HealingPower: Three months, need help - Xanax

[HealingPower]

Moderator note - link to benzo forum thread - HealingPower: Xanax interdose, don't want to go to a ward, please help...

 

Hi! New here, and although I have a science degree, I'm a hot mess.  I need to know how to get stable before I do a Xanax taper, .75. And how on earth to taper.   I was a sporadic user of Xanax .5 for five years after a continuous Prozac and Xanax .5 a night year, back in 2012.  Then I used the same 60 or so pills leftovers for vacations or whatever until May of 2018.  Sometime around May or June of 2018, a couple months ago, I started a new thyroid med that gave me insomnia.  I started using the Xanax every night, OR I would take a Temazepam 30mg (equal to .75-1 mg Xanax).  No idea what a benzo was.  They were my sleep meds.  Never took a benzo during the day, ever.  

 

Well.  I went to the ER one night with a headache, and Satan rocked my world with a dose of anti-psychotic, Compazine. You know, because a Tylenol wouldn't have worked.  Severe symptoms that night I would prefer not to go into.....and the next day......and the next few weeks there was no sleep and fear getting on various FB groups for it.  Someone convinced me I was also dependent on benzos.....so after four days of not taking any, which I've done before no problems, I got a big headache and some sound/light sensitivity in the mornings and confusion and more panic, and I assumed, yes, I was dependent.  Was I, I will never know.  But I am now.  Because I started taking it every single night.  

 

After I started taking it every single night, minus the 1-2 a week Temazepam (I never reinstated that)...I was given advice on a FB group to update the Xanax to account for the Temazepam, so now I'm on .75   ....I stabilized some.  Still having morning panic, general anxiety through the day, but some of that i had before the benzo issue from the Compazine injury.   But then last week or so I started getting interdose withdrawal.  Every night around midnight I would start to get this weird gum pain and back pain.  That would go away with the Xanax at night.  Suddenly it started happening early and early, as early as 4PM, waiting for my 2AM or so Xanax.

I've been floundering ever since.  

 

The past two days I only took .5 at night, and then .25 during the day.  Today I took .5 at night, and then broke up the remainder (.25) into two more doses.   

 

I hated being on it during the day...until I was relieved of some of my panic from the injection during the day, which was nice.  But sure enough, gum pain and severe back pain started up early again tonight.  

 

I don't know what to do.  I have small children.  I've scared myself to no return on those FB groups.  I"m paralyzed with fear.  I think I need to microtaper because I'm damaged from the injection two months ago still.  But I don't understand how to do it, and my scientific brain doesn't allow me to think that shaking up Xanax that is insoluble in water is going to work.  

 

I've lost 27 pounds in 6 weeks because I'm afraid to eat much of anything, because early on, everything I ate brought on rapid heart rate or jelly legs, and plus i've been reading the boards too much.  I only eat like 7 foods.  

On the one hand I think I'm too damaged to start feeling benzo panic plus injury panic.   On the other, I need off this crap fast.  Not fast, but you know what I mean.  

 

I was referred here by a sweet soul who felt for me and my posts on the scary boards.  She said I could find help here.  

 

Anyone please?  My children need me.

 

 

Here is my history, I have no idea how to do a signature line:

2001- first episode of situational depression- Zoloft one year.  Pretty bad brain zaps and some weird stuff coming off of it, I tapered my own way with chunks and bits

2004- Post Partum Dep.  Took Prozac.  Got off easily in a year.

2011- Post Partum Dep.  Tok Prozac and Xanax .5.  Got off both.

2012-2018 Took about 60 Xanax's as needed leftover from above

2017-2018 Took exactly 60 pills of Temazepam 30 mg in one year's time.  Never more than twice a week, more like once every few weeks

June 2018 Started .5 Xanax more than occasionally, but not quite every day. Alternated with an occasional Temazepam, my 'sleep med' from my holistic doctor (THANKS)

Jun 27 2018- was medically injured by a doctor in the ER who gave me Compazine for a headache

 

And here I am.  Taking .75 Xanax for about 2-3 months i have no idea.  I don't sleep thanks to the Satan doc in the ER. 

 

Edited August 22, 2018 by Shep
moved to Intro forum, spacing (ChessieCat), added link to benzo forum thread (Shep)

[Altostrata]

Welcome, HP.

 

Very sorry you're on the drug merry-go-round. Yes, people become dependent on these drugs.

 

What is your daily symptom pattern? Please keep daily notes on paper about your symptoms, when you take your drugs, and their dosages. Use a simple list format with time of day on the left and notation (symptom, drug and dosage) on the right.

[Shep]

Hi, HealingPower.

 

Welcome to SA from me, too.

 

Quote

Middle of July- CT Temazepam and Xanax .5

Four days later, got scared and went back on Xanax .5

Two weeks later, got scared and updosed the Xanax to .75 in case I had been dependent on the occasional Temazepam as per FB group admin.

 

The above quote is from your signature. You may be on too low a dose of Xanax. 

