juelli: intro

[juelli]

Admin note: link to benzo forum thread - Juelli: klonopin tapering

 

Hi,

 

I was prescribed antidepressants and klonopin in the 90’s during some stressful life situations. In 2005 I did an uninformed, unsuccessful taper of my AD and klonopin, then was reinstated  on Klonopin &  Effexor.

 

In 2011, I started another taper, still uninformed,  but slower.

 

I toughed out increasing symptoms, eventually stopping Effexor at just under 10 mgs November 2017.

 

During Nov-Dec 2017, except for brain zaps, dizziness,  I felt really good, better than before I jumped. I was taking K, but infrequently.

 

However, in January 2018 my symptoms began to slowly increase and intensify: SI, depression, anxiety, insomnia, anhedonia, social anxiety, weight-loss, anger, cog fog, etc. I was working a very physically demanding winter job, which distracted me for several hours a day so  I managed the season. I still was taking K  infrequently...like a rescue dose every 4-5 days, usually .5 mg or less.

 

By mid-April 2018, I crashed and convinced I was losing my mind, I started searching for suicide support groups on-line. I found Benzobuddies and the Ashton Manual. However, at the time I never considered that my AD discontinuation was a factor because I'd felt so good when I discontinued. I thought I was only dealing with Benzo withdrawal and focused on that.

 

With support from BBs, I stabilized on a daily dose of Klonopin (1.5mg) and on June 1, 2018 using a homemade liquid Klonopin solution, I began a symptoms based, daily liquid micro-taper. I am currently at just under .6 mg K and figure I have 1-2 years left to taper. At first had more waves than windows but I worked hard learning coping strategies.  I was able to work my winter job. 

 

About 6 weeks ago I suddenly began to have less intense waves and have slowly been able to increase the taper rate. Even though the waves are less intense I must work extremely hard at distracting myself from the symptoms but anhedonia, SI, depression, feelings of doom and being overwhelmed are always lurking. It is exhausting and life is not enjoyable. I have a healthy lifestyle and a supportive therapist who is anti-psych meds. I should mention that my husband, while supportive, has significant health issues adding to my stress.

 

So, this brings me to my questions… Is stopping the Effexor at just under 10 mg considered a CT? Are my sxs due to the Effexor jump or the Benzo taper or both...and does it even matter?  If it is from the discontinuance of the Effexor what is the healing timeline? (I'm guessing every one is different but perhaps there is a general pattern?) Could it be that the less intense waves are due to healing from the Effexor discontinuation after 18 months? Is there anything I should be doing differently to help me heal from the AD discontinuation? As I said, I am more familiar with Benzo tapering/discontinuation than ADs.

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this introduction. Composing is very difficult for me, so please let me know if I need to clarify something. I look forward to your insight.

 

J

Edited May 31, 2019 by Shep
added link to benzo forum thread

[Songbird]

Hi Juelli, welcome to SA.  It's hard to know for sure, but I think it is quite likely that you've been in withdrawal from both Effexor and Klonopin.  I wouldn't call jumping off at 10mg Effexor a CT, but it's possible you may have tapered too quickly.  Also, Effexor is well known for being difficult to withdraw from.  I think it is possible that your less intense wave could be a result of some healing from Effexor withdrawal after 18 months.  It's great that you've learned some good coping strategies.

 

It would be helpful if you could please create a signature containing a summary of your med history, including all drugs, doses and dates (starting and stopping).  Your signature appears below every post you make, and helps us see your situation easily without having to read from the top every time.   You could look at my signature for an example.  Instructions for creating your signature are here: Please put your withdrawal history in your signature.  You can edit your signature here: edit your signature in Account Settings.

 

Looking at your current symptoms, if you still are experiencing quite severe symptoms as you taper Klonopin, it could be a sign that you may be tapering too quickly.

We have a benzo forum here (Benzo tapering and recovery), and mods who are experienced with benzo tapering.  It might be a good idea for you to create an introduction for yourself in the benzo forum as well, so our benzo mods can assist you with your klonopin taper.  

 

 

[juelli]

Thank you so much, Songbird! I had created a signature, I'm not sure why it isn't showing up, I can see it on my post, although, I don't see it when I am composing this reply, should I?  I find learning new things so frustrating;  it is going to take me a while to learn this site!

 

I really appreciate your take on my situation.  Everything is such a guessing game in all this! I will join the benzo taper forum, I missed that when I was roaming around here.

 

 

 

[Songbird]

Your signature is showing up fine.  I think it might not show up if you're posting on a cellphone.