posts, plus reply to some posts made by several people here really needing help to try to help them too, since I've been away, as soon as I'm feeling up to it. Just a short note here, since I'm tired and feeling rather lousy, so I'm going to try to get some rest... Surprisingly, after a few days passed, my window opened up again. It felt so very nice too! Unfortunately, it suddenly slammed shut on me and when it did, it hit me really hard. During that time, I'd started my period, uncommonly with a few less problems, but after a few days into it, that's when I all of the sudden went into a wave and have been in it ever since. Actually, I'm just now coming up for air, so to say. I hope, in the next few days, at least, I'll feel more able to come back here and participate some more. We're all in this together, so please stay strong, keep fighting, and know that, no matter what you're going through right now, it will get better everybody! My thoughts and prayers are with each and every one of you! May your windows get bigger and waves smaller! Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Christiana Posted July 24, 2013 Author Share Posted July 24, 2013 Just a lil note to myself... I keep forgetting I really need to update my signature. I'll try to remember to do that soon! Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Eskimoknow Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 It sounds to me like God put a medication here to make everything feel alright and help you out. Oh, wait...what? He did? Marijuana. Link to comment
Eskimoknow Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 If you're in a medical or legal state. You sound like you need to be. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 24, 2013 Administrator Share Posted July 24, 2013 Eskimoknow, those look like random posts. Sorry, Christiana. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
johnson Posted October 10, 2013 Share Posted October 10, 2013 Hi Christiana, I read your story, any updates on how you are doing these days? Link to comment
Christiana Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 I'm so sorry I've been away for so long! I love and miss all of you! I think of and pray for all of you daily! I truly do! I hope this post finds each and every one of you either recovered or on a tolerable road to your recovery! So much has happened, since I last posted! It hasn't been positive, thus has kept me feeling worse than what I was, in quite a bad way. I wish I could say otherwise, but I just keep fighting the good fight, for my own recovery, no matter how hard or long! I'm still dealing with many horrible life living issues, per say. I think I've pretty much accepted, as well as I possibly can, how living with protracted withdrawal has so profoundly affected my day to day life. It's just the people and circumstances I'm surrounded by, which continue to plague me and cause me further distress. It is what it is though and I do try my very best each and every day to make the best of my situation! I'm trying so hard to not live in fear of all of the unknowns, which come with me being in protracted withdrawal, especially for so, so long, with no end in sight, plus my horrible heightened sensitivities to drugs, foods, and supplements, as well as the outside world. On top of that, knowing and experiencing how easily I can go from feeling somewhat better, in such a way that I can find it to be as tolerable as it can be, to easily and quickly feeling so bad, in such a way that I can find myself barely able to get out of bed and take care of my basic needs in life, especially when I live alone and have only a little help and support. I can honestly say, I've certainly learned many great life lessons and am wiser for it though! The finest beauty, I see, from some of the most simple things, and the greatfulness I feel, for the smallest acts of kindness, touch me in such profound good ways now! As I continue to fight this waging war inside my mind and body, I cling to these such things to keep pushing forward every day! In September, I had to have 2 abcessed teeth extracted. The drugs involved, for the procedure, magnified my withdrawal symptoms really bad! Halloween, Thanksgiving, my birthday, Christmas, and my mom's birthday came and went, as I still suffered badly, but was, finally, right before Christmas, starting to have some days where I was feeling a bit better, but nowhere near what I was feeling like, beforehand. Right after Christmas though, I woke up, on a Saturday, with a 103.9 fever, feeling like I'd been badly beaten up with a baseball bat or run over by a huge truck, per say. I had the full blown swine flu and literally felt like I was going to die! New Year's Eve and Day passed, but I was so out of it, I hardly even noticed! Finally, after about a month, I was starting to come around some, but then I quickly came down with an upper respiratory infection. Luckily, it didn't hit me near as hard, but it was still really bad. The end of January, I had to go back to the dentist and have 3 more abcessed teeth removed! Shortly after that, the first part of February, I came down with a severe upper respiratory infection! Valentine's Day came and went, just like all of the other holidays and special days, of course. I cried and was so depressed, because I couldn't enjoy any of them, with me feeling so severely ill! I, somehow, managed to see my doctor, yesterday! I had no choice but