Brhoom: help, please ...

[Brhoom]

Moderator Note: link to benzo forum thread - Brhoom - Benzo Taper

 

Hello everyone.

I'm having hard time finding the right help.

I'll try to write concisely.

My story is that on 2/5/2018 I had sore muscles and I took Xanax0.5mg on my friends advice that it's a muscle relaxant, and I didn't know what Xanax was at the time.

I took it for almost ten days multiple times a day until I found relief then I stopped. 

Almost the second day I started having multiple problems for the first time in my life including, feeling emotional bluntness, fear, headaches, nightmares, shortness of breath with a feeling of choking. This happened for almost five days until I found out that I was taking xanax and that it's a psychiatric drug then I took it again for two days which left me symptoms-free then I stopped and symptoms got worse the second time I started getting the feeling of depersonalization of a dream-like state, feeling that I'm going mad all the day, feeling that everything in my life just doesn't matter, feeling that I'm retarded, feeling that something is horribly wrong with me, feeling that people are like dolls, and that I feel strange when I move and when I speak like I am not the one doing it.

All these symptoms developed over the course of 2 months since I stopped the Xanax, and now they are at their worst.

 

I found out that I'm doing it all wrong, and that I need have to reinstate the xanax until I feel better then switch over to kolonpin and use paxil with it, and start tapering the kolonpin and increasing the paxil.

 

And, here is the question, should I follow this advice. I asked many people about my situation who kept telling me that I should just wait and ride it out which I do believe is a horrible idea that is only making me worse every day which is what I did and today it's been 2 months since I stopped and the depersonalization is worse than ever it's like I'm mentally dead.

 

Please, help.

Edited July 26, 2018 by Shep
added username to title and link to benzo thread

[Shep]

Hi, Brhoom.

 

Welcome to SA.

 

I moved your post from the benzo forum to the main intro forum. We like for members to have an introductory thread in the Main Intro thread section first before starting a thread in the Benzo Forum.  

 

Reinstatements involving benzos differ from antidepressants and other psych drugs because there is a shorter window of opportunity. For benzos, it's best to reinstate 2 - 4 weeks after stopping. For more, please see:

 

Notes on benzo reinstatement

 

About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms

 

Other factors to consider when deciding on reinstating are how intense your symptoms are, including: 

• Are you able to work?
• Take care of family or other responsibilities?
• How is your sleep?

You mention Paxil - are you currently taking Paxil and / or any other drug or supplement? Did the muscle pain that led you to take Xanax resolve or did have to use other meds? 

 

Please let us know your history with these drugs and we will be able to better help you make the right decision. Reinstatements of benzos this far out are risky, but if you are having severe symptoms, it may be worth a try, but we do need to know more about your background. 

 

Please add a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

• Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
• This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

 

Please continue to use this thread to document your symptoms and to ask plenty of questions. 

[Brhoom]

My previous history.

 

 

I had OCD in 2016 and I took fluvoxamine melate 50mg for it for two weeks and stopped 

 

And now, I'm depersonalized from xanax withdrawal that I took only for 16 days.

I thought I would be better and I was almost 100%healed after a month from when I stopped then now I'm 65days off the drug and depersonalization has never been worse, and the other symptoms I have are just nightmares, and eye floaters.

I now have 10% to almost nonexistent emotions and the number is decreasing every day.

Please help.

 

And if I have to reinstate how should I do it.

[SkyBlue]

Please do follow Shep's instructions, above, about the drug signature. It's really important. 

 

Please add a signature.  Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. 

• Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. 
• Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) 
• Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. 
• Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. 
• A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. 
• This is a direct link to your signature:  Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature.

[Brhoom]

Fluvoxamine maleate 50mg, taken in 2016/2/1 to 2016/2/14

 

Xanax 0.5mg, taken in 2018/5/2 to 2018/5/22 - I stopped without tapering.

 

Diagnosis and symptoms:

Benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome.

1- depersonalization.

2- nightmares.

3- eye floaters.

 

My doctor told me that I should reinstate to dizpam 5mg.

[Shep]

Brhoom, thank you for the additional information. Since you are working soley with a benzo, I've copied some of your intro topic and placed it in your new benzo thread. 

 

Please use this thread for your benzo information:

 

Brhoom - Benzo Taper

 

And continue to post here on your main intro thread for issues such as using supplements and for general support, as the benzo area doesn't get a lot of visitors. 

[Betsy]

Hi

 

Im sorry you are in this situation. One reason I don’t take drugs from friends. I personally don’t think adding Paxil to help with your taper is a good idea. I took it once briefly and all it did was cause me problems. 

 

I think if you reinstate and do a reasonable taper it might turn out okay. Luckily you have not been on it that long so it shouldn’t drag out. I am on an AD and while it helps me sleep it’s just one more drug to get off. Cleaner is always better. Good luck to you.

 

betsy

[Brhoom]

Guys I appreciate your empathy.

I just wanna tell you about my situation at the moment.

I finally found an understanding doctor or say a (benzo-wise) doctor who told me
That I should reinstate to 5mg dizpam and then taper off and the withdrawalwill be a lot easier.

At the same time, I'm afraid that if I reinstated, That it would be only a couple of days then I'll be thrown back into withdrawal. Which will absolutely make me suicidal more than ever, and by suicidal I mean I don't care If I'm gonna end my life even now.

Current symptoms:

1- depersonalization worse than ever that everyday keeps me dive even further in it.

2- vivid nightmares that are absolutely unbearable.

3- impaired memory and thinking, I feel retarded and unable to control my movement and speech.

4- complete emotionalessness.

I don't what do right now If you guys can shed some light on my situation, it will be a lot of help, and it might save my life.

[Shep]

Hi, Brhoom, please see my post to you in your new benzo thread: 

 

Brhoom - Benzo Taper

 

Since you are only on a benzo and aren't taking Paxil or any other psych drug, let's continue in the benzo area.

 

Thanks.