 

Here is a benzo equivalency calculator:

 

Benzodiazepine Calculator

 

According to that,  30 mg Temazepam = 1.5 mg Xanax

 

However, since your dependency level on Temazepam is unknown, you may do fine staying at .75 mg Xanax, but I did want to mention this in case you felt an updose might help. Please note that different calculators will give slightly different results, but it's possible you are dealing with Temazepam withdrawal that is not completely covered by the increased Xanax at .75 mg. 

 

Question - In your signature, you state "Taking .75 Xanax for about 2-3 months"; however, you state you went to the higher Xanax dose in July (when you stopped the Temazepam).  What date did you drop the Temazepam and go exclusively with the higher dose of Xanax? Was it in July?

 

The reason I'm asking is because the safest time to updose a benzo is within 2 - 4 weeks of reducing it. 

 

 

On 8/17/2018 at 12:31 AM, HealingPower said:

 I think I need to microtaper because I'm damaged from the injection two months ago still.  But I don't understand how to do it, and my scientific brain doesn't allow me to think that shaking up Xanax that is insoluble in water is going to work.  

 

A micro-taper would be best. You can use a small amount of alcohol or propylene glycol to dissolve the Xanax first, and then add water. This will make a solution. We can give you all the information to do this when you are ready to start tapering. 

 

Are you currently on any other medications or supplements?

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements, as many members report their nervous systems are simply too fragile to handle them. However, magnesium and fish oil tend to be calming to the nervous system and many people report they do help. Please only add in one supplement at a time and at a small dose. For more, please see:

 

King of supplements: Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil)

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker

 

We'll need to get more information before advising you. Alto mentioned a daily symptom pattern. Please post that here in your thread using this format:

 

Drug and Symptoms Journal Format

 

Please also include supplements and the number of hours you are sleeping at night.

 

After a couple of days of listing your daily symptom pattern, we can help you set up a safe taper schedule. 

 

Edited August 19, 2018 by Shep
fixed incorrect information on calculation

[Shep]

On 8/17/2018 at 12:31 AM, HealingPower said:

 Sometime around May or June of 2018, a couple months ago, I started a new thyroid med that gave me insomnia.

 

Please see our thread on thyroid issues, as you may find some helpful information:

 

Thyroid symptoms - hypothyroid, Hashimoto's

 

Please also list your thyroid med in your signature and include it in your daily drug and symptoms journal. 

[HealingPower]

Thank you for your kind response and willingness to help us desperate strangers! 

Wow, yes, for some reason, the Temazepam to Xanax conversion chart varies wildly depending on the chart, from .75 to 1 and yours is 1.5! I just really didn't think I took it often enough to need to account for it, but what do I know.  The week I was injured, I did probably take 3 in that week.  The rest of the weeks were either one a week or 2 a week maybe.  

My last Temazepam was July 8.  So yeah, can't do anything with that anymore.  

My mind says no way i was dependent on the Temazepam.  However,

After I stopped both the Temazepam and Xanax for four nights.....i started getting symptoms of tingling legs, headaches, jelly legs, more panic than i had been getting from the Compazine injury. And no sleep.  None.  For three nights.  The fourth night, I took a half of a xanax and got two hours.  After that I would get between 2-3 hours with the .5 Xanax.

Someone in the other group told me to start taking .75 Xanax in case i had indeed been dependent on the Temazepam. I had no idea how to reinstate something I had take so sporadically and INSTEAD of the Xanax.

I had STARTED taking the Xanax more regularly sometime in June for a thyroid pill, Tirosint, that my endocrinologist had put me on, 112 mcg, which brought my TSH down to 0.0.  Very bad. In July I realized the problem and had her bring me down to 50 mcg.  I still think it's too high and am trying to get her to bring me down to 25 mcg.

Since the end of July, I have gotten a bit better in symptoms.  My legs aren't as tingly.  My panic isn't as high in the mornings. But my panic during the day was pretty high, was it from interdose (suddenly?), was it from the stopping of Temazepam, was it from my Compazine injury (because that IS the symptom everyone reports.) 

I am down to eating only about 8 foods, because last month everything I ate made my heart race.  I am down 27 pounds in two months though. I do have my appetite back after 12Pm but I don't know what to eat so I am hungry most of the day.  

Can i also add that since this injury, I have never felt tired during the day. High adrenal cortisol ALL day.  Except for yesterday. It was odd.  

________

Here is some of a diary:

 

How some of my days went when I occasionlly took Xanax OR Temazepam before my medicine injury: 

6/2018

I would take .5 xanax OR Temazepam 30 Mg. Not every night, but many.  Sleep all night

Wake up a bit groggy. Less groggy on the Temazepam.

Go about my day.  

Taking 112mcg of Thyroid medicine Tirosint, which is too much.  My TSH was 0.0

 

6-2018

How my days went right after injury two months ago but never took another Temazepam which i was taking about 1-2 times per week at a max.  5 pills in three weeks of June.  60 pills for the year prior.  (I counted)

Take .5 Xanax at bedtime 

Sleep 1-3 hours (before the injury I would sleep the entire night on .5 Xanax)

wake up and chemical panic in bed until noon

Get up around 1PM.  Feel a lot better and become almost normal.  Completely normal nights.