to muster up all the energy and strength I had left within me! I have sinus drainage, with some infection, fluid in both ears, and pleurisy - basically another upper respiratory infection! It was severe, but it's not as bad as it was or could be, but it's still concerning. Right now, for the next week, I'm going to do everything I can to fight it off. I just hope and pray I don't have to end up taking any drugs to get rid of it! My already hypersensitive nervous system has caused me to have a very bad relapse with my withdrawal symptoms, as is! They will only get worse and I'll be recovering from them for months, if I have to take any drugs! Please, if you pray, please say a prayer for me! I desperately need it! I really need some hope and encouragement, to not have insomnia, but instead be able to sleep extra hours peacefully, and to be able to eat a lot of nutritious food - all of the blessings I can possibly get, for sure! Thank you very much, if you pray for me! I pray that all of you stay well! Love, Christiana Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Christiana Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 Oh, I forgot to say something else! Last time I saw my doctor, I gave them this website's address and asked them to visit here, so they could read some posts and learn more about prolonged withdrawal. I wasn't sure, if they would or not, but, yesterday, when I saw them, I brought the subject up and they said they have! When I asked them what they thought, they said those that were unhealthy before withdrawal are the ones that will take the longest to recover. I'm betting they did some research beyond this website too. Their attitude toward the subject felt positively different! Not only do they believe it exists and how hard it can be, they also believe in recovery! What do you think about it? Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Christiana Posted February 19, 2014 Author Share Posted February 19, 2014 P.S. I feel good that I've educated my doctor and I thank you, Alto, plus all of the moderators here, who keep this website running, for making it possible! They may not have a fix for withdrawal being long and hard, for some people, but they believe it exists (not that they didn't before, but now they've done more research, which has been an eye-opening experience for them) and I think they will now be more supportive of the situation - will think twice before prescribing them, especially to someone who has had issues with taking or discontinuing them in the past; how taking or discontinuing them could affect someone who is not in the best of health; issues someone could be having while taking or discontinuing them, as well as after discontinuing them. Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus mammaP Posted February 19, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2014 Hi Christiana, I can't believe you have been through all that and are here telling us about it I am so sorry you have been so ill for so long and are still deep in the throes of it all. My heart goes out to you and I hope that you start to feel better very soon. Well done for educating the doctors, one by one they will get the message in the end. Hugs from MammaP x **I am not a medical professional, if in doubt please consult a doctor with withdrawal knowledge. Different drugs occasionally (mostly benzos) 1976 - 1981 (no problem) 1993 - 2002 in and out of hospital. every type of drug + ECT. Staring with seroxat 2002 effexor. Tapered March 2012 to March 2013, ending with 5 beads. Withdrawal April 2013 . Reinstated 5 beads reduced to 4 beads May 2013 Restarted taper Nov 2013 OFF EFFEXOR Feb 2015 Tapered atenolol and omeprazole Dec 2013 - May 2014 Tapering tramadol, Feb 2015 100mg , March 2015 50mg July 2017 30mg. May 15 2018 25mg Taking fish oil, magnesium, B12, folic acid, bilberry eyebright for eye pressure. My story http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4199-hello-mammap-checking-in/page-33 Lesson learned, slow down taper at lower doses. Taper no more than 10% of CURRENT dose if possible Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted February 19, 2014 Administrator Share Posted February 19, 2014 Christiana, do you think you can recommend these doctors for others who need help tapering? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 Christiana, I'm sorry you've been through so much recently and for many years. I am amazed at the grace, courage and positivity you hold onto as well as encouragement you offer to others. I'm sorry I never clarified my endocrine condition for you. There's been a lot of debate about it since it was diagnosed during withdrawal. I reacted badly to hydrocortisone and another adrenal supplement. I do wonder if hypoadrenalism is adding to my severe low mood, hopelessness, and incessant negativity. Thank you for your kind offer of help with the endocrine issues. Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Nikki Posted February 19, 2014 Share Posted February 19, 2014 I am so sorry that you have had so many crisis and yet you sound so pleasant. Bless your heart. Are you able to live the family members who can help you out? You can obtain health benefits thru the government marketplace and dental insurance too. I wish you the very best.....Hugs Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Christiana Posted February 20, 2014 Author Share Posted February 20, 2014 Thank you so much, mammaP! I don't know Alto, but I will sure ask. If they agree, I will certainly let you know. Thank you very much, Barbarannamated! If you need any help with your endocrine issues, as I have hypothyroidism and hypoadreanalism both, just let me know. Thank you very much Nikki! My mom helps me some, although I wish she would/could more (long story there) and my new neighbor has recently started helping me a little bit, but they aren't in the best of health either. Other than them, here is all i have, as far as true understanding of what I'm going through. I think I'm FINALLY going to have some medical insurance soon! I got a letter saying so, but haven't got a card yet. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Lexy Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 Christiana I just read your thread and will keep you in my prayers. Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg. Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45 Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89 Link to comment
Christiana Posted February 20, 2014 Author Share Posted February 20, 2014 Thank you very much Lexy! Jun-Jul '09 (approx 7 wks) - 5mg/day Lexapro (drug rep samples) given by family dr for long, unended, very stressful divorce Each dose taken makes sicker, think it's just body adjusting, have no clue it's severe adverse reaction at time Aug '09 - pharmacy gets dr rx for, insurance won't pay, I can't afford, dr changes to Celexa, decline to take, cold turkey, necessary blessing in disguise, in hindsight at least Gradually feel some better over 1-2 wks, 3rd wk horrific withdrawal symptoms start & build, see doctor & start researching internet about what's happening, figure it out, 60-70+ severe, frightening, & debilitating symptoms emerge, realize nothing can do to feel better easily or quickly, feel like & think I'm dying, reach point where doctor gets home healthcare & have to call friend to stay with & take care of, friend abandons about 1 yr & lose home healthcare 1st yr symptoms extremely severe, 2nd yr just somewhat better, now into 3rd yr symptoms don't seem much better, still causing horrible suffering, wax & wane in severity, sometimes almost as severe as when started, practically homebound, mostly bedbound, very hard completing simple tasks, symptoms definitely much worse 7-10 days/mo around menstrual cycle Have lost vehicle & home, plus loved cat & dog had for long time, was homeless several months last winter, lived out of car, living in undesirable gov't subsidized housing now causing many troubles, have no medical & very little rx insurance, disability check & food stamps aren't enough to provide basic needs, lack any reliable personal support anymore, very isolated & all alone, have many pressing stressful things must be done, can barely or unable to complete without help don't have, even ones to help situation some, don't even have finances to get urgent necessary needed help required to help situation & self, social services is frequently visiting now, fear being polydrugged, losing everything, put into nursing home, hope & pray someone will help to keep from happening, don't know what else to do, still way to sick to return to work & college, believe I will recover, in the meantime tho have no answers except to plead for help, hope & pray someone, anyone, who truly cares does soon In 32nd mo now still very bad SSRI protracted withdrawal, have only seen few signs of healing since 2nd yr passed, somehow manage to keep fighting, afraid time is running out for best tho & situation only going to get worse trying to survive on own if don't get help from someone This pretty much summarizes what 49 little round white pills (if I recall correctly) have done to my life & future for now, my before & after life are drastically opposite now, both my situation & self, if only I'd known their potential, a little bit too late now tho huh?.?.?...hindsight really is 20/20 isn't it?.?.?... I pray God blesses and helps each and every one of us, here and elsewhere, going through this nightmare. Amen, amen, amen. Link to comment
Wolfhound Posted February 20, 2014 Share Posted February 20, 2014 I admire your strength and perseverance. Hugely. Put on trazadone for 8 weeks. Psychic akathisia started on 100 mg. Not a single doctor believed me telling me it is all anxiety in my head. Terrible suicidal urges. Got voluntary hospitalised. Acknoledged adverse reaction, put me off cold turkey. Instalated mirtazapine to block the reaction of trazadone. 5 weeks on mirtazapine.acathisia worsened, suicidal, homicidal urges. Nobody believed. Finally they stopped mirtazapine cold turkey. My heighest dose of trazadone was 200 mg, of mirtazapine 30 mg. Since the c/t, suicidal, acathisia continuing. tried promethazine for sleep. Tried atarax. Currently taking klonopin for 10 days. Good for sleep, but my condition worsening. Unable to tell if it is klonopin or a bad wave. In the former hospital i took twice gabapentin. It should be all my medication. i was offered promethazin for sleep 25 mg and also small amount of quetiapine. Both are antipsychotics, even if ptomethszin very weak. Terribly afraid. Link to comment
