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when you are off the drug, how do you know that you will stay off it for good?


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just wondered why some people  a couple years later, or even 5, come back taking them again.

i hope these will be my last taper.


for people who have tapered slowly and wrote a success story, how do they know that they are out of the wood and won't need to be on them again?

june 2014 to feb  2015- on xanax 0.25 to 1mg/day- then CT - jan 2016 - panic attack, went on 3.75mg remeron to sleep march 2016- CT remeron (because it caused me tinnitus)- deep depression, couldn't sleep because of  intrusive Tinnitus

april to june 2016- valium 4mg, xanax as needed, lunesta 3mg

june 2016 - valium 4mg, lexapro 10mg

oct 2016- valium 2mg, lexapro 10mg- hold

march 2017- started daily micro liquid taper of valium and lex- -taper speed 0.0033mg valium daily and 0.033mg lex daily

may 2018- valium 1mg, lexapro 2.4mg - i had to slow down the rate of my daily micro taper considerably

LAST dose of Lexapro: 0.05mg on 05/17/19

LAST dose of valium: 0.04mg on 08/18/19

April 26th 2020- intense panic attack that lasted 4 days, akatisia, 0 sleep- suicidal, almost hospitalized- took rescue doses over 2 days- total: 1.5mg xanax, 18mg valium, 2x5mg lexapro




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Good questions. I think people get put on these drugs because there's an underlying condition such as me being Severely Bipolar and have a Severe Anxiety issue. As an example. Since 2011 and up to a year ago I was on 60mg OxyContin. At first it worked then I kept having to up my dose. Then last year I got to the maximum dose my Doctor would prescribe. Then I started getting withdrawal symptoms between doses. I felt better after the dose. I knew it was time to quit because it was making me sick and did nothing for me. In 3 weeks I was 100% off the opioids. I was smart and got rid of my leftovers. I still get cravings today. However, not having anything is easier because I can't fall back into taking OxyContin.


In 2003 I had to do a cold turkey withdrawal from both Klonipin and Xanax at the same time. It put me in the hospital for awhile. I told myself at that time I'd never do another Benzo. However, a few months ago I was so desperate for relief from anxiety caused by Zyprexa withdrawal that I was put on Valium. They didn't help so I tossed them. I did a similar thing with Ambien.


I think (not an expert) that once a person gets off a medication, that there can be a rebound effect (as my Doctor calls it) where the original symptoms return after you get off a drug. There are other things that can be done to help minimize these underlying issues. I am on Gabapentin for both nerve pain from the 4 fused discs in my spine and also for anxiety. Once I got off the Benzos in 2003, my Doctor upped the Gabapentin to help with both issues. Exercise has also helped my a lot with anxiety, sleep, and back pain. I can honestly say that it would be easy to fall back into taking Klonipin and OxyContin. Feel bad, take a pill, and feel better. However, they're bandaids.


I did't start worrying about side effects of my meds until I started taking Zyprexa when the weight initially piled on. Then last year when I had my physical and my blood work was terrible I had to quit Zyprexa. I don't think I'll ever be able to get off everything because I'm so mentally ill (I'm very intelligent but have mental illness). What my goal is now is the take the bare minimum number and dose of mediations and to not fall back into what I call is drug abuse. I think somebody has to have a very strong will and keep that will to get off medication. After the withdrawal phase, to me, it's more of a psychological challenge with minimal physical challenge. I exercise and keep my ultimate goal in mind. I am not perfect by any means. However, I do my best to stay on course.


Good luck

December 2017: Zyprexa (30mg)  Gabapentin (1800mg)  Wellbutrin (450mg) Lamicital (450mg)

Feb 2018: Gabapentin (1800mg)  Wellbutrin (450mg) Lamicital (450mg)

March 2018: Gabapentin (1800mg)  Wellbutrin (450mg) Valium (10mg) Ambien (10mg) Lamicital (450mg)

April 2018: Gabapentin (1800mg)  Wellbutrin (450mg) Lamicital (450mg) (Dropped Ambien, Valium no help)

May 2018:  Gabapentin (1800mg)  Wellbutrin (37.5mg)  Lamicital (450mg) Trazodone (150mg) CBD (20mg)

Present: Gabapentin (600mg)  Prazosin (10mg)  Lamicital  Trazodone (125mg)

1969 - Present: 80 Electro Convulsive Treatments, Medication changes (Too many drugs to list prior to Dec 2017) Klonipin/Xanax CT 2003

Wellbutrin Taper: Started approx  Apr 2018 450mg, 300mg, 225mg, 150mg, 112.5mg, 75mg, 37.5mg Held each dose approx 1 week per Doctor, June 5 2018 OFF WELLBUTRIN

Zyprexa Taper: Nov 2017 30mg, Dec 1 2017 20mg, Dec 11 2017 15mg, Dec 22 2017 10mg, Jan 3 2018 7.5mg, Jan 14 2018 5mg, Jan 25 2018 3.75mg, Feb 6 2018 2.5mg, Feb 16 2018, 1.25mg, Feb 25 2018 0.625mg, March 4 2018 OFF Zyprexa!!!!

Trazodone Taper: April 2018-150mg, May 25 2018-100mg, June 1 2018-50mg,  Bump June 2 2018-125mg HOLD



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