Still taking Tirosint 112 mcg

 

7-18

AFTER STOPPING BOTH BENZOS FOR FOUR NIGHTS.

Couldn't sleep for three nights, until I took half the benzo the fourth night.  

Lots of weird leg symptoms, buzzing, tingling, anxiety, jitters, lasted several weeks.  Chemical anxiety more.  Mostly non functional in mornings/afternoon, until night.

Taking Tirosint Thyroid med (around 90 mcg)

Always wired.

 

Recently, after updosing to .75 Xanax: 

2-4AM t .75 Xanax

Wake up Panic-y

Lay in bed until 12 or 1PM

Get out of bed and try and eat some blueberries or avocado or oatmeal

Feel jittery (from interdose? from injury/) until 4PM

4PM Feel some interdose, or what i THINK is interdose, pain in my jaw and boaring pain in my back. The weeks prior I was only getting it around 12AM, about time to take my one dose of Xanax .75

After dinner, usually plain meat and a vegetable.   Feel mostly normal. No jitteriness.  No real pain of 'interdose'.  

Later, some pain of 'interdose' in my jaw/back would come back.  But still feeling not jittery or anxious.

2-3 AM take my .75 Xanax

Sleep for 3 or so hours

 

 

TWO NIGHTS AGO:

3AM Took .5 Xanax. 

Woke up at 8:30. Minimal Anxiety (down from several days ago, for 6 weeks had max panic in the mornings)

Laid in bed. Took .125 Xanax at 11Am

DID NOT TAKE MY THYROID MEDICINE BEC I HATE IT

Laid in bed some more. Still tired  Got up at 2PM

Feel tired, out of it.  But no anxiety.

Had some oatmeal with blueberries.

Felt down, first time since injury with compazine

Felt down and tired the rest of the day

Took .125 Xanax at 7PM

Tired

Finally started feeling more normal, but still tired

 

 

LAST NIGHT, I am on my fourth day of spreading the Xanax  .75 out into .5 at night and .125 two times during the day (to try and stop my jitters during the day)

3:30AM .5 Xanax.  Sleep on and off from 4Am to 8Am.  Not very well. Not very tired.

11AM .125 Xanax.  DIdn't make me tired today? 

12PM: .50 Tirosint (thyroid med)

1:30PM, just now want to get out of bed.  Don't even really want to, to weak.  Haven't eaten anything though.  

 

 

 

__________________________________

As an aside:   Below was an excerpt back in July 28 from a FB post: looks like i was still having bad symptoms. I do seem so much better, now, though not as functional as I need to be for my family and small children:

 

July 28: Turns out inner akathisia (from Compazine) has many of the same symptoms of acute benzo withdrawal, I had no idea. I'm still sitting over here three weeks later trying to figure out if I have inner aka from the ER visit that gave me outer and inner akathesia for two nights from a compazine injection for a headache...or if i have inner aka for benzo withdrawal. It's odd how they mimic each other. My symptoms are severe panic that lasts all morning and into the day, debilitating and hellish which causes me to write directions when i'm able to write on how to take care of my ill child, can't eat much, when i do eat my heart races unless it's plain oatmeal, other foods give me panic, can only eat like 6 foods right now without it causing my legs to get electric and uncomfortable, lost 20 pounds in two weeks, tinnitus, my bladder, during these spells feels very annoying and I have to urinate, dry mouth, blurry vision tonight. I had none of this before the shot. And after my last dose of a benzo, a week later after the shot, I got a splitting headache, icy veins, a tremor in my fingers (which went away after I took a benzo). Anyone want to help me figure out which one it is, or both?

 

[Altostrata]

42 minutes ago, HealingPower said:

I do have my appetite back after 12Pm but I don't know what to eat so I am hungry most of the day.  

 

If you take Tirosint in the morning, this could be because the dosage is still too high. This can also cause that energy surge and sleeplessness. Thyroid hormone has a very long half-life. It may take a couple of weeks before you feel a reduction.

 

You might want to look into

 

Food sensitivities
 
Histamine food intolerance

 

Elimination or exclusion diets for reactions to food (food intolerance)

[HealingPower]

Thank you, I will go get my blood tested again.  That should be interesting while feeling like this.  Oh, and I barely eat anything now.  Bec I'm scared of aggravating anything.  So I eat only plain chicken, beef, ground beef and some veggies and like three fruit.  Lost 25 pounds now in two months, and look very skinny. 

[HealingPower]

And no, I take no other supplements, I would like to try Vitamin C again though.  I eat little. Oatmeal, blueberries, a plain meat at dinner and vegetables.  I need to start branching out though, because i've lost soooo much weight since the crap hit the fan three months ago. 

[Altostrata]

Be sure to drink enough water, too. Get some food into yourself 3 times a day even if you don't feel like it, that's important for keeping adrenals and thyroid working properly.