btdt Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 I have read most of your replies to post must say it affected me and I had to limit the amount I read there is just too much in there that brings back a lot of bad memories for me. That is not good for me...so I had to do a lighter read of the subject matter. This is a long and hard battle. You are so right when you say life does not stop when we are in withdrawal and many things affect us including our health falling apart. Life goes on without us. I know that and try not to focus on it too much as it takes me to a bad place I don't want to be... I guess this process has taught me to use denial better than most. I know some would say that denial is a bad thing but I think it is a survival tool. There will be times when the plate is so loaded the only way to get thru it is to push that plate away and look inwards or someplace else of your choosing. I find it important to not only have these internal places to visit or a tool box of distraction but to work hard to establish them when things are at their best... I know last thing we want to do but very important to survival. Small things have pulled me thru.. relaxation cds or utube ... epson salts on hand for baths... food I know I can eat... when push comes to pull I can always eat steamed carrots ... ect something healthy you like... I am sure you have found some of these things already. For a good part of this I did not watch the news or watch any shows with violence.. if this leaves me with cartoons and little house on the prairie reruns so be it.. there is more than that to choose from but limiting things that through the system off was a long term must for me. I read you other post about the folks who live around you being Aholes... I don't have advice on that but I am sure there is an answer I just don't know what it is... here is my advice about going out once your out of the place and the inhabitants go away to a park or beach to enjoy you day. Take all you need to make you comfy. Digestion.. recommend the fatty liver diet.. and try a cup of warm water a day with half a lemon great for digestion. I can handle it most days if it bothers me one day i go to have the lemon ... I squeeze the lemon into another container first then use half in the water. I can't take most drugs either have reactions including reactions to dental freezing. Have reacted to foods too. This has been a lot for me to process so I will leave it for now and come back if I get any other ideas I think might help you... tapping I suggested on Mamma P's home thread still recommend it... Peace to you. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 one more thing I had a severe adverse reaction to prozac first Ad I took for less than a month... nobody had a clue in those days that a person could have a reaction like this I was given the prozac for pain thought I just went crazy never suspected the drug... basically did not know it could affect my mind and stopped taking it as pain in my leg was the least of my problems after the reaction to prozac hit it was years later i learned the drug was prozac and what a severe adverse reactions consisted of... 18 or more years later actually... sorry you here... sorry any of us are... it lasted years till i finally went to a pain clinic and was taken off pain pills and put on amitriptyline... which is no picnic either but at I slept thru the night for the first time in years after I started it... I am not suggesting you do this .... for me it lead to more and more drugs. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted February 21, 2014 Share Posted February 21, 2014 We have a lot in common perhaps the fact we react badly to the drug all round is the reason we have such long and horrid withdrawal from them. Just an idea that popped into my head. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted March 2, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 2, 2014 Christiana asked me to make a post for her. She is asking that all who will to keep her in your thoughts and prayers. She's been struggling with WD syndrome and has akathisia very bad and has had a flu like illness for a couple of months. On top of everything she lost her younger brother Monday morning, suddenly. Send healing vibes.... http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 Christiana, I can't imagine... I'm so sorry. Much love coming your way. Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
btdt Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 So sorry for your loss I hope those who love you stick by your side and wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted March 2, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted March 2, 2014 I'm so sorry for your loss Christiana, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted March 2, 2014 Member Share Posted March 2, 2014 my heart goes out to you. I hope you find peace. I send prayers to you. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Lexy Posted March 2, 2014 Share Posted March 2, 2014 I am so sorry. Peace and Love Started Effexor August 2012 Sept'12-150mg=extreme anxiety Oct'12 cut half-75mg severe wds Feb 2013 68.5mg. Mar'13- 65mg. Apr'13-59mg. May'13-57mg. June '13-52mg Aug'13 49.75mg. Sep'13-48.75. Nov'13-47mg Dec'13-45..5mg May 2014 42mg. Jun'14 40mg (depressive mood started). Aug'14 -40mg/ started brintellix 2.5mg Oct '14 -39 Nov'14 36.89 Dec'14 34.45 Jan 2015- 31 Feb'15 29mg. Mar'15 26.72. Apr'15 24.48. May'15 22.31mg. Jun'15 20.30mg Aug'15-18.89. Oct'15 16.96. Nov/16- 16.10. Dec/15- 15mg Jan 2016-14.22. May'16 11.45. Aug'16-9.60. Sep/16- 8.88mg. Oct/16- 8.39mg. Nov/16- 8.13. Dec/16- 7.89 Link to comment
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